NorthPoint Counseling Perspective

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI

Welcome to a NorthPoint Counseling Perspective, a podcast that addresses the intricate tapestry of individual, relational, marriage, parenting, problematic sexual behavior, partner betrayal trauma, and mental health issues.

read less

Health & FitnessHealth & Fitness

Start Here

A Comprehensive Examination of Mental Health

A Comprehensive Examination of Mental Health

A Comprehensive Examination of Mental HealthIntroductionMental health encompasses emotional, psychological, and social well-being, influencing how individuals think, feel, and act. It affects daily functioning, relationships, and physical health. Mental health is not merely the absence of mental illness but also involves the presence of positive characteristics such as resilience, self-esteem, and the ability to manage stress.Historical ContextHistorically, mental health has been misunderstood and stigmatized. Early civilizations often attributed mental disorders to supernatural forces, leading to inhumane treatments. The 19th and 20th centuries saw the emergence of more scientific approaches, with the development of psychiatry and psychology as distinct fields. The deinstitutionalization movement of the mid-20th century aimed to improve care by closing large psychiatric hospitals and emphasizing community-based services.Current UnderstandingToday, mental health is recognized as a critical aspect of overall health. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines mental health as a state of well-being where individuals realize their abilities, cope with normal life stresses, work productively, and contribute to their community.Challenges and BarriersDespite advances in understanding and treatment, several challenges remain:Stigma: Societal stigma can prevent individuals from seeking help and can negatively affect their self-esteem and recovery.Access to Care: There is a significant disparity in the availability of mental health services, particularly in low-income and rural areas.Integration with General Healthcare: Mental health care is often siloed from general health care, despite the interconnection between mental and physical health.Future DirectionsThe future of mental health care lies in integrated, personalized approaches. Advances in neuroscience and genetics hold promise for more targeted treatments. Public health initiatives must focus on reducing stigma, improving access to care, and promoting mental health literacy. Additionally, technology, including telemedicine and digital mental health tools, can expand access to services and support.Meditation for Mental Self-CareMeditation is a powerful tool for mental self-care, promoting relaxation, reducing stress, and enhancing overall well-being. By incorporating meditation into daily routines, individuals can foster a greater sense of peace and mental clarity. Meditation is a valuable practice for mental self-care, offering numerous benefits for emotional health, stress reduction, and overall well-being. By incorporating various meditation techniques into daily routines, individuals can cultivate a more mindful, peaceful, and resilient mindset. ConclusionMental health is a vital component of overall well-being, influencing all aspects of life. Understanding its complexities and addressing the challenges associated with mental health disorders requires a comprehensive, compassionate approach. John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episodes

A Comprehensive Examination of Mental Health

A Comprehensive Examination of Mental Health

A Comprehensive Examination of Mental HealthIntroductionMental health encompasses emotional, psychological, and social well-being, influencing how individuals think, feel, and act. It affects daily functioning, relationships, and physical health. Mental health is not merely the absence of mental illness but also involves the presence of positive characteristics such as resilience, self-esteem, and the ability to manage stress.Historical ContextHistorically, mental health has been misunderstood and stigmatized. Early civilizations often attributed mental disorders to supernatural forces, leading to inhumane treatments. The 19th and 20th centuries saw the emergence of more scientific approaches, with the development of psychiatry and psychology as distinct fields. The deinstitutionalization movement of the mid-20th century aimed to improve care by closing large psychiatric hospitals and emphasizing community-based services.Current UnderstandingToday, mental health is recognized as a critical aspect of overall health. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines mental health as a state of well-being where individuals realize their abilities, cope with normal life stresses, work productively, and contribute to their community.Challenges and BarriersDespite advances in understanding and treatment, several challenges remain:Stigma: Societal stigma can prevent individuals from seeking help and can negatively affect their self-esteem and recovery.Access to Care: There is a significant disparity in the availability of mental health services, particularly in low-income and rural areas.Integration with General Healthcare: Mental health care is often siloed from general health care, despite the interconnection between mental and physical health.Future DirectionsThe future of mental health care lies in integrated, personalized approaches. Advances in neuroscience and genetics hold promise for more targeted treatments. Public health initiatives must focus on reducing stigma, improving access to care, and promoting mental health literacy. Additionally, technology, including telemedicine and digital mental health tools, can expand access to services and support.Meditation for Mental Self-CareMeditation is a powerful tool for mental self-care, promoting relaxation, reducing stress, and enhancing overall well-being. By incorporating meditation into daily routines, individuals can foster a greater sense of peace and mental clarity. Meditation is a valuable practice for mental self-care, offering numerous benefits for emotional health, stress reduction, and overall well-being. By incorporating various meditation techniques into daily routines, individuals can cultivate a more mindful, peaceful, and resilient mindset. ConclusionMental health is a vital component of overall well-being, influencing all aspects of life. Understanding its complexities and addressing the challenges associated with mental health disorders requires a comprehensive, compassionate approach. John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episode 12: Self Image vs Self Definition

