Forty Drinks: The Podcast About Turning 40

Stephanie McLaughlin

Sometime around your 40th birthday (+/-) you might start feeling like some part of your life no longer fits and you don't know what to do about it. It could be at work or at home - or simply inside of you. You might be asking questions like "how did I get here?" Or, "Is this all there is?" "Is this what I've been working so hard for?" Or, "Why aren't I happier?" I call that feeling "the Ick." I know it was true for me - and I fought against it, which only made it a messier process. But having 40 drinks with 40 people over the course of a year helped me escape the influence of that Ick. On this podcast, I welcome you to tap into my stories and experience - as well as those of my guests - to help you emerge from your own “Ick” – and maybe even avoid some of the mistakes we made along the way. My mission is to make it common cultural knowledge that there IS a transition most of us face around age 40 and then showcase so many versions of that transition that every single person approaching, or recently turned, 40 with dread in their heart, knows that they are not alone. I know you don't want to call it a midlife crisis, so I won't, but "if the glove fits, you must acquit." 😉 read less
Society & CultureSociety & Culture

Episodes

The Difference Between a Midlife Crisis and The Ick
Yesterday
The Difference Between a Midlife Crisis and The Ick
In the first episode of season six of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie McLaughlin delves into the concept of the 'Ick,' a common feeling of discomfort experienced around the age of 40. Unlike the stereotypical midlife crisis, the Ick is characterized by a low-grade unease and a desire for change. Stephanie shares insights from her guests, highlighting seven recurring themes: self-discovery and authenticity, purpose and meaning, personal growth, relationships, health and well-being, career changes, and intuition. This episode explores how these themes mark the transformative journeys individuals undergo during midlife, encouraging listeners to recognize this phase as an opportunity for growth, self-reinvention, and a more fulfilling life.The Difference Between a Midlife Crisis and The IckIn the season six opener, Stephanie dives deep into the midlife transition, or the "Ick" as she affectionately calls it. She shares insights from her own journey and the collective wisdom of over a hundred interviews, aiming to help listeners navigate this transformative period with grace and understanding. She illuminates how to know whether what you’re feeling is an isolated issue or part of the larger midlife transition. She leaves listeners with three takeaways about this period of transition. Whether you're approaching 40, just past it, or curious about this significant life phase, this episode offers valuable perspectives on embracing change and finding fulfillment.Episode Highlights:Understanding the Ick: Stephanie defines the "Ick" as a subtle, often vague feeling of discomfort that signals a misalignment in one’s life, typically occurring around midlife.Themes from Interviews: The episode outlines seven major themes from past guest interviews, including self-discovery, purpose, personal growth, relationships, health, career changes, and intuition.How to diagnose whether what you’re feeling is an isolated issue or part of the larger transition at midlife.  Three takeaways for listeners facing their own Ick: This midlife transition is a normal and natural phase of life. These transitions can be triggered by significant life events or realizations. Midlife is an opportunity for growth, reinvention, and creating a more authentic and fulfilling life.  Stephanie unpacks the complexities of the midlife transition, offering a beacon of understanding and support for anyone experiencing the "Ick." Through engaging stories she provides a roadmap for personal growth and fulfillment during this pivotal life stage. Remember, if you found value in this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone navigating their own midlife journey. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue producing impactful content.01:07 Understanding the Midlife Ick01:29 Defining the Ick04:40 Common Themes of the Midlife Ick04:56 Self Discovery and Authenticity06:08 Purpose and Meaning07:03 Personal Growth and Self Discovery08:45 Impact on Relationships09:50 Health and Well-being10:18 Lifestyle Changes for Wellbeing10:49 Career Changes in Midlife11:40 Trusting Your Intuition13:14 Identifying Midlife Transition Signs16:47 Navigating Midlife Transitions18:16 Embracing Midlife Opportunities18:47 Conclusion and Next StepsDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ickListen, Rate & SubscribeApple Podcasts
Turning 40 and Surviving a High-Conflict Divorce
Sep 18 2024
Turning 40 and Surviving a High-Conflict Divorce
In this compelling episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie sits down with Karen McMahon to delve into the challenges she faced in her marriage and how they transformed her into a stronger, more self-aware individual. Karen discusses her turbulent childhood in an emotionally volatile household, her string of unfulfilling relationships, and the tumultuous marriage that mirrored her parents' dysfunctions. Despite her incredible external successes, Karen's personal relationships were fraught with difficulties, culminating in a rocky marriage characterized by rage and financial instability. She candidly shares her journey through therapy, the decision to divorce, and the harrowing three-and-a-half-year process living with her abusive ex-husband. Guest Bio Karen McMahon is a High Conflict Divorce Strategist, Certified Divorce Coach and Founder of Journey Beyond Divorce. She began divorce coaching in 2010 after recognizing that the pain of her divorce led her on a transformational journey into a powerful and unexpected new life. Karen leads a national team of divorce coaches in supporting men and women around the world to become calm, clear and confident as they navigate divorce. Karen is the host of the acclaimed Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast, and co-author of ‘Stepping out of Chaos: Turning Pain to Possibility” and creator of JBD’s exclusive Divorce 101: Strategic Blueprint for High Conflict Divorce Program.Turning 40 and Surviving a High-Conflict DivorceIn this episode, Stephanie sits down with Karen McMahon, a divorce coach who transformed her high-conflict divorce experience into a beacon of hope for others navigating similar challenges. Karen shares her journey from a high achieving professional with a troubled personal life to finding her true calling helping others through their darkest times. Her story is not just about overcoming, but about using her past to fuel a future filled with purpose and service. Key Highlights:Early Struggles and Realizations: Karen discusses her early success in her professional life contrasted with repeated failures in intimate relationships, stemming from the challenging dynamics in her family of origin.Marriage and Its Challenges: She opens up about her marriage, which seemed promising at first but was riddled with financial troubles and emotional disconnect thanks to a spouse on the narcissism spectrum, leading to her realization of needing change.Therapy and Self Discovery: Karen's turning point came through therapy, where she began to understand the source and depth of her issues and started the hard work of healing and self improvement.Divorce and Its Aftermath: The process of her divorce was long and fraught with conflict, but it was also a period of intense personal growth and transformation.Building a New Life: Post-divorce, Karen found her calling as a divorce coach, helping others navigate their paths through and beyond divorce.Karen’s journey through personal turmoil and professional success is a wonderful example of making lemonade with lemons. Her story is not just one of survival, but of thriving by turning her deepest pain into a profound purpose. This episode is a must listen for anyone facing personal challenges or interested in how personal adversity can lead to a fulfilling and impactful career.If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more inspiring stories like Karen’s to you!Guest ResourcesKaren’s gracious offer for Forty Drinks ListenersReclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space
Turning 40 and Overcoming Cultural Expectations
Sep 9 2024
Turning 40 and Overcoming Cultural Expectations
