Over the Fence

The two parties just keep on coming. This wasn’t even an intentional one. This weeks episode ended up being a part two that we didn’t even know the world needed. Those of you that have been listening for awhile. Remember that we did a bonus episode called the art of conversation, which was an episode about the do's and don’ts of conversation, in its complicated, messy and sometimes down right awkward marvellousness. Well, apparently there was much more for us to say!  We stumbled upon it, when having a conversation with each other about the pitfalls that people can fall into in ‘big community’ when assumptions are made.So for the last time this season join as as we delve into another big issue from our different sides of the fence.Resources1. Table Manners podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2SZX2oyIXVvyqEtjQ6C6z5?si=D1ImP8CxSXa_zi3MYo3wYA2. Best Friend Therapy  s6 ep6: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3crYlhTujhOFshsdrjrdzb?si=U3od1J4GSnulF9xocPHxWw3. Bruce Tuckman’s theory on team formation: https://www.mindtools.com/abyj5fi/forming-storming-norming-and-performingOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

As promised, we are back with part two of the big issues deep dive with Sarah sharing some of her story from her side of the fence with regard to mental health stereotypes. As with last weeks episode the A+B=C formula was also an expectation for Sarah, get married have kids live happily ever after! Sarah shares candidly and with vulnerability as she speaks of the impact mental health stereotypes have had on her family life as her husband continues to battle PTSD and all of that comes with it.  As always we wanted to hold space for the conversation  but also to help with practical tips  for those wishing to be better equipped in their attempts to be of assistance:1. Drop the expectation that there will be a happy outcome2. Ask questions that create a space for open conversations and rather than an opportunity to give solutions3. Allow people to be where they are rather than trying to skip forward4. Grand gestures are good, but consistency is better5. Set at your store with regard to what support you can offer6. Just ask, don’t assume you know how best to help.Resources:1. Best Friend Therapy: Ep1 boundaries, what are they? - https://open.spotify.com/episode/3mIiYg04LDshddZJ4LmC9V?si=pb9piMCSTSCe_jW4tqfBTg2. Jay Shetty: killing ego: https://www.jayshetty.me/blog/jay-shetty-on-3-strategies-people-use-to-overcome-their-egoOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

Big Issues Deep Dive - part 1If you have been listening to the pod for awhile, you will know that authenticity is one of our buzz words, and in season four we wanted to wade a little deeper.  After a season of hearing the stories of fabulous  guests, we wanted this season to be  an opportunity to delve into our stories and an opportunity for us to drop the mask further and share more personally. We are loving a two parter this season!  In this episode Vangeya kick us off, giving us a peep over the fence sharing about her current ‘ big issue’ and what she is learning along the way.Resources1. Adam Grant: @adamgrant2. Article by Vangeya- Real vs imagined life: https://medium.com/@vangeyamhone/getting-to-know-you-series-9cd3f2e853b23. A Single Serving Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/0vVwbdT9RAppTSHeamR6S5?si=-d7FUcgSTM245kSTdIYBiQ4. Shani Silver’s book: A Single Revolution 5. The Art of Conversation: s1 bonus episode- Over the Fence: https://open.spotify.com/episode/49HRkGnyATVXsNCpXSCEqN?si=6pu-bVKoQfiOhoeR1diAGA6. Simon Sinek: what we need in crisis: https://m.youtube.com/shorts/VAXBrlIo5MgOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

The conversation from last week was so good we came back with a part two and in today’s episode we look at how to ‘friend through’ the hibernation seasons.This conversation is peppered with wisdom from those far wiser than ourselves and as always we list everything below. For this discussion in particular we would encourage you to have a look and listen through because it bud tough to navigate either side of this particular fence. Whether you are the friend struggling or the friend struggling to be let in to try and help.Wherever you are with your friendship we hope this two parter has been useful in helping you process and as always it us our greatest hope j that you have felt seen and a little less alone on your journey. Resources 1. New York Times article: How many friends do you really need? Catherine Pearson: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/07/well/live/adult-friendships-number.html2. Earlier Over the Fence episode referred to: ‘ A tricky decade’: https://open.spotify.com/episode/41N9S72WiyAb3gKCNxV7sq?si=2w-oVJLgSJ2CW7_21jd0vQ3. On introversion: a)how introverts can be socially conditioned to appear as extroverts- Best Friend Therapy s1 ep1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3mIiYg04LDshddZJ4LmC9V?si=yaYoPlTaTUKJkJcSkcQVaA b) Simon Sinek explains the difference between extroverts and introverts: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kXLVcGPlep44. David Richo: How to be an adult in relationships ( the 5 As of friendship)5. Adam Grant: @adamgrant - alignment not necessarily agreement 6. Simon Sinek: what we need in crisis: https://m.youtube.com/shorts/VAXBrlIo5MgOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

There is no denying that the quest for connection and belonging is strong and ongoing. When we were young, it seemed that friendships simply happened around us, but in this tricky decade, friendships often seem more to allude than abound.This episode seeks to explore questions we have grappled with: Why are friendships at this age so difficult? Is it that what we need in friendships is different or that what we can sustain is different?  We also explore what changes may have contributed to complexity of something that once seemed so simple.Don’t worry there is still the tom foolery and high jinks we know you expect from us! We kick off with some light relief as we attempt a friendship quiz, live!!!! If you thought quick fire was hilarious you are in for a treat!Resources 1. Friendship quiz - in true style we can't find the quiz we did .. but we are still looking!2. Are you getting enough hugs- Forbes.com: https://www.forbes.com/sites/christinecomaford/2020/08/22/are-you-getting-enough-hugs/?sh=2664646968da3. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-we-are-wired-to-connect/ scientific American: why we are wired to connectOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

Happy 2024!!This episode and indeed the new season kicks off with a massive dose of nostalgia about life in the 1900s, and the fear surrounding the Y2K bug! As ever your hosts have a right laugh, but we also get serious speaking candidly about New Year’s resolutions and whether or not that useful! Sarah and Vangeya share  their thoughts and where they have landed with them. In particular in relation to how they interact with that prized concept of radical self acceptance. Are Resolutions a weapon that is self-destructive or a tool was to achieve and better yourself?  Ultimately are ‘reflections and hopes’ for the coming year more useful? Speaking of reflections, the second half of the episode is a bit of a recap of season three as the hosts of share their best bits and what they took away from each of their wonderful guests before introducing the concept and hope for season 4. Entitled “the big issues” the season builds on the foundation of openness and authenticity all the guests brought in season three  and explores some of the sometimes thorny issues that life brings as we let go of the expectations and navigate the reality we face.Resource 1. Brene Brown on midlife: https://m.youtube.com/shorts/w20VDWG7UgE2. Tracey Duncan: Leaving it all on the track- S3 EP06 over the fence: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0A0woVsor0B0DRKanUnytd?si=R8Lz_IupR0K7K_PO1p2d1QOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

As promised here, we are with a bonus episode to complement season three! In this episode we hear from Stew Bewley an actor turned coach. As with all the guests from season 3 Stew drops copious knowledge bombs in the first few minutes and continues apace- leaving Sarah and Vangeya uncharacteristically lost for words as they digest all the gems and pearls of hard won wisdom. Gems such as the power of reflection, the significance of regular solitude, owning your successes and failures and most importantly Knowing what you uniquely bring. We thoroughly enjoyed our chat with Stew and know you will too. Resources1. Celia Imrie: The Happy Hoofer2. Raymond Kethledge and Michael Erwin: Lead yourself first3. St Ignatius: The Daily Examen4. Myers Briggs: https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/myers-briggs-overview/ Linked in: Stew Bewley - Amplify Presentations Ltd | LinkedInWebsite: Amplify | Unlock Your Company Story with our Presentation CoachingThe Storytelling Hero: Speaking for Powerful Communication https://amzn.eu/d/cCHObFUOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

*Please note this episode mentions Sarah's journey with baby loss .  We all remember those English lessons in primary school where we were told stories have a beginning middle and end! Very early in we were conditioned to believe that is how stories go! No wonder we are often shell shocked when we were hit by real life in or it’s messy and non linear glory!This season we have enjoyed listening to genuine life stories and the common thread is that life is full of curveballs, and there isn’t really a linear or even clear path to follow. There are however joyous discoveries and innumerable gems to learn along the way.  As we come to the season finale Sarah and Vangeya share a little bit more about their stories, particularly the plot twists that have left them reeling but were also catalysts for change and growth. So grab a cuppa and settle in for this season’s final look over the fence. Resources1. Rebidahosa: quote regarding evolution of people beyond others’ depiction: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwMihuesSNU/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

In this the penultimate episode of the season we have yet another corker of a guest. We have been blown away by the wisdom, candour and experiences shared by all our guests and Tracey Duncan is no exception. Over a cuppa with us Tracey shared her story and quite frankly this episode is the definition of navigating expectation and reality!  After a dramatic change of direction Tracey’s story is an inspiring tale of grit and drive to succeed despite the mother of all the curveballs.  We are treated to a glimpse of what it looks like to put aside the expected life and create a wonderful alternative from what is and not what we wish was.We thoroughly enjoyed our evening with Tracey and know you will too, so for the final time this season, grab a cuppa, a friend, a notebook or all three!Resources 1. Simon Sinek: the Infinite game2. Bernadette Russell: how to be hopefulFind Tracey on Linked In to connect: bit.ly/traceyduncanOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

Things are back to normal with Sarah and Vangeya reunited as we carry in this jam packed and insight filled season!In this week’s episode Sarah and Vangeya introduce you to we Samuel Kasumu: politician, entrepreneur and the author.  After the most rapid, not so rapid quick fire ever managed, we chat all things purpose and destiny and Sam shares from his personal experience and what lead to his resignation from No.10 and the premise behind his latest book the power of the outsider.Resources1. Exploring your why: reference to Simon Sinek’s work - Start with why -- how great leaders inspire action | Simon Sinek | TEDxPugetSoundYouTube · TEDx Talks29 Sept 2009Some of the highlights1. Purpose is more important than position2. If you are an outsider it’s for a purpose3. Authenticity is the goal4. Bring your skills, your story, they are valid and valuable Sam’s info: 1. Website: Samuel Kasumu: samuelkasumu.co.uk: 2. Latest book: The Power of the OutsiderOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

With no further adieu, We are back for part two! grab a cuppa, a friend, a notepad and settle in for part two of Claire and Vangeya’s conversation with the fabulous Caroline Harper Jantuah! This episode kicks off with a rounds of insightful questions in ‘Ask the Hosts’ before Caroline continues to share her pearls of wisdom and lessons learnt along her journey1. Julia Cameron : The Artist’s Way2. JackeeHolder: http://www.jackeeholder.com/3. Work of Arnold J  Mandel4. Maya Angelou- ‘Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better do better’5. Quote- ‘Even though you did not make it to the end of my story, I will always  have the corner folded down on your page because it was one of my favourites.’ AnonOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

This week Vangeya is joined by a surprise co host! Together they introduce you this week’s fabulous guest. Buckle up for today’s episode where the waves of wisdom just keep coming.  From biochemist to coach, facilitator, jet setter meet Caroline Harper Jantuah. You could literally see the sparks fly between my surprise cohost and Caroline  as they both work in the people/change culture space. For over 3 decades Caroline has worked with individuals  as they seek to articulate and work toward their vision. More recently also becoming an Inclusion and diversity champion- working to bring about change to the internal workings of  organisations to make them more inclusive,  respectful and become organisations people are happy to work in.Forget your cuppa, my advice is grab a note pad as we go over the fence with fascinating and brilliant human!Resources 1. John O’DonoghueOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

We are off! After last week’s intro - we are setting off at a gallop!  As billed we will be introducing you to several guests over the season. These are people we know and have journeyed with in some capacity, and they have kindly agreed to share their stories and lessons picked up along the way. Our first guest whose energy, determination and refusal to let others dictate her course has been an inspiration to Vangeya over many, many years! A treasured  friend of the pod - meet Nish!  We won’t give too much away in the notes, as you will hear it all first hand so settle in and enjoy!Resources1. Life begins at the end on your comfort zone- Neale Donald Walsch2. Craig Groeschel - innovation happens at the end of your comfort zone: Leadership Podcast - Craig Groeschel3. The yes theory- Yes Theory – Yes TheoryNish’s info:Nishadi Ranasinghe https://www.linkedin.com/in/nishadi-ranasingheOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

Finding your story Refreshed from our summer break we are back for season three talking about something that is very close and data hearts.  We believe that everybody’s story is a valid and valuable and we want to delve into some stories of some guests that have inspired us and we know will inspire you. In this episode Sarah and Vangeya introduce this season‘s theme : the power of story, and  how personal stories can influence and encourage others.  They both share the overarching lessons they have learned from their stories so far. and share their top lists learnt along the way and look at the power of storyThis season is jam packed with guests who will be sharing their stories but Vangeya sets a  challenge to us all for the season to ‘find your story’ with the help of those around you. We cannot wait to hear your stories along with those of our guests as we not only look at each other’s lives, but go over the fence and delve into the stories of our guests Resources1. Power of story: Tony Robbins https://www.tonyrobbins.com/career-business/the-power-of-story-peter-guber/2. Robin Moore: Home (robin-moore.com)3. Finding your why: Simon Sinek https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tF7YLGpOoz8Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

Friends! We Have come to the end of another season. How has it gone by so quickly? (Panic you not! We are already planning for season 3!)We have thoroughly enjoyed coming over the fence with you as we have looked at self-care. Our hope is that it is a less puzzling  and less daunting concept as we have talked about it and learned from each other. It is our greatest hope that your journey will continue and self care will cease to be a tick box exercised  but that the incremental small but crucial changes will mean that you are looking after yourselves that bit better and enabling yourselves to show up in all the spheres of your life, much more resilient and supported.In this episode, seeing as it is the season finale, Sarah and Vangeya thought it would be a good idea to have a bit of a self-care check in.  To explore the areas where we still struggle, the wins that they have collected over the season, as well as the big takeaways. So we leave you with the biggest takeaway and what has been dubbed our manifesto: self care ( and life really) is all about self compassion. Figure out who you are and what works for you, and implement it, as often as you need to and remember- practice makes better!We look forward to continuing the journey with you in season three, but until then  Keep looking after yourselves and keep in touch:Insta / Tiktok / Facebook: @overthefencepodFacebook secret group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/602065328690779/Resources:1. Self care as a weapon by Whitney Goodman : https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/healing-together/201907/when-self-care-becomes-weapon?amp2. Part of the series on how stress affects health Elizabeth Scott: https://www.verywellmind.com/self-care-strategies-overall-stress-reduction-31447293. Brene Browne:  Atlas of the HeartOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

Friends, we have our second ever guest! The fabulous Claire Murphy joins the pod this week, to our great delight. This wonderfully insightful discussion with Claire centres around the fact that self care whilst difficult at the best of times is nearly impossible during curveball season and yet this is when it’s most crucial if a complete programe reset post burn out is to be avoided As always there were laughs had , genuine wisdom and practical steps shared, so listen in  and take note Resources 1. Esther Perel 2. Canadian Red Cross: psychological first aid pocket guide : https://www.globalfirstaidcentre.org/resource/psychological-first-aid-pocket-guide/Over the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

