In the last episode we talked about how to uncover the strengths of your team even in the middle of chaos. Not the individual team member strengths – but what collectively as a group emerges when you work together that makes the team better together. Let’s take the question deeper:  “How can we leverage the strengths we’ve identified for our team to work better together?” If you’ve named that a strength of the team is that they are responsive to the needs of each other >> well then tomorrow when you go to work you might start seeing how they listen, step up, and help others.  You’ve put on a lens that changes how you see what is going on around you. Now that we see them, how do we reinforce them? UNCOVER STRENGTHS STORIES - ON REPEAT Every 3 to 6 months, repeat the session from the last episode where you identify the strengths you see in the stories. You’ll also get a chance to notice trends over time. What are some of the new strengths you see emerging?  When you add people to the team, how does it influence team strengths? What do you notice about what the team is capable of?  REINFORCING KEY STRENGTHS You see it’s not only about naming the strength, but clarifying the situations where that strength is a strength and what situations might derail that strength and burnout the team or negatively impact the client served by the team. If your team has a strength of responsiveness, then try out some questions like this: What makes responsiveness an important strength for our work? What are the kinds of situations that we need to respond to? What are the situations that are okay to let go and not be so responsive? How do we manage this strength of responsiveness so that doesn’t burn us out? EMBED A STRENGTH INTO A PROCESS It’s really about creating norms for how this team does what it does. All too often, norms are more like unwritten rules. If you’re around long enough you might be able to pick up on the team’s strengths, but nobody has really solidified that into the way work gets done. People just have to figure it out as they go. A way to really leverage a strength is to take the implicit understanding of how things get done and why it matters and make that explicit. The more you can make the strengths you have as a team move from the unwritten rules to embedded in the way things get done then the more you are able to leverage that strength. LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recording Episode 65: Uncover Strengths Through Stories Episode 38: Shift the Negative Vibe on the Team Episode 32: Starting Your New Team Off Right Learn more about Annie

“How do we figure out what our strengths are in the middle of all the chaos that we are dealing with that tends us towards focusing on what’s wrong or what we need to fix?” Let’s dive into a way for you to work with your team to change the narrative through a storytelling activity. Listen to the podcast for the full description and use the instructions below as a guide if you’d like to facilitate your own team activity.  PREWORK:  Set a meeting time – 90 to 120 minutes. To prepare for the session, ask participants to think of one or two stories BEFORE they come to the meeting.  Plan your meeting in 3 steps! STEP 1. Have everyone think of their one or two stories they prepared on how they experienced the team at their best. Ask them to write down a few notes on a piece of paper to remind them of the story. Give them 5-10 minutes. Use these question prompts: What happened?  What contributed to making that experience good?  What was the result of the team working at their best? STEP 2. Everyone takes a turn sharing a single story - round robin style. It’s okay if someone wants to “pass”. They can still contribute to the discussion, because there are two roles to play: The storyteller shares what happened, what made it good, and what was the result of the team being at their best – and in 2 minutes or less. You’ll need a timekeeper. It’s not a deep dive into one story – but seeing trends across many stories.  The audience in the room writes on post it notes a word or phrase that describes the strengths that they hear demonstrated in the story. After the storyteller is done, the audience shares their post it note and places it on the wall. Then move on to the next story  After everyone who wants to share has told one story, you can wrap around again to people who might have a second story to share. You can’t have too many because in the next step we will narrow it down.  STEP 3: After you’re done storytelling, leave the last 30 minutes of the meeting to step back and cluster like post-it notes together as a group. Which ones are duplicate words that came up across the stories? What are similar themes that emerged through the storytelling? If your list still seems too big and a little unwieldy, then have the group vote on their top three with check marks or sticky dots. When you’ve narrowed it down, ask the group to reflect on the strengths they see and ask a few reflection questions like: How do these strengths make us a better team? What are we doing right now that could benefit from leveraging more of our strengths? Sometimes strengths go unnoticed and then underutilized. By mining for strengths through storytelling you can find ways to “formalize” the use of strengths in the way you structure work or project timelines. You end up solving problems without overfocusing on what’s wrong, instead you’re focusing on what is right about the team. LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recording Episode 38: Shift the Negative Vibe on the Team Episode 32: Starting Your New Team Off Right Learn more about Annie

What makes someone a leader? It seems like some people are thrown into leadership and others strive for it?  You can hear both parts of the question that are really linked together. One, what is a leader? And the other is how does one become a leader? Last episode we walked through the conversation on what actually is a leader? But how do leaders of any kind become leaders? It seems like some people are thrown into leadership and others strive for it. THROWN INTO LEADERSHIP There are some leaders who seem to just fall into it. Even at a young age people recognize their influence and follow. They may rise up quickly and can be given higher levels of responsibility and influence. There are strengths and shadows on both sides of being thrown into leadership. Strengths – In these moments when someone sort of “falls into leadership” the key relationships and the natural charisma  contribute to influence. They can be like accelerants that open doors more quickly so it can seem like they are “born leaders.” These qualities allow them to rally followers and create momentum into the future.  Shadows – Quick rise risks not developing the character needed to sustain the pressure of leadership or they may be sidetracked by the realities of living leadership in the trenches. It creates a potential blindside that if left unaddressed can lead to burnout or poor choices in personal morality that can have devastating effects on other people. Leaders that “fall into leadership” have a great responsibility to steward their gifts, opportunity and relationships with humility and put in the work to surround themselves with honest friends.  STRIVE FOR IT Leadership isn’t handed to them, but they have to work for every ounce of influence they have, they have to pursue positions that might not be readily handed to them. There might be more asking – and having to face some rejections along the way and rebound from it.  Strengths - influence through the setbacks is a more sustainable influence built on experiences that ultimately followers can resonate with.  Shadows - resentment can build up in the face of life’s setbacks and some give up the striving.  Many potential leaders do the work, get the training, have the expertise and can still hit a glass ceiling or unfair limitations. If you’re one of those striving for leadership and hitting a ceiling, my challenge is to broaden your definition of leadership if you haven’t already. Check out the last episode! The risk in either scenario is that you focus on leadership rather than the person who you want to be and the person God wants you to be. So, do the work to build your character. Surround yourself with people who can be honest with you. Walk in humility and self awareness. Continue to pursue growth. LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recording Episode 52: Leading a Mentored Life Episode 47: Leading From Your Center Episode 35: A Non-Anxious Presence in an Anxious World Episode 27: The Biggest Mistakes Leaders Make Blog: Let Your Values Be Your Guide Learn more about Annie

Are leaders born or made? It’s human nature to sort things by comparing this or that. However, this kind of sorting has significant limitations. In spite of that, this exercise of sorting can help us achieve a deeper understanding of a thing or get clearer on our criteria for a decision. Add to it a lens of both / and it can be helpful in answering today’s question.  What makes someone a leader? It seems like some people are thrown into leadership and others strive for it? Let’s first dive into the question of “what is a leader?” Next episode we’ll talk about how  some people are thrown into leadership and others strive for it. So, what is a leader… Positional Leadership In my opinion this is the least influential type of leader. You could say they have followers because the org chart draws a line from other people to the leader. But, if you define followership as loyalty and support – well, it doesn’t take much to see how limiting this definition of leadership really is.  Expert leadership When people see competency they are drawn to it. There have been leaders – without an organizational title – that have changed the world and people have followed the ideas of inventors or scientists and that influence has moved well beyond any organization. It also shows up in other roles like trainers, or consultants, or contractors; an author or podcaster who contributes their expertise to influence the direction or capacity of the team.  Thought leadership Closely associated with this subject matter expert or expert leader is a thought leader. A thought leader is more like a mentor or a sage. Someone who has been where you are and offers insight and wisdom into your situation because they have been there before. Roles might look like a board member who serves as an advisor, it might be a senior leader who offers advice to other leaders, it could be a consultant outside the organization who brings their wisdom from experience to you to share.  Relational leadership There are people on our team that are just natural at creating allies, networking across the organization and bringing people together. This relational influence is powerful when accompanied by a positional role, but doesn’t require a position to be leadership. If you look around your team or your organization, you’ll notice the people that have influence regardless of position. People know them. People go to them. Their words have impact. People will follow their lead even if they don’t have the position.  Links to Check Out: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recording Episode 52: Leading a Mentored Life Episode 48: Helping Others Embrace Change Episode 47: Leading From Your Center Episode 27: The Biggest Mistakes Leaders Make Learn more about Annie

"As I take on more leadership responsibilities, I’m finding that I need more time to step back and do more planning and strategizing. How do I make that time productive so I don’t just spin my wheels?" It’s true that the more responsibilities you take on the more time you need to step back and plan things out a bit. You can actually keep falling behind if you don’t step back and get a little strategic. It is actually a productivity strategy.   PLAN YOUR TIME TO PLAN First, you do have to plan the time. Block it on your calendar. Notice when you blow through the time block and do something else instead. You need to run a few experiments. Try different times of day. Try different techniques during the time you block. Give yourself a trial period maybe weeks or months FIND THE RIGHT TIME Everybody has a “most productive time of day.” It’s usually a block of 2-3 hours when we feel fresh. Creativity is easier to access. You have the capacity to do things that require focus. Finding the right time for thinking time is about that space in the day when you are most alert and ready to engage creativity, strategy and imagination. If you are low on energy when you start, you’ll likely quit and as the brain will go back to the easy thing. ENGAGE THE SENSES Another way you can help your brain be activated during your thinking time >> thus making it more productive >> is to engage your senses. It’s not just reflection but writing too. Not just dreaming but drawing too. Not just planning, but sharing the plan or talking it through with others. STRUCTURE YOUR TIME One of the reasons your thinking time can turn into just wheels spinning is because you don’t have a goal or a framework for your time. Having a target for your time will make it more productive. And, a framework can accelerate your thinking. Give you a track to run on so that you move toward your goal. Play with some of the ideas and then step back and reflect on what’s working and what’s not.  LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recording Episode 60: Finding the Unasked Question Blog: Eisenhower Matrix Blog: Meeting Framework Blog: Team Decision Making Framework Episode 10: Questions to Help You Make Decisions Learn more about Annie

