ROAR! - Marilise de Villiers

Marilise de Villiers

You are listening to ROAR!, a podcast that shines a light on ordinary people living extraordinary lives. People who have faced and pushed through some of life's toughest storms to find their ROAR! ROAR! is a blueprint for living your best life: on purpose, in your power and with the courage to speak your truth. ROAR is also a four-step process for having kinder conversations - with yourself and others. Your best life is on the other side of your biggest storm. Are your ready to face it? Meet your host, Marilise de Villiers. A Mindset & Performance Coach, founder and CEO of ROAR! Coaching and Consulting and Best-selling Author. Marilise is passionate about helping people find their ROAR! Now it’s time to find your ROAR!
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Winning hearts & minds - a dark art?
Winning hearts & minds - a dark art?Re-defining grief for the real world with Dipti Tait
🎙️🦁 ROAR! hears from the ROARsome Dipti Tait - a relaxation ambassador who  teaches hypnotherapy and runs a global hypnotherapy practice. She is also a regular guest on BBC radio and breakfast TV 🦁 🎙️ Watch the full conversation:  Podcast YouTube "So my introduction to grief was because of death, the death of my parents. Then I realised that grief comes in many, many forms, and is not linked to death only. It is linked to the loss of anything you loved. Its could be the loss of business, loss of identity, loss of purpose, loss of health." Dipti Tait  About Dipti Dipti is a born and bred Londoner who now lives in cotswolds with her family. She has worked for the BBC and it was during her career break that tragedy struck and she lost both her parents within a short space of time. During this time Dipti discovered the world of self development, coaching and therapy and decided to dedicate the next phase of where life to mental health and wellbeing. Dipti has written two books on grief and is a fully trained hypnotherapist.  A few highlights from the conversation:  We discuss how grief can come in many many form and doesn't always stem from a negative experience. We explore the idea of turning discomfort and grief into fuel and in turn into power. We highlight the importance of building your resilience muscle.  And so much more! Do not miss this interview.  🧡🦁 Have you found your ROAR!? 🦁🧡   Listen to the Podcast | watch us in action on YouTube. SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss another episode!
Oct 5 2021
34 mins
Are you heading towards burnout?Fix toxic security culture before it kills your innovation.
🎙️🦁 Bullyproof hears from the ROARsome Jinan Budge - Principal Analyst, Forrester Research ... this is a cyber security special episode where we explore toxic security cultures, based on research Jinan published last year entitled: "Fix toxic security culture before it kills your innovation." 🦁 🎙️CAVEAT: Although this conversation was very specific to cyber security, it applies more broadly, so any organisation that may be experiencing toxic behaviours - or is tolerating a 'brilliant jerk' - can benefit from Jinan's fantastic insights.Watch the full conversation: YouTube "I knew from experience that we have a busted culture. You can hire as many people as you like, they are going to get into the security teams and experience the hideous toxicity and the way that we exclude people and the way that we can often be quite bullying towards one another."Jinan Budge  About JinanJinan leads Forrester’s security and risk research in Asia Pacific. Jinan’s research focuses on enabling the success of the chief information security officer (CISO) role; creating transformational cybersecurity strategies; and building security awareness, behavior, and culture programs at the heart of a security strategy. Jinan is a champion for diversity and inclusion in security and brings a local and global perspective and cultural lens to her research and practice. Follow Jinan's latest research here. A few highlights from the conversation: Jinan lives and breathes her purpose every day through her work at Forrester - her bio sums up her big WHY beautiful. We talk about why toxic security culture is such a big problem and give some tips for how to deal with itWe go deeper into Jinan's research "Fix toxic security culture before it kills your innovation" - what the research was intended to do and the key findings from it.We explore the reasons why people don't speak up... why workplace bullying largely remains a silent epidemicAnd so much more!Do not miss this interview. Jinan's wisdom is like gold dust and I can listen to her soothing voice all day. 🧡🦁 Have you found your ROAR!? 🦁🧡  Watch us in action on YouTube.SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss another episode!
