In today's episode, I am talking to Alani Bankhead. Alani knows something about feminism because she has spent the last 20 years as a woman in a predominantly male profession, hunting spies, terrorists, and child sex traffickers. She was even assigned to be the senior bodyguard to a top Pentagon official. She understands how to level the inequity of the job force and how to use her femininity as her superpower. Alani is a public speaker and life coach who helps people overcome imposter syndrome, something many women struggle with and empowers her clients to live their best lives. Friends, Alani is one of humanity's biggest cheerleaders. It was an absolute joy speaking with her!

Today, I am talking to the former Chair of New Zealand's Labour Women's Caucus, Sarah Pallett. Sarah reached out to me after she read an article I published in the HuffPost. When she introduced herself, I almost fell out of my chair. I had read about Sarah, I knew her name, and I knew she served under New Zealand's former Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. This was one hell of a feminist, and she was writing to me! How could I not ask her to be on the podcast? This powerhouse of a woman and politician knows her stuff. She is one massive dose of joy and wisdom. Together, we talk about some common sense feminism. Specifically we discuss: The intersectionality of feminism with housing and global warmingWomen's health and abortionThe gender pay gapRespect and representation  Sarah made me laugh and think deeply at the same. This is the mark of a wise leader and teacher. This convo will stay in my heart for a long time! Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ Creative Commons CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Today, I am talking to the former Chair of New Zealand's Labour Women's Caucus, Sarah Pallett. Sarah reached out to me after she read an article I published in the HuffPost. When she introduced herself, I almost fell out of my chair. I had read about Sarah, I knew her name, and I knew she served under New Zealand's former Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. This was one hell of a feminist, and she was writing to me! How could I not ask her to be on the podcast? This powerhouse of a woman and politician knows her stuff. She is one massive dose of joy and wisdom. Together, we talk about some common sense feminism. Specifically we discuss: The intersectionality of feminism with housing and global warmingWomen's health and abortionThe gender pay gapRespect and representation  Sarah made me laugh and think deeply at the same. This is the mark of a wise leader and teacher. This convo will stay in my heart for a long time!

In this episode, I am talking to Samantha Martin, founder of the Femmish organization. Samanatha uses research to bring awareness around femme phobia- the systematic devaluing of femininity that people engage in when they police feminine qualities in others. This is an excellent conversation about how the world looks down on most things feminine and refuses to allow people assigned male at birth to embrace anything feminine but yet expects women to embrace femininity only to use it as a launching point of degradation. We discuss: The Femish Organization The double standard of femininity vs. masculinity Trusting other people's experiences The devaluing of feminine professions Toys from the Pink aisle The value of research Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ Creative Commons CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Yes, October and Spooks have passed, but this conversation was too good to not visit again! Oh Friends,  This episode is a good one. It conjures up women dancing around bonfires, chanting, mixing positions, invoking curses and being gagged, bound, and hung.  The Salem Witch Trials.  I wanted to include this topic on Stark Conversations because this is the apex of women being accused of nothing more than being women.  Because there was no chanting, no curses cast, no brooms ridden. Instead, what we find are just people. Every day community members using their voices when wronged, dressing for themselves instead of society, breaking stereotypes, and challenging religious oppression. All topics that feminism embodies. All topics women are judged for in 2023. The lessons we glean from the trials still resonate today. What are we actually doing when we judge others? Deem them as “weak souls,” decide they need Christianity and force testimony and religious doctrine on them? What damage are we inflicting when we make graceless assumptions instead of loving inquiries? Although the Salem Witch Trials happened over 400 years ago, it feels as though humanity has only taken 10 steps forward. We are still judging women, dictating what they should and should not wear, demanding they yield to their husbands, telling them they are the “lesser” and “weaker” partner, and still telling them they are too much, too loud, and overreacting.  Listen to my conversation with the energetic Dr. Wendy Lucas, Salem Witch Trial Extraordinaire, as she talks with me about this time in history. She answers all my questions and then some. We laugh in utter disbelief and empathize with those who were gaslit into believing they could be the devilish witch their neighbors accuse them of being. But most of all, we discuss the wisdom we can take from this confusing and painful time and use it to give humanity advocacy, equity, and healing. Specifically, Dr. Lucas explains:  What circumstances led to accusations of witchcraft.  Why women were viewed as a necessary evil. If the afflicted girls were really having convulsions. The reasons why people, specifically women, were accused of witchcraft. Why gender roles and societal expectations are so crucial to Puritans. Moral Stewardship and how quickly it can get out of hand. The idea of a feminine soul How the trials ended. What amends were made to the accused? What lessons can we learn from this time in history? Friends, I promise this is a good one. As always, if you enjoy it, please leave a review!  Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ Creative Commons CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Trigger warning: Sexual and gender based violence Today, I am discussing a recent paper published by Dr. Treena Orchard that explores the subjectivity of safety on one college campus. According to Dr. Orchard's research: 20 to 43% of women and 3 to 29% of men attending American universities have been sexually victimized. In some Canadian provinces, as many as 63% of female students have experienced sexual harassment. Our conversation centers on: How to listen with a feminist earThe subjectivity of safetyHow safety is set up for the privilegeHow this study is a reflection of how our society views and handles the ideas of safetyHow blurring the lines of acceptable behavior leads to violenceWhy do we need to listen to women when they raise concerns over catcalling and being followed by menWhat Generation Z is doing to create a safer future for themselvesEnergetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

