For Sam, the topic of body image is a really complicated one; she talks about what it was like growing up in a Hmong family that valued thinness and pale skin—features which Sam did not have. She recalls how her father was ashamed of her and her “chunky” siblings, who were not considered beautiful or desirable. At the same time that Sam received messages about what a Hmong woman looks like, she was taught about how she should behave and there was an emphasis placed on being quiet, meek, and deferential to male authority. Sam’s political views are also very left-leaning, which is different from those of the men who imposed standards of Hmong beauty and behavior on her, and she talks about what it’s like to be constantly shut down by her community when it comes to ideas of racial and gender equality. For Sam, a conversation about her body is linked to the many ways in which her community has taught her to not only police her appearance, but control the way she feels, acts, and stands up for her certain social causes.

Mary Kimura opens up about identifying as the "chubby Asian girl" and how receiving comments from loved ones has impacted her body image and sense of self-esteem. Mary's story shows how even the people we care about may be unaware of the harm they inflict on our bodies and overall wellbeing. Although Mary has a bubbly and cheerful personality, her story reveals the complex struggles that lie beneath the surface and how deeply our feelings about our bodies run.

The second part of a series about Asian women and body image. Asian women don't often get to have deep conversations about how they feel about their bodies or what their bodies mean to them. These episodes contain discussions about how our bodies can make us feel more/less Asian, body neutrality/positivity, eating disorders, the messages we receive from our families about size, and how Asian women are learning to find self-love. The five women featured in this episode are: Saki Shibuya: 3:44-21:04Kailea Saplan: 21:06-33:35Anonymous: -33:37-48:50Ong Vang: 48:52-1:01:03Sinthia Shabnam: 1:01:05-1:15:22

As a play on the title, To All the Boys I've Loved Before, starring the wonderful Lana Condor, the next couple of episodes are dedicate to all the Asian women out there with a body. Often, we say, "Oh, she's got a body!" as a way of speaking about a woman who meets certain conventional ideas of body size and beauty. I don't think that these are the only women who "have a body." To all the Asian ladies out there, you have a body, it's beautiful, and we need to talk about them more. Guests: Mary Kimura: 5:50-19:33Sam Xiong: 19:36-31:05Su-Hwei Tan: 31:06-46:31Kat Liu: 46:32-53:49Linsun Simthong: 53:50-1:07:36

Lewis Raven-Wallace is a journalist who hosts the podcast, “The View from Somewhere” which interrogates the notion of objectivity and examines how it has kept people of color, queer folks, and trans people from having their experiences legitimated. Lewis is also a co-founder of Press On, a southern journalist collective that supports liberation and movement journalism, and we chatted about the changes that journalism needs to undertake to become a truly progressive and equitable institution. For Lewis, this might mean burning media down—but in like a “fuck you, this is the end of everything” kind of way. Instead, he poses the idea of burning down journalism as we know it so that we can create a journalism as we—and by “we,” Lewis means marginalized people and their allies—would like to see it.

Jennifer Ho is a professor of English at CU-Boulder who back in 2010 started a blog called “No Fucking Pink Ribbons!” that documented her experience with breast cancer. Jennifer shares what it was like having breast cancer and where she’s at now that it’s been 11 years since her diagnosis. Jennifer's blog posts (which were written as Jennifer went through chemo, surgeries, and recovery) are a sharp, vivid, and raw account of what it was like having cancer. However, during our interview, Jennifer seemed to speak about cancer as if were thumbing through an old photo album that we had unearthed. Indeed, Jennifer said that at this point in her life, she can go for days before ever remembering that she’d had cancer. What has stuck with her from this experience is an awareness of the fact that she has finite time on this planet and that she wants to live her life without pulling punches or thinking that she could have or should have done something. Jennifer’s interview offers some hope for anyone who is currently undergoing cancer treatments that this period of your life is finite; when you recover from cancer, the disease is not an unshakeable part of who you have to be.

Carl Riden tells her story of being diagnosed with and treated for breast cancer at the start of 2020. Carl shares the practical considerations of having cancer that we don’t normally talk about, as well as the emotional toll of having such a serious illness. At the heart of Carl’s story is how cancer emphasized some of the most excruciating and difficult parts of her life. Carl describes herself as a big person, physically and personality-wise. But, she also talks about feeling as if she has always been alone; she essentially raised herself and never had children of her own. At the time of her diagnosis, Carl was also going through a separation with her partner and she says that one of the most painful images that ran through her mind was returning to an empty home to deal with her illness by herself. During our interview, Carl recalled certain memories like spending time in trees as a young girl reading books; taking long walks on her own listening to podcasts, and she said that the freedom and independence of her life was in some ways exhausting. At this current point, Carl is thankfully cancer-free and is now considering how she wants to live her life in a way that gives back to her community, but also provides her with a sense of satisfaction and happiness. This is a bittersweet idea for Carl, because it comes with the notion that she has to make herself happy rather than fostering these feelings with a partner or loved ones.

Kailea Saplan shares her experiences playing roller derby in a league in Madison, Wisconsin. For Kailea, a self-described unathletic theater kid, participating in roller derby has built up her confidence and provided her with a community. As she describes, she plays with women and non-binary folks of all shapes and sizes, and players bond with each other over the intensity of the sport. However, while Kailea has found community in Madison’s roller derby league, her story is also about how our sense of belonging is on a spectrum. Kailea is bi-racial (Filipino and White) and from Hawaii—her roller derby name, Hawaii K-O is an homage to her heritage—and has to grapple with the Whiteness and Midwestern-ness of Wisconsin roller derby. These issues have become even more apparent over the last year as the country at large reckoned with its history of racism following the murders of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor. Kailea reveals how spaces that are comforting and supportive can simultaneously be isolating. This is a complicated topic--in fact, we did two interviews: Kailea asked to come back and clarify some of her comments, particularly about race and her bi-racial identity as a roller derby player, and you’ll hear both parts in this episode.

As a continuation of the Now Times, a series where I look at how people’s lives have been affected by the pandemic, and specifically how palliative care has been shaped by the pandemic, I interviewed Dr. Khaliah Johnson, a palliative care pediatrician.  Dr. Johnson talks about how the simultaneous challenges brought by COVID and racial tensions of this past year, particularly with police brutality and racialized violence, have shaped her work and the experiences of her patients. Over the last year, Dr. Johnson has realized that her patients and their families--who are already dealing with terminal illness--come in with a baseline level of suffering . For patients of color or those hit particularly hard by the pandemic, our social issues complicate their experiences in palliative care and Dr. Johnson has become more attuned to these nuances. She explains that this past year has reminded her that she and other healthcare providers must exercise their “moral imaginations” to truly understand and appreciate what patients are going through . This moral imagination helps Dr. Johnson walk alongside her patients in the hardest moments of their lives, helping families and children to realize that palliative care is not about pure suffering but that it gives and supports life, in all its permutations.

As a continuation of the Now Times, a series about people’s experiences during the pandemic, I spoke to Dr. Kim Curseen, a palliative care geriatrician who works in Atlanta, Georgia. All throughout the pandemic, death and illness have been a topic on people’s minds. We have also heard many media stories about the challenges facing doctors and nurses during the pandemic. However, I wanted to get a sense of how palliative care physicians—doctors who had already been dealing with the questions and complexities of death and end-of-life care before COVID-19 hit—were affected by the pandemic. Dr. Curseen talks about how the pandemic has shaped her work and how the pandemic (prior to my expectations of what she would say) has made healthcare workers and patients more connected than they were before as people have had to adapt to the uncertainties and problems of the last year. Dr. Curseen talked about how COVID has made her and her patients meet over Zoom while in their homes instead of in a clinic or her office, and it’s given both parties intimate looks into one another’s lives. This interview offers us a look at what we might take for granted—whether in our healthcare system or beyond it—and start to wonder if we could recalibrate or rework these systems for the better. Something that hasn’t changed in Dr. Curseen’s work though, is the fundamental nature of palliative care, which, as she says, is that “We stand there with you, through your suffering.”Follow the podcast @thisstorypod on Instagram

Kat Liu is an artist who describes her photography and videos as a way of exploring her identity as a Taiwanese-Chinese American woman, as well as themes of body image, cultural assimilation and fetishization. Kat's interview deals with many topics relating to Asian women and their bodies. These themes are intimately connected to the historical and contemporary violence inflicted upon Asian women. As Kat acknowledges in the interview, this violence can be explicit and lethal, such as in the case of the March 16 Atlanta spa shootings. However, violence can also be subtle, insidious. Kat shares her own experiences dealing with the sinister voyeurism of cyberstalkers who objectify and fetishize her, even as she tries to take ownership of her body through her artwork. Violence can take form in the comments we make about Asian women’s bodies, even when we have no intention of hurting them through our remarks. Kat’s story is also about how Asian women challenge this violence and demand that we be seen as so much more than sexual objects or pretty faces, all in the hope that the rest of the world will catch up with our humanity. To check out Kat's artwork: http://www.kat-liu.com/Support Asian American nonprofits and orgs: #Hate is a Virus: https://hateisavirus.org/Asian Americans Advancing Justice: https://www.advancingjustice-aajc.org/NCAAT (North Carolina Asian Americans Together): https://ncaatogether.org/SEAC (Southeast Asian Coalition): http://www.seacvillage.org/seac-street-food-festival-2017/website-builder/homeStop AAPI Hate: https://stopaapihate.org/Follow the podcast on Instagram @thisstorypod

