PODCAST

Every Damn Thing

Every Damn Thing

Phil and Jake rank everything.

94. David Hasselhoff, Chimichangas As A Lifestyle Choice, Teeth
Phil & Jake are joined once again by Natalie H. to rank actor and superstar singer (in Germany) David Hasselhoff, chimichangas as a lifestyle choice, and teeth on the List of Every Damn Thing.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES:There’s lots of Popeye talk at the start of this one. Popeye Village in Malta is just sitting there waiting for Jake. Here’s the part from Popeye the movie where Bluto sees red.You don’t want to know the cast of Cheers’ ages when the show started.We talk a lot about movies where inanimate objects have personalities, including Pixar’s Cars, The Brave Little Toaster, Disney’s Beauty and the Beast and Toy Story. Elephant tusks are evolved from teeth.The movie Teeth looks pretty crazy. So do teratoma tumors.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:Bruce Springsteen * Barack Obama * Dolly Parton * the Country music industry * Throat Coat tea * Knight Rider * Tom Selleck * Ted Danson * Baywatch * animism * “Looking for Freedom” by David Hasselhoff * public humiliation * Gary Busey * Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. tv movie * Blade * chest hair * “Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit of…)” by Lou Bega * Deadpool * Friday * graffiti * titties * strip clubs that serve food * Tommy Bahamas shirts * George Washington * sleepBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:289. cops - people290. British Royal Family - institution291. Steven Seagal - person292. McRib - food293. Hoarders - TV show294. death - idea295. war - idea296. cigarettes - drug297. QAnon - idea298. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
2d ago
1 hr 11 mins
93. Sleep, Peanut Butter, Sam Elliott
Phil & Jake rank the very necessary activity of sleep, the very American foodstuff called peanut butter, and the very mustachioed actor Sam Elliott on the List of Every Damn Thing.VOTE HERE to help decide which topic we're going to re-rank on an upcoming episode. Polls are almost closed!If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES:For the second time in recent episodes we discuss the songs of Chubby Checker (both "The Limbo Rock" and “Let’s Twist Again”). I Know What You Did Last Summer was a post-Scream 90s horror movie. The title of the sequel was I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, which Phil doesn't approve of.The Karina Longsworth podcast You Must Remember This had a recent episode about Flashdance & Risky Business as part of the current season which is about sex in movies (which used to be a thing). Pittsburgh is a city in western Pennsylvania where the Allegheny & the Monongahela rivers meet to form the Ohio.Phil claims that old Popeye cartoons are much more Olive Oyl and Bluto-centric than you'd think. Some of the better Popeye cartoons aren't streamable because WB's not crazy about the themes. Phil's favorite is "Can You Take It" in which Olive gets a job as a nurse for an underground fight club. Thimble Theater was the original comic strip that Popeye sprung out of. Freddy Krueger was a villain in horror movies in the 80s who attacks people in their dreams. Phil has only ever seen the third Nightmare on Elm Street, where Laurence Fishburne is an orderly at a hospital for traumatized kids and the kids flip the script on Freddy and defeat him.Phil mentions a French scientist who thought sleep was a distraction, and caused himself health problems by staying awake for long periods. This may have been something his parents told him as a kid to get him to sleep. He doesn't know why the scientist was French either.We talk about “sack hounds” and “sack artists”. Phil had always understood these to mean lazy people who could sleep wherever. After looking it up on WW2-era slang websites it seems like a “sack artist” is more like a womanizer whereas a “sack hound” is someone who tries to sleep. Beetle Bailey is a simple, gag-based comic strip with a military setting.Peanut butter is traditionally made of peanuts, smashed. That's why Phil's idea of selling roasted peanuts as extremely crunchy peanut butter makes sense. To Phil.Peanut oil is the oil that you can squeeze out of peanuts. In peanut butter jars, it separates and has to be stirred back into the peanut butter. What? You think it'd be better to just have a jar of peanuts so that the oil will stay put? Yeah me too!Almond butter is mashed-up almonds.The Got Milk? ad campaign which emphasized milk's usefulness as a lubricant, was kicked off by a Michael Bay-directed ad in which a guy has jammed so much PB&J into his mouth that he can't say "Aaron Burr" to win a radio contest. It's a very common problem. George Washington Carver invented about three hundred products derived from peanuts, but did not invent peanut butter.Peanuts are legumes that are eaten as food in the world and are especially popular in the USA, Nigeria and Thailand. Phil used to work with someone who was Thai and she said that Americans all eat rancid peanuts in contrast to Thailand where they eat fresh ones. We’re afraid she might be right!Phil went looking for pics of Lucy Pinder to link to and found this which is an NFT of a picture of her. We hope she gets a cut of this. Realizing that Lucy Pinder is a real person has taught Phil empathy.Boiled peanuts are a fantastic Southern food. They come in a wet paper bag (the kind that so many people have trouble fucking their way out of). Sam Elliott was on the Mission: Impossible TV show back in the early 1970s. He looked good even without the mustache. We talk about a few movies, including The Big Lebowski, Power of the Dog, Young Guns and Tombstone. We also talk reflect on the Western and superhero movie genres in general.Here’s the Sam Elliott episode of WTF with Marc Maron. Malk was the name of an alternative milk in a gag on the Simpsons from 1995. It's now a real product.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:sleepwalking * napping * insomnia * sleeping naked * Popeye’s chicken * goats * Blade * Nutella * peanut cheese * strip clubs that serve food * It’s-It * pickles * backpacking * Spice Girls * forest bathing * moustaches * Bill Paxton * Shaquille O'Neal * shirtless men wearing elaborate angel wings, gold lamé shorts & furry cha-cha heels * Harry Styles * Britney Spears * cochlear implants * plastic strawsBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:286. cops - people287. British Royal Family - institution288. Steven Seagal - person289. McRib - food290. Hoarders - TV show291. death - idea292. war - idea293. cigarettes - drug294. QAnon - idea295. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
May 19 2022
55 mins
92. Cops, Strips Clubs That Serve Food, Forest Bathing (w/ Chon Travis)
Phil & Jake are joined by dear old pal Chon Travis (from Love Equals Death) to rank cops, strip clubs that serve food, and the activity known as forest bathing on the List of Every Damn Thing.Find Chon on Instagram (@therealchontravis) and Facebook (chon.travis), and check out his band Love Equals Death (follow that link to find out their show dates)!If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES:The Cops television show was a reality TV show in which a camera crew followed police around. The police departments got final approval of what was included in the show but it was educational to see what police thought made them look good. District Attorneys are adjacent to cops, but aren't exactly cops. Training Day is a movie about Denzel Washington as a bad cop. Columbo is TV good cop who is completely non-violent and walks around being an unassuming disheveled genius and catching rich people who do murders. Lethal Weapon is a movie about two cops, one of whom is a "Lethal Weapon" because he's suicidal. Die Hard is a movie about an off-duty cop and an on-duty cop (who shot a child while on duty) learning to trust each other. Beverly Hills Cop a movie about a cop from Detroit who goes to Beverly Hills and puts a banana in the tailpipe of cops there.Movie cops are always good or at least necessary.England is a country where cops don't carry guns.We discuss gun ownership. In the USA, 3 in 10 adults say they own a gun. It's something like 40% of men and 20% of women. RoboCop is another movie about cops in which the police force has been privatized. It's fantastic and Ronny Cox from Beverly Hills Cop is fantastic in it as Dick Jones.The Pinkertons were founded as a sort of private police force to crush labor. Rod Lavers shoes are Adidas sneakers named for the great Australian tennis star Rodney Laver. The Australian Open is played in an arena named for him as well. They're fantastic shoes but the best ones are white and it's hard to keep them clean. Firefighters are people who fight fire. When Phil imagined a fire that hated firefighters he was thinking of a little stinker like this guy. Clowns are people trying to make other people laugh. Commandos are special military units. Theodore Roosevelt was a US President and an extremely colorful character who's personally responsible for a lot of death and pain.  The Last Starfighter was a nice little movie that's somehow never been remade. It's about a kid in a trailer park who, by virtue of being good at video games, gets recruited into an interstellar war. Howard the Duck is a movie about a duck who falls in love with Lea Thompson. Capitalism is the system we live in that makes ethical consumption impossible. Middle school is a necessary evil, a place to put young teens. Gambit is a fictional character, a superhero and member of the X-men. He wears a long trench coat and a weird thing on his head. Hoarders is a TV show in which the pain and mental illness of real people is mined for cheap thrills.  Steven Seagal is a movie star who's been credibly accused of sexual assault and has incredibly accused himself of being a yogi, a holy man, a secret agent, a Navy SEAL & a martial arts master. The British Royal Family are pretty bad. Jon Voigt had been really good in a lot of films. He's as low as he is almost entirely because he said some stuff Phil & Jake didn't agree with. Phil even liked his accent in Anaconda. Jenny McCarthy is pretty low on the list because she has some trash opinions. 48 Hrs. was followed by a sequel, Another 48 Hours. The second sequel, 127 Hours, is a big departure for the franchise. Flashdance is probably underrated by us. Karina Longworth went into why in a recent episode of You Must Remember This.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:Insane Clown Posse * speed limits * Hank Williams, Jr. * jorts * Bell Biv Devoe * mini-trucks * Warner Brothers large-graphic cartoon t-shirts * water parks * “Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit of…)” by Lou Bega * Spinderella * Bend, OR * Mendocino County * moongazing * meditation * backpacking * Spice Girls * Pee-Wee Herman * Donald Duck * goatsBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:283. cops - people284. British Royal Family - institution285. Steven Seagal - person286. McRib - food287. Hoarders - TV show288. death - idea289. war - idea290. cigarettes - drug291. QAnon - idea292. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
May 12 2022
59 mins
91. Garfield, Student Loan Forgiveness, Y'all
Phil & Jake rank the funny-pages sensation Garfield, the proposed policy of student loan forgiveness, and the word “y’all” on the List of Every Damn Thing.VOTE HERE to help decide which topic we're going to re-rank on an upcoming episode.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES:There's an infamous strip where Jon Arbunkle drinks dog semen. For the record, Jim Davis denied that's what was going on.Discussion of portrayals of cats in popular culture leads to some talk about Tom and Jerry and much talk about Heathcliff (the Original Orange Cat).Phil was wrong about the name of the Garfield convention, it's called the Garfield Gathering. It should be called The Garfering. The next one is May 20th, 2022 in Warwick, Rhode Island. They don't happen every year so don't miss your chance. Garfield Minus Garfield were some edits people made in which Garfield was removed. Phil mentions the very grounded and realistic Garfield without his thought balloons.Beetle Bailey is singled out by Phil as a good gag stripOlivia James took over drawing the comic strip Nancy a few years ago and it's been a breath of fresh air. The old Ernie Bushmiller strips are extremely good also.  Garfield: His 9 Lives was a very strange Garfield project in the 80s.When talking about historical tax jubilees, Phil didn't really understand the mechanics too well but in Leviticus, God tells the Hebrews to forgive debts and free slaves every 50 years. It's unclear how this worked in practice. The idea wasn't unique to Hebrews, there are also records of jubilee proclamations in Babylon & Egypt.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:vocabulary * spelling * Bill Murray * Garfield: The Movie * Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties * Odie * Nermal * Pookie * lasagna * capitalism * Donald Duck * Popeye * Sir Topham Hatt * Charmander * Jessica Rabbit * Cinderella * the 80s * Theodore Roosevelt * Aerosmith * “Friday” by Rebecca Black * Girl Scout Cookies * the national debt * kids in restaurants * Barack Obama * cochlear implants * “Macho Man” Randy Savage * shirtless men wearing elaborate angel wings, gold lamé shorts and furry cha-cha heels * standing in line * gender * Texas * Chris Gaines * “Party Up” by DMX * “moist” * jorts * dippin’ sauce * dilapidated shacks * puns * intro to “Back that Azz Up” * Country music * rye bread * the Jersey Shore * pigeons * Crocs * Britney SpearsBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:280. Hank Williams, Jr - person281. British Royal Family - institution282. Steven Seagal - person283. McRib - food284. Hoarders - TV show285. death - idea286. war - idea287. cigarettes - drug288. QAnon - idea289. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
May 5 2022
58 mins
90. Spice Girls, Shell Suits, British Food (w/ Eirinie Carson)
Phil & Jake are joined by returning friend (and author) Eirinie Carson to rank the British Pop group Spice Girls, the outfits that the British call shell suits, and British food on the List of Every Damn Thing.Follow Eirinie on Instagram (@eirinieeee) and Twitter (@Eirineee), and read her columns on Mother Mag. Her upcoming book The Dead Are Gods will be published by Melville House. If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES:The Spice Girls are, of course: Victoria Adams aka Victoria Beckham aka Posh Spice, Geri Halliwell aka Ginger Spice, Melanie C aka Sporty Spice, Mel B aka Scary Spice and Emma Bunton aka Baby Spice.Was there a sixth Spice Girl? Kind of. Michelle Stephenson was briefly part of the group that would go on to become the Spice Girls.At the time of this writing, we can’t provide a link to Lady Camden from Ru Paul’s Drag Race because it would risk spoiling the season finale for ourselves. Lucy Pinder is, as Wikipedia tells us, a British actress, TV personality and former glamour model. Shes also joins Eirinie for going on "holiday" (aka vacation). Phil at some point got it into his head that she was a right-wing ideologue and it broke the spell she had over him. It's probably for the best, even if it wasn't true!We talk about the Spice Girls songs “Wannabe” and “2 Become 1”. The video featuring them in leather outfits is for the song "Say You'll Be There".2 Live Crew are filthy Miami rappers who legally laid the foundation for all filthy rappers that followed. Mogul did an excellent series about them.We get into a little Chubby Checker discussion, including his songs “The Twist” and “Let's Twist Again”. Phil tells us about Don't Knock the Twist , is a movie that features Checker with a lot of associated acts including Dee Dee Sharp, who sings Mashed Potato time, one of Phil's favorites. Phil likes anything where the song tells you "It's the latest" or "it's the greatest" and Mashed Potato time does both.Robbie Williams is the cheeky chappie from Stoke. Harry Styles is Hazza? Dolly Parton is the Backwoods Barbie. Hank Williams is the Hillbilly Shakespeare.Phil mentions the 2013 Morgan Spurlock 3-D documentary about One Direction, This Is Us but then gets confused as to whether it exists or not. It does.Phil mentions the youtube video "A Scouser Tries The Wigan Kebab and Smack Barm Pea Wet" in which a guy from Liverpool travels 17 miles to Wigan to enjoy Smack Barm Pea Wet which is a roll with a potato that's been batter dipped and deep fried, served with the liquid that peas sit in.  Turkey Twizzlers were a UK meat product that used to be served to children at schools until celebrity chef Jamie Olive raised a fuss about them. Bovril is a beef broth concentrate, formerly known as Johnston's Fluid Beef. Phil remembers a guy saying it's served hot in a disposable cup. Kit-Kat is a candy that originates in England but really hit its stride in Japan where they make many variant flavors and generally appreciate the brand. Lucozade is a sports drink, roughly akin to Gatorade that was originally sold at pharmacies.Kebab stands are places where you can buy kebabs. Phil said we don't really have them in America but it's not really true. In his old neighborhood in Queens they were all over.Phil mentions a shocking ad for breakfast in a can he saw in a lad mag. He was unable to find images because when people are preserving and scanning lad mags, their priority is the photos of Lucy Pinder or Lucy Collett and then when that's done they'll eventually get around to the horrifying pictures of canned sausage and eggs. The product was probably ​​Hunger Breaks' All Day Breakfast.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:fishing * Spice World * Destiny’s Child  * TLC * Jessica Rabbit * K-Pop * girl power * British politics * Margaret Thatcher * Britney Spears * Flat-Earthers * British Imperialism * spices * Simon Cowell * volcanoes * pickles * backpacking * “I’m Scum” by Idles * tracksuits * Tommy Bahama shirts * zipper jeans worn with no underwear * no-show socks * commandos * fast fashion * plastic straws * chip shop chips *  English breakfast * bangers & mash * toad in the hole * bubble & squeak * haggis * Irn-Bru * burritos * pieBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:277. Hank Williams, Jr - person278. British Royal Family - institution279. Steven Seagal - person280. McRib - food281. Hoarders - TV show282. death - idea283. war - idea284. cigarettes - drug285. QAnon - idea286. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Apr 28 2022
1 hr 6 mins
89. Hoarders, IPAs, Backpacking (w/ Micah Mason)
