Being Well with Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson explore the practical science of lasting well-being, and teach you how to build reliable inner strengths, overcome your challenges, and get the most out of life. New conversations every Monday.

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How to Effectively Communicate What You Want
Yesterday
How to Effectively Communicate What You Want
On the previous episode of Being Well, we talked about how to identify our wants and needs...but identifying our needs is just the first step. After that comes the tricky business of coming to terms with those needs, and communicating them effectively to other people.In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore best practices for claiming and expressing our needs. This includes how to navigate shame and inhibition, make effective agreements, be considerate of the person on the receiving end of our wants, and become more skillful at negotiation and repair. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:05: Getting real about meeting our needs.7:10: Suppressing needs due to self-worth challenges8:35: Patience, making your offering, and tipping points11:45: Inhibition, and negotiating our needs with other people15:50: Non-Violent Communication and “Wise Speech” models26:30: The need for multiple cycles of communication28:20: Expecting defeat, and two big moments of pain32:10: Keeping agreements37:45: Confidence in the ability to repair39:35: Considering the person on the receiving end of your communication43:00: Generosity45:15: Questions to ask when feeling uncertain about how to express a need49:30: Death by a thousand cuts, and facing discomfort52:10: Asking others, “What else do you want from me?”54:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Listen to Season 2 of Turning Points from Boston Globe Media wherever you get your podcasts!Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
How to Effectively Communicate What You Want
Yesterday
How to Effectively Communicate What You Want
On the previous episode of Being Well, we talked about how to identify our wants and needs...but identifying our needs is just the first step. After that comes the tricky business of coming to terms with those needs, and communicating them effectively to other people.In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore best practices for claiming and expressing our needs. This includes how to navigate shame and inhibition, make effective agreements, be considerate of the person on the receiving end of our wants, and become more skillful at negotiation and repair. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:05: Getting real about meeting our needs.7:10: Suppressing needs due to self-worth challenges8:35: Patience, making your offering, and tipping points11:45: Inhibition, and negotiating our needs with other people15:50: Non-Violent Communication and “Wise Speech” models26:30: The need for multiple cycles of communication28:20: Expecting defeat, and two big moments of pain32:10: Keeping agreements37:45: Confidence in the ability to repair39:35: Considering the person on the receiving end of your communication43:00: Generosity45:15: Questions to ask when feeling uncertain about how to express a need49:30: Death by a thousand cuts, and facing discomfort52:10: Asking others, “What else do you want from me?”54:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Listen to Season 2 of Turning Points from Boston Globe Media wherever you get your podcasts!Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Discovering Your Wants and Needs
Sep 19 2022
Discovering Your Wants and Needs
Everyone has needs, but many people find it difficult to identify what authentically matters to them. Even when we can identify them, shame or fear often stops us from expressing those needs to others or taking the practical steps that would help us achieve them.Meeting our needs is a major source of well-being, and people who can identify their needs are more likely to get them met. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on how to look inside, and figure out what you really need. They discuss different frameworks for categorizing our needs, what to do when we are confused by our desires, and how to get in touch with what you really want.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:05: Common features among people who struggle to name their desires7:05: Three basic steps to relate to wants and needs8:00: Different frameworks for categorizing wants and needs21:00: What helped Rick get in touch with his own wants and needs?28:00: An experiential exercise35:10: Why addressing your needs and wants is not just naval gazing38:40: Forrest’s suggestions based on his own experience45:25: What to do when what we want is probably not best for us51:40: Creating a personal manifesto54:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Listen to Season 2 of Turning Points from Boston Globe Media wherever you get your podcasts!Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Healing Trauma in a Toxic Culture with Dr. Gabor Maté
Sep 12 2022
Healing Trauma in a Toxic Culture with Dr. Gabor Maté
