The Arts Hole

Get ready to feel the burn! ...Is absolutely not the tagline for this film. Although it should have been.   Divisive, weird and a clash of social classes, our podcast is all of those things this week as we look at Emerald Fennell's controversial, homoerotic, twisty, semi-satirical, possibly plagiarised film Saltburn.  SHOW NOTES:  Broey Deschanel's video essay 'The Untalented Mr Ripley'  Robot mushrooms; be afraid  SHOW US SOME LOVE:  You can support the podcast by Buying us a coffee Buy our book Get Bea's brain on your creative project with Script Doctor Services here

An update on where we've been, what we've been watching, and our thoughts on a movie that has been called "horrible" and "the worst movie ever made" by the people who were in it. In a year where Dean Cain released six films, that CAN'T be true...    SHOW US SOME LOVE:  You can support the podcast by Buying us a coffee Buy our book Get Bea's brain on your creative project with Script Doctor Services here

Director Jan de Bont, having exhausted all his pacing directing "Speed," delivers a grindingly slow haunted house movie based off someone mostly remembering having once read the back cover of Shirley Jackson's novel. Catherine Zeta Jones looks fantastic, Owen Wilson looks confused, and everyone involved should look embarrassed. **Contains spoilers for The Haunting of Hill House novel**   SHOW NOTES:  Just watch the 1963 movie   SHOW US SOME LOVE:  You can support the podcast by Buying us a coffee Buy our book Get Bea's brain on your creative project with Script Doctor Services here

If you go down to the woods today, you'd better bring a tripod. Or at least someone who can hold a camera steady. Nobody told the three student film makers who were rumoured to have disappeared in the woods...  Luke and Bea disagree - which might have been a better show title - on the merits of the iconic found footage horror film, rounding out our series on the films of 1999. SHOW NOTES:  A couple of times we refer to 'Cinema vérité' but totally forget to explain it. Essentially it's the idea of 'fly on the wall' like the camera is just observing reality. Here's a proper explainer "What is Cinema Vérité?" Some modern found footage horrors we love - Cam Unfriended Late Night With the Devil  Webcast Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows the most intensely 2000s thing ever SHOW US SOME LOVE:  You can support the podcast by Buying us a coffee Buy our book Get Bea's brain on your creative project with Script Doctor Services here

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... people thought this film would actually be good. It wasn't! George Lucas returned to the beloved science fiction saga that made his name and fortune for a prequel that has since become a byword for awful. We slogged through this absolute chore of a space opera, even though we hated it. And if hate leads to the Dark Side, sign us up, because it HAS to be more fun than this.   Thoughts, requests, detailed pie charts on how we're wrong? Email us at Artsholepodcast@gmail.com  or find Bea on Instagram @Bea_roberts_writer  SHOW NOTES:  Day of the Dolphin That infamous Folger's coffee ad Why we were shouting "Pork Markets!" SHOW US SOME LOVE:  You can support the podcast by Buying us a coffee Buy our book Get Bea's brain on your creative project with Script Doctor Services here

The kids are alright! As is this movie. Which is about all that can be said for it, if we're honest. Having developed a reputation at the time for scandalous sexuality, this teen coming-of-age movie is actually pretty banal by almost any metric. Although someone does fuck a pie. So... There's that...? Requests? Thoughts on pie or just want to tell us what you got up to at band camp, email us at Artsholepodcast@gmail.com  or find Bea on Instagram @Bea_roberts_writer  SHOW US SOME LOVE:  You can support the podcast by Buying us a coffee Buy our book Get Bea's brain on your creative project with Script Doctor Services here

The internet's boyfriend Keanu Reeves plays a very confused man hurtled through dimensions sometimes covered in goo - but sadly this isn't 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure' it's 1999's iconic 'The Matrix' Ahhh, the goo, explains why they're all wearing wipe clean fabrics. Red pill? Blue pill? Chill pill? Tell us what pills you're enjoying by emailing us at Artsholepodcast@gmail.com  or find Bea on Instagram @Bea_roberts_writer  SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book Script Doctor Services

Breaking (we think) four of the eight rules of Fight Club here as we discuss David Fincher's much-talked-about precursor to everything that's wrong with the modern manosphere. We're not sure what Fincher shot this movie on, but if we had to guess, we'd say incel-luloid.   Hey you! You wanna fight? Yeah well email us Artsholepodcast@gmail.com  or find Bea on Instagram @Bea_roberts_writer (we only fight with words, food or dance)  SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book Script Doctor Services

The first of our new 1999 series, in which we examine movies from what turned out to be a weirdly pivotal year. In this case, Oscar-bait Boomer whinge "American Beauty," starring relatable, normal, everyman actor Kevin Spacey...   If you have a question, request, inventive heckle, etc you can email us Artsholepodcast@gmail.com  or find Bea on Instagram @Bea_roberts_writer  SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book Script Doctor Services & Bea's mini online creative writing course

We got over-stimulated, mistakes were made, and we ended up watching Showgirls. Is Paul Verhoeven's critically mauled stripper movie really as bad as its reputation suggests? Does a bear shit in the woods? And how do you like having nice tits, anyway? At least one of these questions will be answered.   If you have a question, request, suggestion or disturbing slash fiction involving Luke and Kyle MacLachlan, etc you can email us Artsholepodcast@gmail.com  or find Bea on Instagram @Bea_roberts_writer  SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book Script Doctor Services & Bea's mini online creative writing course

