Leaning Toward Wisdom

Randy Cantrell

Modern Tales Of An Ancient Pursuit read less
Society & CultureSociety & Culture

Episodes

Making Yourself A Better Companion
4d ago
Making Yourself A Better Companion
Note: The picture in the featured image is my 100-year-old dad holding my 92-year-old mother's hand as she lay dying. She passed from this life on April 4, 2024. They were married for 73 years, a testimony to the power of companionship. Companion / Companionship a person or animal with whom one spends a lot of time a feeling of fellowship or friendship Do you want to be alone with yourself? And if not, then why do you think anybody else would ever want to be around you? What is it about you that might be off-putting? Or unsafe? Let's begin with a word, EFFORT. It's the thing we can all control. It's the igniter in the combustion chamber of success. Whether it's relationships - companionship, or some other pursuit - if we put in enough effort, we can always ensure our growth. Hard work may not result in an absolute win, but it will result in personal growth. The kind of growth that can impact every aspect of our life. “Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”         ― Helen Keller In recent weeks I've talked a lot about my challenges with having too many spinning plates. This goes directly to EFFORT, which means we need to discuss another word, CAPACITY. There is a limit to our effort because our time is limited. And our ability is limited, too. Time is easy to measure. It's definite. Ability may be impossible to measure. I suspect we're all severely limited by our mind thinking "this is all I've got," when in reality, we can do more. Evidence of such things is the Navy Seal training and many other physical/mental challenges that people regularly conquer. The person who wants to run their first marathon may quit thinking it's too hard. But those who go on to run their first learn they're more able than they thought. Those who quit are convinced it just wasn't something within their reach. Like Henry Ford famously said... “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't --- you're right.” What if we believed - truly believed - we were more able? I have asked hundreds of executives, business owners, and other leaders a simple question: "Would you say that most of your dreams have come true?" 100% of them answer, "Yes." That doesn't mean every dream was achieved. Or that they've got no more dreams left to chase. It just means they achieved most of the things they set out to achieve. After they've weighed in, I'll then say, "Makes you wonder what kind of potential we're leaving on the floor, huh?" What if we dreamed bigger? What if we chased something seemingly impossible for us? Our lives seem to be proving to us that we might be able to achieve most things we pursue. Why shouldn't we reach for more? And why shouldn't we help others reach for more? Time is easier. Daily we say YES and NO. Daily we may say yes to things we'd rather say no to. We may also say no to things we'd really like to say yes to. All these decisions impact our time. They determine our calendar. And our calendar - those things we answer wrongly - determines our resentment and bitterness. Suppose I say yes to an invitation I'd rather say no to. Maybe I'm cowardly in the moment. Maybe I'm too worried about hurt feelings. Not my own, but the person inviting me. Maybe social pressures are in play. But for some reason, I give the wrong answer and now this dreaded event is on my calendar. Who is served by my wrong answer? Not me. Not my inviter. Nobody else in my sphere. Because I'm going to dread it and it'll certainly impact my demeanor and behavior. That doesn't mean I have to behave hatefully. I can certainly make the decision that's ideal in a polite way. I can be gracious and thank the person for inviting me,
Customer Service Fanaticism
Apr 19 2024
Customer Service Fanaticism
In 1982 I stood in front of a group of employees of the retail company I was running to tell them, "Who would have thought we'd reach a time when saying "please" and "thank you," "sir" and "ma'am" would be a competitive edge?" That was then. This is now. Superior customer service is rare. That means the opportunities are extraordinary! Seize the day. Abel seized the day. Here's his story, as posted on my Facebook profile. Abel with Schlotzsky’s in Grapevine, Texas Schlotzsky's Grand Prairie, Texas Is Today's Customer Service HORROR Story (Small Hill Drive location) Rhonda placed an order via the app (something she's done with great frequency). Location: Grapevine, Texas. Problem: during checkout, the app encountered a problem with her saved credit card requiring that it be re-entered. Done. Order placed. Problem #2: during that payment problem evidently the order location changed from Grapevine to Grand Prairie. She didn't notice that until we were in the drive-through of the Grapevine location. She explained the problem and they politely said, "No problem. Just call them to get a refund and we'll make the sandwiches here." So we pulled into a parking spot to call Grand Prairie. She explained the problem and as they seemed to be helping her the connection went dead. I suspect they hung up on her (she was on the speakerphone). She dialed back. Explained it again, but this time it was a different person. "No, we've already made the sandwiches. No refund!" (Do this in the voice/tone of the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld and you'll be dangerously close to the sound of this man on the phone). She asked for the manager. "I am the manager." I took the phone to ply my powers of persuasion but without success. The Sandwich Nazi wasn't going to bend an inch. This $22 transaction was more meaningful than a long-time customer. I entered the Grapevine store to see what I could do. A pleasant gentleman behind the counter was taking orders. I was 3rd in line. Immediately I thought, "This store isn't run by the same folks that operate Grand Prairie." Turns out, I was right. As I explained our quandary, the gentleman said, "Oh yeah, you were just in the drive-through." I told him Grand Prairie refused to issue a refund. He was shocked. I asked what I could do. He asked me what we ordered and I told him. He punched it into his computer and said, "I got you." No, no, no - that wasn't the solution I was looking for and I insisted on paying. "No," he insisted, "I got you." I thanked him and told him I was going to share this story. I gave him my business card, took a quick selfie as he handed me the order, gave him a bro hug, and thanked him asking, "What's your name?" I'm pretty sure he said, "Able." If not, I apologize. It was busy and I didn't want to detain him. Schlotzsky's in Grand Prairie - Small Hill Drive - boos and hisses to your ownership and management for pathetic customer services Schlotzsky's in Grapevine - kudos and salutes to your ownership and management for stepping up to do the right thing. A special shout-out to the gentleman in the picture. He understands how to be excellent! NOTE: Abel is his name! Hours later and I'm still very impressed with this man. Visit Abel and his staff at the Schlotzsky’s in Grapevine, Texas and tell them you saw this post. Pursue excellence. Chase consistency in that excellence. Do it in your professional life. Do it in your personal life. There are opportunities everywhere! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me
Beginning The End
Apr 4 2024
Beginning The End
Sloping seems more gentle than stumbling. And graceful. But when it comes to growing older it can be inaccurate. We don't slope toward a face plant. We stumble. We fall. Face-first into the ground. "Everywhere I look I see opportunities," I said. The conversation was about how we see the world and our place. Me? I have lived life trying to take various hills. Then quickly seeking out a new hill to take. Sometimes the hill is simply making it better. Always making it better - or trying to - is the curse of my mind. As I approach the beginning of my 67th year on the earth I know the end began on day one. Growing up, children only think about the present or the future. Age urges us to focus on the future and we increasingly lose track of the present. Today wasn't great, but tomorrow will be better. Until we realize our past is larger than our prospective future, which prompts us to remember. Old people don't tend to talk about the future, but they rehearse - often with boring repetition - the past. In the future, I'm liable to be guilty of the same behavior even though I hate it. I hope to avoid doing it. The end has begun. The end of many things has begun, sparking the beginning of others. Experience, not age, has taught me how little I know. And how far I have to go to reach my ideal outcome. Mostly, that ideal outcome is me. Not in some self-centered way, but in the sense that all I will ever contribute to the world is myself. Being my best self. Nothing else matters. My impact - whatever it may be - is all any of us have to offer. It's not a minimal thing either. It's massive. More so for some than others because our talents, drives, ambitions, and opportunities aren't equal. There's also luck. Mark Cuban remarked that luck was the difference between him being a millionaire and a billionaire. So it goes. I feel like I've grown. Evidence shows it's somewhat true. Never mind that some likely view me in light of the worst chapters - or sentences - I've written. Everybody can make up their mind about me, or anybody else. And they do. My days are spent focused on other people's lives. Largely on their professional challenges and opportunities. Sometimes the focus is solely on their personal lives because what ails them is deeply personal. Challenges come from all angles. Oportunities, too. The drive to make a difference is always the hill I'm trying to take. The methodology is asking questions. I figure things out by asking questions. Asking questions provides answers. Questioning answers clarifies existing answers. The focus isn't on me, so the questions are aimed at helping others figure it out. After all, it's not mine to figure out. It's a deep version of the old TV show, "This Is Your Life." It's not my life. I have my stuff to figure out. It's only about me so I can better understand, ask better questions, and improve at helping others figure things out. Relationships. Careers. Faith. Financial circumstances. Habits. Beliefs. Choices. Behaviors. Skills. Abilities. Perspectives. Hobbies. Preferences. Everything is subject to change. Everything decays. Decay starts at the beginning and continues until the end. But Eternity changes everything because according to God's Word, Heaven has no decay. Hell doesn't either. Bliss or torture without interruption. That's not how life on earth works. Bliss, happiness, joy, peace - they're all interrupted by decay. Each has enemies that disturb or destroy. Our lives are subject to change because other people have choices that can interrupt our choices and preferences. Some years ago I had different goals and dreams than I had just a handful of years ago. The changes in my goals were driven by the choices others made, which compelled me to change my mind as I tried to figure out my best path forward. It happens. To all of us. Those folks who enjoy blaming God for all the mishaps or misfortune in the...
Up All Night: Breaking Spinning Plates
Feb 29 2024
Up All Night: Breaking Spinning Plates
"The only way to learn how many plates you can spin is to break some plates. The question of capacity guarantees failure."        - T.S. Elliot He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.  - Jim Elliot (no relation to T.S. that I'm aware of) I'm not a plate-spinner. I am able to multi-task, but it's not actually multi-tasking at all. It's really intense focus on a single thing with enough speed to get a number of things accomplished over a short period. That makes it look like multi-tasking. Themes of the week have been: Self-control or self-regulation - manifested in the struggles people have with porn addiction, marital infidelity, alcohol, work, parenting, unruly children, loneliness and more Capacity and resources - what's our limit? Congruency - frustration in hearing people (often bosses) say one thing, but do something completely different Failing to figure out how or where we fit - not understanding why or how we're making a difference / wondering if we are I've got too much going on - too many irons in the fire. I'm working on it and I'll share more. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate any amount you'd like. Amazon Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!
Doing Hard Things Well
Feb 8 2024
Doing Hard Things Well
Galatians 6:7-9 "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth unto his own flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth unto the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not be weary in well-doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Show High-Lights Anybody can do easy. It requires resolve and grit to do difficult things. It requires skill, talent and solid determination to learn to do hard things well. We're the constraint. The value is in battling ourselves, not others. Feelings don't equal evidence. Figuring out what's real and what isn't is hard work worth doing well. Don't discount your will power. Don't over-estimate it either. It's a major component of the work, but it's not the only component. Who you surround yourself with matters. The environment we put ourselves in has a major impact in our ability (and agility) to navigate figuring out how to do the hard things well. We're all influenced by our surroundings. Guard your environment. Beliefs become reality. But delusions - which seem real - are still delusions. That's why evidence based living is still the path forward to mastering hard things. Consider what's possible even if you initially think it's not. Learn what you don't yet know. Figure it out. Just make sure you're not restricting yourself with false notions. Don't feel sorry for yourself or feel like others can do it, but you can't. Ponder your ideal outcomes. Imagine what might be available - and possible. Often, there's sufficient evidence for what probable, while we refuse to think it's even possible. It stops us dead in our tracks when we could be many miles further up the road to greater success! Compounding is powerful. Doing a little bit consistently over time likely beats trying to sprint until we're winded. Learning to do hard things well takes time and repeated efforts that become ingrained. Doing hard things well is habitual. Otherwise, it's inconsistent. Anybody can be a minor league player. Only those who perform well every single time can be major leaguers. Laziness and procrastination are easy. That's where the masses live. Don't be fooled into thinking you can behave just like them and achieve something greater than average. Or worse. Berating yourself is worthless. Accurate self-examination is priceless. See yourself for what you truly are and fix what ails you. Lean into your strengths. Shore up weaknesses so they don't derail you. Devote yourself to making yourself better in every way. Accept nothing less. Remember, you'll either make a way, or you'll make an excuse. Learning means making mistakes, but it means making mistakes where you're still doing your best - and making mistakes you know you can recover from. When you get it wrong - and you will - determine that you'll make it right. Only fools repeat their mistakes. Learn from yours and get better. Always be getting better! Working is hard. Retirement is hard. Health is hard. Sickness is hard. Being in a great relationship is hard. Being lonely is hard. Whatever you choose to name, on either end of the spectrum - it's hard. Every day we get to decide which hard we'll pursue. But there's a major difference in the positive things that are hard. They require more effort on the front end. A higher investment upfront. By doing that, we may be able to forego a tougher consequence. Self-discipline is the key. Let's be clear about the definition of discipline. Discipline is the quality of being able to behave and work in a controlled way which involves obeying particular rules or standards. Self-discipline is our ability to control ourselves.  Execution matters! If we're going to learn to get good at doing hard things well, we have to find the way to do them well more often than not. Ideally, to do them well all the time, every time.
Leaning Toward Creativity
Jan 25 2024
Leaning Toward Creativity
About 15 years into my podcasting journey I recorded an episode entitled, A Virtual Tour Of My Podcasting Studio. I published it 9 years ago today, January 25, 2015. In 2019 I published an update, Welcome Inside The Yellow Studio (This Is How I Podcast Now). Since then I've tried to keep a page on my personal website updated - Inside The Yellow Studio. The technology has changed monumentally since I began almost 24 years ago. Things have gotten so much easier - and so much more refined. As much as I enjoyed those early years when all of us were figuring it out, today is better. Today's show is less about the operational part of podcasting though and it's more about the metaphor of The Yellow Studio - creating, publishing and sharing. It's about the broadcasting of stories, ideas, observations and insights. It's about a journey into creativity. Well, it's about a journey deeper into creativity. I won't bore you with the earliest memories of the journey which began in childhood engaged in all sort of acts of imagination. As much as I love to learn, which requires mounds of consuming (reading, listening, observing), I'm more in love with creativity, crafting something from mostly nothing. Starting with a spark. Sometimes small. Sometimes not. A burning ember sometimes. A bolt of lightning at other times. Creativity takes practice. As in, you have to do it. Also, as in you have to do it repeatedly to improve. Bouts of creativity against not being creative at all have prevailed my entire life. As a little boy playing with an impressive Matchbox car collection to laying in the yard looking up through the pines at the clouds wondering what to do next. Enthusiastic hours spent building a fort in the woods or a treehouse in the backyard coupled with lethargic hours spent telling ourselves we had nothing to do. Boredom always best fought off by engaging the gears of our imagination so we could create hours of delight often doing something we'd not done before. Or doing things we'd done a million times before. And ready to do it again one more time because we loved it so. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I'd like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate any amount you'd like. Amazon Gift Certificates (use RandyCantrell@gmail.com). Thank you!
Shameless Retirement
Dec 7 2023
Shameless Retirement
Shameless An adjective meaning insensible to disgrace Retirement A noun meaning a withdrawal from one's position or occupation or from active working life or the age at which one normally retires The United States adopted an initial retirement age of 65 with the Social Security Act of 1935. By the mid-20th century, almost all countries had adopted a retirement age of between 60-65. About 40% of Americans receive Social Security retirement benefits as their exclusive income. The average benefit is just over $1700 monthly. Financial advice is varied, but advisors widely suggest no more than 70% of your retirement income should come from Social Security. If you were to collect the average amount - $1700 - then you'd have a monthly income of about $2400 if that math worked in your life. That's $28,800 a year, hardly a comfortable living for most people. However, as of this year (2023), the average check to 65-year-olds is about $2500 a month. Apply that 70% suggestion, then your total monthly income could rise to $3600, or $43,200 a year. That's $14,400 more than $28,800. Lots of people are doing the math urging folks to collect Social Security as soon as possible - age 62. For some, that may make sense. For others, it may not. I'm not an accountant or financial advisor. I'm just a guy sitting inside The Yellow Studio making observations about all this now that I'm 66-1/2, full retirement age. Full Retirement Age Full retirement age (FRA) is the age you must reach to receive full retirement benefits from Social Security. Your FRA varies depending on the year you were born. The FRA in the United States is 66 years and two months for those born in 1955, increasing gradually to 67 for those born in 1960 or later. Since my wife and I were born in 1957, 66-1/2 is our FRA. I achieved that in November and Rhonda hit it here in December. Life is more than numbers, but the numbers matter. What about things other than numbers? Routine and habits tend to overpower older lives. Neuroscience informs us that we're all subject to habituation. Habituation Habituation is a decrease in response to a stimulus after repeated presentations. The American Psychological Association says it involves "growing accustomed to a situation or stimulus," thereby diminishing its effectiveness. We commonly call it being stuck. Getting in a rut. What produces satisfaction or happiness? Meaning is number one. Control is number two. We need meaning in our lives. Some way where we measure our worth or value in the world. We also need a degree of control over our own lives. Freedom is choice - the ability to make a choice is largely how we execute control. As we grow older both of these can be challenges. No surprise because both are challenges no matter our age. We've all experienced moments where we hit a high in meaning and control. Like that first big raise we got, it didn't seem to last. Things seem to settle into some sort of a norm sooner than later. The hedonic treadmill is the idea that an individual's level of happiness, after rising or falling in response to positive or negative life events, ultimately tends to move back toward where it was prior to these experiences. It's like that proverbial set point for our weight. Changing that thermostat is hard. Doable, but hard. This is where habituation is a double-edged sword. It helps us progress and move forward even though it may rob us of some joy. And without habituation, we're incapable of moving. Imagine having to make every little decision afresh every day. How exhausting would that be? So we need habits to a point. We just need to be mindful of our need for - the benefits of - change! New things. New experiences. New learning. Growth. Scary can be good. Sure, it can be bad, too. But just because it's scary doesn't mean it's one or the other. It means scary is uncomfortable because it's outside our habits.
Finding A Way, Not An Excuse
Nov 16 2023
Finding A Way, Not An Excuse
The Reality Distortion Field. Guy "Bud" Tribble was Vice President of Software Technology at Apple Inc. As Apple was developing the first Macintosh computer in 1981, Bud used the term to describe Apple's founder Steve Jobs. The term seems to have originated in a 1966 episode of Star Trek when it was used to describe how the aliens encountered by the crew of the starship Enterprise created their own new world through mental force. It seems the great thinkers who are doers, like Steve Jobs, embrace (and enjoy) living in the reality distortion field of their own making. That is, they see things the rest of us don't. Vivid imagination coupled with obsession drive produces the likes of Steve Jobs and Elon Musk. Is it distortion though? It is when compared to the current state. Coupling the term "reality" to it makes it seem as though it's delusion. Something that's inaccurate, or unreal. Not true to the reality. Like a photograph that's distorted. Or the lenses in a pair of mis-prescribed glasses. The achievements of self-driven maniacs to build great things, or to solve complex problems don't seem to the result of delusion though. Rather, they seem to be imagined by people capable of seeing what the rest of us can't. Yet. “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.”   ― Aristotle The madness is subjective. What appears as madness to one feels ordinary to another. “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”   ― George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman I think that term better conveys the truth, unreasonable. It's less of a reality distortion field and more of an unreasonable - or beyond current reasoning - view of what is possible. It's a reality bending field where the unreasonable man adapts or bends the current reality into a new, improved future reality. Then continues to do it over and over again. Apple is introducing the iPhone 15. I'm currently producing today's show on a 2023 Apple MacBook Pro. Nevermind that just this week Apple introduced some brand new MacBook Pro models. In 1984 I purchased the first Apple Macintosh computer. That was then. This is now. Not even Steve Jobs, in 2011 at the time of his death, could have imagined the current technology. Had he lived, he most certainly would have figured it out though - and who knows what bigger, better products may have emerged under the Apple brand name? Steve Jobs died 12 years ago (October 5, 2011). Who knows what he may have imagined? Or what things he may have seen as persisted in trying to bend the present technology to fit his vision? It's what unreasonable men do. Mostly, unreasonable people find a way, not an excuse. We embrace different degrees and characteristics of unreasonableness as we navigate the various chapters of our life. “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”  ― T.S. Eliot How unreasonable are you? And in what ways - or about what things - are you unreasonable? Are they positive or destructive? Some of the titans of innovation have been so focused on what they see and what they want that others around them pay a high price. Sometimes, it's a price willingly paid. For example there are stories of high level employees of Apple and other high-performing companies where they burned out due to the intensity, pressure and elevated expectations. Opting for employment elsewhere, some experience boredom though because the pace is slower, the expectations lower and the strain much less difficult. In the absence of those things that burned them out they realized there was a void in their daily joy so they returned back to the company from which they resigned. Is that unreasonableness positive or destructive? Maybe both. There are other stories of these mono-maniacs on a mission (Tom Peters coined that phrase in "In Search of Excellence") who...
Living In Two Places: Is It A Path Toward Madness or Serenity?
Nov 9 2023
Living In Two Places: Is It A Path Toward Madness or Serenity?
There's a Chinese proverb that declares owning two houses is a path toward madness. That's probably true, but I wouldn't know. I've never owned two houses 'cause I've never been part of the rich and famous. ;) I'm practical. And I'm not rich by American standards, but I'm extremely wealthy by global standards (and by my own measurements). I'm content with my life and grateful for every blessing - most of them are priceless any way! From my practical viewpoint I've never quite understood folks who maintain multiple houses. Even the super rich. The exceptions are those folks who spend a lot of time in multiple places. Do the math and it just doesn't make much sense to me. I remember reading about super rich who own homes all over the world. This particular article mentioned how many days each owner was at any given house. Outside of their primary residence, most spent mere days at the other places. At most. Some admitted they had not visited some of their houses in over a year. Yet, these houses - admittedly mansions each and every one - had hundreds of thousands invested annually just to maintain them. Given that you can rent anything from a single bedroom to a mansion, I just haven't figured out the economic sense of that kind of home ownership. But it's their money and I respect their right to do what they want with their own money. I don't get a vote. I don't want a vote, but I would like to understand. Could be it's far more satisfying to claim ownership of all those houses. At a more common level may be people who have a primary house, then some vacation house. Years ago I first encountered somebody up lived in a northern state. They'd talk about going to "the cabin" on a weekend. I had visions of some nice getaway place in a remote area. Maybe on a lake. Certainly in some woods. Turns out they had a very small place in a more touristy area that was by a lake. I never saw it in person, but pictures of it showed it was a very modest little 2-bedroom, 1-bathroom house built decades ago. They had purchased it for under $50,000 many years ago and the annual cost was as close to nothing as you could probably get. They'd go visit this place each month, sometimes more. Rather than plan annual vacations they had decided - years earlier - to invest in a single place they felt they could enjoy year after year. That made sense to me. I know some other folks who invested in a vacation place they weren't able to visit more than a couple of times a year, but it was a place where they hoped to retire one day. As the years rolled on, the property value increased proving they had made a smart purchase by buying it when they could afford it. In some cases, the cost of living in some of these places escalated beyond their reach and they found it better to sell. Sure, they made a handsome profit, but that retirement goal was completely wrecked. In other cases, the property value went up but the people could still afford to cash out of their primary residence to retire to what was once their vacation house. Having a second place to go - a place to get away to - appeals to many of us. Maybe it's fully an American thing to own a second place versus being able to rent a place. Calling it our own certainly feels differently. But it can feel badly if it's too expensive or too much work. Sometimes the things that seem awesome turn out to become a big nightmare. Here's an article by Financial Samurai, Reasons Why You Should Not Buy A Vacation Property." You'll find lots of online information and many horror stories. I'm sure for some, it works out magnificently, but it deserves sober thought and an awareness of what could go wrong. But I'm not here to tell anybody what to do. Rather, I'm going to share what we're doing and then you can figure out what lessons might benefit you. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal
Men Who Would Occupy High Places
Oct 19 2023
Men Who Would Occupy High Places
Critics are men who watch a battle from a high place, then come down and shoot the survivors.   -Ernest Hemingway I was 11 when I learned how men will clamor for power and authority. Sitting along side my father I watched men wrangle, argue and get worked up. Cooperation was absent. Collaboration wasn’t even an afterthought. The only objective was, "Who is in charge?" And it was apparent to me that more than more man wanted the role. Hence, the wrangling. Life rolled on and as a young teenager working in a stereo store I saw more of the pecking order. I'd grown up seeing it so it wasn't new. First appearance was likely on the playground as we'd all try to figure out what we'd play. Invariably somebody installed themself as the contrarian - the person who would go against what everybody else wanted. I quickly realized it had nothing to do with preference and everything to do with control. Power. Authority. Hoping to gain an advantage that might be imposed on the rest of us. Thankfully, I grew up in an American that wasn't yet awakened. #Woke Mostly, such tactics didn't work because we refused to cooperate. Lemmingitus would arrive later in America. It's now a global epidemic. Bullies almost always ran up against a tougher opponent. Or a group of people who figured together they could conquer a single bully who might have a few buddies hanging on. I was still in elementary school when I learned a verbal punch to the mouth could back a bully down. Quickly. It didn't hurt that I wasn't a shrimpy kid. I was tall and husky. Husky was once a size of boy's clothing. ;) True. Bravery to confront the bully wasn't hard for me. Watching, listening, paying close attention taught me mostly there was substantially louder barking than actual biting. Besides, I wasn't terribly afraid of being bitten. Justice and rightness were