Savage Lovecast

Dan Savage

Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.

Savage Lovecast Episode 830
1w ago
Savage Lovecast Episode 830
A woman discovered that her 80 year-old father has been downloading porn, and it’s mucking up his computer. She *could* teach him about Pornhub and other streaming sites. But her father already spends too much time in front of a computer, and really could use some exercise and contact with people. Will more porn just isolate him further?  A dom man wants to do anal with his female sub. But she isn’t interested. How can he try to inspire her to be more game without invoking his dom status?  On the Magnum, the interview with beloved monkey pox expert Dr. Carlton Thomas begins innocently enough. Cases are coming down, as more gay men get vaccinated. Then he and Dan veer into wilder territory, and you don’t want to miss it.  A lesbian from Texas has a lot of tattoos. Is it too dangerous to send nudes when she can be so easily identified?  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. To get 25% off your first order of $15 or more, use promo code SAVAGE at checkout. Terms apply.  Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
Savage Lovecast Episode 826
Aug 23 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 826
A tantric tease gave his buddy a long, erotic, boner-ifying massage which the caller describes as the best non-penetrative sex he has had…ever. But the dude is in a monogamous relationship, and because there was no penetration, never considered it cheating. Now the caller is panting with lust and wants more.  A woman’s friend was dating a guy who claimed to be a recovering sex addict. But the caller discovered that he was concurrently dating another woman, telling both of them that they were his one and only. Having learned this, the friend is not quite ready to DTMFA. How can the caller help to get her there?  On the Magnum, Dan politely spars with Katherine Dee, an internet writer who has been following some key players in the “sex negativity movement.” How can we reconcile the promises of the sexual revolution with rising reports of female dissatisfaction? And here’s something you’ve never heard on the Lovecast: “There’s something wrong with you if you’re into bondage.” Somehow, Dan keeps his cool.  And, a bi woman with a boyfriend negotiated an open relationship. She started dating a woman. But when he started sexting with a woman himself, she realized she wasn’t quite ready for non-monogamy after all.  You ready? You sure? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. To get 50% off your first order of up to $15 value, use promo code SAVAGE at checkout when you spend $12 or more. Terms apply.
Savage Lovecast Episode 825
Aug 16 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 825
A polyamorous trilingual woman wants to explore dirty talk. Her lovers all speak different languages. But she finds that when she’s talking dirty in her mother tongue it sounds and feels more aggressive than she would like. Any multi-lingual dirty talkers out there with wisdom to share?  A bi woman and her man used to go to co-ed bathhouses. Once covid hit, they stopped. Now that there’s monkeypox to consider, should they stay out of this bathhouse? Or can they still go if they only play with each other while they’re there? Dan brings on medical writer Benjamin Ryan to go over some pros and cons.  On the Magnum, we present an interesting conundrum and an even more interesting guest. A 45 year-old woman’s parent came out as a trans woman a few years ago. The daughter uses she/her pronouns, but gets hung up when talking about the past. She remembers growing up with a father, not two mothers, and her parent encourages use of the word “dad” to refer to that time. But that’s hard! Dan brings on Chrissy Stroop, an exvangelical writer who came out as trans in 2019, and writes about religion and queer issues.  And, a woman in an open, trusting relationship couldn’t help herself and snooped over a long weekend, rummaging through her boyfriend’s phone. She didn’t find anything questionable, but when she went back to look at his What’sApp, she discovered he’d locked it. He never said anything to her about it. She feels stupid and guilty. Should she come clean? Or sit in the ickiness of her misdeed and vow to snoop no more?  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
Savage Lovecast Episode 824
Aug 9 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 824
A man is about to have his wedding. He and his fiancé are swingers, and he wants the whole wide world to know it. His fiancé is more reticent to let family members know. Should he tell his children that they will be staying at a swinger’s resort after the ceremony and that they plan to bang a couple of their wedding guests?  Monkey pox isn’t going anywhere folks. Dan brings back Dr. Carleton Thomas to talk about the vaccine, and how to communicate about it better.  On the Magnum, Dan brings back cherished cartoonist and mental health coach Ellen Forney to talk about mood disorders, and whether to leave your pills out by the bed. Forney’s books “Marbles” and “Rock Steady” are must-haves whether you have bipolar, love someone who does, or are just interested in the subject. And, meet a woman who embodies the concept of GGG with exceptional valor. Her boyfriend was delighted when she accidentally peed during sex and then asked if she would, well, you know,…poop. Her concern? She’s a giggler and worries she’ll laugh through the whole thing. Is this a fake call meant to invoke the expression “shits and giggles?” Maybe! But it’s podcast gold so…enjoy!  Q@Savage.Love.  206-302-2064 Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.
