FreedHearts

Susan & Rob Cottrell, FreedHearts

"Deconstructing religious baggage with laughter and love! Changing the conversation on love and inclusion." Susan Cottrell is the Mom of two LGBTQ children; the founder of FreedHearts; an international speaker with a viral TEDx talk; a pastor and theologian; an acclaimed author; and a fierce advocate and ally. In her unique tender, relatable style, Susan is a prominent voice of unconditional love and lavish inclusion. Powerful, authentic, and relevant in today’s society, Susan has a lot to say. The Advocate calls her their “Favorite Affirming Matriarch.” OutSmart magazine calls her "The Mother of all MamaBears!" Reverend Ashley Harness from Auburn Seminary says, “Susan has this fierce, loving, don’t mess with me, Mom vibe.” If you have been excluded, or if someone close to you has been excluded because of who they are or who they love - or maybe you have been the one doing the excluding - the FreedHearts podcast is for you. Join Susan, along with her husband Rob, on the journey. You are not alone. Welcome home!

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Religion & SpiritualityReligion & Spirituality

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Contempt for God's Love, Joy, Freedom

Contempt for God's Love, Joy, Freedom

We have started to ask the question: Who is God? It’s certainly NOT the old white man in the sky, with all the feminine aspects ripped out.Something has been stolen from us. Our sacred interior has been ransacked and we have lost the understanding of God who loves us, delights in us.This is vital because when we know God feels this way about us — we are free to feel this way about ourselves — and we were meant to feel this way about ourselves!Religion has stolen that God and replaced it with a god who is volatile, masculine, transactional, and abusive.Whatever bristling feeling you may have when you think about God is because you have been robbed of this full-on love fest!Beloved, it’s time to fix that. Support the show

Episodes

Contempt for God's Love, Joy, Freedom

Contempt for God's Love, Joy, Freedom

We have started to ask the question: Who is God? It’s certainly NOT the old white man in the sky, with all the feminine aspects ripped out.Something has been stolen from us. Our sacred interior has been ransacked and we have lost the understanding of God who loves us, delights in us.This is vital because when we know God feels this way about us — we are free to feel this way about ourselves — and we were meant to feel this way about ourselves!Religion has stolen that God and replaced it with a god who is volatile, masculine, transactional, and abusive.Whatever bristling feeling you may have when you think about God is because you have been robbed of this full-on love fest!Beloved, it’s time to fix that. Support the show

How Gender Plays Out in Real Life

How Gender Plays Out in Real Life

Today, we talk all about an example of how gender plays out in real life. How masculinity and femininity are perceived and received, and the impact it has.When you reduce the feminine, you reduce all the feminine traits: of caring, healing, listening, loving—which are indispensable as a balance to the masculine. What happens when you do that is toxic masculinity—when masculinity is not balanced by the feminine, and so it runs amok. Beloved, in this episode we talk about how important it is that we embrace both. Support the show

God’s Gender Reveal!!

God’s Gender Reveal!!

What is masculine and what is feminine? What is our understanding of what they mean? Why does it matter? And why is the culture, and especially the church, holding so hard to traditional definitions? Gender has been turned into a false binary that has assigned roles based on gender with very little tolerance for crossover—even though all of us have masculine and feminine in us, and both are necessary for balance. And we pull the rug out from under the whole thing and talk about God’s gender! Maybe instead of a gender reveal, we’ll call it a gender revelation!Support the show

The Teaching of Contempt – The Absolute Core of Our Problems

The Teaching of Contempt – The Absolute Core of Our Problems

Here we go! We begin our deep-dive into deconstruction by talking about the core of the false teachings coming from the ultra-religious, non-affirming, conditional-love church. It is the root of our racism, queerphobia, xenophobia, misogyny—so much of our problems and issues today.What is it? It is the Teaching of Contempt. Us versus them. So, what is contempt? Contempt means to view someone, a particular group, or something as beneath you, beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn. It means: to despise with intensive force. Yeah. Sound familiar?Support the show

It’s Bible Story Time! Does This Sound Absurd to You??

