Trauma Hiders Club Podcast

Karen Goldfinger Baker

Trauma Hiders Club Podcast where high achievers like you finally reveal what keeps them awake at night, and that no amount of money or recognition will fix. I’m also making it my business to speak with people who get you.

Hell! I get you. I AM you!

So get your best hiders face, sit down and let you guard down! What’s on the other side of this shit. Will change your life.


Start Here
High-functioning Trauma Hiders and Their ‘Superpowers’ with Toku McCree
3d ago
High-functioning Trauma Hiders and Their ‘Superpowers’ with Toku McCree
Toku McCree is an executive coach. Formerly a monk, Toku lived in a Zen monastery where he vowed to liberate all beings from suffering. Today, as an executive coach, Toku has built a business to do just that. He founded Unexecutive.com—a platform that works to create enlightened leaders to solve the world’s most pressing problems—and has worked with many brilliant minds, from Zen Habits’ Leo Babauta to the marketing leaders of Pepsi and Nestle. But, to me, Toku is more than just an executive coach—he is love, accessibility, energy, calm, acceptance, and peace. Toku joins me today to discuss how trauma shows up in leadership and describes the dark side of trauma response as a superpower. He explains how our childhood experiences shape who we are. He describes his life at a Zen monastery and how his time there informs his work with his executive coaching clients. Toku also outlines how trauma and its resulting “superpowers” get in the way of leadership and underscores the importance of creating an environment where trust can flourish. “High-functioning trauma hiders develop superpowers through their trauma and, as a result, think that they should just use that capacity for everything, even when it’s not absolutely necessary.” - Toku McCree This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: Hiding suffering and Toku’s life in a Zen monasteryPerception versus communication and how hidden suffering tends to show up in the marginsHigh-functioning trauma hiders and how they overuse their superpowersRecruiting the “wormy squirmies” into our lives and how being comfortable in crisis makes us want to stir up troubleWhat carrying the weight of trauma as a leader looks likeIsolation and hypervigilance in relationships as a result of traumaThe dark side of perception as a superpower resulting from traumaHow “superpowers” from trauma can get in the way of leadershipThe relationship between trauma and trust and how mistrust costs foundersCreating an environment where people can become trustworthyOur other “superpowers,” mysticism and accepting the world as a mysterious placeToku’s journey into his life at a Zen monastery Connect with Toku McCree: UnexecutiveUnexecutive on LinkedInToku McCree on LinkedIn Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ episode with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
High-functioning Trauma Hiders and Their ‘Superpowers’ with Toku McCree
3d ago
High-functioning Trauma Hiders and Their ‘Superpowers’ with Toku McCree
Toku McCree is an executive coach. Formerly a monk, Toku lived in a Zen monastery where he vowed to liberate all beings from suffering. Today, as an executive coach, Toku has built a business to do just that. He founded Unexecutive.com—a platform that works to create enlightened leaders to solve the world’s most pressing problems—and has worked with many brilliant minds, from Zen Habits’ Leo Babauta to the marketing leaders of Pepsi and Nestle. But, to me, Toku is more than just an executive coach—he is love, accessibility, energy, calm, acceptance, and peace. Toku joins me today to discuss how trauma shows up in leadership and describes the dark side of trauma response as a superpower. He explains how our childhood experiences shape who we are. He describes his life at a Zen monastery and how his time there informs his work with his executive coaching clients. Toku also outlines how trauma and its resulting “superpowers” get in the way of leadership and underscores the importance of creating an environment where trust can flourish. “High-functioning trauma hiders develop superpowers through their trauma and, as a result, think that they should just use that capacity for everything, even when it’s not absolutely necessary.” - Toku McCree This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: Hiding suffering and Toku’s life in a Zen monasteryPerception versus communication and how hidden suffering tends to show up in the marginsHigh-functioning trauma hiders and how they overuse their superpowersRecruiting the “wormy squirmies” into our lives and how being comfortable in crisis makes us want to stir up troubleWhat carrying the weight of trauma as a leader looks likeIsolation and hypervigilance in relationships as a result of traumaThe dark side of perception as a superpower resulting from traumaHow “superpowers” from trauma can get in the way of leadershipThe relationship between trauma and trust and how mistrust costs foundersCreating an environment where people can become trustworthyOur other “superpowers,” mysticism and accepting the world as a mysterious placeToku’s journey into his life at a Zen monastery Connect with Toku McCree: UnexecutiveUnexecutive on LinkedInToku McCree on LinkedIn Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ episode with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Self Sabotage
