Check out a special bonus episode of Slow Train to Heck where I interview Mindy, the creator of The Divorced Virgin Project, about her experience growing up in purity culture and how leaving it motivated her to create this resource for others who are trying to figure out how to deal with the fallout of purity culture in their own lives.The Divorced Virgin Project brings together dedicated psychotherapists and specialists, including divorce coaches, financial advisors, sex educators, and more, providing accessible content to help victims of purity culture to heal.Check out The Divorced Virgin Project at thedivorcedvirginproject.com, @thedivorcedvirginproject on Instagram, or The Divorced Virgin Project on Facebook.Background music in this episode was provided by:Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Welcome to the finale of a podcast about people, sharing their stories of deconstruction and leaving behind toxic religious systems... so what happens next? I've got one more story for you.Podcast episode about Hegel's God: https://www.philosophizethis.org/podcast/hegels-godSlow Train To Heck - the Substack: https://slowtraintoheck.substack.comThank you all for listening for the past two years. It has meant the world.

In this final conversation on Slow Train To Heck, Matt and Mandy Ottaway share the story of their lives together: Growing up in evangelicalism, attending Moody Bible Institute, getting into youth ministry in their early 20s... eventually with Matt realizing the restrictive intellectual cage that his ministry position required and Mandy experiencing the burnout of a life dedicated to church ministries while trying to raise their kids. After leaving ministry, they discovered what the world outside of "required belief" was like, and the freedom to be able to "deconstruct", to learn, to grow, and to change.

Matthew Burkholder joins the podcast to share his experience of growing up immersed in purity culture, starting all the way back as a kid in a Christian bookstore surrounded by the key texts of that ideology. We talk about the lasting damage that can be done by teaching children to hate the natural things that make them human, and the subsequent roadblocks that are created that can get in the way of healthy spirituality. We also chat about his journey into academia, as he's now working on his PhD in Theological Studies through Wycliffe College, how that has affected his faith, and why he's made the decision to step away from the label "evangelical".Content warnings: self-harm, suicideTheology Jam, Matthew's podcast with Dr. Jon Korkidakis: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/theology-jam/id1577928391

Olivia Grigg shares her experience of Christianity and the spiritual trauma that it caused her, and gives her take on religious trauma as a whole from her perspective as a social worker and counsellor focused on helping people navigate changing beliefs, deconstruction, and that religious trauma. She discusses how many church environments force us to betray ourselves in many ways, from an early age, and normalize the lack of boundaries, portraying that lack of boundaries and submission to church authority as a necessary prerequisite to community. Additionally, she dives into the normalization of physical abuse of children in the form of spanking, how that abuse is advocated by Christian groups like Focus on the Family, and how that can have long-lasting effects even into adulthood.Content warnings: traumatic religious experiences, physical abuse of childrenFind Olivia on Instagram at @oliviagrigg.rsw, or her website https://www.oliviagriggrsw.ca/.Resource list for further reading on Adverse Childhood Events provided by the CDC:https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/resources.htmlArticles describing evidence for spanking causing higher levels of stress for adults: https://scholarcommons.sc.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1533&context=senior_theseshttps://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0145213417300145?via%3DihubHillary McBride's Holy/Hurt Podcast:https://holyhurtpodcast.com/

Laurel talks about the link between dysfunctional families and dysfunctional fundamentalist churches, and how people in abusive situations who are desperate for love are reeled in by the promise of love from leaders who manipulate that desire for the purposes of control.She also shares her own story of growing up in an abusive environment and how she has since found freedom from environments that use fear as a method of control.Content warnings: physical and spiritual abuse of children, mental illness, depressionBooks Laurel mentioned:Bradshaw on The Family (John Bradshaw): https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/223513The Search For Significance (Robert S. McGee): https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/406464Further Along the Road Less Traveled (M. Scott Peck): https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/7371

This week I'm joined by Kevin Wilcox (see his previous appearance on the podcast in Episode 6) to talk about how you might be able to maintain or forge relationships "across the aisle" - is it possible for an evangelical and an exvangelical to be friends, and if so, how? What needs to be considered when entering into a relationship like that? What boundaries need to be established, what considerations need to be taken into account, and most importantly, how can we best love and care for ourselves and other people in the process?We chat about these questions and more in this episode!Content warnings: evangelical perspectives, Bible verses, a discussion about abortion debatesKevin's Carl Jung quote comes from the book Psychology and Religion: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/123636.Psychology_and_ReligionKevin's appearance on MBC's "Transforming Culture" podcast where he talks about deconstruction: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3VBJLpp4QzXlm4F8BMiLn6?si=FDnsA1q9RdeaSPHMb57Gxg

This week I had the pleasure of chatting with Jannah Rulfs, who grew up Pentecostal in Southwestern Ontario and has since left the church. Jannah has a lot of really insightful things to say about the anxiety and fear that Christianity generated in her as a young teenager, the challenges she has with some of what Christianity seems to require of young people in terms of evangelism and certainty, and how she relates to Christianity and Christians now in a positive way.

Alexandra and John share their experiences growing up Christian and the fear-based narratives they lived within. Eventually, they entered the mission field, living in China for some time, and eventually worked for Christian nonprofits. What they saw in these arenas further confirmed what they had grown up experiencing of Christianity - the system is broken. The way Christianity said Christians would act was not at all how the Christians in their lives were acting - even worse than "the world" in many cases - and this caused them to question whether the church really had a role to play in their lives.Content warnings: binge drinking, homophobia

Cassy shares her story and talks about her mental illness and sexual assault, and processing these heavy things while also processing her faith deconstruction. Cassy is an incredibly strong person who has come through a lot of really hard things, and I hope her strength inspires you as much as it did me.Please take note of the content warnings below and mentioned in the opening, as this episode digs into a few things in detail.Content warnings: sexual assault, mental illness, self-harm, suicide, eating disorders, trichotillomania, homophobiaCassy's essay "Should You Report Your Sexual Assault?": https://drive.google.com/file/d/197D8L5nUMKSwbQFtEGYI6f8gTfrK_kCl/view?usp=share_linkCassy's Suicide Safety Plan Template: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-shzbtb-CYu8CEqxYWUIrQ6om3QKGBVb/edit?usp=share_link&ouid=112809201114914334694&rtpof=true&sd=trueOlivia Grigg's Instagram: @oliviagrigg.rswOlivia Grigg Counselling Services: https://www.oliviagriggrsw.ca/

The Slow Train is back, and with it comes David Hayward, a.k.a. the Naked Pastor. David is a former pastor who has since become an artist, creating amazing paintings and cartoons that challenge aspects of religious environments in ways that provoke conversations - in fact he's recently released a collection of cartoons called Flip it Like This which you can check out right now and put it on your coffee table if you want to spark some conversations of your own. He's also an author, having written 10 books including one of my favourites, Til Doubt Do Us Part, about changing beliefs and their impact within marriage. David and I chat about his own deconstruction, and the multiple facets that are contained within deconstruction - not just theologically, but also ecclesiologically, as people often find themselves needing to deconstruct what church was to them and find their way outside of those community spaces. We also talk about what healthy spiritual growth is, not letting others impose their agendas on our deconstruction, and the importance of enjoying the current moment you find yourself in along your journey.---Check out the Naked Pastor at nakedpastor.com or @nakedpastor on Instagram!----I mentioned Carly Butler's Patreon in the podcast endnotes - here's a link to that as well: https://www.patreon.com/CarlyButler

Walter Schultz hops on the Slow Train to Heck to share his story of being required to attend church as a child, the confusion that caused him when presented with two wildly opposed worldviews between Sunday School and public school, and how his relationship with his mother was what ultimately helped him escape that world and leave it behind.Content warnings: spousal abuse, generational trauma, residential schools/church abuse, the holocaust

This week Marie Wall shares her story of joining, living in, and ultimately Escaping the Church of God fundamentalist Christian cult in Aylmer, Ontario. She shares her harrowing experience of being slowly worn down by the church until she joined, then being brainwashed to believe that there was no hope for her outside their walls. After a deep descent into depression, she was able to escape and has never been happier. Content warnings: significant spiritual and religious abuse, physical abuse of children, depression, suicideIf you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call for help. Canada's suicide hotline is 18334564566 or can be texted at 45645.

Jake Kroeker chats with us this week about his time at Trinity Bible Chapel, a fundamentalist evangelical church in the Waterloo Region of Ontario that has been increasingly positioning itself at the forefront of a growing Christian Nationalist movement among evangelical churches here in Canada. Jake talks about what motivates people who adhere to Trinity and churches like it, what his path out of that environment was, and how we can interact with people who hold those beliefs without further fanning the flames of their extremism.Content warnings:  homophobic and transphobic slurs are referenced, as used by leadership at Trinity Bible Chapel

We rejoin Luke Williams this week as he shares the remainder of his story, detailing the changes in his life after he left Christianity. Luke covers a whole bunch of life experiences and viewpoints, including exploring polyamorous relationships and cannabis and other drugs; working with the homeless, and organizing conventions; inconsistencies in the Bible and the human influence on its creation; and how his personal politics and views of society and people have been influenced by leaving Christianity. Content warnings: drug useLuke provided some show notes as well, which are as follows:Music Stuff:-The Plok Soundtrack (Starting from Beach when it gets good!) - https://youtu.be/0JVJP6te8n4?t=1053-Sammus' powerful rap about inclusion at Magfest 2016 - https://youtu.be/Ss18rvfkCd0?t=2137-Earthbound Song 'Happy Happy Is Blue' - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReKd5LpEOQc-Jacob Collier's Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9CusMKhoqk-Phil Keaggy - The Reunion - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC4om10cfWw-And for the very brave: Luke's Spotify Top 20 VERY Wild Favourite Songs- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Nrowj6IYnIkRkel83hHDmLuke recommends the following Leftist Podcasts:For informative deep dives on misinformation: Citations Needed - https://citationsneeded.libsyn.com/For improv comedy stories from history from two leftists comedians: The Dollop - https://www.dolloppodcast.com/podcastFor the murder podcast fan; but more important to know about: Behind the Bastards - https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/For a scripted podcast about potential solutions: Unf*cking the Republic - https://www.unftr.com/And check out what an Israeli Kibbutz can look like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ies2R__4c58 (not prescriptive, just fascinating...) Luke is @lessashamed on Twitter, and he would love to know what you thought about his story. E-mail him: cheflwilliams AT gmail DOT com