Our manifesto is bornThe episode kicks off with a spectacular Segway, a throwaway comment by Sarah that very much fits with the theme of internal rhetoric gets Vangeya very excited.   The episide is all about this internal monologue or story that we have on repeat running around in the background.  Like a master computer programme it affects everything from our decision making to how we feel about ourselves. But if it’s in our hardware, how do we recognise it?  More importantly can we change it?  From neuroscience to our own experience we look at how to manage these insidious thoughts. As always expect nothing but real raw vulnerability as Sarah and Vangeya describe some of the rhetoric they are working at changing and what seems to be working:1. Recognising when you are out of control 2. Learning when not to act, enter the urge surfing 3. Don’t rush your process4. Know what you need (the aforementioned manifesto)Resources1. Link to laboratory of neuro imaging - quote about 70,000 thoughts2. Rachelle Indra (@coachrachelleindra) Lucky girl syndrome explained with neuroscience 3. Prentice Emphill on boundaries: https://byrepose.com/journal/2022/1/18/setting-boundaries-what-does-that-really-mean#:~:text=Clear%20boundaries%20are%20defined%20beautifully,prerequisite%20for%20connection%20with%20others.4. Links to 47.2 episode and bonus episodeOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

Real self care doesn’t start with a bubble bath!!Calling all recovering people pleasers! in this weeks episode we look at authentic self care, what it really requires and some practical things to implement.  For all you self-confessed recovering people pleaser who find themselves overburdened and trying desperately to detach from the guilt and internal struggle that hits when you find the courage to say “no” - we hear you and this week’s episode is for you. Sarah snd Vangeya delve into the very real reality of having to constantly rebuild the fences around boundaries set time and time again, looking at how best to ensure that you can be who you are who, whilst being joyful, enabled to thrive and flourish so that you can show up as your best self you and therefore be able give to the measure that you are able. We are sure there are lots more helpful hints to achieve  this but during our conversation we landed on these as a start:1. Know yourself 2. Taking the fear away3. Fence building- reinforcing the boundaries  not just with others but ourselves too4. Honest conversation 5. Allow for forgiveness/ compassion6. Stop the joy robbers 7. Give to the measure you can not to the expectation Resources 1. Kobe Campbell on boundaries starting with identifying your needs and the environments in which those needs can be met: on ‘In the light’ https://open.spotify.com/episode/1go2k01znDikD1RtvxdgXL?si=9YjFKWllQ0SV7f-au_UK5Q2. Extrovert/introvert explained: Simon Sinek https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ozSjZ6iRKSAOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

Show notes: 202The fruit beneath your feet with Olga ThompsonThe pod has the first of our wonderful guests! Introducing the talented, hilarious, wise and all round fabulous Olga Thompson!This episode could have been 3 times as long as it is, as Olga attempted to rename self care and gave really helpful practical tips to bring it down to a manageable level. The tea and wisdom were most definitely flowing, culminating in the prescription for self care arrived at being a combination of:1. There is lots of unlearning to do2. It is crucial that we give ourselves permission to stop and do what we need/want in a moment of need 3. Be gentle with yourself 4. Never compare5. Stay in your lane and concentrate on your journey Follow Olga @olga.thompson and @big_fat_greekmotherWe had so much fun and learned lots so we will definitely have to have Olga back for another cuppa and natter over the fence in the near future.Resources1. Brene Brown -the power of naming emotions: https://www.npr.org/2021/12/23/1067479092/brene-brown-on-the-power-of-naming-our-emotions2. Brené Brown appearance on Unlocking Us: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3eyj6AUWzB1YgON2QVLMY5?si=mNKV7T-RSV-fHKn8DP9R1gOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson

Season 2 already! how did we get here?  Like always life seems to keep whizzing by and we all sometimes wish we could slow down, pause and have time for ,,,,some self care!  Yes it is crucial but who has the time?  And is it a tad self indulgent isn't it?  Sarah and Vangeya discuss all this asking whether it is possible to live a life that adds value -giving selflessly but not to out own detriment. Whilst there is no easy answer , your host discuss whether a good place to start is talking to ourselves as we would to a friend - allowing ourselves time, rest and to do the best we can with the time and resources rather than pushing for a standard that is too costly and takes a toll on our minds and bodies.Amongst the serious chat there are of course the usual high jinks and giggle as 'How the other half live'  makes a glorious return!  It is fabulous to be back, cuppas at the ready!Resources:Alex Howard : personality types and self careOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson