Restore Yourself. Restore Your Marriage.

Shellie Anderson

It can be really hard to fix a marriage when you feel broken inside. It can be a challenge to try to meet your spouse's needs when your own are not being met or even fully understood. If you grew up religious or with high moral standards, this can add even more stress to the equation. This is a podcast that talks about the many challenges in marriage, and yes, even intimacy, and how they are effecting you on a personal level. Each week we take a deep dive into what is keeping your foot on the brakes when it comes to your arousal levels and what drives you to step on the accelerator. As your certified Life Coach, we will explore many fascinating topics, such as the different styles of arousal, the many types of intimacy, how blame effects our mood, the reasons we engage in these recreational shenanigans in the first place, and how life coaching skills get us through it all. read less

Religion & SpiritualityReligion & Spirituality

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Mandatory Pleasure For Men

Mandatory Pleasure For Men

Sign up for a FREE Discovery Session at shellie.andersoncoaching.com. Have you ever wondered why men seem to enjoy and want sex so much more than their wife? While many might assume that its simply because their testosterone levels are higher, it's not the only reason.The arousing shenanigans of procreation actually requires the man to have "pleasure in the process" in order for it to be successful; it's mandatory. But this is not the same for women. The sweet spot of their most pleasurable nerve endings doesn't automatically line up the same way, and is located in a totally separate place. So, on the one hand, its completely possible that women are having ZERO pleasure during sex while still successful with the reproductive process. They consistently experience "success without pleasure." But on the other hand, its completely impossible for men to be successful without pleasure! For them, sex requires pleasure, consistently. So, what do we do about this? Listen in on today's episode as we dive into some insightful definitions that shed a little light on what has been missing, then make a decision to start using The Intimacy Trek, and sign up for a FREE Discovery Session with Shellie

Episodes

Mandatory Pleasure For Men

Mandatory Pleasure For Men

Sign up for a FREE Discovery Session at shellie.andersoncoaching.com. Have you ever wondered why men seem to enjoy and want sex so much more than their wife? While many might assume that its simply because their testosterone levels are higher, it's not the only reason.The arousing shenanigans of procreation actually requires the man to have "pleasure in the process" in order for it to be successful; it's mandatory. But this is not the same for women. The sweet spot of their most pleasurable nerve endings doesn't automatically line up the same way, and is located in a totally separate place. So, on the one hand, its completely possible that women are having ZERO pleasure during sex while still successful with the reproductive process. They consistently experience "success without pleasure." But on the other hand, its completely impossible for men to be successful without pleasure! For them, sex requires pleasure, consistently. So, what do we do about this? Listen in on today's episode as we dive into some insightful definitions that shed a little light on what has been missing, then make a decision to start using The Intimacy Trek, and sign up for a FREE Discovery Session with Shellie

Less Rhetoric, More Sex

Less Rhetoric, More Sex

Book your FREE Discover Session today at www.shellie.andersoncoaching.comHave you ever wondered what approach a husband takes when he is feeling in the mood for sex? Often, there is no strategic approach at all. And even more often, the approaches they do try often fall short.Listen in on today's episode where we look closer at a not-so-obvious trap about rhetoric that seems to be at the root of the many faulty approaches and quick fix attempts. Discover 3 tips for having a better discussion about sex that benefits BOTH the husband and the wife.

Total Eclipse of the Intimate Heart

Total Eclipse of the Intimate Heart

Have you ever considered that there could be some awesome intimacy insights that could be gained during this unique time of the solar eclipse? If you haven't, maybe this could be your invitation to do just that.Listen in as we discuss some of the obvious occurrences that happen in nature during an eclipse and how it can relate to intimacy. During this time of transformation, when the sun is obscured by the moon, can act as a signal for our own internal transformation... as we allow the superficial ways of approaching intimacy to gain the corona (higher way of thinking) approach, with 5 eclipsing ideas.

Intimacy's Exciting Easter egg hunt

Intimacy's Exciting Easter egg hunt

Do you want to try something fun with intimacy this week? Then this is the episode for you. And while many women end up on the short end of the stick when it comes to how much pleasure they are experiencing with intimacy, there is so much potential that has yet to be discovered.Listen in on today's episode where we explore the ratio of potential pleasure that is possible for couples and how to advocate for it. With the fun and adventure of searching for Easter eggs as a guide, you can create your own sexy hunt with a brand new challenge hidden inside the eggs. Spring into this fun and easy activity to improve intimacy this week.

