Mary’s Cup of Tea: the Self-Love Podcast for Women

Mary Jelkovsky

Welcome to Self-Love. We cover topics surrounding self-love including body-image, confidence, self-worth, body positivity, mindset, mental health, feminism, relationships, and so much more. Along the way, your host Mary lets you in on her personal life, never shying away from the messy, raw, and real conversations that we all crave. So grab a cup of tea, slide in your headphones, and get ready for some self-lovin! read less

Our Editor's Take

The host of Mary's Cup of Tea: the Self-Love Podcast for Women remembers the first stages of her eating disorder. Mary Jelkovsky was only 11 years old then. Her step-grandmother poked at her stomach and said she needed to lose weight. At the same time, the grandparent also made tasty baked goods and watched the child's every bite. That taught Mary from a young age that thinness equals value, leading to her bulimia.

The illness completely overtook the podcast host's life in high school. She went from ballet classes to bodybuilding and bikini fitness competitions. All the while, she spent hours in the gym and extreme dieting. After years of suffering, Mary reached a breaking point and saw a doctor. In an open conversation about her binge-eating, she finally understood a painful fact. She worried too much about what other people think, and that was a big part of her illness.

From that moment, Mary went on a self-healing journey. She started reading books, listening to podcasts, and working with life coaches. Anything she could do to empower her body and mind. Mary shared her journey on her website and Instagram, leading to a wide following. Soon came a TedX talk, wellness retreats, and even a book, The Gift of Self-Love. The podcast is another step in Mary's mission to invite others into a healing process. However, the topics here may be triggering for some.

Some episodes of Mary's Cup of Tea: the Self-Love Podcast for Women are solo installments. In those, the host reveals more about her insecurities, vulnerabilities, and how she overcomes them. It's an intimate conversation with the listeners, where she hopes to make them feel less alone. In other episodes, Mary speaks to health care professionals and other influencers. She interviews anyone from nutritionists to psychologists and life coaches. They talk about topics ranging from sexual trauma to the perils of self-comparison. New episodes of the podcast come out on Thursdays.

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Health & FitnessHealth & Fitness

Episodes

#198: Secrets to an Organized Home with Nikki Boyd
1w ago
#198: Secrets to an Organized Home with Nikki Boyd
Would you consider yourself an organized person? What about those with whom you live with? In the hustle and bustle of life, households frequently face daily stress, financial hiccups, and time crunches which are often aggravated by a lack of organization in the home. Professional organizer Nikki Boyd joins us to talk about communication as the ultimate organizing tool for households and well as hacks for keeping your home beautifully organized. You will learn... - ways to communicate with those you live with to ensure a more harmonious household flow - 2 places in one’s home that tend to cause stress - hacks for organizing your house and making it feel like a sanctuary Remember: your home should feel like a vacation from the outside world. Why wouldn’t you make it into a place that feels rejuvenating? Nikki Boyd is a professional organizer and founder of athomewithnikki.com where she helps bring beautiful order in homes around the world with her business, blog and YouTube channel. What began as a hobby is now a successful home organizing business, a popular blog, and YouTube channel, with thousands of readers coming to her site for creative and straightforward ways to beautifully organize their homes. She lives in Charleston, South Carolina with her husband and two puppies. Follow Nikki Boyd on Instagram: @athomewithnikki Watch Nikki’s helpful YouTube videos: https://www.youtube.com/@AtHomeWithNikki/ Check out Nikki’s organizing services: https://athomewithnikki.com Get Nikki's book, Beautifully Organized here: https://amzn.to/3PmyWKS And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @athomewithnikki Mentioned In This Episode... Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst by Robert Sapolsky: https://amzn.to/49VkEcl
#196: Giving Up Fitness and Influencing (a Reverse Interview by Christy Harrison)
Feb 29 2024
#196: Giving Up Fitness and Influencing (a Reverse Interview by Christy Harrison)
Last year, Mary did an interview with Christy Harrison on her podcast, Rethinking Wellness. We are resurfacing that episode here, so you can listen to this “reverse interview” where Mary and Christy talk about how wellness culture coupled with social media algorithms creates a toxic environment for both consumers and creators. Tune into this deeply personal conversation about... - Mary’s history as a bikini fitness competitor starting at age 16, and how it both triggered and exacerbated an ED - how social media algorithms drive us into more extreme diet and wellness content - why Mary thinking of quitting influencing despite finding much success on social media (and why Christy Harrison has already left Instagram) Though this episode was recorded 10 months prior, everything Mary said still holds true. Social media seems to be doing more harm than good and with every passing day, Mary is more and more tempted to call it quits. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @chr1styharrison Mentioned In This Episode... - Ep. 162: When Wellness Becomes BS with Christy Harrison on Mary’s Cup of Tea Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1fhy0aQwPZlgUQ4xANrxwq?si=b1b1cf5962894c9a - Sign up for Christy Harrison’s newsletter: rethinkingwellness.substack.com - Get Christy Harrison’s new book, The Wellness Trap: https://amzn.to/3ST99uD - The Social Dilemma movie: https://www.netflix.com/title/81254224 - Rabbit Hole Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rabbit-hole/id1507423923 - “Is There Life After Influencing?” NYT article: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/11/style/lee-tilghman-influencer.html
#194: How to Love Someone Without Losing Yourself with Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Feb 15 2024
#194: How to Love Someone Without Losing Yourself with Dr. Alexandra Solomon
There’s often a disparity between how men and women make sacrifices for their relationship. In a long-term partnership, it’s normal and necessary to compromise, but how do we ensure that said compromises don’t make us lose important parts of ourselves in the process? Dr. Alexandra Solomon joins us to talk about how to identify, communicate, and retain independent parts of ourselves as we embark on a life journey with someone we love. We talk about… - how to keep the “me” within the “we” - is dating objectively harder now than it was in the past? why or why not? - should we go through our partner’s phones as a way to ensure honesty? Remember: when two individuals form a unit, there are parts of their individuality that may be pushed aside. It’s not always a bad thing as long as we acknowledge each other’s individualities within. Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon, phD, is internationally-recognized as one of today’s most trusted voices in the world of relationships, and her framework of Relational Self-Awarness has resonated with millions. A couples therapist, speaker, author, and professor, Dr. Solomon is passionate about translating cutting-edge research and clinical wisdom into practical tool people can use to bring awareness, curiosity, and authenticity to their relationships. She is on faculty in the School of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University and is a licensed clinical pscychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern. Her hit podcast, Reimagining Love, features high-profile guests from the worlds of therapy, academia, and pop culture. She is the award-winning author of now 3 books: Taking Sexy Back, Loving Bravely, and Love Every Day. Follow Dr. Alexandra on Instagram: @dr.alexandra.solomon Get Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day here: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/book/ And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @dr.alexandra.solomon Mentioned In This Episode... Lizzo’s NPR Tiny Desk Concert: https://youtu.be/DFiLdByWIDY?si=KAXcDxpW1aVmA9v2
Ep. 192: Debunking Menstruation Misinformation with Dr. Jen Gunter
Feb 2 2024
Ep. 192: Debunking Menstruation Misinformation with Dr. Jen Gunter