Phil & Jake are joined by friend-of-the-pod Micah to rank the reality TV show Hoarders, the craft beer style known as IPA, and the activity of backpacking on the List of Every Damn Thing.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES: The Collyer Brothers were famous hoarders who died in the 1940s. There was a musical made about their lives. Aida is a Verdi opera, first performed in Cairo in 1871. Of course Phil pronounced it wrong. What did you expect?!During the episode Jake drinks a Picnic Lightning by Brouwerij West. It’s a top-notch Hazy IPA.Shop ‘n’ Wash was a laundromat & convenience store in Ukiah, CA. It's name is pure description, zero wordplay. Phil feels that laundromats should have some wordplay in their names eg "Get the Funk Out" "Escamoles" or "Mexican caviar" are ant eggs eaten as food by adventurous eaters like Micah.Phil referred to Shackleton’s Endurance as Sir Edmund Hillary going to the North Pole in the Perseverance. The wreck of Endurance was just discovered in March of 2022! "The Ride" by David Allan Coe is a 1983 country song about an encounter with the ghost of Hank Williams while hitchhiking from Montgomery, AL to Nashville, TN.Phil mentions Plagues and Pleasures on The Salton Sea, a documentary about the area. It's a very strange place both culturally and geologically.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:The Lost Coast * hoarding * transphobia * exploitation * A&E * public humiliation * The Last Starfighter * McRib * Steven Seagal * crushed ice * Gary Busey * hot sauce * puns * beer & wings * mini-trucks * Fritch’s mustache * cold brew shandy * sriracha * Mendocino County * nature * cats * dogs * Britney Spears * Hank Williams * camping * the Eastern Sierras * feeding cats like babies * pickles * The Lone Ranger radio show * CherBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:274. Hank Williams, Jr - person275. British Royal Family - institution276. Steven Seagal - person277. McRib - food278. Hoarders - TV show279. death - idea280. war - idea281. cigarettes - drug282. QAnon - idea283. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Apr 21 2022
1 hr
88. The Twilight Zone, Cochlear Implants, Ants, Barack Obama & More
Lighting (episode) strikes again as Phil & Jake rank The Twilight Zone media franchise, plastic straws, cochlear implants, mocha lattes, ants, belly button lint, hitting rock bottom and former U.S. President Barack Obama on the List of Every Damn Thing.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES:We mentioned several episodes of the original Twilight Zone TV series, such as It's a Good Life and Mirror Image. We didn't mention After Hours which is fantastic. The Twilight Zone 80s reboot has one really good episode "Button, Button" which we think was made into a movie. The way it works is a guy gives you a button to keep for a month and if you press the button you get a million dollars.  The Twilight Zone Jordan Peele reboot was OK but too long. The right amount of time for something like this is under 30 minutes. Here’s some of the Twilight Zone episode with Buster Keaton. There’s a lot of jokes about the differences between the 1890s and the 1960s that don’t really hit in 2022. William Shatner bugs out in a Twilight Zone episode. A couple decades later, John Lithgow bugs out in a reboot of it from The Twilight Zone: The Movie.“You know, for kids” is one of our favorite things. Sound of Metal is a great movie about deafness. You should watch it. We don’t mention it in the episode, but Coda is also a great movie about deafness (and especially deafness as culture). You should watch it too.Cyborgs is short for "cybernetic organism". Phil has a very loose definition of cyborgs that his family doesn't agree with. Phil claims that not only is someone with a pacemaker a cyborg but also someone with glasses, a cell phone or shoes.Phil claimed that The Ants won E.O. Wilson the Pulitzer prize but he was actually thinking of Tales from the Ant World. Leiningen and the Ants is a 1938 short story you probably remember from school here's the full text but, I hasten to add, it's of (looks left and right) dubious legality.Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is a former wrestler and current movie star, his second most famous move was the Rock Bottom. Here are ten examples of him performing the move. Phil had it confused with the People's Elbow, which goes off the turnbuckles. The Rock Bottom is what's called a "side slam".Here’s the Between Two Ferns with Obama.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:The Twilight Zone pinball machine * Star Wars * Black Mirror * Peter Falk * The Outer Limits * EC Comics * Rod Serling * Saturday Night Live * alternative milks * Crocs * Spaceballs * Nerf guns * generation ships * Aerosmith * fast fashion * Plackers dental flossers * capitalism * Josta * sports team jerseys * bicycles * BIC lighters * earplugs * Charli XCX * hot cocoa * coffee * cold brew shandy * animal crackers * grilled cheese sandwich * dippin’ sauce * expresso with an “x” * Popeye’s chicken * Taco Bell * picnics * The Grasshopper and the Ants * crows * wool * radio edits * death * public humiliation * Guantanamo Bay * Theodore Roosevelt * Ice Cube * Gary Busey * Jessica RabbitBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:271. Jon Voight - person272. Hank Williams, Jr - person273. British Royal Family - institution274. Steven Seagal - person275. McRib - food276. death - idea277. war - idea278. cigarettes - drug279. QAnon - idea280. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Apr 14 2022
47 mins
87. Friday, Friday, Friday (w/ Matt Hock)
Phil, Jake & Jason welcome Matt Hock back to the pod to rank Friday (the day of the week), the 90s movie Friday, and the song “Friday” by Rebecca Black on the List of Every Damn Thing.If you haven't already, check out Matt's band! You can get Space Cadet’s record “Lion On A Leash” on Wiretap Records, listen to them on Spotify, and follow them on Instagram (@space_cadet_band).If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES:We get into some Bob’s Burgers-style punny business right away, but don’t worry it’s brief.For the second episode in a row, Gingerdead Man (starring Gary Busey) finds its way into our conversation.“Roadie Friday” is the day before the day off on tour. Friday is a state of mind. TGI Fridays was a really revolutionary idea when it first came about. The premise was that it was a bar that women would feel comfortable visiting. The bar in the movie Cocktail where Tom Cruise recites poetry is based on TGI Fridays.Freaky Fridays are when you switch bodies with your parent.Freya is the mother of Thor and Friday is named for her the way Thursday is named for him.Here’s DJ Pooh running and crying.Def Comedy Jam was a show on HBO where urban comedians could perform. The most famous set ever was probably Bernie Mac's first appearance but Chris Tucker's was really good too.  Phil was wrong here, there is no "other Chris Tucker".Deebo Samuel plays football for the San Francisco 49ers. Deebo is not his legal name but he confirms that it came from the movie Friday.We note how great Friday’s soundtrack is, with songs like “Keep Their Heads Ringin” by Dr. Dre, “Friday” by Ice Cube & “Hoochie Mama” by 2 Live Crew.Jake compares Friday to two of his favorite books Cannery Row & Tortilla Flat (both by John Steinbeck). He also compares it to his new favorite TV show to insist everyone watch: Blindspotting (it’s on Starz so you’ll have to get a promotional subscription and binge the show within a month).Other songs discussed include “Little Saint Nick” by The Beach Boys, “American Pie” by Don McLean & “Do You Know the Way to San Jose” by Dionne Warwick.Jason sincerely apologizes for unknowingly dead-naming Cara Cunningham.Here’s the 2021 hyperpop remix of “Friday” featuring Big Freedia and others.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:Eddie and the Cruisers * the Jersey Shore * Michelob Ultra * football * Burning Man * Friday the 13th * 48 Hrs. * handkerchiefs* ice cream trucks * Frasier * Saturday Night Live * burritos * pie * square pizza * triangle pizza * Ice Cube * Chris Tucker * Chris Rock * “Tiny” Zeus Lister * John Witherspoon * the classical unities * Ferris Bueller’s Day Off * the Crips * 90s indie movies * The Truman Show * Caddyshack * Flashdance * The Matrix * Bill Paxton * marijuana * autotune * earworms * Elvis Presley * Josta * AerosmithBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:263. Jon Voight - person264. Hank Williams, Jr - person265. British Royal Family - institution266. Steven Seagal - person267. McRib - food268. death - idea269. war - idea270. cigarettes - drug271. QAnon - idea272. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Apr 7 2022
55 mins
86. Insane Clown Posse, Gary Busey, A Third Topic (w/ Efrem Schulz)