Renowned physician Dr. Gabor Maté joins Rick and Forrest to explore the many problems for our bodies and minds that arise out of our modern culture, and what we can do to meet our needs, heal ourselves, and become more whole. They discuss our increasing separation from one another, issues with aspects of the medical model, the true nature of addiction, the developmental needs of children, the myth of “normal,” and recovering from traumatic experiences.About Our Guest: Dr. Gabor Maté is one of the world’s leading experts on trauma, addiction, and childhood development. His work has had an enormous impact on how we understand the interactions between our internal world and the world around us, and he is the bestselling author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, Scattered Minds, and his newest book The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:55: What Gabor means by a toxic culture4:25: Interpersonal biology - our physiology is modulated by our relationships7:10: What components are needed for a healthy culture?11:55: Examples of toxic culture’s impact on people’s behavior15:20: Addiction21:00: How and when to distinguish degrees of trauma27:05: Where and when to express healthy anger33:10: How turning against the self manifests as illness 36:45: What supports people in returning to their authentic nature?40:00: Psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, and creating a sacred context41:45: Grief, integration, and letting go44:55: Gabor’s relationship with his children48:25: Five kinds of compassion, disillusionment, and truth51:20: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?53:25: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Understanding, Recognizing, and Dealing with Narcissists with Dr. Craig Malkin
Sep 5 2022
Understanding, Recognizing, and Dealing with Narcissists with Dr. Craig Malkin
We all have narcissistic traits. Having some sense of our own specialness isn’t just normal, it’s actually psychologically healthy. The problems start when people go beyond normal levels, and become addicted to feeling special. On this episode, Forrest is joined by Dr. Craig Malkin to explore narcissism and narcissistic traits. They talk about the different forms narcissism takes, the difference between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), red flags, dealing with narcissists, treatment options, and finding the “right amount” of feeling special.About our Guest: Dr. Malkin is a Lecturer in Psychology for Harvard Medical School, a licensed psychologist with several decades of clinical experience, and the author of Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists. He also has a great YouTube channel. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:35: Narcissism as a pervasive universal trait4:10: What differentiates healthy narcissism vs. disordered narcissism?5:45: “Triple E” - exploitation, entitlement, empathy impairments6:45: Incapable of empathy, or unmotivated?9:10: What distinguishes having narcissistic traits from having NPD?13:05: Extraverted, covert, and communal narcissism23:10: Healthy and unhealthy narcissistic traits often go together25:20: Insecure attachment28:30: Emotional hot potato32:10: Social and cultural power dynamics 36:25: What does healing narcissism look like?42:55: What modalities do you use in therapy?45:20: Difficult relationships, communal activation, empathy prompts50:35: Extinction bursts and using anxiety responses in therapy53:25: How do you repair with your partner? 57:05: RecapGrief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join me August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with loss, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off the registration price.Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Dealing with Difficult Emotions with Mollie West Duffy
Aug 29 2022
Dealing with Difficult Emotions with Mollie West Duffy
We all experience big, difficult feelings, from common emotions like uncertainty, anger, despair, and regret, to difficult experiences like the pains of comparison, burnout, and perfectionism. On today’s episode of Being Well Podcast, Forrest is joined by the wonderful author, coach, and content creator Mollie West Duffy to explore how we can accept those big feelings, learn to live alongside them, and develop tools that help us deal with them more effectively.About Our Guest: Mollie is an expert in organizational design, development, and leadership who has helped advise and coach executives and founders at companies including Google, Casper, and LinkedIn. She’s the co-author of the bestselling book No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work, and the recently released Big Feelings: How To Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay, and is also one half of the Instagram account, @lizandmollie. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:30: Why is Mollie’s new book called Big Feelings?5:10: The useful flip side6:45: How Mollie’s relationship to anger changed during the creation of this book9:20: Difficult emotions as a resource and source of regulation11:30: Unhelpful myths in how to deal with difficult emotions16:45: Healthy responses to those myths21:10: Vulnerability25:50: Emotional granularity27:05: Lengthening the time between trigger and response30:05: Processing anxiety35:25: How to relax the desire for control41:45: Medication44:10: Anxiety doesn’t accurately reflect risk46:40: Burnout - even around things you enjoy55:25: Comparing our suffering with others57:05: Comparing our accomplishments with others1:01:35: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
How to Use Your Diagnosis (Without It Using You)
Aug 22 2022
How to Use Your Diagnosis (Without It Using You)