Sep 22 2022
Self Sabotage
Despite its name, self-sabotage isn’t out to sabotage us at all—it exists to help keep us safe from potential danger or harm. It’s a protective mechanism created by our psyches to keep us safe, and what’s safe for our psyche is often what’s familiar. So, when we try to change our lives, our psyche triggers the alarm bells inside us, reverting us to our status quo and labeling it as self-sabotage. But if we view self-sabotage with gentleness and compassion, we may be able to turn it from foe to ally. In this episode, I explore self-sabotage and how it acts as a protective mechanism. I discuss compassionate curiosity, what it is, how it can help us work through our tendency to self-sabotage, and how we can develop it. I also outline the different ways our inner saboteur can manifest and explain how we can turn our fears from enemies to allies. “When we stop viewing it as ‘sabotage’ and start viewing it as parts of the brain trying to keep us safe, we can develop compassionate curiosity to notice what’s going on and what we’re afraid of.” - Karen Goldfinger Baker This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: What our inner saboteur is trying to protect us fromImpostor syndrome, ambivalence, fear of success, and other manifestations of self-sabotageThe power of compassionate curiosity Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The Magic that Deepened My Relationship
Sep 15 2022
The Magic that Deepened My Relationship
It’s confession time in the Trauma Hiders Club. One of the thoughts that held me back from healing my unprocessed trauma was the fear that I might end up divorced. I was scared that I might fall apart—shattered and broken—because all my trauma would fly around like the dementors in the Harry Potter books, sucking away all my happiness to leave me a soulless, unloving, and unlovable shell. Who would want to stay in a relationship with such a person? You know what I never thought? That sharing what felt right to be shared would deepen our relationship and invite us to connect with a mutual language, greater resonance, and more intimacy. In this episode of the Trauma Hiders Club, I discuss how sharing with my husband, David, how I wanted to work through my trauma impacted our relationship. I also break down how I committed to moving step by step toward healing. “I never thought that wrestling my inner dementors would open me up to greater connection, and that the magic in that would result in a more intimate, honest, and loving relationship.” - Karen Goldfinger Baker This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: What held me back from working through traumaHow I opened up with my partner about trauma, his reaction, and how it affected our relationshipHow I prioritized our relationship while working through the healing process Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Embracing Negative Emotions with Allison Crow
Sep 8 2022
Embracing Negative Emotions with Allison Crow
Allison Crow is a life and self-leadership coach for authentic, ambitious women. She has been teaching and coaching since the mid-90s and started coaching full-time in 2007 with Keller Williams Realty, where she established and carried out mentorship and coaching programs for new and existing agents. Today, Allison helps her clients work with thoughts, emotions, and behaviors through her coaching business, Soul-Full Living. In addition to her work as a coach, Allison also hosts the podcast, The Better Life Better Work Show, where she facilitates conversations on authentic leadership, self-leadership, and developing better life and work habits. Allison joins me today to discuss the Internal Family Systems Model and how it can help people heal. She shares what she learned from Thich Nhat Hanh about transforming difficult emotions and how she uses the Internal Family Systems Model to take it further. She explains how the coaching world can sometimes be damaging and highlights the importance of softness and compassion in the industry. Allison also discusses why there is no such thing as a ‘negative’ emotion and underscores the role of trust in authenticity. “To be your true self, you have to trust yourself; to trust yourself, you have to meet parts of yourself that the world, media, and culture consider ‘negative’ emotions.” - Allison Crow This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: The fear of letting go of our zone of excellenceWhat