Confident Sober Women


My name is Shelby John and July 1, 2002 was the first day of my second life! And I haven’t found it necessary to take a drink or a drug since! My sobriety has given me the freedom to dedicate my life to helping others as a clinical social worker specializing in trauma. In this podcast you will hear real life talk about building confidence and transforming your life beyond recovery!

Boundaries In Love And Sex Addiction w/Brianne Davis
Brianne Davis is a powerhouse female in the entertainment industry in both film and television. She has over 12 years of recovery as a Sex and Love Addict, and hosts the popular personal journal podcast “Secret Life.” Her debut novel, “Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict,” hit the best-sellers list on Amazon earlier this year.Brianne and I talk about emotional addiction–getting drunk on the chemical reactions that happen in your brain in certain situations/with people. We know that childhood trauma contributes to these triggers and addictions and you can be addicted to a person/people. Brianna talks about her experience with emotional incest: when a parent rapes a child of their energy. We discuss setting and sticking to healthy boundaries in relationships and other areas of our lives. She would drain people of all their energy trying to get her needs met.  If you want to dive more into boundaries check out my course Creating Healthy Boundaries! Click the link for more information.When you’re in recovery of any kind, you have to wake up every day and recommit. This requires doing the inner work to figure out how you want people to show up for you.  You can connect with Brianne on Instagram (@thebriannedavis @secretlifenovel @secretlifepodcast), website, podcast, TikTok @the.briannedavisIf you aren't in the Confident Sober Women Facebook group that is the best place for you to grow confidence and emotional sobriety! Come on over.And could you take a minute to leave a rating and a review of this podcast? It helps so much to get the word out to other women who want to grow their lives beyond recovery.Resources mentioned: 40 SLAA Self Diagnose QuestionnaireThe You You’ve Never Met by Dr. Andrea VitzBrianne’s book Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex and Love Addict
2d ago
44 mins
Healthy Relationships In Sobriety w/Tara Boyce
Tara talks about the challenges of going back to reality after being in a program where someone else cares for you/dictates everything you do.  There were difficulties in relationships sometimes her demanding too much or not pulling her own weight. Her primary relationship was with alcohol. Alcoholism is a love affair with alcohol. Tara sought out relationships with people with similar wounds (trauma bonding) to try and heal them together. Her desire was to be in an enmeshed romantic relationship while at the same time she struggled with fear of rejection and being controlled. Alcohol became an alibi for poor behavior in relationships. Relationships were hard to navigate in recovery because she was always looking for someone to fix her. She tried to be someone she wasn’t when she was drinking–realized that that person wasn’t really who she was. Had to relearn skills in relationships. We talk about healthy relationships consisting of two people being individuals as opposed to being completely enmeshed and co-dependent. There is a lot of learning to regulate and express emotions in relationships as well as recognize anxious thoughts about the other person that may not be facts. You can listen to Tara's interactive memoir via the podcast Addicted To Recovery here addictedtorecovery.ca.  Or on Facebook https:// www.facebook.com/tara.nicole.boyce If you aren't a member of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, come on over and join us. It is a FREE private group for sober women looking to grow their emotional sobriety and build the confidence they need to love their lives beyond recovery.And would you please take 2 minutes to leave a rating and review? It really does mean the world to me plus it helps to get this podcast out to even more sober women.  Thank you so much.
May 10 2022
47 mins
Alcohol Free Beverages w/Laura Silverman
When Laura got sober she had to change the way she socialized and her circle of friends. She realized who were drinking buddies and who were true friends. It took her about a year to start socializing alcohol free. She was in a season where she was going to lots of weddings, many of which didn’t have beverage options for non-drinkers. She started to ask ahead of time if there would be options and people were always willing to accommodate–don’t be afraid to ask! For smaller social gatherings bring your own beverage. Things like “Dry January” give people a socially acceptable reason to take a break from drinking. There are many reasons for people not to want to drink, hopefully, there continues to be an increase in non-alcoholic options at events. First-year of Covid gave people the opportunity to explore sober curiosity since they weren’t going out. There are so many options today for people who want to get sober or quit drinking. Alcohol-free drinks can be triggering for those in recovery, but a great option for sober curious people. Laura created Zero Proof Nation–a resource hub/directory of anything non-alcoholic, zero-proof, low ABV (alcohol by volume). You can find Laura on Instagram @Wearesober.Show mentioned: Single Drunk Female on Hulu Come join me and a bunch of other sober women in the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, that's where all the good stuff happens. And If you can take 2 minutes to leave a rating and review for this podcast it would mean a lot!!
