It’s episode 285! And I’d rather kill myself than work here. Stopmotion (2024) tells the story of Ella, a Stopmotion Artist, who is pouring her heart and soul into creating something truly outstanding. Stepping out from her Stopmotion Artist mother’s shadow, Ella is tempted by opportunities to be a Stopmotion Artist at an advertising agency, urged to slow her down her Stopmotion Artist lifestyle - but it may just be too little too late. We talk about the productivity-gains that come from slowing down; the commercial impact of using rotten meat girls to advertise your products; and thoughts of Nick Park sharing a hovel with Wallace and Gromit. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Next time on Patreon.com/howtosurvivepod, it’s The Green Knight!

It's Episode 284 and congratulations to Emma Jones in Monkeys Running the Zoo III. Candyman (1992) tells the story of Helen, a grad-student investigating urban legends - or more specifically one urban legend about 'Candyman' - a hook-handed slasher who appears if you say his name five times in a mirror - and promptly disembowels you. Not much of an incentive to summon him overall, but what a premise! We talk about correct police procedures; optimal concussion care; and rubbish foreplay - all before alighting on one major question: how would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: We're going to Disneyland! Find more episodes at patreon.com/howtosurvivepod.  See you next month!

It's Episode 283 and congratulations to Repeat Repeat in Monkeys Running the Zoo III.   When Evil Lurks (2023) tells the story of brothers Pedro and Jaime. When a neighbour in their rural town comes down with a case of Demonic Possession, they begin a series of increasingly desperate (and ill-advised) methods to contain the monster before it can wreak havoc.   We talk about inadequate public health messaging; the wonders of modern technology; and the benefits of keeping a low profile.   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Evil loves children. And children love evil.   Next up: Deadstream (2022) over at Patreon.com/howtosurvivepod

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 282...and a shower and a change of clothes wouldn't hurt.   Shin Godzilla (2016) serves as a rebooting of the classic Japan-set Godzilla movies in the modern day. When a gigantic monster emerges from the sea, the slow-moving cogs of Japan's bureaucratic machinery begin to turn, but in the face of a walking natural disaster and threats of international military action, can a crack team of weirdos band together to save the day?   We discuss a kaiju movie through as seen through the eyes of incompetent politicians, monsters of scale with atomic scales, put forward two opposing views on the fun and frustrations of seeing political machinations rather than a big dinosaur and discuss turning the world's biggest frozen lizard into a tourist attraction.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: There is no precedent.   Next time, if you're a Patreon, it's February's bonus pick with Dog Soldiers (2002), otherwise we'll be back in a few weeks' time for Godzilla Minus One (2023).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 281...and I'M GONNA BE A STAR AND THE WHOLE WORLD'S GONNA KNOW MY NAME!   Pearl (2022) tells the story of Pearl - a young woman who is unhappily stuck on the family farm while her husband is away at war. Pearl dreams of life as a dancer in the pictures, but must overcome a forebearing mother, ailing father, societal barriers and her own unsettled outlook. We talk about the best way to escape a lumbering axe-wielder, weigh up the risks of germ-loads; and wonder when it's time to just leave.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: What did I do? What is wrong with me? Please just tell me so I can get better.

It's Boxing Day (ish), and that can only mean one thing...These broads would hump the Leaning Tower of Pisa if they could get up there!   Black Christmas (1974) tells the story of a sorority house beset by threatening phone calls in the days before Christmas break. When one of their number go missing, it's a race against time to find her, and the person responsible, but perhaps they should be looking closer to home?   We talk about a film that serves as the origin of the slasher genre and the on-screen debut of a classic horror trope, a set of brilliantly written characters and surprisingly thoughtful politics, critique the performance of incompetent police and share stories of sharing drinking vessels.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I wouldn't wear this to have my liver out!   This film was chosen by two of our lovely patrons - Steve Thone and Clyde Griffiths. If you want to help us decide the films we cover, head to Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod and sign up to unlock bonus episodes, early access and more!   Our next episode, on Pearl, will be out very soon, as we continue to play catch up.   Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

