Do the words self-care inspire you or do they feel empty? The idea of self-care has become a commodity, a marketing position for products and activities. We can turn to Google for ideas about how to best check this box for ourselves. We can also turn inward and listen to what we truly need, what parts of ourselves are asking for, and even begging for our attention. We have different perspectives on self-care and what it means to us. Is it the latest buzzword that's gained traction during the COVID years? Is it grounded in practice and deep reflection? Do we need other words to describe these activities? In this episode, we share what the idea of self-care means to us and our path of learning to listen to the whispers of what we need. It's about noticing. It's intentional. It's about grace. It's a daily practice.

Do the same lessons keep crossing your path? Is this irritating? If you're shaking your head yes or shrugging your shoulders, you are not alone. Not all lessons are learned the first time around. It doesn't mean we're not paying attention, it means that each time the lesson shows up, we deepen our knowledge & skills to navigate it. We become more nimble each time. Yes, it's frustrating to think that we've figured it out only to have it come back AGAIN. The frustration can be a messenger if we choose to see it that way. It can be our way of polishing, and fine-tuning our skills. The question then becomes, how can the latest version of a familiar lesson be helpful? Tune in and listen to our thoughts!

Head in the sand and spiral or an invitation to the table? When self-doubt creeps in and our inner dialogue takes an unhelpful turn, there's a choice to be made. Launch into the depths of shame, blame, and guilt (we ALL do this from time to time), or negotiate a truce and interrupt the spinning. At times, it's hard to know that we've launched into this place. Our body, mind, and emotions are trying to get our attention- we just haven't listened to the signals. How we shift from the story we tell ourselves to what's real is the place to begin. We are wise humans and these moments show up for us all of the time too! We are stopped in our tracks and listen to the doubts and the harsh inner dialogue. How do we climb out of it so we experience the good - great - amazing stuff that comes after? Tune in and find out!

Have you noticed that the good stuff arrives after the bumps, faceplants, and struggles? How do the bumpy phases show up- physically, mentally, emotionally, or a glorious combination of ALL three? Both of us have walked some bumpy & rocky roads recently in our personal and professional lives. We've made it to the other side by asking a powerful question (one that typically gets us out of our heads and into that soul, knowing place). Who do I want to be in the midst of this experience? A stress ball - - a nervous wreck - - thoughtful - - coming from grace - - cynical - - hopeful - - from a scarcity or an abundance mindset? There are COUNTLESS ways to answer this question, and sometimes it's a messy mash-up of many responses.

Life moves right along until it doesn't.  We are in a groove until we are no longer.  We keep stress at bay until it stops us in our tracks.  We are in motion, productive, efficient, ticking items off of our to-do lists until our mind or body has a different plan.  Does this sound familiar?  It’s in our ability to pivot- to shift gears, to change the direction that is our greatest superpower. Recently, both of us had growing moments (the uncomfortable times) when we needed to USE the tools we have to walk through stress and overwhelm that we could no longer ignore.  Are we broken?  No.   Are we at that growing edge- that time of choice during which we opt to notice where we are and decide if this is where we want to remain?  Yes. Here's the ninja move- the balance we seek is within.  At times, drenched in stress, angst, and overwhelm.  We can air it out and find our way forward with grace and self-compassion.

How did you define intimacy, sex, and pleasure in your 20's?  How much different are your definitions after 40? Our experience with perimenopause, ricocheting hormones, fluctuating moods, and inconsistent energy is one thing that brought us together as best friends and soul sisters. Ok, it WAS also a catalyst for starting this podcast! When we took this conversation to the next level- how this stage of life shifted (and impacted) our relationship with our bodies and our relationships with others, it was clear that this is an opportunity to find our voice. Many of us suffer in silence when it comes to intimacy, sex, and pleasure after 40- afraid to ask for what we need, share what we want, and be open about what we desire. We’re opening up this conversation, bringing in a guest to share another perspective, and candidly sharing our stories of stepping into awkward and vulnerable conversations that deepened our relationships.

