This is a continuation of a previous podcast about how to know your Filipina well after you marry her. Of course, there are some things you want to know before you get married but the learning experience doesn’t stop there. Today I will talk about some more ways to keep learning about your Filipina wife. Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea and learn about finding and experiencing marital love. Leave comments and get notifications for upcoming videos. Here are some learning opportunities- Being away from family-While your Filipina wife could likely still spend time with family while in the Philippines, being so very far away will be something she may not have had a chance to experience.  If she had been a OFW she has a head start in this regard, if not, you will be learning and helping her make this big adjustment.  You will learn how much time she spends on social media and need to be sensitive to that.  If it is too much, then it will be important to find a way a good way to allow her to continue doing this but not so much that it interferes with your ability to relate to her. How she is adjusting to your country-You won’t be able to know this until after marriage also.  How is she adjusting to the different currency?  The colder weather? Your family? The different food? Being away from her long-time friends?  The language? Anything new to her will be something she could use your help with adjusting to.  How will she handle making and having more money than ever before? You will discover how eager she is to ask for help for certain things. Her health-Her health will also be something you will need to learn about as it is possible that she wasn’t able to or avoided regular-check-ups with a doctor.  She might have some issues but not know it.  These are just some ways the Filipina’s husband will learn more about his wife and can be supportive and understanding. What a Filipina needs: Here are some areas I believe your Filipina absolutely will need you to understand about her after you are married-I will post some links where some of this info comes from. Listen to her sincerely: Observe her words, body language, and circumstances in order to compassionately understand her. Make eye contact with her, and ask thoughtful questions, like “How did that affect you?” or basic who/what/where/when/why/how questions. Study her, what pressure is she under? What does she need to feel loved? What are her passions, her skills, gifts and abilities? What energizes her? What does she despise? What does she need to feel safe? Is there someone in her life who is bothering her? To Know She's Loved-You will need to learn how she needs you to express it to her, as we talked about earlier. Understanding and Forgiveness-Forgiveness is a necessity to remaining married to someone. Real Conversation-Having left everything to be with a foreign husband, she will need him to be available to talk to her about more than just the bills, taking care of the children, are chores getting done.  A Filipina might tend to be quiet so it helps if the foreigner asks her regularly how she is feeling, if he can do anything for her, if her needs are getting met, etc. Quality Time With Her (and Your Children)-My wife is able to keep busy without me but there are times she needs me to just be with her, just to eat with her, to rest in bed together.  She doesn’t always need to be talking to me.  The Filipina will have to decide what quality time means.  What it means to me is simply just being with my wife. It can also mean sharing the moment at a movie or watching something on TV. It can mean having a serious talk about something too. To Hear "Yes" More Than "No"-Not yes always but she shouldn’t be afraid or not confident she can ask you for something or to do something.  You can know before marrying her that she will want to hear “yes” more often than she hears “no”. Better Listening Skills-You can already know that your Filipina will need you to learn how to be a good listener. You know how it is, as guys we tend to think that being a good listener means quickly grasping what the problem is that she is having and then giving a salient solution. But this really isn’t about comprehension or solution, it is about letting her say what’s on her mind, what’s bothering her, and being able to remain silent.  Listen to the podcast for even more ways to learn aobut your Filipina wife AFTER marriage, which is when most of it is going to happen. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-women-want-from-husbands-2303313 https://www.brides.com/story/ways-to-get-closer-to-husband-wife www.5lovelanguages.com

I hear see this from time to time, a man who has had sex with multiple women in his life, now wants to settle down, however, a big priority he has is to marry a virgin. Is this not a double standard? He is allowed to have fun with any woman he wants but, the right woman for him should avoid men until he is ready to marry her? Casting Beyond The Sea is the channel for Fil-West Higher Education and I want to help make marriage great again. Love is my business, and business is good, but when I see men wanting a virgin when they have been a player, something seems wrong about that. I am going to ask a lot of questions and I want you to contribute the answers; give me your response, share your experiences. This is not an everyday podcast topic but I prefer to deal with important matters if you have seen my podcasts and videos. Sometimes I think many people aren’t interested in that or maybe sometimes I hit too close to home. You have permission to talk about this tonight. This podcast is about the idea of a non-virgin man insisting on a virgin woman to marry. Why do men think so highly of virgins? I mean, at one point virginity is mocked and ridiculed, then later it is so highly prized like gold at the end of a rainbow. Listen and find out the logic of a player or former player insisting on marrying a virgin.

It is clearly important to have basic knowledge of the Filipina you want to marry or have married, and it is important to have commonality in important areas and having good relationship skills is a must. If a couple aren’t on the same page for their future plans, that needs to be worked on.  I have heard it said that a team is only as strong is its biggest weakness.  If a foreigner marries a Filipina, they may have a lot going for them, but if their weakness is their future plans being the same, that would spell trouble. Does this make sense?  My business is love and business is good. If you want the best Fil-West marriage advice, you are at the right place. Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea and Love Beyond The Sea on YouTube where I will talk about anything I am learning that would help a foreign man excel with a Filipina. I know from experience how wonderful and exhilarating it is to go to the other side of the world to find the wife I have wanted a very long time.  All the communication, adjustments, travel, meeting the family, visa paperwork and fees.  You tell yourself it is all worth it when you are together, and that’s true. Eventually the bloom comes off the rose and the usual challenges of two sinful people show up.  We all go through that. As I say that, I think how many couples end up not even having a future as the relationship gets short circuited due to any number of things, one of which could be your future plans not being in sync. Naturally, when you marry a Filipina it will be a while before the topic of future plans really becomes urgent. I am not sure exactly how important it is to talk about that when dating because you are usually focusing more on the present and the immediate future and it is possible you haven’t thought that far ahead.

When I began to consider marrying a Filipina, I only knew that I had heard they made good wives. I really didn’t have anything to go on as to why they made good wives. I knew I had long been attracted to their physical make up since I am attracted to their size and skin tone. You can’t base a marriage on that alone and since I have been married to a Filipina for almost five years, I have had a chance to learn up close and personal of the qualities that make a Filipina, the right one, a great wife.  Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea and Love Beyond The Sea which is my YouTube channel, that strives to help encourage and equip foreign men in pursuit of a Filipina to marry.  Some qualities they are known for are being respectful, cheerful, shy, hard-working, generous, resourceful and they love their families.  I would like to focus a little on the quality of being unselfish. You may have heard how Filipinas support their families, unfortunately sometimes to their own hurt.  We can debate whether or not it is from feeling compelled to do so, genuine love or a combination of both, but helping as they frequently do, does require a certain amount of unselfishness. I would appreciate comments from viewers about the ways they have observed the Filipina in their life be unselfish, to them, their families, to anyone. Here are some ways I have observed it myself.

This is a podcast that many of you should be able to relate to; if you are already older you can relate to this right now and if not, you will be able to relate to this later. That’s getting older; growing old. What’s good about that? I am facing that and I want to be optimistic about the future I have left. Since Casting Beyond The Sea and Love Beyond The Sea are channels designed to Make Marriage Great Again and is for Higher Fil-West Education, you can bet that there is a component of marriage in here today, but a lot of it won’t be about the great blessing of matrimony. Sometimes I feel like on Casting Beyond The Sea that I go where no man dares to go; today will be in that vein as the topic is aging or getting old. I am quite sure I will not cover everything here so please leave comments. I am 59. They say youth is wasted on the young and it’s true that young people often don’t appreciate their youth and take for granted the energy, vitality and future they have. However, we aren’t going to enjoy that all the days of our lives if we live a long life, like many of us want to. Medicine is helping to keep people alive longer these days but are they living better? I recognize that YouTube is often about having frivolous videos meant to entertain, and that’s fine but many videos are just plain vapid. You don’t learn anything, but on Love Beyond The Sea, I’d like to think I am saying things that people can learn something from. I tend to be serious and that is needed too. Now, let’s talk about what is happening to all of us-we are getting older...