A quick note - our Boxing Day podcast on Black Christmas, and our episode Pearl, will unfortunately be a bit delayed due to illness. Sorry about that.   How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's Christmas Eve, and that can only mean one thing...I thought everything was fine until I saw you last night. Then I knew there must be something between us, even if it's only an ocean.   An Affair To Remember (1957) tells the story of a classic swooning romance between Nickie and Terry, star-crossed lovers who fall in love on a cruise ship and agree to meet at the Empire State Building in 6 months time to be together. But, as we all know, the path to true love is not always straightforward, and one should always look both ways before crossing it.   We break down a romantic drama classic, discuss the exercise regimes of 1950s men, talk about gangplanks, jaywalking and creepy kids, and advise against spiking the camera if you hope to have a long career in film.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   This film was chosen by one of our lovely patrons - Rosie PK. If you want to help us decide the films we cover, head to Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod and sign up to unlock bonus episodes, early access and more!   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Anything can happen, don't you think?   Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 280...and whoever we contacted, they followed us. Talk To Me (2023) follows Mia, a teenager struggling to move on following the overdose-related death of her mother. When her school friends discover how to summon spirits using a mysterious embalmed hand, Mia becomes obsessed with contacting the dead, and even allowing them to take possession of her. What could go wrong? Let us in and hear us talk about the apparent fully-formed arrival of another modern horror classic, discuss a complex navigation of grief and trauma through the medium of head-smashing and eyeball-plucking, ponder whether all drugs definitely contain rat poison, and scrutinise the security policy of Australian hospitals. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I have this recurring where I'm looking in the mirror and my reflection is gone. Like I don't exist. Next time…it’s Chriiiiiiistmaaaaassss…

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 279...and do you believe there is a part of yourself, deep inside in your mind, with things you don't want other people to see?   The Cell (2000) follows the FBI as they pursue nefarious serial killer Carl Rudolph Stargher, who imprisons his victims in glass prisons that will gradually fill with water. When Stargher's capture leaves him comatose, special agent Peter Novak turns to a team of scientists using experimental technology to enter the minds of their subjects. Can child psychologist Catherine Deane invade Stargher's mind and successfully uncover the location of his final victim? Or will she herself become a victim of Stargher's nightmarish mindscape?   We talk about a surprising and underrated gem, break down the interesting career of Tarsem Singh and his artistic points of reference, ask whether Christopher Nolan may have seen the film when drafting early versions of Inception and wonder if the FBI should or shouldn't make use of the experimental brain-diving technology they've discovered.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Mocky-Lock is a pain in the ass.   Next time we're catching up with one of the most talked about horror films of 2023 - Talk to Me.

What could it mean?

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 278...and she locked away a secret, deep inside herself, something she once knew to be true... but chose to forget.   Inception (2010) tells the story of Cobb and his band of extractors--thieves who use dream-sharing technology to break into the subconscious minds of their targets and steal information. Cobb has a dark history and lives in exile from his family, but when a mysterious client offers him the chance to rebuild his life, the opportunity is too good to turn down. In order to succeed, Cobb and his team must successfully implant an organic idea within their subject's mind. This process, thought by some to be impossible, is known as Inception.   We break down one of the best and most-theorised-about science fiction blockbusters of all time; ponder spinning corridors, impossible staircases and dreams within dreams; ask ourselves if Christopher Nolan could probably do with reigning it in a bit; and question whether a simpler option might be to just move your kids to Paris.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.   Next time we're diving into more mindscapes with the Jennifer Lopez horror vehicle The Cell (2000).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Visit Patreon.com/howtosurvivepod! It's episode 277...and I like you... This week's film was chosen by our patron Sam Goff as part of Monkey's Running the Zoo Season II. V/H/S (1995) is an anthology found footage movie, depicting a parade of detestable characters doing detestable things. Across the series of short films we see: a group of daters get more than they bargained for; a honeymooning couple get more than they bargained for; some teenagers at a lake get more than they bargained for; a long-distance couple get more than they bargained for; and a group attending a halloween party get more than they bargained for. We discuss the benefits of not being a creep; the highs and lows of a packed creative experiment; and try to decide whether the film is morally bankrupt or making a political statement (but then again, why not both?). All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: It's a whole lot better to say just a little bit than to say too much and wish you hadn't. You know what I'm saying? Now, don't you be a stranger. I got lots more to say to you. See you on Halloween...

Happy Halloween!

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 277...and John Doe has the upper hand!   This week's film was chosen by our patron Daniel Busby as part of Monkey's Running the Zoo Season II.   Se7en (1995) follows Detectives Mills and Somerset as they hunt down a serial killer committing murders themed around the seven deadly sins. As rain pounds the streets of the worst city in the history of cinema, the Detectives race against time to stop the killer before he completes his nefarious, murderous masterpiece.   We discuss a film that's had a dramatic influence on the horror genre (despite not necessarily being a horror itself), a trio of showstopping performances and one of the most iconic endings of all time, but still find time to critique the attire of a SWAT team, ask whether you should really indulge the whims of a serial killer and wonder why Mills didn't just take the day off to play FIFA.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: This guy's methodical, exacting, and worst of all, patient.   Next time on the main feed in two week's time it's V/H/S (2012), or sign up to our Patreon to hear this month's bonus film: Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 276...and What mess did you get yourself in? Titane (2021) tells the story of Alexia, a young woman who REALLY loves cars. To say much more would be to spoil a film which has to be seen to be believed, but if you want tense, violent and chaotic drama you've come to the right place. We question the wisdom of going to the police when you're on the run from the police; confirm the value of asking for help; and dispense some much-needed strength and conditioning advice to someone who is 100x fitter than both of us combined. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Whatever your twisted reasons for exploiting his fucking folly, I don't care, just take care of him. Next time... TBD. It's Monkeys Running the Zoo II - so get over to Patreon.com/howtosurvivepod to join in the fun!