Phil and Jake are joined once again by Efrem Schulz to rank rap group Insane Clown Posse, actor Gary Busey, and a third topic on the List of Every Damn Thing.Find Efrem on Twitter (@Efbystereo) and Instagram (@efbystereo). And keep on eye out for upcoming shows by his bands Death By Stereo, Voodoo Glow Skulls and Manic Hispanic! If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES:The only ICP song we really discuss is (of course) “Miracles”. The Great Milenko is a devil figure in the Juggalo cosmology - "According to the group's mythology, The Great Milenko is a necromancer and illusionist who tries to trick individuals into greed and other such sins. He takes out the worst in an individual and creates powerful illusions in an attempt to cause them to become hedonistic and greedy. An honorable individual must fight his magic in order to make it to Shangri-La." Horrorcore is a genre that was a big deal in the 90s. It's pretty much what it sounds like. Horror-inflected rap music. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony were initially extremely horrorcore. They had a song called "Hell Sent" about invading hell and killing demons. Looking back now it was inescapable, from the Geto Boys ("Chuckie") to Ice-T ("pulse of the rhyme") to the Gravediggaz ("1-800-Suicide"). It's one of those things you don't realize is everywhere until years later when it's gone. American Juggalo is a great short film about the Gathering of the Juggalos. You should watch it.Busey movies discussed include The Buddy Holly Story, Point Break, Under Siege and The Gingerdead Man. We also talk about his appearances on such reality TV shows as I’m With Busey, Celebrity Rehab and Gary Busey Pet Judge.The Rock is Phil's favorite 90's action movie. People get it confused with Con Air but it's much better. All three stars (Connery, Harris and Cage) go all-out.Jake Busey is Gary Busey's son, he looks like his dad.Starship Troopers is a Paul Verhoeven film loosely based based on the film of the same name by Robert Heinlein. It's maybe the best anti-war movie of the past 50 years but the general public really showed their ass by missing the point.Is Gary Busey in Lethal Weapon? You bet your ass he is.Please direct any complaints about our third topic to @Efbystereo & @thaddius_larue.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:mini-trucks * Juggalos * Juggalettes * magnetism * scary clowns * Esham * Juggalo Championship Wrestling * Faygo * Million Juggalo March * Ouija Macc * veganism * Bruce Springsteen * Britney Spears * Star Trek: The Next Generation * Golden Girls * Klaus Nomi * The Three Stooges * clowns * Nick Nolte * brain injury * Randy Quaid * interspecies animal friends * Bill Paxton * Bill Murray * “Macho Man” Randy Savage * Jessica Rabbit * “Dancing Queen” by ABBA * Watchmen (tv show) * Double Stuf OreosBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:260. Jon Voight - person261. Hank Williams, Jr - person262. British Royal Family - institution263. Steven Seagal - person264. McRib - food265. death - idea266. war - idea267. cigarettes - drug268. QAnon - idea269. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Mar 31 2022
1 hr 2 mins
85. Eddie and the Cruisers, Mambo No. 5, Being Possessed
Phil and Jake are rank the 1983 fictional band biopic Eddie and the Cruisers, the 1999 Latin pop hit “Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit of…)” by Lou Bega, and  being possessed on the List of Every Damn Thing.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES:Jake and Phil are always on the grind trying to make money while they sleep, trying to monetize, etc. Just the most craven shit you can imagine.Pod-Bucks are how Phil and Jake get paid for making this podcast. A Pod-Buck is kind of like a No-Prize but without the envelope.Actors that we discuss include Tom Berenger, Ellen Barkin, Joe Pantoliano, James Franco, Michael Paré, Rick Springfield, Gary Oldman, Dan Aykroyd and Bob Saget.Many musical acts come up during the episode, such as Bruce Springsteen, Dion and the Belmonts, My Chemical Romance, Damaso Perez Prado, Aerosmith, Ice Cube, Spinderella, Bell Biv Devoe and Chris Gaines. We talk about how The Doors were used as an inspiration for Eddie and the Cruisers, but we fail to draw the connection that there were also rumors about Jim Morrison faking his death.Songs discussed include  “On the Dark Side” by John Cafferty (which is from the movie), “Quarter to Three” by Gary U.S. Bonds (maybe Phil's favorite song of the 20th century), “Project Chick” by Cash Money Millionaires, “Kokomo” by the Beach Boys, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” by Cindi Lauper and “Do You Know the Way to San Jose” by Dione Warwick.Phil mentions a song from the movie called “Special Touch” but the actual name of the song is “Down On My Knees” (also by John Cafferty). Phil’s right when he says it sounds like “Hurts So Good” by John Mellencamp.Other movies discussed include That Thing You Do!, West Is West, Streets of Fire, Jersey Boys, The Fabulous Baker Boys, Howard the Duck, Caddyshack, The Matrix, The Truman Show, Drumline, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, The Exorcist, All of Me, Ghost, Ghost Rider, Ghostbusters, Evil Dead 2, Repossessed, R.I.P.D., The Frighteners and of course Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives! Streets of Rage is the arcade game Phil mentioned that uses the common trope of a power up of a whole roast chicken that makes the player regain his health. The Palace of Depression was a real place in Vineland, New Jersey. Jake claims that Eddie and the Cruisers used the actual site as a shooting location, though the internet implies that it was razed in 1969 so maybe the one from the movie was a recreation.Jake calls meals_by_cug a Jersey guy but it looks like he’s from Staten Island.We refer to our episode featuring Dave Hause, in which we go over Dave’s USA Today piece about Taylor Swift and master tapes.Here’s the scene from The Simpsons where Bart tries to buy a novelty license plate. Brian WIlson had a nervous breakdown when he heard the Beatles' Revolver. Sleep paralysis is the worst. Jake cites Scottish folklore that attributes it to a witch sitting on your chest. We couldn’t trace the story to Scotland, but we did discover the night hag, which isn’t too far off the mark.We don’t actually get into the movie, but Silverado is an 80s neo-traditional Western by Lawrence Kasdan with a stacked cast that Phil's never seen, and is the one movie that Phil will never be invited over to Jake’s house to watch.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:Watchmen TV series * jeggings * L’Eggs * Arthur Rimbaud * the Jersey Shore * music biopics * Martin Davidson * Boomers * leather jackets * junkyards * Star Wars * movie tropes * “Macho Man” Randy Savage * mini-trucks * eggs * the national debt * Crocs * ghosts * seizures * zipper jeans worn with no underwear * public humiliation * speed limits * Hulk HoganBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:257. Jon Voight - person258. Hank Williams, Jr - person259. British Royal Family - institution260. Steven Seagal - person261. McRib - food262. death - idea263. war - idea264. cigarettes - drug265. QAnon - idea266. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Mar 24 2022
52 mins
84. Britney Spears, Alternative Milks, Leather Jackets (w/ Marissa Puget)
Phil and Jake are joined by Marissa Puget to rank Princess of Pop Britney Spears, alternative milks, and leather jackets on the List of Every Damn Thing.Find Marissa on Instagram (@hooksforhands) and Twitter (@hooksforhands). Also check out her work at Raconteur, especially with Dance Cry Dance Records.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES:Happy birthday to Marissa's mom, Karen! That is, if you're reading this on the day the episode was released. If not, then either happy belated birthday, or happy early birthday for next year. You choose.This was the first joke Phil's son was able to pull off: "What's green and smells like blue paint? Green paint!" He's still working on our new favorite: "What's the secret to telling a good joke timing."Therapy in the future will be Phil's son going into a VR experience where a Pokemon-branded A.I. therapist goes through his father's social media and podcasts and then administers a virtual medication.Other pop stars discussed include Avril Lavigne, Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, Harry Styles, Cher and Prince. We also talk about non-Pop musicians like Klaus Nomi, Bruce Springsteen. “Weird Al” Yankovic, Charli XCX, Hank Williams and the Ramones.We get into so many Britney songs: “...Baby One More Time”, “Gimme More”, “Work Bitch”, “Radar”, “Unusual You”, “Until the World Ends” (featuring Nikki Minaj & Ke$ha), “Oops I Did It Again”, “Toxic” and her rendition of Sonny & Cher’s “The Beat Goes On”.Jake recommends this Mystery Show podcast episode about Britney (though he incorrectly attributes it to the podcast Invisibilia).Phil mentions the Netflix show This Is Pop. The third episode "Stockholm Syndrome" discusses Max Martin's team in Sweden, and one producer explains the piano-playing finger formation the he dubs “hit claw” (which was used to create "...Baby One More Time").Here’s the “Toxic” remix from the Promising Young Woman soundtrack, and here’s the mash-up with the B-52s’ “Love Shack”.Phil was familiar with Rolling Stone cover featuring Britney with a Teletubby, but had never noticed the Teletubby.The documentary about Britney’s conservatorship (and the #freebritney movement) that we refer to is Framing Britney Spears.Here’s Britney being interviewed by Michael Moore for Fahrenheit 9/11.We don’t even mention that Dan Aykroyd plays Britney’s character’s dad in the movie Crossroads!Fear not, the saga of bread & butter pickles controversy does continue in this episode.Here’s Britney & Justin Timberlake’s denim outfits.Marrisa’s right, kefir is very similar to yogurt. Other types of alternative milks discussed include almond milk, soy milk, oat milk and coconut milk.We talk about a lot of different iconic leather jacket looks, including those of Indiana Jones, Marlon Brando, Danny Zuko, Arthur Fonzerelli, Eddie Murphy, Ford Fairlane, Blade and The Matrix.We couldn’t find any evidence of what Jake calls a “snowy river jacket” ever appearing in The Man from Snowy River. Banthas are the big hairy things in Star Wars that live on the desert planet of Tatooine (not the ice planet of Hoth). They stand in for either camels or buffalo.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:St. Patrick’s Day * Game of Death * dance * RuPaul’s Drag Race * Marvel movies * volcanoes * the Golden Gate Bridge * “Kerplunk!” by Green Day * coffee creamer * Triscuits * tuna melt * grilled cheese * dippin’ sauce * rye bread * movie theater popcorn * turkey / bacon / swiss sandwich * rockabilly * Santa Cruz, CA * wizards * motorcycle gangs * Rod Lavers shoes * Bill Murray * “Midnight Train to Georgia” by Gladys Knight & the Pips * square pizzaBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:254. Jon Voight - person255. Hank Williams, Jr - person256. British Royal Family - institution257. Steven Seagal - person258. McRib - food259. death - idea260. war - idea261. cigarettes - drug262. QAnon - idea263. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Mar 17 2022