Savage Lovecast Episode 823
Aug 2 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 823
So many bi and adventurous queer men this week! A 61 year-old gay man has never, ever, ever been near a vagina since he emerged from one 6 decades ago…until now. He is seeing a trans man and finds he is loving pleasing him, but can’t quite make penetration work.  And, another gay man had a great time with a trans man. So much so, that he wants to start seeing cis women. Is he ethically obliged to tell them that he has been gay all his life?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Zachary Zane, aka BOYSLUT about being promiscuous in the age of monkeypox, and how to ask politely if the third in your three-way has gotten tested for STIs.  A bi man has been out there seeking casual sex. Is it appropriate to ask a hook-up partner what she would do if she got pregnant, despite their precautions?  Q@savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. To get 50% off your first order of up to $15 value, use promo code SAVAGE at checkout when you spend $12 or more. Terms apply.  This episode is brought to you by Framebridge. Framebridge makes it easier and more affordable than ever to frame your favorite things – without ever leaving the house. Get 15% off your first order at Framebrige.com when you use the code SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
Savage Lovecast Episode 822
Jul 26 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 822
My boyfriend is TOO HOT! A woman is dating a very gorgeous man. The ladies come running when they walk into the bar, and some of them get nasty. At first the caller found this an exciting turn-on. But now she just feels jealous and demoralized. How can she turn the jealousy into arousal?  A woman was perusing porn, and saw a man she is convinced is her ex. It’s been six years, and they parted amicably. She thinks it’s great that he’s doing this, but she feels compelled to let him know she saw it. Should she?  On the Magnum, we have Dr. Jen Gunter on to talk about the effect abortion bans are having on people’s libidos, and the desire to have kids at all.  A married man has a 4 year-old child that was conceived months into their relationship. In order to diagnose a medical condition the child has, he got some genetic testing done. He discovered that he is not the biological father. He loves his kid thoroughly and loves his fatherhood role. Should they tell the biological father? What if the bio-dad wants to swoop in and demand custody? His own parents cherish being grandparents. Should he tell them? Yowsers, right?  Of note! On Wednesday, we’ll have an extra Micro/Magnum about Monkeypox. Dr. Carlton Thomas has been in the trenches treating gay men, and it’s…well, it’s horrifying. And for Magnum subscribers, expect a new Sex & Politics!  Q@savage.love      206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Sakara. Makers of life-transforming, plant-rich super meals delivered to your door, ready-to-eat. Get 20% off your first order when you go to Sakara.com/Savage or enter code SAVAGE at checkout.  This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
Savage Lovecast Episode 821
Jul 19 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 821
A bisexual woman came out to her conservative mother, and amazingly, she didn’t flip out. But she did beg the caller to keep it secret from the rest of the family. Mommy thinks there should be white pride parades. The caller’s girlfriend is Black. What could go wrong? A transman likes violent sex, almost crossing the line from consensual non-consent into rape. His wife worries that he will resent her for objecting. Therapy for all! On the Magnum, anxious polyamorists rejoice! Our guest this week is Lola Phoenix, author of The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy. She and Dan talk about the societal pressure non-monogamous folks contend with, and how communication is elevated to an art when you have a bevy of metamours circling around.  A woman is enjoying a short term relationship with a man. She wants to try dom/sub action, specifically being worshiped as a goddess. He’s into it! So what’s the catch? He has erectile dysfunction and won’t get hard during this kind of play. His visual arousal is key to her feeling adored. What’s a goddess to do?  She did the right thing. She called 206-302-2064 or she recorded her question and sent it to Q@Savage.Love This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. To get 50% off your first order of up to $15 value, use promo code SAVAGE at checkout when you spend $12 or more. Terms apply.  This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.
Savage Lovecast Episode 820
Jul 12 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 820
A bi man in an open relationship is disgusted by sweat- his lover’s and his own. How can he mitigate his revulsion? A macho, macho man wants to know why he (or anyone) is into hot wifing. Dan breaks it down and spells it out.  On the Magnum, a man with cerebral palsy doesn’t have use of his hands, and cannot masturbate. Even worse, he lives in a small town, so sex workers are hard to find. Dan chats with disability awareness consultant Andrew Gurza, about sex with disability, and a special sex toy that Andrew created specially for folks like this. Get yourself a Bump’n Joystick or fund someone else who could use one here: guess who’s coming to the wedding? Why, it’s the grooms racist, homophobic, drunk mother! One of the bridesmaids is gay, and dating a trans woman. How can the caller avoid turning her very special day into the shit-show of the century?  Q@savagelovecast.com     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.
Savage Lovecast Episode 819
Jul 5 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 819
Look out, it’s a nibbler! A woman hates the way her new boyfriend kisses her. He nibbles on her lips even though she tells him to knock it off. Is this a worthy reason to dump him?  A married gay man and his husband are newly polyamorous. But the caller wants absolutely nothing to do with his husband’s boyfriend. The boyfriend keeps making friendly overtures, like inviting the caller to parties. Can the caller maintain a social wall keeping invaders out? Should he?  On the Magnum, learn a thing or two about monkeypox with Dr. Ina Park. Dr. Park, author of Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History and Surprising Secrets of STDs, explains how and why this new virus is something for gay men to pay particular attention to.  Meanwhile, a mid 50s woman keeps scoring and getting ghosted by much younger men. Is there something she’s doing wrong? Or right?  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 Support for the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by MANSCAPED™ , the best in men’s below-the-waist grooming. MANSCAPED™ offers precision-engineered tools for your family jewels. MANSCAPED™ just launched their fourth generation trimmer, The Lawn Mower® 4.0. Get 20% off and free worldwide shipping with the code: Lovecast at manscaped.com. This episode is brought to you by Framebridge. Framebridge makes it easier and more affordable than ever to frame your favorite things – without ever leaving the house. Get 15% off your first order at Framebrige.com when you use the code SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
Savage Lovecast Episode 818
Jun 28 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 818
A gay Irishman had a terribly unpleasant experience, when the man he was screwing twerked and gyrated until it felt like his dick was about to fall off. Is this a thing that’s happening? Or only on the Emerald Isle?  A singer is worried that rough oral sex could harm her vocal cords. But she shouldn’t worry because Dan somehow roped in Jamie Barton, a very delightful mezzo-soprano opera singer to offer her professional reassurance.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with former ugly duckling, current total hottie comedian David Drake. They talk about mining your personal life for comedic material, and whether getting jacked at a massage parlor constitutes cheating. Fun! And, a caller is convinced that some bad actors are hiding behind the poly label to justify cheating. Is she right? She just might be right! (She’s right.) Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 There are 2 more days to take advantage of our half off sale for new subscribers to the Magnum. Go to Savage.Love and enter the promo code: SavagePride 2022 This episode is brought to you by Hung Up-an original podcast about sex love and relationships, from Headspace hosted by Shan Boodram. Search for Hung Up in your podcast player. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
Savage Lovecast Episode 817
Jun 21 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 817
Kissing?! Blecchhh! A 33 year old woman is a bit of a late bloomer. She has just started dating, and likes to have sex. But the kissing? It disgusts her. Her shrink told her she just hasn’t met the right guy. But she knows better. She doesn’t like to kiss and that’s that. How can she tell her fellas this?  A bi woman is into daddy dom/little girl play. But she was incensed to see a warning on Porn Hub comparing her harmless kink to child pornography. Porn Hub is riddled with far darker stuff. Why Porn Hub, why?!! On the Magnum, Dan chats with the good Doctor Joe Kort, who coined the term “sides.” Sides are gay men who aren’t into anal sex (but do plenty of other things.) They talk about the weird reaction sides get from both gay and straight folks, and also about first loves, the unwarranted herpes stigma, and meet sleazys. You should listen to this conversation but we warn you- you’re gonna feel good… And, a woman wants Dan to call her dad and berate him for getting in so many toxic relationships and then complaining about it to his daughter. Will Dan call her father?  Q@savage.Love     206-302-2064 This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Sakara. Makers of life-transforming, plant-rich super meals delivered to your door, ready-to-eat. Get 20% off your first order when you go to Sakara.com/Savage or enter code SAVAGE at checkout.
