Read The Transcripts Previously on Mockery Manor: Claytonville's resident psychic medium has a vision of a falling man. JJ, Parker and George struggle to finish the park in time for opening day. And Detective Fenwick from Season 1 makes an unwelcome appearance as head of security for the grand opening concert. --- Written by Lindsay Sharman Directed by Lindsay Sharman and Laurence Owen Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen Featuring Hayley Evenett as JJ and Bette, Laurence Owen was Parker, Paul, Clayton and additional voices, Karim Kronfli was George and additional voices, Christina Bianco was Kirsteen and additional voices, Lindsay Sharman was Sonia and additional voices, Rufus Walker was Freddie, John Henry Falle was Bobby D, Kristi Boulton was Anna Lou, and Madame Magenta and Bernard were themselves. Mockery Manor is supported by Arts Council England National Lottery Project Grants, and our wonderful patrons on Ko-fi. If you'd like to support Mockery and help me and Lindsay keep making podcasts, tap the link in the show notes of this episode, tap this link! Thank you <3 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join Paul in his local radio slot, as he plays the most recent single from Clayton Woodrow III and his wife Kirsteen McFallon - Cold Heart Lake. - Written and directed by Lindsay Sharman. Cold Heart Lake written and produced by Laurence Owen, performed by Laurence Owen and Christina Bianco. Support Long Cat Media on Ko-fi! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mockery Manor returns! The year is 1996, and newly minted managers JJ and Parker are preparing to open Claytonville - Mockery Manor's brand new rootin' tootin' cowboy theme park. Will everything be ready before the man himself, Clayton Woodrow III, arrives to perform at the opening ceremony? Read the Transcripts Written by Lindsay Sharman Directed by Lindsay Sharman and Laurence Owen Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen Featuring Hayley Evenett as JJ, Laurence Owen as Parker, the Cowboys on Ice director, and additional voices, Karim Kronfli as George, John Henry Falle as Detective Fenwick, Luke Capasso as Harry, and Madame Magenta and Bernard as themselves. Mockery Manor is supported by Arts Council England National Lottery Project Grants, and our wonderful patrons on Ko-fi. If you'd like to support Mockery and help me and Lindsay keep making podcasts, tap the link in the show notes of this episode, tap this link! Thank you <3 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Bette Tapes is a Mockery Manor miniseries, set between Seasons 2 and 3. With her two-year deadline fast approaching, Bette must crack one final case and repay her debt to Margot before the time runs out. Starring Hayley Evenett as Bette, with Lindsay Sharman as Margot. Additional voices by Laurence Owen. Written by Lindsay Sharman, and directed by Laurence Owen. Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen. Read the Transcript Listen to Long Cat Media's new series, Magenta Presents: GHOSTED www.longcatmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Bette Tapes is a Mockery Manor miniseries, set between Seasons 2 and 3. Bette must put her paid cases on hold after she overhears a conspiracy to murder. Ugh, so annoying. starring Hayley Evenett as Bette, with additional voices by Laurence Owen. Written by Lindsay Sharman, and directed by Laurence Owen. Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen. Read the Transcript Listen to Long Cat Media's new series, Magenta Presents: GHOSTED www.longcatmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Bette Tapes is a Mockery Manor miniseries, set between Seasons 2 and 3. In a desperate hunt for clients, Bette has returned, begrudgingly, to her alma mater - St Candida's School For Young Ladies. This recording documents her first assignment: The Case Of The Dubious Stallion. starring Hayley Evenett as Bette, with additional voices by Laurence Owen, Lindsay Sharman and Kitty Winter. Written by Lindsay Sharman, and directed by Laurence Owen. Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen. Read the Transcript Listen to Long Cat Media's new series, Magenta Presents: GHOSTED www.longcatmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Bette Tapes is a Mockery Manor miniseries, set between Seasons 2 and 3. Fledgling PI Bette Armstrong has set up her detective office at Mockery Manor - with more than a little help from Margot. But she soon finds it's not as easy as it looks. starring Hayley Evenett as Bette, with additional voices by Laurence Owen. Written by Lindsay Sharman, and directed by Lindsay Sharman and Laurence Owen. Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen, with additional editing by Maddy Searle. Read the Transcript Listen to Long Cat Media's new series, Magenta Presents: GHOSTED www.longcatmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Subscribe to Magenta Presents on your podcast player of choice! Hey folks, Laurence here... And today we are so excited to introduce OUR new show. We have a new podcast that's just started, it's called MAGENTA PRESENTS. It's a horror anthology series, in the tradition of classic anthology shows like Tales From The Crypt and Elvira, in which Madame Magenta is your horror hostess and guide to the unnatural and the bizarre. And the first story in Magenta Presents is a five-episode miniseries called GHOSTED. A full audio drama, written and directed by Lindsay, with music and sound design by me, and starring Beth Eyre and Lucy Roslyn in the main roles.  Perched on a rain-battered cliff edge is a former lighthouse; now a charming, boutique hotel. Owner and sole occupant Beth has spent months renovating, absorbing its essence into her bones, preparing for her first guest to arrive. But when they do, to Beth's horror, it is a figure from a past she has tried to forget. Keira. Face-to-face for the first time in years, the pair must reckon with old mistakes, old grievances. And something else, besides. Because the lighthouse has a past too. We're going to play you the first episode now, and you can hear the next episode by subscribing to Magenta Presents wherever you get podcasts, you can also go to Long Cat Media .com, or you can tap the link in the show notes of this episode.  And now we really hope you enjoy GHOSTED, episode 1. www.longcatmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Subscribe to Midnight Burger here! Today it’s our great pleasure to introduce a gorgeous fiction podcast that’s taking the indie audio drama world by storm - Midnight Burger.  When Gloria took a waitressing job in a diner outside of Phoenix, she didn't realize she was now an employee of Midnight Burger, a time-traveling, dimension-spanning diner. Every day Midnight Burger appears somewhere new in the cosmos along with its staff: a galactic drifter, a rogue theoretical physicist, a sentient old-timey radio, and some guy named Caspar. No one knows who built Midnight Burger or how it works, but when it appears, there's always someone around who could really use a cup of coffee. We love Midnight Burger. It’s one of the warmest, most thoughtful and sharply written fiction pods around, and it calls to mind all the best parts of the Hitchhiker’s Guide and Red Dwarf while still being very much it’s own thing. It’s no surprise it’s become an instant hit, having recently passed a million downloads. We urge you to check out Midnight Burger wherever you get podcasts, or at weopenatsix.com  And now, here’s S1 E1 of Midnight Burger, entitled The Transdimensional Haboob! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Mockery Manor Christmas Special is here! Visit our website to buy it and listen immediately MOCKERY MANOR: A MIDWINTER NIGHT'S DREAM Winter, 1994. Mockery Manor has flung open its doors and invited guests into a winter wonderland! But for Parker, Bette, JJ and Gretchen, this Christmas proves more magical than they ever bargained for... Festive hijinks and magical mayhem at Mockery Manor! Written & Directed by Lindsay Sharman Music, Sound Design and Editing by Laurence Owen Hayley Evenett - JJ, Bette Laurence Owen - Parker, Paul, Luke, the mysterious Lorry Driver, additional voices Lindsay Sharman - Margot, Davina, additional voices James Ducker - Walter Abbie Eastwood - Gretchen, additional voices 25% of profits from this special episode will go to a charity chosen by our patrons in January 2023. If you'd like to become a patron, head to www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia Merry festives! Laurence & Lindsay x Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It is our absolute pleasure to introduce what we think is one of the best audio dramas we have ever heard: Red Valley. A mystery drama about the limits of experimental science, confronting your own past, present & future, & trying to remember the level select cheat from Sonic 2.  Just an FYI, this episode has some naughtier language than you'd normally find on Mockery Manor, so please be aware if you're listening with little'uns. Subscribe to Red Valley wherever you're listening to this, or by going here. Enjoy! www.redvalleypod.com www.longcatmedia.com www.fableandfolly.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mockery Manor - Season 3. Coming soon. www.longcatmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's... the Blooper Reel. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Buy The Music of Mockery Manor - Season Two here! Welcome to Kiss My Zeitgeist - it's Long Cat Media's new culture programme that might never happen again. Lindsay sits down to ask Laurence about the music of Mockery Manor Season Two, what it's like to write music on laudanum, and why he's had a Tom Jones song stuck in his head for weeks. www.longcatmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Previously: War! After negotiations with Hilda prove fruitless, Jenkins launches a full-scale offensive on the Committee. He tells them that the exits to Koschei the Deathless are all sealed, and his men have the ride surrounded. But Jenkins has a problem. Margot is here. Jenkins goes into the fray to retrieve Margot and escape before the final phase of his plan - explosives. As he leaves the control room, Jenkins gives Parker a message to read on the tannoy if he does not return with Margot. It will help her escape, but it's something only she would understand. Meanwhile - JJ, Bette, Gretchen, Thomaz and Davina are all still trapped in the building. Watching on the monitors, Parker is horrified to see the twins looking at one of Jenkins' bombs. Speaking into the tannoy, he cries out to them. But before he can be understood... ka-boom. In this episode: More ka-boom... Want to check out Laurence & Lindsay's other podcast, The Ballad of Anne & Mary? Click this link! Want to browse the Long Cat Media shop? Head on down here! Mockery Manor is written and directed by Lindsay Sharman. Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen. Hayley Evenett was JJ and Bette, Lindsay Sharman was Hilda, Margot and Davina, Laurence Owen was Parker, Jenkins, Giuseppe, Antoine and additional voices, John Henry Falle was Spanish Dave, Abbie Eastwood was Gretchen, Alasdair Beckett King was Thomaz. Mockery Manor is part of the Fable and Folly network. Visit their website for more info. For transcripts and more information about Mockery Manor, and our two other podcasts Madame Magenta and The Ballad of Anne & Mary, visit www.longcatmedia.com Or follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @MockeryManor and also @LongCatMedia This podcast is supported by our wonderful Ko-fi patrons. If you'd like to support the show and help us keep going, visit our website, or go to www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Previously: as the Committee arrives at Koschei the Deathless for Hilda's meeting, JJ and Bette sneak in via a side entrance to try and rescue Gretchen. They stumble into the ride, and find themselves in a creepy but familiar kitchen, occupied by an animatronic witch. To her horror, JJ realises that the witch is modelled on Dorothy - Margot's mother, and the twins' grandmother. JJ recalls the Dreamland dollhouse, shown to her by Dorothy moments before she was murdered by Matty. This kitchen is identical to that of the dollhouse. It's Mockery Manor. The twins hop on a passing Egg Buggy, and discover that each room is a distorted, nightmarish reflection of the rooms of Mockery Manor. As they near the grand ballroom, the twins hop out of the Buggy to stay unnoticed. They are shocked to see Margot and Davina among the Committee members. Why are they there? And who's looking after baby Freddie? Meanwhile, Hilda is losing communication with her security unit as they are each taken out by Jenkins' men. "We're under attack" she radios to the others. "Retreat to Koschei and seal it. No-one gets in, no-one gets out. And if you see anyone you don't recognise... execute on sight." In this episode: Party time. Want to check out Laurence & Lindsay's other podcast, The Ballad of Anne & Mary? Click this link! Want to browse the Long Cat Media shop? Head on down here! Mockery Manor is written and directed by Lindsay Sharman. Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen. Hayley Evenett was JJ and Bette, Lindsay Sharman was Hilda, Margot and Davina, Laurence Owen was Parker, Jenkins, Giuseppe, Antoine and additional voices, John Henry Falle was Spanish Dave, Abbie Eastwood was Gretchen, Alasdair Beckett King was Thomaz. Mockery Manor is part of the Fable and Folly network. Visit their website for more info. For transcripts and more information about Mockery Manor, and our two other podcasts Madame Magenta and The Ballad of Anne & Mary, visit www.longcatmedia.com Or follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @MockeryManor and also @LongCatMedia This podcast is supported by our wonderful Ko-fi patrons. If you'd like to support the show and help us keep going, visit our website, or go to www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Previously: Bodankho's shooter is revealed to be Hilda, accompanied by Thomaz (her reluctant henchman). Hilda is convinced that Gretchen and Bohdanko are working for Jenkins, so Thomaz is tasked with taking Gretchen as hostage to the Committee meeting at The Palace of Koschei The Deathless. But JJ, hiding behind a sofa, evades