Episode 12: Self Image vs Self Definition

In this episode, Patrick Eiler's LPC, CSAT talks about self-image and self-definition.Self-image and self-definition are two facets of identity that significantly shape how individuals perceive themselves and interact with the world around them. While they are interconnected, they represent distinct aspects of one's self-concept.Self-image relates to how individuals perceive themselves in relation to others and the external world. It encompasses one's appearance, social roles, status, and reputation. Societal norms, cultural expectations, and interpersonal interactions influence self-image. It can be shaped by feedback from others, societal stereotypes, and media representations. While self-image is a part of self-concept, it may not always align with an individual's true self-definition.On the other hand, self-definition refers to the process through which individuals define who they are, their values, beliefs, and the roles they play in society. It encompasses a deeper understanding of one's intrinsic qualities, aspirations, and purpose in life. This process often involves introspection, reflection, and exploration of personal identity. Self-definition is dynamic and can evolve as individuals experience personal growth, encounter new challenges, and undergo transformative life events.Discrepancies between self-image and self-definition can lead to inner conflicts and psychological distress. For example, one's self-image may be negatively influenced by criticism or societal pressures to conform to certain standards of success or beauty. Achieving congruence between self-image and self-definition is essential for holistic well-being and self-acceptance. This involves cultivating self-awareness, practicing self-compassion, and aligning one's actions with their authentic values and beliefs. It also requires challenging societal norms and embracing individuality without seeking validation from external sources.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episode 11: Understanding Empathy - How To Develop Empathy

Episode 11: Understanding Empathy - How To Develop Empathy

In this episode, I will dive into the core of human connection, exploring the transformative power of understanding, compassion, and shared emotions through empathy.Empathy, often hailed as the glue that binds us together, is more than just a buzzword. It's the force that bridges gaps, dismantles barriers, and fosters a sense of unity in an ever-evolving world.Join me as I help navigate the nuances of empathy, discussing its impact on personal growth, mental well-being, and the broader social fabric. I will help shed light on how empathy serves as a catalyst for positive change.From the workplace to our personal lives, empathy emerges as a guiding light, prompting us to see beyond ourselves and embrace the diverse narratives that make up our shared human experience. Together, let's explore practical ways to cultivate empathy in our daily lives and make a lasting difference in the lives of those around us.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episode 10: Healthy Sex

Episode 10: Healthy Sex

The concept of healthy sex can be explored through a multidimensional lens that takes into account various aspects of human well-being. The 12-dimension model provides a comprehensive framework to understand and promote a holistic approach to sexual health.By acknowledging and nurturing each dimension of this model, individuals and couples can cultivate a well-rounded approach to healthy sex. Recognizing that sexual well-being is interconnected with various aspects of life encourages a more comprehensive understanding and appreciation of the richness that a fulfilling and healthy sexual relationship can bring.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episode 9: Understanding Fear - An In-Depth Look

