Beautifully Complex

Penny Williams

Join parenting coach and mom-in-the-trenches, Penny Williams, as she helps parents, caregivers, and educators harness the realization that we are all beautifully complex and marvelously imperfect. Each week she delivers insights and actionable strategies on parenting and educating neurodivergent kids — those with ADHD, autism, anxiety, learning disabilities... Her approach to decoding behavior while honoring neurodiversity, and parenting the individual child you have will provide you with the tools to help you understand and transform behavior, reduce your own stress, increase parenting confidence, and create the joyful family life you crave. Penny has helped thousands of families worldwide to help their kids feel good so they can do good. read less

Our Editor's Take

Parenting coach Penny Williams hosts Beautifully Complex. Her son is autistic and has ADHD. On this podcast, she speaks of her own experiences and talks with experts of similar backgrounds. Penny's intention is to support and encourage parents and caretakers with neurodivergent children.

One guest Penny interviews is Dayna Abraham, who wrote Calm the Chaos. Dayna shares some helpful language and mindset shifts. She suggests using the term challenging behavior" versus something like "bad behavior." This can help parents see situations from their kids' perspectives. A day at school or a trip to the grocery store may be a challenge for neurodivergent kids. The podcast's advice may help listeners understand their children better.

Penny talks to Alice Gendron in another podcast episode. Alice wrote The Mini ADHD Coach. As someone who didn't get a diagnosis until she was 29, Alice offers valuable perspective. She explains how difficult mindset shifts can be for adults. Her parents' expectations were rigid when she was growing up. Now Alice advocates for asking neurodivergent children what kind of support they need.

In another podcast episode, Penny's guest is her son, Luke Williams. The two discuss how different genres of music can help center and support different brains. Luke describes the work of Camellia. This artist makes music that is fast and complex. Luke suggests that a neurotypical person might find it overwhelming. As someone who often has trouble focusing, he finds this kind of music stimulating.

Penny doesn't have a guest on every episode of Beautifully Complex. There are some solo shows where she shares her own insight on a specific topic. In one, Penny explains the importance of recognizing success. She encourages parents to pay attention and mention when they can see their kids' efforts. Penny believes that celebrating successes of every size will leave room for more to grow. Most regular episodes are between 20 and 40 minutes. New ones drop every week.

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262: Emotional Support Animals, with Dan Maigler, LCSW

262: Emotional Support Animals, with Dan Maigler, LCSW

In this episode, I'm chatting with my guest Daniel Maigler, about the transformative roles of emotional support animals. Dan's insights as a social worker and mental health advisor for Paws for Patrick reveal how emotional support animals can aid those facing mental health challenges. Dan shares the poignant story behind Paws for Patrick, emphasizing the support ESAs can offer, especially to young people. Throughout this episode, he differentiates between therapy dogs, service animals, and emotional support animals, clarifying common misconceptions. From legalities to the non-requirement of training for ESAs, we're tackling the myths and discussing the urgency for more emotional support options in schools. For any listener interested in the healing potential of animals and understanding the process for obtaining an ESA, this episode provides clarity and heartfelt testimony.

Episodes

262: Emotional Support Animals, with Dan Maigler, LCSW

262: Emotional Support Animals, with Dan Maigler, LCSW

In this episode, I'm chatting with my guest Daniel Maigler, about the transformative roles of emotional support animals. Dan's insights as a social worker and mental health advisor for Paws for Patrick reveal how emotional support animals can aid those facing mental health challenges. Dan shares the poignant story behind Paws for Patrick, emphasizing the support ESAs can offer, especially to young people. Throughout this episode, he differentiates between therapy dogs, service animals, and emotional support animals, clarifying common misconceptions. From legalities to the non-requirement of training for ESAs, we're tackling the myths and discussing the urgency for more emotional support options in schools. For any listener interested in the healing potential of animals and understanding the process for obtaining an ESA, this episode provides clarity and heartfelt testimony.

261: Extreme Language Around Emotions, with Penny Williams

261: Extreme Language Around Emotions, with Penny Williams

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I tackle why our kids and teens might use extreme language to express their emotions. We're recognizing that expressions like "I hate you" or phrases that include aggression or violence often aren't literal but signal an inability to articulate complex emotions. I talk about the importance of distinguishing between different feelings and emphasize the role parents play in guiding their kids to understand and communicate their emotions more precisely. Through my experiences and the stories I share — like my child's alarming description of a recess incident — I highlight how easy it is to misunderstand our kids' emotional needs. We'll unpack essential skills like social emotional learning, interoception, and how to be the calm anchor for your kids. Listen in for practical strategies to improve your child’s emotional communication.