It’s Bible Story Time! Does This Sound Absurd to You??

It’s important to deconstruct – especially when your faith has been rattled by religious abuse. You likely know exactly what I am talking about.If we do not deconstruct, we can be left with a lot of baggage. It’s vital to separate the God of Religion from the truth of God. Today we have some fun – and we pose a pretty big question. Beloved, gather round for Bible Story Time! We share with you the story of the whole Bible… yep, the whole thing in one episode. All that we have been asked to believe. And we pose the question: Does this sound absurd??Support the show

Freedom from Lies the Church Tells About You & About God!

Freedom from Lies the Church Tells About You & About God!

Sometimes, when people attack deconstruction, they talk about it like it’s an attack on Christianity. Actually, it’s just the opposite. Deconstruction is tearing down false religious teaching that goes against the message and life of Jesus. That message has been perverted by much of the Christian religion. Beloved, there is one thing that scares this non-affirming, fundamentalist, legalistic, rules-based, conditional love church more than anything else. Do you know what that is? It’s YOU. And do you know what they are scared you will do? TALK! That’s why they work so hard to keep you silent and scared.So, we are going to TALK and begin to ask some pretty big questions. You are going to love this. Support the show

Deconstructing the Prodigal: It's NOT About What You Think

Deconstructing the Prodigal: It's NOT About What You Think

Have you been called a Prodigal, and told that if you just repent all will be forgiven? Perhaps you’ve been told that, “Sure, you’re saying you’re gay or transgender—or that you are affirming your LGBTQ+ child--or whatever it is—but one day you’ll repent and then we will “graciously” let you back in the fold!” Uh yeah, no thank you. Few stories are as misused and misunderstood as the Prodigal. Our goal is to have you forever see this from a different point of view and, in this episode, we give you the backstory—so you never have to be abused by the Prodigal story again. Support the show

The Prodigal Transgender Daughter: This Changes Everything!

The Prodigal Transgender Daughter: This Changes Everything!

The story of the prodigal has been misunderstood and abused to harm and shame people.In this very special, powerful episode, we give you a profound, eye-opening retelling of this classic Biblical story about the prodigal – but this time as a transgender womanAnd she is certainly not the one who repents.This will forever change how you view this story!Support the show

If I Deconstruct, Will I Lose Who I Am?

If I Deconstruct, Will I Lose Who I Am?

When you begin to deconstruct everything you have believed, you begin to wonder who you are. You’re left wondering: how do I view the world now? It’s like someone healing from ongoing abuse, and they don’t really know who they are without it—if they’re not an abuse-survivor, who are they? If you’re not a “Christian,” who are you? It’s a big question for so many. Support the show

Why Parents Must AFFIRM Their LGBTQ+ Children

Why Parents Must AFFIRM Their LGBTQ+ Children

We hear from Christian parents every single day. Many give reasons why they just will not support, accept, affirm their LGBTQ+ child. Usually because of their interpretation of the Bible and what their pastors have told them to do. Today we share an email and our answer to a Mom about why parents absolutely MUST support, accept and affirm their LGBTQ+ child. It is indeed the Christian thing to do. Support the show

Family Issues Are NOT Your Fault!

Family Issues Are NOT Your Fault!

We have an amazing capacity to normalize things that can be unbearably painful. It’s a great survival skill. It really does help us survive unimaginable circumstances. But it’s NOT a great thriving skill. Once you’re past the danger, once you survive, you need a new pattern to thrive. And you need to know that trauma, those unbearable, dysfunctional family issues – especially those surrounding you living your authentic life, or you supporting your LGBTQ+ child, are not your fault. Beloved, it's NOT your fault!Support the show

New Year's Revolutions Instead of Resolutions!

New Year's Revolutions Instead of Resolutions!

We are not huge fans of New Year’s resolutions. Kind of feels like setting yourself up to fail. I understand the power of motivation and commitment, setting a goal, pushing yourself – but somehow this feels different. So, instead of New Year’s resolutions – we are doing New Year’s revolutions! We give you 7 things to stop and 7 things to start that can be life-changing, revolutionary for your life.Support the show

How Do I Really Know If I'm Right About LGBTQ+?