Yong Ae Yue, Xiaojie Tan, Suncha Kim, Soon Chung Park, Hyun Jung Grant, Daoyou Feng, Delaina Ashley Yaun, Paul Andre Michels. Remember their names. Remember how they were killed. Remember the history of anti-Asian racism in this country, or the cycle of violence will never be broken. Support Asian American non-profits: #Hate is a Virus: https://hateisavirus.org/Asian Americans Advancing Justice: https://www.advancingjustice-aajc.org/NCAAT (North Carolina Asian Americans Together): https://ncaatogether.org/SEAC (Southeast Asian Coalition): http://www.seacvillage.org/seac-street-food-festival-2017/website-builder/homeStop AAPI Hate: Website currently down but in the mean time, check out https://caasf.org/stop-aapi-hate/

Jang Yoon tells his story of growing up as a closeted, gay Korean immigrant who, after coming to the U.S., was immersed in a Christian community—a go-to hub for a lot of Korean immigrants. Jang recalls how the church discouraged all kinds of sexuality, especially homosexuality. In some ways, Jang felt “relief” being part of a community that didn’t discuss sex—it meant he didn’t ever have to address why he wasn’t bringing home girlfriends or talking about being attracted to women. At the same time, it was agony for Jang to conceal his identity and not able to fully express who he is. However, as Jang grew up, encountered new experiences, and eventually moved to Durham where he found the House of Coxx—the drag house that another guest of the show, Stormie Daie (episode 2), is a part of—he started to live what he now calls “his best gay life.” Today, Jang is a part of the House of Coxx community and a budding drag queen who goes by the name, Li’l Dumpling and you can tell even in his tone of voice, that there is a difference in how Jang feels now that he has found his people and explored his sexuality. At the same time, Jang’s story reminds folks grappling with their sexuality that it’s ok to come out at your own pace; that even the agony of silence comes with certain kinds of relief. Follow Jang/Li'l Dumpling on Instagram (@qlildumpling) and Tiktok (@qlildumpling69)Instagram: @thisstorypod

As a continuation of The Now Times, a series where I look at how people’s lives have changed during the pandemic, I spoke with 13 year-old Harper Mooney who shares what it’s like being a kid during COVID-19. Like many of us, Harper’s life has changed significantly: her schooling is entirely online, person-to-person contact is limited to immediate family, and she was unable to visit her grandpa when he passed away in 2020. Alongside these challenges, Harper feels that the last year has also brought new phases of growth. Modern teenagers like Harper face pressure and expectations from all sorts of sources: friends, classmates, social media. For Harper, the pandemic has made her take a step back from these voices and she has determined—on her own terms—who she wants to be. Harper’s story is full of wisdom about reckoning with our flaws and strengths, and offers a lesson in how we can learn to be ok with ourselves. Follow the podcast on Instagram @thisstorypod

Alicia Best is one half of A Different Thread, a duo that draws its influence from Irish, English, Celtic, and Appalachian folk, country, and blues. Alicia is from North Carolina but she certainly isn’t rooted there. Alicia is a “musical nomad” who for years has made her living by backpacking from country to country playing music. In fact, she met Robert Jackson, the other half of A Different Thread while playing on the streets of Ireland, having just spent some time in Guatemala. Alicia’s life sounds charming and she loves what she does, but part of her story  comes with certain struggles, such as how you survive as a musical nomad when much of the world is shut down during the COVID-19 pandemic. Alicia also talks about the challenges she has faced a woman in the world of music, dealing with the misogyny and sexism in the industry. Today, she’s challenging this sexism through a project called the “Answer Song Anthology,” where she lends voice to the women who have long been sung about in Americana music but have never been given stories of their own. To check out the amazing music of A Different Thread, you can look them up on YouTube, Spotify, and they’re on Instagram and Twitter @ADiffThread, and I’ve included links to websites and Patreons: Website: http://www.adifferentthread.com/bioPatreon for the Answer Song Anthology: https://www.patreon.com/answersonganthologyPatreon for A Different Thread: https://www.patreon.com/adifferentthreadFollow the podcast on Instagram: thisstorypodQuestions, comments: thisstorypod@gmail.com

