Our Mothers Ourselves

Katie Hafner

Katie Hafner -- longtime New York Times reporter and author of "Mother Daughter Me" -- interviews the offspring of one extraordinary mother. The concept is simple. And sometimes simple turns profound. read less
Society & CultureSociety & Culture

Episodes

Ginny Hughes, Unflappable Mom. A Conversation with Mallory Woodruff
Nov 4 2021
Ginny Hughes, Unflappable Mom. A Conversation with Mallory Woodruff
When Ginny Hughes's oldest daughter, Mallory, was born, she  knew something was terribly wrong. Ginny started talking to doctors, they told her she was having "the mommy worry syndrome."  But Ginny was a nurse and knew to trust her instincts. Eventually Ginny took Mallory to see Dr. Celia Ores, a pediatrician in New York. All Dr. Ores had to do was kiss Mallory and taste her salty skin, and she knew -- Mallory had cystic fibrosis. After a more formal "sweat" test, the diagnosis was confirmed, and Ginny then devoted the rest of her life to caring for Mallory and her sister, getting them the best treatment, teaching other caregivers their care regimens, traveling to New York City every three months for appointments. When Mallory was diagnosed, the life expectancy for cystic fibrosis patients was in the teens or early 20s.  She's now 36. Ginny Hughes  lives in Greenwich, Connecticut and helps Mallory with her own kids. “My health is so good because of her care," Mallory says of her mom. "She taught me how to take care of myself, she got me this far, and now medications are out that make cystic fibrosis a side dish to my life." Artwork by Paula Mangin (@PaulaBallah)Music composed and performed by Andrea PerryProducer: Claire TrageserSocial Media: Claire TrageserMother Word Cloud: Please contribute the one word that best describes your mother to the Mother Word Cloud at www.ourmothersourselves.com.Note: Our sister podcast, Mother Mine, has moved to a separate feed. Click here to listen to it on Apple Podcasts.
Barbara Van Dusen, the Jackpot of Moms. A Conversation With Lisa Van Dusen
Oct 7 2021
Barbara Van Dusen, the Jackpot of Moms. A Conversation With Lisa Van Dusen
I've known Lisa Van Dusen for nearly 40 years, and I've always loved the way Lisa talks about her mother, Barbara: with unalloyed love and respect.Barbara  is truly the mother "jackpot," as Lisa likes to put it. She is positive, kind, and generous, and gave her three daughters an idyllic childhood in many ways. Now 93 and still going strong, she grew rugged and hardy during her Minnesota childhood. She grew up in Duluth, and then as a teenager, started going to boarding school in New York, which required taking three different trains.But even that journey, which many would see as an intimidating challenge, Barbara made into a positive. During train layovers in Chicgao, she would spend hours in the record department of a department store (yes, such departments were a thing back then)  listening to records. She went on to Smith College, then became an incredibly loving mother to her daughters.Lisa Van Dusen is an artist and the creator and host of First Person, a civic engagement champion and executive director of the Palo Alto Community Fund. Artwork by Paula Mangin (@PaulaBallah)Music composed and performed by Andrea PerryProducer: Claire TrageserSocial Media: Claire TrageserMother Word Cloud: Please contribute the one word that best describes your mother to the Mother Word Cloud at www.ourmothersourselves.com.Note: Our sister podcast, Mother Mine, has moved to a separate feed. Click here to listen to it on Apple Podcasts.
Rita Kelly Mullan, Agent of Peaceable Change. A Conversation With Bronagh Hanley
Aug 12 2021
Rita Kelly Mullan, Agent of Peaceable Change. A Conversation With Bronagh Hanley
Rita Kelly Mullan worked as a nurse, founded the nonprofit The Irish National Caucus, successfully lobbied the U.S. government to recognize human rights issues in Northern Ireland, received the Eleanor Roosevelt Award for Human Rights, was named one of the Top 100 Peacemakers by Irish America Magazine, and testified multiple times before Congress.But she was  described as a ‘Belfast housewife’ in a  1979 story in The New York Times. Born in Northern Ireland in 1940, Rita went on to become a key part of U.S. involvement there. She helped lobby for the passage of the MacBride Principles, a code of conduct for U.S. companies doing business in Northern Ireland. She emigrated to the U.S. as a single mother with her two kids in 1976 to escape the violent conflict between Ireland and Northern Ireland. After arriving, she was able to find a job as a nurse in Arkansas, then moved her family to Washington D.C. to start her nonprofit and lobby the government.This week, Katie speaks with Rita’s daughter, Bronagh Hanley,  about her childhood and her mother’s work. Bronagh is the founder of Big Noise PR, a  San Francisco-based public relations firm.Artwork by Paula Mangin (@PaulaBallah)Music composed and performed by Andrea PerryProducer: Alice Hudson, Claire TrageserMother Word Cloud: Please contribute the one word that best describes your mother to the Mother Word Cloud at www.ourmothersourselves.com.Note: Our sister podcast, Mother Mine, has moved to a separate feed. Click here to listen to it on Apple Podcasts.
