This week we're tackling a question about sneaky hierarchy, aka sneakiarchy. We're talking about how to recognize it in future relationships, how to recognize when you might be creating it by accident, and more. If you want your question answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a member of our Patreon community! Visit www.multiamory.com/join to sign up. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about love languages, and taking a critical look at them to discuss whether or not they're actually as important as we make them out to be. We're going to go over some of the key assumptions behind the love languages and of course, look at what the research has to say. And finally, we discuss both the potential benefits and the possible pitfalls of relying too heavily on the love languages as a framework. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYGet 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's Q&A episode is discussing couples' privilege and how to be cognizant of when it may affect interactions with other potential partners. If you want to submit a question to be answered on one of the extra Q&A episodes we're doing for the next few months, become one of our Patreon supporters at www.patreon.com/multiamory. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're talking about feeling possessive over a partner, the psychology and science behind it, and how even when non-monogamous, possessive feelings can still arise and create challenges for us. We'll even be discussing some times when a little bit of possessiveness can be a good thing! If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiQuality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYGet a personalized original song and put it on Spotify for free at our special link Songfinch.com/multiamory Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's question from our Patreon supporters is discussing initiating sex, foreplay, and mismatched communications. If you want to submit a question to be answered on one of the extra Q&A episodes we're doing for the next few months, become one of our Patreon supporters at www.patreon.com/multiamory. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nobody LIKES feeling uncomfortable...but today we're going to be looking at a few ways we sometimes avoid discomfort that may be making the problem worse instead of better. We're taking a good hard look at the emotions a lot of us prefer to avoid, how distractions and quick fixes aren't the best things to do all the time, and explore some techniques for reclaiming your ability to feel your emotions and improve your relationships. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Connect with your partner every day using Paired. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's question for our Q&A episode is addressing mismatched desire during busy, long-term partnered life and being stuck in "practical mode." If you want to submit a question to be answered on one of the extra Q&A episodes we're doing for the next few months, become one of our Patreon supporters at www.patreon.com/multiamory. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by Jeff Guenther, also known online as TherapyJeff! Jeff has joined us to talk about what he does, therapy, non-monogamy, and much more!Jeff Guenther, aka TherapyJeff, is, according to him, the most handsome therapist on the internet and is an international treasure who made Portland Oregon cool when he moved there in 2005. Jeff dedicates his time to creating short videos for TikTok and Instagram, and hosting his weekly podcasts, 'Big Dating Energy' and Problem Solved.’ Honestly, we can’t believe he is on our show. What a blessing! Learn more about him at TherapyJeff.com. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Join Beducated for 40% off their yearly pass and level up your sex life at https://beducate.me/pd2412-multiamory with promo code multiamoryQuality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYGet hair care that is completely customized to your hair and your life AND get 15% off at Prose.com/multiamoryThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

During this mini episode, we're answering just one question from our Patreon community. Today we're discussing reframing relationships, de-escalation, and acceptance. If you'd like to have your question answered on a future mini episode, visit patreon.com/multiamory and become one of our Patreon supporters! If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Breakup season has passed, so we're going to spend an episode talking about independence is important for everyone, regardless of your relationship status. We'll go over some research and demographics, some common misconceptions about singlehood, and finally, some lessons we can all take to heart about being independent and prioritizing our own desires. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're talking about honesty, and what makes it difficult to be honest with a partner. We all have difficulty with being honest sometimes, whether it's sharing a negative opinion about something or disclosing information about other partnerships. We're going to go over some of the research about what sometimes stops us from being honest in our relationships, and share some tools that can help you feel more comfortable being vulnerable and honest with people you love. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYGet 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYControl Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code MULTIAMORY at LumeDeodorant.comGet hair care that is completely customized to your hair and your life AND get 15% off at Prose.com/multiamory Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about being open-minded: what it means, how it's often misunderstood, and how we're probably not as good at it as we think we are. Typically people think of open-mindedness as a good thing, especially among younger folks, but it's hard to research it, given how difficult it is to objectively measure. We'll be going over some of the research that has been done on open-mindedness, as well as some actionable tips about how to actually be more open-minded in everyday life. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Connect with your partner every day using Paired. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYJoin Beducated for 40% off their yearly pass and level up your sex life at https://beducate.me/pd2410-multiamory with promo code multiamory Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're talking about slow dating and slow love, which was brought to our attention by Damona Hoffman in episode 456. We'll go over what slow love is, whether it's the answer to NRE woes or not, some of slow love's benefits and pitfalls, and how to decide if it's something that's right for you or not. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Get hair care that is completely customized to your hair and your life AND get 15% off at Prose.com/multiamoryTreat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiQuality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we have another Q&A episode, so we're diving into some listener questions. Some of the topics we're covering are what happens when just one relationship in a triad has to end, how to support a long distance partner, how to build confidence when you’ve been a “late bloomer” regarding sex and relationships, and what to do when a partner will not acknowledge their own jealousy. If you want to have your own question answered in a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Patreon community! If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYJoin Beducated for 40% off their yearly pass and level up your sex life at https://beducate.me/pd2408-multiamory with promo code multiamory Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is an interview we did with Sara Sense of the Better in Bed podcast about jealousy and navigating it in the context of relationships and non-monogamy. Sara Tang is a certified sexologist and coach based in Hong Kong. She believes that sex is a skill and everyone can learn how to get better in bed. She is most passionate about helping people who had a limited sex education or culturally conservative upbringing feel more connected and confident with their sexuality. She started her platform Sarasense to provide tools and resources for people to get better educated about all aspects of sex and sexuality. Her podcast Better in Bed aims to normalize the conversations we have around sex, and reaches global audiences in over 88 countries. It was recently featured as one of the Best Sex Podcasts in Esquire and The Guardian. Find her on Instagram and Facebook @hellosarasense and check out her online course here. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiGet 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYQuality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYGet hair care that is completely customized to your hair and your life AND get 15% off at Prose.com/multiamory Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For our second part of our non-monogamy in the workplace series, we're talking about how to actually go about opening up at work, what kinds of changes your organization can do to make the most impact the fastest, and why companies should care about being accepting and open. To tackle these topics, we're sharing some excerpts from an interview with Dr. Lily Lamboy from the OPEN Workplaces Initiative. Dr. Lily Lamboy is a social impact executive, educator, and researcher who currently serves as the Director of the Open Workplaces Initiative at the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy and the Co-Founder of the Modern Family Institute. She holds a PhD in Political Science from Stanford University, where she also served as a Lecturer in both the Rhetoric and Feminist, Gender & Sexuality Studies programs. Dr. Lamboy previously led the Diversity, Equity & Inclusion functions at both Stripe and Blue Shield of California, scaling both internal-facing employee-focused strategies and external-facing health equity, social justice, and economic initiatives. Find information about the organizations Dr. Lamboy is a part of at www.modernfamilyinstitute.org and www.open-love.org. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYConnect with your partner every day using Paired. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Join Beducated for 40% off their yearly pass and level up your sex life at https://beducate.me/pd2406-multiamory with promo code multiamory Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is the first part of a two-parter series on being out as non-monogamous at work. We're going to explore pros and cons being out at work, some tips on making the workplace a more welcoming place for diverse relationships, and some ways to help you decide if being out at work is the right decision or not for you. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Get hair care that is completely customized to your hair and your life AND get 15% off at Prose.com/multiamoryThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Connect with your partner every day using Paired. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're welcoming back Emily Nagoski to talk about her newest book, Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections. Emily is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling Come As You Are, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Her next book, Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections will be out in January 2024.Emily earned an M.S. in counseling and a Ph.D. in health behavior, both from Indiana University, with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute. Now she combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She lives in Massachusetts with two dogs, a cat, and a cartoonist. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiQuality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYControl Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code MULTIAMORY at LumeDeodorant.com Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're welcoming back Damona Hoffman, the Resident Love Expert of The Drew Barrymore Show and OkCupid's Official Dating Coach. Damona is the host of the long-running podcast Dates & Mates, which has just begun airing its 10th season. She is also an advice columnist for the LA Times and a writer on dating and relationships for the Washington Post. Damona can frequently be seen on Access Daily sharing the latest dating news. We're going to be discussing her upcoming book, F the Fairytale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Get 50% off chef-crafted, dietitian-approved meals at factormeals.com/multi50Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYGet 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're excited to have a special episode this week! Today Dedeker is flying solo and having a fantastic conversation with board-certified dance/movement therapist Orit Krug. Orit Krug is an award-winning Board-Certified Dance/Movement Therapist and Licensed Creative Arts Therapist. Orit helps individuals & couples expand their capacity for self-love and intimacy in relationships by processing past trauma stored in the body. Orit is polyamorous, partnered, and a parent to a toddler.Dedeker and Orit discuss their experiences working with non-monogamous clients, dive into why there can be such a disconnect between your body and your brain when undertaking something new and scary like a non-traditional relationship, moving through sensations of jealousy, generating a sense of safe boundaries, and more! If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYGet a personalized original song and put it on Spotify for free at our special link Songfinch.com/multiamory This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Connect with your partner every day using Paired. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices