Closeness

Tari Mannello

San Diego's number one rated sex, intimacy and love coach takes you on a passionate journey through all the forbidden questions you've always wanted answers to. Get clear, sensual, guidance to help you learn about your body, experience more passion and uncover hotter chemistry. Learn how to do all of it simply by tuning in and applying what you learned. If you're currently experiencing heartbreak, emotional pain or betrayal there are plenty additional episodes to help you get through it all. Tari's unique blend of wisdom, intelligence and humor takes complex and often uncomfortable subjects and breaks them down into something you can do something with, tonight! A must for anyone who wants to elevate themselves or their intimate relationship to the next level. The Closeness podcast is also a supplement to real world in-person and virtual coaching sessions. To schedule an appointment for you and your partner, fill out an intake form at www.cravecloseness.com/intake read less
Health & FitnessHealth & Fitness

Episodes

20 Things to consider when dating a woman who has children
Nov 19 2023
20 Things to consider when dating a woman who has children
Chapters:  0:00 Intro  2:25 Disclosures  3:45 Connecting with your children is not something that ever ends  5:45  1. Anytime something goes wrong, it’s going to require mom’s instant attention  7:06 A taste of my story  9:50 2. Many women think their ex is crazy or a narcissist  12:00 The usual disclaimers  14:00 A contribution from a single mother  15:57 3. The length of your commitment matters  17:56 4. Her children must come first  22:15 5. You can’t just come over  23:29 5a. Sometimes you may rank last in terms of priority  24:24 5b. The ex she’s still in touch with  25:30 Giving a balanced perspective  27:04 6. You are stepping into a pre-existing family  30:30 7. If the children don’t like you  32:26 8. Divorce statistics and how they effect children  33:39 9. You’ve got to be creative with discipline  35:50 10. Navigating who should pay… for everyone  41:06 11. The possibility of meeting the ex or proverbial crazy ex  42:35 12. Extended family is often involved  45:14 13. Women are incredible care takers- but often not for you  49:08 14. The biggest risk: Spending time with the kids by yourself  50:50 15. You’re not man enough for not raising her kids?  52:42 16. Women have LOTS of “standards.” You’re allowed to have standards too 55:04 17. Physically speaking…  59:04 18. What about what you need as a man?  1:01:08 19. Women’s needs are often met by having and raising children  1:03:35 20. Kids are truly a sensory experience for women  1:07:20 Warm sentiments on the joys of connecting with children  1:10:55 Outro
Understanding how your partner starts fights and provokes you… and what you can do about it
Jun 13 2023
Understanding how your partner starts fights and provokes you… and what you can do about it
This is admittedly a dense episode. It's less about the usual sexy and thought provoking ideas we usually explore and more about the inane conflicts that arise in relationship which prevent us from experiencing true intimacy or a great connection! Fighting is often trite, exhausting and most couple's can't even remember what their last ten or twenty petty fights were all about. While some altercations may be symptomatic of a deeper issue, others can simply be avoided with a little presence. In this episode we'll teach you how to understand and navigate conflict in a healthy way. Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 1:59 Conflict is usually the result of a repetitive action 3:20 Cause and effect 9:54 Some partners enjoy provoking you 11:10 Indirect vs direct: 20 minutes of bad behavior 24:02 Another 10 minutes of bad behavior 30:30 A logic based universe 32:30 When something parasitic occurs in the brain 37:22 No one actually knows how to be vulnerable today 38:56 Blindsiding your partner will lead to confusion and negative reactions 40:25 The elusive world of feelings 42:15 When people think all feelings are valid and should be validated 48:45 Understanding intuition 50:45 Text fights 53:30 Engaging in psychological warfare 53:56 When you're already a present, honest and accountable partner but they keep tanking 55:30 When you've done nothing to violate trust 58:00 Defending yourself is often not in your best interest 1:03:00 Are you focusing on what's working or the lack of it? 1:04:05 When you just have a stormy partner 1:05:25 It's natural to get defensive after poking the pair or being prodded 1:06:15 You cannot be infinitely patient with bad behavior 1:07:28 Playin the armchair psychologist 1:10:46 Outro
Closeness Interview: A glimpse into a millennial military spouse’s marriage. Could this also be your relationship?
