S1E6 - The cheat code to hosting a memorable party with Nick Gray

Friendship Futurism

Sep 26 2022 • 51 mins

Nick and I talk about the secret tactics that novice and experienced hosts use to put together incredible parties, how to keep the momentum going in a party, how to reject someone you don't want to hang out with, and the world's best icebreaker question.

Nick is the bestselling author of The 2-Hour Cocktail Party, a step-by-step guide to easy-to-host parties to help you build relationships with regular gatherings. I also wrote a full, in-depth review of Nick's book at my book website: https://billmei.net/books/2-hour-cocktail-party/

1:20 Would you have name tags at your wedding?

2:10 Feedback on Nick's party

2:30 Bill's special icebreaker: Gives and Asks

3:30 How to give people notice for the icebreaker, to avoid breaking the flow while maintaining the velocity and energy of the room. How do you know when to interrupt the group and break the flow?

5:00 Nick's feedback with give and asks about calibrating and preparation

8:00 Hosting new gatherings when you already have a reputation as a great host

8:40 Learning Nights: Bill's monthly speaker series https://billmei.net/blog/learning-night

9:00 Diversity of the audience to lead to more interesting conversations

10:00 How to give people an excuse to mingle

10:50 The phrase "cocktail party", how should you host a party with people who don't drink?

12:00 How do you attract people who don't know you to come to a party you host?

15:00 Why it's important always to take a group photo of your event

  • Why extraverts forget what the world is like for most people who don't normally go to a lot of social events
  • The pros and cons of simple vs. grandiose parties.

17:00 How to make hosting a habit

18:50 How do you reject someone you don't want to hang out with?

  • Tactics to meet new friends in a new city

22:10 Have you ever needed to kick someone out of a party?

As a facilitator, how do you cut people off in a conversation? How do you make sure loud people don't take over the conversation from others?

24:40 Is money an obstacle to having good events? How to use money to create good events without making people envious of how much money you make?

  • Hiring a bartender
  • Hiring a photographer
  • Hiring musicians or entertainment

28:15 How to spend money without it coming across as trying too hard to impress people.

29:40 Who is someone you've met that has most changed your life?

32:30 What have you learned from our conversation?

  • Tradeoff between frequent vs. infrequent events

32:00 Question for Bill: When to take a group photo in a party?

  • Different acts of a movie vs. acts of a party.
  • Using act breaks to break the party up, and also as natural excuses for people to come and go.

36:30 How to physically implement an act break?

  • Change in environment and emotional tone.

38:20 How to encourage (or discourage) people from asking questions

40:30 How to encourage people to be more curious?

42:15 Most people want to talk about their ideas, they don't like learning about new ideas

44:50 The advantage of co-hosting an event

47:30 Are there any bucket list parties you've always wanted to throw?

Check out The 2-Hour Cocktail Party at https://party.pro

Learn more about Nick Gray at https://nickgray.net

Follow Bill Mei via email: https://billmei.net/email

Follow Bill Mei via Twitter: https://twitter.com/billmeidotnet

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