Men Who Feel, with Mark Guay

The Ontological Leader

Jul 14 2020 • 40 mins

“In the infancy stage of development, boys have more emotional reactivity than girls. Once a boy gets around the teenage years… almost every westernized man, have some story in their life where they’ve been deeply shamed for expressing emotions. Men were shamed around sadness, but women were shamed just as much, typically around anger, … clean anger is hard for anyone to express." – Mark Guay

Mark Guay is a meditation teacher and performance coach based in San Diego, California. He combines developmental psychology with the ancient art of the chakra system to unlock your unlimited potential and lead a life with greater purpose, energy, and connection.

Highlights from this episode

  • What does it take for a human to feel [4:20]
  • Sharing feelings with a man vs sharing feelings with a woman [6:45]
  • What we need to unlearn from our conditioned childhood [9:25]
  • What happens when a man opens up in front of other men [11:18]
  • What does it mean when a man says ‘I just don’t cry’ [13:40]
  • What men can do if their emotions have been silenced for too long [17:38]
  • What could women do to hold space for emotional expression [19:10]
  • What would it take for men to safely honor emotions in the workplace [24:45]
  • How to interact with emotions in five steps [29:24]


“It’s a minority still out there… particularly in leadership roles, for people to have this embodied high emotional intelligence.” [16:50]

“The human being does not stop developing after the physical body develops… you can continue to expand and grow, it’s an infinite game.” [22:36]

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Robert Kagan’s theory of Adult Development

Drama Triangle

Men Talks Podcast

The Mankind Project

Transformation Through Intimacy Book

Nature and The Human Soul Book

More about Mark Guay

Maria's website: