Grounded Wildness

The Grounded Wildness podcast is taking a break over the summer - and possibly beyond. I wanted to make this episode to talk through why I'm taking this break because the reasons apply to everything in your life as well, from how to spend your free time to the job you have to the friendships you maintain. We'll get into:How to take your life of autopilotClues to determine if you want to keep doing something or notCreating spaciousness in your lifeThere are MANY other ways to stay connected outside of the podcast! Here's what you can do:Join my email list - This is the best and most reliable way to stay up to date on everything and get resources delivered right to your inbox. You'll also get the Ultimate Guide To Saying No and Setting Boundaries, which goes right along with the theme for this episode!Connect on LinkedInEmail me directly at heather@whelpleyconsulting.comGo to my website, https://www.heatherwhelpley.com/, for information on speaking engagements, leadership development, coaching, books, and the blog

What do you do when fear, worry, and discomfort get in the way of you doing the thing you really want to do? That could be something big, like a career change, or something little, like going to an event where you don't know anyone. How do you take action even when fear is there?It's not about getting rid of the fear. It's also not about trying to force yourself to be 100% confident. Instead, there is a question to ask that will give you an answer that's unique to you and your specific situation. I've used this key for MANY years and it always gives me the motivation I need to move forward even when it's scary. In the episode, you'll get this key and how to apply it to different situations in your life, like:Setting boundaries and saying no (which can be so uncomfortable!)Imposter syndrome and questioning if you really know enough and have enough experienceProjects, decisions, and career choices that people may not get - or may actively upset themLinks:Learn more about hiring Heather as a speaker and her sessions on imposter syndrome, discovering your authentic voice, and setting boundaries: https://www.heatherwhelpley.com/speakingGet signed, hardcover copies of Heather's books on her website and the audiobook, ebook, and hardcover of Grounded Wildness on AmazonJoin Heather's email list and also get The Ultimate Guide To Saying No and Setting Boundaries At Work!

We're diving into two topics on the podcast today: How to stop apologizing when you have nothing to apologize for AND getting unstuck in your work and life. Shira Miller is an expert on both! She's also a TedX speaker, certified coach, author and the Chief Communications Officer at National DCP. Let's be clear - there are reasons you apologize ALL THE TIME. And there are also consequences - on your career, how you're heard, and how you feel on the inside (it's not good for your soul to constantly apologize for yourself!). We dive into:Recognizing your own "apology speak" - it goes way beyond just "sorry" (I learned a few new things with this one!)How to increase your confidence so you can share your ideas without apologizing for themStrategies to decrease chronic apologizingShira's definition of "stuck" - and how it can help you get UNstuckHow forgiveness plays a role in getting unstuck - both forgiving others AND forgiving yourselfLinks:Get Shira's book Free and Clear: Get Unstuck and Live the Life Your WantShira's website: https://shiramiller.com/Connect with Shira on LinkedInLearn more about hiring Heather as a speakerGet signed, hardcover copies of Heather's books on her website (and links to get them on Amazon, too!)

Today's episode is an inspirational lesson in how to be a positive force for change in your workplace – and in our world as a whole. Carliss Miller, our guest today, is an organizational transformation architect, changemaker, and dedicated Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) leader on a mission to drive positive change in organizations powered by employee engagement. She wants to bring people along with a shared vision of hope. This work is not without its challenges, though! In our conversation, Carliss shares the barriers and doubt she's experienced – and how she has found continued motivation and courage to advocate for change.We also dive into:What to do when you doubt yourself or your voiceHow to take care of yourself when things are hardLeading change when things are complex and nuancedWhat's challenging in DEI right now and what's giving Carliss hopeGiving yourself permission to reschedule important conversations when you know you don't have the energy needed for themLinks:Connect with Carliss on LinkedInConnect with Heather on LinkedIn and join the conversation about this episode!Learn more about Heather's keynote on Discovering Your Authentic Voice - And How To Use It To Lead Change (and her other speaking topics, too!)Get signed, hardcover copies of Heather's books on her website and the audiobook, ebook, and hardcover of Grounded Wildness on AmazonJoin Heather's email list and also get The Ultimate Guide To Saying No and Setting Boundaries At Work!

Big emotions. We all have them. Sometimes they're hard, sometimes joyful, sometimes just plain overwhelming. So what can you do with them? In today's episode we dive into just that, including:The rules and feedback that can get in the way of feeling and showing our emotions, like being told you're too emotional or that you need to be polite and not show angerHow to create space for your emotions and welcome them in, even when it's uncomfortablePractices to move with your feelings and release themHow to use your emotions as information about what's important to you, what needs to change, etc.Links:Learn more about Heather's keynote on Surviving To Thriving - A New Way To Manage Burnout (and her other speaking topics, too!)Get signed, hardcover copies of Grounded Wildness on Heather's website and the audiobook, ebook, and hardcover on AmazonJoin Heather's email list and also get The Ultimate Guide To Saying No and Setting Boundaries At Work!

How do you get heard in meetings? And how do you do that in a way that is both authentic AND effective? Because, let's be honest, a lot of advice given to women about how to get heard is based in bias and discrimination. It emphasizes all the ways you are "supposed to" show up vs. what is authentic to you. The same holds true for meetings and I know you are most likely in A LOT of meetings. They are a place to be heard and a place where it's easy to be overlooked, interrupted, and generally NOT heard. In the podcast, we'll cover four super practical tips that you can apply in your upcoming meeting to ensure your voice is heard:Taking up space and how to do that in virtual, hybrid, and in-person meetingsReclaiming an interruption and steering the conversation back in your directionSetting team norms that minimize interruptions and maximize people getting heardGetting an ally to support you in getting heard (and how you can support them, too!)Links:Learn more about Heather's keynote on Discover Your Authentic Voice - And How To Use It To Lead Change (and her other speaking topics, too!)Email Heather directly about speaking or with feedback on this episode: heather@whelpleyconsulting.comGet signed, hardcover copies of Grounded Wildness on Heather's website and the audiobook, ebook, and hardcover on AmazonJoin Heather's email list and also get The Ultimate Guide To Saying No and Setting Boundaries At Work!

Today we're diving into how to design your life with certified Design Your Life coach, Katie Selby! This is a great episode if you're considering a big change in your career or life -- or if you simply want to evolve in small ways. Katie will show you how to design a life aligned to your values, energy, and what works for you at this particular point in your life. We discuss:What does it mean to design your life and what are the specific steps you can take to start designing YOUR life?A powerful exercise you can do today to start envisioning a different future for yourself, even if you feel stuck (Katie and I have both gotten a ton out of doing this!)Feeling like you're not allowed to make a change and how to break that ruleGiving yourself permission to take "electives" as an adultThe moment that touched me deeply and brought immediate tears to my eyes - and I think it will hit you right in the heart as wellConnect with Katie:Katie's website for coaching, speaking, and retreat info: https://www.quarterlife.coach/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katieselby/Additional links:Learn more about hiring Heather as a speakerGet Grounded Wildness on Amazon and Heather's websiteJoin Heather's email list and also get The Ultimate Guide To Saying No and Setting Boundaries At Work!

This is a POWERFUL conversation about unhiding. If you've ever felt the need to hide parts of yourself or your story, whether it's related to your family background, education, finances, relationship status, or anything else, then this episode is  specifically for you.Ruth Rathblott, an esteemed TEDx speaker, author, and former leader in the non-profit sector, bravely recounts her twenty-five-year journey of concealing her limb difference. Discover how she courageously embraced authenticity, fostering deeper personal empowerment and meaningful interpersonal bonds. Ruth's story is entirely unique and her message applies to every single one of us. Hiding often brings feelings of shame and isolation, yet it doesn't have to be this way. That's why this conversation is incredibly important. In the episode we dive into:Why we hide parts of ourselves and our story (shame and fear of judgment play a big role)The value of unhiding in small, safe spaces (you don't have to get on stage and tell your story to audience to unhide!)The four steps to unhiding, even if you've been hiding something for a long time and aren't sure how to stopConnect with Ruth:WebsiteTEDx talk, When I Stopped Hiding, I Found FreedomLinkedInRuth's book, SinglehandedlyAdditional links:Learn more about hiring Heather as a speakerHeather's book, Grounded Wildness, on Amazon and her websiteJoin Heather's email list and also get The Ultimate Guide To Saying No and Setting Boundaries At Work!

