How To Be Assertive, Not Aggressive

The Personal Excellence Podcast

Jul 10 2016 • 34 mins

Have you ever had moments when you wished you spoke up and asserted yourself, but you didn't? Do you feel difficulty asserting yourself sometimes? I feel this way too sometimes. In this episode of The Personal Excellence Podcast, learn 5 tips to build your courage to be assertive without being aggressive Why being assertive doesn't mean you stop being nice [02:21] Why being assertive is not the same as being aggressive [03:21] 2 key differences between being assertiveness and aggressiveness [4:08] The value of your voice [04:56] An incident where I got molested and didn't assert myself, and why I should have [05:54] 3 questions to ask yourself in determining whether to assert yourself [10:49] An alternate approach for people who assert too much [11:38] Why you shouldn't just "wait" when it comes to high-level career questions like promotion plan and salary rise [12:19] Dealing with a parent who keeps pushing their views on you [13:45] The face-saving culture and being sensitive to people's feelings when asserting [15:39] What I do when I have disruptive course participants [16:42] Using I-statements vs. You-statements [18:20] 3 differences between I-statements and You-statements, and why I-statements are better when it comes to asserting yourself or in conflicts [19:36] Example of I-statements in a conflict with your partner [22:00] Focus on the positive in conversations [23:52] How to talk to your boss if you're facing heavy workload [24:59] How to assert to a difficult co-worker [26:09] The importance of win-win and how to involve others [28:18] Listen to the podcast via my online player, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, TuneIn, Amazon Music, or subscribe directly to my RSS feed. The Personal Excellence PodcastShow Menu Podcast Subscription Menu Listen on iTunesListen on SpotifyListen on GoogleListen on TuneInListen on CastboxListen on PocketCastsListen on OvercastSubscribe via RSSHow To Be Assertive, Not AggressiveShow Podcast Information If you've found The Personal Excellence Podcast useful, I'd really appreciate it if you can leave an honest rating and review on iTunes. Your review makes a difference and will help spread the message of conscious living to the world. Thank you! How To Be Assertive, Not Aggressive [Transcript] Welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast. The show that's all about helping you be your best self and live your best life. Now, your host, Celestine Chua! Celestine Chua: Hey everyone, welcome to The Personal Excellence Podcast Episode 9, this is Celestine Chua from PersonalExcellence.co. Today we have a question from reader Saim, who wants to know, how can you be more assertive and stay humble and polite at the same time? So let's hear from him first. Hi Celes, this is Saim from Pakistan. For the last 6 years, I've been working in Saudi Arabia in a multinational company. Some of my friends recommended me the Personal Excellence website and shared with me some free ebooks from PE. And then I logged on to the website, and I've been reading your articles, courses, so much stuff for the last 6 months. It's really quite interesting and I really appreciate that. It has been helping me excel in my job. The question I want to ask is, 'How to be assertive?' As a person, I'm humble and polite. But there are many situations in the workplace where we need to be assertive instead of being aggressive. I want to know and would appreciate if you can answer through the podcast in details on how to be assertive and techniques to do so. Hey Saim, thank you so much for your question. Unfortunately, the question got cut off because there is an audio limit for the clips. The good thing is we got to hear your question: How can you be assertive while still remaining humble and polite at the same time? So firstly, I just want to thank you for reading PE. And I want to thank your friends for recommending PE to you.