Savage Lovecast Episode 816
Jun 14 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 816
Believe it or not, a straight male dom is struggling with how to be selfish in bed. As a dom, he learned to please his sub and obtain consent every step of the way. But his current girlfriend wants him to do whatever he wants. He just doesn’t know what that is… A mother overheard her daughter’s friend say she was bi. The mother wanted to pounce and avow her support and acceptance, but she said nothing. Should she say something super-nice next time?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with kindred spirit Ryan O’Connell from the Queer as Folk reboot. They talk about sex and dating with cerebral palsy and what to make of being fetishized for a disability. They also war over who coined “cumspringa” first. (It’s Dan.) Ryan is whipsmart and we all love him.  A woman has been with her boyfriend for 10 years. He’s straight as an arrow…when he’s sober. When he drinks he talks about wanting to be with men. He refuses to acknowledge that he has a touch of the queer in him. How can the caller get him to embrace this about himself and have him understand that it doesn’t really matter?  Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Framebridge. Framebridge makes it easier and more affordable than ever to frame your favorite things – without ever leaving the house. Get 15% off your first order at Framebrige.com when you use the code SAVAGE.
Savage Lovecast Episode 815
Jun 7 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 815
A woman has been with her boyfriend for one year. She knew he was into cam girls from the beginning of the relationship. But lately he watches cam girls all the time- even when they are having sex. Now that he is choosing cam girls over the caller, she’s beginning to wonder if there might be... a problem.  A man is coming to the end of his 9-year relationship with his girlfriend. But she is about to have surgery on her leg, and will need a lot of help. Is this a terrible time to break up? Can he leave her in the care of her adult children who live with her?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Emmy and Tony-nominated actor, author, and producer Jesse Tyler Fergusson about Broadway, casting gays, and meddling, jealous ex-girlfriends. A gay man still has some photos up on social media of him and his ex. Some of his friends say he should take them down- it looks like he hasn’t moved on. Other advise him to keep them up- it shows high emotional IQ that he is still friends with his exes. What should he do?  We know what YOU should do. Call! 206-302-2064 or record your question and send it to Q@savage.love Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage Support for the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by MANSCAPED™ , the best in men’s below-the-waist grooming. MANSCAPED™ offers precision-engineered tools for your family jewels. MANSCAPED™ just launched their fourth generation trimmer, The Lawn Mower® 4.0. Get 20% off and free worldwide shipping with the code: Lovecast at manscaped.com. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
Savage Lovecast Episode 814
May 31 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 814
A bi man in a monogamous heterosexual marriage keeps having his sexuality questioned by gay friends. It’s super annoying! Should he even bring up his bisexuality? Should he feel miffed?  A woman with a newish boyfriend wants to try some consensual non-consent. Specifically, she wants to be woken from a deep sleep to him having sex with her. He readily agreed saying he would also like to be woken up mid-blow job. But how do they negotiate this ahead of time? When he’s sleeping so peacefully, she looks at him and chickens out.  On the Magnum: Pegging WILL be in the Oxford English Dictionary. Or so says Dan’s new inside man. In the noble quest to enshrine the word “Pegging” in the world’s most respected record of the English language, Dan brings on Jesse Sheidlower, former editor at large of the OED to explain why some words get in and some don’t. Nerds rejoice! In your FACE Bill Savage! (This is one of Nancy’s favorite Magnum conversations just so you know.)  Ok, is it true that men don’t like it if you put out too quickly? Because she let him have rough sex with her and she really enjoyed it, and they seemed to be really vibing and he kissed her goodbye, but now he’s TOTALLY GHOSTING her!  It’s hard out there.  voicemail@savagelovecast.com     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Fiasco- a new Audible podcast by the people who made Slow Burn. This episode is all about the AIDS crisis. Check it out at Audible.com/fiascopod or text ‘FIASCOPOD’ to 500-500.
Savage Lovecast Episode 813
May 24 2022
Savage Lovecast Episode 813
A trans man used to be an escort before his transition. Now that he is hornier than ever on testosterone, he wants to try sleeping with gay men. But in his escorting days he would disassociate to get through the sessions. How can he learn to be more present in bed with cis men?  A woman has started dating an older man. In sharing their secrets, he confided that he likes to cross-dress. She’s game to indulge him, but what does she need to know about it?   In these dark times there is only one man who can bring the light. It’s Randy Rainbow! The genius who got us through the Trump years is out with a new book, and continues to churn out super-clever, super-gay videos. They answer a couple calls togethers, they laugh, they cry, they misgender someone, you get to listen. Some is on the Micro, all is on the Magnum.  Hear the pathos in the voice of this 30 year old man, who tumbled together with a woman and her husband. Now he’s catching feelings for the wife, the husband is pissed and the marriage just might end. He didn’t bargain for this… voicemail@savagelovecast.com   206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode is brought to you by Sakara. Makers of life-transforming, plant-rich super meals delivered to your door, ready-to-eat. Get 20% off your first order when you go to Sakara.com/Savage or enter code SAVAGE at checkout.