The Dream Marriage

In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, the Dalkes talk through ways to stay connected to your spouse in the midst of all the phases of parenting.  From babies and toddlers, to kids in activities and sports, to helping teenagers grow into young adults…wherever you find your parenting and your marriage, there are ways to put your marriage 1st in every season.  Listen in as Brian and Allison discuss the challenges of each phase of parenting and ways you can intentionally connect with your spouse in the midst of it all.  Their FREE weekly meeting guide can be found at www.thedreammarriage.com  They also discussing checking in with your spouse throughout the day and week by asking one of the following questions:  On a scale of 1-100, how full is your emotional tank right now? How can I help you today or this week? Or What can I take off your plate?What’s been bothering you lately? Or what are you excited about right now?  The Dalkes also mention praying over your spouse daily. If you don’t know what to say or how to start, you can start with the Priestly blessing found in Numbers 6:24-26.  As always, you can email the Dalkes anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com or find them on Facebook or Instagram at The Dream Marriage.

Part 2 of this special edition of the Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke share the highs and lows of the past 20 years of their marriage.  Plus, registration for their LIVE course: Building the Foundation of the Dream Marriage is extended until Thursday, August 16th and is limited to a small number of couples. So head over to www.thedreammarriage.com today to get signed up before the doors close!

On this special edition of the Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke share the highs and lows of the past 20 years of their marriage.  Plus, registration for their LIVE course: Building the Foundation of the Dream Marriage is only open until Friday, August 9th and is limited to a small number of couples. So head over to www.thedreammarriage.com today to get signed up before the doors close!    The Messy Table podcast  https://open.spotify.com/show/0Al8PTzVQLng4oAe9V6fEZ?si=ec388c9c9a9148b9

Start: In this episode of The Dream Marriage Podcast, the Dalkes briefly share what they’ve been up to lately (hint: it’s mostly about being farmers!). They also share about a recent marriage intensive they hosted in Mexico with one other couple.    10:30: Brian and Allison discuss how they have discovered a foundation of basic needs that all marriages need to thrive. After working with hundreds of couples over the past seven years, they have identified a hierarchy of needs within marriage similar to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.    29:00:  Big News!! For the first time ever, the Dalkes are offering a live online course to help all marriages go from either bad to good or good to great by teaching couples to understand their foundational needs and giving them the tools they need to start rebuilding the foundation of their marriage today. Couples will also have lifetime access to the course, should they ever want a refresher. Spots are very limited, so don't wait.   If you are interested in learning more about the live course, go to https://www.thedreammarriage.com/foundation   Email the Dalkes anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com    Or check out their free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of The Dream Marriage Podcast the Dalkes discuss role play and whether or not it’s okay in a Christian marriage.  They discuss their personal story of role play and how it’s evolved over the years. They explain why role play usually crosses the biblical boundary of adultery. Pretending your spouse is someone else is adultery, and thus, not within the boundary of what the Bible says is okay.  Can you role play with your spouse in a way that is within the bounds? Hear about a fun (and Biblical way) to role play with your spouse, and how the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith inspired it.  Plus, the Dalkes mention their upcoming dream marriage retreat in November of 2024 in Cancun, Mexico. Head to their website to get on the wait list for all the details if you think you and your spouse might be interested. Rest, intimacy, amazing food, plus dreaming with your spouse and creating a vision and plan for your future while there.  Email them anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com  Or check out their free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of The Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke discuss the use of sex toys within marriage. They talk about the cultural stigma around sex toys, and how using sex toys is a personal preference that each couple has to come to an agreement on.  Allison shares her personal story of experimenting with sex toys early in their marriage and then why she suddenly didn’t want to use them in sex anymore and why.  They also talk about how they have both grown both spiritually and emotionally which has shaped their intimacy and exploration in the bedroom.  They talk about multiple orgasms, safe places to buy sex toys, why good communication is key to this process, and how ultimately the goal is always and only to increase your intimacy with your spouse.  www.covenantspice.com  For more resources and their free YES/NO/MAYBE Intimacy Checklist, head to their website at www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of The Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke discuss how their appreciation journal turned super sexy, and how that journal has continued to grow their appreciation of each other and their intimacy in the bedroom.  How a journal (no matter how you use it) can increase your intimacy and appreciation for each other. Plus, they discuss how writing physically changes the way we think and process.  Unlined leather journal: https://a.co/d/5XCR89t  Lined leather journal: https://a.co/d/4ZnEI23  For more resources and their free YES/NO/MAYBE Intimacy Checklist, head to their website at www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke discuss how (homemade) videos and photos can enhance your sex life.  Allison talks about her experience having boudoir photos taken for Brian and how it made her feel about herself and her body.  Brian shares how he keeps photos and videos secured on his phone.  https://between.us/?lang=en  Remember that your yes/no/maybes can change through different seasons of your life and as your intimacy grows.   Download their free YES/NO/MAYBE Intimacy checklist at www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke talk about how to plan for and better anticipate sex.  They talk about how scheduling sex can actually be a huge turn-on as you anticipate sex throughout the day. We plan and prepare for things that are important to us. We make space on our calendars for things that have value in our lives.  Scheduling sex can help prevent dry spells in your sex life depending on your season of life.  They also talk about how lingerie can help you think about sex throughout the day.  They challenge listeners to ask each other, "what can I do to better help you anticipate sex?"  Texting throughout the day, leaving notes for each other, etc.  Plus their recent story of scheduling sex and how it didn’t go as it planned.  For more resources and their free YES/NO/MAYBE Intimacy Checklist, head to their website at www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke talk about the importance of self-care when it comes to sex. Why does taking care of our bodies physically increases our desire for sex and our confidence when we have sex? Plus, how fueling our bodies with the right food and taking care of our bodies can also increase our libido.  How can you better prepare yourself for sex both mentally and physically? Small shifts in your thinking about sex can make a huge difference in the bedroom. For more information and to find their free YES/NO/MAYBE Intimacy Checklist go to www.thedreammarriage.com