With December days passing quickly and 2023 fast approaching, we know that 90% of New Year's Resolutions are in the dumpster in the first 10 days.  The question then becomes, why set ourselves up for angst and self-criticism? We opt to welcome deep questions that help us consider where we’ve been and get excited about our next destination. We reflect on what worked well and those things that did not serve us as intended or hoped.   Ok, we ALSO take time to celebrate accomplishments and triumphs because there is ALWAYS more than we think (when we get quiet enough to listen).  As we look to 2023, we are focused on creating a life full of gratitude, kindness, and grace toward ourselves and others. The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written.  Hope smiles from the threshold of the new year, whispering.... "It will be all that you desire it to be".

Have the meaning of the holidays and how you celebrate changed as you get older?  The holiday season is jam-packed with events, activities, responsibilities, and traditions.  We realized that our intentions have shifted, how we celebrate has evolved, and that we're very much creatures of habit.   It can be a back & forth of wanting to gather and craving quiet time.  It can be a time of joyous celebration & a time of grief bubbling up, loneliness coming to visit, and simply doing our best to get through.  As we gain life experience (aka get older), what's clear is that we can create the holiday experience that we desire and need.  Yes, this creates opportunities to set or reclaim boundaries amidst all the glitz, glam, hustle, bustle, and energy of the season.

Have you ever stumbled into a moment only to realize that your assumptions are way off-base?  This happened to us in a recent conversation around relationships- how we show up, how we define them, what we seek, and what we desire.  Over a cup of coffee, we sorted out the messages that create the lens through which we see, how we find ourselves, and how we create something that is all our own.  The agency within us can shift ALL of these things. What do we want, desire, seek, and envision?   What path will we create for ourselves?  Does it matter if it's a different one from those around us?

Have you gotten excited about where you are in life only to hear those quiet, critical inner voices chime in and rain on your progress?  What is THAT all about?  Is it our brains trying to keep us safe and comfortable, which means not really growing or expanding, or the acknowledgment that OLD, REALLY OLD messages from early in life have seeped into our cells and are still present?  It can be BOTH of these and more!  The more we grow and evolve, the more determined our critter brain becomes to keep us exactly where we are.  The more comfortable we get in our own skin and with our full, whole, complete selves, the more uncomfortable people in our lives can become because we are growing, changing, and shifting.  Can we arrive at a place of taking expectations, messages, and assumptions from others as guides instead of the law of how it has (or is "supposed") to be?

We dance, or have a tug of war, with a desire to be acknowledged, seen, and heard with, at times, wanting to blend into the crowd and not stand out.  Are these competing ideas or can they complement each other? Invisibility creeps in when we feel insecure, fearful, or question our belief in ourselves. As we've gotten wiser and added life experience (ok, gotten older), the challenge of this dance has, thankfully, become smoother. We learn to honor the human need to be seen and heard. The beauty of journeying through midlife is greater awareness when we are our biggest obstacle and shifting to a place of choosing how we move forward.

Are you living in the land of compare & despair or standing in your own light? The two of us travel between both of these worlds and know them WELL!  What became crystal clear for us is knowing who we are, embracing that person, and nurturing the relationship with ourselves ('cuz it's an inside job that is ALL ours). Our journey is walking towards a place of celebrating what we've learned, being discerning about what we accept as truth, knowing that we are complete (glorious imperfections and all), and leaving the judgments behind. It's not always easy.  It is definitely worth the daily effort. In this episode, we delve into the beauty myths that still circle the globe (REALLY, it's 2022?!?), the ceilings that now have cracks in them, and the double standards of aging. We reflect on the evolution of our expectations of ourselves and how stepping beyond what's comfortable to reach high is the goal.

It's easy to get swept up by the uncertainty, chaos, and negativity that surrounds us.   It's easy to function in survival mode and can be a struggle to find the green pastures of peace.  It's REALLY easy to dive down the rabbit hole of crisis mode, internalizing the chaos, amplified emotions that are far beyond our control, and drink from the cup of the sky is falling. Yep, those Chicken Little moments are REAL.   If we do what's easy, learning how to be a masterful whirling dervish is where we live.  That space is exhausting & takes a toll.   In this episode, we uncover the complexities of connections during tenuous times, when we need to step back & take space, and how to sort through the noise to keep our feet on the ground.

Are you a cliff jumper or one who prefers to keep their feet on the ground? Both are wonderful and distinctive in their own ways.  When we were growing up, career paths was very linear. You landed a job, started a career that spanned your professional life, then retired. The idea of changing careers, and shifting your focus was MOST DEFINITELY. the exception rather than the rule. Choices were not in abundance and change was foreign. Today it's more common to change your career several times, and reinvent yourself along the way.  Thanks to technology and honestly to a global pandemic, there are so MANY more options and ways to work- at an office, from home, a hybrid, and likely more that have yet to discover. We have evolved, our identity and passions have shifted, and we embraced the courage within to make our dreams come true.  At its most basic level, it is walking through the door that takes us outside our comfort zones. We choose to overcome our fears which empowers us to succeed with an adventurous spirit.

Have your inner conversations changed as you've grown older, wiser, and added more life experience?  Ours have made seismic shifts since our 20s!  We are two women who live well, and we are creating the best possible lives for ourselves. We've been on a journey through the decades adapting to countess challenges. We graduated high school in the 80s with BIG hair, all things neon, and headed off to college. As friends got married and started families, the pressure increased to follow their lead. As colleagues earned promotions, the pressure increased to follow their lead. As we gained wisdom, our priorities shifted. We discovered places where our hearts and minds didn't match. Ok, truth be told they didn't play well together in the sandbox!  We navigated the arrival and departure of hormones. Ok, this one is IN PROCESS ...  We channeled the courage to step out and forge a new path. How we saw ourselves shifted and we became our greatest champions.

Hard work pays off I'll sleep when I'm dead Money doesn't grow on trees Do any of these sound familiar?  Are these or other messages around money and work driving you today?   You're not alone if you're nodding your head and smirking a little.   When we are young, we are sponges and absorb information from EVERY direction. As our wisdom deepens, we may notice the messages around money and work ethic that come from our families, communities, and individuals.    It can be COMPLICATED to unravel these messages because we don't always realize how they show up in our adult lives. We're taught that being on the go, CONSTANTLY, is what we need to do in order to achieve success.  We're taught that working hard creates a good life. We're taught working long hours is the path to leadership, accolades, and wealth. What happens when we write a different story?  What happens when we slow down enough to realize that all the running has us exhausted, frustrated, and missing out on some of life's precious moments? In this episode, we reveal some of our own compulsions to push, grind and go.  We also share what it costs us and how we FINALLY decided to choose a different story.

Are we all destined for a midlife crisis or do we GET to create the life we want to live? In this episode, we dive into and challenge some of the powerful external messages around what happens after 40. For some, it's a time of embracing consistency and staying the course. For others, it's a time of exploration, anticipation, and the urge to make BIG changes. For all of us, it is a time of transformation in our bodies, minds, and spirits- even if we have no idea that this transformation is underway. If you want to step away from the "I should, I must, everyone expects me to....." life and into one that is grounded in what's possible, check out our latest episode.

Two women navigating midlife by being unapologetically themselves.  All topics are on the table and each conversation comes to you with radical honesty and candor behind it.  Starting a new career, the evolution of relationships, the adventure of perimenopause and menopause, giving ourselves permission to write new chapters while learning along the way.  This is about our midlife calling, not a midlife crisis.  When you are called, how will you answer?

Are your emotions ALL over the place?  Do your moods swing faster than a door?  This could simply be a bad day, a hungry belly, or a thirsty body.  Another possibility is a BIG shift in hormones because you are in the midst of the adventure of perimenopause or menopause.   Join us for a candid and empathetic conversation, and our first episode of MidLife Calling, where we share some common indicators of hormonal imbalance (related and unrelated to this stage of life) AND our #1 challenge with hormonal changes.