Is it possible to be IMPARTIAL on the subject of OFF THE HOOK? * After all, its REPUTATION is known world 'round! * I'd be the first to RECUSE myself if the EVIDENCE suggested I was GUILTY of TRYING to COURT listeners with CLAIMS of BIAS, but the fealty of my fiefdom renders such JUDGEMENT DISMISSED! * The VERDICT is that RADIO DEMOCRACY is UPHELD every Friday on OFF THE HOOK, the show without PEER! * WITNESS the glory on KXSF 102.5 FM  https://kxsf.fm/

All in a day's work?  Forgive me if I laugh as I take off my waders, having spent the week knee-deep in a river of dreck to extract the QUALITY GEMS you, the listener, expect from OFF THE HOOK * Sure, there's a level of satisfaction -PLEASURE even- in presenting you the results of my labors each week. * But my personal SATISFACTION isn't enough! * Your listenership is ALL-IMPORTANT, lest they can my ass -what will I do without all the money I don't make from this plummy-yet-thankless job? * It's not your problem, but I think you'll sleep a little better knowing you've kept me off the street and given me a reason to starve -just by listening to OFF THE HOOK!

OFF THE HOOK has nothing to hide! * Every week, The Show That Shows is ON TRIAL! * Will it continue to provide STIMULATING programming that highlights The Best in NEW MUSIC? * Will the Birthday Segment educate listeners and let them stroll down Memory Lane with FUN MUSIC of all kinds? * Will its host make verbal gaffes and have studio technology get the best of him? * YES, YES and YES! * OFF THE HOOK seeks not to DELAY listeners' JUDGEMENT! * It is GUILTY only of bringing you the VERY BEST programming every week on KXSF 102.5FM / https://kxsf.fm/

March goes out like a Lioness on OFF THE HOOK's final installment of the CREME DE LA FEMME series today! * Exclusively featuring Musical Artistes who happen to be Women, we once again redress the balance and GIVE RESPECT to the half that have been making the Other Half look like neanderthals for years! * Tune in for the Fiery Finale of this year's Women's History Month festivities on OFF THE HOOK (KXSF 102.5FM  https://kxsf.fm/ ) * Yer mama will love it!

In observation of Women's History Month, Daughters and Grannies, Aunties and Wives will take center stage on the latest installment of the CREME DE LA FEMME series! * From Tangy Señoritas to Frosty Danes, OFF THE HOOK has roamed the globe and discovered that WOMEN ARE EVERYWHERE! * And while Women have been MUSICALLY DOMINANT for some time now, this is not a Battle of the Binaries, but a celebration of the resplendence of Musical Mamas the world over! * Guys will have their turn during the Birthday Segment, but otherwise it's the LATEST SOUNDS from the Wombyverse! * KXSF 102.5FM

If you think OFF THE HOOK isn't going to recognize INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY today, you be dead wrong! * International women will be heard a-plenty and exclusively (except for the Birthday Segment. Sorry, but fair's fair) on today's program as we return with our yearly feature: the CREME DE LA FEMME series! * Women singers, songwriters, musicians, composers, arrangers and producers will strut their stuff before your very ears in a cavalcade of the O VERY greatest latest Women-est tracks in a variety of styles! * Kicks off at 1:00 on KXSF 102.5FM ~  https://kxsf.fm/

OFF THE HOOK Flight Plan 3/1/2024: chug along at light speed towards the future, taking in sounds of HEAVENLY musical bodies. * Then -ZZZZIIIIIIP-FLOOOOOP- rewind to the past for the Birthday Segment * and then -ZZZZZRRRRROOOOOM- back to the future towards a BEAUTIFUL horizon! * Traversing a straight line -steady on, no brakes- through REALMS UNKNOWN. * A pleasure cruise ...and something more? * You get out of OFF THE HOOK what you put into it! * Port of embarkation: KXSF 102.5FM /  https://kxsf.fm/

I know you want to retreat into your COMFORT ZONE -the world is so exhausting today! * What with the Machiavellian Machinations of Power-Mongering Politicians and Treacherous Tech Goons, who wants to be challenged by unfamiliar NEW SOUNDS? * Well, BUCK UP, KID! * A weak mind and weak spine will not serve you! * Extract yourself from the GOOEY MORASS of complacency and keep your senses sharp! * They prey on soft, spongy brains and OFF THE HOOK may be your only defense against Despot Domination! * Free your mind on KXSF 102.5FM ( https://kxsf.fm/ ) * Comfort sounds = mind rot = death.

My father had LOFTY goals for me as a child. * "You should be a Writer or an Actor", he told me. * "But, I wanna be a Lawyer", I said. * "You now have but one parent", he replied, as his back disappeared though the door. * After being fired from my eventual short-lived Legal Assistant job, my DJ career commenced. * My mother said "You are so great.  Everyone should be like you." * "Thanks, Ma, but the world needs some practical people as well." * And so we have OFF THE HOOK, the non-practical, not-exactly-artistic, UNINTIMIDATING friend you visit every week on KXSF 102.5FM /  https://kxsf.fm/

It's a SLIMY, corrupt world, this radio biz, full of seedy, UNSAVORY bedfellows. * Take the way you help me perpetrate a weekly SHAM by pretending to listen to OFF THE HOOK while I pretend to care, kicking back, counting my dough while "playing records". * Left-wing conservatives never report on my show, while right-wing liberals host listening parties of a hundred or more in an effort to severely reduce my "numbers". * It's DISGUSTING, I tell ya -HAVE NO PART OF IT! * But, do tune in to KXSF 102.5FM or -I mean AND- https://kxsf.fm/

OFF THE HOOK is heard everywhere:  in parks, in cars, at the gym (imagine!) and in bed (recommended)! * And then there are those of you who enjoy your "Slough-Off Fridays" listening to OFF THE HOOK in your offices and cubicles! * You've slaved all week making money for somebody else and now it's your turn to ENRICH YOURSELF on company time! * The music played on OFF THE HOOK is much more IMPORTANT AND BENEFICIAL to you than the work you're given and your Secret Friend speaking so intimately to you on your earbuds has a most POSITIVE EFFECT! * Working five days a week is insane and Take Back Friday, YOUday, whatever you call it, is finally here! * You've earned it, you deserve it, you deserve OFF THE HOOK! * 102.5FM https://kxsf.fm/ The Show That Pays.

