The Unschool Space

Today I’m chatting with Helen Stuart of Rochdale in the UK. Helen lives with her husband and between them have six children. Although the older five children had challenges at school, it wasn’t until their 7-year-old daughter who is Autistic PDA was born, that they considered taking a different path. We talk about how essential it is for children to feel safe and regulated in order to engage freely with life, what learning looks like when we take a low-demand approach to life, and why co-regulation and modelling are so important.Connect with Helen on InstagramYou can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

My guest today is Alice Bramhill, a psychotherapist from Nottingham in the UK, who lives with her husband and two sons who are ten and 13. They went to mainstream school until six years ago, then after trying a Steiner school for six months, finally left the school system altogether. We talk today about how unravelling our own stories is an essential part in all of this. And, about how, if we want our children to be free to live into their whole selves, then we have to allow them to have agency, which means learning to trust them and to trust ourselves. I hope you enjoy the conversation. Connect with Alice on InstagramYou can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

Today, I’m chatting with Nicole Vito who lives in California with her husband and 6-year-old daughter. Nicole describes how she began to question how we rush children when her daughter was just two, realising that everything that needed to happen did happen when her daughter was ready and allowed to go at her own pace. In her professional work as a psychologist, Nicole was also noticing how many of her clients who suffered from depression or anxiety seemed to have lost their connection to themselves, with them often pinpointing to a time in their childhood. We talk about how unschooling can help our children stay authentic to themselves and often lead us back ourselves too. I hope you enjoy the conversation.Connect with Nicolehttp://drnicolevitoclinicalpsychologist.com/https://www.drnicolevitoclinicalpsychologist.comInstagram @selfdirectedmamaYou can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

My guest today is Lizzie, who lives with her husband and three children, aged 8, 9 and 12  in Hampshire in the UK. Lizzie’s family came to unschooling three years ago when their youngest son, who is diagnosed Autistic PDA was in burnout after a very difficult time at school. Now, both her sons are unschooled, whilst their daughter has chosen to stay at school. Among lots of things, we talk about how difficult and liberating it is to challenge our old conditioning and all the shoulds that we have in our heads and Lizzie shares how this way of life was key to her son’s recovery from burnout. She also tells us what community and learning look like in her family and what it means to always be looking for the joy in everyday life.Connect with LizzieInstagram www.instagram.com/lizziepb1You can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

Today I'm chatting with Melissa Crockett-Joyoue from New Zealand. Melissa was on the podcast about two years ago, so it’s great to catch up with her again. Melissa and her partner have two neurodivergent children, who are now 6 and 9 and they came to unschooling after their son had an extremely challenging time at school. We talk particularly about the challenges of learning beyond school when that is never how you expected life to look, the importance of being able to regulate our own nervous systems, particularly when we have a PDA child or one who struggles to self regulate, and how essential it is to have a supportive community. And we also talk about Weave, the wonderful online community that Melissa runs for unschooling parents of neurodivergent children. Weave community link Weave InstagramConnect with Melissa on Instagram You can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

My guest today is Francine Wise. Francine lives in Kent in the UK with her husband and two daughters, who are 8 and 6. They chose this route when their eldest daughter was four years old and school just didn’t feel right. Francine tells us about how she imagined home education and learning would look and the process she went through of trying out lots of different things from Waldorf to Charlotte Mason, and all the frustration that came with that. Eventually she came to the realisation that this was really about living in a way that felt authentic and letting go of expectations, rather than piling on more. how deep our own conditioning goes, some of the ways we can become more aware of how it, and as Francine says, learn to keep shifting our lens and accepting that this is always a journey back to ourselves. Connect with FrancineInstagram: @wise_girls_at_homeYou can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

I’m chatting today with Stacey Yates Sellar, a Conscious Parenting Coach and author of Conscious Parenting Your ADHD Child. Stacey and her husband have two boys, who are 13 and 10. Until four years ago, they lived and worked in California, but had many misgivings about the highly competitive schooling system. Eventually they decided to sell their house and travel, and have been worldschooling ever since, and are now in Scotland. Among many other things, we talk about how to let go of our social conditioning and our expectations, embrace our children for who they are and embrace our own imperfect selves.Connect with Staceyhttps://www.happierbytheminute.comYou can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

