Closeness

Tari Mannello

How did you first learn to be intimate or sexual with someone else? For most of us, it was a guessing game— a little guidance, lots of trial and error, and the same moves repeated year after year. For others it was what we saw and copied online. But when it comes to real sex, and passionate intimacy— something that we all crave more of, we all crave more of, what we really want, is Closeness. We yearn for the skills to satisfy and be satisfied. The Closeness Podcast is hosted by San Diego’s #1-rated sex and intimacy coach, Tari. He takes you on a provocative and sensual journey through the most forbidden, fascinating, and essential subjects about sex and relationships. From igniting chemistry with your partner and uncovering her hidden pleasure to understanding attraction and arousal, this podcast gives you step-by-step guidance on how to touch, communicate, and connect in actionable ways that truly work. With a unique blend of wisdom, humor, and clear, practical advice, Tari breaks down complex and often uncomfortable subjects into simple insights you can apply right now. Whether you’re navigating emotional pain, longing for deeper intimacy, or looking to turn up the heat with your partner, the Closeness Podcast is your modern guide to sexual education, passion, and connection. Ready to take your intimacy to the next level? Tune-in, listen closely, and discover what’s possible. For more or to schedule real-world coaching sessions (in person or virtual), visit closeness.com read less
Health & FitnessHealth & Fitness

Episodes

What happens long-term when you deprive a woman of sex, intimacy and closeness?
Nov 14 2024
What happens long-term when you deprive a woman of sex, intimacy and closeness?
For a sexual woman, or a woman who enjoys regular sex, nothing feels more devastating than being deprived of intimacy, closeness, and the feeling of being desired. In long-term relationships, this scenario is more common than many realize and can lead to her disconnecting, shutting down and even feeling deeply resentmentful. In this episode, we explore what you can do if you've been neglecting your partner ins this department. The Pain of Feeling Undesired When a woman feels rejected sexually, it’s not just about the lack of physical intimacy—it’s about the emotional toll it takes on her feeling unwanted. She may begin to question her worth, her attractiveness, and even the relationship itself. A hug and a peck hello won't be enough to salvage it.  Meaningful actions and effort are needed to make her feel truly wanted but more so in the sensual and sexual sense. The Initiation Paradox Many men struggle to initiate intimacy, while many women hesitate to take the lead for fear of being judged or feeling rejected themselves. This “initiation paradox” creates a frustrating stalemate that slowly erodes sexual connection. A woman’s sexual expression often mirrors what her partner inspires in her; if she feels ignored or undesired, her sensuality can wither. To move things forward, it’s essential to break this cycle by understanding her emotional needs and taking intentional steps to get that chemistry back. Questions to Ask Yourself If intimacy has stalled in your relationship, it’s time for some tough self-reflection. Effort is sometimes too strong of word, but are you putting in the effort or energy to make her feel desired? Are you addressing your own low libido or other barriers to connection? If you’re in a sexless or low-sex relationship, ask yourself whether this is a dealbreaker—or if you’re willing to put in the work to change the dynamic. Recognize that women still crave intimacy and fantasize about passion, even if the spark has dimmed in their own relationship. This emotionally charged episode goes deep into the challenges of intimacy deprivation and offers actionable advice for reigniting connection and restoring balance. Ready to Come Closer? Listen now for insights on how to overcome mismatched libidos, rebuild desire, and create a more fulfilling relationship. Visit Closeness.com for more resources on intimacy and connection.  Are you ready to come closer?  CHAPTERS 0:00 Introduction 5:12 Disperate sex drives and libidos 8:35 Why can't women just initiate themselves? 9:35 Female Nature 12:27 No man wants a starfish. No woman wants someone who doesn't desire her 13:14 The initiation paradox 14:55 Words vs Actions 16:26 Men find it hard to initiate when 19:06 For things to work, women need to offer these secret ingredients 23:42 Mens false promises? 24:40 This is how it looks when a woman feels undesired 25:52 A hug and kiss is not the bare minimum 26:50 Damage control due to lack of promises 30:32 For men with low sex drives / libidos 38:00 If you can't imagine the previous recommendations, ask yourself these hard questions 44:30 Is lack of sex a deal breaker for you or your partner? 47:45 Understanding mens issue with too much consent 51:41 Understanding why your wife doesn't initiate now even though she used to 53:00 A woman is only as sexual as you will allow or inspire her to be 54:10 Even in a sexless marriage, women still fantasize and want sex and intimacy 57:20 How to get help with this right now 58:44 Outro
How to inspire a woman to FEEL sexy and sexual towards you
Sep 23 2024
How to inspire a woman to FEEL sexy and sexual towards you
How to Inspire a Woman to Feel Sexy and Sexual TOWARDS you. This episode of Closeness is a game-changer for anyone looking to create deeper sexual chemistry with their female partner. You may think your parter is sexy when you look at her or think she is sexy enough all on her own, but, can you make her feel sexy and sexual when she’s with you? This is a totally different story. There’s a world of difference between a woman feeling good about herself in general as a woman, and her feeling those hot and spicy feelings towards you. If you want to elevate your relationship both in and out of the bedroom, this episode is for you. Men often think it’s a woman’s job to be sexual and sexy: expecting their partner to bring all the heat while changing nothing about themselves. But the truth is, inspiring sexual energy starts with you, as a man. Physical touch isn’t the only way to spark attraction—it’s about eye contact, your masculine energy and presence, confidence, and being intentional in how you show desire. When a woman feels you’re fully present and genuinely interested in her, she’s more likely to feel that electric chemistry. Stop Waiting for Her to Do All the Work Many men expect women to initiate intimacy or keep the spark alive, often lamenting how she “used to be” but isn’t anymore. This mindset misses the mark. The beginning phases of the relationship have, for many, been gone for quite some time. We evolve and grow over time. Women can and should do their part to maintain healthy sex and intimacy in the relationship, but you must lead the charge. When women feel guided and safe in your presence, they’re more likely to relax into their sexuality and let go. Practical Tips to Build Connection  Your sexual gaze—how you look at her—can ignite feelings of attraction almost instantly. And if you want her to feel sexy with you, speak up! Let her know what turns you on, and maybe get comfortable with adding some toys to your repertoire.  A woman’s desire isn’t sparked by accident—it’s cultivated through your words, actions, and energy. Ready to Come Closer? Learn how to inspire your partner to feel sexy and sexual with you. For more insights on intimacy, passion, and connection, tune into The Closeness Podcast or visit Closeness.com. Chapters: 0:00 Intro 4:45 It's not only about physical touch 8:20 Men think it's their partners job to be sexy 8:44 Men want all the sexiness from her while changing nothing about themselves 13:55 Only women can get away with existing 15:05 Women have their own work to do 17:45 Men think women should initiate out of nowhere 20:45 She used to be this way but no longe is 22:00 Wearing lingerie 25:10 Intro to being the director 32:15 Being specific 35:35 Speak up! 41:15 Women get a little woozy when they're submissive 43:15 No half assed leading allowed 46:05 Often women don't even know what is sexy or what is sexy to you 48:30 Toys! 55:29 Eye contact