Jun 9 2021
35 mins
Wellbeing through a male lens & being a female ally
🎙️🌿 Bullyproof hears from digital wellness coach Hannah Tufts ... we explore mental and emotional wellbeing through a male lens and what it takes to be a female ally.  🌿🎙️This week (15th-21st June 2021) the world celebrates Men’s Health Week. It's an opportunity to bring awareness to health issues that affect men disproportionately and focuses on getting men to become aware of problems they may have or could develop, and gain the courage to do something about it.Both Hannah and I want ALL men - our dads, partners, colleagues and youngsters - to feel like it’s OK to talk about their health issues - in particular mental and emotional health - not just push them to the side and ignore health problems away! "Sometimes resilience means curling up in a ball under your duvet and looking after yourself for a day. When you need it, that is resilience. Resilience isn't always going out there with your A-game on."Hannah Tufts  About HannahHannah is the owner of Exhale Global, she's a Cyber Security awareness specialist, content marketing strategist and digital well-being coach. Hannah has now settled in Spain with her partner and is mum to a two-year-old toddler and mini-dachshund. Hannah is a super self-motivated individual that thrives under pressure and she's on a mission to get creative with neuroscience as a way of affecting behaviour change - in particular as it relates to how we use tech to our advantage instead of becoming slaves to it. You can get in touch with Hannah here. A few highlights from the conversation: Variety is the spice of life for Hannah who wears many hats.Understanding how the brain works - the neuroscience - is vital in changing behaviour.Cyber security forms an integral part of your digital life - your are reliant on tech and being connected and with that comes being secure.Pandemic silver lining: more and more men are opening up (instead of bottling up) - we are normalising the conversation around mental and emotional wellbeing.It's OK not to be OK. It's OK to say it out loud. Ask for help - more and more men are doing it.Pandemic downside: we've seen a rise in bullying (or 'below the line') behaviour. Know that hurtful behaviour comes from a place of hurt.We've all been in survival mode for a long time and unfortunately we've not done so well on triggering our happy hormones (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins)... but that OK. It's OK not to be OK.  Be kinder to yourself and know that it is safe to speak up and explain why, what is going on. The worst thing to do is to put on a front - it's defensive and doesn't invite open and honest conversations.It starts with self-awareness. Get honest. Hold the mirror up and be honest about what you're thinking and feeling and why.Be open to the fact that we all have a different truth, be open to the possibility that you may not be right. Be curious about others' perspectives. Be curious, not furious.Self-compassion is vital... When facing difficult conversations, have positive regard for yourself and for the other person. Have a mindset of "I'm OK, you're OK"... this will set you up for success.Men are up against a lot of societal pressures to behave in a certain way and contain their emotions. As female allies we must recognise that there are a great list of things men a juggling that we've not talked about and we've not given space for in the past.Build your resilience muscle - your mental and physical stamina - daily. Self-care is a necessity, not a luxury. 🧡🦁 Have you found your ROAR! 🦁🧡
Jun 8 2021
33 mins
You are a leader ~ we all are ~ are you a liberated leader?
🦁💥I had a stunning conversation with Ali Stewart and Kate Turner!💥🦁Ali’s purpose is to help every leader on this planet make ‘developing people’, their number one priority. Kate wants to shift the paradigm of motivation and leadership in the workplace. At ROAR! We are passionate about people living successful, fulfilled and healthy lives - yo don't have to sacrifice your health and happiness at the expense of success (however you define it). It's about making your WHOLE life work. Embrace this episode from the perspective of "I am a leader and I have the potential to be a liberated leader."We have a closer look at Liberating Leadership, a proven methodology (four-step leadership process) that is taught to leaders and practitioners worldwide. I am a liberating leadership practitioner myself and I love its central mindset of "High Challenge and High Support" - which Ali, who is also the founder of the Liberating Leadership accrediting body, explains beautifully in this episode. We also dive deeper into courageous conversations  and the central mindset of "I'm OK, you're OK"- true leaders are unafraid to show up authentically and speak their truth. In fact, this is what my ROAR! Blueprint is all about: living your life on purpose, in your power and with the courage to speak your truth - I introduce my ROAR! Blueprint in my recent TEDx talk (this is the transcript, the talk will be in YouTube in a few weeks' time). I hope you enjoy this episode - let me know your thoughts and don't forget to subscribe! 🦁Have you found your ROAR!?🦁#leadership #highperformance #imok #youreok #highchallenge#highsupport #standinyourstrength #motivation #purpose