more important to me. And peace. By the time I was in 6th grade I was a world-class peace keeper. Experience will do that. I've no way of knowing how many fights I broke up. Or how many arguments I shut down. Enough that it taught me lifelong lessons in how to do it successfully. Mostly, I didn't want to be in charge, but I didn't want anybody else to be either. That is, I knew my parents were my authority - and God. But we're all out here in the yard playing and why did we need somebody to be in charge? Seemed best that we all just work to some agreement so we could get on with the business of playing before it got dark and we all had to go home. Playing was way more fun than arguing or fussing. I grew up. And increasingly saw men (I'm excluding women only because as a boy growing up my experience was mostly with other men) willing to behave poorly as they fought for positions of power. Or esteem. Pride goeth before a fall. I'd learned that from the Bible. Heard it preached at worship services. Knew Bible stories that illustrated it well. Ecclesiastes 10:6 Fools are put in many high positions, while the rich occupy the low ones. I believed it. I confess I've never had a day where I thought I was the smartest person in the room. Or the playground. Or at work. Or in the classroom. Rather, I knew I was not. Always dissatisfied with current knowledge and understanding I sought to learn more. Curious enough to ask the stupid question, I'd blindly ask without much thought to how ridiculous it might make me look. I figured I looked and sounded ridiculous anyway, so I might as well know and understand whilst looking and sounding ridiculous! As with most episodes, I've given this subject considerable thought for a long, long time. Mostly because my curiosity continues to grow on the subject of power, authority, control and tyranny. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop.
Are You A Shining Star Or Space Trash?
Oct 12 2023
Are You A Shining Star Or Space Trash?
During my first few months at a brand new job - my first job where I wasn't working for my dad - I had a routine. I'd get out of class, drive to work and within minutes of walking into the stereo shop I would make my way to one of the sound rooms (yep, we had actual rooms with various stereo equipment set up; each room had sliding glass patio doors). I'd slip the vinyl out of the jacket, put the record on the turntable, grab a record cleaner called DiscWasher and clean it. Then, I'd lower the tonearm, turn up the volume knob on the amp and enjoy listening to Earth, Wind & Fire sing their famous song, "Shining Star." The beginning (and middle and end) of that song continues to be among my all-time favorites. It was a terrific record. "You're a shining star, no matter who you are. Shining bright to see what you can truly be."   Let's get the obvious out of the way. Not everybody has the same brilliance in their shine. Truth is, some of us are quite dim with no shine at all. Dull. The wasted lives are visible proof. Too many lifeless eyes and emotionless expressions thanks to alcohol, Fentanyl and other narcotics. Others are so bright others have a hard time even looking at them (or listening to them). Most have overcome adversities few fully know or understand. People determined to find a path forward. Resolved to reach a higher orbit where only the shining people reside. Notice the lyric isn't "I'm a shining star, no matter who I am." Well, that doesn't quite have the ring, but I notice pronouns. You're - you are isn't the same as I'm - I am. But the "no matter who you are" is inclusive, right? In our heads, we don't often think or feel like shining stars. It's easy to see others as shining more brightly than we do. Just like it's easier to focus on what we don't have, than on what we do. Or to focus on what we can't do versus what we can. It's like we're always doing exactly the opposite of what's good for us. I've noodled around with this particular episode for over 3 years. The draft beginning has sat here inside my Wordpress dashboard that long. I'd come to look at it, think about it, write a little bit, then abandon it. Don't know why. It's not because I didn't like the topic. I guess I got distracted by other things. The likely explanation is that it's just too upbeat and positive. :D Rhonda's last birthday - this past summer - provoked a revisit of today's show idea. I used to whip her with a letter on every birthday. I don't mean the letter R or some other letter, but a hand-written or typed out letter. I haven't done it the last couple of years because I know it beats her down. She's not nearly as sappy or sentimental as I am. ;) I can't quite remember what prompted the beginning of this episode. Maybe I was thinking about Rhonda being the foremost shining star in my life. And now, as we're nearing the end of another year, maybe that provoked some ideas. Then there's all this talk about mental health and the recent suicides in the news. Then there's the rampant disease of comparison-itis where so many folks let other people determine their level of satisfaction or happiness. It's especially rampant during the summer, vacation months where people Instagram their exotic vacation photos. And others view them with envy wishing they could afford a single night at a local fancy hotel. Envy is a bitter thing. As I am wont to do, I was thinking of these, and a variety of other things when I came back to this post. A person you love very much. Let's start there. In my case, my wife of over 40 years. Who celebrated a birthday last Sunday. Our family is officially celebrating this coming Sunday. We do things like that. Delay celebrations to match a more convenient time for everybody. I was playing that Earth, Wind & Fire record - That's The Way Of The World - as soon as it came out in January 1975. Rhonda and I wouldn't go out on our first date until July 2, 1975.
Don’t Let A Bad Day Become More
Oct 5 2023
Don’t Let A Bad Day Become More
Many motivational speakers talk about having had a bad day. Most go on to share how they lost it all, or how life crushed them down below the ground level. Or left them homeless and destitute. But... The Phoenix will always rise back up. Never mind that quite a few stories we hear are fabricated. But not all of them. Let's talk about truth though. True stories. Your story. My story. Reality.   "You had a bad day." Pain is a common topic for many people. I'm not talking about physical, injury-based or sickness-based pain. I'm talking about victim-based pain. "You hurt me," kind of pain. "You did me wrong," kind of pain. The Internet has increasingly become a place where people enjoy airing out all their dirty laundry and pining about how much trauma they've experienced. For those inclined to see themselves as victims, the Internet is boomtown! A thriving place to enjoy feeling sorry for oneself. And for blaming others for one's lot in life. In spite of Tik Tok influencers who want to blast the boomers (my generation) for failing to understand things like work ethic, or why we have no clue about life in the world today, or a host of other complaints which every younger generation makes about the older generation (read your history and you'll find many of those hippies who attended Woodstock went on to become quite successful on Wall Street and other places associated with financial success). Every generation thinks it's the smartest one to ever come along until they get old and realize how wrong they were. ;) I don't care about where anybody is on the timeline of life because there's nothing we can do about it. I didn't have a say in being a baby boomer. I just was. My kids had no say in being Gen X or Millennial. By the way, if you're as confused as I am about these labels I found this chart to be helpful. Until I saw that chart I didn't know there were 2 distinct groups of Boomers. It's such a big group I suppose they figured it deserved to be split up. Generation Jones Boomers are those, like me, who were too young to be drafted into military service because of the war in Viet Nam. Our parents were mostly those Post War folks, people whose dad served in World War II. Times Are Always Changing And with it, language. Words like trauma. For my generation trauma, suffering and pain denote something very different than they do for a Gen Z person. Being slighted by somebody, snubbed or even ridiculed isn't any of those things for me, but they're common among Gen Z. If you were write a mean, hateful review of this podcast for Apple Podcasts I would not think much of it. I certainly wouldn't be traumatized by it. It would likely cause me no discomfort. I might be puzzled by it, but my viewpoint would have a lot more to do with the author of the review than me. I'd likely wonder what's happening on somebody's life that might compel them to use such a platform to air their grievance. And it'd be likely that the person to write such a review would have never reached out to me because that's not how these things tend to go. But take that same scenario and apply it to a podcaster half my age and it could devastate them. Might even cause them to quit podcasting. A single hateful review. A complete stranger wielding that kind of power seems strangely weird to me, but I see it constantly. Podcasters (and anybody else doing something) consider themselves traumatized by some unjust critic. The trauma is only possible because we give others permission. We say YES to whatever it is we think is happening. Or we reject it and move on with our life, which is what I choose to do. A person has a bad day. They take it out on me. And that affects me how? It doesn't if I don't let it. It can cause me to have a day, too - IF I permit. IF I decide I'm going to be negatively impacted by some ninnie who has no clue about me, or my life, or what's going on with me - some stranger who happens to ...