If you are changing something and you want to know if it's working or not, the place to start is making sure the target that you’re aiming for is clear. Without that clarity, you can't know if you’re hitting it or not. With that clarity, you can notice the clues that tell you you’re on the right track. How do I know if an idea for improving our program is working or not? We've got some great testimonials, but that's about it. What else should we be looking for? GET CLEAR ON THE TARGET If the target is too big, it’s hard to collect data so we tend to focus on stories. You can’t adapt and make changes if you only focus on stories. Objective measures are needed to know if your target is actually the right target.  If it’s too narrow, then you only look in one place, one data set: the number of participants or attendance. If you do that then you might miss some of the other clues that your change is having an impact.  BEYOND THE TESTIMONY Program outcomes are sometimes harder to measure because they are less tangible than say profits or number of sales or something easier to capture. That shouldn’t stop us from trying. Let’s make it simple and talk about the words you use. Verb: If you are making a change to your program, then you should be using a verb, right? Verb is action – you are doing something, taking some sort of action that will have a different result. So, what’s your verb? Noun: Once you have your verb, then think about your noun. Who or what will be affected by the change? Find your WHO will need to make change and WHO will benefit from the change. Then, identify a NOUN that describes the WHAT. What behaviors will change in either the participants or the program leaders to reach your target?  WHAT TO MEASURE You can start with testimonies and stories you’re hearing and even proactively collect them with targeted questions that help you see if the change is working. Then, add some other objective measures: It might be financial measures like cost or cost savings or revenue generation. It might be more outcomes based, like activity or satisfaction data It could also be that pre-data and post data comparison over time  You could also tract participation or even retention over time Any of these measures add more nuance to the testimonies and stories you collect. All of those things together can help you know if your idea is working or not.            LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recording Episode 60: Finding the Unasked Question Episode 48: Helping Others Embrace Change Episode 10: Questions to Help You Make Decisions Learn more about Annie

If simply stating the future reality or making a plan to solve the challenge actually got us there then the journey from today’s reality to tomorrow's future would be easy. The unknown and often overlooked space is the gap between the current state and the future state. And too often we are unaware of the obstacles that we are about to hit on the journey from point A to point B. That’s where the unasked questions need to be asked.  Finding the Unasked Question When faced with a problem, a current reality that is not working the way we had hoped, we tend not to think about asking a question. Instead, our tendency is to resort to making a statement about our current reality or what we see as the solution. Things like: “The problem is _________” “What we need is ________” “The solutions is __________” Any of these statements create a fact in our brain and trick us into thinking the situation is a fact and not a question filled with possibilities. To find the unasked question frame each of these statements into a question that opens the door to multiple options. Finding the Right Question Instead of “What we need is ________” frame a question. “If we need _________, what is holding us back from getting it? Are there other needs that we have that we might not be noticing right now? How will meeting this need make a difference? What will it cost us to meet this need in time and resources? How realistic is it for us to be able to meet this need? Asking the unasked question about the situation could reveal the deeper problem or deeper need. You could try asking things like, “How did it get this way? Why does it stay this way? What would it look like if it was working the way we intended?” Anytime you find yourself facing a problem by making a statement, pause, turn to each other and ask: “Is there a question we should be asking instead?” Finding Thinking Time It is an intentional activity to step away and force time to find that unasked question. We need questions more than statements to move forward into options and possibilities instead of narrowing it down to a solution statement.  Your goal in leadership and helping others lead well is to guide yourself and others in a process of finding the obstacles that stand in the way of your solution.  To do that you need to find the unasked questions.  Links to Check Out: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recording Annie’s Blog: Turn Your Advice into a Good Question Episode 1: Asking Powerful Questions Episode 10: Questions to Help You Make Decisions Episode 20: Back Pocket Questions to Save the Day Episode 30: Questions: To Ask or Not To Ask Episode 40: The Question You’ve Always Wanted to Ask Episode 50: What’s Your Question Asking Style?

It seems like as soon as I tackle one thing and regain a little hope that I’ve got this thing handled, the next thing comes along and throws me for a loop. How do I manage this cycle that keeps getting repeated in my leadership? I’m reminded of Jesus who said, “in this world you will have trouble, But take heart, I have overcome the world.”  He didn’t say there’s gonna be trouble, but don’t worry, you’ll overcome it.  Instead, he said, “you’ll have trouble, but don’t fret because I’ve overcome the world.”  So, how does this understanding play out in our resilience – our capacity to handle adversity and the ability to bounce back from it? BUILDING CAPACITY TO WITHSTAND ADVERSITY When I think about building capacity I get this image of stretching or expanding to make room for something.  To create capacity by doing hard things over and over then you are going to have to have some supports in place that make it possible to stay “loose” — or maybe rubbery like a rubber band that can stretch.  What if our job in building capacity isn’t about doing the right thing, sucking it up and making things work, what if it’s about staying “loose” and flexible and moldable.  I’m not trying to minimize hard things – they are hard. It’s okay to sit down and grieve a little bit – to get sad or angry and even feel like you’re gonna throw in the towel.  But, add to that space other people, moments of meditation or music, add in a walk or a run. Noticing that these simple activities move you toward faith. Toward the belief that things will work out.  BOUNCING BACK FROM ADVERSITY It would be really hard to bounce back if you don’t feel like you have solid ground to stand on. I think this is where we go back to our “Why” – our purpose and anchor back into that. And sometimes we need other people to remind us of our why – there was a reason we said yes to leadership. That purpose stabilizes the shaky ground. Remember, rarely does anyone bounce back alone. It’s a together sort of thing.  It’s a life long journey of stretching and growing in the face of adversity. We don’t have to do it alone. Jesus already did it and we can lean into that confidence and surround ourselves with people who will help us walk through.      Links to Check Out: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recording Episode 41: Bouncing Back From a Team Fallout Episode 35: A Non-Anxious Presence in an Anxious World Learn more about Annie