May 28 2021
37 mins
Drain the swamp that is toxic masculinity
🎙️❤️👾 Bullyproof hears from Cyber.sc founder and chief strategic Dominic Vogel  ...he is a self-proclaimed active positive troll, and his ROAR! is loud and clear: "Men, let's drain the swamp that is the culture of toxic masculinity. It's 2021 for heaven's sake"   👾❤️🎙️Perhaps not surprisingly, Dom was hit with an unusually high number of DMs (direct messages), after he posted the words above on LinkedIn a few weeks ago. As you can imagine, none of the private messages were particularly kind, and when Dom engaged to better understand the other perspectives, he was faced with ... nothing ... SILENCE. Antagonists were perfectly happy to attack Dom privately, but not publicly. Maybe it's because LinkedIn a professional network where people know their professional reputations are at stake? I wonder what the fall out would have been like on Twitter. I couldn't help but think about following words in You need to calm down, a song by Taylor Swift... It rings so true right now... "You are somebody that I don't knowBut you're taking shots at me like it's PatrónAnd I'm just like "Damn, it's 7:00 a.m."Say it in the street, that's a knock-outBut you say it in a Tweet, that's a cop-outAnd I'm just like, "Hey, are you okay?" I don't really want to say much more - this was a stunning conversation - full of Dom AWESOMENESS - and I want you all to hear it. Thank you Dom for being the AWESOME role-model you are. Like you, I believe in the power of uplifting others and being an active positive troll. It's a honour to call you a friend. Dom is challenging all men out there to become part of the solution. To become an active positive male ally for women in the workplace. Let's drain the swamp that is the culture of toxic masculinity. It's 2021 for heaven's sake."🧡🦁 It's time to find your ROAR! 🦁🧡Check out our new website:https://www.marilise-de-villiers.comConnect with Dom on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/domvogel
Apr 21 2021
36 mins
"How YOU doin?" Leading when the going gets tough
🎙️💥🥵 Bullyproof hears from executive performance coach Craig Preston ...how do you lead your team when everyone – including you – are exhausted?  🥵💥🎙️"How YOU doin'?" is a pickup line that encapsulates everything we know to be true about Joey in Friends, a man so confident in his looks and general appeal that he’d rarely pass up an opportunity to approach a beautiful woman. On a more serious note, how often do we ask someone how they're doing merely out of habit, without really meaning it? Being an authentic leader has never been more vital, which means really knowing how your people are doing - every individual. Perhaps even more importantly, asking yourself: "How am I doing?" We live in a time where leaders must step up to create safe and inclusive spaces for all - to speak up, say how they truly feel and ask for help. "What drives me is being part of a group of people, in a team, trying to achieve something together. Getting into an environment where people can celebrate their own and each other's successes."  Craig and I explore how to lead teams when the going gets tough and we took some inspiration from a recent HBR article: How to Lead When Your Team Is Exhausted — and You Are, Too "I think it's fair to say that everybody is now exhausted, we are ready to move into a recovery phase, a reorganising phase, a renewal phase... People are drained, and it's not only the team members, it's the leadership as well. And we often forget that. We expect our leaders to behave in a certain way, but leaders are knackered themselves."  Here are some of Craig's top tips: Balance urgency vs. importance: Deal with today's stuff, but also make some time in your day to plan ahead.Take quality time to recover: Remember, elite performance requires elite recovery.Balance compassion vs. containment: Be vulnerable, honest and authentic - genuinely care for your people, but also LEAD - you get paid to LEAD - you have to 'show up'  for your people. Think about how you show up. Celebrate small successes: Find things to celebrate on a day to day basis... energise your people daily, give your people a clear routine and a sense of purpose.Don't make assumptions: We don't know what we don't know .... we don't know what life is going to be like once we get through this. We don't know how we are going to feel. Take a step back and allow things to unfold naturally.This was a seriously insightful discussion. If you are looking for inspiration to move through the next three to six to twelve months with poise, look no further.Craig Preston is a leading executive performance coach and his rich background - as an officer in the British Army, executive in the commercial and consulting sectors, MD of the Inspirational Development Group and his work with world class performers in professional sport means Craig has a unique blend of experience in a high performance environment.🧡🦁 It's time to find your ROAR! 🦁🧡
Apr 6 2021
41 mins
The toxic trio: Why leaders and HR must create safe spaces
🎙️💥 Bullyproof hears from The Honeycomb Works  -- an organisation on a mission to help leaders & HR create safe and inclusive work cultures -- where everyone feel like they belong and are free to invent. Meet Melissa & Caroline 🎙️💥"I don't know anything that is more important. Leaders have a duty of care for the people in their organisations; they are ultimately responsible for the culture."  Melissa Sabella, founder & CEO, The Honeycomb Works🧡🦁 It's time to find your organisation's ROAR! 🦁🧡 I loved this conversation soo much - Melissa and Caroline are amazing - they use behaviour science, data and tech to help organisations develop inclusive and innovative teams. In fact, as the Director of Behavioural Science & Research, Caroline's work bridges the gap between the world of work and academic research, applying current thinking in practical, accessible ways in order to build inclusive, psychologically safe cultures.Did I say how much I ♥️ this conversation? 😉If you are a leader who cares about creating safe and inclusive spaces for people to thrive, do not miss this episode.CONTACT: The Honeycomb Workscoach@thehoneycombworks.com LET'S CONNECT:LinkedIn TwitterInsta BOOK: ROAR! HOW TO TAME THE BULLY INSIDE AND OUTWEBSITE: WWW.MARILISE-DE-VILLIERS.COMEMAIL: MARILISE@MARILISE-DE-VILLIERS.COM#equity​ #equality​ #IWD2021​ #ChooseToChallenge​  #findyourroar​ #bestlife​​ #humancentric​ #leadership​ #resilience​ #toxic​ #workplace​ #culture​ #bullying​ #intellectualbullying​ #workplacebullying​ #ROAR​ #influence​​ #brilliantjerk​ #highperformance​ #coaching​​​ #behaviours​ #speakup​ #psychologicalsafety​ #empathy​​​ #mentalhealth​ #physicalhealth​
Mar 12 2021
36 mins
The root of her son’s gaming addiction
🎙️💥 Bullyproof hears from the esteemed Linda Duberley, a news presenter, media trainer, award winning journalist and proud mom of three. 🎙️💥In this interview Linda tells me about her eldest son Connor’s struggles with online gaming addiction and how he turned his life around. 🧡🦁 It's time to find your ROAR! 🦁🧡 It was by no means a quick turnaround, Linda compares it to a Williams turn, which is when an ocean liner has to turn around in the middle of a big stretch of water. The pivotal turning point came when Connor went to a college called MPW, where a teacher started to help him on a 1:1 basis to write essays properly. That’s when Linda knew that he started to trust adults, figures in authority, again. Ironically, Connor’s problems were also previously fuelled by a particular teacher’s behaviour (amongst other things) towards him.It just goes to show how teachers can literally ‘make or break’ students. LINDA'S TOP ADVICE TO PARENTS:Start young. It starts at birth, you have to form a really strong and healthy attachment with your baby.    Take your own ego out of the situation and you have to concentrate on what's best for your child. If you form the right kind of attachment with them when they are babies, then at will give you the ground work. It will hopefully give you an unbreakable thread so that when you do hit the road bumps, which are inevitable for everyone, that line of communication is strong enough to help you power through various difficulties. LINDA'S TOP PRODUCTIVITY TIP: She spends the first 30 minutes of her day thinking about life, thinking about the challenges ahead and focusing on what she can knock off her list that day, what she can achieve. This gives her a sense of power and dynamism. It’s about making your whole life work, not just your actual work, so it’s you’re your job, advanced hobby, beliefs and your family and friends - the circle that you exist within, the circle that makes you tick.This was a wonderful conversation. Linda, thank you for sharing your story with me. What a ROAR! This conversation helped me so much and is going to help so many people.🧡🦁 It's time to find your ROAR! 🦁🧡