STOP SHLUBBY RADIO! * You pride yourself on being smart, up-to-date and WITH IT, right? * So, why should you settle for the frumpy dump of picked-over remains heard on other radio programs? * OFF THE HOOK reflects your stylishness and GOOD TASTE, the mirror that others gaze into over your shoulder with admiration and WONDER! * So, too, are other radio programs agog with rapt envy at the GORGEOUS up-to-the-minute offerings heard on OFF THE HOOK! * Step into the looking glass on KXSF 102.5FM / https://kxsf.fm/  for OFF THE HOOK, the fairest of them all!

Pardon my OUTBURST, but OFF THE HOOK can do no wrong! * Its creator and host cannot be removed or held responsible for any acts perpetrated on the air between 1pm and 4pm every Friday on KXSF because said creator and host has been granted CURATORIAL IMMUNITY! * It is built into the bylaws that govern OFF THE HOOK, bylaws created by its creator! * What he lacks in SELF-CONTROL, he more than makes up for with TYRANNICAL programming to Make Radio Great Again! * Become a subject of our musical kingdom on KXSF / https://kxsf.fm/ * OFF THE HOOK:  its immunity is built into its name.

So, it's come to this. * I'm expected to provide RIVITING, JOYOUS AND EDUCATIONAL musical programs EVERY WEEK for you? * What if they are merely MARVELOUS, FABULOUS AND BOOGIE-FIED? * What if I just say No? * OK, you got me! * You know I can't withhold from listeners the musical TREASURES I come across each week! * That would be antithetical to the righteous code of OFF THE HOOK! * You win!  Just tune in at to KXSF 102.5FM or https://kxsf.fm/ and we'll put your little power play behind us.

Well, that BIG ASS SOLAR FLARE threatening to WREAK HAVOC with radio transmissions was a bust! * You call that a X5 flare? * Little did Sunspot AR3536 know that OFF THE HOOK wreaks its own havoc! * No solar X-rays with PLUMES OF SOLAR PLASMA in the form of coronal mass ejections will degrade OFF THE HOOK's signal! * We'll do that ourselves and eject THEIR ass while we're at it! * OFF THE HOOK, the Radio Force that stands up to the wimpy meddling of unhip celestial bodies transmits its HEAVENLY PROGRAMMING on KXSF 102.5FM /  https://kxsf.fm/

RACING INTO THE DARK:  As much as we wish to leave this cruddy year, the road ahead looks CHALLENGING and uncertain, to say the least! * Besides, the devil we knew had some GOOD JAMS! * But, there will always be good jams! * And they will always be heard on OFF THE HOOK, the Show That Shows that as we laugh in the face of CERTAIN DEATH, so will we not DANCE AWAY from our responsibility to rock you, roll you and expand your minds on this little station that can! * Long live KXSF, San Francisco, Planet Earth!  We don't deserve you! * Huddle with us in MERRY ABANDON on the Final Off THE HOOK of 2023! https://kxsf.fm/

Less a dollop, more a sprinkle of HOLIDAY CHEER on Today's OFF THE HOOK! * For, as the gate of Winter Solstice has opened the celestial skyways for a certain HOARY-HIRSUTE GEEZER to come storming past our chimneys, flinging joy and GLAD TIDINGS, we wrap ourselves in his Snowy Beard and SHIVER with the knowledge that this man is a MYTH! * And while a Myth is not necessarily an Untruth, we dare not utter the "C word" when the "L word" is the greater point of the Season! * OFF THE HOOK: a listenable myth on KXSF 102.5FM /  https://kxsf.fm/

OFF THE HOOK fishes not from stagnant pools, but from raging rivers teeming with FRESH SOUND specimens which gladly leap into our nets! * But we're gonna need some extra hands (read ears) to quell this inundation, lest the ceaseless swelling stream wells up over the banks! * Every guest at the banquet is requested to bring a friend hungry for the LATEST AURAL cuisine! * (We'll be also uncorking some VINTAGE SPIRITS in the Birthday Segment!) * This is no time to SCALE back!  Join us at the table on KXSF 102.5FM /  https://kxsf.fm/ * FIN

Like the INTREPID explorer, OFF THE HOOK seeks out, finds and presents to you the RARE AND EPHEMERAL! * The lifespan of some of these musical species are so short-lived they resemble the poor mayfly! * And while these FLASHES OF SOUND are born every minute, flitting and dying right under our noses, YOUR MOST DEDICATED RESEARCHER is willing and able to record their existence, snatching from oblivion these elusive critters! * OFF THE HOOK captures their fleeting traces for your delirious delectation on KXSF 102.5FM / https://kxsf.fm/

HEY! * Whatcha doin' at 1:00? * Howzabout we get together for a LISTENING SESH? * I've got a buncha KILLER NEW TUNES to play ya! * Yeah, and we can CELEBRATE some musical BIRTHDAYS, too! * You got a radio or computer, right? * OK, then! * BYO at your place for OFF THE HOOK on KXSF 102.5 / https://kxsf.fm/