Receiving a diagnosis can be emotionally challenging, and leave a person with a lot of understandable questions: What does this mean? What do I do now? How do I relate to this?On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore what a diagnosis is, how the diagnostic process works, the limitations of diagnosing someone, dealing with the emotions that come up, and how we can better think about and relate to receiving a diagnosis. Throughout the conversation they focus on how we can come to understand ourselves better, and be liberated by that understanding rather than burdened by it.ADHD is used a number of times during this conversation as an example, so if you have an ADHD diagnosis this episode could be particularly interesting.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:55: What is a diagnosis, and what is the process used to give a diagnosis?6:50: What is the purpose of diagnosing someone?8:50: Situating what defines pathology within our evolutionary and cultural context11:40: Origins of mental health conditions, social environment, and privilege14:40: How diagnosis done, and differentiating between different diagnoses25:05: More discussion on environmental and cultural effects31:10: Three subtypes of ADHD33:00: The emotional complexity of receiving a diagnosis42:30: What helps people in working through the emotions that come up?46:35: Paying attention to your emotional experience as much as solving your problem.49:35: Mental health awareness, resources, and support from others51:00: Rick’s response when someone is given a diagnosis58:50: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy with Dr. Albert Garcia Romeu
Aug 15 2022
Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy with Dr. Albert Garcia Romeu
There’s been an explosion of interest in psychedelics over the last 10 years, and phrases like “psychedelic-assisted therapy” have gone from the relative fringes of the mental health conversation to bursting into the mainstream. Alongside a great deal of hype is a growing body of research revealing the potential of substances like psilocybin and MDMA as novel treatments for depression, addiction, and PTSD. On today’s episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by Dr. Albert Garcia-Romeu from the Johns Hopkins Center for Psychedelic and Consciousness Research. They explore the history and current state of psychedelic research, their subjective effects, the necessity of the “trip,” how psychedelics work in the brain, why researchers are so interested in these substances, and what a psychedelic-assisted therapy session looks like.About Our Guest: Dr. Garcia-Romeu is a member of the Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences faculty at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. His research examines the effects of psychedelics in humans, with a focus on psilocybin as an aid in the treatment of addiction.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:55: Dr. Garcia-Romeu’s background3:00: What substances have been the focus of research?8:10: The history of psychedelics11:15: Usefulness and subjective effects of classical psychedelics (LSD/Psilocybin)17:35: Ego loss or “ego-death” and the role of spirituality in mental health21:40: What is happening neurologically with Psilocybin? 27:55: Psychedelics may be the best current treatment option for some conditions35:05: How close is the research to proving efficacy?38:05: The relative safety of psychedelics41:00: What does a psychedelic-assisted therapy session look like?47:00: Self-guidance in a session49:50: Duration of treatment, financial and legal access54:00: Using psychedelics for personal growth, spiritual practice, and even recreation58:00: Where is the field going?59:25: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Relating to Death, and Living a Better Life
Aug 8 2022
Relating to Death, and Living a Better Life
The median life expectancy for a man living in the United States is roughly 80 years. That works out to 960 months, 4,160 weeks, or about 29,000 days. Rick is sneaking up on 70 years old, which means, on average, he's got about 10 years – or 520 weeks – left. Putting the time we have left into simple numbers can be both a bit daunting and remarkably clarifying. When you're in the middle of them, the days can blur together. But the truth is that our time’s limited, and how we use it is up to us. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk about what's helped them come to terms with mortality, the reality of our limited time, and how we can use that knowledge to refine our focus and live a more fulfilling life.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction4:00: How Rick’s relationship with death has changed over time11:05: Appreciating life as a comfort in accepting death14:00: Dukkah, Tanha, and contentment16:30: Distinguishing the ocean (reality) from the wave (ego)21:20: Acceptance, contraction, and expansion25:35: Finite experiences, and undelivered communications31:30: “Life is for the living”33:10: Giving, contribution, contentment, and fulfillment40:05: What to do about regret?47:40: Serenity in old age49:00: Practical ways to hold awareness of death55:05: Recap Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join me August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with loss, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off the registration price.Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors:Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Changing Your Relationship to Shame
Aug 1 2022
Changing Your Relationship to Shame
Shame is one of the most complex and difficult emotions we experience on a regular basis, and one that can have seriously negative impacts on our sense of self-worth and ability to experience healthy connection with others.On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson take a deep dive into what shame is, how it develops, and what distinguishes it from guilt and other related emotions. They then focus on questioning our assumptions about shame, which can help us identify where it comes from. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:40: The biological roots of shame4:00: Shame's ties to our assumptions about the world 7:00: Impropriety, and shame as a psychological stage of development9:55: Distinguishing shame from guilt14:00: Unnecessary shame, healthy remorse, and your own integrity system21:55: Who decides what being good looks like?25:40: Morality in the service of power32:20: What helps us work with experiences of shame38:25: Isolation and the value of sharing with others in some way43:50: Working with your shame story49:00: Shame, group belonging, and personal change51:25: Recap Rick's Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join Rick August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with them, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BeingWell50 at checkout for an additional $50 off the registration price.Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
The Grieving Brain with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor
Jul 25 2022
The Grieving Brain with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor
There’s a lot of loss in the world these days, both in our individual lives and in our broader communities, and with those losses comes grief. Grief is one of the most challenging emotions to be with, and it can be difficult to offer generalized advice because everyone's experience of grief is profoundly unique. On today’s episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by one of the world’s leading researchers on grief, Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor, to help us better understand grief and grieving. They explore why grief is such a unique and intense emotion, how grief works in the brain, the problems with generalized models like the “five stages of grief,” and how we can learn to live with loss.About Our Guest: Mary-Frances is a neuroscientist, clinical psychologist, and associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. She’s also the author of the wonderful book The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction and disclaimer3:35: Mary-Frances’ personal background6:55: Distinguishing grief from grieving9:20: Self-criticism, and the over-focus on recovery11:20: Grief isn't "something to get over"13:00: Attachment, and our neurological map16:00: Prediction error19:30: Complicated grief25:00: Spiritual practice, or having a worldview that incorporates death28:05: Is there a ‘normal’ grieving process?35:25: Pathology, and normal human experiences46:00: Neurological overview of grief in the brain50:40: The Dual Process Model of Grief54:10: Sometimes distraction is okay56:15: Therapeutic practices and learning from grief1:01:00: Grief and its relationship to love1:03:40: Recap Rick's Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join Rick August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with them, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off the registration price.Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Borderline Personality Tendencies: Regulation, Nurturance, and Compassion
Jul 18 2022
Borderline Personality Tendencies: Regulation, Nurturance, and Compassion
One of the most important and challenging skills we can develop is learning to regulate our strong emotions. While it’s very natural to have fluctuations in how we feel about others and ourselves, for some people these ups and downs are particularly intense. At clinical levels, this is known as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). BPD is characterized by a pattern of instability in a person’s emotions, moods, behavior, self-image, and relationships. BPD is fairly common, and it's even more common for "borderline-y tendencies" to  show up in our lives. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore what to do when these tendencies show up, how to cultivate a healthy balance of sensitivity and tolerance to distress, regulating and nurturing ourselves, and how to navigate relationships with others when they exhibit borderline tendencies.As a disclaimer, formal diagnosis of any condition should be done with a medical professional working directly with the person in question. This podcast episode is not a substitute for that.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:00: What are "borderline tendencies"?6:50: 9 Symptoms of BPD9:10: The what, why, and how of mental health11:25: Childhood influences on borderline tendencies15:05: Instability, impulsivity, and the drive for reassurance25:00: Recognizing varying degrees of borderline patterns27:00: Practical tips–regulation and nurturance32:50: Boundaries, and avoiding spiraling37:50: Acceptance, and the desire for change40:35: Sensitivity and distress tolerance45:00: What to do when you notice borderline tendencies in a relationship51:00: Recognizing how much someone's nature is going to change53:35: Treatability54:50: RecapRick's Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join Rick August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with them, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BeingWell50 at checkout for an additional $50 off the registration price.Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
How to Make Learning STICK
Jul 11 2022
How to Make Learning STICK
One of the most important skills we can develop is learning how to learn–how to update old beliefs about ourselves, take in new information, and build psychological resources like courage, gratitude, and confidence. We have experiences from which we could potentially learn all the time, but how often are we able to actually implement lasting change from our positive experiences?On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson dive into Rick’s recently published study on our capacity for deliberate growth. We talk a bit about the neurological components of learning, how the study worked, and what the practical takeaways are to help us make learning stick.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Positive Neuroplasticity Training:  Learn how to change your brain for the better in the 6-part course from Rick his study was based on!  Use code BEWELL50 for $50 off the purchase price.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:55: The focus of Rick’s recently published study on how to learn4:35: Our capacity for deliberate growth7:30: How does learning work in the brain?11:25: Activation and installation16:00: Acknowledging the difficulty of deliberate change16:55: The HEAL framework22:15: How Rick’s study results were measured30:05: The results of the study39:10: Possibilities for future studies42:00: Little moments of recognition44:05: Takeaways45:50: Assessing the whole notion of statistical significance51:05: Control groups and clusters54:05: Rick reads the final statement from the study.56:05: Recap  Wednesday Meditation Group: Join Rick for his freely offered online weekly meditation, talk, and discussion.Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors:Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Rediscovering Your True Self: Parentification and the "Gifted Child"
Jul 4 2022
Rediscovering Your True Self: Parentification and the "Gifted Child"
When a child is particularly emotionally intelligent, and a parent is particularly emotionally vulnerable, an inversion of the typical relationship can occur where the child devotes themselves to meeting the parent’s needs rather than the other way around. This can lead the child to lose touch with their own wants and needs – with their authentic self – which then leads to underlying feelings of worthlessness, uncertainty, and self-alienation in adulthood.Extreme versions of this pattern are known as parentification, but mild to moderate versions are surprisingly common. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore how we can heal from the effects of these difficult early experiences and rediscover who we truly are. This material was completely eye-opening for me, and it’s one of my favorite episodes we've ever produced.Want to learn more? Check out Alice Miller’s classic book The Drama of the Gifted Child.Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:55: Distinction between parentification and the gifted child5:05: Serving a psychological function - what is the “gift” we’re talking about?7:50: Self-definition vs. defining yourself through relationship10:30: Examples of generational patterns16:45: Accumulation of subtle forms of parentification over time21:55: Patterns of interaction, and differentiation24:00: Summary of material so far27:00: “The manic defense against depression”30:30: What can people do?35:00: Love, aspiration, and power in parenting styles40:20: Creating a coherent (and balanced) narrative43:30: Seductive narratives, grief not shame, claiming your nature51:25: What emotions were you permitted?53:35: RecapWednesday Meditation Group: Join Rick for his freely offered online weekly meditation, talk, and discussion.Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Connecting with Your Best Parts
Jun 27 2022
Connecting with Your Best Parts
A little while ago, we had an episode on self-awareness where Rick emphasized how the majority of what people have to become self-aware of is the good inside themselves. The point felt significant enough to expand into a full episode about how to connect with our best parts.On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on how to accept, appreciate, and connect with our positive aspects, and how to deal with some of the developmental blocks that prevent us from embracing the good in ourselves. We look at how the culture we’re in affects our perspective, how to manage fears of conceit, and how to experience more intimacy and courage by releasing cynicism.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction3:20: What gets in the way of us hearing the good news about ourselves?5:40: Stories we’re told about ourselves that form our identity10:45: Reconnecting with childhood positive qualities17:10: Intentions, talents, efforts23:25: Avoiding conceit and the fear of sounding conceited30:40: Releasing ideas that human nature is fundamentally bad34:25: Tribalism36:35: Seeing the cultural water we swim in41:15: Intimacy, cynicism, courage46:40: Cherishing ourselves and others47:35: Recap Wednesday Meditation Group: Join Rick for his freely offered online weekly meditation, talk, and discussion.Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors:Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Recovering from Complex PTSD with Elizabeth Ferreira
Jun 20 2022
Recovering from Complex PTSD with Elizabeth Ferreira
Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) is the result of the slow accumulation of many small traumatic experiences over time. On our most popular Being Well episode to date, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explored the details of CPTSD with Pete Walker, and on today’s episode, Forrest is joined by his partner Elizabeth Ferreira to discuss the topic through a more personal lens. Elizabeth shares her CPTSD origin story, what CPTSD feels like, and how to create a compassionate environment with or without a therapist so you can safely process grief, experience out repressed emotions, and learn to express your needs.Check out Elizabeth's NEW PODCAST!About our Guest: Elizabeth is a recent graduate of the Somatic Psychology program at the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS), and is currently earning hours toward her MFT license. She creates content on YouTube and Instagram focused on CPTSD, PMDD, and becoming a more whole version of who you are.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:15: Elizabeth’s story5:20: Trauma in the broader family system8:40: A “normal” story11:50: Loneliness, and the parts of us we leave behind15:00: Repressed emotions17:10: Adverse childhood experiences20:35: Stepping out of adverse environments25:15: Trauma work as grief work29:10: Symptoms of Complex PTSD34:50: How do you need to be comforted?37:30: Creating the sense of safety40:30: Somatic interventions45:30: Being witnessed47:10: Claiming your needs50:10: Facing the dreaded experience53:50: Accuracy vs. sensitivity57:05: Hidden parts1:00:00: Start by joining1:04:20: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Try Splendid Spoon today and take meal-planning off your plate. Just go to SplendidSpoon.com/BEINGWELL for $50 off your first boxReady to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Attachment, and Cultivating Nonattachment
Jun 13 2022
Attachment, and Cultivating Nonattachment
You might have heard the line “attachment is the root of suffering.” It comes from the Buddha, but you don’t have to be a Buddhist to recognize that becoming overly attached to a particular outcome, person, or view of yourself can lead to a lot of suffering. At the same time, there are clearly things that are sensible to be attached to – like our loved ones, a basic moral compass, and fundamentals like food and shelter. So, what’s the problem with attachment?On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss the problem with attachment, what differentiates healthy and unhealthy forms of attachment, and what we can do to relax attachment over time.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:10: Learning from Buddhism without trying to be a Buddhist8:45: Two kinds of suffering12:00: Distinguishing healthy desire and unhealthy desire19:40: Markers of problematic attachments24:10: Self-concept, and an example from Forrest of relaxing attachment 30:25: Balancing "Right View" and nonattachment42:25: Pain and release50:55: What’s useful for you?55:45: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Try Splendid Spoon today and take meal-planning off your plate. Just go to SplendidSpoon.com/BEINGWELL for $50 off your first boxReady to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Intimacy, Individuality, and Breaking the Trauma Cycle with Terry Real
Jun 6 2022
Intimacy, Individuality, and Breaking the Trauma Cycle with Terry Real
On one of our favorite episodes of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson are joined by author and therapist Terry Real to talk about how to overcome the myth of toxic individualism, break trauma cycles, and experience real intimacy in our relationships. They discuss how to balance acceptance and agency, develop a healthy sense of trust and self-esteem, communicate what we want effectively, and experience our power through collaboration rather than dominance. Terry describes how we can move past the delusions of toxic individualism and patriarchy that plague our culture, moving away from ‘me vs. you’ and into Us.About our Guest: Terrence Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and bestselling author. He is the founder of the Relational Life Institute, which offers workshops for couples as well as professional training for clinicians in his Relational Life Therapy (RLT) methodology. His latest book is Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship which comes out June 7th.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:45: Terry’s personal transformation4:55: Regulating up to our parents7:05: The Adaptive Child vs. the Wise Adult14:25: Us vs. the delusions of individualism and patriarchy18:05: Balancing acceptance and agency22:45: Enlightened self-interest and working with couples29:25: Three phases to get more of what you want in relationships without a counselor33:35: How to support people–particularly women–in dealing with unfairness37:15: Gendered tendencies–moving into intimacy and out of patriarchy43:20: Shame and healthy self-esteem49:40: Relational reckoning and relational integrity56:55: Repairing trust and grandiosity1:01:00: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Try Splendid Spoon today and take meal-planning off your plate. Just go to SplendidSpoon.com/BEINGWELL for $50 off your first boxReady to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Overcoming Comparison and Accepting Ordinary with Dr. Ron Siegel