Having options-that’s good. Being too picky-not good, not advised. None of us are getting any younger; even Dick Clark defied aging for a long time but he too, succumbed to Father Time. I am going to make my point again about being too picky by talking about this article (link will be provided). You may be familiar with former NASCAR driver Danica Patrick. She is very wealthy (estimated net worth of 80 million dollars), eligible to be married…but why do I think this might not happen? She has been married, had a five-year relationship with another driver and was most recently with Aaron Rogers of the Green Bay Packers (Danica is from Wisconsin). She has also starred in many music videos and advertisements. In addition, she also modeled for ‘Sports Illustrated’. However, being picky might end up being more like a flat tire or running out of gas, then crossing the checkered flag and ending up with a spouse. Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for marriage talk. Once in a while I will talk about love dolls or hindrances in society to getting married and sometimes mention some celebrities, you know, the ones you would think wouldn’t have relational issues because, well, they have it all right? They can be picky, be choosy, but a lot of the time that doesn’t seem to work out. I will talk about an article I read that I will link right here- https://people.com/sports/danica-patrick-next-partner-going-to-be-extremely-high-quality-person/?amp=true

Since starting the YouTube channel Love Beyond The Sea on Valentines Day of 2018, I have kind of struggled with how I should market it. After seeking marriage for an astounding 30 years of the prime of my life and been found wanting, in 2015 I found what I was missing and what I had been searching for-marriage! The woman I married in less than eight weeks from the other side of the world, the Philippines, is still my wife today and I believe we will be together until one of us dies. Yet, even I am not sure that qualifies me to be part of the Philippines vlogging community. That could be a good thing or a bad thing. This channel is about making marriage great again. Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea and it may help you decide if you want to pursue marriage or if you want to go your own way. I think the Bible makes it clear marriage is the absolute best for almost all men and women. My impression is that there are basically two types of Philippines vlogging channels on YouTube and they are the sexpats and the families who are basically displaying their daily lives on their channels. The former is fraught with drama and the latter is mostly drama free. I do think that there is a stigma about the community, namely because of the preponderance of sexpat channels. I won’t name names, if you are aware of the scene, then you know who I am referring to. There are a small number of channels that attack the sexpats, are not married, and do not offer relationship advice, so that is out there too. I will talk about whether or not I fit into that mold.

I have a list of 100 ways to love a woman, our interest being a Filipina, that is from marriagemissions.com and is from an anonymous author and I will link it in the description box. These are all practical but not something you might think about during the day but they are valuable for me to get out there and hope this resonates with some men in a relationship with a Filipina. Because she is coming from so very far away, the husband might need to be extra good at doing the little things that make his Filipina wife feel loved. I will put as much of this as there is room for in the description box. Guys don’t normally sit around and talk about this so I’d like to do this here on Casting Beyond The Sea.  Please subscribe for information to help you decide if you should pursue a Filipina to marry and for how to have a good relationship with her. This would be a good occasion to comment on what helps your Filipina feel loved.  If you can do these kinds of things, your chances of having a solid and lasting relationship with a Filipina go way up. I have maintained the man, the husband needs to lead or give direction to the relationship, and here are some good ways how, and remember that much of what I talk about can be used with any woman. 1. Start and/or end each day by holding hands and praying together with your wife. 2. Pray for her every day and make it a point to pray with her when she is troubled. 3. Communicate with her instead of talking AT her or shutting her out emotionally. 4. Talk to her respectfully without demeaning her or hurting her feelings. 5. Compliment her for the giftedness you see in her. Be specific. 6. Show interest in her friends and if they are trustworthy, give her time to be with them. 7. Do something active together to lift her spirit —even taking a walk hand-in-hand. 8. Express to her that you need and value her. 9. Show enthusiasm for the things that she’s excited about—let your actions show it. 10. Find something that makes you laugh together.  11. Put your arms around her when she needs comfort, holding her silently. 12. Surprise her by doing something you think she would want done before she asks. 13. Try not to make sudden changes without discussing them with her first. 14. Show interest in that which she values as important in her life. 15. Allow your wife to teach you things without being defensive. 16. When you feel you must correct her, be gentle —speak the truth in LOVE. 17. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey) 18. Show her that she matters more to you than any one you could be with, that threatens her security in your marriage. 19. Be a good listener. Show her you value what she says. 20. Plan a mini-honeymoon, where the two of you can spend quality time together. Additional Suggestions: 21. Go shopping with her and don’t sigh or look at what time it is even once. 22. Take her out to breakfast or make her breakfast (cleaning up afterward). 23. Make the time to set specific goals with her to achieve together for each year. 24. Give her grace when she offends you and forgive (even as you want to be forgiven). 25. Find ways to help her know you are her partner in all areas of life. 26. Be polite, courteous, and mannerly with her—not taking her for granted. 27. Exhibit humility, admit your mistakes, and ask for forgiveness. She’ll appreciate that! 28. Defend her to others—especially to your family. 29. Don’t belittle her intelligence. 30. Scratch her back, rub her feet, or her rub her neck—whatever she’d prefer. 31. Get up in the middle of the night (let her stay in bed) to take care of your upset child. 32. Be especially helpful when she is not feeling well. 33. When she asks how your day went, don’t just say “fine” —actually give her details. 34. Thank God for her by name when the two of you are praying together. 35. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead. 36. Don’t embarrass her by arguing with her in front of others. 37. Lead your family in their spiritual relationship with God. This is important to her. 38. Make eye contact when she is talking to you and when you are talking with her. 39. Show her that you prefer her to others—give her your attention whenever possible. 40. Relate what happened at work or whatever you did apart from her. More Suggestions: 41. Keep away from anything that gives you sexual gratification, other than your wife. 42. Be helpful, both before and during the time you have visitors in your home. (If you’re not sure of what to do, ask your wife “What can I do that would help the most?”) 43. Brag about her to others, both in front of her and when she is not with you. 44. Surprise her from time-to-time with a card and flowers or a little gift. 45. Remember to tell her or call her as soon as you know you are going to be late. 46. Give her your undivided attention when she wants to talk. 47. Guard your tongue from saying “unwholesome words” or down-grading her. 48. Refuse to compare her unfavorably with others. 49. Give your spouse time to unwind after she gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey) 50. Be an involved partner in helping with the children and spending time together.