259: Insights on Bullying: Understanding Aggression, Building Resilience, with Brooks Gibbs, Ph.D.

259: Insights on Bullying: Understanding Aggression, Building Resilience, with Brooks Gibbs, Ph.D.

Brooks Gibbs, Ph.D. is joining me for a conversation on Insights on Bullying: Understanding Aggression, Building Resilience. His expertise in social psychology shines a light on the intricate dance between aggression and resilience — especially in the lives of our neurodivergent kids. In this episode, you'll hear stories close to my heart, including my son's journey through the world of teasing and the delicate balance of parenting a child who sees the world literally. Dr. Gibbs offers thought-provoking perspectives on empathy, teaching us about rational compassion and how it can be a game-changer in our parenting toolkit. We'll also discuss the provocative idea of the therapeutic role of horror and drama films in building mental flexibility, and Dr. Gibbs will introduce questions that can profoundly shift our approach to challenges. Moreover, we'll address the emotional challenges faced by individuals with autism and alexithymia, emphasizing the need for strong advocacy and support. As we dissect the shortcomings of traditional anti-bullying campaigns, Dr. Gibbs proposes a fresh focus on mental health and resilience. And I'll share my evolution from overprotective parenting to encouraging my child's growth in frustration tolerance and independence.

260: Navigating Life Challenges with Purpose and Progress (not perfection), with Shari Leid

260: Navigating Life Challenges with Purpose and Progress (not perfection), with Shari Leid

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I have the pleasure of talking with Shari Leid of An Imperfectly Perfect Life. Together, we’re talking about purposeful living and parenting and celebrating gradual progress over the pursuit of perfection. Shari shares her deep insights on the value of recognizing and fostering the inherent strengths in our children. We confront societal expectations head-on, discussing the critical importance of valuing imperfections and the individuality of each journey. This episode is rich with reflection on the concepts of resilience and authenticity in the context of modern parenting.

258: What to Do When Your Kid Isn’t Listening, with Penny Williams

258: What to Do When Your Kid Isn’t Listening, with Penny Williams

Let's talk about what to do when your kid isn't listening. Remember, they might be processing your words in non-traditional ways, so it's important to find alternative approaches to help them focus, process, and follow through. From recognizing distractions to accommodating slow processing speeds, I offer practical advice to help parents navigate these complex situations, including how to engage them physically, provide written instructions, and be mindful of their individual needs. By understanding these hurdles and meeting your kid where they are, you can foster better communication and cooperation. Join me!

257: The Control Trap, with Penny Williams

257: The Control Trap, with Penny Williams

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I explore the detrimental effects of trying to control kids, emphasizing the importance of a humanistic approach to behavior. After watching the recent documentary series on Netflix called "The Program," I was both horrified by the trauma that the “troubled teen industry” causes and inspired to talk about the much more helpful perspective science offers regarding behavior. I’ve identified 8 key elements that help us feel good so we can do good, and none of them have anything to do with control. Through personal experiences and impassioned insights, I shed light on the need to empower kids, especially those who are neurodivergent, and the damaging impact of not respecting their individuality and autonomy. Join me in understanding the importance of taking a humanistic approach to behavior and nurturing an environment that supports and values the uniqueness of every child.

256: Breaking Down Motivation: Helping Teens and Young Adults Find Their Path to Success, with Melanie McNally, Psy.D.

256: Breaking Down Motivation: Helping Teens and Young Adults Find Their Path to Success, with Melanie McNally, Psy.D.

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I sit down with Dr. Melanie McNally, a clinical psychologist and brain coach who specializes in working with tweens, teens, and young adults. Together, we explore the struggles that many young adults face in finding motivation and direction. Dr. Melanie shares her expertise on helping young adults build their interpersonal skills and increase their motivation. She breaks down the components of motivation into three skill sets: drive, grit, and goals, offering valuable insights for parents navigating the complexities of raising motivated teens. We also delve into the challenges of this generation's unique landscape, touch on the impact of social media, and discuss the changing dynamics of adolescence and parenting. I found Dr. McNally's approach to be insightful and empowering, offering practical strategies for parents and young adults alike. If you're a parent navigating the complexities of raising neurodivergent teens and young adults, Dr. Melanie’s wisdom is sure to provide valuable guidance and support.