Ban the bum! ...numbing... length... of films like this.  Christopher Nolan's Oscar-winning film tells the story of Robert Downey Jr.'s Lewis Strauss and his campaign to become Secretary of Commerce. Also there's some stuff about the potential annihilation of all life on earth thanks to the invention of the atom bomb, but they honestly don't go into it, much. If you have a question, suggestion, erotic fan fic, etc you can email us Artsholepodcast@gmail.com.   SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book Script Doctor Services & Bea's mini online creative writing course

Come on Arts Hole let's go part...s...hole. Hard as it is to believe, we stared at Margot Robbie for two hours and still have complaints.  With awards season fast approaching, we finally weigh in on the big movie of 2023. SHOW NOTES:  Barbie proportions vs. human woman If you have a question, suggestion, erotic fan fic, etc you can email us Artsholepodcast@gmail.com.   SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book Script Doctor Services & Bea's mini online creative writing course

Regular Arts Hole episodes coming soon but for now here's a free mini creative writing class from Bea! Find out more here and sign up before 8th Feb for your 50% discount!  www.bearobertswriter.com

A year after the horror movie "Jack Frost" came this unintentionally horrific family movie of the same name, in which Michael Keaton plays a man who is brought back as what can only be described as a Snow Wight*. It's a bad idea, but it's also handled ineptly. Merry Christmas! *If you, like Bea, did not get this joke apparently it's a very highbrow Luke pun about ghosts.  Bruce Willis singing... Arts Hole Christmas Movie Bingo our little present to you x If you have a question, suggestion, erotic fan fic, etc you can email us Artsholepodcast@gmail.com.   SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book Script Doctor Services

All aboard! ...Wait, no, sorry. All are bored by Robert Zemeckis' completely CGI Christmas movie about a magic train that can chug along on rails like a non-magic train, as well as no other things. None of the characters have names and all of them are Tom Hanks and if you want it to make sense, so did we.   Luke's long digression - or at least one of them - is about this movie: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_of_the_North_Pole  Head to Bea's Instagram if you want to see a side by side comparison of Conductor Tom Hanks & murderer Dr. Crippen... Arts Hole Christmas Movie Bingo - our little present to you x If you have a question, suggestion, erotic fan fic, etc. you can email us Artsholepodcast@gmail.com.   SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book Script Doctor Services

Listen, and understand. James Cameron is out there. He can't be bargained with. He can't be reasoned with. He doesn't feel shame, or remorse, or when a script is woefully in need of another draft. And he absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until we agree that giant blue cat monsters are sexy and cool. We've threatened this for a while, but settle in, because we finally watched Avatar 2.  Correction: In the episode Bea says that Avatar: The Way of Water cost 2 billion US dollars to make; budget estimates actually range from $460 million to over $1 billion of combined production and marketing costs. The $2 billion figure came from James Cameron quoted in a Variety article from January 2023 saying the film would need to make $2 billion dollars to break even.  If you have a question, suggestion, erotic fan fic, etc you can email us Artsholepodcast@gmail.com.   SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book

Tom Cruise is a gay-coded immortal, who coincidentally plays a vampire in the movie adaptation of Anne Rice's book. It's not very good, but it did lead to a superb TV series. We look at why the recent 'Interview With The Vampire' series has bite, while the movie version just sucks.  We also go into why former Superman Dean Cain's people reached out to us and what we did next... If you have a question, suggestion, erotic fan fic, etc you can email us Artsholepodcast@gmail.com.   SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book

With The Nun Two in cinemas now we take a look at The Nun One: The Nunnaning, which takes place in the same cinematic universe as The Conjuring, detailing another allegedly true haunting. Have the dead returned to torment us, or is it just the force of habit? ...Sorry. If you have a question, suggestion, erotic fan fic, etc you can email us Artsholepodcast@gmail.com.   SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book Script Doctor Services

Call us Ishmael. No wait - that other thing - The Arts Hole Season 3! We're back and so's Brendan Fraser in Darren Arronofsky's "The Whale" We take a deep dive with this beast but thankfully come up for air. God, this film is depressing... Content Warning: Discussions of suicide.  Things we mention:  The brilliant work of Fat Activist Aubrey Gordon A Single Man If you have a question, suggestion, erotic fan fic, etc you can email us Artsholepodcast@gmail.com.   SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book Script Doctor Services

The gambling dens of the Nevada desert are the setting for this musical which is largely set on a boat and doesn't feature any gambling, for some reason. Elvis Presley scored an unlikely cinematic success at the height of Beatlemania as he pursues Ann Margaret in ways that our grandparents' generation apparently considered cute and which would now see you taken into custody. Join us for a confused romp that ends with far more violent deaths than anyone expected.   Still, the score is catchy as hell. Everybody! "Bright lights city gonna set my soul..."  If you have a question, suggestion, erotic fan fic, etc you can email us Artsholepodcast@gmail.com.   SHOW US SOME LOVE:  Buy us a coffee Buy our book Script Doctor Services