In this episode, Dhruv Sethi shares his experiences of immigrating from India to Sweden at age six and then moving to London in his 20s. He talks about the cultural and familial expectations of the life path he was supposed to follow, which led to his tumultuous first marriage, the subsequent challenging divorce, and its profound effect on his trust of women and in relationships. As a result, Dhruv embarked on a journey of introspection in his late 30s, eventually turning to meditation, yoga, and self-healing to open his heart and embrace a new chapter in his life. Guest Bio Dhruv Sethi: Midlife has profoundly reshaped me. After my turbulent first marriage, I approach London's dating scene with newfound understanding and resilience. Previously swayed by Redpill ideologies, a pivotal breakup transformed my outlook. Now, I cherish and celebrate feminine energy.My spirituality has deepened too. Viewing life as a battleground between good and evil, I'm driven to share insights through my podcast, "Midlife Masculine." Through it all, I've learned to value love, understanding, and empathy more than ever. Let's journey together through life's twists and turns, liberated from the ordinary.Turning 40 and Overcoming Cultural ExpectationsIn this enlightening episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, host Stephanie sits down with Dhruv Sethi, the voice behind the Midlife Masculine Podcast. Dhruv shares his transformative journey through the trials of a tumultuous marriage and messy divorce, the personal growth and self-discovery that reshaped his approach to life and how it changed his relationships in his forties. From the bustling streets of London, Dhruv delves into the cultural pressures and expectations of his early life, the pivotal moments that led to his midlife awakening, and how he's using his experiences to guide other men through similar transitions.Key Highlights:Dhruv's early life transition from India to Sweden and eventually to London, highlighting the cultural and personal shifts that shaped his early decisions.The breakdown of his first marriage and the profound impact it had on his views towards women, relationships and personal growth.Dhruv's journey into self-awareness, which began with meditation and expanded into a broader exploration of spirituality and personal development.The creation of the Midlife Masculine Podcast, a platform for men navigating midlife transitions, emphasizing growth, understanding, and community.Dhruv's insights on the importance of listening, the power of meditation, and embracing a non-judgmental approach towards oneself and others.His current outlook on relationships and his hopes for the future, including his desire to form a family grounded in the lessons he has learned.Dhruv Sethi’s journey through cultural expectations, personal upheavals, and profound self-discovery highlights the universal themes of resilience and renewal. Dhruv's commitment to helping others navigate their midlife challenges through his podcast adds a layer of community and support that enriches his message. This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing their own transitions or interested in the deeper shifts that often come with midlife.If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the Forty Drinks Podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more inspiring stories like Dhruv's to light.Guest ResourcesConnect with Dhruv on InstagramMidlife Masculine Podcast"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der KolkDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this
Turning Forty and Rediscovering JOY Through Play
Aug 22 2024
Turning Forty and Rediscovering JOY Through Play
Today, Stephanie chats with Yvonne Marchese, host of the Late Bloomer Living podcast, about her journey of self-discovery and transition at midlife. Yvonne shares her story, from pursuing her early dreams of a theater career in New York until she realized at 35 that it just didn’t feel as fun as it used to. She talks about her struggles, including an identity crisis, career shifts, and bouts of depression. By adopting small habits, like waking up an hour earlier, Yvonne managed to transform her life, leading to her successful career in photography and the creation of her podcast. The conversation highlights the importance of playfulness and trusting oneself during midlife transitions.Guest Bio Yvonne Marchese is the host of the Late Bloomer Living Podcast, and author of In Full Bloom: A Guide to Aging Playfully. She is a roller skating, paddle boarding “Age Agitator” who believes that midlife is filled with possibility, that it’s never too late to pursue a dream and that the stories we tell ourselves have tremendous power in our lives. She is on a mission to help people rethink and redefine what’s possible as we age. She is also the President of the Age Agitators Club for women.Turning Forty and Rediscovering JOY Through PlayToday, Stephanie sits down with Yvonne Marchese, a vibrant storyteller who shares her journey through the tumultuous waves of midlife. Yvonne pursued a stage career in the theater in New York City for many years, but around age 35 she realized it just wasn't as much fun anymore. Her journey to find another fulfilling career, and her path to motherhood, took her from her mid-30s into her 40s. By the time she was in her mid-40s, she was a frazzled mom, at least a little depressed, and working to get a small business off the ground. But changing just one thing – strangely, getting up an hour earlier each day – shifted many other things in her life for the better.  Her compelling narrative navigates through identity crises, career changes, and the quest for personal fulfillment.Episode Highlights:Yvonne's early dreams of acting and how a childhood trip to New York set the stage for her future.The challenges of maintaining a marriage with differing lifestyles and the eventual pursuit of her true passion in New York.The pivotal moment of realizing her marriage was a misstep and her brave decision to move to New York to chase her acting dreams.Transitioning from acting to photography as Yvonne sought a more stable and fulfilling lifestyle while starting a family.The profound impact of hitting the "snooze button" on life and how a simple change in morning routine catalyzed a significant transformation in her personal and professional life.Yvonne's venture into podcasting, driven by a desire to share stories and inspire others navigating midlife transitions.Yvonne illustrates the unpredictable yet rewarding journey of reinvention that many of us encounter around our 40s. Her story is not just about changing careers but also about rediscovering oneself and finding joy in new beginnings. Whether it's acting, photography, or podcasting, Yvonne embraces each phase of her life with enthusiasm and learns to prioritize her happiness and wellbeing. This episode is a powerful reminder that midlife is not a crisis but an opportunity for growth and new adventures.If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the Forty Drinks Podcast. Your feedback helps us grow and continue bringing inspiring stories like Yvonne's to light!Guest ResourcesLate Bloomer LivingYvonne Marchese Photography Yvonne’s book:
Turning 40 and Burning It All to the Ground
Aug 16 2024
Turning 40 and Burning It All to the Ground
Today, Lauren Schenck shares her brave journey from being trapped in a toxic, narcissistic marriage to rebuilding her life and discovering self-love in her 40s. Lauren recounts the challenges she faced as a solo parent, navigating through divorce while 3,000 miles away from family and friends. Her story takes us through the hurdles of identifying narcissistic abuse, reclaiming passions like yoga and nutrition, and finding herself again after enduring years of emotional turmoil. This episode is a powerful reminder of the importance of self-care, inner strength, and the transformative power of making conscious, healing choices.Guest Bio Lauren Schenck is a Holistic Wellness Coach, Yoga Teacher, Crystal Healer, Sound Healer, and Meditation enthusiast. She believes in a holistic approach to life and health and strives to help others find their ideal balance for mind, body, and spirit. After her divorce in 2014 and with 2 small children to raise on her own, she turned to crystals, nutrition, yoga, and mindfulness practices to not only rebuild her life but also rebuild herself into the whole, happy, and healthy woman, mom, NEW WIFE, and teacher that she is today. Nothing makes her happier than helping others do the same.Turning 40 and Burning It All to the GroundIn this episode, Stephanie sits down with Lauren Schenck, who transformed her life after leaving a toxic and abusive marriage. Lauren shares her journey of reclaiming her identity, her struggles as a solo parent, and the steps she took towards personal healing and empowerment. This episode is a profound exploration of resilience, self-love, and the power of making bold life choices.Episode HighlightsLeaving a Toxic Relationship: Lauren discusses the pivotal moment she decided to leave her narcissistic and abusive ex-husband, taking her two young children with her.Solo Parenting Challenges: She opens up about the difficulties and triumphs of being a solo parent, moving across the country, and starting anew.Healing and Self-Discovery: Lauren shares how therapy, yoga, and nutrition played crucial roles in her healing process and helped her rediscover her passions.Finding Love Again: The heartwarming story of how Lauren met her current husband, Justin, and how they built a healthy relationship together.Empowerment through Education: Lauren talks about going back to school for nutrition and yoga teacher training, emphasizing the importance of personal growth and self-care.The Power of Self-Love: A deep dive into how learning to love herself changed Lauren's life and relationships for the better.Today's episode is a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit and the transformative power of self-love and determination. Lauren's story is not just about escaping a harmful situation but about thriving beyond it, creating a fulfilling life for herself and her children, and finding true love. Her journey reminds us that it's never too late to change your life's path and that healing is possible with the right tools and support.If you found inspiration in Lauren's story, please consider rating, following, and reviewing our podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more empowering stories like this to you!Guest ResourcesConnect with Lauren on Facebook Connect with Lauren on InstagramVisit Lauren's website for wellness, nutrition, yoga and more.Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise.
