If you knew this 20 years ago, what would you do different in marriage? For anyone who is married, considering marriage, or interested in a long-term relationship, learning from those who have been in the trenches can sometimes be the best form of counseling.  However, what does it really take to be married for over 20 years… Sometimes we want to be "happily married after" but how many of know what it takes to go the distance in relationships. In this episode of Untherapeutic, Dr. Nic Hardy is joined by Tasha and Neil Lyons from Love and Marriage DC on the OWN Television Network. The Lyons have been married for 20 years and share timeless advice on what it takes to thrive relationally. As high school sweethearts, Tasha and Neil discuss the highs and lows of their relationship, and timeless advice for others. Watch this episode and learn insider secrets to a lasting, healthy relationship.Neil and Tasha Lyons met and began dating their senior year in high school in the year 2000. They've been married for 16 years and have 3 amazing children from their union. The Lyons have a family real estate firm called The Lyons Den Group, which their oldest daughter, JaNeil is also a part of. Neil and Tasha were also a part of new reality TV show, Love and Marriage: DC on the OWN television network. They enjoy educating people on the power of homeownership and the financial rewards that come with it.  Make sure to follow them online @tajaly to connect and learn more about the work they are doing in the community and around the country. Follow Dr. Nic Hardy and the Untherapeutic Podcast on IG at nichardy_

If you have ever wondered whether or not you should go to therapy, or if the problems you are experiencing warrant talking to someone, then this episode is for you.  Join Dr. Nic Hardy, and Arron Muller, LCSW as they discuss the subtle signs if you are okay or not. Although we can “push through”, or maintain a “business as usual attitude”, the impact of what we experience in life can create problems in future relationships if we don’t get help.  If you are in a relationship with someone who needs to go counseling, or if they have tried to figure it out on their own, this episode may offer helpful tips on how to have that conversation in a productive way.  Make sure you subscribe to the Untherapeutic podcast, and follow us on Youtube, and social media.  Also, if you are positively impacted, make sure to leave us a review.  Follow Dr. Nic Hardy on all social media platforms:  Instagram: nichardy_ Facebook: nichardycounseling Twitter: nichardycs Youtube: @drnichardy  About Arron Muller Arron Muller, LCSW is the CEO and Founder of Modify Wellness, Inc a nonprofit providing mental health programming and education in NYC. Arron is also a School Social Worker and Adjunct Professor at Adelphi University School of Social Work. Arron Muller provides Individual and Couples counseling using a eclectic approach. Arron conducts stress and anxiety trainings for nursing schools, facilitates workshops at churches and colleges.  Arron holds a Master of Social Work degree from Adelphi University.He was also selected as the Expert Consultant for The Root.com’s topic on “Black Love”. Working in a predominantly female industry, he recognized the absence of black males in the field which led him to develop a network of Black Male Therapist from across the country whose membership is at 800 members.  He utilizes social media platforms such as Instagram, Facebook and Twitter to provide mental illness information and promote awareness to reduce stigma. Arron was highlighted as one of the “15 Black Male Therapists You Should Know” in the Huffington Post in 2017.  Also featured in Black Enterprise as BE Modern Man 100 Men of Distinction.  Arron has been a contributor to The Grio, Oprah Daily, News 12, Hot 97, THE DOCTORS, ABC News, Cosmopolitan and NY1. He was also featured on Vh1’s “Black Ink Crew” as the Resident Therapist.  One his most notable  projects was the launch of t-shirt line promoting Black Men seeking therapy which includes the empowering slogan, “Black Kings Need Therapy Too”. Arron facilitated the NYC Brothers Thrive- a conversation about mental health developed by Former First Lady Chirlane McCray of New York City to provide a forum for black men to have conversations about mental health. Arron’s mission is to change the stigma associated with mental health and therapy in the African American community by providing information, educating and providing low-cost services. Follow Arron online @theblack_therapist

The secret to happiness in our relationships is not always what we think.  More money, less arguments, more time together, better vacations, the list goes on of what we think will make us happy.  However, all too often, we focus on the wrong things and find ourselves consistently dissatisfied, both in life and in our relationships. We all want to be happy, but what does it really take? In this episode of Untherapeutic, Dr. Nic Hardy is joined by Robert Mack, Positive Psychology Expert, Celebrity Happiness Coach, Published Author, and more.  Learn how you too can experience the joy of happiness, right where you are.  About Robert MackRobert Mack is an Ivy League-Educated, Positive Psychology Expert, Celebrity Happiness Coach, Published Author, and Television Host & Producer.His work has been endorsed by Oprah, Vanessa Williams, Lisa Nichols, and many others. In addition to serving as Celebrity Love Coach for Famously Single on the E! Network for two seasons, Robert also worked as Consulting Producer and On-Camera Expert for Mind Your Business on the OWN Network and Executive Producer and Host of Good Morning LaLa Land on Apple TV and Hulu.He has been featured on television shows like Good Morning America, The Today Show, CBS Morning Show, and Access Hollywood and in magazines like GQ, Self, Health, Cosmopolitan, Well + Good, and Glamour. Robert's first book, Happiness from the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment, is celebrity-endorsed and critically-acclaimed. Follow Robert Online at Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/robmackofficialInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/robmackofficial/Twitter: https://twitter.com/robmackofficial Also, don’t forget to follow Dr. Nic Hardy online Instagram: nichardy_Facebook: nichardycounseling Twitter: nichardycs Youtube Channel: drnichardy

If you haven’t already, now is the time to binge on Season 1 and review the many great episodes from the Untherapeutic Podcast.  The first season is filled with timeless insights to help you relationally and in life.  In the meantime, don’t forget to subscribe to our new Youtube channel @drnichardy and follow us on social media. Instagram: nichardy_ Facebook: nichardycounseling Twitter: nichardycs Interested in a particular topic or interested in being a guest, feel free to send an email at nic@nichardy.com

Despite how much you love someone, it takes discipline to make a relationship successful.  One of the most important disciplines, is the discipline to establish healthy boundaries with those outside of your relationship. In this episode, I am joined by Anthony Flynn, CEO and Founder of Amazing CEO and execution expert.  In addition to growing multiple successful businesses, and coaching some of the worlds most renowned executives, Anthony’s greatest accomplishment is centered around his marriage and family.  Anthony has been a brother and mentor of mine for over 20 years, and I have personally watched him invest in the daily disciplines of safeguarding his marriage.  With an abundance of resources and global access, how does one practice in private what they preach publicly? How do you avoid pitfalls that have tripped some of the most powerful men in our society? When your relationship is less than perfect, your needs are not being met 100%, and no one is watching – how do you say No?  How to be Faithful in Marriage is a must listen to for anyone who desires to be committed in their relationship. If we are not intentional, disciplined and anchored, the temptation of our own selfish desires can negatively impact the ones we love most.  To learn more about Anthony Flynn, you can follow him online at @anthonyflynn_ac  or visit him at amazingceo.com

In this episode of Untherapeutic, Dr. Nic Hardy is joined by best selling author, Jayne Allen.  In her bestselling book, "Black Girls Must Die Exhausted", this novel takes readers on a true journey of what it means to live life, experience set backs and overcome obstacles along the way.   This book is a true must read.  This podcast episode of Untherapeutic is a behind the scenes discussion about the parallels of this novel, and the real-life journey of many professional, black women in today's society.  Infertility. Corporate America. Dating. Getting Older. Fear. Success. Everyday issues that have a real impact on our life, dating relationships, and the future we envision. Don't forget to subscribe on your favorite streaming platform, and to purchase a copy of this novel.  Please like, share on your social media, and follow Dr. Nic Hardy at @nichardy_ or visit online at nichardy.com or Untherapeutic.com. You can learn more about Jayne Allen on her website, and can follow her on instagram @jayneallenwrites

The older we get, the harder it is to remain optimistic about our relationship future, especially if we have experienced our fair share of failed attempts.  However, despite what’s occurring relationally, the importance of self-care, and maintaining a healthy perspective is vitally important. In this episode, I am joined by Bre Mitchell, founder of Brown Girl Self-Care, as we dive into the topic of how to avoid being cynical and not happy for others, through the practice of self-care. Bre Mitchell is the founder of Brown Girl Self-Care, an online platform and community created out of the need to make the self-care and wellness space more inclusive for Black women. As a survivor of depression, trauma and grief she wanted to provide uplifting and tips that centered the experiences of women who looked like her which is how Brown Girl Self-Care got started in 2018. Bre is a podcaster, community builder and self-care advocate who  cultivates wellness experiences and resources for Black women as an act of resistance against racism and systemic oppression. When not working you can find her tending to her balcony container, watching 80's movies with her daughter, on the couch with a great book and a glass of wine, or at the park getting her (slow) roller skating on.You can keep up with Brown Girl Self-Care on Instagram and Facebook @browngirlselfcare and also reach Bre at connect@browngirlselfcare.com Don’t forget to subscribe to the Untherapeutic Podcast on your favorite streaming platform today. To learn more about Dr. Nic Hardy, please visit untherapeutic.com or nichardy.com. You can also follow on Instagram at nichardy_#ApplePodcasts #Spotify #AmazonMusic