Today, on Stark Conversations, I discuss the devaluing of girls and women in the legal system with Jennifer Toon, the Project Director for Lioness Justice Impacted Women’s Alliance. A nonprofit led by formerly incarcerated women who envision a society where all women are spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically free from violence and harm in the criminal legal system.  Our conversation focuses on: The unique issues girls and women face when they enter and exit the legal system. How investments in intervention prevent acts of survival that many commit that end in incarceration. Menstruation, White Uniforms and shaming in prisons Child Birth in Prisons There is a need for more resources for many women and girls in the legal system compared to men. The extreme lack of temperature control and ready access to water in the prison system. If 95-97% of incarcerated people are released, why are we denying them the resources to heal and recover while incarcerated? Jennifer reminds us that prison is a consequence, not a form of torture designed to dehumanize inmates. The saving grace of sisterhood with incarcerated women.

Today, I am talking with writer Christine Morrison. After working for Olay and Calvin Klein, Christine has become a writer with a mission and purpose to focus on fashion as it relates to our identity and well-being. She writes that she is "committed to exploring and exposing the grey areas that burden us all in fashion, beauty and wellness. Oft through the lens of aging."  Christine wants to help "consumers be informed, not influenced."  Together, she and I wade through the question of how you embrace beauty culture without losing your soul to it, especially as an aging woman.  Specifically, we discuss: How to apply a “less is more” philosophy to the beauty industry The parallels between Botox and fillers with exercise and healthy eating How Christine stepped out of writing for the beauty industry Exploring the grey areas and paradoxes of beauty and aging Has youth preserving measures made us afraid of aging? The privileges of aging Fashion as a form of identity How to get your soul back if you sold it to the beauty industry Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

Hello Friends, In Part 2 of Sexual Harassment, I take you with me as I reclaim my walks on the beach. This episode is a series of recordings I took when I decided it was time for me to go back to where the harassment occurred. I attempted to be candid and genuine in my thoughts and emotions. This is an exercise in understanding the pain and hurt that sexual harassment causes. Even the simplest acts of harassment can leave deep wounds. This is not an opportunity to judge or dismiss. Instead, it is an opportunity to witness, hold space, and understand the need to believe, empathize, and advocate for others. Thanks for listening. Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

Hello Friends, Trigger warning: this episode is about sexual harassment.  This episode is a two-parter and a bit different than the others. This is just me talking about an incident of sexual harassment that occurred not too long ago that has left me with many thoughts, revelations, and emotions. Although I am still working through some issues, I wanted to discuss it now.  In this episode, I share what happened, how I felt, how traumatic feelings have affected my brain and body, and how I am attempting to recover and reclaim. This episode is a rough edit. I left it raw because this is what it feels like to be harassed, and our society has trained those who identify as women to swallow it, play it off, or ignore it. There isn't that much empathy for the victim. People must understand how sexual harassment hurts. It is one of the many reasons we need feminism. Thanks for listening. Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

Hello Friends, Today I am re-releasing three conversations that I had two years ago with my daughter, Izzy. We recorded these conversations as a mini-podcast and released them on the Instagram account for my business Grace & Grit. However, I thought they were timely for this podcast. While attempting to raise a strong, confident daughter, I wanted to know three things from Z: What was something I got wrong? What did she need from me that I failed to give her?What did I get right? What was the thing that I instilled in her that was most helpful?In general, what do parents of girls need to keep in mind when raising strong confident daughters? I think these conversations are important as we raise the next generation of feminists. When we can cross generational lines we become stronger advocates for one another. These talks keep us wise and grounded as we further the reach of feminism. Parents of littles, there will come a time when you look at your kids and think, who is this inspiring adult? How did I get so lucky? This convo is an example of how Z impresses me. I love the way she calls me to the carpet. These are important moments in the relationships of parent and child. As you listen, these conversations were released individually, please keep in mind these separate convos have been edited together for Stark Conversations. Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