May 30 2022
Overcoming Comparison and Accepting Ordinary with Dr. Ron Siegel
When was the last time you went through a day without comparing yourself to anyone? For instance, by comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel on social media, or being critical of your own willpower and abilities? Avoiding these mental traps can be difficult in a culture that emphasizes the importance of being 'special.'Of course, we are all special – and all ordinary. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson are joined by psychologist and author Dr. Ronald Siegel to discuss why that might not be such a bad thing. They discuss how to drop the myth of the extraordinary, how to heal from feelings of inadequacy, and what healthy self-esteem looks like.About our Guest: Dr. Siegel is Assistant Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, international speaker on the topics of mindfulness and compassion, and author of several books including his latest, The Extraordinary Gift of Being Ordinary: Finding Happiness Right Where You Are.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:50: What prompted Ron’s inquiry into being ordinary7:00: Cultural and evolutionary factors12:55: Fluctuations in self-esteem based on success and failure16:40: Social connection as antidote18:35: What being ordinary looks like20:45: Three ways to drop the myth of the extraordinary31:35: Rick’s path to healing his own feelings of inadequacy38:55: Predispositions to having a sense of worth and value44:40: Love vs. ‘specialness’48:40: Reaping the benefits of self-esteem without getting caught in its traps56:10: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Try Splendid Spoon today and take meal-planning off your plate. Just go to SplendidSpoon.com/BEINGWELL for $50 off your first box.Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Working with Anger: Costs and Benefits, Repression, and the "Empty Boat"
May 23 2022
Working with Anger: Costs and Benefits, Repression, and the "Empty Boat"
Anger is one of the most complex, demanding, and difficult emotions we deal with on a regular basis, in part because it has both many costs and many uses. It burdens our bodies, relationships, and the world around us. And at the same time, there is a vital energy associated with anger that is extremely powerful and, when harnessed effectively, quite useful.On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore the varied ways anger surfaces, how we can relate to it, and how in recognizing what it has to tell us we can channel its energy towards good ends.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:10: Framing anger relative to other emotions6:15: The three poisons12:20: Useful aspects of anger and issues with labeling it as bad22:45: Repression and not downregulating others’ emotions28:30: Treating anger with respect rather than fear30:15: What supports us in healthily claiming anger?38:00: Characteristics that can predispose people to be angry39:40: The Empty Boat and recognizing anger as an affliction against onesself43:10: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Have a question for us? Email: contact@beingwellpodcast.com to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.Sponsors:Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Try Splendid Spoon today and take meal-planning off your plate. Just go to SplendidSpoon.com/BEINGWELL for $50 off your first boxConnect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
Increasing Self-Awareness: The Key to Personal Growth
May 16 2022
Increasing Self-Awareness: The Key to Personal Growth
Self-awareness is both one of the most important skills for a person to have, and one of the most challenging to develop. In this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore what it takes to increase self-awareness over time, the different forms of awareness that come into play, and why maintaining self-awareness can be such a struggle. Rick then emphasizes how we can develop a greater awareness of the positive aspects of ourselves. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:45: Rick’s observations of people’s self-awareness when beginning therapy 6:10: Distinguishing internal and external self-awareness7:40: Different types of internal self-awareness12:20: Why is it hard to become self-aware?18:45: Positive discoveries and Forrest’s personal experience29:05: The natural movement toward health and sanity33:35: What causes us to lose touch with positive aspects of our nature?42:45: How can we cultivate more self-awareness over time?49:45: Questions to ask yourself54:50: A creative exercise for mapping out parts of yourself58:10: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Have a question for us? Email: contact@beingwellpodcast.com to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.Sponsors:Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Try Splendid Spoon today and take meal-planning off your plate. Just go to SplendidSpoon.com/BEINGWELL for $50 off your first boxDiscover your full genetic potential by uploading your existing DNA test results at genomelink.io. No trial period, no credit card, and no hidden fees!Connect with the show:Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website