God designed the marriage relationship to be the most intimate of all. Yet, sometimes we don't feel the closeness and connection we'd like to experience with our spouses. In this episode, I offer three practical strategies you can begin to implement today, which I guarantee will help you grow closer and more connected to each other.Here are the key biblical references I mention in this episode:“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)“You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” (James 1:19)“Speaking the truth in love…” (Ephesians 4:15)“Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” (Matthew 6:21)“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”  (James 4:8)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

We all have our fears-we may not even be aware of some of them. They're impacting our lives more than we realize, and we tend to try to cope with them in unhelpful, unhealthy ways. In this episode, I share some healthy responses to fear, and explain how God can help us deal with it.“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God;I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”(Isaiah 41:10)“I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”(Psalm 34:4)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Marriage is challenging for all of us, because no spouse is perfect. But, some spouses are extremely difficult- even to the point of being "toxic." In this episode, I describe characteristics of a toxic spouse, and I offer some practical strategies to implement to help you cope in a very difficult situation.Some excerpts from the Bible describing God's plan for marriage:“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” (1 Cor. 13:4-5)“wives…submit to your husbands as to the Lord…husbands…love your wives…as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her…husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies…each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Eph. 5:22-33)“…husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together…Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Temptation is something we all deal with. What makes it so difficult? What can we do to avoid giving in to it? How can God help us? In this episode, I offer some answers to these critical questions.Jesus' challenge to do "whatever it takes" to avoid giving in to temptation can be found in Matthew 5:29-30.God's promise to get us out of any temptation we face can be found in I Corinthians 10:13.The apostle Paul’s encouragement to us to fill our minds with good things can be found in Philippians 4:8.Paul’s experience with his "thorn in the flesh" is discussed in II Corinthians chapter 12:7-10.God's invitation for us to come to him boldly is recorded Hebrews 4:15-16.If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Do you ever feel confused, ashamed, or frustrated about how you feel? Have you ever wondered why you feel a certain way? Are you struggling with how to deal with your emotions? Should you deny them, ignore them, or go with them? In this episode, I address the issue of what to do with our feelings, and how we can learn to manage them in a godly, biblical way.Here's what God says about our hearts:"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind" (Jeremiah 17:9-10).Some instances when Jesus exhibited various emotions:John 11:1-44 (the death of Lazarus)Luke 22:39-46; Matthew 26:36-46 (Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane)John 2:13-17; Matthew 21:12-13 (Jesus clears our the temple)Jesus understands what we go through:"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet He did not sin" (Hebrews 4:15).David's prayer can be ours as well:"Create in me a clean heart, O Lord" (Psalm 51:10).If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Have you been through a tough season of suffering? Are you experiencing significant suffering right now? In this episode, I wrestle with why we suffer, and share realities about suffering that can help us get through it.Some of the Scripture I reference in this episode:“Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy” (1 Peter 4:12-13).“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3-4).“For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps” (1 Peter 2:21).“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, & establish you”  (1 Peter 5:10).“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4).“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction…” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Are you struggling with feelings of loneliness? All of us do. In this episode, I explain how, with God's help, you can not only cope with these feelings, but even allow Him to use them for good in your life. Some of the biblical references I use in this episode include:Psalm 31:1 (David's cry to the Lord)Matthew 27:46 (Jesus' cry to His Father)Psalm 139 (your homework!)Psalm 145:18 (God's promise to those who call on Him)I encourage you to read more about the life and ministry of Elizabeth Elliot.If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

What makes you mad? How do you handle your angry feelings? Is it sometimes OK to get angry? What does God say about anger? In this episode, I examine reasons we get angry, I discuss "righteous" vs. "unrighteous" anger, and I share some practical strategies to help you better manage your angry feelings.Some of the Scriptural references included in this episode:“People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.” (Proverbs 14:29, NLT)“Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” (James 1:20, NLT)“But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.” (Jesus - Matthew 5:22, NLT)“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26, ESV)“God is a just judge, and God is angry with the wicked every day.” (Psalm 7:11, NKJV)“And when He had looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts, He said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored as whole as the other.”(Mark 3:5, NKJV)“But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, ‘Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.’”(Mark 10:14, NKJV)“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” (Proverbs 16:32, ESV)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

The holidays are often a difficult season for many of us. One in which we experience a variety of emotions.  We can be torn between how we want to feel, what we think we should feel, and what we actually experience. In this episode, I examine some specific reasons why our holidays can be so difficult. I also present three intentional strategies we can implement to help us better enjoy them.The biblical references mentioned in this episode include:"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33)."But let your 'yes' be 'yes,' and your 'no,' 'no.' For whatever is more than these is from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37)."If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth" (Colossians 3:1-2).If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Are you feeling stuck in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship that seems like it’s never going to get better? Do you sometimes feel no matter how hard you try, you can never change? In this episode, I examine five ways in which you might be contributing to your own problems, and I offer some practical suggestions for how, with God’s help, you can move forward.Biblical references I mention in this episode:“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him,and He will direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)“When pride comes, then comes shame;But with the humble is wisdom.” (Proverb 11:2)“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”(James 4:6)“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)“Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.” (Psalm 51:6)“Search me, God, and know my heart;Put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts;And see if there is any hurtful way in me,And lead me in the everlasting way.”(Psalm 139:23-24)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

