PODCAST

Let's Just Face It

Rakel Colina

If you’ve been struggling in your relationship, there could be more to it than meets the eye. I’m your host Rakel Colina and for years I was in a very toxic relationship, which I didn’t recognize as abusive until the day I left. I am here to help you take a look and recognize their abusive patterns and behaviors, but this is not just about them. Let’s just face it is not only about seeing through their masks, but about helping you see through the issues that could be holding you back from being the best version of you. Ladies, let’s tear down the walls that could be holding you back from moving forward and living your best life, even after abuse. “Facing small fears can lead to big changes” – Rakel Colina

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Nov 28 2020
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77. Why I keep falling into toxic relationships...
2d ago
77. Why I keep falling into toxic relationships...
Have you ever felt that you seem to be falling into the same kind of toxic relationships? Does it seem that everyone you meet seems to have the same kind of toxic traits or seems very familiar with the previous one? At times we seem to fall into a pattern of finding the same type of people over and over and in this episode, I can tell you why. I will be talking about the three main reasons why we keep repeating the same patterns and what you can do about this. For Come to rise coaching, click here
76. The media has it all wrong!
Jun 16 2022
76. The media has it all wrong!
I have a message tugging in my heart for you. I believe the media is trying to tell the victims of domestic abuse that no one will be believed because ONE woman lost her case against a powerful man, as they want to portray it. The message is clear, but it's not the message the media is showing. The media is showing that a woman should be believed no matter what. The media is saying that only women can be victims and men cannot. This is the wrong message and is also a very dangerous message to take to such a wide audience. The message that should be sweeping the nation should be, to tell the truth, no matter your gender. The message should be that as long as you are telling the truth, you should come forward. The message should be to NEVER stay silent, but that's not the message. WHY? Abuse comes in many different shapes and sizes, and now we finally recognize that it comes in different genders...THAT should be the message.   Want to know if you're relationship is toxic, click here Instagram, click here (this is a new account, I lost my other one) One on one coaching, click here
75. Why does it seem we are all Team Johnny?
May 27 2022
75. Why does it seem we are all Team Johnny?
It seems everywhere I go, we are all Team Johnny. In this episode, I go into detail as to why I believe that is. This trial has been more than a trial about one of our favorite all-time starts being put on the stand. This trial has been about how a man came forward to talk about abuse. It has given many a new view on what abuse/ domestic violence is. Abuse has no gender, and that has to be the message. #MENTOO For information about 1:1 coaching, go here
74. Amber's lies and the smear campaign
May 12 2022
74. Amber's lies and the smear campaign
Today's episode is more on the Johnny vs Amber story, but today I will talk about the smear campaign she has created and what we see in the court, on the internet, and in research. I'm going to be digging a little deeper into what a smear campaign consists of and what it looks like. We are being bombarded with a smear campaign right before our eyes and it seems like the perfect teaching moment. **Stay until the end for a recording between Amber & Johnny that proves how she planned the smear campaign. She literally tells it all. To get The Break Away Journal, click here Instagram, click here RakelColina.com
73. Johnny Depp and domestic violence
May 5 2022
73. Johnny Depp and domestic violence
In today's episode, I talk about what's going on in the court with Johnny Depp. I am not talking about his defamation trial, but going over what has been brought up during the past couple of weeks. As you might already know, his ex-wife wrote a piece about the abuse she endured during her relationship with him. During the past few weeks in court, there has been a lot of evidence submitted to prove that he was in fact the victim of domestic violence by her. I go over a few audios used during his testimony to show what certain acts of domestic abuse sound and might look like for a better understanding that domestic violence does not have to involve any physical abuse. To get The Break Away Journal, click here Instagram, click here RakelColina.com     *Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the recordings used in this episode **Recordings used for educational purposes only
72. You could not have seen it coming
Apr 21 2022
72. You could not have seen it coming
When you leave an abusive, toxic narcissistic relationship, you tell yourself "I wish you would have seen it." "I wish you would have seen the red flags." "I wish I would have noticed what was going on in my relationship." I was so stupid that I couldn't see who he was or what he was doing to me, but let me tell you something, it's very simple... There's no way the unhealed version of you could have known who this person was. If you need more of an understanding of what you have been through to move toward healing, you can get The Break Away Journal, here For information on 1:1 coaching, click here