255: 7 Steps to Help Kids & Teens with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, with Penny Williams

255: 7 Steps to Help Kids & Teens with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, with Penny Williams

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I tackle the topic of rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and provide 7 essential steps to help kids and teens facing this challenge. I share insights on recognizing signs of RSD in kids and teens, fostering open communication, building self-esteem, challenging negative thought patterns, teaching coping strategies, practicing self-compassion, and seeking professional support when needed. Our role as parents and caregivers is crucial in helping our neurodivergent kids navigate these challenges and thrive. If you want to learn more about supporting your child with RSD, don't miss this episode. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and together, we can help our kids grow into resilient, confident, successful, happy, joyful adults.

254: How to Be a Neuro-Affirming Parent or Teacher, with Emily Kircher-Morris, M.A., M.ED., LPC

254: How to Be a Neuro-Affirming Parent or Teacher, with Emily Kircher-Morris, M.A., M.ED., LPC

In today's episode, Emily Kircher-Morris, M.A., M.ED., LPC is back and we're unpacking what it means to be a neuro-affirmative parent or teacher. We explore the pressures that neurodivergent kids face, especially the expectation to camouflage their true selves. Emily, with her dual expertise in education and counseling, is sharing invaluable insights, including her CARE acronym, which stands for cultivating authenticity, recognizing strengths, empathy, and creating safety. We discuss the intricacies of masking and the importance of authentic self-representation for these amazing kids and adults. We also address the negative impacts of non-affirming environments that can lead to stress and school avoidance. Our chat is laced with discussions on embracing rather than merely accepting diverse communication styles, and how this can transform a child's experience. Emily also sheds light on the 'double empathy problem,' the disconnect that can happen in communication between neurodivergent individuals and the neurotypical majority. Together, Emily and I are rethinking communication norms and advocating for the celebration of individuality, particularly within the neurodiverse community. As we speak, we're delving into self-advocacy for neurodivergent children and the importance of making that a communicative priority. Let’s talk about the significance of recognizing and leveraging the strengths of these amazing humans.

253: Beyond the Power Struggles, with Richard Selznick, Ph.D.

253: Beyond the Power Struggles, with Richard Selznick, Ph.D.

Today, I get to talk to the incredible Dr. Richard Selznick—a renowned psychologist specializing in dyslexia and learning disabilities. We dive into the traps parents often fall into when communicating with their children, especially those with neurodivergent needs. Dr. Selznick emphasizes the importance of giving our kids choices. It's eye-opening to hear about the challenges of motivating children with learning struggles and how we tend to blame ourselves as parents. Dr. Selznick's insight shifts the focus to understanding and supporting our kids in the best possible way.

252: Transforming Behavior: When You Know Better You Do Better, with Penny Williams

252: Transforming Behavior: When You Know Better You Do Better, with Penny Williams

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m sharing a deeply personal story about a challenging experience with my son and the valuable insights it brought us regarding challenging behavior and supporting our neurodivergent kids. Through sharing this experience, I emphasize the need for flexibility and understanding in dealing with challenging behaviors, as well as the role of an individual’s nervous system and behavior. I’m also sharing info about the upcoming Transforming Behavior workshop series, which will provide free workshops for parents and caregivers.

251: Impact of Parental Confidence and Social Pressure on Parenting Complex Kids, with Anouk Briere-Godbout

251: Impact of Parental Confidence and Social Pressure on Parenting Complex Kids, with Anouk Briere-Godbout

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I have a candid conversation with Anouk Briere-Godbout about the challenges of parenting neurodivergent children. Our discussion focuses on the impact of societal pressure on parental confidence and the importance of finding supportive communities for parents facing similar struggles. Anouk shares personal experiences and professional insights, emphasizing self-compassion, resilience, and the need for a mindset shift in addressing the unique needs of neurodivergent children. If you’ve felt judged about your parenting in public, listening to this episode will make you feel so much less alone!

250: Recognizing Children's Unique Love Languages, with Emily Hamblin

250: Recognizing Children's Unique Love Languages, with Emily Hamblin

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m talking with Emily Hamblin about the unique ways neurodivergent kids might show their love for you. Emily shares her personal journey of recognizing and appreciating her children's unique love languages, discussing the impact of neurodivergent traits on their communication of love and care. The conversation delves into the concept of love languages, emphasizing the importance of understanding and embracing the individual ways in which children express and receive love. Throughout the episode, Emily provides insights and practical tips for parents to recognize and incorporate their children's love languages into daily interactions. The discussion also explores the significance of celebrating small victories in parenting and the value of recognizing and acknowledging children's expressions of love and care.

