It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan

Joe Ryan

Become a Paid Subscriber: https://anchor.fm/joeryan/subscribe For access to all episodes and bonus content, subscribe at https://joeryan.com/subscribe Real, genuine, vulnerable, and honest talk about trauma, abuse, addiction, PSTD, and anxiety, helping people to conquer their traumatic pasts. Through this podcast and one on one coaching read less

EP 0070 - Sitting With Uncomfortable Feelings
Jan 10 2023
EP 0070 - Sitting With Uncomfortable Feelings
Subscribe To All Episodes https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ Submit A Question https://joeryan.com/ask/ How do we sit with our pain? How do we learn to grieve loss, innocence, self-respect, and pride…all while learning to empower ourselves to live our daily lives? In this episode, Joe discusses how we need to treat the pain we feel every day the same way we would grieve something even more devasting, like a death of a friend, partner, or family member. His message is that it is ok to take time for yourself to focus on your pains (mental and physical) and how he handles these overwhelming feelings to feel free and go on with his daily life. in this Episode: Realizing it’s ok to wallow in your pain temporarily, just don’t get stuck in it!Learning balance- don’t wait too long to let these feelings build over time and then try to take on too much at onceMake plans to sit with yourself as you plan to be with friends. Learn where your feelings reside and learn not to suppress these feelings but to sit with them to build your strength up over timeLearning to identify where these pains reside…if it’s physical, where in your body does it reside and how you can rid yourself of it when it appearsGiving yourself some space to deal with your thoughts, feel discomfort, and don’t try to run from it – avoid the distractions and focus on where the discomfort comes from and learn to release itLearn to start the process the same way you would go back to the gym after years of sitting on the couch. Start small (light weights) and build this routine up over time until you can handle your bigger and more challenging issues.Learning not to feel shameful for having to stay home just to deal with these feelingsLearning that all of your addictions won’t fix your problems and remove the pains This episode provides solid, practical advice on how to deal with all your pains and to learn how the only thing in life that is limiting you is YOU! - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joeryan/message
EP 0068 - Grieving Loss
Nov 1 2022
EP 0068 - Grieving Loss
Subscribe To All Episodes https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ Submit A Question https://joeryan.com/ask/ Grief…dealing with heartbreak and loss. Most of us have grieved the loss of a loved one… a pet loss, a friend, a parent, or a romantic relationship. The process doesn't have a timeline, and all five stages are not linear, yet they are all intertwined. It’s a big bucket of emotions… grief, sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, confusion, frustration, fear, resentment, yearning, envy, etc. It's a lot of emotions to sort out, and it all stems from loss. In this episode, Joe covers his own journey that has reached the latter part of this process. Dealing with the recent ending of a year-long romance, Joe painfully shares how the pain process stems from the grief he feels and how he has learned to identify the series of emotions he is experiencing and how you can reconcile those same stages to help you deal with these same emotions. In this Episode: Opening yourself up, allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and giving away some of your powerThe George Costanza “do the opposite of your initial thoughts” paradoxNot letting your desires outweigh logicSurviving being “Open and Vulnerable” and the strength you gainDealing with the multiple stages of Grief and when you will know you have reached the last stage This episode builds off the last episode, Cut and Burn. The aftermath of staying in a relationship longer in order to grow from the experience is the conundrum. Part of the grieving process is to get to the point where you accept your role, you accept how you showed up, you accept the humiliation, and you accept all of the good and all the bad. But when we're in our grief and a breakup, all we can see is the hurt and the negative. If we don't get into our vulnerability, and we keep repeating the same patterns that we always repeat, and we cut and burn at the same point, we will never grow. We are never going to become stronger. We will never be able to work on dousing those fears and getting comfortable with being who we are. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joeryan/message
EP 0066 - Finding Joy
Sep 14 2022
EP 0066 - Finding Joy
Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ Why is happiness so elusive for some? Why do we always feel like we are “on guard”? This episode covers the process Joe has had to practice to make himself feel comfortable and in search of any sense of joy. How do you get to this place when you have had so much trauma and have lived with your “guard up” most of your life? This episode uncovers some important steps you will need to take to move through the process. Learning not to be afraid of feeling joy and how to accomplish this emotion is crucial. Getting over the fears and stop pretending to be someone else, always trying to do only what you are comfortable doing and projecting an image to others that don’t exist is a key component in your quest to find true joy in life! in this Episode: Scanning the room for safety and feeling comfortableDeprogramming & preparing for loss that may never comeBeing happy in a world where there seems to be no happinessTapping into the reservoir of JoyHaving a relationship with ourselvesBeing alone isn’t a punishment...its finding out how you really are! Struggling with the feeling of Joy This episode uncovers the importance of learning how to feed your soul and face your fears to take yourself off the journey of life on auto-pilot. Take time to figure out why you avoid certain situations and how to trust yourself in certain situations when they come up. Don’t paint yourself in a box. Move outside the box and learn to deal with your body's reactions. You have to start somewhere – a place that you may not want to go to first to end up in a place of joy. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joeryan/message