Episode 9: Understanding Fear - An In-Depth Look

In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses the topic of fear. Fear, an emotion deeply embedded in the human experience, has been a subject of fascination, analysis, and debate throughout history. As a multifaceted phenomenon, fear touches upon various aspects of our lives, influencing our decisions, shaping our perceptions, and even steering the course of societies. Introducing fear as a topic of discussion is not merely an exploration of an emotion but an invitation to unravel the intricate layers that compose this complex terrain. At its core, fear is a primal and adaptive response that has evolved to ensure survival. It manifests in diverse forms, ranging from instinctual fears like the fear of danger or predators to more complex, nuanced fears such as existential anxieties and societal phobias. In essence, fear acts as a powerful force that permeates our thoughts, behaviors, and interactions.Introducing fear as a topic of discussion is an exploration that transcends the boundaries of individual emotions, reaching into the realms of psychology, culture, society, and personal development. By engaging in thoughtful conversations about fear, we embark on a journey of self-discovery and societal introspection, fostering empathy and understanding and perhaps uncovering the key to unlocking the potential for growth and transformation.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episode 8: Toxic Shame and Perfectionism

Episode 8: Toxic Shame and Perfectionism

In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses Toxic shame. Toxic shame is a pervasive and enduring form of shame that can significantly impact one's quality of life. It is consciously transferred by means of shaming rules and can be deeply ingrained in one's sense of self, leading to constant exposure of the failure of the self to the self. Toxic shame is often driven by the fear of being exposed or rejected, leading individuals to develop perfectionistic tendencies as a defense mechanism to mask their insecurities and feelings of unworthiness.This can manifest as a relentless inner critic, difficulty in establishing boundaries, and a constant pursuit of perfection to avoid potential rejection.The interconnection between toxic shame and perfectionism lies in the individual's efforts to cope with and conceal their deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness through the pursuit of unattainable standards and the fear of being exposed or rejected.To help overcome toxic shame and perfectionism, it is important to recognize and address the underlying emotional and psychological factors. Here are some strategies that can help:Overcoming Toxic Shame:Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion and challenge shame-based thoughts. Recognize that you are not defined by past mistakes or shortcomings.Therapy: Consider seeking the support of a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore and heal from toxic shame.Establishing Boundaries: Work on setting healthy boundaries and asserting your needs to avoid potential rejection.Coping Techniques: Learn and practice coping techniques to reframe emotions associated with shame. This may include mindfulness, self-care, and positive self-talk.Overcoming Perfectionism:Redefine Success: Shift the focus from unattainable perfection to personal growth and learning from mistakes.Embrace Vulnerability: Recognize that vulnerability is a strength and allows for genuine connections with others.Seeking Support: Engage in open conversations with trusted individuals about your struggles with perfectionism. This can help you gain perspective and support.Challenge All-or-Nothing Thinking: Practice challenging black-and-white thinking patterns and embrace the concept of progress over perfection.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episode 7: Marriage, Now What?

Episode 7: Marriage, Now What?

In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses Marriage, Now What? Marriage, Now What? encapsulates the sentiment many couples experience after the initial excitement of marriage settles. It's a reflective phase where partners may ponder the direction of their relationship. This question invites couples to embrace the evolving nature of their union and actively shape its trajectory.In this phase, couples can explore shared goals, set new aspirations, and deepen their connection through effective communication. It's an opportunity to assess individual and collective growth, adapting to life's changes. Date nights, open conversations, and continued emotional and physical intimacy play pivotal roles in sustaining a vibrant and fulfilling marriage.Financial planning, shared responsibilities, and a commitment to mutual support contribute to the stability of the partnership. Celebrating milestones and expressing gratitude become habits that reinforce the positive aspects of the relationship. Couples may embark on new adventures, encouraging each other to pursue dreams and aspirations.Navigating conflicts with resilience and finding constructive solutions become essential skills. This phase encourages couples to renew their commitment, fostering a sense of dedication and love. Ultimately, "Marriage, Now What?" is an invitation to actively shape and invest in the ongoing journey of shared growth, creating a resilient and enduring foundation for a lasting and meaningful marriage. John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episode 6: Grandkids Unplugged - Social Media

Episode 6: Grandkids Unplugged - Social Media

In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses children and social media. Children and social media have become inseparable in today's digital age. As technology advances, more kids are gaining access to various social media platforms at increasingly younger ages. While social media offers opportunities for communication, creativity, and learning, it also raises concerns about the potential risks and impacts on children's well-being.On the positive side, social media can enhance children's social skills by allowing them to connect with peers, share experiences, and express themselves creatively. It can also serve as a valuable educational tool, providing access to a wealth of information and resources.However, the downside involves potential exposure to inappropriate content, cyberbullying, and privacy issues. Children may encounter harmful material or engage in risky behaviors online. Moreover, the addictive nature of social media can contribute to issues such as sleep disturbances and a negative impact on mental health.Parents, caregivers, and grandparents play a crucial role in managing children's social media usage. Establishing age-appropriate guidelines, discussing online safety, and monitoring online activities are essential steps to ensure a healthy relationship between children and social media. Education about responsible online behavior, critical thinking, and digital literacy is key in empowering children to navigate the digital world safely.In summary, integrating children and social media comes with benefits and challenges. Striking a balance between leveraging the positive aspects and mitigating potential risks requires active involvement from parents, educators, and the broader community to promote a healthy and safe online environment for children.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episode 5: Demystifying Polygraphs

Episode 5: Demystifying Polygraphs

In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses Polygraphs, also known as lie detectors. Polygraphs are instruments used to measure physiological responses associated with truthfulness or deception. The primary purpose of a polygraph test is to assess whether a person is being truthful or deceptive in their responses to a set of questions.Here are some key components and principles associated with polygraph examinations:Physiological Measurements:Heart Rate: Polygraphs measure changes in heart rate using an electrocardiogram (ECG) to monitor the heartbeat.Respiration Rate: A pneumograph tracks the rate and depth of breathing.Galvanic Skin Response (GSR): Electrodermal activity is measured to assess changes in skin conductance, which can indicate emotional arousal.Test Procedure:During a polygraph examination, a person is asked a series of questions while the polygraph records physiological responses.The test typically involves a pre-test interview to establish baseline readings and discuss the questions that will be asked.Relevant, irrelevant, and control questions are used to assess reactions. Relevant questions relate to the issue being investigated, while irrelevant questions are unrelated.Scoring and Interpretation:Polygraph examiners analyze the physiological data to identify significant changes associated with deceptive or truthful responses.The examiner interprets the results based on patterns of physiological responses.It's important to note that the accuracy and reliability of polygraph results have been a subject of debate among experts.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episode 4: Partner Betrayal Trauma

Episode 4: Partner Betrayal Trauma

In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses partner betrayal trauma. Partner Betrayal Trauma refers to the emotional, psychological, financial, spiritual, and relational distress experienced by an individual when their partner engages in actions that violate trust and betray the core values of the relationship. This type of trauma often arises from infidelity, deception, or other forms of betrayal within a romantic relationship.Critical components of partner betrayal trauma include:Trust Violation: The betrayed partner experiences a breach of trust, a fundamental element of a healthy relationship. Trust is essential for emotional intimacy and the stability of the partnership.Emotional Impact: Betrayal trauma can lead to intense and overwhelming emotional reactions. The betrayed partner may experience feelings of shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, anxiety, and profound hurt.Cognitive Distress: The betrayed individual may struggle with intrusive thoughts, rumination, and a sense of cognitive dissonance as they try to reconcile the actions of their partner with their expectations and beliefs about the relationship.Impact on Self-Esteem: Betrayal can significantly impact the betrayed partner's self-esteem and self-worth. They may question their adequacy, attractiveness, and value within the relationship.Changes in Relationship Dynamics: The revelation of betrayal can alter the dynamics of the relationship. Communication may break down, and rebuilding trust becomes a challenging process. The betrayed partner may also struggle with forgiveness issues and the ability to move forward.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episode 3: Sexual Addiction History and The 30 Task Recovery Model