I’m often reminded about how I need to pause to celebrate accomplishments. But what if it’s been a season of near misses when it comes to accomplishments? How do I celebrate that?  Let’s talk about a reframe around celebration today. How celebration time is productive time. How missing that moment is detrimental to the mission. And how even failures are worth celebrating. Are you ready for that one? All of these “how tos” stem from a recent question I’ve been asked. REFRAME THE CELEBRATION Celebration is productive time. If we don’t pause to look back and notice where we are, then our forward momentum can be unproductive. Celebration is productive time because it helps us make sure we’re on the right track.  Missing this moment is detrimental to the mission. Whether we hit or miss one of these smaller goals on our way doesn’t change the mission. Without the pause to stop and look at the compass, we can get off track. It’s worth it to celebrate those near misses.  Celebrating failures sort of feels like an oxymoron. We can celebrate near-misses. Because we can gain so much from those seasons. And that gain is worth celebrating.  THREE QUESTIONS: What do I need to let go of from this season?  When it comes to failures, we can carry into our next season unhelpful things that will actually hold us back from taking a risk or put us in a place to do a “pendulum” swing in our next season because we are over reacting to our last failure. Release those things in this past season that could hold you back.  Which is: What did I learn in this season? When we forget to “celebrate” the good and the bad we miss out on the learning that can happen in either season. Whether it was just a near miss or an utter failure, it is worth celebrating what we learned – or what we have gained in this season.  What do I want to take from this last season into my next season? Noting what was gained in the former season will help you accelerate your next season. It’s like a building block and if you build on the good in the former things then the next season becomes stronger.  It’s in the celebration of accomplishments as well as the near mission that we learn. In the layering of that learning you grow, your team grows and you will grow into your mission.           Links to Check Out: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recording Episode 41: Bouncing Back From a Team Fallout Episode 35: A Non-Anxious Presence in an Anxious World Blog: Leading the Way to Confidence Blog: Four Confidence Building Strategies Learn more about Annie

What questions can I ask in an interview to find out what I really need to know about the job candidate? If you’re looking for that next addition to your team and you want to find that right fit, it can be challenging. You’ve probably had an experience before where you’ve thought you’ve found the right person and it didn’t work out.  So, how do you discern if this candidate is the right one for the job? Start with 3 - 5 critical qualities that you’re looking to assess in the interview. Then design the process to help you assess each candidate against those qualities.  Number 1: WATCH OUT FOR YOUR OWN BIAS Rather than ignoring them, name them so they don’t drive the interview in the background. Be willing to challenge yourself so you don’t default to stereotypes. Design the interview to allow the candidate to challenge your assumptions.  Number 2: DON'T INTERVIEW ALONE Sometimes other people can see things we can’t see. Maybe they have a different experience and interaction with the role you’re hiring for. Just be clear right at the front end what you are expecting from them, if they have a vote or just feedback. Then clarify the feedback you're looking for is not whether they like the candidate or not, instead feedback for each candidate on the 3 - 5 qualities you are assessing.  Number 3: ASK BETTER QUESTIONS Ask Specific Questions: Move beyond strengths and weaknesses to asking about the specific skills you need. Example: “Tell me about a time when you had to take initiative and lead a project or team. How did you handle it and what was the outcome?”  Ask Behavioral Based Questions: When you are designing questions, think about the kinds of situations they will face in the role and the skills you are trying to assess. Then ask specific, behavior-based questions like: “Tell me about a time someone criticized your work. How did you respond and what did you learn?” Number 4: DO MORE THAN JUST INTERVIEW #1 – make sure to check references and stay open minded about what you hear.  #2 – don’t be afraid to ask for examples of work or give them an assignment. #3 - use a hiring assessment. There is no guarantee that if you do a better interview process you will be guaranteed to find the perfect fit. But, if you do a more intentional process focused on assessing the right stuff you’ll increase your chances and reduce your risk.  Links to Check Out: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recordingEpisode 53: Three Ways to Inspire ReflectionEpisode 18: How Do You Hire the Right One?Episode 5: Write a Job Description that Fits RightBlog: Hiring “Right” the First TimeLearn more about Annie