71. Creating an exit strategy
Apr 14 2022
71. Creating an exit strategy
Our homes are supposed to be where we feel safest but for some of us, that's not the case. It can be very daunting to love a person that doesn't make you feel you are safe when they are in your surroundings. I know exactly how this feels but leaving is not always the best option, at the time. Most of the time you have to make the moves while your partner is unaware. This exit strategy plan has been created with the basic needs to move out slowly while making sure it's done safely and you don't forget the "small" things. You can get the exit strategy plan, here If you need more of an understanding of what you have been through to move toward healing, you can get The Break Away Journal, here
70. You don't need closure
Apr 7 2022
70. You don't need closure
You don't need closure. The closure will put you in harm's way, but will never get you what you need. You're not dealing with a person that has a personality disorder and will not function as you. When you seek closure you are searching for reason and explanations that this person cannot give you, but you are putting yourself in a place to be pulled into another cycle of abuse. You know how hard it was to leave, don't put yourself in that position again. What you need is to understand what you have been through and how it has affected you. You can go to thebreakwayjournal.com and see if the journal is a good fit to start your healing journey. The Break Away Journal can be found here For Coaching, click here
69. Mental health & abusive relationships
Mar 31 2022
69. Mental health & abusive relationships
I used to think that mental health referred to as having mental issues. It referred to people that suffered from things like schizophrenia, PTSD, hallucinations, or any personality disorders. Maybe because of the way I was brought up, I never thought of mental health as something that we all have to take care of and something that is normal to think about. I never thought of anything like this until my mental health started to decline, at least the moment that I started to notice. Being in a toxic environment and an abusive relationship surely qualifies as an event that affects your mental health in a big scale. But everything around us affects our mental health. I share with you the 6 tips I have been using to enhance my mental health this past few weeks. Come to Rise coaching program, click here Episode 17. Gaslighting - What is it, and how to recognize it, click here Episode 38. Emotional abuse can cause brain damage, click here
68. I never thought I'd be free from my abuser
Mar 24 2022
68. I never thought I'd be free from my abuser
Last Friday was March 18th and for the first time in many years, it came to mind that it was the day I left my toxic relationship. Mentally and emotionally I had left months ago, but physically I was still there. I was not taking any of his love-bombing, nor trying to connect in any way, but I was still there. Women leave a relationship a long time before they actually walk away and even though it takes a lot to walk out. When we are set and done, there's no changing our mind no matter how bad it hurts. If you're mom, you know that when we see it affect them, that's the moment we pick up and leave, it was the same with me. It took months of feeling I needed to go and planning how I was ever going to make it in this world. I made it it wasn't easy, but it was possible. You need to invest in yourself, whether it's time, money or work.   To learn more about the Come to Rise Coaching, click here To access the free guide, click here To find me on IG, click here
67. I am staying for the kids
Mar 17 2022
67. I am staying for the kids
I am staying for the kids. A lot of times we make the wrong decision, stay in a relationship because of our kids. Because we believe that it is better for them to have two parents together. Then just be pushed around from one parent to another parent. The thing is that that is not always the case. Sometimes we stay for the kids. Because we have no idea of what else to say or what else to do. Some people actually think that because they say they're staying for the kids that are making a good decision. When you say you're staying for the kids. That actually means three different things, at least. 1. You are staying for you 2. You believe he can change 3. You are afraid of the uncertainty In this episode, I dig deeper into these reasons and more. Come to Rise 1:1 Coaching, click here Instagram, click here
66. Hoovering and why narcissists use this
Mar 10 2022
66. Hoovering and why narcissists use this
Hoovering is also known as emotional blackmail as part of the emotional abuse provoked by a narcissist, it happens when they think they're losing control of you. It's an attempt to reactivate the connection to make you engage with them once again for another cycle of abuse. The name hoovering comes from Hoover, the vacuum cleaner brand. Meaning the narcissists sucks the happiness out of you to fuel their supply. It may look like you're being manipulated through a relationship you didn't want to be with because they start threatening you by becoming suicidal or causing self-harm. Hoovering might be displayed in many different ways, but it all leads to rekindling the connection between the two of you. It's an emotional manipulation to get you to react and re-engage. To learn more about the COME TO RISE coaching program, apply here For questions, contact me on Instagram here