Turning 40 and Getting Healthy after Being Raised in a Cult
Aug 7 2024
Turning 40 and Getting Healthy after Being Raised in a Cult
Today, Stephanie sits down with Shana Francesca, who shares her harrowing journey through a traumatic childhood raised inside an evangelical Christian cult. Shana's talks about growing up in an environment where curiosity was punished, intuition was stifled, and survival required constant self-protection. She discusses her path to breaking free at 26, learning to trust herself, and discovering what a healthy relationship looks like. The conversation also explores Shana's transition into adulthood, her professional evolution, and the poignant realization that she needed to give language to her personal values and align them with her business aspirations. As Stephanie and Shana uncover the parallels in their respective transformative journeys, they highlight the importance of autonomy, self-trust, and finding one’s voice.Guest Bio Shana Francesca is a speaker and consultant. Her work centers around the fact that we become infinitely more impactful as leaders when we understand our organization as an ecosystem we are meant to foster as a bubble of life.Turning 40 and Getting Healthy after Being Raised in a CultIn this deeply moving episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie sits down with Shana Francesca, a survivor of an evangelical Christian cult, who shares her harrowing journey from a controlled and abusive childhood to finding her voice and establishing her values in midlife. Shana's story is not just about survival; it's a testament to the power of self-discovery, the importance of nurturing one's intuition, and the transformative impact of defining personal and professional values. Join us as Shana opens up about the challenges she faced and how they shaped her into the advocate for ethical leadership and community she is today.Key Highlights:Surviving a Cult: Shana discusses her upbringing in an abusive household within a cult, highlighting the lack of personal freedom and the severe consequences of curiosity.Early Signs of Resistance: From as young as three, Shana exhibited signs of resistance, including running away from home, signaling her deep-rooted awareness of the dangers in her environment.Journey to Self-Trust: Shana shares her path to trusting her intuition, which was crucial in her escape and subsequent independence from the cult at the age of 26.Redefining Faith and Identity: A significant part of Shana's transformation involved reevaluating her religious beliefs and ultimately stepping away from organized religion to embrace a more personal and inclusive spirituality.Establishing Core Values: Shana talks about the importance of defining clear personal and business values, which guide her current work as a consultant focusing on ethical leadership and community building.Empowerment through Language: The power of language in shaping and expressing one's identity and values is a central theme, as Shana emphasizes how articulating her values has empowered her and others.Today's episode with Shana not only explores the depths of overcoming a controlled and abusive upbringing but also celebrates the heights one can reach through self-awareness, resilience, and ethical leadership. Shana's journey is a powerful reminder of the strength found in reclaiming one's story and the importance of community in personal and professional realms. Her insights into the significance of nurturing intuition and establishing clear values offer valuable lessons for anyone navigating their own midlife transformations.If you found inspiration in Shana's story and our discussion, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the Forty Drinks Podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more compelling stories and transformative insights to light.Guest ResourcesConnect with Shana on Facebook
Turning 40 and Healing From Parental Kidnapping as a Baby
Aug 1 2024
Turning 40 and Healing From Parental Kidnapping as a Baby
In this moving episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, host Stephanie McLaughlin talks with Rita Bliven about her tumultuous early life, marked by a messy parental divorce, being kidnapped by her father, and reunion with her mother. This early instability led to deep attachment issues that shaped Rita's relationships and personal growth. Rita shares how therapeutic counseling in her teens, reconnecting with her Mexican family in her twenties, and her spiritual experiences contributed to her ongoing healing journey. Through perseverance and self-awareness, Rita found love and built a family, emphasizing the importance of connection and attachment in parenting her stepdaughter. Despite late fulfillment in love and career, Rita contemplates the 'what-ifs' of her life's timeline, ultimately expressing gratitude for her transformative journey.Guest Bio Rita Bliven suffered from a debilitating avoidant attachment style or disorder due to an international parental kidnapping. Much of her adult life has been spent learning about attachment theory, the different attachment styles, the traumas that cause attachment issues, and attachment healing. Rita chronicles her healing journey in her upcoming book, Canyons & Fireworks. In sharing her story, Rita hopes to inspire others to explore their own attachment styles so that true identity, purpose, and intimacy can flourish.Turning 40 and Healing From Parental Kidnapping as a BabyIn this episode, Stephanie sits down with Rita Bilven, a woman who navigates the complexities of attachment issues stemming from a tumultuous childhood. By the time she was three, Rita had been kidnapped twice by her parents. The first time, her father abducted her and brought her to Mexico. Two years later, her mother lured her father back to California, kidnapped Rita back and moved cross country. Rita shares her journey of healing and self-discovery, which led her to reconnect with her estranged father and embrace her Mexican heritage. Her story is a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of understanding and addressing one's past.Episode Highlights:Early Childhood Trauma: Rita discusses her early experiences of being kidnapped by her father and the subsequent legal and emotional battles that shaped her childhood. Attachment Theory: Rita explains how attachment theory played a crucial role in understanding her struggles with relationships and self-identity. Reconnecting with Her Roots: The emotional recount of Rita's journey to reconnect with her father and her Mexican family, which brought significant healing and understanding. Personal and Spiritual Growth: Insights into how personal development and spirituality have guided Rita through her healing process. Marriage and Family Life: Rita opens up about meeting her husband later in life and how they've built a strong, loving relationship, including the importance of connection and attachment in parenting her stepdaughter.Writing as Healing: Rita shares how writing helped her process her experiences and aided her healing journey.Rita's story is a reminder of the importance of confronting our past to shape a happier, healthier future and the enduring strength of love. Her experiences with attachment issues, cultural identity, and personal growth are interwoven with practical insights into overcoming adversity. Whether you're dealing with similar issues or just looking for an inspiring story of transformation, this episode offers valuable lessons on resilience, love, and healing.If you enjoyed this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, please be sure to rate, follow, and review. Your feedback helps us bring more inspiring stories like Rita's to light!Guest Resources
From Fenway to Forever: Celebrating 30 Years of Friendship
Jul 24 2024
From Fenway to Forever: Celebrating 30 Years of Friendship
In the 100th episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie welcomes her longtime friend Adrian Walker for a heartfelt and reflective conversation. They reminisce about their first meeting at Fenway Park in 1991, tracing the evolution of their enduring friendship and the significant life transitions they've experienced. Adrian shares insights into his career as a journalist, including impactful projects and his journey into sobriety, which reshaped his personal and professional life. They also delve into Adrian's recent venture into podcasting with the successful "Murder in Boston" series. Throughout the episode, they explore themes of aging, transformation, and the sustaining power of friendship. Join Stephanie and Adrian as they celebrate this milestone episode with stories of past adventures and the lessons they've learned along the way.Guest Bio Adrian Walker writes a twice-weekly column, focusing on politics and local news. A native of Miami, he joined the Globe in 1989 as a general assignment reporter, after three years at the Miami News. Walker was a member of the Globe Spotlight Team that was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize for local reporting in 2018 for the series “Boston. Race. Image.Reality.” He is a frequent  commentator on political and social justice issues - including the Netflix documentary “Trial 4” - and was the host of the Globe’s award-winning nine-part podcast “Murder in Boston” on the Stuart murder case. He was the Globe’s City Hall bureau chief, State House reporter and deputy political editor before becoming a Metro columnist in 1998. He was named an Associate Editor of the Globe in 2021.From Fenway to Forever: Celebrating 30 Years of FriendshipEpisode 100: A Journey Through the Decades: Friendship and Transformation with Adrian WalkerIn this milestone 100th episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie sits down with her long-time friend and esteemed journalist, Adrian Walker. They dive deep into their shared past, exploring the pivotal moments that have defined their friendship since 1991. Adrian opens up about his transformative journey through his 40s, discussing his career highlights, personal growth, and the profound impact of sobriety on his life.Episode Highlights:Memorable Meeting: Adrian and Stephanie reminisce about their first encounter at Fenway Park in 1991, marking the beginning of a decades-long friendship.Career Milestones: Adrian shares his experiences of landing his dream job at 36 and the significant projects he has worked on, including a Pulitzer Prize-nominated series on racism in Boston.Sobriety and Self-Discovery: Adrian discusses his decision to become sober and how it has reshaped his perspective and lifestyle.Podcasting Venture: Adrian talks about his role as the host of the successful podcast "Murder in Boston," detailing the challenges and rewards of this new medium.Reflections on Aging and Friendship: Both Stephanie and Adrian reflect on the nature of aging, the impact of milestone birthdays, and the reasons their friendship has endured over three decades.Today’s episode is a heartfelt reflection on friendship, change, and the milestones that come with aging. Stephanie and Adrian’s conversation provides an intimate look at the dynamics of a long-lasting friendship and the personal transformations that often accompany life’s second act. Their stories remind us of the importance of connection, resilience, and embracing change at any stage of life.If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the Forty Drinks Podcast. Your feedback helps us grow and continue bringing you engaging content each week!Guest ResourcesConnect with Adrian on X
Turning 40 and Going on 50 First Dates
Jul 16 2024
Turning 40 and Going on 50 First Dates
Julie Hutsell-Starling was in her mid 30s and in the middle of a toxic relationship she couldn’t extract herself from when she heard a song that changed everything. It was the catalyst to finally leave this relationship and start the healing process. When she started dating again, she was so clear on what she wanted that the dates were actually interviews. After roughly 50 first dates she met the man she would eventually marry. Now that she had found a wonderful, loving relationship, it ignited the spark inside her to find something that was as good a fit in the professional realm as her relationship was in the personal realm.Guest Bio Since 2000, Dr. Julie Hutsell-Starling, DACM, L.Ac has been discovering, studying, and experiencing the mind/body connection and multiple energetic modalities that allow you to tap into your body’s innate sense of balance, health, and well-being.Her personal journey started when she was just 27 and diagnosed with chronic pain. While healing herself, she discovered acupuncture and Chinese Medicine, which she found helpful with the pain and more importantly, helped her get to the root cause of the pain, which has kept it from returning all these years. Importantly, her career has also been her greatest teacher. She struggled with burnout off and on for years in private acupuncture practice no matter how much self-care she did, and it wasn’t until she understood the real root cause of the burnout, that the symptoms finally went away and have stayed away. Dr. Julie loves to guide her clients to get to the root cause of their challenges. When you address the root cause instead of chasing the symptoms, that is how you find true healing, and how you re-find the creativity, joy, inspiration, ease, and flow in your work, your relationships, and in your life. Dr. Julie teaches her clients self-healing techniques they can use daily or anytime they need, because she is passionate about putting the power and control back in their hands, and guiding them to connect with their intuition and inner knowing that has been there all along to reclaim their highest healing.Dr. Julie is a Doctor of Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine, a Certified Health Coach, a Soul Realignment Akashic Records Practitioner, and a Kundalini Yoga Teacher. She has been working with patients/clients since 2005 and has worked with thousands of patients and coaching clients in private practice. Dr. Julie lives in Beaufort, NC on the beautiful Crystal Coast, with her husband and three kitties.Turning 40 and Going on 50 First DatesIn this week’s episode, Stephanie sits down with Julie Hutsell-Starling, who learned to love herself  and then redefined her romantic life and career in midlife. Julie shares her raw and touching story of growing up with an alcoholic mother, battling through toxic relationships, and ultimately finding her true self and love. Her journey is not just about overcoming, but about thriving and rediscovering her passion in a way that aligns with her true self.Episode HighlightsJulie discusses her challenging childhood with an alcoholic and abusive mother, which shaped her early years and self-perception.She opens up about her journey through toxic relationships, including a pivotal moment that led her to end a particularly damaging relationship.Julie's transformative experience in Italy as a foreign exchange student that opened her eyes to different ways of living and loving.Julie's inspiring story of meeting her husband, how online dating played a role, and the intuitive moment she knew she had found her true companion.The significant impact of a career in acupuncture, how burnout led her to reevaluate her life, and the eventual shift towards a practice that aligns more closely with her soul’s purpose.The evolution of her professional...