I have a list of 100 ways to love a woman, our interest being a Filipina, that is from marriagemissions.com and is from an anonymous author and I will link it in the description box. These are all practical and not mysterious. In the last upload I covered the first 50, today I will go over the other half. Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea where I aim to make marriage great again and provide Fil-Am Higher Education. Videos can be seen on Love Beyond The Sea, which can be found on YouTube and lvbts.com If you can do these kinds of things, your chances of having a solid and lasting relationship with a Filipina go way up. I have maintained the man, the husband needs to lead or give direction to the relationship, and here are some good ways how, and remember that much of what I talk about can be used with any woman, so that is great for you guys who are thinking a woman from overseas might not be the way to go. Here are 50 additional ways to make your Filipina feel loved. 51. Maintain good grooming habits so you look and smell good. It shows you care. 52. Be supportive. Help her to finish her education and goals that are important to her. 53. View and treat her as if God put a sign over her that said, “Make me feel special.” 54. Run errands without complaining. 55. Give her the love gift of being thoughtful and considerate to her relatives. 56. Don’t negatively compare her relatives with yours. 57. Sit close to her —even when you are just watching television. 58. Be verbally supportive and honor her in front of the children. 59. Do not make plans without her agreeing with them (unless it’s a surprise). 60. Pro-actively do things that makes her feel cherished as a woman and as a wife. Plus: 61. Keep her trust at all costs. Leave no gray area when it comes to other female relationships, money and your word.(Dave Ramsey) 62. Ask for a list of 3 things she’d like done in the home. Do them ASAP. 63. Ask her and then listen to what makes her feel insecure (without judging). 64. Pray and act upon what you can do to alleviate those fears. 65. Find out what her sexual needs are (and then try to fulfill them). 66. Surprise her with a 15 second kiss (with no expectations to go further). 67. Keep yourself in good shape so she’s especially proud to be with you. 68. Write a mission statement together for your marriage, and family. 69. Physically touch her every day—even if it’s only for a minute or two. 70. Be polite and kind. (Often, we’re kinder to strangers than we are to our spouse.) 71. Be sensitive enough to ask her if you offend or hurt her sexually in any way. 72. Go out of your way to help her feel valued over everyone else. 73. Consider her as your marital partner in how you spend money. 74. You dated your wife before marriage, and fell in love. Date her now to STAY in love. 75. Be careful to choose your words, especially when angry. 76. Show affection for her in front of friends. 77. Make sure your children speak to her and treat her in respectful ways. 78. Make a point of honoring anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions. 79. Make sure she has money to spend any way she would choose. 80. Hold her close and verbally express your love when she is hurt or discouraged. Lastly: 81. Surprise her by giving her a special gift from time to time. 82. Share the responsibilities around the house (without looking for special recognition). 83. Don’t tease and belittle her, saying “I was just joking” when she doesn’t find it funny. 84. Allow her to express herself freely, without fear of being called illogical or dumb. 85. Don’t forget to hold her hand in public like you used to when you dated her. 86. Don’t criticize her in front of others—keeping her dignity intact. 87. Don’t focus on the physical features of another woman (It dishonors your wife). 88. Be sensitive to her needs—looking for ways to bless her. 89. Let her know you want to spend special time with her and the children. 90. Fix dinner for her sometimes. 91. Be sympathetic when she’s sick—and help her however you can. 92. Let her sleep in sometimes and you get the children ready for the day. 93. Honor her by not disagreeing with her in front of the children. 94. Don’t ignore the small things that bother her and let them build into bigger issues. 95. Surprise her by doing some things around the house that she’s wanted done. 96. Tell her (and show her) you love her often. 97. Call, email or text her when you’re apart so she knows you are thinking of her. 98. Surprise her by suggesting a marriage seminar or weekend retreat you can attend together. 99. Express your love and appreciation for her in a love note which you give to her. 100. Show her affection without sexual intentions. https://marriagemissions.com/100-ways-love-husband/