***PLEASE NOTE: This episode contains discussion of rape, molestation, and trauma. The topics of this podcast may be difficult for some audience members to listen to.*** Kae Withers tells a profound story of pain and adversity as she recounts her teenage years living in a neglectful, abusive household. Sold to men by her mother to feed a drug addiction, Kae had two children at a young age and spent much of her life in what she calls "survival mode," finding ways to take care of them without support. After years of struggle, Kae has found a safe home, a good job, and is surrounded by people who love her unconditionally. The challenge she faces now is how to transition out of survival mode and to let go of the intense sense of control that she maintained to keep her once chaotic life together. As she says in the interview, this is a scary thing to do: how do you let go of control when it was so essential for protecting yourself and your family, when it was something that saw Kae through the darkest period of her life? While Kae’s story is heart-wrenching, she hopes that by starting to let go of the tight grip she has had over her past and opening up about her trauma, that other people who are in similar situations can find meaning and healing from the story she shares. Follow the podcast on Instagram and Twitter @thisstorypodQuestions, comments can go to thisstorypod@gmail.com

H’Rina DeTroy is a Montagnard American writer and author of an award-winning essay, "The Vengeance of Elephants." Montagnards are the Indigenous people of Vietnam and though many Americans don’t know about this history, they were important allies to the U.S. during the Vietnam War. H’Rina’s writing captures the silences surrounding our knowledge of Montagnards, raising questions about whose story gets to be told and who has the authority to have their story heard.  H’Rina reflects on how silence about her community and its nuances impacted her own life as she navigated experiences like her mom's trauma from the war and the tensions within her home without guidance or a clear narrative. These encounters have shaped H’Rina’s writing and her desire to use literature as a way of searching for healing, truth, and identity. To learn more about H'Rina's work see the links below: Website: https://hjdetroy.wixsite.com/mysitePatreon: https://www.patreon.com/hrinadetroy?fan_landing=trueWorkshops: https://hjdetroy.wixsite.com/mysite/multi-verses-our-origin-storieshttps://hjdetroy.wixsite.com/mysite/workshop-apocalypse-never

As a continuation of "The Now Times," a series which looks at people's lives during the COVID-19 pandemic, I interviewed Dylan Pak and Bre Miranda Pak. Dylan and Bre talk about what it was like getting married and shifting all of their plans. Their story though, is about so much more than a pandemic wedding. Bre and Dylan have been together for over 11 years, since they were teenagers growing up in California. As teenagers, they were remarkably different from one another had to learn to appreciate how each one loves over time. They say that so many parts of their relationship didn’t go as they initially hoped: they had to move far apart from one another when they first started dating; Dylan's proposal plans nearly disintegrated. Bre remembers how their wedding day initially felt a little like a joke as it transformed from being a ceremony, to a simple document-signing that was ordained by an old college friend who both Bre and Dylan had initially turned down many times over when he asked to ordain their wedding. At the end of it all, Dylan and Bre say that though their wedding didn’t go as planned, it turned out in a way that was just right for the two of them. After all, their story is about the love that each one has for the other. Pandemic or not, wedding ceremony or not, that love continues to grow.

After falling in love with playing the violin as a child, Kelsey Milian and her family tried to find a way to continue her music education once her school's arts programs shut down. She shares her story of how she and her family became founding members of the Miami Music Project, a now-thriving community music program in Florida that. Kelsey’s story is about how important music has been throughout her life as she was a member of her college orchestra and post-graduation decided to enroll in an Ethnomusicology PhD program. At the heart of her story, right alongside the music, is how vital community has been for Kelsey. Kelsey names all of the people—her parents, her teachers, her friends, her mentors—who have supported her and helped her chase her dreams. Her story captures the fact that while each of our stories is our own, they also couldn’t happen without our loved ones and communities lifting us up and providing guidance. In the vein of the old saying “it takes a village to raise a child,” Kelsey conveys that it takes an orchestra to raise a violinist. Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thisstorypod/Follow the podcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/thisstorypodComments, questions, recommendations for guests: thisstorypod@gmail.com

Sean Fitzpatrick, a successful artist whose repertoire includes snow sculpting, sand sculpting, 3D chalk art and much more tells his story of how he became an artist after working in the auto industry for 20 years. Sean’s career change may seem abrupt, but he talks about how he always loved art. Sean’s dad was seriously ill for as long as he could remember before passing away when Sean was 17. From a young age, Sean would draw pictures to put a smile on his dad’s face. He says that his dad wouldn’t be surprised that Sean eventually came to be an artist. Sean’s story reflects a great deal of perseverance: he makes it clear that becoming an artist was no easy feat and that there’s no such thing as overnight success. It’s also a story of guts and Sean’s advice for people who are thinking about pursuing their passion is, “If you see a fork in the road, take it.” Check out Sean's business at: https://www.fitzysnowman.com/Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thisstorypod/Follow the podcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/thisstorypodComments, questions, recommendations for guests: thisstorypod@gmail.com