65. Stop demonizing the narcissist
Mar 3 2022
65. Stop demonizing the narcissist
I had somebody comment on my Instagram page that said to stop demonizing the narcissist, to stop talking bad about them. Well, The only thing that I can believe is that this was another narcissist on the other end and he or she felt that they were attacked and they didn't like it. I said, if this is not something you believe in, you can just scroll away, because this is the thing; there's a lot of trolls out there and they just want to look for fights with just about anybody. We all have some kind of mental health issue, we are all dealing with some kind of trauma, difference is that we work with trauma differently. Narcissists decide to use their trauma, to abuse people. One on one Coaching, go to cometorise.com Instagram, click here
64. Fast cars & the narcissist
Feb 23 2022
64. Fast cars & the narcissist
The reason why I decided to talk about this today is that I had a memory triggered. I heard someone on TikTok talk about the same topic and all of a sudden I had a rush of memories and I needed to bring this out to you. I never realized how an abuser could use a fast car as part of the abuse patterns. I don't think I even noticed it until it happened to me in a manner that was more open and clearer in my mind. Due to the nature of abuse, we forget details of the abuse we endured. The first person that I ever liked that liked fast cars used to take me racing with him all the time. It was him that opened this door for me. What I didn't realize was that abusers use this as a manipulation tool. Fast cars can be used as a form of control, you'll hear all about it in today's episode. Come to Rise Coaching Program, click here DM on Instagram HERE
63. Your intuition and why you should never ignore it
Feb 17 2022
63. Your intuition and why you should never ignore it
Our intuition is also referred to as our gut feeling. It's our body trying to tell us, without our own awareness, the mental process of this information. This is something that we all have inside of us and we have to learn to listen to it because it was built in us for a reason. Our intuition is here is to guide us to better paths, but because it doesn't fit what we want or what we see, we tend to ignore it. What we have to learn is that ignoring the signals our body is giving, always comes and bites you in the ass. I knew at the beginning of my first toxic relationship there was something off. I knew since that very moment that we spoke that there was something that I should have been paying attention to. I am sure that this happened to you too. Don't forget to share this episode with a friend and I would appreciate it if you could leave a review.  To get your copy of The Break Away Journal, click here You can always reach me at @rakelcolina on Instagram
62 - This is the year I took my narcissistic ex on vacation with me
Feb 10 2022
62 - This is the year I took my narcissistic ex on vacation with me
In this episode, I talk about the last vacation I took and how I unknowingly took my narcissistic ex along with us. My ex seems to still want to know where I am and with whom. Since I started spending time with someone else, he decided he needed to keep tabs on me. The funny thing is how he did it. He'll go through anyone just to get what they want and don't care who he drags along for the process. He tried to be slick and the funny thing is that I always catch him. I no longer interfere in his relationship with our son, but everything always gets back to me and I always find out about everything. Whether through an insider or outsider.  I was not comfortable at all with the fact that he was there all the time and every day, but because my son is older now, I didn't engage. This year the word I'm sticking to is PEACE. The Break-Away journal can be found HERE "Remember facing small fears can lead to big changes" - Rakel The 1:1 coaching application is HERE To reach me on IG, click HERE
61. 5 ways isolation can help you heal
Feb 3 2022
61. 5 ways isolation can help you heal
Healing requires isolation, the problem is that we go through different childhood traumas and toxic, abusive relationships, but we have no idea that we need to isolate ourselves to heal. You need people to support you in your journey, but you need to take the time to isolate yourself to be able to process the things that are happening inside you and around you. Even though it may sound like a contradiction you need your support just as much as you need to take the time to be with yourself, by yourself. We tend to want to drown the things that are within us with the things that are around us and while that might work sometimes, it's not recommended for the long haul. In this episode, I talk about 5 things you can do to make the best of your time while in isolation. When you face your struggles, it makes everything a little easier to handle.  If you would like to reach out to me, just send me a message on Instagram, you can find me at @rakelcolina Don't forget to use the share button and send it to a friend!
