When experiencing stress, anxiety and what otherwise are determined to be negative experiences often people report how it seemed that time stopped or that the event would never end. On the side of familiar skills and trained responses time slows down, and stops. Time dilation appears to be reported in more generative healthy activities and are related to flow state. Our familiarity with expected and predicted stressors anxiety inducing social events to expecting to be surfing and shooting the curl of the wave are both expecting and predicting as well as practicing how to handle the event. Self regulation is skill development and inexorably tied to time and how we experience it within the event. Walk well.

Tradition is often associated with family get togethers and remembering. In the areas involving skill building often tradition is about conserving and preserving skills and understandings that are useful and may transcend generations if the skill and understanding is not a social trend or tied to something that has gone the way of obsolescence. In self regulation skills, the reason we self regulated may be deeply embedded and equate to not understanding why we may over react to things that would otherwise be innocuous. Think deeply, ask yourself if the "traditions" serve, and walk well.

At times we speak of attention as if it is an on/off response like a switch. Actually our attention is always on and when we attend to new, novel or survival valuable information i.e., dangerous, edible, mateable, fightable then we we attend due to the value of the stimulus that is occurring at that moment. When things present too quickly we are apt to misinterpret and mis-identify familiar people and things as we are now reacting at the survival level of f brain that precedes our higher social, lower stakes level of thinking. Attention to novelty makes us tired. Take care, be attentive and walk well.

Dishonesty is a skill that we can become conditioned to. This means the more we lie the easier it is and the more apt we are to do it when there is a survival level advantage to be gained. For the right price, we are willing to split the difference if it means I get a bigger piece of the pie. Money, and material things can be gained to benefit self and not physically harm another individual. This is a higher permutation of dishonesty, as long as it is business and not harm of an organism or if the organism or person is a distant, non-proximal idea. This is an imperfect ideas as studies with electric shocks were controlled by students and at the urging of the confederates conducting the studies, some students were willing to shock a person to the point of lethality. No one was hurt but the conception and willingness to do this heinous action by "following orders" gives us a glimpse into our vulnerability to influence internal and external. Much to think about.

Our day to day mindset is a symptom of our patterns of behavior and is also a template of what our underlying thoughts are that drive us to do what we do. Creativity and fulfillment are things we seek but, the gravity and conceptual magnetism, our beliefs, expectations and predictions from the foundations of our life keep us in the same holding patterns. This can be frustrating. But, breaking free of the habituated mind is not impossible for does it have to be difficult. Envision the goal and resolve to move towards that even if it is small incremental steps. Time wins in all things, leverage time as it will pass anyway. So don't you want to gain something during the passing of that time that you can say is yours, gain a skill, become a better person, learn something new, have a new life? I know I do. Take care, break free and walk well.

At times we have painful events in our lives. Physical pain, mental, emotional pain and expectations of pain. Often beliefs and expectation of painful events and natural feelings of self preservation arise and often we may avoid places, people and things. The belief of pain and expectation of worsening or escalating of bad circumstances that are enough to cause an actual physical response by tension in the body in absence of actual threat of danger. The experience of pain can be altered by not engaging it in an egoic way but rather as an observer and with a good solid exhale. Take care and walk well.

The three gates resonate with many but are three useful tools for self regulation and for seeding kindness into the social mileu of everyday life. At times we may be tired and the three gates can help us to be mindful of what we say and what we do while keeping in mind what we may be setting into motion. Are we setting kindness and understanding into motion or something that does not encourage compassion nor peace. Take care, keep a discerning eye on the horizon be kind with each other. Walk well.

We have a very personal inner voice that we keep to ourselves that no one in this life will ever hear. However, the result of the that voice is part of our filter, our social brakes on those things that would be mistakes, errors of social faux pas that would alter expected or predicted outcomes. It is the voice that throttles the authentic self and limits our ability to be authentic and our capacity for trust of others but more correctly, it alters our ability to trust ourselves. Be kind to yourself, love your self, accept your self. All are big expectations. But they render powerful transformative results. Do your best and walk well.

Altruism is a very deep concept but is one that we practice intermittently throughout our days, our lives in our social  interactions with others. This being the case, we often view how we interact with others from a perspective from ourselves outward toward others. But, we often fail to apply the altruistic, compassionate and patient acceptance toward our selves. We cannot run from our mind and therefore our harsh self-judgement is following close behind in our minds. Be willing to make mistakes and laugh at yourself when we take things too seriously. Lighten your load, apply some grace and walk well.

The idea of Self Control rings more subjective cognitive bells in the realm of belief and certainly where we identify with those beliefs where we take insult based on words alone. The actuality of threat or the perception of what appears to be threatening or an indicator of threat to another can bring us to a point of affective, emotional priming even if we are not threatened. The imagined, believed and the the predicted and expected events of a mind that has been shaped by stress, trauma, physical injury and observation can send a person careening into the behavioral realms of impulsive action, aggression, sudden violence and worse yet even murder. Our brain structures help us self regulate to prevent these sort of negative occurrences. But, what happens when those areas don't activate or come on line? Impulsivity, aggression and at times violence. Walk well.

Many mistakes can be avoided and should be. However, in the process of life there are small things, little "Pecadillos" that are allowable in getting closer to the goal. Often by recognizing what we come to a situation or problem with is often overlooked and then our focus becomes on what we lack versus what is occurring in the moment stealing power from our ability to problem solve under stress and high stakes situations. Practice is mitigation of future mistakes by learning necessary skills, grace and aplomb for when all bets are off and things count for keeps. Feedback is indeed the breakfast of champions. Walk Well.

We are experiencing an epidemic increase in impulsive speech and people acting and speaking in ways that is done for attention and views but is also translating into people repeating in "real", actual in person communications in person as if their is a protection of impunity. When interacting with people we must take into consideration that there are people that require mere words to set them into action and often destructive and violent action can be avoided with self-regulation of the words we speak. Words may be cheap but, they are also powerful, especially in the minds of those that are looking for an excuse to unload their rage and anger on someone. Beware, be carful of what your spoken content is. Always lead with common courtesy, it costs you nothing and pays you back in social dividends. Walk well.

During any skills that we learn there is a neurocognitive component involved. As much as we have a thought process involved in the process of learning, a subjective component, we have a tangible neurological component that becomes active during the development of skills both cognitive and motor learning in physical skills applied in our objective world. We also must recognize that when learning that we learn best when we are happy campers, when things are low stakes allowing us to develop skills before we increase the strength of resistance to those skills. Stress inoculation for day to day use in day to day life. Walk well.

When under stress we often can quickly come to conclusions and develop beliefs without evidence beyond strong emotions that support the development of opinion. At times we assume beliefs and this is in line with our human tendency to be efficient and to save energy from unnecessary in-depth thinking which from a paleolithic lens makes sense. Conserve energy for life preservation behaviors. This can also lead us to get comfortable with ideas and not test or validate them before we assume them. Stay centered before accepting beliefs spoken, or assumptions based on surface level perceptions. Stay centered, take care and walk well.

When groups of people congregate we size each other up, develop a pecking order and determine the value of what each individual brings to the group or to the individual in charge of or leading a group. The value of self is important in self regulation as this can insulate the potential influence of a person or group of persons that may be trying to steer and manipulate people to achieve an agenda whether it be good or bad. The tools of Miyamoto Musashi author of the book of five rings emphasized  seeing the social veneer will deliver in spades when things get dark in a social scene, especially when the group is of control. Be aware and walk well.

The elements of factual communication and rapport building are enhanced by using the factual method of gathering information by asking; what, where, when, who and how before asking why. Using the five factual elemental approach helps one avoid the traps of opinion and emotional load and discourages defensiveness and the need to justify which becomes a tangential, abstract, entangling mess very quickly that can lead to serious consequences and breaking of communication.

Extreme emotions like regular level emotions are transient states, not long enduring traits. The shaping of beliefs and expectations however would make emotions feel like a an enduring trait over time. This is where in a negative sense, patterned behaviors may occur more often in an individual and therefore more predictable and supportive of the adage that says, "patterns never lie".  This statement however can not be perfectly trusted. To act "as if" is a form of behavioral camouflage and means patterns can indeed lie. Look deep, walk well.

Frequently in a busy life we overlook the factors that shape not only what we believe as fact or true but how intensely we may believe what we are shown or see. Often what we see hinges on what we hear and are told by our peers, family and authorities in our lives. The prevailing social tone in a conversation or group atmosphere or the prevailing societal tone in a larger sense through media is often based on what we feel first. Understanding this detail can help us suspend reacting to feelings when they start small and give us an opportunity to change our state by changing the direction of our inner self talk when it still holds sway over how we feel. Timing is everything.

Time is an important component of regulating and controlling emotions in life situations. We have a short window of time to work with but, if we can resist the temptation of acting on our emotion immediately, we open a whole new world of opportunity to choose and act in a way that does not lead to calamity, discontent or worse. Walk well.

When under stress our ability to rationalize and reason is compromised due to the environmental priorities that require we be stronger and faster than smarter or more socially acceptable. When we are in a rapid and fast changing environment our perception becomes our primary information receiver and can also influence how we interpret information is it friend or foe and our categories at the cognitive level become simplified and expedient. No fluff, just hard facts with lots of inaccuracies if we were to try to reason or friend or befriend with. Our deeper neural structures are about survival of the individual and makes us a bit intense of aspect and less apt to look friendly in the face of stress, anxiety or danger.