57 mins
83. Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Fireworks, Wind
Friend-of-the-pod Donovan is back to help Phil and Jake rank John Hughes' classic film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, fireworks, and the meteorological phenomenon known as wind on the List of Every Damn Thing.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES: One of our tweets got a like from DC the Brain Supreme of Tag Team, who of course brought you “Whoomp! (There It Is)”. Here’s the Geico commercial where they do a new ice cream-themed version of the song. We just realized DC shouts “Sprinkles!” at the end of the commercial, which probably has something to do with why he liked our tweet for the episode in which we rank cake sprinkles.When Phil said there was a woman who calls herself Jessica Rabbit, he was referring to Melyssa Ford, who is a model who used to be in a lot of rap videos. Naturally, we talk a lot about movies, including other works by director John Hughes (Home Alone, The Breakfast Club) and many of the films that are already on the List of Every Damn Thing (Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Caddyshack, The Matrix, Trading Places, The Truman Show, Drumline, Star Wars). War Games is another movie where Matthew Broderick uses a computer to change his grades.There’s also Career Opportunities, the last Hughes teen comedy. It's not discussed much except by creeps who remember it mostly for the scene where Jennifer Connelly rides a hobby horse. The Prestige is the best Christopher Nolan movie, it's about rival Victorian magicians & about doubles, doppelgangers, brothers, etc. The best part is when Hugh Jackman's character hires an actor that resembles him to be half of the magic trick. The second best part is whenever Michael Caine opens his mouth. John Mulaney is a well-known stand-up comedian from suburban Chicago who kind of seems like Ferris Bueller. He was a writer for Saturday Night Live.Phil might have been confused as usual when he was talking about Abe Froman being the name of the character in the Palm Beach Story. He's called "the Weenie King" and he's a rich old man who knows where to buy meat cheap. Rampage was a video game where you can control one of three giant monsters that destroy a city. When they're defeated they turn back into naked humans. It was adapted into a movie starring Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson. The painting that Phil mentioned was Georges Seurat's A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte which is at the Art Institute of Chicago. It was the inspiration for the musical Sunday in the Park with George, which Phil's never seen.Of course we devote time to the Sport-o’s, Motorheads, Geeks, Sluts, Bloods, Wasteoids, Dweebies and Dickheads.We went over the crimes of Jeffrey Jones in our Howard the Duck episode, in case you care to learn more.The Ferris Bueller sitcom was on TV at the same time as Parker Lewis Can’t Lose but didn’t last as long because it presumably sucked.Ferris Bueller’s Day Off gave the song “Oh Yeah” by Yello a real boost.Does Donovan think the NYPD is giving him Havana syndrome? No, but that doesn’t mean he trusts them.We briefly discuss dog suicide. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.Phil mentions the Simpsons episode “The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show”, maybe his favorite episode. It includes a short cartoon called The Beagle Has Landed in which Itchy and Scratchy are on their way to the fireworks factory but are interrupted by Poochie, who introduces himself by rapping. They never go to the fireworks factory.Jake tells a Warped Tour story about Rusty Pistachio from the band H2O flexed on some dudes from an unnamed mediocre punk band who were shooting very lethal fireworks very close to Jake and his friends. Smith Puget gets quite a lot of well-deserved compliments in the episode.The “little man” is the system used by the San Francisco Chronicle to review movies. Instead of stars there are pictures of a man in one of five positions: clapping wildly and jumping out of his seat, clapping, sitting attentively, asleep, or the dreaded empty chair. They should probably make some more specific ones like the guy's face is melting off because the movie is too trippy or he's eating a movie theater hot dog.The “Sonoma Aroma” is a phenomenon in which, on some days, in some parts of Sonoma County, California, there will be a smell of cow manure in the air. This is not to be confused with the Tacoma Aroma, which is caused by some kind of wood processing.Many windmills are hardly more than glorified dilapidated shacks (which is still high praise coming from us).ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:glitter * Chicago * feminism * Charlie Sheen * Irish twins * cutting school aka skipping class * real estate * John Candy * Alan Ruck * the Von Steuben Day Parade * Pee-Wee Herman * Ben Stein * metatextuality * Star Trek: The Next Generation * bottle rocket fights * Black Cats * BIC lighters * firefighters * earplugs * handkerchiefs * beer & wings * San Francisco’s Chinatown * nail clippers * rye bread * snare drums * Bon Jovi * sailors * forest fires * air * volcanoes * Don Quixote * tornadoes * hurricanes * fans * the sea * Mendocino County * podcastsBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:251. Jon Voight - person252. Hank Williams, Jr - person253. British Royal Family - institution254. Steven Seagal - person255. McRib - food256. death - idea257. war - idea258. cigarettes - drug259. QAnon - idea260. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Mar 11 2022
57 mins
82. Grilled Cheese, Tuna Melt, Turkey / Bacon / Swiss (w/ Andy Granelli)
Phil and Jake are joined once again by Andy Granelli (The Distillers, Seized Up) to pump up the sandwich bandwidth by ranking the grilled cheese sandwich, the tuna melt, and the turkey / bacon / swiss sandwich on the List of Every Damn Thing.Find Andy on Twitter (@AndyGranelli) and Instagram (AndyGranelli). If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).SHOW NOTES:Phil claims that cat names don't really matter because cats are mostly called "kitty" anyways and they're indifferent to any name you give them. You should just name your cat a word that you enjoy saying into the air.The Marvel superhero Wolverine will sometimes go undercover by wearing an eyepatch and calling himself “Patch”. This strains credulity because he has the most distinctive hairstyle ever. It's almost as if it's not real.Lots of other types of sandwiches and sandwich-type foods come up in the course of this episode, including cheese sandwiches, melts, quesadillas, crab sandwiches and of course shit on a shingle.The various sandwich fixins that get discussed include rye bread, pickles, onion rings, shredded lettuce and the delicious mouth-wrecking Dutch crunch bread.The grilled cheese sandwich that Jake made in preparation for this episode was Atika cheese from Tomales Farmstead Creamery on Josey Baker Country Bread. He made it in his Breville air-frying toaster oven. For the record, ”Atika” means “two” in the language of the Coast Miwok people (Jake couldn’t remember the name of this local Native Bay Area tribe). Robert’s Western World in Nashville is Jake’s favorite place to get a grilled cheese sandwich. The grill is right there behind the bar, and they totally don’t do the grilled cheeses on the same grill where they do the meat. In-N-Out grilled cheese (animal style) is usually pretty good too if it’s fresh off the grill, and Waffle House’s ain’t bad in a pinch either.The place in New York City that specializes in grilled cheese sandwiches seems to now be a national chain called Melt Shop.We shout-out some other sandwich purveyors during the episode, such as Nick’s Rockaway in Pacifica, CA, the Adeline Market deli in Burlingame, CA, The Bottle Shop in Ukiah, CA, and Woodhouse Fish Company & Molinari Delicatessen in San Francisco.Main Street Wine & Cheese– also in Ukiah, which is itself of course in Mendocino County– is sadly now either a taqueria or a Quizno’s.Jake