And: Joe-Joe Siwa "wrote" a new song

And: Rancho spends her free time emailing ass-scientists. (I swear to God, not clickbait.)

Who knew an underground weed "restaurant" in an abandoned bagel store could be bad

What do our vulnerable child stars need? Two words: Nathen Mazri.

In the Zoomers hour of need, their digital savior returns...

Sirancha's Hamtaro pencil toppers arrive just in time for us to review "Hamtaro: The Captive Princess."

And: Asterios finds a way to insult every single Sephora employee at once

Also: Sirancha fails to buy 100 Hamtaro pencil toppers. Three different times.

Also: Rancho takes her first dab ever (with her little brother)

Also: Asterios gets banned from the family Minecraft server

For her birthday, Rancho makes us all play TikTok's favorite new visual novel, the sociopath-simulator "Class of '09"

Also: Rancho chases three different wild birds out of our house

Asterios did something so stupid it would have gone viral on Buzzfeed back in 2011. Also: we dive into the world of "World Of T-Shirts!"

And: Niko teaches you the right (and wrong) way to trip balls

Rancho eats an entire bag of "Heavy Hitters" gummies and loses her mind on air for your amusement. Enjoy!

Also: how exactly did that guy get diarrhea "all throughout" that airplane? We discuss.

Imagine leaking your own mugshot for clout

You'll never guess what happened

Did you know you can gamble real money on Wheel of Fortune? One boomer's wallet found out the hard way.

Also: is it "Loaf & Chug" or "Loaf & Jug?"