13 Easy to fix roadblocks that are keeping you from having sex right now… and what to do about them
Apr 6 2024
13 Easy to fix roadblocks that are keeping you from having sex right now… and what to do about them
In this episode, we tackle 13 common barriers that can stand in the way of a thriving sexual connection with your partner. Whether it’s logistical issues, bad timing, or emotional disconnection, these roadblocks can quietly chip away at intimacy. The good news? Every one of these obstacles can be addressed easily, paving the way for better connection, desire, and satisfaction. It’s Not Just About Desire—It’s About the Setup Sometimes, logistics are the real problem. Are there too many pillows on the bed creating a barrier to even touch? Is your couch too small or your bed too uncomfortable for sex to happen? Even practical issues like pets sleeping on the bed or family members out staying their welcome can disrupt your ability to connect. It's easy to create a space that feels inviting, private, and comfortable. A lock on the door, rearranged furniture, or a cozy setup can work wonders. From Platonic to Passionate Another common roadblock is behaving too much like a platonic friend. If you’re not making sensual or sexual gestures beyond a quick peck or a hand on her shoulder—it’s hard to shift the energy toward intimacy. Sensual or sexual gestures need to happen on the regular. Women crave and need progressions that build tension and desire, so don’t just stop at a hug. Small, intentional actions, like lingering eye contact, touch, or even flirting, help reignite the spark and move you closer to a meaningful connection. In this episode you'll learn much more about how to act in a way that really gets her attention.  Timing and Effort: Make It Count Sex in long-term relationships requires effort—it won’t always feel spontaneous or like it happens on its own. Interestingly, women will constantly criticize a man’s “bad timing” without initiating intimacy themselves or letting him know what good timing actually is. Don't worry, we'll talk about that too. Good timing is actually a skill you can develop together. Steady progress with visible changes Intimacy is a journey, not a switch you flip that stays on forever. Don’t rush in expecting your partner to feel ready after minimal or no effort. Small progressions—playful teasing, seductive gestures, lingering touch, or shared laughter—lay the groundwork for deeper sexual connection. By addressing these roadblocks and taking thoughtful, intentional steps, you can transform your relationship and bring passion back into the bedroom. Ready to Come Closer? Learn how to identify and overcome the barriers standing between you and a more fulfilling sex life. Tune in now, and visit Closeness.com for more insights on intimacy, connection, and desire.  Are you ready to come closer?  CHAPTERS: 0:00 Introduction 3:42 1:Logistics 8:03 The three categories of affection 11:33 Logistical problem 1a: Your furnishings 13:37 Logistical problem 1b: Lovers can't find the time 14:12 2. Family, extended family and kids 15:58 3. No locks on your doors 18:30 4. The zoo that lives with you 19:57 5. Energy 22:35 Not wanting to. Needing it to feel natural 29:25 7. You're not there emotionally 32:01 8. She shuts down emotionally, feels defeated and broken 36:04 9. Your timing is off! 43:40 Often women don't even know what bad timing is 46:05 10. Pressure 50:36 11. Not putting yourself in your partners shoes (empathy and understanding) 54:15 12. Too many broken promises 56:50 13. Not making small progressions towards sex
What to do with an extra horny wife or girlfriend… when your libidos are mismatched
Dec 12 2023
What to do with an extra horny wife or girlfriend… when your libidos are mismatched
Ah the case of the extra horny wife! What to do when your wife or girlfriend has a high sex drive and you’re struggling to keep up? This episode looks at one of the biggest challenges in relationships today. Whether you’re dealing with mismatched drives, low libido, or confusion about how to take the lead, this episode gives you actionable tips to handle the situation with confidence and connection. Understanding the Problem When a woman has a higher sex drive than you, frustration and discouragement can creep into the relationship. Sometimes, men have a low libido, feel shy, or simply don’t know how to initiate intimacy effectively. Lack of experience can also cause this situation to worsen even more so.  Sometimes a man thinks he’s giving it his all in the bedroom,  but it will often read as a paltry attempt by his female partner and often still falls short of what his partner craves. Understanding this gap is key to bridging it—and it starts with being present, proactive, and a willingness to learn and take action as a man. Take the Lead—Action Over Consolation If your partner looks discouraged or unfulfilled, don’t wait for her to spell it out. And especially if she's frustrated sometimes, consoling her isn’t the solution... but seducing her may be. As a man, it’s essential to take action in suggestive and often sexual ways that she can read to show her that you desire her. Women often want their partner to lead with confidence and passion, and waiting for her to guide the experience, take the lead or show interest, can cause disconnection. Your willingness to take the initiative not only meets her needs but also deepens your connection. The Role of Authentic Attraction Here’s the hard truth: if you’re not physically attracted to your partner or genuinely desire her, the imbalance in your sex drives will only worsen. Authentic desire and attraction is critical for intimacy when it flows from a man to a woman. Otherwise you both are going to feel like you're doing her a favor.   While you can’t change your own libido drastically, you can work on fostering finding ways that you find her attractive.   If you're a man used to doing grand gestures and showing her how much she means to you with fancy trips and gifts, this strategy may need to be revised. Remember, your sexuality and you desire for her in this dynamic is what she finds exciting. Yes, your needs and your sexuality matters too, but if you’re not engaged, the relationship may struggle to thrive. This episode also sheds light on an often-overlooked dynamic: that women can and do pressure men for sex. For men navigating this challenge, knowing that it really is ok to say no is huge. But if you tell someone no all the time, there is something much deeper going on. Ready to Come Closer? Learn how to confidently navigate mismatched libidos, seduce with intention, and bring passion back into your relationship. For more tips and insights, visit Closeness.com.  Are you ready to come closer?  CHAPTERS 0:00 Intro and the types of relationships that are like this 2:34 Women who want it but their husbands drive is not there 3:42 You're trying, you're having good sex but it's still not enough for her 5:06 Thoughts on what to do if you have a very sexual wife or girlfriend 11:26 Distinguishing between a woman who doesn't want you vs someone who is turned off from you 15:02 If you're super aggressive or a non-affectionate man this doesn't apply 15:52 it's imperative as a man to take action if she has a high sex drive 17:45 What to do if she looks discouraged 21:30 She doesn't know what to do but you DO 25:24 When men get discouraged or don't understand what to do 27:35 Your sexuality matters too - but if you don't desire her you're in trouble 29:35 In search of answers... 30:22 If you don't authentically desire her, you'll probably blow it 35:40 You really can't change someone's desire, libido or sex drive too greatly 37:34 It turns out your sex drive does matter too 41:40 Women actually pressure men to have sex too... 46:02 Final thoughts, summary and wrap up   Image by Racool_studio on Freepik
20 Things to consider when dating a woman who has children
Nov 19 2023
20 Things to consider when dating a woman who has children