couldn’t remember the fancy French-derived word for an open-faced sandwich. It’s “tartine”.Recipe websites are some of the worst because to game search engines they put the recipes down below and don't let you just scroll to the bottom. They then put a long story about themselves at the top and a lot of javascript ads so that when you're trying to make the recipe, the content keeps moving. It's awful and they should be ashamed. SFgate.com is similarly maddening.We continue the ongoing bread & butter pickle controversy that Jade Puget started back in Episode 78.Tuna on pizza is very good, it gets crispy! Here's an example on a recipe website that's not that bad.Are magic erasers made from crab shells? No they're not. Phil was wrong again! Steve1989MREinfo is the guy Phil mentioned who unboxes old (sometimes extremely old) military rations and eats them.Canadians wear poppies on Remembrance Day (November 11th).Tulip mania is a classic case– maybe the classic case– of a speculative bubble. It's been thoroughly documented elsewhere but Phil enjoyed the movie Tulip Fever which takes you inside the tulip futures auctions in a way an economics textbook can't do. Hetch-Hetchy water is the best water. People who live in San Francisco get it right out of their taps.All the news article headlines about Andy’s bandmate Chuck Platt getting hit by a car cite his other band, not Seized Up (the one he’s in with Andy). We’re glad to hear Chuck is recovering nicely.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:48 Hrs. * anime * Cowgirl Creamery * eating burnt food * Shaquille O'Neal * crushed ice * chest hair * man-buns * gas-powered leaf blowers * Tommy Bahamas shirts * triangle pizza * square pizza * pie * Saturday Night Live * bagels * pancakes * movie theater popcorn * beer & wings * Bon Jovi * SFizio Italian Pilsner * Taco Bell * vegetarianism * pescetarianism * cursing * Run the Jewels * cats * BIC lighters * Dutch babies * burritos * shirtless men wearing elaborate angel wings, gold lamé shorts and furry cha-cha heels * nail clippers * Chinatown in San FranciscoBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:248. Jon Voight - person249. Hank Williams, Jr - person250. British Royal Family - institution251. Steven Seagal - person252. McRib - food253. death - idea254. war - idea255. cigarettes - drug256. QAnon - idea257. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Mar 3 2022
53 mins
81. Bill Murray, BIC Lighters, Cake Sprinkles
Phil & Jake rank iconic comic actor Bill Murray, BIC lighters, and cake sprinkles on the List of Every Damn Thing.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook). We also have a subreddit!SHOW NOTES:Phil talks about how he uses antiquated stoner terminology to describe the workings of asthma inhalers. It's not that he's committed to the stoner lifestyle but that they have the best terms for describing things like that. "This albuterol is cashed." "You can have green hit on this Xopenex."Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn starred in Foul Play which is pretty good and is set in San Francisco. When Phil lived in NYC he was homesick and made it a point to watch movies set in SF. Jake surmises the name of the movie is Lucky Chances Casino, which is the name of a Bay Area casino.We talk about a lot of Bill Murray movies, including Caddyshack, Meatballs, Stripes, Ghostbusters, The Razor’s Edge, Little Shop of Horrors, Ghostbusters 2, Groundhog Day, Quick Change, Mad Dog and Glory, Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, Lost in Translation and Where the Buffalo Roam (which is the one we couldn’t remember the name of, where he plays Hunter S. Thompson).We also discuss Scrooged, which screenwriter Michael O'Donoghue considered his greatest work. It was directed by Richard Donner (Lethal Weapon, Superman, the Twilight Zone episode where William Shatner sees a gremlin on the side of the plane) who had much broader sensibilities. "We wrote a fucking masterpiece. We wrote It Happened One Night. We wrote a story that could make you laugh and cry. You would have wanted to share it with your grandchildren every fucking Christmas for the next hundred years. The finished film was a piece of unadulterated, unmitigated shit." Bill Murray voiced the titular role in the Garfield movie (and the sequel Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties). He agreed to do it because he saw it was written by Joel Cohen and thought it was Joel Coen (who made– with his brother– Raising Arizona, Miller's Crossing, the Big Lebowski, Hudsucker Proxy and Fargo). The documentary that Jake watched about Murray’s real-life antics is called The Bill Murray Stories: Life Lessons Learned from a Mythical Man.  Bill Paxton rules as Chet in Weird Science. Bruce Springsteen wrote “Hungry Heart” for the Ramones and “Because the Night” was written for Patti Smith.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:48 Hrs. * Saturday Night Live * Dan Aykroyd * Jim Carrey * Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania * “Macho Man” Randy Savage * minor league baseball * Shaquille O’Neal * Klaus Nomi * “Weird Al” Yankovic * triangle pizza * pie * Zippos * nail clippers * anti-diarrhea medicine * firefighters * cake * glitter * scatting * Oreos * feeding cats like babiesBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:245. Jon Voight - person246. Hank Williams, Jr - person247. British Royal Family - institution248. Steven Seagal - person249. McRib - food250. death - idea251. war - idea252. cigarettes - drug253. QAnon - idea254. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Feb 24 2022
42 mins
80. Texas, Shaq, Sandals With Socks
Recent Texas transplant and friend-of-the-pod Ching helps Phil & Jake rank the Lone Star State, basketball legend Shaquille O’Neal, and the controversial fashion choice of sandals with socks on the List of Every Damn Thing.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook). We also have a subreddit!SHOW NOTES: Chopped & screwed is a subgenre of music pioneered by the late DJ Screw for remixes. It's slowed down and looped. So here's kiss me through the phone by Soulja Boy, and Girl by Paul Wall the People's Champ chopped and screwed. Shipley’s Donuts is a Houston-based donut chain that Phil only knows about from the Houston airport. On top of reciting the regular the Pledge of Allegiance every day, Ching’s kids also have to pledge allegiance to the Texas state flag. In addition, they have to sing “Deep in the Heart of Texas” for their school show (when they should be singing “California Love” by 2Pac & Dre). Johnny Dang is a Houston-based Jeweler known for making absurd grills. He's the Houston equivalent of Jacob the Jeweler.We rattle off a lot of important names in Texas music, including under-recognized Outlaw Country pioneer Billy Joe Shaver, rap legends Geto Boys, post-hardcore punk visionaries At the Drive-In, and Queen of Tehano Selena.Texas-inspired songs mentioned include “Waiting for a Train” by Jimmie Rodgers, “El Paso” by Marty Robbins, “Luckenbach Texas” by Waylon Jennings and “Amarillo By Morning” by George Strait.We discuss many locations on the map of Texas, such as Houston, El Paso, South Padre Island and Hill Country.Jake mentions the film subgenre Texas Noir, of which No Country for Old Men is a good example. Even though they’re crime-related movies set in Texas, it’s probably a stretch to include Bonnie & Clyde and Bottle Rocket in this category. Stephon Marbury was the real-life inspiration for the character of Jesus Shuttlesworth in He Got Game. He's kind of nuts and got the Knicks to buy him out of his contract by eating vaseline on camera.Whoa the villain in Steel is Judd Nelson!Ex-NBA player Sam Casell used to pantomime having freakishly large testicles (similar to Buster  Gonad's) as a celebration.Here’s Shaq chillin’ with The General. And here’s DJ Deisel.Here’s Bill Paxton in True Lies.Casual footwear discussed includes Crocs, Birkenstocks and Tevas.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:tennis * California * South by Southwest * queso * wine * basketball * football * Mendocino County * Caddyshack * shirtless men wearing elaborate angel wings, gold lamé shorts & furry cha-cha heels * Chinatown in San Francisco * land * Popeye * LeBron James * dilapidated shacks * race car drivers * “Macho Man” Randy Savage * Blade * Bon Jovi * nail clippers * Shakira * bricks * pedicures * capitalism * pigeons * Howard the Duck * Hulk Hogan * Reese’s Ultimate Peanut Butter Lovers Cup * Band-Aids as fashion * cigarettesBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:242. Jon Voight - person243. Hank Williams, Jr - person244. British Royal Family - institution245. Steven Seagal - person246. McRib - food247. death - idea248. war - idea249. cigarettes - drug250. QAnon - idea251. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Feb 17 2022
51 mins
79. "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Klaus Nomi, Plackers Dental Flossers