Has your spouse ever done everything right, but you still found yourself unsatisfied? Believe it or not, being unsatisfied in a relationship is not always because our spouse did something wrong. Is it them, or is it me?  This dilemma can lead us to misplace blame, or go in circles from one relationship to the next.  In this episode of Untherapeutic, Dr. Nic Hardy is joined by Psychotherapist, Kamilah Thomas as she discusses our need to have “projects”, warning signs we shouldn’t ignore, trusting our better judgment, and what it means to actually settle.  Kamilah Thomas is a Licensed Psychotherapist, Clinical Supervisor, Private Practice Coach, and Entrepreneur with over 15 years of direct care and management experience. She earned her Bachelor of Arts degree in Criminal Justice with a minor in Psychology at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte, and her Master of Social Work degree at the University of Houston. Kamilah is currently the CEO and Clinical Director of KBT Counseling and Consulting, Houston’s premiere mental health group practice that specializes in working with individuals and families of color. In this role, she provides general oversight of administrative and clinical operations, supervises graduate level interns, and builds collaborations with community partners.You can follow Kamilah online at @kamilahthomas_lcsw For more information on Dr. Nic Hardy, please follow on Instagram at nichardy_. You can also visit Dr. Hardy at nichardy.com for counseling or at untherapeutic.com for more podcast episodes.   Don’t forget to subscribe on your favorite streaming platform today. #applemusic #spotify #iheartradio

What does self-doubt look like in a relationship? How does you questioning yourself, affect the person you are with? Can you really be supportive when you are questioning your own abilities?  When we think about imposter syndrome, we frequently overlook how it impacts us relationally.  However, the truth is, questioning yourself does more that interfere with your own path to success.  It also creates challenges for the person you are with, and their confidence in the relationship.  We have all experienced imposter syndrome, where we internally think we are “tricking” people or will be found out because we are a fake.  Although, it’s what we do with these feelings and thoughts that make all the difference.  On this episode of Untherapeutic, Dr. Nic Hardy is joined by Licensed Professional Counselor and Imposter Syndrome expert Kisha Walwyn-Duquesnay (Wall-Win-Doo-Kenny). Kisha has been a Licensed Professional Counselor for the last 10 years in Houston, TX and is owner of optimisticcounseling.com. Kisha helps career driven women beat Imposter Syndrome so they can feel worthy of the success they have achieved without the guilt. Over the last 10 years, Kisha has helped hundreds of women go from feeling undeserving, to feeling worthy of every good thing that comes to them. So that they can finally own all that they have done, all that they will do, and live the big full life they deserve. Kisha graduated from the University Of Mary Hardin-Baylor, with an M.A. in counseling and from the University Of North Texas, with a B.A. in sociology and double minor in psychology and counseling. Kisha is first generation Caribbean, born in Houston, Texas. Her mother is American. Her father was born in St. Kitts and raised in St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands. Kisha is married with a 1 year old daughter and 14 year old Pomeranian. To learn more about Kisha, you can follow her on Instagram at http://www.instagram.com/optimisticcounseling  visit her counseling practice, Optimistic Counseling. Don't forget to like and subscribe to the Untherapeutic Podcast on your favorite streaming platform, and follow Dr. Nic Hardy on Facebook at nichardycounseling or on Instagram @nichardy_.

When there are problems in a relationship, who doesn't want their partner to change?  In an ideal world, they would just "get it" and everything would be okay.  However, this is rarely the case, especially when two people believe the other person is at fault (which almost all the time). In her Amazon #1 Bestselling book, Dr. Abby Medcalf shares how we can change our relationship, even when our partner won't do a thing.  No longer do we have to wait for the other person to change in order for the relationship to improve.  Although most don't realize it, everything we need to improve the quality of our relationship is within reach. To learn more about Dr. Abby Medcalf, please visit her website, where she has tons of helpful resources.  She also has an incredible podcast called Relationships Made Easy. Oh, and don't forget to order a copy of her Amazon #1 Best Selling Book "Be Happily Married Even if Your Partner Won't Do a Thing". For more episodes, listen to the Untherapeutic Podcast on your favorite streaming platform. Also, follow Dr. Nic Hardy online at nichardy_.