Mar 12 2021
30 mins
Choose to challenge the status quo
Bullyproof hears how Donna Herdsman found her ROAR, and why she's choosing to challenge businesses to make equity and equality a reality."It's like getting a thousand paper cuts. Imagine you get one of those every single day. These cuts never get a chance to truly heal ... the real impact is the stress and the trauma that goes with having a thousand cuts that never really close." DonnaDonna is a dear friend and stunning role-model for women in business. I couldn't think of anyone better to invite as my guest for this International Women's Day special. The theme is Choose To Challenge; PERFECT, as I am all about people and organisations finding their ROAR. We can only start to change the status quo if we speak up about the things that get in the way, like bullying behaviour. It takes great courage to speak up and it comes with making ourselves deeply vulnerable in the process. Easier said than do, I know!  When you connect with your personal power, and when you find the inner strength and courage to speak up - about the things that matter to you, and I mean deeply matter - that's when you find your ROAR. You turn your thoughts, feelings, words and actions into your four superpowers. In this interview, Donna ROARs! She does not shy away from the things that get in the way of individuals and organisations thriving. Donna also talks about the importance of psychological safety. And leaders' duty of care to create safe and inclusive spaces where everyone can thrive, we people feel safe i.e. where they are unafraid to speak-up and challenge the status quo. A great resource referenced by Donna is Adam Grant's latest book, Think Again. Oh, and find out what Donna keeps an imaginary bucket for ;-)Pick-up my book ROAR! How to Tame the Bully Inside and Out on Amazon:https://www.amazon.co.uk/ROAR-How-tam...​Download your free copy of Chapter ONE of ROAR! here: https://www.marilise-de-villiers.com​Get in touch with Donna: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/donna-her...​email: donna.herdsman@yahoo.co.ukResources: COVID-19 and gender equality: Countering the regressive effectshttps://www.mckinsey.com/featured-ins...​#IWD2021 #ChooseToChallenge #Equity #Equality #Bullyproof #FindYourRoar #Inclusion #WorkplaceCulture #Diversity #PsychologicalSafety #HighPerformanceHabits
Mar 1 2021
38 mins
Developing personal resilience in toxic workplaces
Meet Adam Pacifico who went from Barrister, to Met Police Cop, to Executive Educator. Today, Adam is the Chief Learning Officer of PCA. PCA is an award-winning global specialist in highly immersive and experiential learning for leaders across all levels, sectors and geographies. Find out what sparked Adam's passion for human-centred leadership, why it's the only kind of leadership that is going to fly in 2021, and what it takes to become a human-centred leader.   We discuss personal resilience. Research for The Leader's Secret Code (link below), which Adam co-authored with Ian Mills, Mark Ridley and Ben Laker, identifies resilience as one of the seven core beliefs of top performing leaders (the other six are fulfilment, strategy, communication, influence, control and empowerment). Resilience is 'the ability to withstand tremendous pressure and spring back into shape.' Why do some people thrive under pressure while others get immobilised?We touch on toxic work environments and Adam specifically talks about the potentially devastating impact of organisations tolerating a 'brilliant jerk.' I was very interested in what Adam had to say on the 'role of the role-model' and 'above the line' / 'below the line' behaviours.The bottom line?  Don't tolerate brilliant jerks! Resilience is a team sportMany organisations put the onus on individuals to be resilient - it's a key performance measure - but as Adam says: 'Resilience is a team sport.' Leaders have a responsibility to be vigilant, to pick-up on the weak signals (or the very very clear signals) that someone actually needs help. It cannot just be the individual's responsibility. It's about the power of the collective. And if we are dealing with someone, or an issue, that is wholly inappropriate - or is the toxin - it cannot just be down to one person.Enjoy!#humancentric​ #leadership​ #resilience​ #toxic​ #workplace​ #culture​ #bullying​ #workplacebullying​ #ROAR​ #influence​ #authentic​ #purpose​ #passion​ #brilliantjerk​ #highperformance​ #coaching​ #accountability​ #extremeownership​ #culture​ #behaviours​ #speakup​ #psychologicalsafety​ #empathy​ #theleadershipenigma​ #podcast​ #theleaderssecretcode​ #mentalfitness​ #wellness​ #mentalhealth​
Feb 25 2021
36 mins