Phil, Jake & Jason rank pro wrestling icon “Macho Man” Randy Savage, New Wave vaudevillian Klaus Nomi, and Plackers Dental Flossers on the List of Every Damn Thing.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook). We also have a subreddit!SHOW NOTES:Jake instructs listeners to send collectible clown figurine intel on to Jason on Instagram (@rehog), but it’s probably better to tweet at him (@JasonMarmor) since you can't post links on IG.As he mentions in the episode, years ago when Phil was unemployed he saw an ad on Craigslist looking for a man to sit on balloons and pop them. This is a fairly common kink it turns out. It's a big world!Professional wrestling personalities mentioned include Hulk Hogan, Miss Elizabeth, Sensational Sherri, Ric Flair, Dusty Rhodes, “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig, The Rockers, The Rock, Rowdy Roddy Piper and New Jack. When Phil says “Vince” he’s of course talking about Vince McMahon. Slim Jims still feature Randy Savage in their marketing! Phil refers to them as “beef jerky” but they’re made out of chicken. Here’s an awesome remix of the “Art thou bored?” commercial that Jake loves so much.Dexters’s Lab was a cartoon in the 90s about a genius boy. He had a pet monkey that often had his own adventures in a superhero milieu, including this episode w/ Randy Savage, which draws heavily from an old Ben Grimm (aka The Thing) comic book.The American Dream's Hard Times promo is just a fantastic piece of work.Macho Man’s “Speaking from the Heart” song from Wrestlemania: The Album is also quite incredible. The Hulk Hogan diss track from his 2003 rap album is pretty cool too.Here’s the scene from the 2002 Spider-Man movie that features Randy Savage (with a side of Bruce Campbell).Is Jessica Rabbit more popular than Randy Savage on Google trends? They're comparable but every so often, Jessica Rabbit interests spikes. We discuss saxophone in rock music, as embodied by Tim Capello aka the buff sax player from Lost Boys & the Tina Turner video. Stacy Martin is the tattoo artist who did Jason’s Klaus Nomi tattoo.Jake mentions German Expressionist cinema, which includes Metropolis and many other great (mostly silent) films.Here’s the clip of Nomi backing up David Bowie on Saturday Night Live.The surgeon from Prince & the Revolution is named Doctor Fink.Jake originally thought the Klaus Nomi character on The Venture Bros. was supposed to be the guy from Prodigy. The Nomi Song is a documentary that Jason recommends if you want to cry.Nomi is sampled in “Beloved Freak” by Garbage.Here’s the Nomi cover of “You Don’t Own Me”.There’s some pickle talk, including the controversy around the bread & butter variety.We get on a bit of a Jewel tangent, including her being the inspiration for a shaving product made by Schick (not Gillette), her song (and video) “Intuition”, her appearance on Undercover Boss and her recent tweet about Joe Rogan.The Blindspotting TV show is great. Subscribe to Starz for a month to watch it. No comment And Just Like That (don’t tell Jason).ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:kayfabe * meat snacks * “Weird Al” Yankovic * “Macho Man” by The Village People * Popeye * Dan Aykroyd * cubed ice * the Marx Brothers * Keith Haring * Jean-Michel Basquiat * Joey Arias * Pee-Wee Herman * Harry Styles * Bruce Springsteen * Bill Paxton * Shakira * flossing * water picks * nail clippers * marriage * earplugs * Steve Jobs * the Steel Magnolias rebootBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:239. Jon Voight - person240. Hank Williams, Jr - person241. British Royal Family - institution242. Steven Seagal - person243. McRib - food244. death - idea245. war - idea246. cigarettes - drug247. QAnon - idea248. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan, Phil Green & Jason Marmor.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Feb 10 2022
47 mins
78. Mini-Trucks, Fritch's Mustache, Green Day's Kerplunk! (w/ Jade Puget)
Phil & Jake are joined by friend-of-the-pod Jade Puget (from AFI and Blaqk Audio) to rank mini-trucks, the enigmatic historical curiousity known as "Fritch's mustache", and the Green Day album Kerplunk! on the List of Every Damn Thing.Follow Jade on Instagram (@jadepuget) and Twitter (@jadepuget). AFI will be touring in 2022; don't miss their new album Bodies. And Blaqk Audio is playing shows too.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook). We also have a subreddit!SHOW NOTES:Jade and Jake are both proud graduates of Mendocino College, where they could be found playing Terminator 2: Judgment Day pinball in the Eagle’s Nest circa 1993.There’s some talk of The Crappy, which was the name given to the house (in our hometown of Ukiah, California) where Jake lived and all his friends hung out.West Side Ukiah (aka “the good side of Dora”) is the Ukiah neighborhood where Phil grew up. It's above sea level. Jake and Jade were from the much-grittier streets of Empire Gardens and The Meadows, respectively.“Sudden Impact” was the name of both a mysterious drifter as well as his awesome mini-truck. It’s also the name of the white-guy group in the “Motownphilly” video. Their album never got released. There's a podcast about them but we haven't listened to it.“Motownphilly” is of course by Boyz II Men, not Bell Biv DeVoe as Jake claims; though Michael Bivins did produce the song, and does the rap in it.We talk about 2 Live Crew, a rap group from Miami who were especially dirty and loved bass. Here's "Pop that Coochie" to give you some idea of what they were up to. We also mention “Ditty” by Paperboy.The mustache photo under discussion was printed on the CD of D Is For Delinquent by Jade’s early band Loose Change (with Chon Travis). Another early band of Jade’s that we mention is Influence 13 (with Nick 13).“Continuity of self” is the sense of self-continuity that represents the ability to perceive oneself as an entity that extends both backwards into the past and forwards into the future. This sense allows individuals to view themselves as being the same, despite the tremors induced by time and environment.Jake was the lead in the musical Li'l Abner in high school. Phil was in the play too in a small role. The end of one of Jake's songs was Phil's cue to come on the stage, so Phil listened to Jake sing it many times and sometimes gets it stuck in his head.Jake is not as into the Doggystyle album art as Phil accuses him of being. Green Day songs discussed include “2000 Light Years Away” and “Dominated Love Slave”. We also mention their record 39/Smooth, the Sweet Children EP and Dookie.Other albums discussed include the Beastie Boys’ Paul’s Boutique and Nirvana’s Nevermind. Green Apple Books (Jade calls it “Red Apple Books”) is a world-class bookstore on Clement Street in San Francisco. Phil briefly worked there but it turned out wasn't suited to retail work. Turn It Around: The Story of East Bay Punk is a great documentary about the scene that Green Day was a part of in their early years.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:Bad Boy Club * Taco Bell * dong bongs * Double Stuf Oreos * Lincoln Logs * PG-13 * the Volkswagen “Bug” * Spaceballs * Warner Bros large-graphic cartoon t-shirts * identity * anti-nostalgia * poison oak * Howard the Duck * Barry Bonds * Theodore Roosevelt * Hulk Hogan * Ice Cube * album sequencing * Tré Cool * Watchmen (comic book) * bicycles * “Midnight Train to Georgia” by Gladys Knight & the Pips * Harry Styles * picklesBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:236. Jon Voight - person237. Hank Williams, Jr - person238. British Royal Family - institution239. Steven Seagal - person240. McRib - food241. death - idea242. war - idea243. cigarettes - drug244. QAnon - idea245. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Feb 3 2022
50 mins
77. Bob Saget, Oysters, Being A Know-It-All, Marriage, Toilet Humor, Expresso with an X, Chest Hair
It's another lightning wife-ening episode as Phil & Jake's better halves Beth & Ali return to rank Bob Saget (R.I.P.), oysters, being a know-it-all, marriage, toilet humor, expresso with an “X”, and chest hair on the List of Every Damn Thing.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook). We also have a subreddit!SHOW NOTES:As they brag about in the episode, Jake & Ali recently held one-day-old lambs at Toluma Farms in Sonoma County.If you only watch the show's opening credits, Full House really just seems like a tourism ad for San Francisco. Danny Tanner was America’s Dad for Beth & Ali, whereas Phil & Jake’s America was raised by Bill Cosby.Phil & Jake talk about a Bob Saget scene in the movie Dirty Work, but they really mean the movie Half-Baked.Here's the Saget bit that Beth watched where he talks about his dad's dirty jokes.Saget gets extra consideration for his work with the Scleroderma Research Foundation.Here’s Saget’s part in The Aristocrats, and here’s the Gilbert Gottfried part. We apologize in advance.Ali mentions that a few hours before recording this episode, she and Jake enjoyed some oysters at The Marshall Store (on California’s Tomales Bay). Jake mentions that a few years ago, they shucked their own oysters at Buck Bay Oyster Farm (on Washington State’s Orcas Island). They've indulged in oysters in many places, but not yet at The Shuckery (in Beth & Phil’s home town of Petaluma, CA).It’s an ongoing debate as to whether vegans should justify eating oysters. Amy Schneider was Jeopardy! champion until we jinxed her by talking about it on the podcast (which was recorded two days before she lost). She’s the most successful woman ever to compete on the game show. She’s the good kind of know-it-all.Jake tried to look up the German "scheisse" song that Beth mentions, but all he could find was this Lady Gaga song.Here’s Los Punkitos performing “Caca Culo Pedo Pis”.Phil & Beth are targeted by this Fabreze ad with miniature toilets.Phil talks about Eddie Murphy doing toilet humor in his early act, which is recounted in “Eddie Murphy Raw”.We’re still the first full page of search results when you Google shirtless men wearing elaborate angel wings, gold lamé shorts & furry cha-cha heels.We bring up saxophone in rock music, inciting Beth to vocalize the sax riff from “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty (which is, contrary to Phil's opinion, rock music).This episode is the second time that Jake has given a free plug to Fort Point’s Sfizio Italian Style Pilsner.The X-Men come up a couple of times in this episode, including when Jake speculates that– in light of Beth’s pubic hair definitions– Beast is covered in pubic hair, because mutant powers manifest at puberty. Of course, Beast’s full-body fur was part of a post-puberty secondary mutation, so Jake’s wrong on this one.Chest hair-y men discussed include Burt Reynolds, Tom Selleck and Sam Elliot. Here’s a bonus pic of young Sam Elliot from the Mission: Impossible TV show.