It's a Galloping Abs Society Holiday Special! We celebrate this magical time of the year with "Sleigh Bells Ring," by Jodie Griffin. Santa as a leather-clad dom in a BDSM scene with multiple reindeer shifters? We couldn't get more festive if we tried. Join us on this rollicking journey of Christmas-themed innuendo, very inventive sex toys, and some North Pole details we never knew we wanted to know. Plus, we're wowed by Tits Von Fappington's reindeer facts and Loins Haversham's mini talk about pain, pleasure, and brain chemistry!  Link to the book: https://jodiegriffin.com/2015/12/sleigh-bells-ring/ Tits's sources: https://www.fda.gov/animal-veterinary/animal-health-literacy/fun-facts-about-reindeer-and-caribou https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newshub.co.nz/home/rural/2021/07/deer-penis-exports-the-surprising-rise-of-new-zealand-s-pizzle-industry.amp.html Loins's sources: https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2002/01/pleasure-pain-activate-same-part-of-brain/ https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20151001-why-pain-feels-good https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pain_and_pleasure

Following hot on the heels of our in-person, all together, (FOR THE FIRST TIME!) Palate Cleanser, we surround a table and a microphone to speak sweet, sweet words of fairy porn into your earholes. That's right, we're talking about "That Time I Banged A Fairy," by Vivica Snow! Listen as our excitement to be finally amongst each other overrides any sense of patience or logic. We talk fairies, ADD, really firm fairy boobs, and how we're pretty sure all of the books we've read exist in the same universe. And to flutter your fancies, Tits Von Fappington whisks us away on a journey of fairy history! Tits's sources: https://claireryanauthor.com/blog/2017/2/22/2644-the-origins-of-fairies/ https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/The-Origins-of-Fairies/ https://fiveminutehistory.com/the-history-of-fairies/ https://medium.com/lessons-from-history/history-of-fairies-18dff807000e

For the first time in recorded history, the Galloping Abs Society members were in the same room! In celebration of this moment nineteen months in the making, we all participated in the greatest creative adventure possible: Madlibs. Listen in as we come up with four flawless tales of romance, drama, and genital euphemisms.

Are you ready to gallop off into the sunset? Join us on our quest as we discuss "Unicornia" by Grace Risata. It's a veritable unicorn-ucopia of adventure, thrills, chills, and--surprisingly--genuine hilarity. If you thought that was the worst unicorn pun you've heard all week, don't worry, we've got more! Plus, we bring in a bit of history as Tits Von Fappington takes us through some unicorn lore. Saddle up and ride! Tits's sources: https://www.livescience.com/59674-unicorn-facts.html https://www.wired.com/2015/02/fantastically-wrong-unicorn/ https://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/mythic-creatures/land/unicorns-west-and-east https://www.worldhistory.org/article/1629/the-unicorn-myth/ https://www.britannica.com/topic/unicorn

Did you think we were done with shifter books? Surprise! We talk about what might be our shiftiest one yet-- "Mounted By A Monster: Were-Puffer," by Mina Shay. Join us on a puffed-up journey filled with vapid characters, sudden plot bombs, disturbing anatomical transformations, and a cliffhanger that left us all feeling a bit deflated. Loins Haversham also leads us on a little trip through CRISPR-land, and Tits Von Fappington tells us about some of the weirder animal military experiments!  Tits's sources:  https://www.history.com/news/7-unusual-experiments-by-the-u-s-military https://www.cracked.com/blog/an-infamous-nasa-experiment-involved-horny-dolphin-lsd/ https://www.vice.com/en/article/9amw88/what-weve-learned-from-giving-dolphins-lsd https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat_bomb https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/04/old-weird-tech-the-bat-bombs-of-world-war-ii/237267/

We've found ourselves in a tangled, dense jungle of shifter books, so to cleanse our palates, we talk about the animals we'd like to shift into. Which would be better, a dolphin or a duck? It turns out...neither, because they both suck. We also have a strange assortment of animal sex facts to tickle your fancies and turn your stomachs!