Luke Williams joins the Slow Train to Heck to share his journey through and out of Christianity. Luke has lived through many different experiences in his life, and the message of suffering, and the expectation of suffering both now and in the future, was a strong one. However, Luke was able to move beyond that message and share his story with us now.I'm a big believer in people being able to share all of themselves and their whole story, and Luke and I realized that his story needed two parts to be told in full. This episode is Part One, and Part Two will be released on October 19th.Content warnings: homophobia, medical situationsLuke provided some show notes as well, which are as follows:Music Stuff:-The Plok Soundtrack (Starting from Beach when it gets good!) - https://youtu.be/0JVJP6te8n4?t=1053-Sammus' powerful rap about inclusion at Magfest 2016 - https://youtu.be/Ss18rvfkCd0?t=2137-Earthbound Song 'Happy Happy Is Blue' - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReKd5LpEOQc-Jacob Collier's Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9CusMKhoqk-Phil Keaggy - The Reunion - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC4om10cfWw-And for the very brave: Luke's Spotify Top 20 VERY Wild Favourite Songs- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Nrowj6IYnIkRkel83hHDmLuke recommends the following Leftist Podcasts:For informative deep dives on misinformation: Citations Needed - https://citationsneeded.libsyn.com/For improv comedy stories from history from two leftists comedians: The Dollop - https://www.dolloppodcast.com/podcastFor the murder podcast fan; but more important to know about: Behind the Bastards - https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/For a scripted podcast about potential solutions: Unf*cking the Republic - https://www.unftr.com/And check out what an Israeli Kibbutz can look like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ies2R__4c58 (not prescriptive, just fascinating...) Luke is @lessashamed on Twitter, and he would love to know what you thought about his story. E-mail him: cheflwilliams AT gmail DOT com

Andrew Benson is a freelance writer, entrepreneur, pastor, and hiking enthusiast, who has worked in ministry all over Canada. Andrew and I have a great chat in this episode about what deconstruction looks like as a pastor, what deconstruction means to him, how interacting with people of other beliefs and cultures has impacted the way he sees things now, and what it might look like to hold things gently after redefining our beliefs.

Carly Butler is an indigenous woman who was born in the US, but now lives in British Columbia. Carly grew up in a Christian environment characterized by fear: Fear of government, fear of persecution, and most of all, the fear of the apocalypse. That fear drove her mother to take her to Canada to escape the coming tribulation, and things progressed from there. Carly's life is an amazing story of resilience in the face of overwhelming trauma, and I'm really honoured that she's chosen to share it with us!Content warnings: acute religious trauma, apocalypse fear, Covid conspiracies, homophobia, colonization and genocide of indigenous people, residential schools, the pope's 'apology' tourCarly's article about residential schools and the Doctrine of Discovery: https://looselipsmag.com/narratives/anger-residential-schools-and-the-tragically-hip/Carly's article about the pandemic and its effects on her family: https://carlyhutton.medium.com/the-kids-are-not-all-right-c9084303b82cGoFundMe for Carly's family: https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-the-button-family

Amanda joins us this week to talk about her exit from the church and how she never fit the mold the church wants her to. She also shares her experiences as a mom of autistic children, and the challenges of being part of a church community who expected her kids to act a certain way - and how her and her kids' experience of Christianity caused her to feel like a failed Christian, and how the framework of evangelicalism had a negative impact on her mental health. Content warnings: ableism in the church, particularly prejudice against autistic people, as well as discussions around anxiety and depression

Rev. Sarah Heath, author, designer, pastor, life coach, and host of great podcasts like Revcovery, joins us on the Slow Train to Heck this week.  Sarah grew up in Ontario working at Christian camp where she discovered her own innate leadership skills which would eventually translate to her being a great leader in church ministry. When she moved to the Bible Belt in the USA, she encountered a different version of Christianity than the one she was used to in Canada. Sarah shares her story of navigating American Christianity while moving up in the ministry world as a "professional Christian", becoming the "Pastor Sarah" persona while losing touch with how to be "Sarah" - until she eventually left formal Christian ministry and was able to rediscover who Sarah is outside of that environment. Check out REVCovery: https://www.irreverent.fm/show/revcovery/Connect with Sarah: https://revsarahheath.com/The Brian McLaren book Sarah mentioned: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/58724954-do-i-stay-christian