Today, my guest is Melissa Miles McCarter, who lives in Missouri with her husband and her 8-year-old daughter Willakate. Melissa worked as a college professor and chose not to put her daughter in school, realising that it wasn’t a system she would thrive in. She talks about what her own deschooling looked like and how she partners with her daughter to help facilitate her interests. And Melissa describes how her daughter’s passion for acting led her to explore script writing and then to producing a film, which they’re working on right now. We also talk about what boundaries are and why we should probably all be looking out for the default no, whilst also understanding what rest and balance looks like. Connect with Melissa https://linktr.ee/lissahoopDetails about the filmhttp://thehauntedbelldownschool.comYou can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

My guest today is Linsey, who lives in the UK with her partner and three children who are 10, 6 and 1 and a half. Her family’s journey to unschooling started when they decided to take their eldest son out of school after two years extremely difficult years. Linsey soon realised that a schooled approach wouldn’t work at home either, so began to lean in to what her son needed and how he was really learning. Amongst lots of other things, we talk about the deschooling journey and how powerful it is when we start to unpick social expectations of ourselves and of our children, and to start unraveling all our old stories. Connect with Linsey on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/unschoolingstanley/You can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

Today I’m chatting with Claire Windmill who lives in Devon in the UK with her husband and two children, who are seven and nine. Claire was a social worker and early years teacher and is now a parenting mentor and coach. She shares how her family came to unschooling after taking some time out to travel and they realised how much happier and less stressed their children were out of school. We talk about the impact that messages around fitting in and what’s right and what’s wrong can have on children, and what it can look like when children are free to learn and explore. And, of course, we talk about how it all feels for the parent and the difficult work of finding our own balance in all of this, and the huge value of rest and self compassion.Connect with Claire:on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clairewindmill/website: https://clairewindmill.com/You can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

My guest today is Robyn Tamlin-Lea. Robyn is South African but now lives in the Bay of Plenty in New Zealand, with her husband and two children who are seven and three and a half. Robyn took her daughter out of school when she saw that already at a very early age, there was a strong narrative around academic expectations and her daughter not doing well enough. We talk about how when we sit back and observe, there is so much learning happening all the time, and how beyond the academic learning, living in this way with our children allows us to value so many other things, such as rest, learning about our own rhythms, and recognising and meeting our own needs. Connect with Robyn on Instagram You can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

This episode, I’m chatting with Danii Oliver, who lives in Texas with her husband and two children who are almost 6 and 11. Danii shares her story of leaving New York City behind in search of something new for and her and family, and to live a more gentle and connected life, which they now do on their permaculture farm in Texas. We talk about the deschooling process and how, even though Danii was clear from the start that they would unschool, it still took her a lot of work to unravel the deep conditioning she had from her Caribbean childhood and her own school experiences. There’s so much in this episode, but I think the main message is that we have to trust and let go in order to really see our children and allow them to be who they are. I hope you enjoy the conversation.You can follow Danii here:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kidofamilyranchWebsite: http://www.unschooldiscoveries.com/Danii's book. Unschool Discoveries is available on her websiteYou can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

In this episode. I’m delighted to chat with Heidi Steel who was first on the podcast in 2021. Heidi is a former teacher and has four children who are 16, 15, 12 and 9 and who have never been to school. Heidi shares what unschooling looks like for her family and we talk about the enormous value of play in children’s learning and development. And, amongst other things we also discuss how valuing our children’s voices and opinions over compliance is essential for them as they get older, and how living in this consensual way with our children can be far more joyful for everyone. I hope you enjoy the conversation.Connect with HeidiWebsite: https://liveplaylearn.orgInstagram: @liveplaylearn1Podcast: unschooling conversationsYou can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

Once in a while it felt like it could be helpful to take a moment to answer some of the most common questions that I get. Of course, every family is completely different, so if any of these questions or worries are relevant to you, you might want to take my thoughts as a hopefully useful starting point for your own reflections. Let me know if this is helpful for you and if you’ve any particular questions you’d like to hear discussed in the future.  You can drop me a line at contact@esther-jones.comSo, today, I am going to dive into four questions that come up a lot- What if my children don’t want to do anything?- What about exams or if they want to go back to school?- What if my partner isn’t on board?-  What can I do if I'm feeling tired or lonely?In this episode, I mention Peter Gray. You can find his blog on Psycology Today here and the link to his research about grown unschoolers here.You can also find The Unschool Space episode in which Peter Gray was a guest here.And, the episodes of The Unschool Space in which I talk with fathers are:#10 Unschooling teens, the importance of mental health, and a father's perspective, with Anthony Eldridge-Rogers #17 The right environment and lots of trust - two essential ingredients for unschooling with autism/PDA, with Simon Crummay#52 Intentional deschooling and lining up with our values, with Daniel Moeller in PennsylvaniaYou can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

My guest today is Adrienne Miller who lives in Vancouver with her husband and three children who are 10, 7 and 4. Adrienne was a teacher, and realised when her oldest child turned school age that it wasn’t a choice they wanted for him. After growing up in a strict, religious home, Adrienne also  shares her journey of unravelling her deep conditioning, and the freedom it has given her and her family. And we chat about natural learning, trusting our children and lots more. I hope you enjoy the conversation.Connect with Adrienne on InstagramYou can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

In this episode, I’m chatting with Julie Walter from Ontario, Canada. Julie has three children who are 9, 11 and 13 and have never been to school. As a former teacher, Julie  talks about how impacted she was by the differences between the resistant nature of  learning in a classroom and the kind of natural learning she was seeing unfolding happily at home. We talk about what it means to accompany our children in this journey, and why our relationships with our children are at the heart of this. And, we talk about how we can  stay trusting during the inevitable ebbs and flows and quiet moments, and how deep our own deschooling journeys often need to go. You can connect with Julie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/familyyields/You can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

My guest today is Missy Willis from Charlotte, North Carolina. Missy is a former teacher who lives with her husband and two children, who are now 21 and 16. They chose to unschool when their eldest child reached school age as it felt like a better fit for their family. Missy’s experience in the classroom as a teacher had also made her question a model in which adult coercion was understood to be essential in learning. We talk about the fear many parents have in the beginning and how important it is to hear other people's stories. We also talk about how we can support our children with compassion and curiosity and let go of the need to control outcomes. And, Missy shares how she sees how this way of living has allowed her children to become practised at touching in with their own values and knowing what’s important to them. Connect with MissyInstagram - @letemgobarefoot Website -  https://letemgobarefoot.com/You can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

In this episode, I'm  chatting with Lucy Aitkenread. Lucy is originally from the UK, but 10 years ago, set off travelling with her partner Tim, and their two young daughters. They settled in New Zealand, which is where they live now. Their daughters are now 10 and 13 and haven’t been to school. So, today we talk about the culture of school and what a huge impact it has on our lives, even as adults. And how, it often takes our children to take us back to the roots of many limiting beliefs we have about ourselves, which is why the deschooling process can run so deep. Lucy tells us about their lives in New Zealand, how she has found and created a rich community around them, and how our very different children really open us up to so many possibilities. Connect with Lucy: InstagramFacebook You can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

Today, my guest is Ruth Macallan. Originally from Edinburgh, Ruth now lives for most of the year in Zambia with her husband and her two children, who are 2 and 5. We talk about what Ruth’s child-led days look like, what it means to allow a child the freedom to go at their own pace, and how living in rural Zambia has helped Ruth to learn how to  slow down and to appreciate the beauty in the moment. And, we also chat about the importance of creating community, travelling with children, and of course, taking good care of ourselves. Connect with Ruth on InstagramYou can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace

My guest today is Claire Gillespie from Hertfordshire in the UK. Claire lives with her husband and two sons, who are 15 and 13, and they’ve been unschooling for four years, after their oldest son asked to leave school. Amongst other things, we talk about the fascinating learning journeys children embark on when they’re in charge, how different we all are from each other and the inevitable ebb and flow of the days. And Claire shares how this way of living has impacted her and the choices she makes in her own life.Connect with Claire on InstagramVisit her website You can find my blog, workshops and courses at:www.esther-jones.comOr, connect with me onInstagram: @_esther.jonesFacebook:@theunschoolspace