Dr. Jen Gunter is an OBGYN with 30+ years of experience as a vulvar and vaginal diseases expert. She joins us today to debunk menstruation myths! Mary asks Dr. Jen questions like... - is menstruating the body’s way of detoxing? - what causes menstrual cramps and period poops? - why/ how is “alternative medicine” harmful? - do chiropractors really work? - what’s the purpose and process of menstruating? Remember: don’t believe baseless claims you see on the internet! Dr. Jen Gunter is an internationally bestselling author, obstetrician, and gynecologist with more than three decades of experience as a vulvar and vaginal diseases expert. Considered “the world's most famous—and outspoken—gynecologist,” (The Guardian), her New York Times and USA Today bestselling books, The Vagina Bible and The Menopause Manifesto, have been translated into 25 languages. And her new book Blood is all about the science, medicine, and mythology of menstruation which you’ll get a taste of in this podcast episode. Dr. Jen is the host of Jensplaining, a CBC/Amazon Prime video series that highlights the impact of medical misinformation on women, and the recipient of the 2020 NAMS Media Award from The North American Menopause Society. Her 2020 TED Talk, “Why Can’t We Talk About Periods?” received more than two million views in its first six months, leading to the launch of her popular podcast on the TED Audio Collective, “Body Stuff with Dr. Jen Gunter.” Originally from Winnipeg, Canada, she lives with her sons in San Francisco, CA. Follow Dr. Jen on Instagram: @drjengunter Get Dr. Jen's new book Blood here: https://amzn.to/3RPBDVS And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @drjengunter Mentioned In This Episode... Dr. Jen’s TED talk “Why Can’t We Talk About Periods?”: https://www.ted.com/talks/jen_gunter_why_can_t_we_talk_about_periods?language=en
Ep. 191: Learning the Difference AKA Discernment (Encore)
Jan 25 2024
Ep. 191: Learning the Difference AKA Discernment (Encore)
I’m out of town for 2 weeks hosting another self-love retreat; this time in southern Portugal with 20 women coming from all over. So in attempts to preserve my energy while still keeping the pod going, I thought it’d be fun to revisit an older episode called “Learning the Difference.” This episode is about DISCERNMENT: the ability to perceive, judge, and understand things in an empathetic, rational, conscientious way. I believe that many things in life lie on a spectrum with nothing being inherently good or inherently bad in all contexts. That’s why it’s important that we have discernment not to judge others, but rather to know the difference for OURSELVES. Discernment is the act of choosing what’s serving you and releasing what’s not, and doing so with self-compassion. Tune in to learn how to discern! You will learn… - how to find balance with food, exercise, work, and other things in your life - an important question to ask yourself to determine if something is serving you or not - advice to help you feel more at peace and content Remember: life is about learning YOUR difference. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love: - The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. - 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.
#189: 5 Thought Patterns Keeping You Stuck
Jan 4 2024
#189: 5 Thought Patterns Keeping You Stuck
Jumping on the fresh New Year energy, we’re discussing 5 thought patterns that are keeping you stuck + new mindsets to embrace instead. You will learn how to... - stop overthinking - cease comparing yourself to others - quickly get out of negative self-talk Remember: there is a survival-based need behind everything we do, no matter how self-destructive. Luckily, there are more empowering ways to motivate yourself with self-compassion and self-love at the core. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love: - The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. - 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 165: People-Pleasing Thought Patterns & How to Break Them with Maria-Victoria Albina- https://open.spotify.com/episode/5zXXHgPJgzC9HVtVMJuZmS?si=DueamaQJRZugQw6Ru_EZxw Ep. 32: Tools for Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff- https://open.spotify.com/episode/6rHAFkK3zikk9FFZURAZMm Ep. 183: The Best Book on Communication- https://open.spotify.com/episode/3l23N2zAkMk4EVzJlSnooy?si=1_R_GfxtSbuSm5OnLrKLaw Mary’s 2024 Vision Board- https://www.instagram.com/p/C1ngjVMP7Ll/?hl=en
#188: 12 Lessons Learned in 2023 (on Marriage, Family, and Friendships)
Dec 28 2023
#188: 12 Lessons Learned in 2023 (on Marriage, Family, and Friendships)
A personal solo episode where Mary reflects on the highs, lows, and lessons learned of 2023. We invite you to think of your own lessons learned from each month of the year as you’re listening. We hope you had a happy holiday season and a refreshing start to your New Year. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary’s self-love workbook + journal: - The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. - 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 145: My Super Simple New Years Intention Setting Process- https://open.spotify.com/episode/4udZhbOPwKrEJTdBrtX8ZD?si=bbbcbaceed9a43a9 Ep. 187: Clean Up Your Digital Space(s): https://open.spotify.com/episode/6LF9T54tKn7csoyyUXylm1?si=n9WHUqW2QHKqI3Nni4Vxaw Ep. 184: How to Find Yourself When You Feel Lost with Dr. Sara Kuburic: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7xyHsObn16axmtxE9ypbaC?si=242Xv_s7QCCkafPErwLm-g Ep. 170: Intentional Wedding Planning & Artful Gathering with Priya Parker: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0RRZmG1HVPVxKDwf87yu5s?si=9mIIq04wQjGwjRtT69oZRg Ep. 157: Wedding Reflections with My HUSBAND: https://youtu.be/2u1_XzYUKO0?si=EN8Ay277vboEoOwS Ep. 176: Our Safari Honeymoon Recap: https://youtu.be/iHPyOARLWh0?si=EoJ7iuoaZqylrmwF Ep. 183: The Best Communication Book: https://youtu.be/DlVt-VsCcgU?si=H3o6vDeXet94W9TD
#185: Feeling Behind in Life? Listen to This.
Dec 7 2023
#185: Feeling Behind in Life? Listen to This.