When Sex and Fun are NOT in the Same Sentence

When Sex and Fun are NOT in the Same Sentence

Did you know that there are a lot of married women who don't put the words sex and fun in the same sentence? If you are a married woman reading this, it might seem like common knowledge. But a married man reading this might be feeling like a freight train just hit him. He may even wonder, how can sex NOT be fun?In today's episode, we take a closer look at this concept and the meta-message that takes root when a spouse thinks that sex is not fun. While it may seem like an impossible task to overcome, when one spouse thinks sex is fun and the other doesn't, there is a beautiful opportunity hidden within this opposition.Listen in as we challenge this opposition and use it as an invitation, inviting newness and creativity to the table as well as a movement closer to one another instead of further apart. Sentences are seeds for our intimate experience... so let's plant some fun sexy seeds!

The Fastest Formula to Female Arousal

The Fastest Formula to Female Arousal

Have you ever felt like, just when things were going well and headed towards a romantic night of intimacy, things got sabotaged? I'm guessing it's happened to most of us, even if we didn't mean for it to happen... and the sexiness gets derailed.And sometimes, we can even get off track for days, or even weeks, at a time when this takes place. But what would happen if the next time, we were able to get back on track much faster? That would be amazing. Listen in on today's episode where we discuss a faster system to ignite female arousal, the way that advocating and activating it makes a difference, and how knowing this system is valuable for BOTH husband and wife. Bring it on, and let's get turned on, faster.

Spicing Up Your Boring Sex Salad

Spicing Up Your Boring Sex Salad

Have you ever had some deep introspective thoughts about sex and intimacy while you were eating a salad? If not, you are not alone. I hadn't either, until recently.As I looked down at all of the ingredients in my salad, the cucumbers really caught my attention. Why? I realized that I normally don't like cucumbers on their own. I find them boring. I don't crave them and I'm never upset when I don't have them around.But when they are mixed in with the other ingredients, I absolutely love them! Listen in on today's episode where we challenge ourselves to add other ingredients into our intimate experience so that it will be more fun, enjoyable and satisfying... and maybe even something we crave.

Intimacy Entropy

Intimacy Entropy

Have you ever heard the word entropy before? Have you ever applied the concept to the intimacy in your marriage? While most of us probably have a general idea of what entropy is, we may never have thought of it when it comes to sex with our spouse.On today's episode, we dive into this topic just a little bit deeper to see how entropy will take its toll on our relationship if we don't make a decision to do something about it on purpose. If you have ever thought, "I haven't really done anything different, but things seem to be getting a little worse," then you are probably falling into the cycle of entropy. Listen in to find out just how easy it can be to get out of the entropy trap and to experience intimacy on a much more enjoyable level.

5 Fears That Prevent Intimacy Progress

5 Fears That Prevent Intimacy Progress

Have you ever wanted to seek help to improve intimacy, only to be held back by some fears? This is very common, and is sadly that thing that keeps us stuck and keeps us from feeling closer to our spouse faster.Listen in on today's episode where we dive into the top 5 fears that prevent improvement in the challenging topic of intimacy. These are the fears that my clients wish they would have addressed sooner... before things got so bad that they were just feeling desperate and even considering divorce.

Best... Sex... Ever!!!

Best... Sex... Ever!!!

Have you ever wondered what contributes to having the best sex ever? While we might think it comes when we fulfill a checklist of sorts, it might come as a surprise that it can happen under even the most challenging and unexpected circumstances.Listen in as we take a closer look at some of the surprising elements that led to such an experience. It was not planned in advance and it did not involve any elaborate or large romantic gestures. But it did come through the process of two adults actually facing some hard challenges in their life. Don't miss out on what you could be putting into your life to create more opportunities for the best sex ever!

Vanquishing Valentine's Day Sabotagers

Vanquishing Valentine's Day Sabotagers

Do you know what the most researched topic is when it comes to Valentine's Day? It might not be what you think it is. With all that is going on in the world today, people seem to be wanting to get back to their roots, and are wondering what love really is.Listen in as we remind ourselves with love really is, the things that might sabotage it during Valentine's Day, and what we can do to feel the love even more. Don't limit love, but instead, put more into your week on purpose with the following 5 tips!

The Sultry Sexiness of Stopping to Smell the Roses

The Sultry Sexiness of Stopping to Smell the Roses

Have you ever felt like you were longing for a little bit more from you intimate experience? If so, you are not alone. In a world of instant gratification, it should come as no surprise when we sometimes feel like something is lacking that may require just a little more of our time.Listen in on today's episode where we explore how sexy it is to slow the intimate experience down, include the senses, and involve the brain as well as the body. Heightening the journey to pleasure can be a total turn on for women and can help to increase the level of fulfillment experienced.

