Summer is coming. The kids are going to be underfoot for the next three months, and there is nowhere to hide. If you home school, you might be thinking, “get on my level,” but for most families the next few weeks can be a very stressful transition. Everyone is excited about vacation and free time, but these things are a double-edged sword. At some point, the lack of structure usually starts to get on everyone’s nerves, and the tension starts to climb alongside the temperature. On this episode of A Time to Sharpen, we’ll talk with Thomas Brown, the house supervisor at Whetstone Boys Ranch, about ways to manage all this extra time, including the inevitable complaints about being “bored.” We’ll suggest a few “hard-fast flexibles” to help you navigate the often contradictory need for choice and for boundaries. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

God is never not communicating with us. If we can’t hear him, it’s not His fault. We need to pay closer attention to the signs and signals he unceasingly sends us, taking time to reflect in contemplation and conversation.  On this episode of A Time to Sharpen, we will discuss how God speaks to us through our kids, students, or anyone in our care. It behooves us to learn how to listen to what they are telling us through their actions, not just their words. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

Elvis. Chuck Berry. The Beatles.   Young people flocked to hear them sing. Boys and girls bought their records by the millions, lined their rooms with posters, and toted lunch boxes with their image to school. Young men dressed like them, moved like them, and wore their hair like them. Young women swooned at their feet.    Corporate America took note. The money-making machine went into high gear and created an entire class of people that didn’t really exist before then: the “teenager.” Popular culture has never been the same.    Today there is a huge divide between adults and teenagers – a gap which serves Wallstreet well, but doesn’t do much for parents, teachers, and counselors.    Join us as we speak with Jeremy Thompson, executive director and co-founder of Whetstone Boys Ranch, for a discussion about generational conflict, and what we can do make things better, not worse.  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

We’ve all been the new kid on the block. We all know what it feels like to have “all eyes on you.” You’re in a fish bowl, and there is no way out. The faces of people around you are exaggerated by the strange curved glass that distorts your view of them and traps you inside their gaze.  At Whetstone Boys Ranch, we have a boy, or two, or three going through this experience every month, and it’s our responsibility to make them feel welcome, loved, seen, and heard.  It’s not easy, but we’ve learned a few tricks along the way, and on this episode of “A Time to Sharpen,” we’d like to share them.   --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

Change usually happens slowly. Our minds and our bodies are not capable of handling too much all at once. It’s actually kind of unhealthy. Yes, there are baptisms of fire, and God can pull off a ‘road to Damascus moment’ any time he desires, but these seem to be the exception. At Whetstone, graduations are a time to publicly celebrate the change that has occurred within a young man over many months. They are also a reminder that whatever change occurs in his future will also take time. It will not all be smooth sailing from now on. But when we live by faith, we inevitably look back and see that God was in charge all along. On this episode of A Time to Sharpen, we’ll talk about this process and celebrate Christ’s work in shaping our boys’ hearts. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

We cannot underestimate the power of mentors in our lives. None of us has the power of will to make it on our own. We are not strong enough, smart enough, or good-looking enough. When we are teenagers, we THINK we are, but within a few short years (years that don’t feel short at the time) most of us realize our own folly. As John Wayne is credited as saying, “Life is hard. It’s harder if you’re stupid.” At their most basic level, mentors help us to not be stupid. This might seem like a very low standard, but I think most parents will settle for this 9 times out of 10. Those loftier virtues are great, and we should aim our life in their direction, but let’s first put some measures in place to keep us from moving in the opposite direction. Mentors are this backstop. They are there to tell us, “Hey, stupid. Stop doing that stupid thing.” And if the relationship is there, we are inclined to listen. Today on A Time to Sharpen, we’ll talk with Troy Vetter, executive pastor at Pomona Christian Church here in Missouri. Troy moved to the Show Me State to work at Whetstone in 2013. He was one of our very first “mentoring specialists.” He lived, ate, and breathed with the boys every day for almost 2 years. This is his story. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

A mental note is a lost note. A short pencil is better than a long memory. If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time. That last quote is from Zig Ziglar. The first two my dad told me growing up…like…every day. They were drilled into my soul. “You have to write things down,” he’d say, “or it’s never gonna happen.” This is backed up by countless studies. I don’t know if successful people tend to write things down, or if writing things down makes you successful, but it doesn’t really matter which is the chicken and which is the egg – they both taste pretty good when they’re cooked and seasoned just right. On this episode of A Time to Sharpen, we will discuss making SMARTr goals: goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-Bound…and “relationship-oriented.” We added that last letter to the famous acronym, SMART, because none of it matters to parents, teachers, and counselors, if we don’t have relationship, does it? Plus, spelling it that way kind of reminded me of Dumb and Dumber. And I really like Dumb and Dumber. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

Timing is everything. This is true in so many areas of life. It’s true with hitting a curveball. It’s true about making a joke and about offering words of wisdom. It’s true about investing in crypto…boy, is it true about investing in crypto! It’s also true when considering the right time to send a son or daughter to a therapeutic boarding school. Wait too long, and you’ll lose the window that you have to make an impact. Send them too soon, and you risk communicating that you don’t care enough to keep trying. Both extremes are dangerous, and it’s not like it’s better to err on one side than the other. You want the timing to be just right. On this episode of A Time to Sharpen, Brandon and I will try to help parents answer the impossibly difficult question about when it’s “time” to send a child away from their home to get the help they need. It’s a question sent to us by one of our listeners, so we know it’s a good one. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

The story of Gideon has some serious ups and downs. He trusts God and then he doesn’t. And then he does. And then God decides that Gideon doesn’t trust Him enough. So God reduces the size of Gideon’s army from 32,000 to 300, “lest Israel” according to the Biblical account, “claim glory for itself…saying, ‘My own hand has saved me.’” It seems that God orchestrates our circumstances at times, so that He will be glorified, not us. He makes it impossible for us to conclude that the goodness in our life results from anything other than his love and grace. The odd thing is that this often appears to us like He is apathetic, negligent, or even cruel. And even though we know this is not the case, we can’t help feeling this way. On this episode of A Time to Sharpen, we are going to discuss some of these feelings. It’s a rollercoaster. And if that makes you feel uncomfortable, make you sure to buckle up before pressing play. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

We are born to run. The human body is built for it – it’s a biomechanical miracle, allowing all of our muscles, bones, and joints to move in synchronization. Little children can do it all day long without being trained how or told why. As we get older, we become more interested in speed and utility. We see it as a means to end. We compare ourselves to others. Our bodies break down. Eventually, for most, it starts to cause pain. The pure joy of running gets pushed farther and farther from our mind. The Bible says that “they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary.” It speaks of running as worship and celebration. When we run, we are doing what we were designed to do. But the devil is good at what he does. He knows how to take something that God created and twist it just enough, lie about it just enough, that we no longer see his design clearly. Join us this week on A Time to Sharpen, for a discussion of how to reclaim the joy of running. And we’re not just talking about the physical kind. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

Jehovah Jirah!  “The Lord Provides.” People of the book like to say this, sometimes without thinking. It’s a nice thought to adorn a coffee mug or a t-shirt. Maybe we have a bumper sticker that proclaims it. Nothing wrong with any of this, but there is a danger that its ubiquity strips it of its power. It can become cliché, and as such, something we can take or leave. But when Abraham was suddenly and miraculously relieved from the responsibility of sacrificing his only son, Isaac, he didn’t use it in a way that would fit the context of key-chain. He was profoundly grateful for God’s deliverance, and it would dramatically shape the rest of his life, as well as generations to come. The same should be true of parents, teachers, and counselors. We must be dutiful, and professional, and apply best practices, but only God can make the ram emerge from the thicket. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

There’s no place like home. Seriously, there is no place like it for tension, and fighting, and feeling like you’ll never measure up. Home is not always the healing balm that God intended it to be. At times it is a battlefield, pitting husband against wife, parent against child, brother against sister. There are tangled barbed wire lines we’re not supposed to cross, and buried landmines that we know nothing about. It is a feat, some evenings, to even survive the ordeal of dinner. All of us feel this way sometimes. It’s normal. There is an ebb and flow to family life that must be taken into account – especially when you feel the water starting to rise above your head. There is a temptation to panic. On this episode of A Time to Sharpen, Brandon and I will talk about some of these normal, everyday challenges and share a few strategies for coping with them. We struggle too. And in times like this, we inevitably turn to Will Ferrell for emotional support. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

It’s that time of year again. Time to buy new shoes for the kids, and a Trapper Keeper, and a fresh pack of unsharpened pencils…or mechanical pencils if that’s how you roll. It’s also time to fill in the spreadsheet with data about who needs to be where and when along with what. And time to figure out a way to pay for it all. It's stressful for everyone. And for families that are already struggling, going back to school can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. On this episode of A Time to Sharpen, Brandon and I discuss ways to survive this difficult season and hopefully provide some perspective about it as well. Going back to school can be a teachable moment for us all. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

The Bible says that “whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.” Maybe that’s why we don’t take surly teenagers home from the hospital as new parents. Most of us get a few years to learn the ropes through sleep deprivation, and diaper changes, and playdates. We have few years to grow into the role of being responsible for another human being. God usually gives us something small to take care of before entrusting us with something big. At Whetstone Boys Ranch, this verse perfectly expresses our core values of responsibility and honesty. As boys demonstrate these character traits in small things like making their bed, grading their schoolwork, and taking baby steps in therapy, they earn the right to progress in the program. As a faith-based organization dependent on God’s providence, we have striven to put his grace to good work, praying that he will bless us with even more in the future.  So join Brandon and me for a little while, as we discuss the value of taking care of the small stuff. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

So we’ve established there is a time to quit. We have laid the groundwork of humility and wisdom that needs to prevail in those stressful moments of conflict with our teenagers. We know that maintaining the relationship is more important than winning every battle. But what’s next? What is our exit strategy? How do we drop the rope without abdicating our responsibilities as parents, teachers, and counselors? Can Chris Farley and David Spade in Tommy Boy provide us a roadmap for success? Spoiler Alert: the answer…is yes! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

“Winners never quit; and quitters never win.” Or so the old saying goes. But I think we can all admit that there is a time to reassess our situation. You might call it “charging in another direction”, or “changing gears,” or “hitting the reset button,” but whatever metaphor you choose, the fact remains that sticking with the original plan is sometimes the epitome of foolishness. The tricky thing is knowing when to quit. When have we moved from perseverance into stubbornness? Sometimes as parents, teachers, and counselors, we let our pride get the best of us. We dig in and plant our flag on some pretty insignificant mole hills that aren’t worth dying on. This two-part podcast of “A Time to Sharpen” addresses the issue of when it’s ok to quit. You can still be a winner if you do so wisely. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

Whetstone is a 6-12 program, meaning that most boys who graduate do so within that timeframe. We also have many boys who are here for far less time, who don’t graduate. Regardless, we try to keep in touch with all of them – whether through social media, phone calls, letters, texts, their parents, word of mouth, etc. Every boy who has spent a single day here is a part of our large and unorthodox family. We love them all, whether their time here was considered a “success” or not. But what kind of aftercare do we provide, someone might ask? How do you help families on their journey after Whetstone? Well, that’s very good question. And not one that we can answer in a sentence or two. So we did entire podcast on the subject. We should probably do another one as well. Maybe we’ll call that one after-aftercare? In any case, we’ll try our best this time around to answer some frequently asked questions about a very important topic. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

Three times a year at Whetstone Boys Ranch, in the Spring, Summer, and Fall, we take our boys on a week-long adventure in the Ozarks. It’s a lot of work to plan, order supplies, rearrange schedules, pack, and then travel hundreds of miles in a van with all of our equipment. But once we’re there, and we’ve set up camp, we remember that it’s always worth the effort. Lifelong memories are made. Relationships are born and strengthened. And God, well, He’s everywhere. All we had to do was show up. On this podcast, Brandon and I discuss Whetstone’s most recent adventure to Taum Sauk Mountain State Park, the highest point in the state of Missouri. So pull up a folding chair and pretend you’re sitting around the campfire with us. We promise not to blow too much smoke in your face. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

You’ve seen it on a bumper sticker. You’ve probably seen a meme or a gif. Maybe it’s popped up on a slide during a sermon on Sunday morning: “More Cowbell!” Just 2 words, but their impact is, dare I say, profound. One for the ages! Just in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last 20 years, it’s from a classic Saturday Night Live skit, starring the great Will Ferrell. I can’t even begin to describe how hilarious it is, so if you haven’t seen it recently, as in within the last 24 hours, do it now. Hit pause. Google “more cowbell” and watch what many critics call the funniest skit in the history of SNL. Then come back and listen to this podcast. What we say about working with troubled teens will make a lot more sense if you do. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support

Cowboys. We love’em. We hate’em. We love to hate’em; and then we hate the fact that we love’em. Maybe it’s best to say that America has a complicated relationship with cowboys. Whetstone Boys Ranch, even with its strong Western roots, is no different. We could argue about the reasons why and what these reasons tell us about ourselves, but one thing is for sure. Everyone seems to like Danny Glover’s portrayal of Joshua Deets in the television miniseries, Lonesome Dove. Rarely has a fictional character demonstrated such “splendid behavior,” to quote the book by Larry McMurtry and the film. But the more you think about Deets and what he represents, the more complicated he becomes. On this episode of A Time to Sharpen, we discuss Deets with Ty Lewis, our current agricultural director and a former house parent at Whetstone Boys Ranch. What can this iconic character tell us about how to work with struggling teenagers? And perhaps more importantly, what can he tell us about how to work with ourselves while we work with struggling teenagers? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/time-to-sharpen/support