Are you ready for more shifter shenanigans? We were! In this episode, we hurl ourselves headfirst into “Bear Naked Yoga” by Blane Thomas, and experience a world of bear shifters, yoga instructors, more yoga, and more bear shifters. And is this...can it be?? We might have finally arrived at the land of Too Many Genital Euphemisms. Thankfully, Tits von Fappington is here to distract us with a little lesson on the etymology of ‘bear.’ Tits’s Sources: https://www.thevintagenews.com/2019/04/04/word-bear/ https://www.backpacker.com/survival/bears/ask-a-bear/ask-a-bear-where-does-the-word-bear-come-from/ https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-24669828 https://www.etymonline.com/word/bare https://web.stanford.edu/~eckert/PDF/BarrettBear.pdf https://www.pride.com/identities/2016/4/05/popular-gay-slang-inspired-animal-kingdom#media-gallery-media-4 https://www.montclair.edu/lgbtq-center/lgbtq-resources/terminology/ https://www.lonestarsf.com/

How could we possibly cleanse our palates after reading the last book? By playing a short game of D&D, of course! Journey along with Tits, Lovemeat, and Loins as Thrusty takes them all on a heart-pounding quest of improvisation, role play, dice rolling, and dick jokes. They have a task, a little bit of luck, and a lot of gumption, but...will they succeed??

Put on your wizard’s hat, gather your adventuring party, and grab your Staff of Unrelenting Fluids—we’re reading “Lust of the Kobolds” by Dani Dundee! It’s a lizardy romp of mates, breeding, and fantasy creatures who share names with David Bowie characters. We geek out just a little bit, and Tits sends us all on a wonderful journey as she tells us about the history of Dungeons and Dragons.  Tits's Sources: https://geekandsundry.com/the-story-of-dd-part-one-the-birth-death-and-resurrection-of-dungeons-dragons/ https://geekandsundry.com/the-story-of-dd-part-two-how-wizards-of-the-coast-saved-dungeons-dragons/ https://geekandsundry.com/the-story-of-dd-part-three-how-3rd-edition-became-the-mother-of-many-rpgs/ https://www.playboy.com/read/the-sexual-revolution-of-dungeons-dragons https://www.wired.com/story/racy-dandd-module-oral-history/ https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-26328105

Hold on to your butts, it's been over a year since our first episode! We celebrate the only way we know how: by revisiting our very first book, "A Viking's Peace." There's been a lot of change since that time, and a lot of weirdness, and a lot of smut. Some might say...too much smut. Not us, though. Come join us on a journey where we look back at what we said about that first book and take a little internal journey as well. Have we changed? Have our morals? Have our standards? How much good can come from one year's worth of bad smut?

Gather your wits and restrain your outrage as we discuss "Taking Kelsey" by Kelli Wolfe! This is a rough one, y'all. We know we've said that before, but this time we mean it. (Make sure to check the trigger warnings at the beginning.) If you can brave this story, you'll join us as we put on some of our most outrageous accents, learn a few facts about dark erotica/darkfic/dark fantasies, and discover what our names would be if we were racehorses. Thrusty's sources from Thrusting In With Knowledge: https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/sexual-fantasies/ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Secret_Garden https://www.delconewsnetwork.com/lifestyle/sexuality-matters-demystifying-your-fantasies/article_09b7bac2-0cee-50fb-b41b-717b90fbdb1a.html https://www.wbur.org/dearsugar/2018/01/13/dark-fantasies-part-1-with-dr-ian-kerner https://fangirlibrary.tumblr.com/post/176529229305/is-it-ok-to-like-darkfic-if-youve-never-been And the link for that “Guess My Kink” video we mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpgszSFG99w

For this palate cleanser, we interview romance novelist Mariah Ankenman! We talk genital euphemisms, her entry into the smut world, get thirsty together, and she even shares some publishing secrets. Find Mariah: @mariahankenman

Buckle your seat belts and get ready for some man-on-man action, we're talking "Gay Bayou Shifter" by Tabatha Austin! We dive in to this swampy tale of love, lust, mates, and convenient alligators, and discuss how we shockingly had a very good time with this book. And, to top it off, Tits Von Fappington gives us a history of gators in the Louisiana Bayou! Tits's sources: https://tinyurl.com/3m2chcfu https://www.louisianasportsman.com/hunting/other-hunting/alligator-tales-stories-from-louisianas-alligator-filled-past/ https://www.livescience.com/32144-whats-the-difference-between-alligators-and-crocodiles.html

We're a-teasin'... We're hopefully a-pleasin'... We're....running out of rhymes because it's been a very long year and we're tired, but here's what to expect in season TWO!