When you don't feel heard, it's hard to explain. In fact, it can seem confusing and ambigous for those who are trying to understand and make sense of this problem. The truth is, this is one of the most common problems when it comes to communication in relationships. But what does it really mean to "not feel heard".  In this episode, Dr. Nic Hardy is joined by relationship therapist Eboni Harris as they explore the subject of communication and how to hear your spouse in a way that is meaningful.  Untherapeutic the Podcast Don't forget to subscribe on your favorite streaming platform and like this podcast if you find it valuable. Also, feel free to send any questions or comments to Dr. Nic Hardy or follow online at @nichardy_ or at Untherapeutic.com About Guest Eboni Harris Eboni Harris is a licensed relationship therapist, keynote speaker, podcaster, and educator. She has been helping couples and individuals explore and heal their relationship patterns, childhood trauma, and unhealthy habits. Eboni helps her clients/audience understand and love the parts of them that create undesirable outcomes so they can transform those parts into extensions of who they know they are to their core.For over 10 years brands like Essence, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, and Self Magazine have considered Eboni an expert in relationships and sex. Although this is true, Eboni has found that she is truly an expert on love. Whether the topic self-love, romantic love, platonic love, or loving your life, Eboni is able to speak to how love is able to transform/motivate individuals to live the life they desire and create the relationships they deserve.Social Mediahttp://www.eboniharris.comhttp://www.facebook.com/eboniharrismahttp://www.twitter.com/eboniharrismahttp://www.instagram.com/eboniharrismahttp://www.youtube.com/user/EboniHarrisMA Melanin & Mental Healthhttp://www.melaninandmentalhealth.comhttp://www.facebook.com/melaninandmentalhealthhttp://www.twitter.com/melaninhealthhttp://www.instagram.com/melaninandmentalhealth

The idea of work-life balance sounds great, but is it really attainable?  Balance is good in theory, but in reality, we are sometimes asked to choose between two equally important things. When the expectations of providing financially, collide with being present, what do you do?  When are lifestyle has created  comfort, but the quality of our relationships is in danger, making the right adjustments is not easy feat.  Join Dr. Nic Hardy and Terry Williams as they explore what it means to grow a business and build a family. Terry Williams is co-founder of The League, a gym in Houston, TX that focuses not only on physical fitness, but mental and emotional wellness too. While he enjoys entrepreneurship and coaching, his greatest values are his family and the rich relationships he forms with his clientele. He finds purpose and fulfillment in impact, and strives to change lives through loving people well.  You can follow Terry online @terrythetrainer and at @emberandstoke  For more information on the Untherapeutic Podcast, please visit us online at Untherapeutic.com.  Also, you can follow Dr. Nic Hardy online @nichardy_

Infidelity is one of the hardest relationship challenges some couples experience.  The betrayal of trust and the loss of confidence that stems from one partner stepping outside their relationship, can cause the most committed couples to question the future of their relationship. However, in counseling countless couples over the years, there is a myth that surrounds infidelity. There are myths about what the other person will look like, how they are sexually, how much money they make, etc. There are also myths about the reasons “why” we are pulled away from the one we love and what it is we need most.  In this episode of Untherapeutic, Dr. Nic Hardy is joined by Eliza Boquin, Psychotherapist and Sex Therapist. Together, they will explore many of the common misconceptions around infidelity, helpful strategies to prevent this from occurring in your relationship, and more.  Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to Untherapeutic on your favorite streaming platform.  Also, follow us on Instagram at nichardy_. For residents in Texas, if you are interested in counseling, please visit nichardy.com About Eliza Boquin Eliza Boquin, MA, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist, sex therapist, and certified healing practitioner who works with people to overcome past traumas, emotional pain, and destructive relationship patterns so they can begin to enjoy healthier, pleasure-filled lives.  You can find her working with clients at her private practice, The Flow & Ease Healing Center, LLC in Houston, TX, hosting workshops, and at public speaking events empowering people to have healthier relationships.In addition to her clinical work & public speaking events, she is the host of the Chakras + Sex + Relationships podcast & co-host of the Between Sessions podcast.She is also an active mental health advocate & co-founder of Melanin & Mental Health, LLC—a mental health wellness brand centered around the healing of Black/Latinx communities.Her work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, XO Necole, Bustle, Shape, and Health Magazine.

Do you know the keys to lasting physical intimacy? Have you struggled to reconnect with your spouse? If so, join millions of others who have silently struggled with physical intimacy in their relationships.   In this episode, Dr. Nic Hardy is joined by Dr. Viviana Coles, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and former Married at First Sight featured expert. In her groundbreaking book, The Four Intimacy Styles, Dr. Coles describes how learning about your intimacy style can help you overcome feelings of neglect in the bedroom, resent, worry, and a host of other challenges we experience  that limit our capacity to engage in a satisfying sex life.  In this episode, Dr. Coles also addresses many other frequently asked questions around sex, reconnecting with your spouse, and more.  To learn more about Dr. Viviana Coles, DMFT – please visit her website at https://doctorviviana.com/  or follow on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/doctorviviana/ You can also purchase her book, the 4 Intimacy Styles https://doctorviviana.com/product/buythebook/Don’t forget to subscribe to the Untherapeutic Podcast today on your favorite streaming platform. Also, if you enjoyed this episode, we would love for you to send us a note or give us a positive rating.  To connect with Dr. Nic Hardy, you can visit him on social media at the below links.Instagram: nichardy_Facebook: nichardycounseling If you are in the state of Texas and interested in counseling, schedule your first appointment online today at nichardy.com

Relationships that begin with a lot of intensity and passion, sometimes evolve into relationships that are both dangerous and unhealthy.  In this episode, Kortney Simmons, Attorney and Legal Analyst for TV One’s hit show “Fatal Attraction”, discusses her experience helping couples identify warning signs and exit unsafe relationships.   It’s easy to mistake passion for possessiveness and misinterpret what a healthy relationship looks like, especially in the passionate rush of newness. In this episode, “We all like a little crazy, Until…” Host Dr. Nic Hardy will explore topics such as: Can people really change over time…?Is a safe relationship a boring relationship…?Warnings signs of a potentially fatal attraction…? And more…  For more episodes on mental health and relationships, visit untherapeutic.com and subscribe today on your favorite streaming platform. Stay connected with Dr. Nic Hardy on Instagram at nichardy_. Don’t Forget, if you found this episode valuable in anyway, rate the Untherapeutic podcast on your favorite streaming platform. About Kortney Simmons Kortney D. Simmons, a native of Memphis, Tennessee, graduated from the University of Mississippi School of Law in 2011, where she earned her J.D. with a Certificate in Criminal Law.  Prior to law school, Ms. Simmons received her B.S. in International Relations from Middle Tennessee State University, where she graduated cum laude in 2007. In 2011 Ms. Simmons was admitted to the Tennessee Bar and joined Divorce Incorporated as an Associate Attorney.In 2015, Ms. Simmons, along with G. Michael Casey and Daniel P. Bryant, formed the law firm of Casey, Simmons and Bryant, PLLC. Ms. Simmons practices in courts across Tennessee, but primarily practices in West Tennessee. Her primary areas of practice are criminal defense, juvenile and family law.Attorney Simmons is happily married and has two handsome sons named William and Ryan and a playful puppy named Honey.

Finding a spouse online may feel like the new normal in today’s dating culture. However, the challenges and problems that come with online dating can be exhausting and discouraging all at the same time - especially for black women, who often have fewer options in the online dating world. Dr. Nic Hardy is joined by Dating and Relationship coach Kevin Thibodeaux (Coach Kev) as he explores practical strategies to improve your success online.  Coach Kev offers encouragement for those who have given up on their dating future, and the prospect of finding someone online. To Learn more about working with Coach Kev, visit him online at the following social media outlets. Website / Social Media Links:·      From Casual to Serious Website·      Date Smarter Community Landing page ·      Linked In - Coach Kev·      Facebook - Coach Kev·      Instagram - From Casual to SeriousDon’t forget to subscribe to the Untherapeutic Podcast on your favorite streaming platform. For more information on Dr. Nic Hardy, visit him at Untherapeutic.com, online at nichardy.com or follow on Instagram at  nichardy_ or Facebook at nichardycounseling.

Even when we know a relationship is toxic, it’s not always easy to stop ourselves from going back.  In this episode, host Dr. Nic Hardy is joined by Mindfulness Expert and Practitioner Kierra McShine-Gregory. Kierra is a mental health counselor and mindfulness practitioner who works with adolescents, adults and families using the practice of mindfulness to support depression, anxiety, relationship restoration and stress management. Her restorative framework has supported her clients in reframing negative thinking, deepening self-discovery and bringing more awareness to their emotional well-being. This episode will offer insights on creating healthy boundaries in your relationships, and what it means incorporate mindfulness in your life.   If you have ever wondered, “What exactly is a toxic relationship”, “How does your family contribute to your relationship decisions”, “What should we do after leaving a toxic relationship”, “How to spot a toxic relationship before it’s too late – then this episode is for you. To learn more about Kierra McShine-Gregory visit her on Instagram @PeaceandProject or https://www.nichardy.com/kierraDon’t forget to subscribe to the Untherapeutic Podcast on your favorite streaming platform. For more information on Dr. Nic Hardy, visit him at Untherapeutic.com, online at nichardy.com or follow on Instagram at  nichardy_ or Facebook at nichardycounseling.