Feb 13 2023
Closeness Interview: A glimpse into a millennial military spouse’s marriage. Could this also be your relationship?
In this unprecedented interview read by the podcast host, a Closeness Client shares her struggles with intimacy and grapples with her desires for dominance and assertiveness in relationship. A two part interview with a "director's cut" version: commentary from the host, as well as an unadulterated interview. Does her experience hit home? CHAPTERS: 0:00 Intro 2:15 The basis of this interview 6:04 The unedited interview begins at about 58 minutes 6:24 The interview begins 7:09 How long have you been together and what is working? 8:16 Fantasizing about dominance 8:42 How is your communication? 9:16 Some personal commentary 11:56 What are you struggling with in your relationship? 12:40 Discussion about women waiting for the action 14:52 She needs a dominant man 22:58 How can I help and what do you want to accomplish here? 29:40 Infidelity and frequency of sex 32:48 Expectations about sex 35:12 Who rejects who more and why? 38:59 Where would you like to see your partner be more of something 40:48 Her primal sexual experiences 44:40 My commentary 50:30 How a man can assert dominance in an attractive way to her 53:00 The importance of women speaking their minds in relationship 53:32 Her sexual kinks and interests 54:02 Do you climax regularly, even if not together? 54:16 She wants to learn how to be more feminine and elimiate masculine energy 58:34 FULL UNADULTERATED INTERVIEW 1:21:59 Outro
How to move things forward and have sex when you feel like roommates, best friends or are simply not progressing
Feb 5 2023
How to move things forward and have sex when you feel like roommates, best friends or are simply not progressing
Without a doubt, one of the number one reasons people struggle in long term, committed relationships, is because they feel like best friends or roommates at home. There's no passion or excitement! Nothing is moving forward, or things have gone stale. In this hour long episode you’ll learn how to immediately take the reins again and change that immediately.  CHAPTERS:  0:00 Intro 0:57 The Waiting game  3:47 Why this happens  4:57 Women can take the lead without being outrageous  8:13 If you’re already a woman who’s comfortable initiating  10:46 Women don’t want to initiate  12:56 women are hornier but can go longer without it   14:08 On sexual tension and the importance it  15:32 What I think women want sexually  18:01 Summary of key points  21:17 Women can progress things too!  23:23 Ladies you re allowed! Give yourself permission 25:45 Something women can do to initiate or be more receptive  30:02 Men who think they always need to chase  30:55 Women and lofty expectations  31:40 Men can pick up and notice things but not ultra subtle cues   32:58 Just because you’re letting it happen does not mean you necessarily like it 36:54 Advice for men  39:44 Sex and sexuality often doesn’t happen outside of the house   42:46 Sitting separately on the sofa like roommates  48:20 You can’t be too sweet or exclusively sweet  50:28 Examples of being sexy  53:02 Don’t be predictable  54:42 How to engage in suggestive behavior  57:20 How to handle yourself with most women  58:59 How to keep the train moving forward  1:01:23 Further problem solving  1:04:36 Dirty talk  1:05:30 Men really struggle to play and not act  1:07:30 Finding the right words to use with your woman  1:09:24 Delivering the goods  1:13:14 Outro
Staying hard, getting it up, finishing too early, ED, PE, and other fascinating subjects for men and women
May 21 2022
Staying hard, getting it up, finishing too early, ED, PE, and other fascinating subjects for men and women
The most difficult subject for any man to think about much less discuss is likely to be: keeping it up, getting it up and finishing too quickly. This is an episode you'll want to listen to with your partner because there are tools, tips and tricks in here for both men and women. Don't skip out on incredible intimacy when the answers can be found right here! CHAPTERS 0:00 Introductions  1:33 Finishing too quickly is not an option for a successful relationship  2:35 It’s not enough to only accommodate her in other ways  4:04 Women need time to get warmed up!  5:50 It's selfish of you when you finish first  7:40 Analyze your equipment - where are you the most sensitive 8:49 Rocking back and forth  9:37 Grounding yourself  12:14 Caveat for particular women who hold back sex 16:57 Being slothful and lazy  19:19 More techniques for a man to ground himself  21:41 Don’t transition from one thing to the next without a break 24:05 How do you initiate sex  26:46 Body language. It matters!  