Let's talk about sex! In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, the Dalkes discuss the importance of communicating with your spouse during and after sex and how doing so can create more intimacy and pleasure for both of you.  Sex is a huge gift from God that is meant to be enjoyed in the marital bed! But learning about your spouse and their body is a life-long journey, and that's why communication during and after sex can be so beneficial.  Brian and Allison talk about why and how the sexual exploration of our bodies can lead to more intimacy and pleasure in the bedroom.    Links from this episode: Joyce and Clifford Penner Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women  The yes/no/maybe list  Email the Dalkes anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com  Or check out their other free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of the Dream Marriage Podcast, the Dalkes talk about about what the Bible says is okay and not okay when it comes to sex. They outline the Biblical boundaries around sex based onHebrews 13:4  There should be: No adultery, no fornication, and no lust or coveting, but aside from that?....it's all game!   Within the marital bed of a covenant relationship there is so much freedom and fun in sex.  But remember, we don’t want to play the comparison game. What is okay for one couple is not necessarily okay for another couple.  Biblical reference from this episode: Proverbs 5:18-19 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 Check out their YES/NO/MAYBE Intimacy Checklist on their website at www.thedreammarriage.com    For Men and Women Only book link: https://a.co/d/aYwbeYZ    Coming up next week: communication during and after sex  Email the Dalkes anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com  Or check out their free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, the Dalkes discuss the sexual baggage we bring into our marriages.  We all bring sexual baggage into our marriage whether we’ve had sexual experiences before marriage or not.  The Dalkes talk through 4 areas of sexual baggage: the things we’ve seen, the things we’ve done, the things that have been done to us, and the things we believe about sex. They bring up important questions such as: Is the pleasure of sex just for men? Or for men and women both? How does sexual baggage affect your sex life in marriage? What are our personal expectations of sex? And where do they derive from?   How do you begin to heal from or get free from that baggage so you can experience the freedom that God has for us within the marriage bed?  They discuss why communication about sex is vital to a healthy and thriving sex life, and how exploring each other's bodies can be a form of healing from sexual baggage.    Important Links mentioned in today's episode: Online Christian Couple's Counseling:  https://www.heyritual.com/  Breaking soul ties link/prayer  https://wildatheart.org/prayer/breaking-soul-ties-wah-podcast    His Needs Her Needs book  https://a.co/d/dw8riX6    Healing from sexual baggage resource links:  Joyce and Clifford Penner's books: The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment: https://a.co/d/2IZdBlV   Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure: https://a.co/d/7PBmUkb  The Married Guide Guy’s to Great Sex: https://a.co/d/bb7A60P    As always, you can email the Dalkes anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com  Or check out their free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

On this episode of the Dream Marriage Podcast, Allison and Brian talk begin the conversation about sex and your marriage.  The secular world owns the conversation about sex, but sex was created to be a gift from god to a married couple in covenant. The secular world glorifies sex outside marriage, while the church rarely talks about the gift that sex is inside of marriage.  This episode is an honest conversation about the preconceived notions and expectations we bring into marriage about sex, and how those beliefs effect our sex life long term.  Links and other resources mentioned in this episode: Full set of God’s Design for Sex Books (all 4 books for all age groups included) (does not include the parent’s guide) https://a.co/d/0zqVC9UHow and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex: A Lifelong Approach to Shaping Your Child’s Sexual Character (God's Design for Sex) (Parent’s Guide) https://a.co/d/5uuVBFt The Story of Me: Babies, Bodies, and a Very Good God (God's Design for Sex) (ages 3-5 years) https://a.co/d/fsqStTg Before I Was Born: God Knew My Name (God's Design for Sex) (ages 5-8 years) https://a.co/d/2vf0OEz What’s the Big Deal? Why God Cares About Sex (ages 8-12)  https://a.co/d/g3svOo3 Finding the Facts: The Truth About Sex and You (ages 12-16) https://a.co/d/7Kt3QWN  Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com  Or check out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of the dream marriage podcast, the Dalkes have an important and honest conversation about porn and your marriage.  Here are a few links to the MANY videos/articles we watched while researching the effects of porn for this episode. There are MANY more out there. Just go look and do your research. This should get you started, though.  (Video) A doctor's take on the negative effects of porn on men https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTVyjLPLkfk  (Article) 5 Ex-Porn Performers Who are Now Anti-Porn: https://fightthenewdrug.org/5-popular-ex-porn-stars-who-are-now-anti-porn/  Education about the effects of porn: (so many incredible articles here!) https://fightthenewdrug.org/blog/    Life Changing Resources for those Addicted to Porn:  https://bravehearts.org/  www.thefreedomfight.org www.covenanteyes.com  Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com Or check out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of the Dream Marriage, the Dalkes discuss the importance of not only praying for your spouse but also praying over your spouse.    They talk about their personal experience with this practice and share practical ways to get started.    Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com  Or checkout out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of the Dream Marriage, Brian and Allison Dalke update listeners on the dreams they're chasing as a couple and a family. They believe that it's essential for all couples to dream together, and they practice what they preach.  Hear their story of selling their dream home, moving to 50 acres in the country, and their decision to become flower farmers.  They discuss how dream chasing is hard, and how dreams usually change over time.  In this episode, they encourage listeners to not limit God.  To hear why dreaming is essential for couples and how you can start to dream with your spouse, check out this previous episode of the podcast https://thedreammarriagepodcast.podbean.com/e/dreaming-with-your-spouse/ Soul Shepherding Institute link https://www.soulshepherding.org/institute/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA_5WvBhBAEiwAZtCU7-5YlxnKjdlVEY7zEkpp997YU2ui5jOdXZMlha9rEtVdsiRU9JG-9RoCX00QAvD_BwE   Download our Couples’ Guide to Dream Chasing at www.thedreammarriage.com    Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com    Or checkout out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke discuss how their family settles into a rhythm of Sabbath rest. It's not about religion; it's about how we were made for work and rest.  This one practice has drastically changed the Dalkes' marriage, work, life, and family time.    Links:  Annie Downs: That sounds fun podcast with John Mark Comer  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/january-2018-rhythms-sabbath-john-mark-comer/id944925529?i=1000399594293  John Mark Comer’s book Garden City https://a.co/d/5tIvg85  Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com  Or checkout out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke discuss the benefit of having clear boundaries around the way you spend your time.  What would your family say is most important to you based on how you spend your time? Are you spending your time on things that are the best things for you and your future?  Brian and Allison discuss the things that take up our mental and physical time as well as emotional margin. They talk about everything from fantasy football to social media and even work and why boundaries around how we spend our time can ultimately give us more freedom.  How we spend our time cultivates who we become. Everything you spend your time on is a deposit towards who you’re ultimately becoming.  If you’re lacking margin and extra time, why? What is it that you’re spending your time doing?  Are you intentionally or unintentionally spending your time being busy doing things so you don’t have to think/process? Anything that we can do too much can be bad for us.  As you assess the way you’re spending your time, ask yourself these questions:  Is it healthy? Does it honor God?  Is it necessary?  Sometimes we need boundaries around a certain area of our lives for just a season.  One of the ways you can gauge where you might need some boundaries is where there is a tension spot in your day, in your soul, or with your partner.  Remember, as you honestly assess how you’re spending your time, give yourself  grace.  What do you want to be known for? How we spend our time is how we build our legacy.    Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com  Or checkout out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke discuss the power of your words. Your words have the power of life and death in your marriage.  Is it okay to “vent” about your spouse to others? Can you trust that your spouse only speaks positively about you when you’re not around? They outline the things they never say about each other to other people and the only exceptions to this rule.  What habits do you have around the words you speak about your spouse?  One person in the relationship can make a change that positively impacts your relationship just by awakening to the words being spoken.   Plus, how do make a shift if you are in the habit of speaking about your spouse without honor? It’s simpler than you might think. And the results are marriage changing.  Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com Or checkout out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com