In so many ways, dating a single mother is an entirely different experience compared to dating someone without children. In this episode, we explore the unique dynamics, challenges, and many rewards of stepping into a relationship with a single mother. From navigating your needs, to her unique priorities and needs to understanding her relationship dynamic with her ex, this episode breaks down the 20 essential things you need to know to make the relationship work—or decide if it’s the right fit for you. When dating a single mother, her children will always come first, and rightfully so. From middle-of-the-night emergencies to the emotional minute by minute demands of raising kids, you have to be prepared for her attention to shift instantly away from you and the relationship when something goes wrong. If you’re someone who struggles with ranking lower on the totem pole or who feels competition around children, this dynamic might not be for you. You’re stepping into a pre-existing family system, not just a relationship. Be Ready for Complexities Single moms often carry the emotional weight of past relationships, whether it’s lingering emotional pain with an ex, very real divorce baggage, or balancing co-parenting arrangements. The question of whether her children like you or not can also have a huge impact on the relationship. And while single moms are often incredible caretakers, that care may be directed more toward their children than you. This dynamic requires understanding, patience, and creativity, especially when it comes to topics like discipline, finances, and meeting the extended family. It’s important to recognize that stepping into a relationship with a single mom doesn’t mean stepping into a parenting role unless this is explicitly agreed upon. You don’t have to raise her kids, but being a support system to them and a friend to them can be phenomenally rewarding to everyone involved! And while single moms may have high standards for their partner, you’re allowed to have your own (high) standards too. A relationship works when both partners feel supported, respected, and seen. The Rewards of Connection While dating a single mother has its challenges, it can also be deeply rewarding. Building a connection with her kids, even if they’re not yours, can bring immense joy and purpose to your life and this is something that most people cannot know until they've experienced it themselves. Gaining emotional maturity, patience, and empathy for navigating this unique relationship dynamic will come with time. If you’re ready to embrace the complexities of loving a single mother, this guide will help you do it with care and intention. Tune in to learn how to navigate dating and intimacy with a single mom while building a meaningful connection. For more tips on relationships and intimacy, visit Closeness.com. Are you ready to come closer? Chapters:  0:00 Intro  2:25 Disclosures  3:45 Connecting with your children is not something that ever ends  5:45  1. Anytime something goes wrong, it’s going to require mom’s instant attention  7:06 A taste of my story  9:50 2. Many women think their ex is crazy or a narcissist  12:00 The usual disclaimers  14:00 A contribution from a single mother  15:57 3. The length of your commitment matters  17:56 4. Her children must come first  22:15 5. You can’t just come over  23:29 5a. Sometimes you may rank last in terms of priority  24:24 5b. The ex she’s still in touch with  25:30 Giving a balanced perspective  27:04 6. You are stepping into a pre-existing family  30:30 7. If the children don’t like you  32:26 8. Divorce statistics and how they effect children  33:39 9. You’ve got to be creative with discipline  35:50 10. Navigating who should pay… for everyone  41:06 11. The possibility of meeting the ex or proverbial crazy ex  42:35 12. Extended family is often involved  45:14 13. Women are incredible care takers- but often not for you  49:08 14. The biggest risk: Spending time with the kids by yourself  50:50 15. You’re not man enough for not raising her kids?  52:42 16. Women have LOTS of “standards.” You’re allowed to have standards too 55:04 17. Physically speaking…  59:04 18. What about what you need as a man?  1:01:08 19. Women’s needs are often met by having and raising children  1:03:35 20. Kids are truly a sensory experience for women  1:07:20 Warm sentiments on the joys of connecting with children  1:10:55 Outro
The incredible experience of knowing when a woman is in love with you… and how to reciprocate back! 15 ways
Nov 11 2023
The incredible experience of knowing when a woman is in love with you… and how to reciprocate back! 15 ways
In this heartfelt episode of The Closeness Podcast, Tari explores the subtle yet profound ways a woman expresses love towards you and how to nurture that connection. Love isn’t just a feeling, you can also see it written all over her face, as well as in her actions and gestures towards you that reveal her affection and devotion. From admiring glances to shared laughter and vulnerably sharing herself with you, this episode offers 15 clear signs to help you recognize when a woman is truly in love with you and, more importantly, how to reciprocate that love in meaningful ways. Love can be seen in the smallest details: the way she looks at you, her willingness to support you in tough times, or her playful texts and videos that show you she’s thinking of you. Whether it’s through physical intimacy, kind gestures like little notes or gifts, or her desire to spend time with you or be near in proximity to  you, feminine love manifests in actions that reflect her care and attention. Tari emphasizes that recognizing these signs requires presence and attentiveness, as love often speaks in whispers rather than grand gestures. Love Is a Gift and a Responsibility Feminine love also needs to be nurtured in return.  Reciprocating her love means being present, appreciating her unique ways of showing affection, and putting in the effort to keep the relationship thriving.  But unexpected areas like leading her, protecting her, and being decisive with her is important too. Shared humor is another way to reciprocate but it's important to not always be sarcastic or cracking jokes at another expense. But playful banter, a little wit and wry humor can go a long way to make your connection feel fun and lively. From her desire to be sexual with you to introducing you to her friends and family, a woman in love shows her affection in countless ways. This episode helps you decode her actions and highlights the importance of stepping into her perspective to understand how she experiences love.  Ready to Come Closer? Tune in to learn how to recognize, appreciate, and deepen love in your relationship. For more insights into intimacy and connection, visit Closeness.com. Are you ready to come closer? Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 7:23 1. When she's deferential towards you 14:26 2. She looks at you directly, frequently 16:47 3. The way that she looks at you 20:55 4. Admiration 24:12 5. Her desire to have sex with you 28:50 6. The way she'll have sex with you and what she's willing to do 35:30 Putting yourself in her position 41:12 7. Little notes and mementos 42:56 8. Gifts 45:57 9. She wants to talk to you and be near you all the time 48:30 10. She gives you her softness 50:47 11. She's more sexual and sensual outside of the bedroom 51:50 12. Exchanging videos, memes and all number of cute things 52:30 13. She shows up for you and is there when you need her 54:44 14. She loves to have fun with you and play with you 56:30 15. Her family and or friends know about you and love you or like you lots
Sexual Tension. What it is, how to play with it and why you must build it with your partner
Oct 31 2023
Sexual Tension. What it is, how to play with it and why you must build it with your partner