the Internal Family Systems Model is and how Richard Schwartz developed itWhat Allison learned from Thich Nhat Hanh about relating to angerHow an internal family system is different from a person’s family of originMaking a place for softness and compassion in the world of coachingWhat it means to be authenticThe role of trust in authenticityThe potential of the Internal Family Systems Model in unburdening and healingWhat the Internal Family Systems Model has done for Allison’s lifeWhy anger is not unholyWhy the coaching industry can sometimes be harmful and the reason being a “butt-kicking coach” steals autonomyWhy nothing is “pathologized” in IFSHow the soft, sweet parts of us can learn to stand up Resources Mentioned: Book: Taming the Tiger Within: Meditations on Transforming Difficult Emotions by Thich Nhat HanhStripping Down to Your Authentic Self | Allison Crow on Rich Litvin’s 4PC Connect with Allison Crow: Allison Crow WebsiteThe Better Life Better Work ShowAllison Crow on LinkedInAllison Crow on FacebookAllison Crow on InstagramAllison Crow on YouTube Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Emotional Armor
Sep 1 2022
Emotional Armor
If you’ve been listening to the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast for a while, you’ve likely heard the term “emotional armor” on several episodes with multiple guests. As adults, we’ve learned to keep our guards up—to protect ourselves from criticism and judgment. So we don full metal armor to cover our tender selves—sometimes without even thinking about it. I know this first hand because I’ve worn the armor for the vast majority of my life. In this episode, I discuss emotional armor—why we wear it and what it takes to shed it off. I describe the importance of play and why adults find playing difficult. I also explain how wearing emotional armor prevents us from authentically connecting with others and underscore the value of reconnecting with our inner child. “Imagine what your life would look like if you were able to take your armor off piece by piece—you, being the most you, not because you have to, but because you want to. Hell, yes.” - Karen Goldfinger Baker This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: The full emotional armor we carry around in our adult livesWhat causes us to collect emotional armor as we grow upWhy it’s difficult for adults to embrace playThe importance of connecting with the inner child Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Joy-Full at the Intersection of Entrepreneurship and Authenticity with Dr. Erin Baker
Aug 25 2022
Joy-Full at the Intersection of Entrepreneurship and Authenticity with Dr. Erin Baker
Dr. Erin Baker is a Doctor of Social Psychology, recovering big tech employee, trauma-informed coach, and occasional podcaster. Before becoming a self-leadership and business coach, Erin previously led the User Experience Research team at Facebook and was part of bringing Facebook Stories to 2 billion people. They were also the Director of User Experience Research & Design at Microsoft Yammer. An internal family systems practitioner and elite certified neuro-transformational coach, Erin completed their Ph.D. in Psychology at The University of Texas at Austin and graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of Michigan. Their book, Joy-Full AF: The Essential Business Strategy We’re Afraid to Put First will be available on September 7, 2022. Erin joins me today to discuss what it means to be Joy-full AF—in business and life. They describe what embracing joy looks like and explain why it is an essential part of career success. They highlight the difference between working through discomfort and the nervous system being unsafe. They also discuss why trauma is relevant to business, coaching, and everything in life, and underscore how we can all open up to joy. “There’s no universal definition of what it means to be joyful—it’s a full body experience only you can experience for yourself. The fun thing is discovering what joy means to you.” - Dr. Erin Baker This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: “Victoria’s Secret,” “Paint It Black,” and the role of music in Erin’s lifeWhat Erin learned from writing their upcoming book, Joy-full AFAcademic trauma and toxic positivityErin’s pivot from Facebook to become a trauma-informed coachTheir experience working at Facebook and how they became aware of the power of joyWhat it means to be joy-full and how to open up to itOur cultural associations with—and the fear of—chasing joyLeading with love and Erin’s 90-day live on FacebookWhat prevented Erin from seeing that joy was something they could embrace in their professional lifeWhy fear and love are dance partnersThe relationship between joy and trauma-informed coaching Resources Mentioned: Song: Ciara - Paint It, BlackSong: Jax - Victoria’s Secret Connect with Dr. Erin Baker: Erin Baker Website Erin Baker on LinkedIn Erin Baker on Instagram Erin Baker on Facebook Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Parental Protection
Aug 18 2022
Parental Protection
I’ve been wrestling with the concept of parental protection lately. You see, when I look back at how I was protected as a child, it appears to me like a confusing spirograph of control, fear, and demands. I wonder if “protection” is something that I imagined or actually experienced. Now, as a parent, I reflect on my role as a protector and realize that I’m a mixture of my parents—and the inner warrior I had to be for myself. In this episode, I discuss parental protection and how I experienced it as a child. I describe my longtime fantasy of protection. I also describe being encompassed in the protection of love and how I’m learning to accept it. “The loving protection of my children is rooted in truth and possibility. My boys were raised in the scary beauty that the world is a terrifying, magnificent place, and we live our lives.” - Karen Goldfinger Baker This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: Wrestling with parental protectionWhat my longtime fantasy of protection looks likeBeing a protector as a parent and how I’m protecting my kids Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ episode with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listening, Being, Doing, Creating with Toby Goodman
Aug 11 2022
Listening, Being, Doing, Creating with Toby Goodman
Toby Goodman is an author, coach, and the CEO of Podcast Network Solutions, a full-service podcast production company. He’s a sick-ass drummer who has traveled the world playing for a Rolling Stone, a Bee Gee, a Spice Girl, and TV talent show winners (and losers). In addition to his work as CEO of Podcast Network Solutions, Toby is the host of the Podcast Business Coach podcast and the creator of The Profitable Pod Method, a course that helps professionals use podcasting to scale their businesses. To me, Toby is a rockstar human—a courageous and kind force who played a pivotal role in bringing the Trauma Hiders Club podcast to life. In this episode, Toby and I discuss our creative process for developing and launching the Trauma Hiders Club podcast. We explore the value of creating a safe space where creative visions can manifest. We explain why bringing my authentic self into the podcast meant that it wouldn’t be for everyone. We also describe our experience going to an Elton John concert together and underscore the beauty of podcasting. “The beauty of a podcast is you don’t have to control when people hear your message—but it’s there for people to hear.” - Toby Goodman. This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: Conceptualizing the Trauma Hiders Club podcast and the first time I met TobyToby’s creative process for producing a podcastCreating a space for creative vision and my experience working with TobyWhy podcasts need to have a dedicated websiteBringing my authentic self to my website and podcastHow the podcast interviews and conversations have changed me over timeJohn Coltrane’s A Love Supreme and the beauty of podcasting Connect with Toby Goodman: Podcast Network SolutionsNarrow PodcastingPodcast: Podcast Business CoachBook: Narrow Podcasting: Make Profitable Connections and Grow your Business, Without Paid Ads, Sponsors, or Thousands of ListenersPodcast Network Solutions on LinkedInPodcast Network Solutions on FacebookToby Goodman on Instagram Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ episode with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club, and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The Shadow of the Personal Development World
Aug 4 2022
The Shadow of the Personal Development World
I’ve been working on my personal development for the vast majority of my life. I’ve also invested significantly in training, certification programs, and my own coaches. Over the last seven years or so, the deeper I have worked on myself, the deeper the work I offer my clients has become. While working on personal development has created some fundamental changes in my life and the lives of my clients, I’ve noticed that our relationship with personal development can sometimes be at odds with what the industry demands. In this episode, I discuss how the personal development world works and why its content might sometimes be harmful. I share the dangers of letting go of self-compassion and requiring immediate deep work from every insight we get. I also highlight that you’re adequate and deserving today while you practice the kind of person you want to be. “You get to practice being the human you want to be every day. You might fuck it up today, and you might fuck it up tomorrow, and you might fuck it up the next day, but you get to practice again.” - Karen Goldfinger Baker This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: My life and relationship with personal developmentThe personal development industry’s formula, how they sell, and the shadow of exploitationPracticing and holding on to self-compassion Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club, and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Truth, Discovery, and Family Lore with Jaimes McNeal
Jul 28 2022
Truth, Discovery, and Family Lore with Jaimes McNeal
Jaimes McNeal is a researcher, executive coach, and speaker. He is the President and Owner of JDM Coaching 360, a personal, professional, and organizational development company. Jaimes is a Ph.D. candidate for Business Psychology at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, where he also completed his Master of Arts in Industrial and Organizational Psychology. In addition to his work as an executive coach, Jaimes serves as a qualitative researcher at Brandtrust and adjunct instructor at Chowan University. Jaimes joins me today to discuss love, connection, and reconciling family lore and the stories we make up. He describes how his perception of his father changed after meeting him. He explains how he met and befriended the jazz singer, Nancy Wilson, and how he discovered that much of the magic in his life stems from his dad. Jaimes also reveals his superpowers and underscores how he’s learning to stay grounded in the present. “‘Lore’ is an important word. Human beings’ lives are based on the stories we are told, the stories that we tell, the stories that we make up.” - Jaimes McNeal This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: The goals of the Trauma Hiders Club podcastJaimes’s trip to see his aunts and fatherReconciling the family lore we hear and the stories we makeThe importance of family loreQuestioning truth and why hypervigilance may be an extreme form of intuitionHow Jaimes’s perception of his father changed after his visitBecoming friends with jazz singer, Nancy WilsonThe magical things happening in Jaimes’s lifeJaimes’s superpowers and what it takes for him to be present Related Content: Uncovering Founder’s Syndrome with Jaimes McNealListening to Your Inner Stirrings with Jaimes McNeal Connect with Jaimes McNeal: JDM Coaching 360Jaimes McNeal on LinkedInEmail: jaime@jdmcoaching360.com Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sisterhood and Belonging
Jul 21 2022
Sisterhood and Belonging
I went to a women’s retreat recently. This is huge, considering I avoid women’s retreats: them being specifically for women triggers several parts of me. But by going to this camp cultivation experience— masterfully created and facilitated by my friend and fellow coach, Allison Crow—in Dripping Springs, Texas, I learned so much about my avoidance and how I relate with women. In this episode, I share what I learned from attending a women’s retreat. I describe the first few years I went to overnight camp and how fear of rejection fuels my avoidance of women’s retreats. I also explain how I was able to relate with the other women in the camp and highlight the importance of women helping other women. “I don’t know when I’ll be at the next women’s retreat, but I do know this: I have not been rejected. I am worthy of belonging and I belong.” - Karen Goldfinger Baker This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: Going to a women’s retreat in hot-as-fuck Dripping Springs, TexasThe first time I went to an overnight campHow fear of rejection colored my view on women’s retreatsHow childhood sexual abuse impacted the way I relate to men and womenThe worst sister in the sisterhood of women Related Content: Embracing Negative Emotions with Allison Crow Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
What a Transformed Life Sounds Like with Joe Ryan
Jul 14 2022
What a Transformed Life Sounds Like with Joe Ryan
Joe Ryan is the creator and host of It's Not You; It’s Your Trauma, a podcast that tackles trauma, PTSD, abuse, anxiety, and recovery. During his lifelong path of overcoming trauma and shame, Joe has committed to paving the road for others. As a coach, Joe helps people heal and conquer their traumatic pasts through his one-on-one services. In addition to hosting his show and working as a trauma coach, Joe serves as the Director of Operations at HELIX, a premier WordPress hosting service for creatives. Joe joins us today to discuss the work he did to transform his life. He describes the guilt and self-betrayal one can feel after working to change their life. He explains why the more we cut off the dark parts of ourselves, the more they come back and bite us. He also discusses how cultivating patience and tolerance within has impacted his coaching practice and highlights why we need to stop hiding behind shame and abuse. “Learning to accept the shame that you feel eases the self-hate; once it eases, there’s space for self-compassion and understanding.” - Joe Ryan This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: Wearing new clothes and living more comfortably with an empowered lifeThe power of integration and accepting the