Pod Swap with Family Twist
Jun 25 2024
Pod Swap with Family Twist
Corey Stulce from the Family Twist podcast hosts a special "pod swap" episode of the Forty Drinks podcast with guest Jordan Elizabeth Braxton. In this engaging conversation, Jordan shares the intimate and powerful story of her transition journey. From her early realizations and the challenges faced within a religious family to the life-changing moment of discovering she was intersex, Jordan opens up about her struggles and triumphs. She discusses the pivotal decision to transition, the impact on her personal and professional life, and the overwhelming support she received from her family. Through laughter and tears, Corey and Jordan highlight the importance of authenticity, resilience, and the unconditional love that makes such journeys possible.Guest Bio Jordan Elizabeth Braxton is a drag performer, advocate for HIV prevention and sexual health, Director of Diversity and Inclusion for Pride St. Louis, LGBTQ+ Advisory Committee Chairwoman for the City of St. Louis, activist, volunteer, transgender advocate and pageant queen.Pod Swap with Family TwistSummaryJordan shares her journey of transitioning and coming out as transgender. She discusses how she always knew she was a girl and the challenges she faced growing up in a religious African-American family. Jordan talks about her medical discovery of being intersex and going through hormone replacement therapy. She also shares her experience of coming out to her family, who were accepting and supportive. Jordan highlights the importance of sharing her story to educate others about the transgender experience and dispel misconceptions. Corey Stulce and Jordan discuss her career as a drag queen, her activism in the LGBTQ+ community, and her experiences with gender affirmation surgery. Corey talks about her early days as a drag queen, where she entertained audiences with her quick wit and ability to read people. She also discusses her involvement in activism, particularly during the HIV epidemic, and her advocacy for the rights of the LGBTQ+ community. Jordan shares her experiences competing in trans pageants and her excitement for the Miss America film division. She also reflects on her gender affirmation surgery and the happiness it has brought her. The conversation concludes with a discussion about their time working together on a production of Steel Magnolias and the joy they found in the theater community.Highlights of the episode:Transitioning is a personal journey that involves coming out socially, medically, and professionally.Acceptance and support from family and friends can make a significant difference in a transgender person's experience.Misconceptions and misinformation about transgender individuals and gender-affirming care are prevalent and harmful.Drag queens have played a significant role in the LGBTQ+ community, providing support and paving the way for LGBTQ+ rights.Sharing personal stories and experiences can help educate others and promote understanding and acceptance. Jordan's career as a drag queen was built on her quick wit and ability to entertain audiences with her reading skills.She has been an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community, particularly during the HIV epidemic, and has been involved in activism to raise awareness and fight for the rights of the community.Jordan is excited to compete in trans pageants and the Miss America film division, as it allows her to showcase her activism and positive representation of trans women.Her gender affirmation surgery has brought her immense happiness, and she encourages others to never take no for an answer and to pursue their dreams.Working together on a production of Steel Magnolias was a memorable and joyful experience for Corey and Jordan, highlighting the importance of community and the theater arts.Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download...
Turning 40 and Changing the Things that Muck with Your Mental Health
Jun 18 2024
Turning 40 and Changing the Things that Muck with Your Mental Health
In this week’s episode of Forty Drinks, Stephanie talks with Erik DeRosa about his profound midlife transition and struggle with mental health. Erik grew up with severe anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder, masking it under a facade for 25 years while pursuing a high-pressure career on Wall Street. At age 33, a dissociative episode forced him to confront his mental health issues and seek therapy. His life took a transformative turn when he discovered skiing, a passion that ultimately led him to leave his finance career and become a ski instructor in Colorado. Eric's story emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing mental health struggles, and how following one's passion can lead to a fulfilling and happier life. Guest Bio Erik DaRosa, known by friends as “Yoda,” is the Founder and CEO of From Survivor to Thriver, a mental health advocate, speaker, author and Co-host of the popular From Survivor to Thriver podcast. Through his work and his own lived experience, Erik is upending the front-end of the mental health space and building a bridge between those who seek resources and those who provide both help and hope. Each week on his podcast, he tackles different mental health topics through honest and relatable "kitchen table" conversations with real people who are helping to shatter mental health stigmas and find their voices. He aims to normalize discussions around mental health topics and remind his audience they are not alone, there is strength in community and "it's perfectly ok to not always be ok."In 2011, Erik traded in a successful career as a NYC finance executive when he moved to Colorado with his wife and two cats. Erik spent twelve winters as a ski instructor for the Aspen Skiing Company before retiring in the Spring of 2023.Born and raised in New England, Erik earned his MBA from the NYU Stern School of Business and his BA in Economics from Brandeis University. He lives in Colorado with his wife Amy and two cats, Lincoln and Taylor.Turning 40 and Changing the Things that Muck with Your Mental HealthThis week, Stephanie sits down with Erik DaRosa, a former Wall Street banker who found solace and a new beginning in the snowy mountains of Colorado. Erik shares his compelling story of battling severe anxiety and OCD from a young age, and how a midlife pivot at 40 led him to a transformative journey in skiing and mental health advocacy. Join us as Erik opens up about the challenges he faced, the revelations in therapy, and how skiing became not just a hobby but a lifeline.Highlights of the Episode:Erik’s early struggles with severe anxiety and OCD, and how these challenges were masked during his youth and early professional life.The pivotal moment at age 33 when a dissociative episode during a drive forced Erik to seek help and begin confronting his mental health issues.How a therapist’s unusual suggestion to try skiing led Erik to discover a passion that was transformative, both mentally and physically.Erik’s transition from a high-pressure finance career in New York to becoming a ski instructor in Snowmass, Colorado, embracing a healthier lifestyle and community.The launch of Erik’s mental health podcast, "From Survivor to Thriver," and his upcoming program, U-MOST (Unlocking Minds on Snow Together), which combines skiing with mental health healing practices.Today’s episode is a profound look at how midlife can be a turning point for profound personal transformation. Erik’s journey from the trading floors of Wall Street to the ski slopes of Colorado is not just about changing careers; it’s about discovering and embracing a new way of life that prioritizes mental health, passion, and community. His upcoming U-MOST program is set to offer others the therapeutic benefits of skiing, showing that it’s never too late to find your true calling and heal.If you enjoyed this...
Turning 40 and Embracing the Bare Minimum
Jun 12 2024
Turning 40 and Embracing the Bare Minimum
In today’s episode, Jeff Glauser shares his transformative journey from feeling stuck and unfulfilled in his mid-thirties to finding purpose and stability in his forties. Coming from a background in sports journalism, Jeff struggled with imposter syndrome and missed opportunities. Faced with financial hardships and personal setbacks, including a bankruptcy and his marriage ending, Jeff sought a path to reinvention. Through establishing ten daily habits centered on self-improvement and simplicity—such as exercise, meditation, and financial organization—Jeff slowly rebuilt his life. His story unfolds into a tale of self-discovery, resilience, and the power of incremental change, ultimately culminating in a meaningful new career and a fulfilling relationship.Guest Bio After waking up to a panic attack on his 42nd birthday broke, unemployed, and soon to be divorced, Jeff Glauser finally figured out a system to unstick himself. The former journalist, professor, and sales manager committed to a series of simple daily habits that changed his entire trajectory. Now the founder of Brandscribed, he helps other high performers change their brand narrative and create the next chapter of their lives.Turning 40 and Embracing the Bare MinimumIn this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie sits down with Jeff Glauser, who navigated through a profound midlife transformation. From battling the depths of career dissatisfaction and personal turmoil, including a challenging marriage and financial woes, Jeff shares his journey of rediscovery and how he reshaped his life into one of fulfillment and success. His story is not just about overcoming, but about the strategic and mindful steps he took to rebuild his life from the ground up.Episode Highlights:Jeff discusses his early career aspirations and the repeated setbacks that led to a loss of confidence and the onset of imposter syndrome.He shares the pivotal moment on his 42nd birthday that acted as a wake-up call, leading him to develop a set of daily habits that fundamentally changed his life.Jeff talks about the end of his marriage and how hitting rock bottom was both a challenge and a catalyst for change.The transformational power of simple daily habits that helped Jeff regain control of his life, including meditation, exercise, gratitude and managing finances.Jeff’s journey to finding love again, where a simple first date after his separation turned into a life-changing relationship.His career shift into leveraging his storytelling skills to help others in their professional branding, inspired by his own experiences and challenges.Jeff’s story is a testament to the fact that it’s never too late to change your life and find fulfillment. His methodical approach to establishing daily habits that foster personal and professional growth is not only inspiring but also actionable for anyone feeling stuck in their own life. This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing midlife challenges or seeking to reinvent themselves. It’s a reminder that with the right mindset and tools, transformation is within reach.If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more inspiring stories like Jeff’s to listeners who are navigating their own midlife transformations.Guest ResourcesJeff’s Offer for Forty Drinks Listeners: Become An Expert Brand Master ClassConnect with Jeff on FacebookBuilding a StoryBrand, by Donald MillerDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download...