Well, we said we wanted more tentacles. And when we read "Katie Experiences: Slime Seduction" by Winifred LaCroix, we got more tentacles. Was this a good thing? Did we regret several of our past decisions that led up to this moment? Maybe! Follow along with us as we learn about Katie, a petite boyish programmer who gets accosted by a mountain of slime when she's sucked into The Matri--oops, nope, a VR simulation. Strap in, y'all. It's gonna get goopy. (Sources for History with Tits: https:/www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLqVxC6JWIM&list=PLBe9AWBiqCH2JKaz4I_eiWrkKcmaPM2t-&index=1  https:/www.vrs.org.uk/virtual-reality/history.html https:/www.news.com.au/technology/gadgets/the-immersive-world-of-virtual-reality-sex/news-story/15ed5a76de65891a665b0b6f97a71bc4  https:/www.independent.co.uk/news/science/sex-love-robot-virtual-reality-digisexual-future-vr-relationships-a8773391.html https:/www.wired.com/story/coming-attractions-the-rise-of-vr-porn/ )

In this palate cleanser, we discuss each of our humble beginnings with the world of smut and erotica, with a very special guest: Momma McGee!

Get your lighthouses lit and your whistles wet, we're talking about "Tentacle Lord" by M. La Mer! The seas are pretty choppy for this one, dearest listeners. Settle in as we discuss unlikable characters and nonsensical plot devices, then see who can do the best 'Eddie Redmayne in Jupiter Ascending' impression. Plus, we express our displeasure at how little smut was actually in this book. And, to top it all off, Tits delves into the history of tentacle porn! Her sources: https://www.wweek.com/bump/2016/12/06/a-brief-history-of-tentacle-porn/ https://vocal.media/filthy/history-of-tentacle-porn https://fr.lovense.com/bdsm-blog/history-of-tentacle-porn The picture of Caspar David Friedrich we referenced: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ac/Gerhard_von_K%C3%BCgelgen_portrait_of_Friedrich.jpg

It's a Galloping Abs Halloween spectacular! In celebration of all things spoopy, we discuss Ffion Rhys's "Come the Chupacabra." It's a tale as old as time: girl meets boy on an Anthropology trip to Mexico, someone in the tour group gets murdered, and everyone gets boned by Chupacabras. We talk Chupa history, this book's mildly racist overtones, and how most of the story makes no sense. Not even a pack of horny mythical creatures can fill all of these plot holes. Sources from History with Tits: http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20161109-the-truth-about-a-strange-blood-sucking-monster https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/10/101028-chupacabra-evolution-halloween-science-monsters-chupacabras-picture/#close https://www.livescience.com/24036-chupacabra-facts.html

In this mini-sode, we talk about the things that haven't sucked lately! Namely, TV shows, a hack-and-slash video game, books, and a brand new vibrator.

We plumb the depths of the bonkers and bizarre in this episode as we read "Lick-Her Clean: A Taboo, First-time Lesbian, Robotic Bartending Arm Threesome Erotica" by Misty Miles. It's a fast-paced jaunt filled with strangely southern Las Vegans, vaguely described robots, and more nonsensical euphemisms than you can shake a stick (or a robotic arm) at. To top it off, Tits Von Fappington gives us the scoop on the history of sex robots. (Her sources: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160209-the-truth-about-sex-robots https://campaignagainstsexrobots.org/ https://www.newsweek.com/sex-robot-455837 https://www.iflscience.com/technology/why-sex-robots-are-ancient-history/ https://tinyurl.com/y3ugpxwu )