Every Path Forward Will Have Obstacles
Sep 28 2023
Every Path Forward Will Have Obstacles
During a recent summertime hike we approached the bridge. A recent storm had blown through and knocked down a tree that fell across the bridge. Not a big deal. We just stepped over it carefully. Thankfully the bridge didn't suffer any major damage. Neither did we. It was an obstacle that wasn't there the last time we trekked through the area. It only slowed us down slightly. Some obstacles are like that. At first glance we may exclaim, "Oh no!" --- only to realize, it's not that bad. Or tough. Some obstacles are worse. That tree could have collapsed the entire bridge forcing us to improvise by adjusting our course over the creek below. The trek would have been slightly more difficult. The path wouldn't have been as straight-forward or smooth, but we could have followed the path forward. Mostly, it would have been an inconvenience. Life has shown me that's how most obstacles are. An inconvenience. We often make them out to be worse than they really are because they're unexpected. They make us spend more time lamenting their existence than we may in figuring out how to effectively navigate past them. Other obstacles are different and those are the ones I'm most focused on today. The obstacles that present themselves because we're intentionally forging a new path. A better path. One we believe will take us further. Or faster. And because it's a new path things appear like obstacles, but we really have no way to know because we've never ventured this way before. I wonder if we're seeing things correctly. For the past year plus I've spent considerable time analyzing a podcast that I began in June 2021 - Hot Springs Village Inside Out. I started the show with a co-host, but a year in we both got COVID and I had a whole lot going on. I remained very active behind the scene doing all the production work, including posting the shows and all that mundane but necessary work required to get a podcast out in the ether. I lost interest in co-hosting for a variety of reasons - mostly because it was a podcast about a specific community and I wasn't there as much as I wanted to be. My co-host lived their full-time. It just made sense to me to step away, clear my head - and my deck of all the stuff going on and figure out a path forward. A different, new path. In March 2023 I moved forward from The Yellow Studio v2.0 to v3.0. Then by May I moved forward some more by going to The Yellow Studio v3.1. You should know that when I built/assembled The Yellow Studio, I'd never done anything like that before. I started from scratch and had to learn. A lot! Over 20 years ago things were much more difficult and complicated. The technology for podcasting didn't easily exist. For a podcaster to do what I most wanted to do - operate using a broadcast workflow - it was hard and expensive because it required hardware. I wanted to hit RECORD and have my sound be as good as being on a Skype call. Yes, Virginia, we were once relegated to making Skype calls because all these other services like Zoom didn't exist. This meant lots of hardware and even more cabling. Routing those cables was a major obstacle when once conquered left you staring in the face of yet another monster, adjusting the hardware so it'd sound just right. No sooner had I hurdled one obstacle, then I'd be facing a higher hurdle. Or so it seemed. Mostly because the learning curve was steep. But... Once the obstacles were overcome - and they all were - then it was easy. I simply fired up the machinery, got behind the mic and hit RECORD. Only if a cable or connector failed - or forbid, a piece of equipment failed (yes, it happened a few times), I had a very predictable workflow that...well, it just worked. Every path forward will most certainly have obstacles, if only your need to learn something new. Usually, there'll be other obstacles brought about by the result of traveling an unknown path. It's why forward progress is such an individual and personal journey.
When I Die, While I’m Alive
Sep 21 2023
When I Die, While I’m Alive
I launched my webcam, put on headphones and sat behind the microphone to record "An Oral History." Parts 1 and 2 were recorded on March 11, 2011. Part 3 was recorded on January 16, 2017. Part 4 was recorded on June 23, 2022. I gave my children copies of Parts 1, 2 and 3. I haven't yet shared Part 4. Fifteen to twenty years ago I first crafted a document I named, "When I Die." In it, I outlined, in some details, what I most wanted to happen when I die. I would regularly change and edit the document, often driven by the death of somebody. The deaths of close friends would spark greater editing. Life events then began to dramatically impact the document. As my life changed I'd edit the document. I changed the document drastically in the fall of 2018 when I went through some dark times. Since then I've changed it more slightly - tweaking it. I just finished making minor refinements to it this morning, sparked mostly because of the death of "the last man standing." I made this post on Facebook on July 10, 2023... The Last Man Standing He was among a select group of older men who helped shape, influence and challenge me to become better. Always better. Johnny Elmore, Ronny Wade, Barney Owens and Don King were the giants in my life. Trusted advisors I could call about anything. Everything. And I did call them. I leaned on them because they were stalwart men I could count on. The Lord's work was always their top priority. My spiritual best was unquestioned. For wise counsel, caring challenges, or correction, I found none better than this group of men. They knew God's Word and how to apply it to our lives. They hopefully saw me at my best, but most importantly, they helped when things were at their worst. Loving the Lord and His Church was THE common bond, but all four shared a wit, wisdom and humor that resonated with me since I was very young. They were fun. Funny. And it mattered. Men who could laugh at themselves, and others. Men who were slow to "should" me ("you should do this or that"). Instead, they were men open to question. To question the answers we may have thought we already knew. To answer the questions we may have not yet dared to ask. Truth seekers, each one of them. Truth tellers, all of them. I loved them all very much. For their knowledge, experience, insights, wisdom and candor. Don was the last man standing in my small, but vital circle of influence. At Ronny's passing I told him so. We talked about how as life rolls along we lose our mentors. I told him I may have to "get younger at that position." But there's no getting younger at that position. There's only the acknowledgement and gratitude that I had them for as long as I did. And I tried to make the most of it without being too intrusive. I came of age under the tutelage of these men. They were watchful protectors over every significant event and decision I made. In just a matter of months three of them were gone. Barney. Johnny. Ronny. I told Don I hoped we'd have many more years together in the journey. I said, "I'm unprepared to go it alone without at least one old man in my life...tag you're it!" We chuckled...unaware of how little time we had. But in spite of his health challenges in recent years as his outward man began to perish, I was confident that Don's inner man was being renewed day by day. That's a confidence I had in all four of the old men in my life. It's why I was always anxious to hear their wisdom, listen to their counsel and make my decisions accordingly. I'm thankful to have sat in the presence of these four giants who each helped me stand when I might have crumbled. Men whose influence is sure to outlive them. I loved them all. And felt loved back by each of them. The following audio was recorded in my house on Friday afternoon, April 19, 2013 when Don and I recorded a conversation about building a good Christian home - a recording I made for a handful of young men I was hoping to serve at the time.