EP 0064 - Emotional Incest
Jul 26 2022
EP 0064 - Emotional Incest
Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ Do you find yourself watching what everybody else is doing or how they were feeling? What their anger level or resentment level may be? Are they overwhelmed or feeling peaceful? Is this a safe time or is it a fearful time?  Is your inner safety based on the people around you? If so, you may have experienced “Emotional Incest” as a child. These feelings are the outcome of something deeper that you couldn't comprehend back then…even though you may have sensed something wasn’t right in how you were treated by a parent(s). The topics in the “Emotional Incest” episode delve into how parents use their children to fill emotional holes in their life that stem from an unfulfilled marriage, and how that ultimately affects their ability to maintain a healthy self-image, and relationships in their adult life. Joe uncovers a number of emotions one feels when experiencing this sort of treatment and the steps necessary to course correct yourself now, and in the future. This episode covers many examples of what may be holding you back from being able to have a loving, caring, mutual “give and take” partnership with that special someone. These issues discussed have impacted many of us on different levels, with the greatest level being the recipient of “Emotional Incest”. Topics in this Episode: When two parents are not getting their needs met by each other, they will triangulate and try to get their needs met by their children.How can you rebound from being the recipient of Emotional Incest?Learn how to find your worth and value to give yourself the things that you have given awayLearned how to set boundaries- learn how to say no, to stand up for yourself, and to say this is where my emotional responsibility for you ends.Break the pattern of people pleasing and learn to take care of yourself- start loving yourself! Emotional incest victims don't know who they are or what they feel. They know what everybody else feels. Stop giving away your complete self from a place of deficiency. Work towards establishing a balance of give and take and avoid the feeling of fear that if you are constantly not doing enough for other people or they will be quick to leave! The ability to eliminate these fears and to work on your own needs and self-worth are covered in this episode. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joeryan/message
EP 0062 - Love Without Fear
Jun 14 2022
EP 0062 - Love Without Fear
Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ How do we reach a point of truly being able to love? How do we get past the fears we have built up that wall off the ability to feel safe and be able to share ourselves with people, especially with that “special one” when that time eventually arrives?  In this episode, Joe shares his innermost fears regarding being able to give and receive love freely. The topic of learning to be good on your own before you can be good with others highlights the importance of preparing yourself for when the times come you start to feel vulnerable with all others.  Topics in this Episode: Finding that feeling of love without fear… to feel safe without scanning the room for loss, hurt and betrayalEmotions are Energy…love, fear, anger & joy- learn to release and truly “feel” that energyHow to deal with feeling ”unprotected” and “out of balance” The journey inward…pulling back from the world to establish a baseline to learn how to trust yourself (and others) before going back “in” Learning to stop filling everyone else’s needs and learn to fill your own first The insight in this episode is powerful yet basic. The concept of establishing a firm footing within yourself (and in life) before being able to open up to others leads to feelings of euphoria and freedom that have been walled up for years behind feelings of fear and insecurity. Learning not to fear the things we can’t control will allow you to release the energy crucial to living…and trusting in the process of loving others properly. There is a reservoir of love that is built up inside us that needs to be released. Learn how you can put yourself in that position to pull that lever and let those feelings flow! - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joeryan/message
EP 0060 - Release The Pain
May 3 2022
EP 0060 - Release The Pain
Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ Release the Pain is a discussion based on a highly controversial Instagram post Joe made that stated ‘the fear you feel in your body is not happening now, it’s fear from your past that has been trapped inside of you”….Go back and re-experience the fear to release it”. The reaction from some readers triggered surprising push back, anger, and even hate! This episode delves into the process and reactions when allowing your thoughts and emotions to duke it out… to let them have a dialogue while you sit there as an innocent bystander and not mediate between the two. Topics in this Episode: We have things that happen where we don’t feel validated, and we don’t feel loved thus causing negative emotions. What happens when you express those feelings?What happens when the brain and the nervous system start to have a dialogue when dealing with suppressed feelings of frustration and anger?Learn to heal and not to avoid the pain and hurt in the processTeach your brain, your body and your soul to handle any discomfort you feel from within Fear, Humiliation, Feelings of Being Inadequate…how do you handle all of these feelings and how can you fix it? Listen and find out how Joe has learned to deal with it and how you can too! This powerful exercise helps you learn a technique Joe has found to handle the conflict he deals with often, and how it has helped him to better cope with these conflicting forces from within. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joeryan/message
EP 0059 - Vulnerability In Relationships
Apr 20 2022
EP 0059 - Vulnerability In Relationships
Become A Subscriber  https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ For access to all episodes and bonus content. In this episode, Joe really opens up…dealing with powerful issues surrounding ones’ authenticity and not pretending to be something you are by creating an image of himself that he needed to “survive”. Learn how to accept what comes in and out of your life and deal with things that are beyond your control by working on your self-worth and authenticity. Do the work, but don’t be isolated and avoid intimate relationships with others as you work through these issues. Be “seen” in the process as you work through these critical steps of transformation. In this episode, Joe covers how: You can't have authenticity without vulnerability Vulnerability is the “Truth” To work through the feelings of shame, self-hate, and worthlessness To get rid of your false self and allow others to see you for who you really are (your true being) There are great rewards in allowing yourself to be vulnerable to others. Being Vulnerable is taking a chance.  Learn how to live outside your false self to see who you truly are underneath it all! This episode uncovers critical steps to learning how we all come from different places in our feelings of vulnerability, yet we can all take the same steps to fix our fear of feeling vulnerable! Learn to become real and genuine!  - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joeryan/message
EP 0058 - An Unstuck Story
Apr 7 2022
EP 0058 - An Unstuck Story
Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ For access to all episodes and bonus content. An Unstuck Story is a powerful confession of Joes’ dramatic struggle to come to grips with his inability to do what his soul cries out for, not what is expected of him as a father, friend, son, and ex-husband. This episode deals with how to condition yourself to reach a point of doing “what will make you happy” vs “what everyone expects you to do”. Don’t sacrifice your own happiness…Identify your happy space and build the confidence needed to travel down that path to reach that point. Topics in this Episode Include: We live the life others need us to live..not always the one we want Our soul wants what it wants…our fears keep us “stuck” Creating a life that brings joy, peace, and happiness Starting the process of being “Unstuck.” Struggling with self-worth, guilt, and hesitancy in following a path of happiness that conflicts with what people around you expect from you? The path to becoming “unstuck” is revealed and provides basic insight on how you can do this in your own life to reach your “paradise”. The relief and internal peace you gain from listening to this episode is invaluable to your journey! Travel down that road with Joe and experience the relief and justification for your suppressed feelings and emotions by connecting with Joe’s moving confessions. - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ - Coaching: https://joeryan.com/coaching/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joeryan/message
EP 0046 - Shame Based Addict
Sep 13 2021
EP 0046 - Shame Based Addict
Become A Subscriber https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ For access to this episode and bonus content. In this episode, Joe talks about the self-conscious, shame-based feelings that he constantly faces and how he has learned to deal with them without mood altering. This episode delves deep into the protective actions one takes to hide feelings of shame and paralyzing yourself from life’s most simple activities! Topics in this Episode: -Starting with his first drink at 10, followed closely with prescription drugs and eventual heavy drug use later in life, Joe discussed the mind-altering use to mask the feelings of shame and the ultimate exhilarating “freedom” that followed -Building the Wall of Hiding from Yourself and Everyone Else -Looking into the Mirror and Seeing an Emotional Child, Not an Adult Ready to Live in This World -Dealing with “Going Outside Your Comfort Zone” -Learning to Adjust to New Surroundings and Protecting Yourself by Withdrawing from Daily Life Activities -Self-Sabotage -Seeing below the False Self… -Cutting Off from Your True Self and Realizing “Shame Rolls Down Hill” -Leaving Situations or Family Gatherings where Shaming is Continual -Heal the Shame by Coming Out of Hiding Shame is Exhausting, Depressing and a Dull Ache You Can’t Pinpoint - Website: https://joeryan.com - Instagram: https://instagram.com/joeryan - Subscribe: https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joeryan/message