If you're facing a conundrum, when do you hold that close to protect the team from the complexity of it all and when do you bring in the team on the conundrum because they can help or they just really need to know because it will affect them?  That’s our big question today. Let’s listen in on this leader’s question: “We're facing a difficult situation and I'm not exactly sure the best step forward. Should I bring the team in on the situation? If so, what is the best way to do that?” WHEN DO YOU BRING THEM IN? WHEN THE STEP FORWARD IS UNCLEAR: Involve others. It might be your team – but it could also be your board, a coach or mentor, a spiritual advisor, a networking group. WHEN CONSEQUENCES IMPACT THE TEAM: The consequences of moving forward OR even of not moving forward will impact the team - a role, relationships or responsibilities. WHEN YOUR TEAM HAS THE EXPERTISE: Maybe they have information because of their role. Maybe you’ve experienced their wisdom in previous situations. Maybe they have resources or know someone outside the organization who can offer expert advice. HOW DO YOU BRING THEM IN? Quick answer … give them the simplest true thing and then add in the complexity.  SHOW CONCERN Verbalizing and acknowledging how they might feel or the potential impact or possible risks shows that you’re concerned about them. They matter and their emotional and psychological needs are in your view. REINFORCE STABILITY You’ll want to remind them of the facts, figures, timelines and plans for the situation. Things like:   Remind of their job securityGive financial data to demonstrate stabilityShare the plan for how to deal with the situation Think about  what your team will need to know that you’ve got this thing and you’ll lead them through. OFFER HOPE Offering hope is painting a picture of the future that can pull people forward. Keeps them from getting stuck or afraid. You want your hope to be somewhat realistic. If it’s too “pie in the sky” it can have a counter effect, but a realistic hope can be a powerful motivator that can help your team bring their best selves to the situation. LEVERAGE TRUST There is a daily discipline of building trust. Bank it up before the problem ever begins is going to help you deliver the message well and will carry you even if you don’t. It will also help reinforce everything you do as you show concern, and offer stability and hope.  LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recordingEpisode 36: When You’ve Got Bad News to ShareEpisode 34: A Non-Anxious Presence in an Anxious WorldEpisode 24: What if We Disagree on Direction?Learn more about Annie

How do I deal with a co-worker when I feel like they rub me the wrong way when we interact?  One of the hardest things on a team is when people struggle through the personality clashes that are inevitable when different people try to work together.  Yet, the diversity of different personalities working together can create such rich perspectives and deep insight into a situation.  But before you can benefit from that kind of diversity, you’ve got to navigate beyond the personality clash.  You’ll need to find your own way through – but you can gain an awful lot of ideas from hearing how other people have done it. Thanks for asking me to share! Here’s a few things to think about: SEEK TO UNDERSTAND The natural human assumption is that people think and see the same way that we do. Even though we might know in our head that’s not true, our behaviors don’t follow suit. We go into the default mode of our own personality and expect people to approach things the same way.   The expectation that others will be like us and need what we need can backfire and create the personality clashes you’re talking about. Learning the styles and approaches of others on your team using one of many assessments can help you gain understanding and give each other more grace. Once you have some understanding, then, go deeper with more conversation and asking more questions. The kinds of questions that demonstrate that you want to listen and understand to build a deeper relationship. INITIATE RELATIONSHIP When people don’t make sense to us it can be really easy to retreat or avoid. We can tend to create work-arounds so that we actually can sideline the other person from our experience. Who wants to deal with a difficult personality anyway, right? What if you change the story . . . instead of avoiding or deflecting, what if you go toward that difficult person? If someone has offended us or frustrated us and we start to retreat we can begin to tell ourselves the story that they need to fix it and they need to make it right. And while that may be true, if you keep telling that story over and over the personality clash will remain and likely get worse with some pretty tough consequences for the team. BELIEVE THE BEST When we experience personality clashes, it’s really hard to believe the best about people. Usually things have been said or done that may be experienced as hurtful when personalities clash. The natural response is to see the other person as an adversary.  What if we instead started to think about the other person as an ally that hasn’t yet been won over? Or a skeptic that might be able to offer a different angle or perspective that we might need to hear? It doesn’t always work to navigate personality clashes on your own. Though, I challenge you to give it a go before you bring in others or create those workarounds that hinder teamwork.  LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recordingEpisode 45: Reshape the Conflict TriangleEpisode 50: What is Your Question Asking Style?Episode 26: Disagreements and Team CohesionLearn more about Annie

"What do I do when the workload is more than what I can do and everybody on my team is in the same place. I've always been able to just work harder to get through, but that doesn't work anymore and there just isn't anybody to delegate to without adding to the overwhelming workload they already have." We’ve all gone through seasons in our work that are overwhelming. Often our approach is just to “get through it” and we push toward the light at the end of the tunnel. That is one strategy we can use, but probably not the only one. Especially when that overwhelm becomes chronic and you don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Rachel Uthmann, Director of Training for International Association for Refugees speaks to this question of overwhelm through this lens of deeply caring for the people we serve and those chronic spaces when secondary trauma contributes to our own overwhelm as leaders. Check out the highlights from this episode: When the needs are truly overwhelming from a human perspective, it’s easy to keep pushing harder and harder until you break.It’s important to step back and ask, what is my role? My place? What is it that I've been called to do, my motivation, the fuel that drives me. I encounter people with burnout working with refugees or in other kinds of social service areas to where their motivation is coming from wanting to achieve something.Some tangible outcome (no child goes hungry; everyone has a home) usually requires change and or cooperation from other people or systems beyond yourself. Whenever that becomes your motivation, you’re destined for burnout. Steve Cuss in his book Managing Leadership Anxiety talks about how we're perfectly human sized. And that's actually all we were called to be. And what a gift. I can't solve the world's pain at the moment. I can be that fabulous friend to the person in front of me. I can honor the story of the one who's sitting across from me.These questions help me when I get overwhelmed with the need or the chaos:What is it that is mine to do? What is it that is actually within my capacity? What is it that you've called me to in terms of my responsibility? What am I unable to do? What is it that belongs to someone else today? What is it that belongs to God alone?  And before you ask those questions, when you feel that anxiety building of the impossible is being asked of you. Go take a walk. Get a snack. Take a nap.People can get to that place of compassion fatigue, or secondary trauma – sometimes called vicarious trauma or the concept that trauma is contagious.Caregiver experiences, to a lesser degree, have the same symptoms the person experienced; dreaming about it at night; hypervigilant because of someone else’s story.Some people can be more vulnerable to secondary trauma, like having your own experience of trauma, being a survivor of trauma, and being high in empathy. When I listen to someone’s story it’s like they hand me a stone, a precious gift. I’d stick it in my pocket and then the next person, the next stone until my pockets were full of rocks. I had to learn to take the rocks back out of my pocket and put them somewhere important to me. Like finding ways to express what I have heard and seen.  LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recordingLearn more about International Association For Refugees: Training OpportunitiesAmerican Bible Society’s Trauma Healing InstituteConnect with Rachel through Transform Minnesota’s Trauma HealingSteve Cuss, Managing Leadership AnxietyLearn more about Annie

When we pause to reflect AND when we reflect with others, we embed that learning more deeply into our heart and soul. In this episode I invite you to join me in 3 different ways to engage questions to leverage reflection to become the leader we were meant to be.  HIGHLIGHTS AND LOWLIGHTS My 11-year-old daughter’s favorite conversation at the dinner table is to ask the questions: “What’s the best part of your day?” and “What’s the worst part of your day?” And then we each have to go around and answer.  Both lenses of the highs and lows give us the opportunity to notice what has happened . . . but reflection is actually more than that because while we want to notice what happened, we also want to ask why it was significant and what meaning you are assigning to that experience.  Two new ventures pushed me to grow this last year. My initial reflection is that I don’t like uncertainty. I learned something in that space of uncertainty, though. I found my courage because of the supportive people around me cheering me on and challenging my thinking.  Lesson Learned: Time I spend investing in my support network is well worth it! SUMMARY REFLECTIONS Putting it together into a memorable nugget helps me to remember things. It also reminds me of some of those old testament stories where God did something significant and the children of Israel named the place with a “bottom line” sort of word that described the experience so they would remember what God had done.  Coming up with one word was kind of a killer for me. Just one? I can’t do that. So, I didn’t. Instead, I popcorned out a list of words. Things came to mind for me like, partnerships; influence; bold, trying new things; energized; recharged.  Energized jumped off the page for me. Things have happened that cost me energy in the last year. And other activities have energized me.  Lesson Learned: Energy needs to be managed if we want to lead well.  GROWTH REFLECTIONS Expanding on the lens of what happened or what is happening in our external world, I also like questions about what’s happening on the inside of us. Some of the questions I reflected on with my mentor in our discussion last week were: What character trait did you develop most over the past year? What character trait did you rely on the most in the last year? How did you take care of yourself this year? The character trait that I worked on and relied on in the last year was learning to let go of the outcomes. Some things are mine to do and other things are God’s job or someone else’s job.  Lesson Learned: Challenge myself to let go of the outcomes and do my part to the best of my ability.  As I invest in my support network, and manage my energy, and let go of outcomes, I also need those moments of holy uselessness I talked about in Episode 28. I challenge you to interject an intentional pause regularly in 2023 to reflect and leverage your learning with others! LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recordingEpisode 52: Living a Mentored LifeEpisode 28: What is a Moment of Holy Uselessness?Episode 47: Leading From Your CenterEpisode 49: Recovering Confidence After a Tough SeasonBlog: Let Your Values Be Your GuideLearn more about Annie; Email Annie

"Sometimes I feel caught in the middle of meeting the needs of the team I lead and meeting the needs of my own leader. What are some ways you navigate leading in the middle?" Leading in the middle is this unique position in the organization where your team is looking to you to meet their needs and ALSO the leaders in the organization are coming to you with likely a different set of expectations. Join me with Laura Flanders, MA, BCC as we answer this question through the lens of living a mentored life  Actual learning, actual reflection is with another human person beside us. How we learn is am important thing to keep our finger on throughout lifeWe never stop learning – and it requires some internal workLeading means having to let go of my own tendency towards perfectionFirst, learn active listening to understand their true need and what’s yours to doTheir needs may be reasonable for you; but others may need to meet it, tooCommunicate the expectation that they need to work to meet their need – you aren’t all the solution even if you are a part of the solutionCoach, the person not the problem. Learn how tro ask high-level coaching questions that are really open ended and help them come up with their own solutions. Your new job is not getting all those tests done. Your new job is leading people. The art of listening is the primary skills for a new leader in middle managementDon’t think one  mentor – but a whole constellation of mentors – some who served you for just a day; others long term; others for a few months to help you learn one specific skill.There's no such a thing as a perfect mentor; rather a perfect constellation of mentors. Intentionality toward learning; it's a relational process, relational life towards that, then it's we're living and mentored life.  Links to Check Out: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recordingLiving a Mentored Life CourseConnect with Laura on LinkedInEmail LauraLearn more about Annie