Sexy Wins for National Spouse's Day

Sexy Wins for National Spouse's Day

Did you know that there is a National Spouse's Day? Don't worry, I didn't know either, until very recently. But how cool is that? This is not the same as Valentine's Day. Since most people don't even know about it, there aren't any expectations to plan elaborate romantic dates or buy expensive gifts.It's just a day to celebrate your spouse. You can choose to celebrate any amazing aspect about them. We get to tap into our creativity and celebrate any way we want.Listen in on today's episode as we share some quick and easy ways to include this fun and unique holiday into our lives. And you never know, adding some fun and spontaneous celebrations might be just the thing that our relationship needs to get the sparks ignited again.

Lacking Pleasure, Lacking Desire

Lacking Pleasure, Lacking Desire

Have you ever wondered why so many wives don't seem to have as strong of a desire for sex as their husband? While a huge difference in their natural and normal hormone levels does exist, there is often a different kind of connection that is missing.It's interesting to note that while husbands and wives are pretty much having the same amount of sex with each other, the husbands are experiencing much more pleasure than their wife... leading them to want to have more of it. Sadly, their wife is having a less than pleasurable experience, leading her to want to have less of it.But it doesn't need to be that way. Listen in on today's episode where we dive deep into the connection between the pleasure we are having during sex, how it creates the desire for more of it, and how a missing chemical reaction in the brain could easily be at the heart of it all!

Ignored or Ignited

Ignored or Ignited

Have you ever felt like certain parts of you were being ignored by your spouse while other parts were getting all the attention? It's fairly common to have thoughts like this from time to time and it can easily lead to us feeling a bit down in the dumps.Listen in as we dive just a little bit deeper into what it actually means to be ignored and what we can do when we feel we need more attention than we're getting. The options available to us on how we can respond are pretty simple and easy to implement.And to make things even better, we will also take a closer look at what it means to be ignited about something... even certain aspects about ourselves. Being ignited is a much more fun experience and certainly a much more empowering approach to our relationships.

Have you ever found yourself feeling used by your spouse? It's not a fun feeling. For a lot of women, they often feel like they are being used by their husband for sex. And for many husbands, they feel like they are being used for their money.But what if that is not actually the case? Sadly, we can easily think these kinds of negative thoughts and make assumptions and interpretations about our spouse that just aren't true. This just leaves us feeling miserable.Listen in on today's episode where we take a closer look at what the world tells us to do when we are faced with a situation like this, and then we will explore a more effective coach-approach. Let's go!

The Fun of a Dream Driven Marriage for 2024

The Fun of a Dream Driven Marriage for 2024

Have you ever held back your dreaming when it comes to your marriage or intimacy? Sometimes, we do this is as a way to protect ourselves... hoping to avoid getting hurt, just in case they don't come true.And then sadly, over time, we often stop dreaming all together. And when we stop dreaming, it can become harder to take positive steps to improve things. We can then lose the joy that we once experienced in our relationship.Listen in on today's episode where we take a closer look at what it means to dream, what it means to bring the FUN to those dreams, and some simple steps we can take to make the whole process more enjoyable. Let's dream big for 2024!

Holiday Mishaps and The 3 Stages of Marriage

Holiday Mishaps and The 3 Stages of Marriage

Did you know that there are three stages of marriage? While many people have heard about the love languages or the seasons of marriage, we may not be as familiar with the stages of marriage. Not to worry.Listen in on today's episode where we will define and explore these three stages. There are some simple signs that will help us learn if we are feeling stuck in one of the stages and are operating from a place of resentment and resignation.Learn the signs and what to do when you feel stuck. Marriage can be better than it is right now, and a coach-approach can make all the difference.

Pumped, Primed, and Ready For Action

Pumped, Primed, and Ready For Action

Have you ever felt like something was missing from your intimate experience? If so, you are not alone. This happens to most couples from time to time and is totally normal.Listen in on today's episode where we take a closer look at the reproductive systems of men and women, where they line up (or should we say where they don't line up), and why its easier for men the be pumped and primed and ready for action.Discover why things are bit more challenging for women when it comes to arousal and learn what to focus on so that the female pleasure system can get fair representation in the experience. This small but significant shift make a huge difference!

Where to Start with Intimacy Issues

Where to Start with Intimacy Issues

Have you ever felt overwhelmed or weighed down by the challenges you are facing with intimacy? Maybe, as you start to think about the lack of interest in sex or the lack of initiating it, you realize that it leads to thinking about how unfair things seem to be, which leads to thinking about another negative aspect of the intimate experience. And before long, it all seems too big and too complicated to solve.If you have ever felt this way, you are not alone. Its actually quite common and normal. The challenge we will face when we feel overwhelmed or weighed down is that we will get stuck, almost paralyzed, not knowing where to start making improvements... which usually means that we don't start at all.But today is the day that all of that changes! Listen in on today's episode where we discuss how easy it is to start and where to start. This momentum can become very powerful. As you start to feel the relief of knowing where to start, you will be naturally motivated to take the next step needed to improve your intimacy challenges.