249: Helping Neurodivergent Young Adults, with Dr. Janina Elbert Maschke

249: Helping Neurodivergent Young Adults, with Dr. Janina Elbert Maschke

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I had an insightful conversation with Dr. Janina Elbert Maschke, an expert in ADHD coaching and cognitive psychology. We discuss how to support neurodivergent young adults as they navigate the unique challenges they face, such as feelings of isolation, academic pressures, and emotional struggles. Dr. Maschke shares invaluable advice on recognizing and celebrating the strengths of neurodivergent individuals, as well as empowering parents to shift from instructing to supporting their young adults. We also discuss the importance of finding one's passion, building confidence, and seeking outside support.

248: Successes Change Everything, No Matter How Small, with Penny Williams

248: Successes Change Everything, No Matter How Small, with Penny Williams

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I’m exploring the profound impact of successes on our neurodivergent kids (and all of us humans). I discuss how experiencing successes contributes to building confidence, motivation, and a positive mindset, all through the lens of brain science. I also offer practical ways for parents and educators to create opportunities for success and the importance of celebrating even the smallest victories. Join me as we explore the power of successes in shaping our children's journey and the strategies to support them along the way.

247: Listening Isn’t a Behavior You Can See, with Elizabeth A. Sautter, MA, CCC, SLP

247: Listening Isn’t a Behavior You Can See, with Elizabeth A. Sautter, MA, CCC, SLP

I'm thrilled to bring you another compelling episode of Beautifully Complex. For this episode, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Elizabeth Sautter, MA, CCC-SLP for a truly eye-opening discussion about the often wildly misunderstood concept of listening and showing that you’re listening. Elizabeth, a speech language pathologist and social cognitive specialist, emphasizes the importance of allowing individuals to find what works best for them in terms of regulation, challenging the notion of a one-size-fits-all approach. We dive into the myths surrounding what it looks like when a kid or teen is listening, the significance of regulation as a foundation for education, and the diverse ways in which individuals process information. From the concept of "Listening Larry" to the need for tailored support for neurodivergent children, our conversation offers a newfound appreciation for the complexities of listening and the impact it has on learning.

246: Make this the Year of Connection and Collaboration, with Penny Williams

246: Make this the Year of Connection and Collaboration, with Penny Williams

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, we’re setting achievable intentions for the new year, with a strong focus on nurturing connections and fostering collaboration with our neurodivergent kids and teens. As always, I’m challenging the traditional authoritarian parenting/educating approach and advocate for a collaborative relationship with your kids and students, and I provide practical insights and resources for creating a collaborative environment. I emphasize the importance of spending quality time without distractions to build connections and suggest ways to provide opportunities for children to connect with you and with peers. You can even download my annual goal planning worksheet for 2024 in the show notes.

245: Supporting Siblings of Neurodivergent Kids with Doreen Samelson, EdD, MSCP

245: Supporting Siblings of Neurodivergent Kids with Doreen Samelson, EdD, MSCP

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m joined by Doreen Samelson, EdD, MSCP to discuss the emotional impact on neurotypical siblings of neurodivergent children. Learn about the importance of acknowledging and accepting diverse emotions, creating intentional time for the siblings, and seeking support from networks and family members. This episode offers practical resources and highlights the significance of open dialogue and radical empathy in supporting all family members.

244: Is It Can’t or Won’t?, with Penny Williams

244: Is It Can’t or Won’t?, with Penny Williams

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I’m taking a deep dive into the concept of "can't versus won't" when examining a child's behavior. It’s important to understand that the majority of the time, when a child is struggling, it is a "can't" rather than a "won't," even when it feels like an undoubtable won’t. I cover the complexities involved in assessing the "doability" of tasks for neurodivergent kids and provide an acronym, "DESKS," to help parents and educators analyze the factors that contribute to a task's doability for that child. Each factor plays a significant role in determining whether a child can or cannot complete a task without significant support or accommodations. Learn to approach challenges with empathy and understanding, and the framework required to assess doability to support children in overcoming barriers to achieving success.

243: Strategies to Strengthen Your Family, with Brent Crandal, Ph.D.

243: Strategies to Strengthen Your Family, with Brent Crandal, Ph.D.

In today's episode,I have the pleasure of hosting Dr. Brent Crandal, a clinical psychologist and children's book author. Join me for this thought-provoking conversation with Dr. Crandal about practical ways to build mindfulness and connection within families. From fostering gratitude to promoting a culture of hope, this episode presents valuable insights and actionable strategies to enhance family dynamics. We delve into the importance of mental health hygiene, modeling healthy behaviors, and finding balance in parenting. This episode is filled with wisdom and inspiration. So, grab your favorite beverage, get cozy, and get ready to be uplifted by this enriching conversation.