I am going to give you a link in the description box of 100 ways a Filipina wife can show her husband that she loves him.  In this podcast I will talk about some of the ones that are important to me, and how you might suggest this need to your wife.  My intent is for the foreign husband to be able to look through this, and highlight the things that he thinks his wife needs to know about him. I am only going to cover the ones that I need to express to my wife. This is more challenging for some men than others, but I want to make it easy for you. It may have been written for women to use, but I am going to turn it around so that the man makes the first move here. I think it is important that he be able to openly talk to his Filipina wife about what he needs her to do to show him love. Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for practical, honest help with being a loving husband to a Filipina. I am thrilled to be married to my Amazing Aiza, through the ups and downs and frequently recommend a Filipina as the type of woman to look for. There will likely be things I will learn from this list that I hadn’t even thought about talking to my wife about. Remember, for the purpose of this video I want the man to be able to express his need for his wife in these areas, the ones that apply to him. If you already are then good for you, the main message here is to speak up. I think you will enjoy looking through this list.  I just got into it a little bit and already can tell a trend or pattern with what is important to me, and not surprisingly it corresponds to my particular love language which is words.  Touch is important to me too.  I am not likely to tell my wife it is important for me to receive a gift from her (although if that IS her love-language I need to embrace that). I am not likely to want her to necessarily do things for me (that would be the language of service). To show you what I mean, I will run through examples that would pertain to someone like me, and you can see where you would need to let your Filipina know how she could make you feel more loved. Listen to the podcast for many ways to know how to love your husband. https://marriagemissions.com/100-ways-love-husband/  SUGGESTIONS on How to Show Love to Your Husband: (covered today) 1. Respectfully communicate with him. 2. Let him know he’s important to you. 3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him. 4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy. 5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey) 6. Tell him you both love him AND like him. 7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey) 8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis. 9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also. 10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together. Other Suggestions: 11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving time to adjust. 12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems. Have FUN! 13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of mainly focusing on the negatives. 14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life. 15. Give him special time with you apart from the children. 16. Try to make the first few minutes he comes home from work a positive experience. Ease into the negative. 17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey) 18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband. 19. Look for things you can complement about your husband. Let him know your appreciation often. More Ways to Show Love: 20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions. 21. Talk with him about having specific family goals to achieve together to feel closer as a marital team. 22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him. 23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you. 24. Find ways to show him you need him. 25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.) 26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride. 27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk abouthim. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7). 28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance. 29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day. Other Ideas: 30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk (schedule it when necessary). 31. Initiate going out on romantic outings. 32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him. 33. Surprise him with a fun gift that he’d really enjoy. 34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family. 35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is. 36. Talk in loving, not in nagging or belittling ways.