The reason you feel behind in life is because you’re comparing yourself to others who seem to be ahead of you. When you compare yourself to people who graduated, got jobs, got married, reproduced, bought cars and houses and vacations, not only are you doing a disservice to yourself, but you’re also contributing to the narrative that “success” is measured by external achievements rather than inner fulfillment. Here’s how to stop comparing yourself to others and start accepting that you are exactly where you need to be. Let this episode be a refreshing, encouraging reminder that feeling lost, directionless, or behind in life just means that you are taking the necessary time to pave your own way. Mentioned In This Episode... Get Your Self-Love TEA: https://maryscupoftea.com/tea Ep. #163: Feeling Lost? Listen to this: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6yFlPHOd6psTmAu1iJh97L?si=eUtcRPv3S-CwNULANGmiEw Ep. #180 on Detaching Self-Worth from Productivity: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4tXIGoj9RLZMjob3xbjqsN?si=LwWaB-3STWCe7tl18fPoUQ If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love: - The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. - 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Cheers to self-love!
#182: Sober-Curious? This one’s for you. Therapist Amanda E. White on ALCOHOL
Nov 16 2023
#182: Sober-Curious? This one’s for you. Therapist Amanda E. White on ALCOHOL
Most of us know that alcohol is poison, it makes us feel shitty, and rarely leads to much good. Despite knowing this, it’s easy to get pressured into drinking even if you don’t want to. This episode is for all my sober-curious friends, who want a fun-filled life without being dependent on alcohol (or any substance for that matter). You will learn about... - the benefits of quitting, or at least reducing, your consumption of alcohol - how to set boundaries around alcohol around friends, family, and your partner - the link between adderall and alcohol - why alcohol makes us more turned on + ideas for sober dating - how to regulate your emotions before turning to your substance of choice (whether that’s drinking, smoking, or scrolling) Regardless if quitting drinking is right for you or not, you can be less dependent on substances and thus, more emotionally aware, connected, and present in your life. Amanda E. White is a licensed therapist and the creator of the popular instagram account @therapyforwomen. She is the host of the podcast, “Recovered-ish.” She is the author of the book “Not Drinking Tonight” and its corresponding workbook.  She is the founder  of the group therapy practice, Therapy for Women Center, based in Philadelphia serving clients across the country. She has been featured in notable publications such as Forbes, Washington Post, Shape, Women’s Health Magazine, and more.  To learn more visit amandaewhite.com Follow Amanda on Instagram: @therapyforwomen Get Amanda's Not Drinking Tonight book here: https://amzn.to/400T5KM And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @therapyforwomen Mentioned In This Episode... Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History Podcast: https://www.dancarlin.com/hardcore-history-series/
#181: Stress Eating? Listen to this.
Nov 9 2023
#181: Stress Eating? Listen to this.
The holiday season tends to be full of stress: family drama, financial strain, end-of-year work obligations, etc. If you find yourself turning to food to cope with stress, this episode is for you. You will learn... - why stress eating isn’t always bad and when it becomes a problem - what to tell yourself if you feel like you overate - how to mitigate stress eating and feel less guilty about it Remember: Food can be complicated, but it can also be a solid source of comfort, pleasure, and joy. Stress eating is nothing to be ashamed of. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love: - The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. - 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Episodes That’ll Help Your Relationship with Food... Ep. 14: How to Stop Dieting, Restricting, & Binge Eating for Good: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3tylfVI2XscEZb5g5cHnKE?si=9a84338d304a4203 Ep. 17: The Science of Food Freedom w/ Jessi Jean: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3mR0cbZYCNg5amrw4H6zlJ?si=57a51d956c484812 Ep. 29: My Entire ED Story: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6QpXQN0TT8wjEIaL0F1rHK?si=5cf3d47ab2214475 Ep. 150: Hidden Meanings in Disordered Eating with Dr. Anita Johnston: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4ANZQbzkEMXrGtZiLT07cL?si=6b9ebb060b1c4800 Ep. 161: What Helped Me Finally Stop Binge Eating: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3bup5DXcRX6ELsFI3OBdlD?si=170248b972ff44ea
#180: Detaching Self-Worth from Productivity
Nov 2 2023
#180: Detaching Self-Worth from Productivity
Mary is trying to undo decades of attaching her self-worth to her productivity. Which is HARD to say the least. This episode explores our limiting beliefs about productivity, while helping you detach your worth from your output. You will learn... - why productivity is a trap - how to embrace doing nothing and let yourself rest - 2 book recommendations that’ll help you form a better relationship with time - practical tips for decoupling your sense of self-worth from how productive you feel Remember: Who you are is not what you do. Your work is not your worth. Nothing you do will make you more valuable than you already are. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love: - The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. - 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... 4,000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman: https://amzn.to/495x815 How To Do Nothing by Jenny Odell: https://amzn.to/498y0lp Ep. 177 on Mary’s Cup of Tea: The Power of Slowing Down: https://spotify.link/LJFrTQgccEb Ep. 125 on Mary’s Cup of Tea: Productivity for Self-Lovers: https://spotify.link/NNhFH7dccEb Ep. 79 on Mary’s Cup of Tea: Dealing with Overwhelm via Self-Talk: https://spotify.link/q13zpNiccEb