darker parts of yourselfHow practicing self-compassion can open a space for surrender, peace, and loveFinding a good therapist and what it took to transform Dark Joe into Joyful/Abundant JoeHow transforming his life impacts Joe’s coaching practice and clientsCoaches and therapists who are not aware of their triggering tendenciesWhy we need to stop hiding behind shame and abuseHow to become authentic when you’ve been shamed, abused, or traumatized Related Content: The Courage to Connect with Our Feelings with Joe Ryan Connect with Joe Ryan: Joe Ryan WebsiteIt’s Not You; It’s Your Trauma PodcastJoe Ryan on LinkedInJoe Ryan on InstagramJoe Ryan on FacebookJoe Ryan on YouTube Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Fear and Freedom
Jul 7 2022
Fear and Freedom
Around a year ago, before the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast launched, I felt like I was in between two worlds. The first world was one of fear; the other world was freedom. The in-between was a clammy, sweaty, dry-mouthed, going-through-the-motion, emotionally-disconnected space—basically, my system’s happy place. I thought, at that time, that one world was an inside game, and the other an external affair. But a year and several intense and meaningful conversations with podcast guests later, I’ve learned so much about fear, freedom, and the world between them. In this episode, I take a retrospective look at my year of hosting the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast. I describe the chaos-loving internal system I built for myself and discuss the worlds of fear and freedom. I also explain why freedom is an external—as much as it is an internal—game. “Freedom is an inside and outside game. My way of being free is an invitation to you, the listener, to consider where you are trapped and where you are free.” - Karen Goldfinger Baker This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: What I learned from my first year with the Trauma Hiders Club PodcastMy internal, chaos-loving happy placeWhat my world of fear is scared ofWhy freedom is both an internal and external matter Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Meeting the Adult Child with Andrea Ashley
Jun 30 2022
Meeting the Adult Child with Andrea Ashley
Andrea Ashley is the host and producer of the Adult Child Podcast, the leading and fastest-growing podcast on the impact of growing up in an alcoholic and dysfunctional family. A CPA by profession, Andrea worked in accounting and financial firms before launching her podcast. She has worked in CFGI’s Business and Talent Acquisition team and was a senior consultant for Armanino, as well as an audit senior associate at KPMG US. At the Adult Child Podcast, Andrea and her guests have raw and vulnerable conversations about codependency, complex trauma, alcoholism and addiction, generational trauma, and toxic shame. Andrea joins me today to discuss connection, disconnection, dysfunction, and what it means to be an adult child. She describes her “Tale of Two Brains” and reveals what the Broken Picker Syndrome is. She shares her experience with severe separation anxiety as a child and explains how she realized that unresolved childhood trauma impacts how she maintains relationships. Andrea also highlights how therapy has helped her work through trauma and enumerates the characteristics that adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families have in common. “The journey into the soul to embrace our pain, live our authentic selves, and own our entire stories—especially the really messy shit—is a beautiful opportunity to heal and grow.” - Andrea Ashley This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: A Tale of Two Brains and the Broken Picker SyndromeHow Andrea realized her childhood upbringing impacted her previous relationshipsSevere separation anxiety and alcoholism as a symptom of family dysfunction and traumaWhat happens to abandonment issues when they’re not healedHow working with a therapist helped Andrea confront complex traumaWhat Andrea was like before she worked with a therapist and how she’s changedRecreating the chaos of our childhoodHow therapy led Andrea to search for her life purposeThe road to launching the Adult Child PodcastThe ACA’s Laundry ListEmbracing our past and our childhood Resources Mentioned: Dump Your ShitBook: Adult Children of Alcoholic / Dysfunctional Families by ACA WSOBook: The Abandonment Recovery Workbook: Guidance through the Five Stages of Healing from Abandonment, Heartbreak, and Loss by Susan Anderson Connect with Andrea Ashley: Adult Child PodcastAdult Child Podcast on LinkedInAdult Child Podcast on FacebookAdult Child Podcast on InstagramAdult Child Podcast on TikTokAndrea Ashley on LinkedInEmail: andrea@adultchildhoodpodcast.com Related Episodes: The Courage to Connect with Our Feelings with Joe Ryan Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Bon Voyage, Me!
Jun 23 2022
Bon Voyage, Me!
I’ve heard it said that the only trip that you regret is the one that you don’t take. Now, if you’re anything like me, powerful quotes like that get balled up, pushed through the pumper of emotions, and come out on the other side shaped like a big colorful mess of “Oh fuck. There you are, regret.” And in the age of global pandemic and collective trauma, it takes a lot to choose between regret and 15 days of adventure and travel in Europe. I choose unapologetic disruption. In this episode of the Trauma Hiders Club, I discuss regret, travels, and opening up to astonishment. I also share a big announcement about the podcast. “Traveling is exciting, curious, courageous, vulnerable, out of control, and exposed. I am present to fragility and overwhelm, and play and astonishment. All of it is welcome.” - Karen Goldfinger Baker This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: Adventures, travel, regret, and possibilityAn announcement regarding the Trauma Hiders Club podcastPracticing unapologetic disruption Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Bringing Fierce and Gentle Compassion Into the Writing Process with Heather Doyle Fraser
Jun 16 2022
Bringing Fierce and Gentle Compassion Into the Writing Process with Heather Doyle Fraser
Heather Doyle Fraser is a publisher and author, as well as the Founder of the Compassionate Mind Collaborative and its parent company, Beyond Challenge, LLC. As a coach and consultant, Heather utilizes compassionate mind skills and strategies to help clients share their voice, whether they are in the boardroom, navigating a career change, launching a business, or developing a book. She is the author of several books, including 40 Weeks, as well as the co-author of Freedom. Heather joins me today to discuss compassion, truth, joy, writing, and books. She shares her struggles with the writing process and her inner critic. She describes the fierceness and gentleness of compassion and explains why a writer needs to bring them into the process of creating a story. She also highlights why books mean so much to people and offers advice on bringing your voice into your writing. “Compassion is the ability and the willingness to see the pain and suffering in yourself and others—and is the motivation and courage to alleviate, lessen, or prevent that suffering.” - Heather Doyle Fraser This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: Heather’s struggles with the writing process and her inner criticThe fierceness and gentleness of compassionWhat it means to bring compassion into writingThe fear and doubt we encounter when we try to write and how to disengage from themHow your voice can make your story uniqueHow Heather works with her clients through the writing processWhy it’s important to bring your values into your writingWhy books mean so much to people and the first series of books Heather lovedMy self-imposed book ban and the books that Heather has re-read several timesOvercoming self-doubt in writing and the relationship between reading and writing Resources Mentioned: Book: Narrow Podcasting: Make Profitable Connections and Grow Your Business, Without Paid Ads, Sponsors, or Thousands of Listeners by Toby GoodmanBook: Blueberry Pie Elf by Jane ThayerBook: The Little House by Laura Ingalls WilderBook: The Alchemist: A Fable About Following Your Dream by Paulo CoelhoBook: The Great Work of Your Life: A Guide to the Journey to Your True Calling by Stephen CopeBook: All Souls Trilogy by Deborah HarknessBook: The Lightning Thief: Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick RiordanBook: Another America by Barbara KingsolverBook: Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara KingsolverBook: Anna Karenina by Leo TolstoyBook: Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Life and Love by Cheryl ShepherdBook: House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune Related Content: Podcast: Embracing Negative Emotions with Allison Crow Connect with Heather Doyle Fraser: The Compassionate Mind CollaborativeBook: Freedom: How Teens Can Use Mindful Compassion to Thrive in a Chaotic World and Grow a Purpose-Driven LifeBook: 40 Weeks: A Daily Journey of Inspiration and AbundanceBook: Daily Gratitude and Intention JournalThe Compassionate Mind Collaborative on FacebookHeather Doyle Fraser on LinkedInHeather Doyle Fraser on InstagramHeather Doyle Fraser on Twitter Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Healing Emotional Disconnection
Jun 9 2022
Healing Emotional Disconnection
I recently had a revelation that one of my biggest fears in life is being misunderstood. As a teeny tiny child—the youngest of three born in three years—I was often told to stop being such a baby. I was called an actress—specifically Sarah Bernhardt—because apparently, I was the drama. What I didn’t know then that I know now is that my parents regularly shutting me down was the fertilizer that helped me grow a thriving, flourishing system of emotional disconnection. In this episode, I discuss emotional disconnection and my fear of being misunderstood. I describe how I was regularly shut down as a child and how I came to dislike Sarah Bernhardt, whoever she is. I explain the roots and impact of emotional disconnection and underscore how you can reconnect with the parts of you that were consistently pushed down when you were young. “Start by noticing how you relate to your emotions. Connect to the you that’s real as opposed to the you that you’ve cultivated as the world piled its shit at you.” - Karen Goldfinger Baker This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: My fear of being misunderstoodThe impact and dangers of emotional disconnectionHow I came to dislike the actress, Sarah BernhardtHow our worldview informs how we choose our partnersReconnecting with the parts of you that were pushed away Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Leadership Trauma and Founder Anxiety with Will Rezin