Hello friends and welcome back to another Stark Conversation. Today I am learning about a nonprofit in Morocco called Project Soar. It was founded by Maryam Montague. Maryam, a fierce feminist, shares with me how and why she started Project Soar. In doing so, she dives into the ways feminism has helped the girls in her community and highlights some of the issues they face. Specifically, Maryam speaks about: How loopholes in Moroccan law still allow for child marriage- an issue that is still relevant in the United States. How vital period care is for the girls in her community. How the girls in Project Soar are learning to advocate for themselves. The impact feminism is making on mothers and daughters in her area. Although Project Soar started in Morocco, its impact has been so powerful that it now serves girls in Uganda and Syria. This conversation is the perfect illustration of how feminism is a path of empowerment for girls and women all over the world!  Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

Hello Friends,  Welcome back! This episode is Part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Martha Rampton. Today we are talking about waves 3 and 4 of Feminism. In particular, we discuss how the 3rd wave deconstructed the words slut and whore while reclaiming feminine sexuality and beauty which significantly contrasts with the 2nd wave.  We ponder the beginning of the 4th wave. Did it start because of politics, or was it already brewing and the political heat of 2016 galvanized the movement? We also discuss how 4th wave feminists have a "come as you are" and "you do you" mindset. Dr. Rampton turns the tables on me. She asks about my involvement with feminism. We discuss how I found it and where I land in the movement. We even dive into my struggles with beauty culture. YIKES! Stay tuned, friends. This episode is a historical and philosophical conversation all rolled into one!

If you are a history buff, then the next two episodes of Stark Conversations are for you. We are getting a lesson about the 4 waves of feminism with Dr. Martha Rampton! This episode is a two-parter because you simply can’t fit the history of feminism into an hour. In fact, we could barely fit it into two hours. So I am sitting down with Dr. Martha Rampton from Pacific University, who wrote a fabulous article on the waves of feminism in the U.S. Dr. Rampton clearly explains the history of feminism in the U.S., highlighting the critical events, the friction between the women, and the outcomes.  In part one, we talk about the Cult of Domesticity, suffrage, what happened to the women after the 19th amendment passed, and where did they go? Then we move into the second wave. We discuss the circumstances that started it. Who were the woman that made up the backbone of the movement, the rebellion of beauty culture, the shortcomings of the middle-class white women in the second wave, and the splintered but effective progress made by the second wave. Stick with me; this is a weighty discussion because, friends, history repeats itself, so we better pay attention to this Stark Conversation.

Oh Friends,  This episode is a good one. It conjures up women dancing around bonfires, chanting, mixing positions, invoking curses and being gagged, bound, and hung.  The Salem Witch Trials.  I wanted to include this topic on Stark Conversations because this is the apex of women being accused of nothing more than being women.  Because there was no chanting, no curses cast, no brooms ridden. Instead, what we find are just people. Every day community members using their voices when wronged, dressing for themselves instead of society, breaking stereotypes, and challenging religious oppression. All topics that feminism embodies. All topics women are judged for in 2023. The lessons we glean from the trials still resonate today. What are we actually doing when we judge others? Deem them as “weak souls,” decide they need Christianity and force testimony and religious doctrine on them? What damage are we inflicting when we make graceless assumptions instead of loving inquiries? Although the Salem Witch Trials happened over 400 years ago, it feels as though humanity has only taken 10 steps forward. We are still judging women, dictating what they should and should not wear, demanding they yield to their husbands, telling them they are the “lesser” and “weaker” partner, and still telling them they are too much, too loud, and overreacting.  Listen to my conversation with the energetic Dr. Wendy Lucas, Salem Witch Trial Extraordinaire, as she talks with me about this time in history. She answers all my questions and then some. We laugh in utter disbelief and empathize with those who were gaslit into believing they could be the devilish witch their neighbors accuse them of being. But most of all, we discuss the wisdom we can take from this confusing and painful time and use it to give humanity advocacy, equity, and healing. Specifically, Dr. Lucas explains:  What circumstances led to accusations of witchcraft.  Why women were viewed as a necessary evil. If the afflicted girls were really having convulsions. The reasons why people, specifically women, were accused of witchcraft. Why gender roles and societal expectations are so crucial to Puritans. Moral Stewardship and how quickly it can get out of hand. The idea of a feminine soul How the trials ended. What amends were made to the accused? What lessons can we learn from this time in history? Friends, I promise this is a good one. As always, if you enjoy it, please leave a review!  Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ Creative Commons CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Friends,  This episode is one where we get to be students of Dr. AnaLouise Keating as she helps us understand the kaleidoscope of views that make up Feminist Theory. Dr. AnaLouise Keating is a wealth of intellect. She is one of those and/both spirits. She lives in the in-between, the gray spaces of life. Her work is proof of this.  I was drawn to her because of how she approaches feminism and its multiple layers. She observes how the paradoxes of feminism work or don't work together. Still, she is more interested in finding where they connect. Where the "like" experience is. She explains feminism and womanism and gives insight into the Intersectionality of Feminism with women of color and Queer Theory. She describes how we experience the world both from where we live and from inside our bodies. She beckons the communion and the divine of feminism while respecting the many viewpoints of it. Dr. Keating helps us understand how very layered true equality actually is.  She emphasizes to understand another's spirit, we must understand their lived experiences. This is a keystone value in the feminist way of life. Her ability to hold the paradoxes of humanity makes her a keystone feminist.  Here are some timecodes to tune into: 4:49: Dr. Keating reminds us how feminism has many definitions. 6:06: We learn how feminism helps us look at the injustice in the world. 11:00: She helps us understand the differences and similarities between Womanist and/or Feminist. 14:12: She teaches us how to enter humanity's uncomfortable "border" spaces. 16:08: Dr. Keating explains Queer Theory and feminism. 18:18: We learn the advantage of living in the "In-between" or and/both areas of life. 20:36: We discuss how to resolve conflict from an and/both way of thinking as well as the pitfalls of defining ourselves by an "anti" or "not that" mentality. 24:43: Women are spiritual beings. YES, PLEASE! 31:37: We learn about Theory in the Flesh 33:15: Intersectionality of Feminism and why it needs understanding. 38:55 Dr. Keating tells us about her research on Indigenous People and feminism. She also discusses how Indigenous people living near Seneca Falls, NY, may have influenced our feminist foremothers during the suffrage movement.  This is an incredible conversation. Please pull up a chair and join us. Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ Creative Commons CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

You know the moment when the vulnerability pays off? When you get the ask, and relief floods your system? That was the gift that Jodi Bondi Norgaard gave me. I have followed this feminist for years, quietly liking her posts, pursuing her website and admiring her work. Jodi says the things I am thinking. She speaks them with matter-of-fact wisdom that only comes from thorough research. When I asked her to help kick-start this podcast by being my first guest, she didn't hesitate. I got an answer that very day. She was the woman I knew would give me straight-up hard facts about feminism that would set the tone and feel for this podcast. She came correct. She is a fierce ally of women. I wanted the first episode of Stark Conversations to lay the groundwork for feminism, to give a bird's-eye view of what feminism is and isn't. I wanted to present facts and examples, share knowledge and provide resources for those who want more information. This is what Jodi came correct again and again and again. For an hour, she delivered the goods I was seeking. Here are some time stamps to tune into: Jodi gives the perfect definition of feminism at 5:52. Want to know what books to read on Feminism? Take a listen- she lists them at 11:04. Do you want to give the men in your life ideas on how to best support women? Check out the podcast Jody recommends at 43:28. Want to know how to best support women- Amplify their voices and good ideas? Jodi shares how at 44:35. What's the issue we both feel is preventing women from global equality? Find out at 46:42. Curious about the Equal Rights Amendment Act, and what is the only constitutional right protecting women right now? Pay close attention at 49:25. Friends, this podcast comes complete. Stark Conversations with Jodi Bondi Norgaard- Feminism 101. It's a thorough listen. You can find Jodi at Website – www.jodibondinorgaard.com Social Media https://twitter.com/jodinorgaard https://www.facebook.com/jodinorgaard/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodinorgaard/ https://www.instagram.com/jodibondinorgaard/

Hello Friends! We are changing things up here and going in a different direction. We are still amplifying women's voices but taking things a little deeper by exploring the very movement that has given women back their power so that they can tell their stories and raise their voices, Feminism. Join Heather as she explores feminism from its roots to its present-day perceptions in all facets of life. Her goal is to create a community of feminists that are redefining beauty culture, learning to use their voices, loving themselves and striving to empower the next generation of women. Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ Creative Commons CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

This is our last Beauty Conversations and, of course, we saved the best for last. In this episode, we discuss fashion, clothing sizes, and our bodies. Then at the end, I interview my sweet niece Maggie, who, although eight years old, maybe the wisest of us all! There is a trigger warning. This may not be the episode for you if you have body concerns or issues. Here are some time codes for you to tune into: 16:48: Bops and I get very real about the negative thoughts that circle our brains when we shop. 20:32: We talk about how women's bodies became fashion statements and whether this is good or bad, or perhaps it's both. 28:41: We discuss the faulty thinking that losing weight means we can finally love and accept our bodies. 38:40: We discuss the hurt caused when grown women take to social media to judge a 17-year-old's homecoming dress. These types of posts happen in almost every community and need to stop. 43:38: Please listen to Bops and my reaction when Z says she loves her body by giving it rest. You would have thought we had never heard that idea before! 52:18: Words from the wisest child I know. 59:18: Loving advice from my sister to her daughter. Thanks for listening!

We are continuing our talk about beauty culture and my new book, Her Story: A Heartfelt and Hilarious Conversation About Why Beauty Milestones Should Be Options and Not Expectations.  Today we are talking about hair. Why we choose the styles we do, how hair helps us express who we are and what we are living through, and how hair can help us cope.