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 275...and It's really disgusting that you could just sit there, and watch it happen. Like a robot. What's wrong with you? Infinity Pool (2023) sees us join the disaffected writer James Foster on a trip to the paradise island of Li Tolqa. When a drunken misadventure ends in disaster, James discovers the Li Tolqan legal system has a curious loophole – rich tourists can escape capital punishment by paying for a clone to take their place, so long as they watch the execution of their double take place. How will this experience change James, and can he escape the magnetic pull of the mysterious Gabi, a fellow guest at the resort with first-hand experience of Li Tolqan justice. We break down Brandon Cronenberg’s sci-fi horror gem, pay homage to incredible performances from Mia Goth and Alexander Skarsgård, ponder the ethics and meaning of Li Tolqan cloning, dish out some sage wisdom on avoiding white sand brain death and discuss whether getting a clone would help Joe play more PlayStation. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You wake up in that little room, and for all you know, they could've just swapped you out. Hard to say what happened while you were asleep. Next time out it’s another Patreon pick – Rosie PK has chosen Julia Ducournau’s Titane (2021)

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 274...and what touched this place cannot be quantified or understood by human science.   Color out of Space (2019) tells the story of the Gardener family, who have recently left the city to start farming alpacas. As they begin to embrace country life, a meteor lands on their property, bringing with it unseen and unimaginable horrors.   Cosmic Horror season wraps up with the movie that's widely considered to be the best H.P. Lovecraft adaptation. We talk about the benefits of embracing firearms; some straightforward PPE advice; and the failures of a public health official to do even a rudimentary job.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: It came from the stars... where things ain't like they are here.   Jump on Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to suggest what we should cover next!

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 273...and I'm not insane, you hear me! I'M NOT INSANE! In The Mouth Of Madness (1994) tells the story of John Trent, sent to investigate the disappearance of horror novelist Sutter Cane, and recover the manuscript for his latest novel. As an epidemic of violent behaviour spreads across the land, Trent tracks Cane to Hobb’s End, a town previously thought to exist only in Cane’s novels. There, Trent will discover unimaginable horrors that have the potential to rewrite reality in terrible ways. Cosmic Horror season kicks off with a Carpenter love letter to HP Lovecraft. Expect tension and tentacles, madness and monsters, plus an extended discussion of whether or not it’s ok to only give an axe murderer a bucket to use as a toilet. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Every species can sense its own extinction. Next time, Cosmic Horror season continues with The Color Out Of Space (2019).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 272...and I don't like this kind of talk; the things you're saying.   Where exactly do you start with Inland Empire (2006)?   Ostensibly the story of Nikki, an actor cast in a remake of a supposedly cursed film in which the actors were murdered, what follows is a three hour psychological horror tone poem in which fiction and reality repeatedly collide, break down and are rebuilt. Lynch runs the gamut of everything from surreal rabbit sitcoms to surreal Polish neo-realism, with Laura Dern clinging on for dear life at the centre of his artistic hurricane. It might just be a work of genius.   July's David Lynch season concludes with a borderline incomprehensible piece of arthouse cinema as we ask ourselves a series of unanswerable questions: What does it all mean? Is this the ugliest-looking film we've ever watched? How do you survive a painting? Plus, crowbarred comparisons to safer ground as we variously compare it to Mission Impossible and Stewart Lee, and a piece of genuinely scholarly film studies work from one of our patrons.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: This is a story that happened yesterday. But I know it's tomorrow.   Next time out it's Cosmic Horror season, kicking off with John Carpenter's In The Mouth Of Madness (1994).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 271...and I want ya to "think" and stop bein' a smart aleck. Can ya try that for me?   Mulholland Drive (2001) tells the story of Betty, an aspiring actress new to the Hollywood scene who tries to help amnesiac Rita rediscover her identity following a mysterious car crash. Someone appears to be chasing Rita, and mobsters and movie directors might be involved too--what's really going on? Layers of reality unravel in classic Lynch-ian fashion as identities and dreams are deconstructed with tragic results.   The first episode of July's David Lynch season gives us the chance to talk about a genuine cinematic masterpiece, the joy of David Lynch's work on-screen and his real life persona, cows by the side of the road, DVD insert red herrings and, of course, dreams of snail penises.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I'd rather be known as a great actress than a movie star. But, you know, sometimes people end up being both.   Next week it's bonus pod time, with this month's Patreon pick: Fresh (2022).