capture. Meanwhile, Parker frantically searches the park for a phone, and runs into Jenkins and his silent muscle, "Max". It emerges that Jenkins has a crack team of trained operatives scattered throughout the park. As they approach Koschei the Deathless, Parker notices that the ride building is a replica of the Mockery Manor house. Jenkins reveals that he and Hilda were stationed at the Schloss during the war, and that the pair went on to design the theme park together. But Hilda has betrayed him. And not only that, Jenkins says... Hilda was responsible for the murder of Parker's father. Armed with Eric's gun, Bette bursts into the Schloss' secret rooms to find JJ standing over Bohdanko's body. Together, they briefly consider fleeing, before finally resolving to go and rescue Gretchen. Over at Koschei, the Committee members are welcomed by Hilda. They will ride the "egg buggies" through the attraction and disembark at the Masquerade Ball for a buffet reception. But among the Committee members are two surprising guests - Margot and Davina. In this episode: JJ and Bette take a ride on Koschei the Deathless... Want to check out Laurence & Lindsay's other podcast, The Ballad of Anne & Mary? Click this link! Want to browse the Long Cat Media shop? Head on down here! Mockery Manor is written and directed by Lindsay Sharman. Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen. Hayley Evenett was JJ and Bette, Lindsay Sharman was Hilda, Margot and Davina, John Henry Falle was the Pluto, Spanish Dave, The Head Waiter and Vincent Price, Abbie Eastwood was Gretchen, Alasdair Beckett King was Thomaz and Donald, Laurence Owen was Giuseppe and additional voices, and Sooz Kempner was Animatronic Dorothy Mockery Manor is part of the Fable and Folly network. Visit their website for more info. For transcripts and more information about Mockery Manor, and our two other podcasts Madame Magenta and The Ballad of Anne & Mary, visit www.longcatmedia.com Or follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @MockeryManor and also @LongCatMedia This podcast is supported by our wonderful Ko-fi patrons. If you'd like to support the show and help us keep going, visit our website, or go to www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Previously: Oh no! At the schloss, JJ, Bette, Gretchen and Parker are held at gunpoint by Bohdanko, the Russian gangster who has been chasing JJ across Europe in search of the stolen Vermeer. While Bohdanko demands that JJ take him to the painting, Gretchen tries to throw him off the scent. He is not so easily duped, and they are both taken hostage. Bette and Parker are left tied up in JJ's room, but they are rescued by Dodgy Eric, who has been playing dead on the bed for some time. Parker runs off to call the police, while Bette takes Eric's gun and goes in search of JJ and Gretchen. Meanwhile, JJ and Gretchen try and stall for time with an ever-more-dangerous Bohdanko. After several failed attempts to lose him, Bohdanko's phone rings. It becomes clear that he has double-crossed his boss, and is planning to steal the Vermeer for himself. In a desperate attempt to lose him, JJ and Gretchen lead Bohdanko to Wizzzard Entertainment's hidden rooms in the schloss. But when they get there, JJ realises they are not alone. She hides behind a sofa, and calls for Gretchen to do the same. Suddenly, Bohdanko is shot by an unknown someone... In this episode: Parker learns some shocking truths, JJ and Bette face the music, and Hilda assembles the Committee... Want to check out Laurence & Lindsay's other podcast, The Ballad of Anne & Mary? Click this link! Want to browse the Long Cat Media shop? Head on down here! Mockery Manor is written and directed by Lindsay Sharman. Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen. Hayley Evenett was JJ and Bette, Laurence Owen was Parker, Jenkins, Giuseppe, Antoine and additional voices, Lindsay Sharman was Margot, Hilda and Davina, Abbie Eastwood was Gretchen, Alasdair Beckett-King was Thomaz, and John Henry Falle was Spanish Dave and Vincent Price. Mockery Manor is part of the Fable and Folly network. Visit their website for more info. For transcripts and more information about Mockery Manor, and our two other podcasts Madame Magenta and The Ballad of Anne & Mary, visit www.longcatmedia.com Or follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @MockeryManor and also @LongCatMedia This podcast is supported by our wonderful Ko-fi patrons. If you'd like to support the show and help us keep going, visit our website, or go to www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Previously: Parker bumps into Bette at the entrance to Dunkelschloss. They hide from Hilda by running into The Little Mermaid's Underwater Cave System, which, they notice, has the exact same layout