This episode dives into that unspoken, magnetic force that women love, men are strangers to and has the ability to keep relationships alive: sexual tension. To begin, do you know what it is? How would you describe it to someone? Far from a fleeting moment of attraction, sexual tension is a dynamic between you and your partner. An energy that is felt. A strong feeling. A deliberate energy that fuels desire, excitement, and intimacy in long-term and short term relationships alike. Whether you’re looking to reignite a spark or keep the flames burning, this episode breaks down why sexual tension matters and how to master it. Another way to think of sexual tension is the unspoken, electrifying connection that builds anticipation and desire between partners- but ESPECIALLY for women. It’s not about rushing to the finish line but about creating a charged space where passion can thrive. For men, this often means embracing assertiveness, confidence, healthy dominance and masculinity in a way that engages their partner. For women, it’s about responding to that energy and feeling desired. Without this interplay, relationships can feel stagnant, leading to a drop in attraction and intimacy over time. How to Build Sexual Tension Keeping the spark alive requires intentional effort- and again usually on the part of the man. From maintaining steady eye contact to spontaneous, consensual touch, the art of creating tension and seduction can lie in subtlety. Non-verbal cues, intense or even mischievous, playful teasing, and a willingness to show your desire (instead of asking for it) all play a role. Timing (another important thing to most women) is everything—knowing when and how to initiate intimacy is key to making your partner feel wanted without overwhelming her or taking her by surprise in a bad way. Remember, many women want to experience that rush of being taken or feeing desired—not asked for sex like a mother / child dynamic.  But the being taken part can only be done when trust and consent are firmly established. Why Men Must Take the Lead This episode highlights the differences in how men and women initiate intimacy. While men often hesitate or misinterpret cues, women are looking for confidence and decisiveness in their man. Women want to feel pursued, but that doesn’t mean bulldozing past boundaries. The solution? Lead with your energy, make your intentions clear with your CALM body language, and leave the overthinking to her. Sexual tension thrives when both partners lean into their natural dynamics, with men taking initiative and women responding to the energy. Becoming a Sexual Being To satisfy your partner fully, you have to embody your sexual energy—not as a forced persona, or actor, but as a natural extension of who you are. Sexual tension isn’t about planning or being mechanical and it's not about role playing; it’s about creating a playful, passionate buildup that keeps both partners excited. Whether you’ve been together for a year or a decade, becoming a sexual being is about consistently showing up with intention, curiosity, and confidence. Ready to Come Closer? This episode will teach you how to spark desire, keep intimacy alive, and master the art of sexual tension in your relationship. For more tips on creating passion and connection, visit Closeness.com.  Are you ready to come closer?  CHAPTERS 0:00 Intro 1:39 Men and women show sexual interest differently 3:41 Puppy dog love 8:34 Men and women initiate differently 12:33 What does it look like when a woman makes herself sexually available to you 14:23 Finding the right "time" to initiate 15:58 How to be sexual with your consensual partner 18:37 Why men have a hard time with timing 21:14 Don't ask her to do it, show her 22:16 What it means to bring your masculine energy to the relationship 24:25 Distinguishing consent from asking for sex 28:14 Why can't women initiate? 29:18 Why you must initiate with her 30:14 When women actually do want to initiate 31:44 When is the right time to initiate sex with your partner 35:34 She wants you to take her 39:24 Getting all those bad boy qualities into... you 43:17 How to create a nice sexual buildup 46:20 Be careful of being mechanical and planning it all out 47:38 You must become a sexual being or a sexual person to satisfy her 49:22 All about sexual tension 57:55 Outro
Understanding how your partner starts fights and provokes you… and what you can do about it
Jun 13 2023
Understanding how your partner starts fights and provokes you… and what you can do about it
How to Navigate Conflict and Stop the Cycle of Petty Fights As much as we want our relationships to be full of passion and connection, they can also be bogged down by repetitive, exhausting conflicts. In this dense yet insightful episode, we dive into the dynamics of how fights start, why some partners provoke or blindside you, and what you can do to handle conflict in a healthier way. Fighting over petty issues often leaves couples feeling drained, disconnected, and unsure of what they were even arguing about. Let’s unpack how to break that cycle and focus on building true intimacy. The Root of Conflict: Repetition and Provocation Most conflicts in relationships stem from repetitive actions or patterns—someone keeps doing something that bothers their partner, sometimes seemingly intentionally, without resolution. Some partners even unconsciously provoke fights to validate their own emotions, to make things "interesting" or gain control of the dynamic. Understanding this cause-and-effect loop is critical. Whether your partner is direct in their frustration or engages in 30 minutes of subtle bad behavior before finally blowing up, recognizing these patterns helps you respond with presence or confidence instead of defensiveness. Why Vulnerability Is So Elusive One of the biggest challenges in resolving conflict is that many people don’t know how to be vulnerable. Instead of opening up, they engage in psychological warfare, from blindsiding their partner with unrelated grievances to diving into text battles that escalate emotions without resolution. Your feelings are important and matter sure, but they don’t always need validation if they’re clouded by negativity or misinterpretation or are based in things that never happened. Healthy communication requires us to distinguish between intuitive insights and overreactions. How to Navigate and De-escalate Fights Defending yourself constantly and at every turn often escalates the situation instead of resolving it. Instead, put your attention on what’s working in your relationship rather than fixating on its shortcomings. That sounds so basic but it's extremely powerful and effective. Where is your attention? But remember, you’re not obligated to tolerate bad behavior endlessly. Setting boundaries and not giving in to your pervasive desire to play the role of an armchair psychologist for your partner’s unchecked emotions is key to maintaining your own emotional well-being. This episode is a masterclass in recognizing patterns, staying present, and disengaging from toxic cycles. It’s not about being infinitely patient but about creating space for accountability, understanding, and meaningful connection. Ready to Come Closer? Tune in now to learn how to approach conflict in a way that builds intimacy instead of tearing it down. For more tools on creating healthier relationships, visit Closeness.com. Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 1:59 Conflict is usually the result of a repetitive action   3:20 Cause and effect   9:54 Some partners enjoy provoking you 11:10 Indirect vs direct: 20 minutes of bad behavior   24:02 Another 10 minutes of bad behavior   30:30 A logic based universe   32:30 When something parasitic occurs in the brain   37:22 No one actually knows how to be vulnerable today   38:56 Blindsiding your partner will lead to confusion and negative reactions   40:25 The elusive world of feelings   42:15 When people think all feelings are valid and should be validated   48:45 Understanding intuition   50:45 Text fights   53:30 Engaging in psychological warfare   53:56 When you're already a present, honest and accountable partner but they keep tanking   55:30 When you've done nothing to violate trust   58:00 Defending yourself is often not in your best interest   1:03:00 Are you focusing on what's working or the lack of it?   1:04:05 When you just have a stormy partner   1:05:25 It's natural to get defensive after poking the pair or being prodded   1:06:15 You cannot be infinitely patient with bad behavior   1:07:28 Stop playing the armchair psychologist   1:10:46 Outro
Closeness Interview: A glimpse into a millennial military spouse’s marriage. Could this also be your relationship?
Feb 13 2023
Closeness Interview: A glimpse into a millennial military spouse’s marriage. Could this also be your relationship?
Grappling with Intimacy: A Closeness Client’s True Story In this unprecedented episode, we step into the intimate world of a Closeness client as she candidly shares her struggles with intimacy and her desire for dominance and assertiveness in her relationship. Read by the podcast host, this two-part interview offers a unique listening experience—complete with a “director’s cut” featuring host commentary alongside the raw, unfiltered story. The Struggles of Balancing Desire and Connection The client’s experience sheds light on a universal challenge:  her yearning for a partner who can take charge in the bedroom and assert confidence in the relationship resonates with anyone who has ever craved deeper passion or clarity in their connection. A Rare and Honest Perspective The interview delves into themes of self-discovery, unmet expectations, and the often-overlooked dynamics of dominance in intimacy. With insightful commentary from the host, listeners gain a deeper understanding of how these desires play out in real-life relationships and what they can teach us about our own. Does Her Story Resonate With You? Whether you see yourself in her struggles or are curious about the dynamics of intimacy, this episode invites you to explore the deeper layers of connection and desire. Tune in for an honest, thought-provoking look at the challenges and triumphs of balancing assertiveness, vulnerability, and intimacy. Ready to Come Closer? Discover the raw truths of intimacy and learn how to create deeper, more fulfilling relationships by visiting Closeness.com. Let’s get closer—one story at a time. 🌟 CHAPTERS: 0:00 Intro 2:15 The basis of this interview 6:04 The unedited interview begins at about 58 minutes 6:24 The interview begins 7:09 How long have you been together and what is working? 8:16 Fantasizing about dominance 8:42 How is your communication? 9:16 Some personal commentary 11:56 What are you struggling with in your relationship? 12:40 Discussion about women waiting for the action 14:52 She needs a dominant man 22:58 How can I help and what do you want to accomplish here? 29:40 Infidelity and frequency of sex 32:48 Expectations about sex 35:12 Who rejects who more and why? 38:59 Where would you like to see your partner be more of something 40:48 Her primal sexual experiences 44:40 My commentary 50:30 How a man can assert dominance in an attractive way to her 53:00 The importance of women speaking their minds in relationship 53:32 Her sexual kinks and interests 54:02 Do you climax regularly, even if not together? 54:16 She wants to learn how to be more feminine and eliminate masculine energy 58:34 FULL UNADULTERATED INTERVIEW 1:21:59 Outro
How to move things forward and have sex when you feel like roommates, best friends or are simply not progressing
Feb 5 2023
How to move things forward and have sex when you feel like roommates, best friends or are simply not progressing
Feeling like roommates instead of lovers? You’re not alone. One of the biggest struggles in long-term relationships is when passion fades, intimacy stalls, and everything starts to feel stale. In this episode, we dive deep into why this happens and, more importantly, how to fix it. Whether you’re a man or a woman, you’ll learn immediate actionable strategies to reignite the spark and take the lead in moving intimacy forward—no waiting around. Why Relationships Go Stale—and What to Do About It Over time, couples can fall into patterns that kill sexual tension. Some couples have never had sexual tension to begin with. You sit separately on the sofa, treat each other like best friends, and stop being sexy with one another. Men often feel they need to constantly chase, while women hold back, waiting for something to happen. But here’s the truth: keeping intimacy alive requires effort and playfulness from both partners. Women, you’re allowed to take the lead and show interest—there’s nothing wrong with initiating or being more receptive to your partner’s advances. Waiting and hoping can be a fools errand as you may already know if you've been doing this for years.  Build Sexual Tension and Stop Being Predictable If you don't know what sexual tension is you'll learn about it in this episode. Passion thrives on tension, mystery, and spontaneity. Stop playing it too “safe” or being overly sweet—there’s nothing sexy about predictability to most women. Instead, learn how to engage in sexually suggestive behavior. Show your partner you desire them with intentional body language, dirty talk, and flirtatiousness. Men, this doesn’t mean you have to “chase” endlessly; but confidently show her that you DESIRE her, without hesitation. And ladies, don’t be afraid to give clear signals—subtle cues often fly under the radar for most men Keeping the Train Moving Forward Reigniting intimacy is not about making one grand move and stopping there—it’s about momentum. You have to keep the train moving forward by building anticipation, staying engaged, and consistently showing up for your partner sexually and emotionally. Remember, sex and sexuality don’t just “happen” on their own; they require you to bring energy, creativity, and presence to the relationship. This likely means you will have to do 5-25 things in succession to get her going and turn her on.  If you’re ready to stop waiting for things to change and start building the relationship you crave, this episode will show you how. From dirty talk and suggestive behavior to creating a dynamic where both partners feel desired, you’ll learn exactly how to move intimacy forward—starting tonight. Ready to Come Closer? Tune in now to rediscover passion and create the kind of relationship you can’t wait to come home to. For more insights and tools, visit Closeness.com.  Are you ready to come closer?    CHAPTERS:    0:00 Intro   0:57 The Waiting game    3:47 Why this happens    4:57 Women can take the lead without being outrageous    8:13 If you’re already a woman who’s comfortable initiating    10:46 Women don’t want to initiate    12:56 women are hornier but can go longer without it   14:08 On sexual tension and the importance it    15:32 What I think women want sexually    18:01 Summary of key points    21:17 Women can progress things too!    23:23 Ladies you re allowed! Give yourself permission   25:45 Something women can do to initiate or be more receptive    30:02 Men who think they always need to chase    30:55 Women and lofty expectations    31:40 Men can pick up and notice things but not ultra subtle cues     32:58 Just because you’re letting it happen does not mean you necessarily like it   36:54 Advice for men    39:44 Sex and sexuality often doesn’t happen outside of the house   42:46 Sitting separately on the sofa like roommates    48:20 You can’t be too sweet or exclusively sweet    50:28 Examples of being sexy    53:02 Don’t be predictable    54:42 How to engage in suggestive behavior    57:20 How to handle yourself with most women    58:59 How to keep the train moving forward    1:01:23 Further problem solving    1:04:36 Dirty talk    1:05:30 Men really struggle to play and not act    1:07:30 Finding the right words to use with your woman    1:09:24 Delivering the goods    1:13:14 Outro
Why your female partner or wife isn’t having sex with you, and what you can do about it
Nov 1 2022
Why your female partner or wife isn’t having sex with you, and what you can do about it
Sometimes, the things you aren’t doing in bed can be just as damaging as the things you are. In this episode, we explore 10 key reasons why your wife or girlfriend might not feel inspired to be intimate with you—and more importantly, what you can do to turn things around. Spoiler alert: It’s not about asking for sex or sticking to the same moves you’ve been using for years.  Mindset Matters: How Do You View Sex? One of the biggest turn-offs for women is when men treat sex like something they’re owed or something they can “get” from their partner. Similarly it's a turnoff of men beg or ask for it. If you catch yourself using expressions like, “I haven’t gotten any in weeks,” or thinking sex is something she needs to give you, or you catch yourself asking for it, it’s time to reset your mindset. Women can sense neediness from a mile away. Talking about sex too much, asking repeatedly, or being randomly horny without putting in any effort to open her emotionally or mentally isn’t inspiring—it’s exhausting. Stop Doing What Isn’t Working Relationships aren’t static, and neither is intimacy. What worked in the past—whether it’s moves from 10 years ago or repeating the same patterns—might not work today. Women thrive on variety, connection, and emotional safety. If you’re doing the bare minimum or refusing to evolve, don’t be surprised if her desire fizzles out. Start paying attention to what excites her. Healthy dominance, creativity, and the confidence to lead can reignite that spark. Inspire, Don’t Demand Desire isn’t automatic. Women need to feel seen, appreciated, and inspired to want intimacy. If you’ve done little to build her up emotionally, mentally, or physically, why would she feel turned on? In this episode, you'll learn to be present, take initiative, and understand her unique rhythms to make all the difference. Remember: women can be insatiable sexually when they feel safe and inspired, so have fun and explore!  This episode is packed with actionable advice to help you shift your mindset, ditch bad habits, and create an environment where intimacy flows naturally. If you’re ready to learn how to inspire your partner and become the lover she craves, this one’s for you. Ready to Come Closer? Tune in now for practical tips on deepening intimacy and sparking passion in your relationship. For more insights, visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer. 🌟   CHAPTERS  0:00 Intro and your mindset about intimacy with your partner  5:04 The fatal mistake of thinking you only had to put in a little work in the beginning 7:34 You're talking about it too much or asking her for sex 9:20 She can smell it on you and knows it's what you want so it feels needy 10:58 You're randomly horny and think she should therefore have sex with you   13:40 You haven't done a whole lot to inspire her or open her 16:23 You see women as objects 19:37 You're doing the same moves from 1-20 years ago 21:12 Asking too many questions and talking too much 22:40 Consent is imperative. But when a women feels safe it isn't always required  24:58 What's working today may not work tonight  26:04 Some women really do need and want healthy dominance  26:24 Women are insatiable sexually - so have fun!  29:00 Outro
10 ways women can feel more sexually desirable and connected in and out of the bedroom
Sep 4 2022
10 ways women can feel more sexually desirable and connected in and out of the bedroom
Feeling sexually desirable isn’t only about what happens in the bedroom—it’s about how you carry yourself, communicate, and engage with the world around you. This may seem obvious but how much are you really paying attention to this day to day.  This episode offers 10 powerful strategies to help women not only feel more confident and open to intimacy but also build deeper connections with their partner. Intimacy thrives when both partners bring their best selves to the relationship, and sometimes, it’s about becoming a better, more self-aware person. Speak Up, Be Present, and Take Action Your partner isn’t a mind reader, and neither are the people around you. Speaking up for yourself—whether it’s about your needs, desires, or boundaries—is a game-changer. But self-awareness also matters: avoid monopolizing conversations and overprocessing out loud for hours on end. Confidence comes from being heard, not from dominating. Similarly, being present when you’re out in the world by looking up from your phone and not ignoring other genders, can invite connection with your energy and openness. When it comes to intimacy, effort matters. While manifesting is a wonderful thing, sitting back and waiting for things to happen is an unlikely way to take control of your life.  Take action, explore what your partner enjoys, and make moves of your own. Letting go of insecurities and anxieties that hold you back from enjoying the moment can be tough. For women, relaxing into intimacy (and yes, allowing your man help you orgasm powerfully) can really set the tone for your day. At the same time, don’t hold mistakes from the past over your partner’s head—growth and forgiveness are essential for intimacy to flourish. Embrace Your Duality: Confidence and Vulnerability Understanding the duality of your beauty is critical—yes, the world cares about how you look, but your personality and inner self and how you carry yourself matters too. Confidence is attractive, but so is humility—toning down entitlement and arrogance can create space for deeper connection.  This episode reminds us that intimacy isn’t about techniques or quick fixes—it’s about presence, effort, and self-awareness. When you communicate openly, bring confidence to the table, and take actionable steps to create connection, you’ll not only feel more sexually desirable, but your partner will feel more open and drawn to you, too. Ready to Come Closer? Tune in to discover how to bring these strategies to life and create deeper, more fulfilling intimacy. For more relationship insights, visit Closeness.com.  Chapters: 0:00 Intro   4:45 Speak up for yourself   12:00 Speaking unconsciously for obnoxious lengths of time   20:26 Making her come well and relax often triggers women to talk   22:24 Learning to be open and in a receptive mode to welcome intimacy   25:58 Don't have sex with people you don't like sleeping with   27:02 Beating up your man for mistakes from his past that he has remedied   33:05 Not letting insecurities get in the way of a good time   36:38 Toning down the arrogance, entitlement and aggressiveness   40:00 Talking about and bringing your fantasies to life   43:00 Coming to terms with the duality of your beauty   54:30 Actually do stuff to your man   59:00 Bonus: Stop grabbing our D's like it's a stress toy   1:00:48 Bonus: You really can do more. Your advances are almost always welcome     Intimacy and closeness are not always about the hottest sex tip or latest magazine article for instant results. Sometimes it's about being a better person. Here are 10 strategies that are sure to not only make you a better human, but will al
Staying hard, getting it up, finishing too early, ED, PE, and other fascinating subjects for men and women
May 21 2022
Staying hard, getting it up, finishing too early, ED, PE, and other fascinating subjects for men and women
Lasting Longer and Keeping it up:  for Men and Women One of the most difficult—and often unspoken—topics for men is performance in the bedroom. Can he maintain his erection? Does he finish too quickly? Does he struggle with ED, or get so turned on that he finishes in minutes or worse seconds? These questions are more common than you think, yet so few men or couples openly address them. This episode dives deep into the solutions, offering practical tools and insights for both men and women to navigate this sensitive but crucial topic. The Reality of Finishing Too Quickly Finishing too quickly can feel frustrating, embarrassing, and detrimental to a relationship. Women often need significantly more time to warm up physically and mentally, and a man reaching orgasm too soon can leave her unsatisfied and disconnected. While it’s tempting to “accommodate” her in other ways after the fact by using toys, fingers or your mouth, it’s often not enough or ideal. True intimacy requires presence, pacing, and awareness. Grounding techniques—like stillness, breathing, taking short breaks, and slowing down transitions—can help men regain control and create a more fulfilling experience for both partners. Communication, Practice, and Realistic Expectations When men focus so hard on not finishing, they often sabotage themselves by creating mental stress. Instead, staying grounded in the moment, practicing edging (stopping before the point of no return), and understanding your body’s most sensitive areas can help you last longer. It’s also essential to remove stigma and bad expectations around male performance—constant, unbroken hardness isn’t realistic, and your value as a partner isn’t measured by a single act. For women, patience and communication are vital. Men often fear touching themselves or getting too self-conscious about “fixing the issue,” but avoiding the conversation doesn’t help. Women can support their partners by understanding their struggles, avoiding criticism, and encouraging a team-based approach to intimacy. Simple body language, verbal reassurance, and open discussions about preferences can transform the sexual experience. Selflessness, Self-Awareness, and Lasting Connections Lastly, being selfless doesn’t mean neglecting your own pleasure. There’s a balance between caring for your partner and allowing yourself to enjoy the moment without guilt or pressure. Intimacy is a skill—lasting longer, maintaining connection, and improving as a lover requires practice, communication, and mutual effort. The answers are out there, and the path to incredible intimacy starts with openness, patience, and a willingness to grow. Ready to Come Closer? Tune into this powerful episode to learn how to address sexual performance with confidence and care, while strengthening intimacy with your partner. For more tools on creating deeper, more connected relationships, visit Closeness.com. Ready to come closer?  CHAPTERS   0:00 Introductions  1:33 Finishing too quickly is not an option for a successful relationship  2:35 It’s not enough to only accommodate her in other ways  4:04 Women need time to get warmed up!  5:50 It's selfish of you when you finish first  7:40 Analyze your equipment - where are you the most sensitive 8:49 Rocking back and forth  9:37 Grounding yourself  12:14 Caveat for particular women who hold back sex 16:57 Being slothful and lazy  19:19 More techniques for a man to ground himself  21:41 Don’t transition from one thing to the next without a break 24:05 How do you initiate sex  26:46 Body language. It matters!  30:40 Remaining calm through the storm 34:24 Don’t get so focused on not finishing  35:48 Finishing and the actual orgasm are two different t
How to properly be dominant and assertive with a woman in the bedroom
Jan 30 2022
How to properly be dominant and assertive with a woman in the bedroom
How to Be Sexually Dominant in a Hot and Healthy Way Sexual dominance is one of the most misunderstood and controversial topics in intimacy. Many men want to know how to take the lead in the bedroom, but they’re held back by misconceptions, insecurities, or poor role models. In this episode, we break down healthy sexual dominance is—how to guide, lead, and take control in the bedroom in a way that’s confident, respectful, and deeply satisfying for both partners. What Is Healthy Sexual Dominance? Healthy dominance isn’t about aggression, control, or acting like a caricature of masculinity. It’s about being assertive and leading while creating a safe and exciting space where your partner can let go and surrender to the moment. Simply put, true sexual dominance comes from presence—being attuned to her body, energy, and non-verbal cues while leading with confidence. Women often want their partner to take charge, to initiate, and to show desire—but they don’t want to feel objectified, pressured, or disrespected. The key is to lead in a way that feels natural and authentic. Healthy dominance means knowing when to guide her, when to slow things down, and when to ramp up the intensity. It’s about tone, touch, and timing—being intentional with your actions so that she feels both turned on and cared for. Common Misconceptions About Sexual Dominance One of the biggest mistakes men make is equating dominance with aggression. And while some partners may want or enjoy that, acting overly forceful or treating your partner like an object doesn’t make you dominant—it usually creates distance and disconnection. Healthy dominance is a dance between strength and sensitivity. It’s reading her signals, not forcing your own agenda. Another common pitfall is indecision. Saying things like “I don’t know” or constantly asking “What do you want me to do?” kills the mood. Confidence is key—take the lead, make decisions, and trust yourself. Women are often drawn to a partner who can initiate with purpose, not hesitation. How to Practice Healthy Sexual Dominance So, how do you get it right? Here are some practical steps: 1.Set the Tone: Healthy dominance starts before sex even begins. Use eye contact, a confident touch, and a strong presence to let her know you’re in control. Lead without speaking or guide by telling your partner what to do in a respectful tone.  2.Be Attuned to Her: Deep listening matters in the bedroom. Pay attention to her breathing, body movements, and verbal cues to guide the experience. 3.Initiate With Confidence: Don't ask for permission with awkward questions like “Can we have sex?” or paltry touching such as rubbing her side or knee. Instead, lead with action: kiss her, guide her hands, and let your energy build naturally. 4.Balance Softness and Strength: Healthy dominance doesn’t mean being harsh or aggressive. It’s about knowing when to be firm and when to slow down, keeping her anticipation and arousal high. 5.Use Your Words Thoughtfully: Confidence doesn’t require shouting or harsh commands. Speak with a calm, masculine tone and make her feel desired with intentional, seductive language. Redefining Dominance in the Bedroom Healthy sexual dominance is about trust, connection, and presence—not power for power’s sake. When done right, it can unlock new levels of intimacy, excitement, and pleasure for both partners. It’s about making her feel safe while simultaneously pushing boundaries in a way that turns you both on. If you’ve been struggling to understand what sexual dominance really looks like—or how to do it in a way that feels respectful and natural—this episode will give you the tools you need to confidently take the lead. Ready to Come Closer? Tune in to discover how to master healthy dominance in the bedroom and create more fulfilling, connected, and exciting experiences with your partne
Can you have it all in relationships? Plus, female mating strategies
Nov 24 2021
Can you have it all in relationships? Plus, female mating strategies
Can You Have It All in Relationships? In this thought-provoking episode, we explore a timeless question: Can you really have it all in your relationship? From emotional intimacy to sexual fulfillment, we take an honest look at the myths, realities, and expectations that shape modern relationships. Are you expecting your partner to be your everything—your best friend, lover, therapist, and cheerleader? Or is it time to challenge that Disney-inspired fairytale and redefine what “having it all” actually means? Unrealistic Expectations and Self-Reflection Many of us carry the belief that “one person should fulfill all our needs,” but is that possible? We discuss why expecting perfection from a partner sets both people up for disappointment. At the same time, the idea that you’re “perfect just the way you are” can prevent self-improvement. Healthy relationships require work—on yourself and on each other—so is it time to challenge the idea of being flawless and commit to growing instead? The Role of Intimacy and Sexual Skill Sexual fulfillment plays a massive role in relationships, but it doesn’t always come naturally. For men, becoming a skilled lover takes intention, effort, and a willingness to learn. Can a man truly transform himself into a “sexual dynamo”? Sure, but both he and his partner will often balk if he appears to be behaving different than how she knows him to be. Likewise, an unskilled woman can evolve into an incredible lover when she’s open to growth, exploration, and communication. Great intimacy isn’t a given; it’s an ongoing practice. Do You Really Need It All? This episode also dives into the pressures we place on relationships, especially when we compare ourselves to others. The fallacy of “If they can do it, I can too” can create unnecessary frustration. Expecting our partners to be our everything: the one who talks to us, loves us, is always there for us, listens to us and more can put a lot of pressure on the relationship. We reflect on the idea that it’s okay not to have it all in your relationship. Maybe the key to happiness is accepting the balance of strengths and imperfections that make your connection uniquely yours. Ultimately, this episode challenges the unrealistic narratives we carry about love, sex, and partnership. Can one person meet all of your needs? Should they? And are you holding yourself back from personal growth by expecting the fairytale to happen effortlessly? Tune in to discover how redefining your expectations can lead to greater intimacy, self-awareness, and relationship satisfaction. For more on creating closer, more fulfilling connections, visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer! CHAPTERS 0:00 Introduction and can you have it all? Recitals and disclaimers 2:44 In a nutshell 4:20 What does it mean to have it all? 9:40 Misunderstandings 12:40 Should one person be your everything? 15:21 COVID and Politics 16:26 Are you really perfect, just the way you are? 17:40 The Disney Fairytale 21:30 How Women Select mates 24:39 How men often think of intimacy 25:45 Great sex does not come naturally to most many men 33:04 How does one become a skilled lover? 37:25 Can a man really become a sexual dynamo? 40:26 An unskilled woman CAN be flipped into a fantastic lover 47:24 What do I make of all of this? 49:15 The fallacy of, If they can do it I can too" 56:24 Further thoughtsWe're one moment away from a meltdown 58:09 Is it ok that you don't have it all in your relationship?
30 phrases we never need to say to our partners and lovers again
Oct 4 2021
30 phrases we never need to say to our partners and lovers again
Words That Don’t Serve: Phrases We Can Stop Saying in Relationships Language is powerful—it can build connection, but it can also create distance. Unfortunately, our daily conversations are often cluttered with filler words, passive-aggressive jabs, and expressions that serve no one. In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at phrases you simply don’t need to say anymore, especially to your partner. From thoughtless throwaway lines to phrases that diminish connection, you’ll learn how trimming the verbal fat can improve the way you communicate and connect. Stop Saying Things That Mean Nothing Phrases like “I don’t care,” “It depends,” or “It is what it is” may feel harmless, but they add nothing to a conversation. Saying “it depends” is the verbal equivalent of shrugging your shoulders—it’s a knee-jerk response that offers no new information. Similarly, “I just can’t explain it” or “I can’t imagine it” is rarely true—if you try, you usually can explain or imagine. These empty phrases stall intimacy instead of building it. The lesson? Be intentional. If you’re asked a question, take a moment to articulate a thoughtful answer. Avoid Expressions That Undermine Connection Some phrases we use to sound honest or relatable actually undermine the moment. For example, if you’re intimate with someone for the first time, saying “I can’t believe I’m doing this” or “I’m normally not like this” likely doesn't have the effect you think it will and may make you sound insincere or immature. These statements can leave your partner wondering, “Do they say this to everyone?” Instead, lean into the moment without disclaimers—let your actions speak for themselves. Similarly, phrases like “Don’t judge me” or “Who hurt you?” can be dismissive. Everyone judges—it’s part of being human—and asking someone “Who hurt you?” when they’re sharing something vulnerable minimizes their experience. A better approach is to listen, validate their feelings, and keep judgment-free curiosity at the center of your communication. Words That Don’t Make You Special Some expressions are more about ego than connection. Saying “I’m so picky” when it comes to dating, or referring to yourself as a “goddess” or “deity,” doesn’t make you look confident—but rather may appear performative. The truth is, most people have high standards, and most relationships are complicated. Instead of leaning on cliché phrases like “It’s complicated,” take the time to express what you actually feel. Clear, direct communication will always win over vague or over-the-top language. Speak With Intention The takeaway? Communication is about connection. Every word you say carries weight, so stop using phrases that stall intimacy, minimize others’ experiences, or serve no real purpose. Instead, aim for clarity, thoughtfulness, and authenticity in your conversations. By removing filler and owning what you say, you’ll not only sound more confident—you’ll create deeper, more meaningful connections with the people around you. Ready to clean up your communication? Tune in to this episode for practical examples and actionable advice. For more tips on relationships, intimacy, and connection, visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer—without the filler. 🌟   CHAPTERS 0:00 Intro 6:08 So you you don't care?  7:00 Words Carry Power  8:05 I don't sugar coat  10:51 Emoji 12:21 Who hurt you  13:36 That's cute  17:26 It is what it is 19:55 Like I said  22:44 All filler words to speak air  26:10 I feel like rather than I know  30:32 Next time  31:10 It depends  33:20 I just couldn't imagine if it hasn't happened yet 34:42 I can't explain it... 37:16 I am so picky  38:52 Narcissism and misogyny  4
To come or not to come.  Whether men should finish and how women feel about it
Jun 29 2021
To come or not to come. Whether men should finish and how women feel about it
To Come or Not to Come: Should Men Always Finish? When it comes to intimacy, an often overlooked question to ask is quite simply: should a man ALWAYS “finish” during sex? And does he even need to? The answer quite simply is no. It is not always urgent or necessary. Society often treats male orgasm as the end-all, be-all, end-of-it-all of sex, but is this expectation helpful—or even healthy? In this episode, we break down the cultural, emotional, and even spiritual dynamics around male orgasm and challenge the pressure placed on men to “perform” every single time. Societal Expectations and Misconceptions From movies to media, we’ve been conditioned to believe that male ejaculation equals a successful sexual experience. This expectation creates a performative mindset that reduces intimacy to a mechanical act and puts unnecessary pressure on men while making women feel like they are attractive and desirable. It’s a dynamic many don’t talk about: women can unintentionally place heavy pressure on their partners to come by treating male orgasm as proof of their desirability or sexual skill. This leaves little room for men to slow down, be more present, explore, or simply enjoy the experience without worrying about the finish line. The Pros and Cons of Always Finishing Is a male orgasm inherently bad? Absolutely not—it’s natural part of life and for most it's going to happen whether they want it to or not. But there are downsides to chasing it every single time. Spiritually and energetically speaking, some men believe that abstaining from finishing allows them to conserve and generate more energy, deepen connection, and prolong intimacy.  For men who practice restraint, sex becomes less about “getting there” and more about being there. On the flip side, different sex drives and physical needs mean that no two people experience intimacy the same way. For some men, finishing is an essential part of feeling satisfied and connected, and some men unfortunately can't even imagine ONE instance in their life where they would abstain. The key is open communication: partners need to recognize that male pleasure doesn’t always have to be linear, and not reaching orgasm doesn’t necessarily mean something is “wrong.” Pressure and the Myth of Marathon Sex Pressure during sex—whether it’s self-imposed or from a partner—can kill the vibe faster than anything else. Some men feel they’re expected to last forever, perform perfectly, and always finish, which can also create anxiety instead of connection. There’s no reward for marathon sex if it’s not enjoyable for both partners. Making her come a 60th time does not crown you king of the hill. Intimacy isn’t a competition or a checklist—it’s about shared experience, pleasure, and emotional connection. Final Thoughts and Takeaways This episode helps us remember that sex is more than a sport, an act or an objective that must be reached. For men, understanding their own bodies, communicating with their partners, and challenging societal expectations can lead to more fulfilling and pressure-free intimacy. For women, it’s about recognizing that a man not finishing doesn’t mean failure—it’s just a different way of being present. So, to come or not to come? The answer lies in what feels best for you and your partner but we certainly have some ideas and suggestions for you. Release the pressure, explore the possibilities, and redefine what great sex means to you both. Ready to Come Closer? For more insights on intimacy, connection, and relationships, tune into this episode and visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer, together. 🌟 0:00 Introduction 0:53 Societal expectations around finishing 1:33 Typical expectations around male ejaculation 9:10 Is a male orgasm bad? 12:03 The spiritual minded orgasm 13:17 R
Empathy, understanding and answers for sexually inexperienced men
Apr 11 2021
Empathy, understanding and answers for sexually inexperienced men
Navigating Sexual Inexperience: A Guide for Men and Their Partners Sexual inexperience in men is a topic of conversation that is often avoided, misunderstood, or riddled with shame. This episode of Closeness addresses the stigma, challenges, and solutions for men who lack experience in the bedroom, offering actionable advice for both men and their partners. Whether you’re the one navigating inexperience or supporting someone who is, this episode provides the tools to foster understanding, intimacy, and growth. Breaking the Silence Around Sexual Inexperience In today’s hypersexualized world, inexperienced men often feel isolated and inadequate. Or, they simply parrot what they see in porn.  Many assume that sex is a skill that magically comes naturally once you’re in a relationship—or worse, that marriage will magically unlock expertise. The reality? Sexual skills, like any other, require learning, practice, and open communication. Men facing this challenge often grapple with shame, guilt, and fear of judgment, making it difficult for them to reach out for help. This episode reassures them: you are not alone. Why Women Struggle to Teach A crucial insight shared in this episode is that women typically don’t want to teach their man how to have sex with them. Some find it less than sexy and others find it emasculating but  some partners still may be patient and understanding. Most women however can become frustrated or resentful when they feel like they have to initiate all the time or carry the burden of sexual exploration. This dynamic often results in tension, where women may feel unfulfilled, and leave their men feeling  inadequate. Additionally, it's my experience that sexually inexperienced men often find themselves paired with more experienced women. In these cases, women may take the lead initially but can grow weary if the dynamic remains one-sided year after year. Most women will initiate less in relationship after the romance period wears off. The challenge for men is to overcome hesitation, build confidence, and actively participate in the relationship without relying solely on their partner to drive intimacy. Sadly most men are intimidated by their female partner, too scared or nervous, or think they are pretending, role playing or acting.  How Women Can Help Support Their Partner While women may not want to “teach” directly, they can play a vital role in helping their inexperienced partners grow. The episode offers practical advice for women, such as: 1.Create a Safe Space: Make your partner feel safe, valued, and respected. Judgment-free communication and an openness to play is key. 2.Encourage Exploration: Gently suggest new things to try together, turning intimacy into a collaborative and enjoyable experience. 3.Focus on Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate progress and moments of connection instead of focusing on what isn’t working. When women approach the situation with patience and support, it helps reduce the pressure and stigma men may feel, paving the way for mutual growth and deeper intimacy. Are Women More Sexual Than Men? The episode also challenges the stereotype that men are always the more sexual partner. In many cases, women may express greater sexual confidence or desire, especially when paired with an inexperienced partner.  Understanding that sexual energy is not inherently tied to gender can help both partners redefine their dynamic and meet each other’s needs more effectively. Building Confidence and Connection Inexperienced men often take on what might traditionally be seen as the “female role” in the bedroom, leaning into passivity, submissiveness or hesitation. This isn’t inherently bad, but it highlights the need for men to step into their own confidence. Developing a stronger sense of self-awareness, embracing vulnerability, and actively participating in sexual and e