30:40 Remaining calm through the storm 34:24 Don’t get so focused on not finishing  35:48 Finishing and the actual orgasm are two different things  37:12 Thoughts on edging  39:39 You just can’t last without practice  40:45 Thoughts on taking care of her first  43:32 Simply making a woman come once is not the answer 44:30 Selflessness vs selfishness 46:46 When you’ve been with someone for a long time  49:16 How to be a little more selfish  52:11 Maintaining your erection  52:50 The absurdity of constant hardness  55:10 The women that want you to be ‘obsessed’  58:55 Where exactly do you touch her if she doesn’t want certain parts touched? 1:01:09 It’s not always about how hard you are  1:02:09 Men avoid sex too, just like you  1:04:04 When you catch yourself avoiding sex, do this instead  1:06:46 Being afraid to touch it and getting uncomfortable  1:08:00 Things women do that do NOT help  1:11:26 Why is touching it not ok  1:13:49 Removing the stigma of touching yourself  1:15:23 Bad expectations  1:19:35 Outro
How to properly be dominant and assertive with a woman in the bedroom
Jan 30 2022
How to properly be dominant and assertive with a woman in the bedroom
CHAPTERS 0:00 Introductions 3:29 How exactly does a man learn to be dominant 8:06 What does healthy dominance mean? 14:30 When a woman is ready for sex before you are and understanding gender roles 16:15 What is sexual foreplay? 22:05 Women often can't express what they want 24:03 How do you handle bad results and fears 25:37 Welcome to Deep Listening™ 29:04 What do women want in bed? 30:15 The shadow side of aggressiveness is not sexually attractive 32:45 What are some better approaches 35:36 It's not about acting 36:32 What is your working definition of being dominant? 38:15 More on what healthy dominance is not 42:00 Men have a different idea of what dominance is, and it's not good 46:40 Anything can be done with the right tone, intensity and speed 47:40 Women with sass 50:16 Don't treat her like a dog 52:06 Why men have such a hard time doing it right 54:18 Women already deeply struggle with decisiveness 55:32 Most women don't often know what they want or how to help you 57:46 More steps to begin being more dominant 58:38 How to demand a woman's presence 1:00:03 Please stop saying I don't know 1:01:58 How to ask the right questions 1:03:45 The myth that the fantasy just happens... naturally 1:06:16 How men ask for sex 1:12:50 To be dominant you must know this 1:13:38 More on what being dominant does NOT mean 1:14:46 What would REALLY put you in the mood for sex? Is it help with chores? 1:17:55 Thoughts on initiations 1:20:10 Final master tips 1:24:52 Outro
Part 2: How to properly handle, cope and deal with a breakup
Jan 26 2021
Part 2: How to properly handle, cope and deal with a breakup
One of the biggest challenges of being alive today, is handling, processing, surviving and getting through a breakup. In this 90 minute episode I am going to help you get through it. CHAPTERS 0:00 Intro 2:45 You are probably in crisis right now 7:09 We look for ways to resent our partner to get over them 8:05 Understanding the emotional scale 9:08 There must be a grieving process 10:20 The disaster of distracting yourself vs healing yourself 12:14 The age old adage, that everything heals with time is not helpful 14:45 How to self soothe and search for relief 17:33 Avoiding unhealthy distractions 24:39 How can you separate distractions from helpful actions to occupy your mind or time? 30:09 Things to not do during your healing process 35:00 The kinds of friends you should seek solace from 39:14 Feng Shui and letting of old possessions 41:05 Questions to reflect on 43:02 It's the aftermath of a breakup that makes spending time together impossible 48:01 Trying to be with or supportive of your ex while they are reeling 50:01 The loss of all terms of endearment 51:43 Pay attention to how they treat you during and after a breakup 54:19 We never want to talk about it when things are going well 57:27 We don't need to suffer so deeply to experience the highest of highs 59:15 When you like or love your partner more than they like or love you 1:00:42 The person who loves you less will tend to gaslight and attack you 1:06:10 People are selfish 1:08:26 You're never going to get what you want when you need it most 1:17:07 People lie... incessantly 1:22:21 In lying to and deceiving your partner, you will lead them on 1:26:36 When they tell you they need space...