Jun 2 2022
Leadership Trauma and Founder Anxiety with Will Rezin
Will Rezin is a somatic coach and trainer and trauma integration specialist who guides individuals on the journey of waking up to their aliveness. He is the Co-founder of Trauma and Somatics, a program that trains trauma-informed coaches and facilitators. As a coach, Will has served a wide range of clients, from Fortune 500 brand developers, app developers, and Emmy award-winning producers to TED speakers, actors, and NASA engineers. Will joins me today to discuss leadership trauma, founder anxiety, and how past experiences get triggered by present or future fears. He explains how stress impacts the body and prevents individuals from accessing the creative parts of their brains. He also highlights the detrimental parts of capitalist cultures, describes the role of founders and CEOs as visionaries, and reveals what it takes to be at peace with one’s success. “Trauma is not something to be ashamed of. It’s something we all experience, a by-product of the way humans have been taught to behave across thousands of years.” - Will Rezin This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: The notion of leadership traumaThe anxiety that executives and entrepreneurs feelHow our culture encourages us to get things right the first timeThe brain’s creative centers and how they allow business leaders to be confident visionariesBecoming the laziest founder or CEO there isThe sickness of capitalist culturesEquating being busy with working hardBeing at peace with success and enjoying lifeThe stress load on the body and how it impacts healthRemoving shame from traumaWill’s mission to end trauma for humanity Related Content: The Magic of Being Alive & Finding Support with Will Rezin Connect with Will Rezin: Trauma and SomaticsWill Rezin on LinkedIn Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Choosing Feeling over Thinking
May 26 2022
Choosing Feeling over Thinking
Imagine you’re in a conversation, and you’re asked how you feel about your success. Do you reply with “I think I can do more”? How about when you’re asked how you feel about your relationship with your father? Do you say, “I think he’s an honorable man”? Do you notice the pattern here? Each time you’re asked about how you feel, you respond by sharing what you think. In this episode, I discuss why we are inclined to share what we think when we are asked about what we feel. I also describe the possibilities that could open for us if we let ourselves sit with our emotions and express ourselves starting with the words “I feel.” “We say ‘think’ when we mean ‘feel’ because we don’t know how to feel our feelings. But imagine what we might discover if we expressed ourselves starting with ‘I feel.’” - Karen Goldfinger Baker This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: Defaulting to the “I think” patternOpening ourselves to our emotionsPracticing with “I feel…” sentences Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Leadership Trauma and the Value of Grieving with Yijen Liu
May 19 2022
Leadership Trauma and the Value of Grieving with Yijen Liu
Yijen Liu is an entrepreneur of the human potential movement and investor in Observant, a tech & AI start-up. She is an experienced product leader whose career includes serving as the Vice President of Product at Mezi.com, the Director of Product Management for Rdio, and the Head of Mobile Product of Amazon. She also served as a senior financial analyst at Microsoft. As an entrepreneur, Yijen founded Moment Coaching, through which she worked with organizations to develop leadership, teamwork, and communication until October 2021. She is also the Founder of the e-learning app, Human, and led its development until the company’s closing in January 2022. Yijen graduated from the Wharton School, where she completed her Bachelor’s degree in Finance and Management. Yijen joins me today to share her journey as a start-up founder. She outlines the events that led her to close her company and describes why founders tend to face business challenges alone. She explains how people tend to avoid life’s difficulties and discussions of failure. She also discusses her experience with impostor syndrome and the fear of failure and highlights the value of grieving. “Grieving quickly is grieving thoroughly; the fastest way to process it is to be honest.” - Yijen Liu This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast: Hiding trauma by forgettingLeadership trauma and Yijen’s experience closing her start-upThe three bullet points that led Yijen to close her companyWhy business leaders and entrepreneurs tend to face difficulties aloneThe relationship between shame and traumaHow Yijen experienced fear of failure as a leaderShowing up as a human, being a human, and doing human thingsThe importance of grieving for a lost vision Connect with Yijen Liu: ObservantObservant on TwitterObservant on LinkedInYijen Liu on LinkedInYijen Liu on Medium Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Trauma Hiders Club ‘The Podcast’ with Karen Goldfinger Baker. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts | TuneIn | GooglePlay | Stitcher | Spotify | Amazon Music Be sure to share your favorite episodes on social media to help me reach more high achievers, like you. Join me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn and visit my website to discover the rules of Trauma Club and grab your free download: Discover 5 Ways Your Fuckery Is Getting In The Way of The Next Level of Your Success.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.