How Do I Really Know If I'm Right About LGBTQ+?

The anti-gay church has done a lot of damage as it is a system that was built on exclusion.So, if we find ourselves excluded for whatever reason, we take a lot of baggage with us – false teachings, shame, guilt, cult-like programming. One huge piece of baggage is doubt – wondering if we really are right about all of this. About LGBTQ+. About deconstruction. This is an important episode for our hearts, our peace, our mental and physical health. It will help free our hearts to love and be loved. Support the show

A Gift from Susan: A Story About You from Mother God

A Gift from Susan: A Story About You from Mother God

I have tiny babies in my life now – my grandchildren. I love them – as they are, for who they are. Unconditionally. They don’t have to do anything to earn that. And they never, ever will. As we grow up, sometimes parents do and say hurtful things and withhold the love and acceptance you deserve. You don’t, and never did deserve that. So, today I want to give you a gift, just from me, and talk to that tiny child in you through a beautiful story - a picture of God as Mother, and you as the child. Beloved, your heart so deserves this. Love, SusanSupport the show

A Christmas for the Rest of Us. Holidays After Deconstructing.

A Christmas for the Rest of Us. Holidays After Deconstructing.

After you have deconstructed, Christmas becomes an interesting season doesn’t it? Our view of God has expanded, our faith has expanded.In this beautiful, very special holiday episode, we share three stories - one from Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple; one from Sandra Cisneros; and a unique retelling of the Biblical story for us outliers, the rest of us. I hope these unwrap the way we see and celebrate this Christmas and holiday season. It is about reconstructing Christmas in the midst of a deconstructing faith. Celebrating for the rest of us. Support the show

Holidays or Helladays? When you can’t, or don’t want to go home.

Holidays or Helladays? When you can’t, or don’t want to go home.

Have you been uninvited to a holiday or family gathering? Yeah, us too. And honestly, is that kind of event the last place you would want to be because of things that are said or just because of how you are made to feel? We are right in the middle of the holiday season, and all the family issues and triggers that can bring. So, let’s talk about how to navigate difficult family situations, and also about options for when you can’t, or don’t want to go home for the holidays. Support the show

Infuriating Family Fanatics! Just in Time for the Holidays.

Infuriating Family Fanatics! Just in Time for the Holidays.

This time of year, and being around family so much can be full of triggers and difficult situations. Especially with all the division and anger out there. So, how do we deal with infuriating family fanatics? When we are afraid, angry, and even hurt, how do we love people we don’t even like that much? What does that mean, and what does it not mean?A very helpful episode as we go into this holiday season. Support the show

Are Anti-LGBTQ Christians Real People or Just Bots?!?

Are Anti-LGBTQ Christians Real People or Just Bots?!?

Today, we talk about all the things you hear from anti-LGBTQ Christians, and we ask if those are real thoughts and questions, real concerns, or are they just repeating what they have been programmed to say?? We have some fun discussing if they are real people or are they just bots?? ;-) And, most importantly, we talk about how to respond, especially when they just so happen to be family members. Support the show

Changing Family Definitons and Expecations

Changing Family Definitons and Expecations

How we define family changes. Relationships change. So, our expectations of family should change. We get triggered, we get hurt, especially at this time of year. Beloved, you deserve to find your people. You deserve to love and be loved as you are for who you are. As Richard Bach said, "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life." Let’s talk about family, chosen family, and realistic family expectations. Support the show

Getting Out of the Christian Labyrinth

Getting Out of the Christian Labyrinth

We get a lot of emails from beloved souls who have been absolutely terrified by their church and Christian friends. Cause, you know, that’s so Christlike. (sigh) They are told that they’re not enough, that their parents are right, their pastors are right, and they’re just awful if they can’t change their fundamental core. That they are doomed. No Beloved, you’re NOT doomed! Today we talk about two kinds of Christianity and faith. They are very different, and WE get to decide which we want to be part of.Support the show