May 27 2022
S2E3 - Qualitron: The Musical
Qualitron: The Musical
Cast & Crew
Amy Bezemer - Background Vocals\Diva Epicness
Sally Bezemer - Rock Solid Johnson, Chorus
Bennett Campbell Ferguson - Hitchcock
Joel Hodges - The Hodges, Piano
Gabriel O'Rourke - Shit Hot Licks
Josh O'Rourke - The Hodges Video Camera, Chet Walker, Acoustic Guitar & stuff
Marq Talmadge - Nick
Robert Predosa appears as himself
Director Notes
Qualitron: The Musical is a labor of love and toxic nostalgia. This song wouldn't be possible without the contributions and "OK, I have no idea what that means, fuck it, I'm in" mentality of everyone involved. Luckily they all understood the absolute absurdity of trying to capture something so absolutely absurd.
This song started out as a demo recorded on a phone last year and escalated into something much more. And while the song wasn't finished until the last possible moment, this Wednesday (5\25), it was never a chore. It was recorded using an old computer microphone and acoustic guitar, just like Cats or Les Misérabl probably.
Special thanks to Robert Predosa, who had no idea he was going to be a part of THIS project and still said "yes, I'll say something that makes no sense."
Lyrics
Qualitron baby
Makes me want to take my shirt off and dance
Qualitron baby
Makes me want to put on some pants
Qualitron baby
Makes me want to take my shirt off (and dance)
Qualitron baby
Make me want to pony prance
ACT ONE
Hitchcock:
Ladies and gentleman, My name is Hitchcock
I can tell by the cut of your jib, you’re not ready to rock
You seem like a D- student, you need to pay attention
What a good looking class, something I’m told I shouldn’t mention
I expect you to work hard, I expect your hands to blister
My friend’s call me Rob, but you can call me mister
Your assignment is clear, create a work of art
Make sure to keep your shirts on, make sure you pour out your heart (like me!!!)
--
Qualitron Chorus
--
Chet Walker:
My name is Chet walker
I’m here to start
I’ve got a friendly tractor
An even friendly heart
And I’m thinking 'bout quality ('merica!)
Improve those grades and then you’ll see ('merica!)
How easy it is for you to receive ('merica!)
A special little gift from your friends at Kashi ('merica!)
--
Let’s get ourselves a video camera
I hear the Hodges bought a new one
Let’s call em up, see what they say
It’s our only hope, it's the only way
Hey The Hodges, I was wondering if we could use your brand new camera...
--
The Hodges:
Yes you can, take my camera –just don’t abandon it on a tripod
Yes you can take my camera, but listen to this…oh my god! It’s happening!
(short, pensive melancholic piano piece that really makes you think about it all)
--
Nick and Rob Voicemail, Shit-hot Licks ensue
--
Rocksolid Johnson:
Rocksolid Johnson’s here to kick some ass
We’re losing light, we better film real fast
OMG, what’s that sound?
--
The Hodges Video Camera:
It’s me, the Hodges video camera…I’m falllllliiiiing!!!!!
ACT TWO
The Chorus:
I’m so sorry to The Hodges
Can I ever make it up to you?
--
The Hodges:
That’s no problem, we don’t mind at all
We’re The Hodges, we’ll catch you if you fall
Things are just things, it’s people that matter
What’s a thousand bucks between friends, friendship can’t be shattered
It’s no problem!
Qualitron CHORUS
And I know that I
Will be fine, just fine
When I break all the things
That I know are not mine
But I’m glad to destroy
All the evidence
The past is the past
There is no consequence