How often do you do something because it's "good?" Do you avoid the cookie or cocktail because you're being "good?" Do you stay quiet when you're angry, hold back your feelings to protect someone else's feelings, save money, get up at 5:00am to work out, or are just generally polite and responsible all because it's "good?" And here's the real zinger -- how much of being "good" involves denying yourself?But here's the thing - I don't know about you, but don't want to be "bad" either! That simply doesn't resonate with me. Instead, it's time to redefine what it means to be good so you can be true to yourself and gain freedom from all the little constrictions that being "good" has given you. I'll share my list of qualifications for being "good" (which, oh my lord, was WAY longer than I ever anticipated) and then we'll talk through your rules for being good, what you get out of being good (there's always something you gain!), and how to redefine good on your own terms.Links:Learn more about hiring Heather as a speakerGet signed, hardcover copies of Grounded Wildness on Heather's website and the audiobook, ebook, and hardcover on AmazonJoin Heather's email list and also get The Ultimate Guide To Saying No and Setting Boundaries At Work!

It's the new year! Like many people, you might be evaluating what you want and thinking about making a change. In that spirit, the episode is all about the exact moment I knew my job had to change (which also happened on my birthday!) - and what I did next to figure out the right path forward for me. We dive into:How to recognize your full-body no (you've probably heard about a full-body yes – the full body NO is real, too!)The three actions I took to explore my next career moveHow I ultimately decided to leave my corporate job and start a businessChoosing to listen to your intuition over fearIf you're feeling a nudge towards change, or even career transition, and want guidance to find greater clarity and confidence for what's ahead, check out Where Are You Being Called! This is a unique six-week virtual program designed to uncover where your path is calling you in work, relationships, home, or any other aspect of your life. Not the path of expectations. Not the path of "should" and "supposed-to," but YOUR path. Get all the details and register here. We kick off January 18th!Additional links:Join my email list for updates about all the fun things happening this year – and also get The Ultimate Guide To Saying No!Learn more about hiring me as a speakerGet signed, hardcover copies of Heather's books and journal on her website and the hardcover, ebook, and audiobook of Grounded Wildness on Amazon

I hosted three Grounded Wildness book launch events last month and got the BEST questions at all of them! I'm taking the top questions from those launch events and answering them all in the episode today! Some are about Grounded Wildness - and some have nothing to do with the book. Here they are, in order:What's the difference between An Overachiever's Guide To Breaking The Rules and Grounded Wildness? Do I need to read An Overachiever's Guide first?The word "wildness" can have a negative connotation. What made you chose that word and what does grounded wildness mean?How much of what you talk about in Grounded Wildness is just natural maturation as we get older? Like, isn't breaking the rules we were handed just a part of growing up for all of us?What's your relationship to social media? Do you set boundaries? Do you find yourself performing on social media?What does it feel like to be in grounded wildness, whether that's in your body, mind, heart, or spirit? How do you know when you're NOT in grounded wildness?What do you wish could have gone into the book that didn't make it?Did you always want to be a writer?Are all the rules gone for you now or are some still around? If so, which ones?What's next? Are you writing another book?Links:Learn more about Heather's speaking topics and hiring her for an event at your organization in 2024!Get signed, hardcover copies of Heather's books and journal on her website and the hardcover, ebook, and audiobook of Grounded Wildness on AmazonJoin Heather's email list to learn about new programs for 2024 - and get the Ultimate Guide To Saying No!

Sara Letourneau is our next guest on the pod! Sara is the book editor, writing coach, and workshop instructor at Heart of the Story Editorial & Coaching Services. She's also publishing her first collection of poetry, Wild Gardens, in 2024. We talk about WAY more than just writing in this episode!We dive into:Sara's journey to let go of perfectionismHow Sara learned to recognize her own beautyThe simultaneously simple and mind-blowing way Sara set clear boundaries for work-life balance in her corporate career – and her advice to you to do the sameLetting go of forcing and allowing things to happen insteadReleasing all the "shoulds" when it comes to running a business – and listening to yourself insteadSara also reads In The Bath, a beautiful poem about fully accepting yourself that touched me deeply (link to read the poem is below.)Links:Read Sara's poems, In The Bath and Wild GardensSara's website with editing and writing coaching servicesLearn more about hiring Heather as a speakerGet signed, hardcover copies of Grounded Wildness on Heather's website and the hardcover, ebook, and audiobook on AmazonJoin Heather's email list to learn about new programs for 2024 – and get the Ultimate Guide To Saying No!