I am going to give you a link in the description box of 100 ways a wife can show her husband that she loves him.  In this podcast I will talk about some of the ones that are important to me, and how you might suggest this need to your wife.  My intent is for the foreign husband to be able to look through this, and highlight the things that he thinks his wife needs to know about him. I am only going to cover the ones that I need to express to my wife. This is more challenging for some men than others, but I want to make it easy for you. It may have been written for women to use, but I am going to turn it around so that the man makes the first move here. I think it is important that he be able to openly talk to his wife about what he needs her to do to show him love. Here is the complete list- SUGGESTIONS on How to Show Love to Your Husband: 1. Respectfully communicate with him. 2. Let him know he’s important to you. 3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him. 4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy. 5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey) 6. Tell him you both love him AND like him. 7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey) 8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis. 9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also. 10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together. Other Suggestions: 11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving time to adjust. 12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems. Have FUN! 13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of mainly focusing on the negatives. 14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life. 15. Give him special time with you apart from the children. 16. Try to make the first few minutes he comes home from work a positive experience. Ease into the negative. 17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey) 18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband. 19. Look for things you can complement about your husband. Let him know your appreciation often. More Ways to Show Love: 20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions. 21. Talk with him about having specific family goals to achieve together to feel closer as a marital team. 22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him. 23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you. 24. Find ways to show him you need him. 25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.) 26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride. 27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk abouthim. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7). 28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance. 29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day. Other Ideas: 30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk (schedule it when necessary). 31. Initiate going out on romantic outings. 32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him. 33. Surprise him with a fun gift that he’d really enjoy. 34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family. 35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is. 36. Talk in loving, not in nagging or belittling ways. 37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him). 38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually. 39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities. 40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life. Remember, all of these “ways to love” are only suggestions: 41. Take special notice of what he does for you and the family. 42. Brag about him to other people in front of him andwhen he’s not there. 43. Keep conversations brief when he’s tired—so he isn’t “flooded” by too many words. 44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him. 45. Honor him in front of the children (differ in private when necessary). 46. “Look into your husband’s eyes when he talks to you. This makes him feel that you’re interested.” (J. Clain) 47. Get up with him, and pray with him to start your day together. 48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it. 49. Participate in shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk. 50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it. More Suggestions: 51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time and space to recover. 52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education. 53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.” 54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him. 55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you. 56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way. 57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men). 58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.” 59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do. 60. Do little things for him—let him sleep in, bring him coffee, etc. 61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him. Want more suggestions? Read on… 62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often. 63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home. 64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them. 65. Discover his sexual needs. 66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work. 67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function. 68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks. 69. Don’t quarrel over words. 70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.) More Suggestions to Consider: 71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better. 72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.” 73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead. 74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time. 75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public. 76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones. 77. Tell him you love him more often. 78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case. 79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you. Here are the Last 20 SUGGESTIONS… Keep Gleaning: 80. Don’t expect him to read your mind (despite your thinking he should— extend grace). 81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone. 82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff, when possible. 83. Put effort in to keep yourself in good shape so he’s especially proud to be with you. 84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical. 85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.” 86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity intact. 87. Visit his childhood home with him. 88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment. 89. Pray for him. 90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick. Other Suggestions: 91. Look your best—dress to honor and make him proud to be seen with you when you’re out together. 92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader. 93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children. 94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children. 95. Cheer his successes whether in it’s related to business or other areas of everyday living. 96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you. 97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub. 98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet. 99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them. 100. Thank him for just being himself. The author is unknown, for the list of “100 Ways.” https://marriagemissions.com/100-ways-love-husband/

I am making this podcast to accommodate a viewer request.  They asked for a video to address the perception of people when we are in public due to our large age gap.  Whether we are in America or the Philippines, my wife has never made a comment on how anyone has reacted to us in public. If I had a camera I’d be interested in people’s responses, or maybe not, it wouldn’t affect our marriage one way or the other. Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea, the channel that wants to make marriage great again. I go into a lot of detail because this is a channel for higher Fil-West education, and you should be prepared for what married life with a Filipina is like. Honestly the only observation I have is from the Philippines, and that is on the third time I was there.  Only then did I perceive anyone even looking at me, and that was in the mall we usually went. There were a lot of people there, and not all that many foreigners, but I did notice some men looking at me with Aiza nearby. For all I know, the reason they were looking was because I was a foreigner, not that I was with a Filipina.  I would describe the looks as a pensive stare. The kind that makes you feel like you are being scrutinized a little. When we met with her friends, some of them married, all were polite and friendly, I felt like I could talk to them, nothing was out of the ordinary. But what about here in America, is it a different story? Where have we been out in public? Find out now by listening to the podcast.

https://www.growthtrac.com/art-apology-men/ Today I want to utilize a brief article from growthtrac.com that is linked above.  I think it is a wonderful and easy way to understand how to apologize. It is exactly what any husband needs to know. A foreign husband and Filipina wife, perhaps a good deal younger than he is, is a union that may result in more opportunities for conflict that leads to the need for an apology. Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for helpful advice for foreigners in a relationship with a Filipina or who would like to be. I want to make marriage great again. Going where you’re wanted might mean considering a woman from the Philippines. You already know there will be many times you will do something or say something that causes hurt to the Filipina, because men and women have a tendency to do that, because we are sinners. And there are times you’ll say something that upsets someone and you don’t know why it would.  Apologizing requires more than saying “I’m sorry.” This article explains why that is and the best way to apologize. What tends to get me in trouble are my words. Sometimes it is the tone of my voice and other times, all I have to do is make a certain face and I know I am in trouble. I have been told that sometimes when I’m mad, I look like I could kill someone and I believe that. I am an emotional person and don’t like to hold anything in. What someone like me needs to learn to do is to “get it out” with the right words, not the wrong ones, focusing on the problem, without doing it in a way that makes someone feel like they are being attacked. Here are the five apology lanuages from the link above that I will talk about. Language #1: Expressing Regret Language #2: Accepting Responsibility Language #3: Making Restitution Language #4: Genuine Repentance Language #5: Requesting Forgiveness

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1262065 This isn’t a trick question. On the surface it may sound like a sensible thing, but as someone who is married to a Filipina, to a woman I married in less than eight weeks, who makes videos to help make marriage great again, I really don’t like that sentiment. I picked this comment out from a feminist writer in China, from an article that has several things that stood out to me, and I wanted to comment on a few of those. I will link the article at the top of the description box. Will this upload end up in the Controversial Collection Playlist on YouTube? You can decide. I will touch on the “cooling off period” law and why a Chinese legal expert thinks it is a good idea.  Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea where I do my best to describe what love is and show you, in my own life. I think we need more of that in this ever-confused world we live in. I don’t want you to be confused. China has a newly introduced law that is essentially a 30-day cooling off period when it comes to divorce and I want to share that with you today. This is a Fil-West higher education channel-no tuition necessary, although a subscription to Casting Beyond The Sea will suffice.

Today I want to be real honest about one of the many ways my wife from the Philippines makes my life so much better. I needed someone when I started pursuing a woman to marry. As it turned out, my little woman is someone who is fulfilling God’s will for her life in part by being my wife, and, I am doing likewise for her. Try to see how many controversial things are said here. I don’t try to say things that are unpopular; it’s just that I see things differently than many. Wikipedia tells me that Paul McCartney and Wings 1973 song "My Love (does it good)" was given an unfavorable reception by many music critics, some of whom considered it overly sentimental and lyrically inconsequential. I think some people think the same about Casting Beyond the Sea and Love Beyond The Sea YouTube videos. All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong? We have answers here on Casting Beyond The Sea. https://www.gotquestions.org/woman-helper-suitable.html

You know those tv shows where people are making decisions on getting an upgraded house, keeping their current one, doing renovations? My wife likes to watch those with my mom and the other day when I was curled up with her (my wife), I had the idea to consider if maybe I should do something similar with her. Subscribe to Casting Beyond the Sea and Love Beyond the Sea videos on YouTube, and get the best insight into marriage with a Filipina. This is higher Fil-West education at exactly no charge to you. Subscribing on Podbean will give you insight you won’t find anywhere else. My wife likes the show Love It or L$st it. There’s a lot of drama sometimes. Moving from one place you’ve been comfortable with to another place and kind of starting over again, is a big decision to make. You don’t want to suffer buyer’s remorse, so how do you make the right choice? Watching this program got me thinking about what I would do with my Aiza if I had the choice.

