When I met Jordan I immediately understood all the reasons I had never had a relationship with someone like him before. I was terrified to be seen so deeply and to be with someone who lived in the world in the same way I did. In this episode I talk through my relationship history, from being called a “slut” in my younger years, my first love and the patterns that continued through my twenties, feeling like I always wanted more and something was wrong with me, and what it felt like to finally choose myself fully. I also talk about the beginning of my relationship with Jordan and the parts that were excruciatingly difficult for me, where I wanted to push him away, and what I needed to shift in order to be really ready.

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