Turning 40, Conquering Cancer and Planting Roots
Jun 7 2024
Turning 40, Conquering Cancer and Planting Roots
In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Gregory Halpen discusses his transformative journey from a tumultuous youth to finding stability and purpose in midlife. Gregory shares his struggles with substance misuse, the allure and challenges of life in New York City, and a life-altering battle with cancer at age 46, which led him to reevaluate his life, ultimately grounding himself and pursuing his passion for the arts more seriously. Gregory's story is a vivid example of resilience and the power of personal rebirth, offering hope and inspiration to those navigating their own midlife transitions. Join Stephanie and Gregory as they explore the profound impact of life’s trials and the beauty of emerging with a renewed sense of direction and fulfillment. Guest Bio Gregory has 30+ years’ experience as a gay men’s leadership coach, solo theater artist, stage & TV actor, and singer. Gregory teaches solo-theater artists how to get out of their head so they can openly create from the heart.Turning 40, Conquering Cancer and Planting RootsIn this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie McLaughlin sits down with Gregory Halpen, who shares his transformative midlife journey from a tumultuous youth and early adulthood marked by instability, trauma, and an ungrounded lifestyle. Gregory talks about the internal conflicts he faced, battling imposter syndrome and past traumas, and how these issues hindered his professional and personal growth. He also recounts a life-altering battle with Hodgkin's lymphoma at age 46, which spurred a dramatic shift in his perspective and lifestyle.From battling substance misuse and anxiety to overcoming a cancer diagnosis, Gregory’s narrative is a compelling tale of resilience, renewal, and the power of staying true to one’s passions despite life’s upheavals. He takes us from his time as a tumbleweed to a grounded performer. Episode Highlights:Early Struggles: Gregory discusses his challenging upbringing in a family grappling with addiction and how it shaped his early years.New York, New York: The allure of NYC and how it played a pivotal role in both the challenges and opportunities in his life, including his repeated moves to and from the city.Facing Cancer: Gregory opens up about his diagnosis of Hodgkin's lymphoma at 46, describing it as a major turning point that pushed him to truly confront his life’s direction.Artistic Pursuits: Insights into Gregory’s evolving career in theater and music, highlighting his current projects and how he channels his experiences into his creative work.Personal Growth: How therapy and personal development have helped him navigate through anxiety, build healthier relationships, and foster a more grounded existence.Gregory's story is a testament to resilience, illustrating how therapy, self-discovery, and a grounded approach led to personal and professional fulfillment. It is a vivid reminder that personal rebirth is possible, and sometimes, the most profound growth happens when we find ourselves rooted in our true passions. This episode offers insights and inspiration for those facing their own midlife transitions and seeking a path to a more intentional, grounded life.If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the podcast. Your feedback not only helps us grow but also inspires us to bring more inspiring stories like Gregory’s to you. Guest ResourcesConnect with Gregory on Facebook Connect with Gregory on Instagram Connect with Gregory on TikTok Do you have the Midlife...
Turning 40 and Waking From the Fairy Tale
May 31 2024
Turning 40 and Waking From the Fairy Tale
When she was 31, Laura Ballet met a man 11 years her junior that she would spend the next decade with. He acted mature for his age and she acted a little young, so they met in the middle on many  things. The relationship was mostly wonderful, but she put blinders on to avoid the things she felt were missing. However, once she started asking herself the hard questions, she couldn’t deny that something important was missing for her. She chose to take a leap of faith and listen to the little voices calling to her, that she could feel nudging her toward a different future. Guest Bio As a Global Ambassador for Life Transformational Empowerment and Human Awareness, Laura’s skill set, gathered wisdom, and personal discipline to advance human potential is evident in her creative work. The care, consideration, and genuine thoughtfulness of supporting and exploring an empowered life with both personal and professional individuals, is an impactful and life-advancing experience for her clients, attendees, and listeners around the globe. Co-Creating with individuals who are willing to grow past their present Mindset, repeated negative patterns, and outdated habits, are in for a 360 view on how to create and sustain happiness and well-being.Laura is a sought- after Coaching expert in the field of Neuro-Energy. A self-aware environment that allows us to move into the “Power Seat of Choice.” This awareness positions us into the realm of Empowerment, and here is where unlimited potential gains accountability to enact change. You will discover how we choose to think about thought, and the energetic frequency attached to that thought, sets up the way we experience life. The J3=E Formula activates your ability and potential to dissolve past challenges, and to Reframe your mindset, becoming skilled at hacking doubt, and in partnership with expanding creativity. There are empowering and inspirational thought leaders around the world consistently interviewing Laura for magazine articles, Podcasts, speaking engagements and creative collaboration.If you are willing to advance your present condition, state of mind, biology/cellular well-being, and your spiritual starting point, Laura’s revolutionary book, The Science of Empowerment, based on Mindset advancement, will fundamentally change everything. Do not stay connected to the past and unnecessary ways of moving through your days. We are here to evolve in every way possible! Do not let this life pass through you with your potential un-awakened.  Do not glance at the Power…Become the Power…Turning 40 and Waking From the Fairy TaleIn this heartwarming episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie sits down with Laura Ballet, who shares her poignant journey through the complexities of love, self-discovery, and personal evolution that unfolded in her 30s and 40s. After spending a decade with a man 11 years her junior, Laura felt a calling from within that this relationship wasn’t enough for her. She clearly remembers the day she saw him and thought, “I now realize that you are here to teach me what it is I don’t want.” This led to a leap of faith and a period of time where she focused on her relationship with herself. Ultimately, she found that everything she dreamed of was on the other side of that decision. Laura's story is a testament to the power of listening to one’s inner voice and the beautiful possibilities that arise when we dare to follow it.Highlights:Laura's early life and the impact of her family’s generational patterns on her personal growth.Her transformative relationship in her 30s with a younger man, which while fulfilling on many levels, ultimately taught her more about what she didn't want than what she did.The pivotal moments of self-realization and the decision to prioritize her own happiness and growth, leading to the end of her long-term relationship.Laura’s
Turning 40 and Kicking the Soul Sucking Job to the Curb
May 21 2024
Turning 40 and Kicking the Soul Sucking Job to the Curb
As a former "fat kid," Lauren Herskovic had deep seated insecurities that led her to choose professional roles that didn’t give her what she needed because she didn’t think she deserved it. She spent seven years as the COO of a startup where the founders made her feel like she was good at her job and dangled the carrot of the “big payoff,” but it came with severely compromised boundaries. Ultimately, she found her way from soul-sucking burnout to success and authenticity in the real estate industry. Lauren’s story is a powerful testament to personal and professional growth that can inspire anyone facing their own transitions around the age of forty. Guest Bio What do you get when you combine a teacher, a comedian and a COO? Either the start of a really bad joke or an attentive, knowledgeable, detail-oriented, and entertaining real estate agent. In this case, we’ve got the latter. Lauren Herskovic, founding member of Moda Group at Compass specializes in helping first time homebuyers find their place in Chicago.Lauren grew up in suburban Detroit and now lives in Chicago. She got a BA in English and Secondary Education from the University of Michigan (Go Blue!). She then served as Editor in Chief for an online women’s magazine in NYC before working as COO for a consulting company based in Chicago, taking the company from a 3-person operation to a team of 100+ with offices in the US and China. If you think that sounds like something that would burn someone out, you'd be right! So, burnt to a crisp in the latter half of her 30's, Lauren decided to follow her heart and make the leap into Real Estate. And she hasn't looked back since. In her free time (which is limited these days, with this active market!) she eats her way through Chicago, binge-watches Bravo with her Toy Poodle, Harvey, and takes an obscene amount of pictures of said food and said poodle.Turning 40 and Kicking the Soul Sucking Job to the CurbIn this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie McLaughlin sits down with Lauren Herskovic, who navigated through significant life changes before her 40th birthday. Lauren shares her journey from grappling with self-doubt rooted in childhood to transforming into a confident real estate agent and finding love in a healthy relationship. Lauren paints a vivid picture of the ups and downs of personal growth, the importance of vulnerability, and the ongoing quest for self-acceptance.Her story is a testament to the power of self-discovery and resilience through the midlife transition, offering listeners a candid look into the personal and professional growth that can occur during this pivotal time.Episode Highlights:Career Shifts: Lauren discusses her transition from feeling undervalued as a Chief Operating Officer in a startup to thriving as a real estate agent where she built her brand around her authentic self.Self-Discovery: She reflects on her struggles with body image and how overcoming these helped her gain confidence in her personal and professional life.Relationship Evolution: Lauren opens up about her past relationships and how meeting her current partner at the right time in her life made a significant difference.Setting Boundaries: Learn how Lauren learned to prioritize her needs and set boundaries, especially concerning her time and personal space.The Impact of Therapy: Lauren credits therapy with helping her understand herself better, which was crucial in her journey towards self-acceptance and improvement.Family Dynamics and Personal Growth:She discusses the influence of her family's communication style on her personality and how external perspectives helped her gain insight into herself.With a blend of vulnerability and humor, Lauren's journey through her midlife transition illustrates the challenges...
Turning 40 and Ditching the Lying, Cheating Narcissist
May 9 2024
Turning 40 and Ditching the Lying, Cheating Narcissist
As Ginny Priem approached 40, she was focused on her career and enjoying the life she had built for herself. Then she met “Chad,” who worked his way into her heart and home with his two kids. A year later she met a friend who presented her with evidence that “Chad” had been seeing someone else the whole time. One of the alleged instances occurred when Ginny knew she was overriding a sense that something was wrong.  It was only after getting out of that relationship that she started to ask the hard questions like, how did this happen? Why did I welcome this into my life? That led to uncovering toxic patterns she could trace back to her childhood in a narcissistic family. Guest Bio Ginny Priem is a keynote speaker, #1 bestselling author, host of the popular podcast "Drinking With Gin" and a life coach at the mastery level.Turning 40 and Ditching the Lying, Cheating NarcissistMotivated, successful and career-focused in her mid-thirties, Ginny Priem's life took a dramatic turn when she fell for “Chad” and his two children. Despite her initial reluctance, she embraced the relationship until a shocking revelation from a friend brought her world crashing down. This betrayal forced Ginny to confront not only the immediate pain but also deeper issues stemming from her past, including dealing with a narcissistic family background. Ginny's discovery of Chad's betrayal leads to a painful but empowering journey toward self-discovery, healing, and eventually using her experience to help others as a life coach, author, and motivational speaker. Throughout the interview, Ginny emphasizes learning from one's intuition, the importance of self-love, and reclaiming one's life from narcissistic abuse.Through her story, Ginny delves into the complexities of narcissistic relationships, the importance of listening to our intuition, and the transformative power of facing the truth. Key Takeaways:Self-Discovery is Key: Ginny's journey underscores the importance of self-discovery in healing. Understanding your past and how it influences your present can be a powerful catalyst for growth.Letting Go of Toxicity: Sometimes, you gotta Marie Kondo your relationships. Letting go of toxic connections creates space for healthier, more fulfilling ones to thrive.Embracing Your Purpose: Ginny found her purpose in helping others navigate tough times. Embracing your story and using it to uplift others can be incredibly empowering.Meditation for the Win: Who knew a meditation retreat could be so life-changing? Sometimes, all it takes is a little mindfulness to shift your perspective and set you on a path to healing.Turning Pain into Power: Ginny's journey shows that pain can be a powerful fuel for transformation. Instead of letting it break you, use it to propel yourself forward and create a life you love.Guest ResourcesSign up for Ginny’s Free NewsletterGinny’s books: You're My Favorite I'm My FavoriteConnect with Ginny on Facebook Connect with Ginny on Instagram Connect with Ginny on TikTokYouTube
Turning 40 and Peeling Back the Layers of the Onion
May 2 2024
Turning 40 and Peeling Back the Layers of the Onion
Sara Letorneau is a writer, editor, poet and writing coach who will turn 40 later this year. She grew up in a “normal” happy family in a working class suburb in Massachusetts where she was taught that the traditional life milestones would make her “happy:” go to college, get a job, find a boyfriend, get married and have kids. But we all know that it’s not that easy. Sara has made her way through some elements of the midlife Ick, in her job, her friendships and in her romantic relationships. And, while there are some aspects of the Ick she’s still making her way through, she’s got a wildly positive outlook about turning 40 this year. Guest Bio Sara Letourneau is a poet, book editor, and writing coach who lives in Massachusetts. She's the founder and managing editor at Heart of the Story Editorial & Coaching Services, where she works with fiction and nonfiction writers as well as poets to help them develop the skills, knowledge, and confidence they need so they can finish their manuscripts, polish them for publication, and stay focused and motivated as they reach for their writing goals and embrace their creativity. Her debut poetry collection, Wild Gardens, will be published by Kelsay Books in late summer 2024; and her award-winning poetry has been published widely in literary journals, magazines, and anthologies online and in print. Apart from work and writing, Sara believes in caring for one's mental health, practicing gratitude, doing what makes you happy, and taking responsibility for your actions and reactions and no one else's. You can visit her online and read more of her work at her website (heartofthestoryeditorial.com) or on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.Turning 40 and Peeling Back the Layers of the OnionThis week, Stephanie delves deep into Sara Letourneau’s journey as she navigates through multiple personal and professional transformations approaching her 40th birthday. Facing the 'Icks' of life, including career shifts, personal growth, and family dynamics, Sara shares her path to discovering and embracing her true self, overcoming challenges through a consistent gratitude practice, spirituality, and resilience. From embarking on a spiritual awakening and embracing a poetry career to understanding complex family relationships and redefining personal milestones, Sara's story offers insights into the universal quest for fulfillment and happiness.Guest ResourcesConnect with Sara on FacebookConnect with Sara on Instagram Heart of the Story WebsiteDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  Listen, Rate & SubscribeApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsGoogle PodcastsSponsorThe Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by
Turning 40 and Leaving the Bureaucracy for Science Fiction
Apr 23 2024
Turning 40 and Leaving the Bureaucracy for Science Fiction
David Hankins spent 20 years in the Army working in logistics. He retired at 42 and had to figure out what his next act was going to be. There would be stability to support his family, but he would also chase his dream of becoming a professional writer. Despite David’s midlife transition looking pretty smooth, there has been a lot of uncertainty. In both his search for a civilian job and his efforts to break into publishing, he’s heard a lot of no’s, or gotten no response at all. His approach to that was to provide himself with as many options as possible so that at least a few would work out. Guest Bio David Hankins is the award-winning author of Death and the Taxman and writes from the thriving cornfields of Iowa where he lives with his wife, daughter, and two dragons disguised as cats. David joined the US Army after college and, through some glitch in the bureaucracy, convinced Uncle Sam to fund his wanderlust for twenty years. He has lived in and traveled through much of Europe, central Asia, and the United States. Now that he’s retired from the Army, David devotes his time to his passions of writing, traveling, and finding new ways to pay his mortgage. You can find him at https://davidhankins.comTurning 40 and Leaving the Bureaucracy for Science FictionIn this episode, David Hankins shares his journey from serving in the Army for 20 years, through his transition back to civilian life, to becoming a published author. He talks about his military career, starting with his initial intention to join the military police, leading to his eventual role in logistics and ammunition management. David touches upon his travels, including deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq, and his life-changing decision to retire after 20 years of service. David discusses the challenges and uncertainties he faced while transitioning to civilian life, including his pursuit of a writing career. Inspired by storytelling sessions with his daughter, David began writing short stories, leading to winning the Writers of the Future contest. He also shares insights into his writing process, motivations, and his upcoming self-published novel 'Death and the Taxman'. Throughout the episode, David emphasizes the importance that networking, planning, and maintaining a positive outlook had during his midlife transition.Guest ResourcesOrder Death and the Taxman here!Connect with David on FacebookConnect with David on Instagram Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick Listen, Rate & SubscribeApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsGoogle PodcastsSponsorThe Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications
Turning 40 and Going from the Streets to Safety to Shock and Awe
Apr 17 2024
Turning 40 and Going from the Streets to Safety to Shock and Awe
Allison Doss has a multi-faceted midlife transition that took her through several harrowing phases. She moved to the “big city” after high school and was quickly recruited to become a stripper. She went from stripper to high-priced escort to homeless and drug addicted, prostituting to pay for her fix. At 40 she got into recovery but quickly replaced her pursuit of drugs with the pursuit of a man, who she ultimately married. That should be enough lessons for one person, but her husband came out to her as trans, which sent Allison into a relapse before she recommitted to recovery and to healing. Guest Bio For Allison Doss, what started as the life of a party girl in her 20s, ended as a drug addicted alcoholic prostitute at the age of 40. God‘s gift of desperation came in the form of another drug addict, who jumped her and cut her face and instilled fear that she knew existed. She began the journey to recovery at 40. She met a man, fell in love and got married. And just when she thought that she had created a life that was predictable and stable, her husband confessed to her that he thought he may be transgender. Nothing rocked Allison to her core like the love of her life not meeting the expectations for the marriage she had planned for them. Her story is that of transformation of surrender and self discovery. She found freedom in letting go of control of others and allowing them to walk their own path without her interference.Turning 40 and Going from the Streets to Safety to Shock and AweIn this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie talks to Allison Doss, who moved from a farm in Louisiana to Washington DC when she was 17. She was recruited to be a stripper,  which she thought was quite glamorous and made her a lot of money. That career introduced her to a party lifestyle and she eventually evolved into a high-priced escort, flying around the world on private jets. But the party didn’t last forever. She didn’t realize that she had slipped into addiction and, by the time she was 35, she was homeless, into heavy drugs, and prostituting herself to pay for them. Nobody knew where she was and she didn’t want to be found. Allison is honest about the turning points in her life, including losing custody of her children, living on the streets, and a violent encounter that eventually led her to seek recovery at the age of 40. When she entered recovery she met her “new drug of choice” - a man she would pursue vigorously and who would ultimately become her husband. She reflects on the process of making amends, reconnecting with her children, and the challenges she faced when her husband came out as transgender. This revelation sent Allison into a relapse, which she would blame on her husband. Recovery and healing led her to a deeper understanding of herself and the concept of control. This is the story of how she found her way back and healed her relationships, most importantly the ones with herself and her children and the lessons learned about life, expectations, and the release of control.“I thought there was something wrong with me,” Allison said. “So I went on this journey to dissect the fabric of my own cloth to discover what's wrong with me.  And, of course, there was nothing wrong with me.”Guest ResourcesConnect with Allison on InstagramDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ickListen, Rate & SubscribeApple Podcasts
Turning 40 and Embracing Intimacy Over Sex
Apr 9 2024
Turning 40 and Embracing Intimacy Over Sex
Karl Beckstrand was exposed to gay sex at age 8 by a male peer. Because of that experience at such a tender age, Karl developed a dysfunctional relationship with sex. He became hypersexual from that first encounter at age 8 until he was about 40, at which point he went to the other extreme and became a recluse for a decade. Here, he tells the story of how he learned to get his emotional needs met in a healthy way. Guest Bio College media instructor Karl W. Beckstrand is the best-selling author/illustrator of twenty-seven multicultural/multilingual books (60 e-books—reviews by Publisher’s Weekly, Kirkus, The Horn Book, and School Library Journal). Raised in San Jose, California, he has lived abroad, earned a B.A. in journalism, an M.A. in international relations and conflict resolution, and a broadcast & film certificate. His western novel, To Swallow the Earth, won a 2016 International Book Award. Beckstrand loves volleyball and singing (in rock bands or choirs). His Y.A. stories, e-book mysteries, immigrant biographies, self-help, Spanish/bilingual books, and STEM books feature diverse characters—and usually end with a twist. See: Amazon, Apple/iBooks, Baker & Taylor, Barnes & Noble, Follett, Ingram, Walmart, Target, and PremioBooks.comTurning 40 and Embracing Intimacy Over SexIn this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, host Stephanie McLaughlin talks to Karl Beckstrand, who reflects on his early experiences with hypersexuality and his attempts to suppress his attraction to men. He discusses the negative impact this had on his relationships and his decision to become a recluse for 10 years. Karl eventually realized that he needs emotional connection rather than sexual encounters to fulfill his needs. He opens up about his deep and lasting friendships with men, which he describes as "bromances." Karl challenges some of the societal norms in the gay community and emphasizes the importance of meeting emotional needs in relationships. This episode offers a unique perspective on relationships and personal growth in midlife.Highlights:Karl shares his early exposure to sex by a male peer and how it led him to act hypersexually along with his attempts to suppress his attraction to men.He discusses the negative impact of his out-of-control behavior on his relationships and his decision to become a recluse for 10 years.Karl realizes that he needs emotional connection rather than sexual encounters to fulfill his needs.He opens up about his deep and lasting friendships with men, which he describes as "bromances."Karl challenges societal norms and emphasizes the importance of meeting emotional needs in relationships.If you enjoyed this episode, I’d be honored if you would rate, follow, and review the Forty Drinks Podcast.Guest ResourcesConnect with Karl on Facebook Connect with Karl on Instagram Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick Listen, Rate & SubscribeApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon Podcasts