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:America’s Funniest Home Videos * Lente Loco *  Cheech & Chong * “Weird Al” Yankovic * Dan Aykroyd * Jessica Rabbit * the Watchmen TV series * Sir Topham Hatt * pearls * food poisoning * shucking * Popeyes chicken * dippin’ sauce * experts * feeding cats like babies * Daylight Saving Time * Jenny McCarthy * middle school * kids in restaurants * “Dancing Queen” by ABBA * A-shirts aka “wifebeaters” * scatting * farts * diarrhea * whoopie cushions * skorts * The Three Stooges * puns * Trading Places * bricks * Spaceballs * Tommy Bahama shirtsBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:233. Jon Voight - person234. Hank Williams, Jr - person235. British Royal Family - institution236. Steven Seagal - person237. McRib - food238. death - idea239. war - idea240. cigarettes - drug241. QAnon - idea242. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Jan 27 2022
48 mins
76. Charli XCX, Doctor Doom, Mycology
Phil & Jake rank pop singer-songwriter Charli XCX, supervillain Doctor Doom, and the science of mycology on the List of Every Damn Thing.If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook). We also have a subreddit!SHOW NOTES:Phil said that Ludacris signed Justin Bieber but in reality Ludacris was just featured on Bieber’s first single. Phil had Bieber confused with Chingy again.As Jake notes, Charli XCX is probably most known from songs where she’s a featured guest. We discuss many of these, including “I Love It” by Icona Pop (feat. Charli XCX), “Fancy” by Iggy Azalea (feat. Charli XCX) and “Drop That Kitty” by Ty Dolla $ign (feat. Charli XCX & Tinashe). That last song is relevant to Phil because he lives with a cat now.Of course we also talk about some songs with Charli XCX as the main artist, including “Boom Clap”, “Break the Rules”, “Vroom Vroom”, “pink diamond”, “After the Afterparty” (feat. Lil Yachty), “1999” (with Troye Sivan) and “New Shapes” (feat. Christine and the Queens and Caroline Polachek). Jake thinks that last song sounds like the end of “Shock to Your System” by Tegan & Sara. “Same Old Love” by Selena Gomez was written by Charli XCX, and as Phil notes sounds like “You Showed Me” by the Turtles. SOPHIE (RIP) was a producer who worked with Charli XCX.Jake and Phil agree that “Waterfalls” by TLC is one of the worst songs. WebMD says synesthesia is real.Here’s a pretty good Doctor Doom reading list. It includes the following stories that we mention in this episode: Secret Wars (1984), Emperor Doom, Dr. Strange & Dr. Doom: Triumph and Torment and Secret Wars (2015).It’s hard to talk about Doctor Doom without talking about the Marvel Comics' Fantastic Four, the title characters of “"The World's Greatest Comic Magazine!"Jake knew that a lame Doctor Doom was feature in the first two Fantastic Four movies from 20th Century Fox, but wasn’t sure about the 2015 reboot. Research shows that Doom is, in fact, in it (but with the “Doctor” part of his name removed).Here’s the pic of Doctor Doom with Sub-Mariner’s horn that Phil refers to.Here’s a bias-confirming article about Darth Vader borrowing from Doctor Doom. Voice of Latveria is a great podcast dedicated to all things Doom.Phil's not a Family Guy fan but he found this relevant clip while looking for Wile E. Coyote videos to show his dad.Phil ponders “Has there ever been a female Doom?” There seem to be women who dress up as Doom but without the mask which defeats the point.Watch Fantastic Fungi for a fun primer on mycology.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:imagination * Santa Claus * Britney Spears * PC Music * Lady Gaga * Harry Styles * Bon Jovi * Run the Jewels * Dan Aykroyd * Blade * the Romani * Doombots * Latveria * Bond films * Stan Lee & Jack Kirby * Large Marge * Magneto * Punisher skulls * Reed Richards * Cher * cats * Mendocino County * psilocybin * Quorn * mold * blue cheese * penicillin * metatextuality * The Matrix * firefightersBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodDoctor Doom - fictional characterCher - personBOTTOM TEN:226. Jon Voight - person227. Hank Williams, Jr - person228. British Royal Family - institution229. Steven Seagal - person230. McRib - food231. death - idea232. war - idea233. cigarettes - drug234. QAnon - idea235. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Jan 20 2022
53 mins
75. Pickles, Sir Topham Hatt, Coffee (w/ Dave Hause)
Phil, Jake and Jason are reunited with bud-of-the-pod Dave Hause to rank pickles and Sir Topham Hatt (from Thomas & Friends) on the List of Every Damn Thing. Plus coffee gets re-ranked!Follow Dave on Instagram (@davehause), Twitter (@hausedave) and Facebook (DaveHauseMusic). We love his critically-acclaimed new album Blood Harmony, and so will you (it's on Spotify & Apple Music). Hopefully you can see him play live near you!If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook). We also have a subreddit!SHOW NOTES:Here’s Dave’s USA Today piece about Taylor Swift being “infinitely more punk rock” than him.Jason and Jake praise the song “Gary” from Dave’s new record, because it’s an incredible song.We note that our last episode featured Dave’s brother Tim Hause. The two brothers collaborated on Blood Harmony, as well as on Tim Hause's recently-recorded album (coming out later this year).We successfully deduce that sauerkraut is both a pickled and fermented food (the same goes for kimchi).Here’s a Southern Living article about how Texans– and only Texans– eat pickles at the movie theater.We discuss different types of pickles, such as cornichons and bread-and-butter pickles (the latter of which apparently got their name because they were good for bartering for staple food items).Here’s Hannibal Buress' pickle juice bit wherein he confesses "I have a surplus of pickle juice in my apartment".We talk about Dave being a transplant from Philadelphia. Did you know that the city's name literally means "Brother Love" in Greek? Why doesn't this get mentioned more?Guy Fieri is the prime minister of Sonoma County, where Phil lives. Phil says that all businesses in the county have a picture of Fieri on the wall, and he eats and drinks for free by law.Jason uses “onion murder” as an argument for ranking pickles higher than onions. Research shows that a guy in India was once killed for onions, but it's not fair to blame the onions for this. Maybe the guy who died in a tragic accident while harvesting onions could be blamed on the onions.Phil ponders on the nature of Thomas' sentience, and whether his consciousness is a gestalt of the train itself and the humans that operate it. Jake compares it to Voltron.Sir Tophamm Hatt is originally from The Railway Series books by Wilbert & Christopher Awdry, but our frame of reference is mostly the Thomas & Friends TV show (featuring, of course, the titular star Thomas the Tank Engine). Paul Giamatti, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Patrick Stewart and Brian Cox are our nominees for portraying a live-action Topham Hatt.We shout-out some of our favorite coffee companies: Time & Tide Coffee (Biddeford, ME), Timeless Coffee (Oakland, CA) and Black Oak Coffee (Ukiah, CA). We also give praise to the Blue Danube Coffee House on Clement Street in San Francisco.ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:having COVID * escabeche * Grillo’s pickles * Christmas ornaments * cucumbers * onions * Dolly Parton * Watchmen (comic) * the Golden Gate Bridge * Pompeii * It’s-It * volcanoes * Popeye * Blade * The British Royal Family * capitalism * E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial * Charmander * goats * VW Bugs * Carthage * cold brew shandy * Star Wars * coffee enemas * Mendocino County * bicycles * The Monk of Mokha by Dave EggersBelow are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).TOP TEN:Dolly Parton - personinterspecies animal friends - ideasex - ideabicycles - toolcoffee - beverageClement Street in San Francisco - locationPrince - personIt’s-It - foodCher - persondogs - animalBOTTOM TEN:223. Jon Voight - person224. Hank Williams, Jr - person225. British Royal Family - institution226. Steven Seagal - person227. McRib - food228. death - idea229. war - idea230. cigarettes - drug231. QAnon - idea232. transphobia - ideaTheme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.Email us at list@everydamnthing.net.
Jan 6 2022
53 mins