Episode 3: Sexual Addiction History and The 30 Task Recovery Model

In this podcast, counselor and author John Sternfels will discuss sexual addiction, also known as hypersexuality or compulsive sexual behavior, and the 30-Task model of recovery."Like an alcoholic unable to stop drinking, sexual addicts are unable to stop their self-destructive sexual behavior. Family breakups, financial disasters, loss of jobs, and risk to life are the painful themes of their stories."Sex addicts come from all walks of life - they may be ministers, physicians, homemakers, factory workers, salespersons, secretaries, clerks, accountants, therapists, dentists, politicians, or executives, to name just a few examples. Most were abused as children - sexually, physically, and emotionally. The majority grew up in families in which addiction already flourished, including alcoholism, compulsive eating, and compulsive gambling. Most grapple with other addictions as well, but they find sex addiction the most difficult to stop. Much hope nevertheless exists for these people with an addiction and their families. Sex addicts have shown an ability to transform a life of self-destruction into a life of self-care, a life in chaos and despair into one of confidence and peace." - Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. Author of Out of the Shadows Furthermore, sexual addiction is defined as any sexually related, compulsive behavior that interferes with everyday living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones, and one's work environment. Sexual addiction has been called sexual dependency and sexual compulsivity. By any name, it is a compulsive behavior that completely dominates the addict's life. Sexual addicts make sex a priority more important than family, friends, and work. Sex becomes the organizing principle of addict's lives. They are willing to sacrifice what they cherish most to preserve and continue their unhealthy behavior.Dr. Patrick Carnes estimates three to six percent of the population is facing sexual addiction. It remains unclear whether one gender has a higher incidence of sexual addiction than the other. Research by Dr. Carnes shows that approximately 20 - 25% of all patients who seek help for sexual dependency are women. (This same male-female ratio is found among those recovering from alcohol addiction, drug addiction, and pathological gambling.)Treatment for individuals struggling with problematic sexual behaviors may involve psychotherapy, support groups, and sometimes medication. - Source: SexHelp.comJohn Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episode 2: Healthy Parenting

Episode 2: Healthy Parenting

In this week's podcast, counselor and author John Sternfels shares the importance of Healthy Parenting. Healthy parenting is a multifaceted approach that involves providing emotional, physical, and cognitive support to foster a child's overall well-being and development. It goes beyond meeting basic needs and extends into creating a nurturing and positive environment that promotes a child's growth, self-esteem, and resilience.It is an ongoing process that evolves with the changing needs of both parents and children. By fostering a supportive and loving environment, promoting open communication, and embracing adaptability, parents can contribute significantly to their child's holistic development. Remember that no parent is perfect, and learning from successes and challenges is integral to the parenting journey.In today’s podcast, I will share a basic understanding of the 12 key aspects of Healthy Parenting.1. The first is Emotional Connection2. The second is Communication3. The third is Setting Boundaries4. The fourth is Positive Role Modeling5. The fifth is Promoting Independence6. The sixth is Physical Health7. The seventh is Emotional Regulation8. The eighth is Educational Support9. The ninth is Quality Time10. The tenth is Flexibility and Adaptability11. The eleventh is Encouragement and Positivity12. The twelfth is Cultural and Social AwarenessJohn Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)

Episode 1: Developing a Positive Parent and Child Relationship

Episode 1: Developing a Positive Parent and Child Relationship

In this podcast, counselor and author, John Sternfels shares the importance of Healthy Parenting.The parent-child relationship is a fundamental and unique bond that plays a crucial role in shaping an individual's development and well-being. It is a complex interplay of emotions, responsibilities, and influence that evolves over time. This relationship typically begins with the birth of a child, but it extends far beyond infancy, shaping the individual throughout various stages of life.The parent-child relationship undergoes significant transformations during adolescence. Parents must navigate the delicate balance between granting autonomy and providing guidance as children assert their independence. Trust and mutual respect become paramount, and maintaining a supportive connection can positively impact a teenager's self-esteem and decision-making.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: "A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing" (available now)"Behind The Smile" (available early 2024)"DOWNLOAD for Parents" (available late 2024)