You are in for a treat with this episode! Jill Saunders is a mom, creative, corporate facilitator, and believer in something bigger. Her life changed when she started paying attention to life's whispers, which is exactly what we're talking about in this episode! You'll hear:How Jill reconnected to her confidence after getting feedback that she needed to change her natural style and strengthsJill's four steps to listen to the nudges and whispers of your life – without meditating for hours or going on a silent retreatWhat Jill means by "Silent Cracks" – and how to create them for yourselfHow to deal with it when you want an answer NOW – and you aren't getting oneLinks:Get Jill's gorgeous journals on Amazon!Grounded Wildness holiday sale is happening Sunday, November 26th - Wednesday, November 29th! Use the code HOLIDAY23 on Heather's website to get 20% off all orders over $100. Signed copies of Grounded Wildness, the Grounded Wildness Journal, and An Overachiever's Guide to Breaking the Rules are all available – including a gift pack with the book, journal, and bonus "Grounded and Wild Woman" sticker!Get the Grounded Wildness ebook and audiobook on AmazonLearn more about hiring Heather as a speaker

This is one of my favorite podcast episodes we've ever done! Part One in this series was all about identifying the barriers that get in the way of asking for (and even knowing!) what you want and how to ask for the little things. Part Two is about the big things. Asking for a compensation increase. Asking a partner (or parent, child, friend, etc.) for what you really want and need. Asking a manager for what you desire in your career. This episode cuts across the personal and professional and goes DEEP. You'll hear more about:How the traditional negotiation tactics taught to women can work – and how they're also based in rules, bias, and discrimination and are, frankly, incredibly frustrating (have you ever been told to smile more to get what you want?!?)The question to ask yourself to get clear on the big things you want in your career, relationships, and every aspect of your lifeHow knowing your worth allows you to ask for what you desire – and not just in monetary terms, but with everything in your lifeThe one thing that will make receiving what you want SO MUCH easierThe mindset flip anyone can use that gave me the motivation to negotiate for a raise in my corporate career and hold firm to my fees in my businessLinks:Get signed, hardcover copies of Grounded Wildness on her websiteGet the Grounded Wildness ebook and audiobook on AmazonLearn more about hiring Heather as a speaker

Do you struggle to ask for what you want and need? Or to simply state it directly, even without asking?!? You're not alone. So many women have a hard time asking for what they want in their career, in relationships, even requesting a unique order for something as small as a coffee! Your wants can feel selfish, burdensome, annoying – or a whole slew of adjectives that typically aren't true (but feel oh so true!) In today's podcast episode, we dive into:The barriers that get in the way of even knowing what you wantPrompts and reflections to get clear on what you desireHow to start asking for what you want in small waysCome back next time for part two, when we dive into asking for the big things you want in your career and life!Links:Grounded Wildness is here! Get signed, hardcover copies on Heather's website now!Learn more about hiring Heather as a speakerSchedule a speaking consultation with Heather to discuss your next event

Today's episode marks a totally new series for the podcast – interviews with women living in grounded wildness! In each episode, we'll be discussing the rules different women have unraveled, how they've dealt with the challenges that have come up along their journey, and how they've created their own rules for life. These are going to be real conversations with real women. No pretending or performing – we're diving right into life.Dara Beevas is the perfect first guest for this series! She is a writer, the co-founder of Wise Ink Creative Publishing, and my publisher for both An Overachiever's Guide To Breaking The Rules and Grounded Wildness! Dara is also a change-maker, full of joy, and living her own journey to grounded wildness. We dive into a wide-range of topics on the podcast, including:Unraveling the religious rules Dara was taught growing up and evolving them into a spirituality that works for her nowWhat it means to be a "lady" and "good" – and letting go of those definitions to rediscover yourselfThe messages we got growing up to be attractive and desirable for boysDara's key to creating space for herself (we can all use this one!)Links:Learn more about Wise Ink Creative PublishingGet more info about Dara, her books, and her speaking on her websiteOrder Grounded Wildness – coming October 17th!!!Learn more about hiring Heather as a speakerDara Beevas' Bio:Dara Beevas is the co-founder of Wise Ink and works with authors on a mission to share powerful stories that ignite change, tolerance, and growth. She's worked with more than 400 authors to publish their books, including both Grounded Wildness and An Overachiever's Guide To Breaking The Rules. Dara is also an author herself! She's authored The Indie Author Revolution, Social Media Secrets For Authors, Buzz: The Ultimate Guide To Book Marketing, and Amina of Zaria, a children's book that inspires li'l queens everywhere, especially Black and Brown girls, to fight for what they believe in. She's a recipient of the Bush Foundation Fellowship, Woman in Business Award, Emerging Leader Award, and Emerging Writer Fellowship granted through the Given’s Foundation.

Grounded Wildness is coming your way on October 17 - woo-hoo! You can pre-order your copy at www.heatherwhelpley.com/groundedwildness. Because we're getting so close to YOU getting your hands on Grounded Wildness and feeling its freedom, today's episode is all about the single key to freedom from proving, pleasing, and perfecting. You might hear different tactics and strategies out there to get through perfectionism and let go of people-pleasing, but this one key will cover them all. It goes deeper than any tool. It is the life-giving, soul-loving core of your freedom. In addition to that key, you'll also get:How Heather held back her voice at work and performed for so many years -- and how the key you'll get in the episode helped her to share her authentic voice and make a bigger difference with her work.What that single key gives you the freedom FROM - and also what it gives you the freedom TO do, like say no, make a job change, disagree with your boss, and be joyful - among a million other things.How to apply this key to your entire life–in all the places you feel behind, like you're not doing enough, or are a little bit broken. This key cuts right to the heart of all of that.Links:Pre-order Grounded Wildness - coming October 17th!Learn more about hiring Heather as a speakerGet An Overachiever's Guide To Breaking The Rules - Heather's first book that is basically a part one to Grounded Wildness!Join Heather's email list and get the Ultimate Guide To Saying No At Work

Do you ever have a bigger reaction than the situation calls for?  Like your level of emotion is out of proportion with what is actually happening?  Or maybe you realize that logic has completely left the building and you're just all reaction and emotion?  That happened to me last week.  A small error (in an admittedly big thing - my upcoming book, Grounded Wildness), sent me into a tailspin.  We're going to dive into all of that on today's episode, including:What was REALLY going on behind my perfectionism breakdown – because it was about way more than just an errorWhat I did to get through the breakdown – and come out the other sideWhat the perfectionism was trying to protect me fromWhat to do when you have a big reaction so that you can go through it and let it go – whether related to perfectionism or notLinks:Pre-order Grounded Wildness – coming soon!Read the introduction to Grounded WildnessLearn more about hiring Heather as a speaker

We've covered proving, pleasing, and perfecting in the last three weeks and now we're down to the final way we perform in our lives: Rebelling. That might not sound like performing. Rebelling might sound a lot like wildness, which is part of what I preach! But rebelling isn't GROUNDED wildness - it's just wildness. It's breaking the rules ON purpose; not WITH purpose. It's pushing against expectations and doing things differently just to do them differently - not because they actually feel good and authentic to you. Rebelling has a bit of a "Screw you, I can do what I want" kind of attitude. You probably know that feeling! In today's episode we'll cover:Examples of rebelling so you can recognize it in your own life - and take yourself back from this unique kind of performingHow to tell the different between rebelling and grounded wildnessThe next step when you're TIRED of all the performing (we'll be diving into this in more detail in the next episode, so be on the lookout for that one!)Links:Pre-order Grounded Wildness - coming this fall!Read the introduction to Grounded WildnessLearn more about hiring Heather as a speaker

Today's episode is all about perfectionism! It's the third way we perform in our lives - and definitely the one I hear the most about. You know the feeling of perfectionism. It's those unrealistically high standards and expectations that you feel like you MUST reach – and the inevitable stress, anxiety, shame, and worry that shows up when you don't. That's when the inner critic swoops in, berating you with a barrage of commentary: You should have worked harder. Done more. Why did you do THAT? Haven't you learned anything?!? You should know better by now. Are you stupid?Yep. It's all really fun. And almost everyone I work with experiences perfecting. In today's episode we'll cover:The REAL definition of perfectionism (it might be different than what you think)The root causes of perfecting and why it has absolutely nothing to do with youAn antidote to perfecting you can use immediately to starting quieting the self-judgmentWe'll also talk about Barbie – and the best speech ever that encapsulates exactly why you perfectLinks:Pre-order Grounded Wildness - coming this fall!Join Heather's email listLearn more about hiring Heather as a speaker