What is the "secret" to being emotionally healthy? Why are some relationships better and more satisfying than others? How come some people are so much easier to get along with than others (and, vice-versa)? In this episode, I discuss the one essential factor I believe answers these questions. The bad news is not everyone has it; but, the good news is each of us can develop it.  Here are some of the Scripture references I include in this episode:“Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.” (Psalm 51:6)“Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”(Proverbs 4:23)“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”  (Jesus - Matthew 7:1-5)The heart is deceitful above all things,And desperately wicked; Who can know it?I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind” (Jeremiah 17:9-10).“Every way of a man is right in his own eyes,But the Lord weighs the hearts.”(Proverbs 21:2)“Search me, O God, and know my heart;Try me, and know my anxieties;And see if there is any wicked way in me,And lead me in the way everlasting”(Psalm 139:23-24).If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

If you could go back in time and tell your younger self the 3 most important things you need to know about marriage, what would you say? In this episode, I reveal what I would say. Whether you're not yet married but someday hope to be, you're newly married, or you've been married for a long time, I believe these 3 truths can revolutionize your perspective on marriage, and help you and your spouse enjoy your relationship more than you ever have before.Biblical references from this episode:1 Thessalonians 4:3Genesis 1:31Philippians 2:4John 1:16If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Are you struggling with anxiety? Do you ever wonder why you're so anxious? Are you frustrated and discouraged because you can't seem to get over it? In this episode, Robb analyzes  reasons why we experience anxiety, discusses what God, in His Word, says about anxiety, and shares several practical strategies to cope with it, including a surprising perspective you may not have considered before.Some of the biblical passages referred to in this episode are:"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God" (Philippians 4:6)."And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground" (Luke 22:44)."Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you,Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand" (Isaiah 41:10)."Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6)."Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).The exercise I mentioned to specifically cope with a panic attack is called the "333 Rule." Learn more about it at https://thriveworks.com/help-with/anxiety/what-is-3-3-3-rule-for-anxiety/.If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Do you sometimes feel frustrated, embarrassed, or ashamed about things you say or do? Do you ever wonder why you do things you don't want to do, and why you seem unable to change? In this episode, Robb discusses one primary reason we say and do things we wish we didn't. He talks about how our pasts influence our present, and what that can look like. And, he shares some practical steps we can take to get free from our pasts.In this episode, I reference the bible passages below which I encourage you to read, study, meditate upon, and even memorize. God can use these truths to help you view your past the way He does- and this can set you free.“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new” (Corinthians 5:17).“Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus”(Philippians 3:13-14).“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Are you in a relationship with, or married to, a narcissist? Are you looking for some help navigating this challenging relationship? In this episode, Robb shares  a biblical perspective on narcissism, discusses common narcissistic behaviors, explains why narcissists behave the way they do, and provides six specific strategies you can begin to implement right away to give you hope and help in your relationship and your life.Two books I recommend which I believe will be very helpful to you:"Is It Abuse" by Darby Strickland"Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and John TownsendIf you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

In this episode, Robb clarifies what pornography is, talks about the damage it can do in a person's life and relationships, and shares specific strategies you can take to begin to be set free from porn. He also addresses practical steps to take if you're involved with someone who is struggling with pornography.Notes from this episode:Jesus said looking at a woman and lusting after her is just like having sex with her in Matthew 5:28.Jesus said nothing is impossible with God in Matthew 19:26.The story of Jesus asking the disabled man if he wanted to be made well is found in John 5:1-15.Jesus talked about plucking out your eye and cutting off your hand to avoid temptation to sin in Matthew 5:29-30.Paul's story about asking God to remove his "thorn in the flesh" can be found in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10.The book I mentioned about overcoming addiction to pornography is:"Every Man's Battle" by Stephen Arterburn.If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

In this episode, Robb examines why being hurt by the church is so painful; he discusses six specific ways in which we can be hurt by the church; and, he shares some practical steps to take to begin to heal from these wounds.Jesus' instructions on what to do when we feel someone has sinned against us can be found in Matthew 18:15-17.If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

In this episode, Robb talks about how our relationship with our earthly father impact us in several critical ways; how we can be hurt by our fathers; and how, with God's help, we can begin the process of healing from our "father wounds." For specific, practical steps to begin the forgiveness process, check our episode 10: "How Can I Forgive Someone Who's Really Hurt Me?"Some of the attributes of our Heavenly Father:available“The Lord will hear when I call to Him.” (Psalm 4:3)benevolent “How much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him.” (Matthew 7:11)comforting“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation.” (2 Cor. 1:3-4)compassionate“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:13-14)caring“Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)Father“Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!” (1 John 3:1)faithful“For You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.” (Psalm 9:10)forgiving“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  (1 John 1:9)good“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!” (Psalm 34:8)generous“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”  (Matthew 7:11)gentle“He will feed His flock like a shepherd;  He will gather the lambs with His arm, and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young.” (Isaiah 40:11)guide“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)healer“Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; Save me, and I shall be saved, for You are my praise.”  (Jeremiah 17:14)just“God is a just judge.” (Psalm 7:11)kind“But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us.” (Titus 3:4-5)merciful“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.” (Psalm 103:8)refuge“The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.” (Psalm 9:9)righteous“For the Lord is righteous, He loves righteousness.” (Psalm 11:7)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

In this episode, Robb clarifies what forgiveness really means, shares why we need to forgive, and offers practical steps we can take to begin the process.Some Scriptural references from this episode include:“The wise see danger ahead and avoid it, but fools keep going and get into trouble.” (Proverbs 22:3)“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15)Matthew 18:21-35 (the story about the King and the servant)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

In this episode, Robb defines boundaries, shares practical steps on how to develop boundaries as a couple, explains how to share your boundaries with your parents and in-laws, and addresses what to do when they won't abide by them.Relevant Scripture references in this episode:Genesis 2:24 ("leave and cleave")Mark 3:31-35John 2:1-10 (wedding in Cana)Proverbs 25:17If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.