"I've recently been promoted to a new role as leader and manager of this team. I'm excited, but as someone who's always had the checklist of to-dos, how do I think differently about this role? What do I not know that I should know?" The beginning of a thing can be hard. That’s the scary space where you’re not sure you have what it takes, and you just don’t know what you don’t know. Rather than getting things done on a check list. All of the sudden you’re in the space of building relationships, winning people over to ideas or change, setting aside thinking time to be intentional in leadership. EMPOWERING VS. DOING A huge mindset shift for you is going to be figuring out how to empower others to do the work instead of doing it yourself. You’ve got some muscle memory going on and it might be easy to fall into the trap of getting into the details and keep doing the work yourself. If you do, you’ll end up micromanaging instead of empowering.  Managing people is time consuming and you can’t check that off a list. You might have to shift your view of productivity. Rather than getting things done, the quality of your productivity is now defined by how well you can build relationships and coordinate workflow.  COACHING VS. PROBLEM-SOLVING Your team will come to you with problems to solve and you’re used to doing that – so it will be easy to simply tell them how to solve their problem – because it’s probably a problem you’ve seen before.  Now that you are a leader, rather than a goal of solving problems it’s about how well can you coach others to solve their own problems.  As leaders, we need to equip our teams to solve their own problems, or we will be dragged into the trenches and our team will never grow to achieve their full potential.  COORDINATION OF DELEGATION Affirm the strengths you see in your team. Keep delegated assignments consistent with what they have been doing without making any big changes in the early days. Don’t pull the positional authority move of – “I’m the manager”; but use relational influence as your first foot forward.  LETTING GO WHILE MANAGING TO OUTCOMES At the end of your day the success of each individual on your team is a reflection of your success as a manager. You will be held accountable for the results of your team so you’ll have to share that accountability with the team. As leaders we often must learn to let go of the specifics of how a thing gets done and focus on managing to the outcomes. Certainly, you want to equip people with steps and procedures that have worked to get to the outcomes but give some freedom to make changes without compromising the outcomes.  LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recordingEpisode 6: Leading Differently in a Remote WorldEpisode 14: Invite a New Leader to Hire a CoachEpisode 51: What’s Your Question Asking Style?More information on Communication Styles Assessment and TipsLearn more about Annie

Why is it that someone’s well intentioned question might land the wrong way?  if you are going to ask great questions – you’ve got to understand that it’s more than just asking open-ended questions. It’s helpful to know how others will hear and experience your questions. Let’s explore four different styles based on Myers Briggs Personality preferences. STRATEGIC THINKER Strategic Thinkers seek to understand a thing by turning it upside, inside-out and over and over again. They ask more questions that help them see the big picture and strategy from all the angles. However, in pursuit of satisfying curiosity and wanting to understand, these questions can sound like debating and trigger a defensive response unintentionally.  Pro-tip – notice body language. If someone’s posture changes, if their tone gets more tense, if their face gets tight or their responses more terse, then shift your question asking style. BRIDGE BUILDER Bridge builders look to ask questions that help find common ground. It’s less about specific detailed content and more on making connections by asking questions. However, these questions can sometimes feel disconnected. Less than relevant. And lingering too long feels like derailing the conversation. Pro-tip – notice confusion or frustration or tuning out. Switch to summarizing or paraphrasing to capture the conversation. PROBLEM SOLVERS Problem solvers are able to see all the parts and details and that’s where they camp out when asking questions. They see everything through the lens of problems to be solved. Sometimes people aren’t ready for the next step.  Pro tip - notice if the next step is a no-brainer but other people in the room aren’t getting on board; then pause and back up by asking different kinds of questions.  COMPASSIONATE CONNECTOR Compassionate Connectors will ask questions that help them step into other people’s shoes and understand their situation so they can gather details and understand what people need and what action can be taken.  Pro-tip – notice when people respond with a “but wait” tone or answer your very direct and specific questions with a “left field” sort of answer. That’s an indicator that you and that other person are probably looking through a different lens of curiosity and you can ask different questions.  LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recordingMore information on Communication Styles Assessment and TipsAnnie’s Blog: Turn Your Advice into a Good QuestionEpisode 1: Asking Powerful QuestionsEpisode 10: Questions to Help You Make DecisionsEpisode 20: Back Pocket Questions to Save the DayEpisode 30: Questions: To Ask or Not To AskEpisode 40: The Question You’ve Always Wanted to Ask\Learn more about Annie