60. Using abuse to create avalanches with Leticia Blaque Rose
Jan 27 2022
60. Using abuse to create avalanches with Leticia Blaque Rose
Today's episode brings a very special guest, Leticia Blaque. We met online and I just fell in love with her story. We tend to believe that abuse is a certain way and at times we believe that it's only happening to us, but Leticia has a very different story because her story begins when she was very young. The trauma that she experienced within her own family unit took her on a spiral that affected her decisions from a very young age. She talks about how one comment from a family member at a very young age destroyed her belief system, the belief in herself. Taking her on a journey of looking for love and affection in all the wrong places, therefore falling in toxic relationship after toxic relationship. She felt she had to put with the abuse because there was nothing else. She felt she had no alternative route, and her situation and mindset kept her in the same kind of situation. Then one day, it all clicked for her. She was being arrested for something she didn't even know about and that was the moment it all started falling into place for her. Sometimes we have to fall to the bottom before we can recognize where we are and that happened to Leticia as well. Her story will show that you are not alone and you can get out. If Leticia was able to get back up, after all, she went through, anyone can. Using her abuse to create avalanches of positive results and a better life, and how you can do it too! You can reach her on Instagram here: blaqueroseaccountable/
59. He believes you deserve the abuse
Jan 20 2022
59. He believes you deserve the abuse
He thinks it's your fault!. You deserve the abuse because you allow it. You keep putting up with the abuse you don't even realize is going on, but because of that, you allow it. Most of the time when you're in the abuse, you don't seem to quite understand what is going on. Therefore are not open to seeing the abuse because you're confused and made to feel like you're going crazy and everything is your fault. Most of these abusive behaviors go unnoticed by us because we have no idea what we're looking for. When you're mentally and psychologically abused, you don't know that you're being abused because this is a strategy for them. It is done in a way that goes gradually and slowly. They don't want to scare you until they have hooked you. If at any given point in your relationship, you feel that your relationship is turning kind of ugly or it just doesn't sit right with you, use the guide that I've set up for you. You can go to rakelcolina.com/toxic By putting up with this abuse, you're just telling them that you're well aware of what is happening, whether you are or not, and that you're okay with this type of treatment. This is why you have to know what abuse actually is. In my book, The Break Away Journal, you can work through these to understand and work through what is going on. To get your copy, go to thebreakawayjournal.com Educate yourself! The more educated you get, the less you will put up with and eventually get out, heal and move on to your best life. Share this episode with a friend today. I know you know at least 1 person that may be going through this. Let's help spread the word.
58. Abuse is a choice
Jan 13 2022
58. Abuse is a choice
Did you know that abusive behavior is a choice? Think about this. You think it's because they can't control themselves and that's why they act with you like that. Right? Well, let me ask you this, how is it that they're not abusive at their jobs or with their friends? Or just when they go out in public? It is as simple as that. They most likely will be pretending to be something totally different to the outside world than what they're portraying or playing inside the home. Abusive behavior is a choice. Otherwise, they would abuse everyone outside of the home and it would be so obvious to everyone else, but because it happens when they choose it's something that you cannot predict. The Break Away Journal comes out as a published book on January 18th, if you want more information or simply want me to keep you updated when it comes out send me a DM on Instagram with the work BREAKAWAY For my Instagram, click here.