May 3 2022
44 mins
Drinking Alcohol Free w/Faye Lawrence
Faye didn’t realize that there were people who just don’t drink because they don’t want/like to (not because they’re in recovery). But it's true. On thing we know for sure is alcohol stunts emotional maturity at age you start drinking. Once you’re out of early sobriety (around a year) you start doing more work in growing and making changes–in thinking patterns, socializing, recognizing who are supportive vs. toxic people in our lives, developing strategies for day to day living. It takes work to relearn and reparent ourselves, this is a huge part of emotional sobriety. Friendships change and some are not able to transition. Very often we find there is a grieving period for many people, grieving their old lives. We discussed alcohol-free products and how they can be triggering for people in recovery but great for grey area drinkers/sober curious people, especially for social situations. We are hardwired to be social and connect with other people and social anxiety also plays a role. It’s important to be able to socialize without alcohol. Faye created Untoxicated a group for anyone who wants to socialize without alcohol. You can learn more about it on their website, https://untoxicated.com.au/  or https://www.facebook.com/untoxicatedaus,  on on Instagram @untoxicated_aus.If you aren't in the Confident Sober Women Facebook group come on over and join us. We are a group of like minded women doing the work to grow. Oh and if you like this podcast can you please leave a rating and review, it really helps us spread the word.
Apr 26 2022
46 mins
Socializing Without Alcohol w/Courtney Anderson
Apr 19 2022
46 mins
Socializing And Creativity In Sobriety w/Tammi SalasPresence In Sobriety With Harm Reduction w/Claudian Christian
Claudia is an actress, speaker, author and Sinclair Method advocate. She is also a woman in long term sobriety who found freedom through the use of harm reduction.Claudia started out as a normal social drinker but turned into a binge drinker and realized she had a problem.  She went through many different programs and tried all different kinds of therapies and treatments, but her cravings remained debilitating. In 2009 went through medical detox that used the Sinclair Method–taking the opiate blocker Naltrexone before drinking alcohol to block reinforcement in the brain and decrease desire to drink alcohol. Three months into the Sinclair Method she completely forgot about alcohol. Used it for “harm reduction” and continued to drink occasionally for the first nine years before she decided to use it to get sober. We discuss the monetization of addiction in America (the revolving door model–people perpetually going through expensive treatment programs and then relapsing), and how the low cost of the generic drug Naltrexone is not lucrative for Big Pharma. We share how having a sense of “emotional sobriety”--keeping the joy within us even when things in life get hard is critical.  Being sober means being present with our emotions and being able to better heal from loss. You can find Claudia at C 3 Foundation or email her at  claudia.christian@cthreefoundation.org.Claudia made a documentary: One Little Pill on Amazon- website: onelittlepillmovie.com If you aren't in the Confident Sober Women Facebook group come on over and join us its free and a great place to learn about emotional sobriety and building confidence beyond recovery.Will you do me a favor and leave a rating and review for the podcast. It really does help other women find us!! Thank you so much.
Apr 5 2022
49 mins
5 Ways To Take Responsibility For Your LifeOvercoming Victim Consciousness w/Jo Harvey WeatherfordThe Masculine Energy Within You w/Amy Louise CashShame, Boundaries, and the 17 Emotions w/Karla McLarenThe Positive Parts Of Not Drinking w/Deb MasnerThe Needs Of Your Human Animal w/Sarah RobertsPractical Tools For Better Sleep With Katie HensonDiscovering What Healthy Means To You w/The Sober NutritionistYour beliefs about sugar are holding you back w/Colleen KachmannTaking Care Of Yourself To Find Joy w/Amanda KleinBack Stoop Sobriety For Overwhelm w/Dana BowmanHow Her "Source" Eased The Overwhelm Of Getting Sober W/JewelsPost Holiday Blues It's A Real Thing [Solo Episode]