140. Replacing Fine with F*ck Off! with P.J. Roscoe

FINE is a 4-Letter Word

May 16 2024 • 45 mins

Children who are told to be “seen, but not heard” learn early on that their thoughts, feelings, and words don’t matter.

Then as adults, they continue to silence themselves even when they do speak by hiding and suppressing their true thoughts and feelings.

Growing up in a small Welsh village, P.J. Roscoe learned early on to know her place, don’t have an opinion, don’t question or challenge anything, and generally stay completely out of the way.

It was such a small village that as P.J. says, you could fart on one end of the village, and by the time you got home, everyone would know about it. The adults talked with each other about the children constantly, but the children were supposed to stay silent and contribute nothing.

Ironically, when P.J. and her family moved to another town where she felt more free to express herself, she felt out of place and wanted to go back.

Going away to college didn’t change much. She ended up in an abusive relationship that gave her no freedom, and in college she was told that she could not have certain jobs or career choices because she was a woman. She was studying to be a beauty health and sports therapist and dance instructor, but she really wanted to be an author. No, she was told, her grades weren’t good enough.

When she was eight months pregnant, P.J. went for her usual scan where they discovered the baby didn’t have a heartbeat. This tragedy became the catalyst for her to write her first novel, called “Echoes”.

So maybe things were going to be fine after all – but Fine is a 4-Letter Word.

P.J.’s next step was training to become a therapist. Her instructor gave her an assignment – for the next three years, instead of saying the word “fine” (or “okay”) when asked how she was doing or how her day was, she was to say “fuck off”.

Her instructor explained that when you say “fine” as the answer to questions like “how are you” or “how was dinner,” it disrespects the person asking because it shows them you reject their interest or concern for you. Similarly, P.J. should never accept “fine” or “okay” as the response when asking after someone else.

What should she do instead? How does changing the conversation lead to better communication as well as empower and honor both you and the other person? In what ways does this help us be both seen and heard?

In a moment, when you meet P.J., you’ll discover a new take on how Fine is a 4-Letter Word which could open new doors for you.

P.J.’s hype song is "Rain” by The Cult.

Resources:


P.J. is offering you a 10% discount on her 5-month program when you contact her and say “I heard you on Lori’s show, Fine is a 4-Letter Word”.

Invitation from Lori:

Now if, like P.J., you feel seen but not heard – like you’re existing in a reality dictated by somebody else and you’ve no say in the matter, the 5 Easy Ways to Start Living The Sabbatical Life guide can help you find your own voice.

Once you...

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