"We've been through a tough season and it was really hard on all of us. We made it, but my confidence is a bit shaken. What can I do to rebuild my confidence and give my team a boost?" If you’re in leadership for any length of time you are going to have seasons that shake your confidence. Leading is filled with the unexpected and sometimes it’s those things that you have zero control over that wreak the most havoc on confidence. How do you build confidence in the hard seasons? ACKNOWLEDGE THE SEASON As a leader you call out the season for what it was – HARD. Then, turn it over to the team. Ask a few open ended questions, like: What was hard about this season for you?What did you learn about yourself in this season?What is your take away from this season? It’s like shedding light on the dark season and that alone can restore confidence in you and in the team. CAPTURE THE LEARNING It could be an informal conversation and you just make a mental note of what you are hearing from others. Or capture a list on a flip chart in a meeting. Keep a journal. You could even pick something you might invest in for personal development or team development in the future.  You’re not letting that hard season rob you, because you’re going to take away some learning from that experience and that’s going to propel you differently into the future.  GET MORE TOOLS What do you know about yourself that helps you to gain confidence? What is it that you can learn that would help you to feel more confident? For me it was grad school. It could also be reading a book. Taking a course. Getting a certification. Engaging a mentor. PARTNER WITH AN EXPERT Maybe you don’t have to be great at everything. The idea is for you to know your limits and stay in your wheelhouse as a leader. Stay in that space where you do feel really confident and then partner with others that have expertise different than your own. TRY AGAIN . . .  When it comes down to practical, hands-ons ways to build ideas. The best idea is to experience a positive situation. When we feel accomplished, we gain confidence.  Force yourself into it – but don’t freak yourself out – just do a small thing. A first step. Create safety nets. Seek wise counsel. Do some research. Use a framework. Rather than ignoring the hit to our confidence, we can take time when things aren’t as hard to intentionally reflect on and restore confidence, so we are ready for the next time.  LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recordingBlog: Four Confidence Building StrategiesBlog: Confidence is a Leader’s FriendBlog: Leading the Way To ConfidenceLearn more about Annie

We are facing some changes in our ministry. It's exciting for some, scary for others. What ideas do you have for how to keep the change going forward and bring people along? One of the challenges of leadership is guiding a group of people through change. People have different needs during change. Different perspectives on what should change or how it would change. Let’s add to that the reality that change is always happening around us.  Here to answer this leader’s question on bringing people along for the change is Markus Watson who is a seasoned pastor, host of Spiritual Life and Leadership podcast and author of Beyond Thingification: Helping Your Church Engage in God’s Mission. Dive into this episode to hear more about: Investing in your early adopters while caring for those with hesitationListening and asking good questions to engage conversation all along A story of reflection and direction dinners using appreciative inquiry listening to bring people along in the story of change. Change is coming out of conversationsA leader's job is to hold space for people’s anxiety even when it’s targeted toward the leaderFinding your self worth in your relationship with God instead of pleasing peopleThe power of listening God, listening to people and listening to communityUsing experiments to test ideas, reduce anxiety and involve people in the changeGiving people permission to be creative and think outside the boxEmbracing we are God's beloved and don’t need to prove ourselves “I think a lot of times when people feel heard, they're more willing to be open, even if it's not the outcome that they wouldn't necessarily choose for themselves.” “You've built enough of a healthy relationship and listened to them. And they have felt heard, and they have felt like they're part of the process so that they can eventually come along.” “People don't resist change. People resist loss, right? You have to help them grieve the loss of whatever it was.” Links to Check Out: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recordingBlog: Lead Through The Complexity of ChangeBeyond Thingification: Helping Your Church Engage in God’s Mission Free online course - Leading Your Church Through ChangeFind out more about Markus: www.markuswatson.comLearn more about Annie

As a woman in leadership, I find myself vacillating between pushing hard with intensity OR getting small when there is a lot of push back. I'd like to live more in the center. What are your thoughts on how to do that? Uniquely, for women in leadership, there’s a see-saw that we can ride trying to get centered on who we want to be as leaders. Sometimes the cards are stacked against women in leadership and it gives us the impression that we need to prove ourselves in ways that our counterparts don’t necessarily have to do. LEAD CENTERED IN YOUR VALUES The pressure to prove ourselves as women and even any leader can get us off-center from our core values. We often don’t know values are operating until some conflict rears up – like riding the see-saw, right? At that moment you feel tension within yourself and that tells you that a value is playing out right now. And sometimes that value looks like resistance, frustration, aggressiveness, but it can also look like giving up, walking away or getting small. To get off the see-saw of behavior, you’ve got to look deeper at what is going on behind the scenes and driving your discomfort or inner tension.  SURROUND YOURSELF WITH WISE, HONEST COUNSEL Whether a male or female leader, those I’ve worked with find talking through values to be invaluable. We need spaces in our lives as leaders where we can dig deep and articulate our core values. The questions, comments and encouragement from others around us can help us draw out those things which are consistently important to us  Clear values guide decisions and create the center point that holds you from over-intensity or minimizing who you are.  MORE CONFIDENCE WITH EXPERIENCE Anchoring into our values and gaining the kind of clarity that plays out in the trenches is about walking through this over and over again. It will mean coming back to center over and over again. Yep, the challenges you face – especially those that come from people around you will knock you off center over and over. Every single time is an opportunity to practice finding your center.  NEXT STEPS: Get clear on your valuesTalk it out with your peopleLive out your values It’s probably more like a cycle and less like steps. So, dive in and go around the circle a few times and see what you learn about living in your center.  LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recordingEpisode 35: A non-anxious presence in an anxious world Values ExerciseLearn more about Annie