Alice Davidson, Send-Back Queen. A Conversation with Sara Davidson
Jul 15 2021
Alice Davidson, Send-Back Queen. A Conversation with Sara Davidson
Author and journalist Sara Davidson is an award-winning storyteller, and she says she learned that skill from her mother Alice. Every night before bed, Alice would tell Sara and her sister the next installment in a serial story about a miniature girl named P Winky Smith who was so small she could fit in your pocket. But that doesn’t mean their relationship was idyllic by any stretch. For Sara, there were high highs and low lows in her childhood. Her mother was funny and once had dreams of being a comedic actress (she also had one of the first nose jobs in L.A.!) but she could also be derisive, mean and stubborn.Alice then developed dementia, and for Sara this was the first time she could truly love her mother, in part because ailing Alice had forgotten many of the things they had fought about.Together, Sara and Katie talk about dashed dreams, nose jobs, and the challenges of growing up with such a complicated mother, especially Alice Davidson, who was known as the “send-back queen” because she never settled for a dish that wasn’t perfectly prepared in a restaurant.Artwork by Paula Mangin (@PaulaBallah)Music composed and performed by Andrea PerryProducers: Alice Hudson, Claire TrageserSocial Media: Ilana NevinsSpecial thanks to Sarge, for permission to use the clip  from his routine about the beleaguered Jewish husband.Mother Word Cloud: Please contribute the one word that best describes your mother to the Mother Word Cloud at www.ourmothersourselves.comNote: Our sister podcast, Mother Mine, has moved to a separate feed. Click here to listen to it on Apple Podcasts.
Elizabeth Clare Prophet, Religious Leader. A Conversation with Erin Prophet
Jul 1 2021
Elizabeth Clare Prophet, Religious Leader. A Conversation with Erin Prophet
There is so much fascination around cults and extreme religions in popular culture, with movies like Midsommar and series like Wild Wild Country. We seem to have an endless appetite for stories about how people find themselves in thrall to a group and its ideas -- as well as its leader .But what if you were born into the inner sanctum of such a group?  That was the case for Erin Prophet. Her mother, Elizabeth Prophet, was at one time the leader of The Church Universal and Triumphant, which at its height boasted 50,000 members worldwide.Elizabeth's followers considered her an Ascended Master and Messenger of God. Her 1989 prediction of a nuclear conflagration prompted her followers to build fallout shelters and bunkers in Montana and gather enough food and supplies to last for years. Of course, the nuclear Armageddon didn't happen.Described by critics as a cult, The Church Universal and Triumphant is where Erin grew up. Her mother worked 24 hours a day, but she also loved to dance and would occasionally indulge in a glass of wine, which was against church rules. Erin’s memoir, Prophet’s Daughter, is her attempt to explore the complexity of her mother.Artwork by Paula Mangin (@PaulaBallah)Music composed and performed by Andrea PerryProducers: Alice Hudson, Claire TrageserSocial Media: Ilana NevinsMother Word Cloud: Please contribute the one word that best describes your mother to the Mother Word Cloud at www.ourmothersourselves.com Note: Our sister podcast, Mother Mine, has moved to a separate feed. Click here to listen to it on Apple Podcasts.
Parental Alienation: When Divorcing Parents Go Too Far
Jun 3 2021
Parental Alienation: When Divorcing Parents Go Too Far
Divorce is hard on anyone, and sometimes the children of divorce become pawns in their parents' game of revenge. But what happens when that goes too far? It’s known as ‘parental alienation.' One parent uses tactics to make the children hate or fear the other parent so much that they begin to reject them as a parent altogether.That’s what happened to Olivia  (her name has been changed to protect privacy) and her brother. Olivia shares with Katie how she became a puppet to her father, whose only goal was to turn his children against his ex-wife.This isn’t just run of the mill bitterness engendered by divorce. ‘Parental alienation’ is a term recognized by courts and mental health professionals, and for Olivia and her brother, it took years before they understood exactly what their father had done.Olivia and her brother truly believed their mother didn’t love them. In return, they treated her with disdain and disrespect, always lamenting how much they’d rather be with their father.In this episode, Katie hears about this long journey and how Olivia now considers her mom her best friend.Read the original article in The Atlantic here. And you can listen to an interview on NPR with the author here.Artwork by Paula Mangin (@PaulaBallah)Music composed and performed by Andrea PerryProducer: Alice HudsonExecutive Producer: Katie HafnerSocial Media: Sophie McNultySpecial thanks to Barbara Bradley Hagerty, for putting us in touch with Oliva.Mother Word Cloud: Please contribute the one word that best describes your mother to the Mother Word Cloud at www.ourmothersourselves.com