How good are you at convincing your Filipina wife that you are going to be with her forever; be her forever man? Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea where I can help you to see the value in a Filipina wife, how to be good to her, and how to have a successful marriage to her. I have been working through this myself for over six years now, and am always eager to share what I learn. I’d appreciate you sharing these podcasts to help other men discover this channel. I want to make marriage great again, and that includes yours, which is why this is higher Fil-West education. My wife needs to know that she doesn’t have to be perfect for me. I don’t want to dwell on her faults, I want to major in her positives. I want her to know I look forward to coming home to her and that I want us to be together as much as possible. Your Filipina needs to know you support her 100 % and are there for her all the time, no matter what, for the rest of your life. She understands she isn’t perfect and friction is inevitable. She knows she will need her husband’s forgiveness. You need it to. There has to be a confidence that the two of you are in it for the long haul, come what may. But this doesn’t happen naturally, it takes effort. Learn about believing the best of your wife here today on Casting Beyond The Sea.

I found an article I liked and will link it for you as well as the questions in the description box, to a quiz about how well you know your Filipina.  Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for any help I can provide for foreigners interested in a Filipina or for those who already are; many of the topics can help anyone.  I only scored a 7.5 which is not all that good, but that doesn’t surprise me, especially when reading the part about how to understand your score. I will post the questions in the description box. I want to make marriage great again and think most people will be miserable alone. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201607/21-questions-test-how-well-you-really-know-your-partner From the article-When you review your answers together, remember that it's your partner who decides whether you earn a point for each answer.  Scoring is not the key to this quiz—the conversation is—but here's a possible scoring guide: If you (or your partner) score 16+ points: You know your partner very well—and if you scored more than 16, and you've been with your partner for less than six months, you're probably a bit intense in your relationship style.  If you score 10-15 points: You know your partner pretty well. In what categories do you know them less well? Maybe the two of you haven't talked much about your childhood experiences, or you've shied away from talking about topics related to negative emotions. Aim to learn the answers now. If you score 5-9 points: Maybe you've only been together a short time, maybe you don't talk to each other much, or maybe your conversations tend to be of a particular type (e.g., you're both in the same profession and mainly talk about work.)  Ask yourself now if your personal lives or careers are so demanding that you're not getting a chance to talk and connect.  Would it be worth bringing more balance to your relationship? If you score 0-4 points: The good news is there's lots of room for improvement here. Why these questions?  These questions are designed to tap into a range of positive and negative emotions. The questions about negative emotions and fears are included because strong relationships involve being willing to be vulnerable with each other. Questions about childhood are included because close couples typically understand the formative experiences that made each other who they are today. And the lighter, more fun questions are included because it's important to have conversations about your positive emotions, too.  (Note: These questions are designed for people who have been together for several years or more. If your relationship is newer, adjust your expectations accordingly.)

My YouTube channel, Love Beyond The Sea has been around for over three years. You might not know it by the subscriber count. Frankly, I thought it would be higher by now, and of course, have to ask myself why that is. With so many people complaining good wives are a fairy tale, if you haven’t subscribed, why don’t you subscribe and find out what this is all about. I have a message to spread-I want to make marriage great again. One thing I thought about was maybe guys think this is hype and it isn’t going to work for them. Others might think that I am giving them hope that in the darkness of the present dating climate, that men who really want a wife and know they need one, can do like I did, and find a wife overseas. I don’t care where you find one, I just want you to find one. I also like to emphasize that your time and opportunities are slipping away. That is just reality. Since I am married, I live in reality. Listen to how I think men should think about my YouTube channel here on Casting Beyond The Sea.

If you are interested in marrying overseas, like the Philippines, and need to meet someone face to face, you are not able to go to the Philippines at this time. At first this looks like a detriment to even bothering to get started but it doesn’t have to be that way. I’d like to think this is a thinking man’s channel for finding a wife abroad and strengthening that relationship through marriage. Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for podcasts that will go deep inside the reality of marriage to a Filipina or any woman. Women are the same everywhere, they want a strong, wise and caring man to marry them. I want to show you how and make marriage great again. Now, something to think about. If you haven’t started searching for a wife overseas yet, so what if you can’t travel to the Philippines right now or maybe not even for the rest of 2021? You’ll need time to get to know someone overseas and a webcam is not a bad way to do it. When I joined Christian Filipina on March 13 of 2015, my first communication with my wife was five days later, and that probably doesn’t include my original wink at her to let her know I was interested. We got married in the Philippines already in May of that year. However, not being immediately able to dash to the Philippines to meet someone is an opportunity to identify the right woman to invest your life into, if you take advantage of the time and make the most of it. I will talk about some ways in today's podcast here on Casting Beyond The Sea.