as Mockery Manor's Dreamland. Parker tells Bette his suspicions - that Jenkins might had his dad killed, and that he is running some sort of shady business with Hilda. Bette explains that she eavesdropped on Hilda's meeting with "some Italian guy who wouldn't shut up about Beluga whales". Parker recognises that to be Giuseppe, and it all clicks: Wizzzard Entertainment is running a Europe-wide smuggling ring... and Hilda is going to dispose of Jenkins. Meanwhile, in the schloss, Gretchen has stumbled across a hidden room, where Giuseppe and two other Wizzzard park managers are chatting. They don't know why Hilda has called them all to a meeting, but Giuseppe says he is planning to retire. They discover Gretchen listening, and she runs off to tell JJ what she heard. Of course, JJ doesn't want to know - much to Gretchen's frustration. With Dodgy Eric (currently unconscious on JJ's bed) having found her a buyer for the Vermeer, JJ says she just wants to sell her painting, grab Bette, and get out of there. An irate Bette bursts in, accompanied by Parker, and demands that JJ abandons her plan to sell the painting. But before JJ can make up her mind, a sinister figure arrives, gun in hand. Bohdanko - the Russian gangster who tailed her from Japan, and beat up Eric for information in Amsterdam - has come to collect his prize. Want to check out Laurence & Lindsay's other podcast, The Ballad of Anne & Mary? Click this link! Want to browse the Long Cat Media shop? Head on down here! Mockery Manor is written and directed by Lindsay Sharman. Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen. Hayley Evenett was JJ and Bette, Laurence Owen was Bohdanko and Parker, Abbie Eastwood was Gretchen, Lindsay Sharman was Margot, and Alasdair Beckett-King was Dodgy Eric. Mockery Manor is part of the Fable and Folly network. Visit their website for more info. For transcripts and more information about Mockery Manor, and our two other podcasts Madame Magenta and The Ballad of Anne & Mary, visit www.longcatmedia.com Or follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @MockeryManor and also @LongCatMedia This podcast is supported by our wonderful Ko-fi patrons. If you'd like to support the show and help us keep going, visit our website, or go to www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia www.fableandfolly.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Previously: Crammed together in the same Eurobear costume, Thomaz and Bette have been eavesdropping outside Hilda's office as she speaks to her associate Giuseppe. They hear her mention "The Committee" before Thomaz helps Bette escape via an Elves of Europe boat. He tells her that he regularly escorts mysterious visitors to Hilda's office, and then to hidden rooms in the castle. Bette swears she's going to find those rooms. Meanwhile, Gretchen, having escorted a wounded Eric to JJ's room, finds one of these secret rooms - behind a bookcase deep in the crumbling castle. JJ finds Eric convalescing in her bed after being attacked by Bohdanko - the same gangster who nearly killed her in Tokyo. She is horrified that he got as far as finding Eric in Amsterdam, but Eric assures her he didn't tell Bohdanko anything that could lead him to her. But that's not all - Eric has found a buyer for the Vermeer, and JJ reluctantly agrees to go ahead with the sale. Meanwhile, Parker hitches a lift to Dunkelschloss with a slightly unsettling lorry driver, who has noticed a huge increase in the number of Wizzzard Entertainment trucks on the road... In this episode: Parker and Bette have a revelation at Dunkelschloss, Gretchen thrusts JJ deeper into the mystery, and trouble comes to town... Want to check out Laurence & Lindsay's other podcast, Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica? Click this link! Want to browse the Long Cat Media shop? Head on down here! Mockery Manor is written and directed by Lindsay Sharman. Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen. Hayley Evenett was JJ and Bette, Laurence Owen was Parker, Giuseppe, Antoine and Bohdanko, Abbie Eastwood was Gretchen, Lindsay Sharman was Margot and the Turnstile Operator, and Sooz Kempner was Ingrid. Mockery Manor is part of the Fable and Folly network. Visit their website for more info. For transcripts and more information about Mockery Manor, and our two other podcasts Madame Magenta and The Ballad of Anne & Mary, visit www.longcatmedia.com Or follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @MockeryManor and also @LongCatMedia This podcast is supported by our wonderful Ko-fi patrons. If you'd like to support the show and help us keep going, visit our website, or go to www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia www.fableandfolly.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices