Hops and Box Office Flops

Hops and Box Office Flops

A film podcast dedicated to the underdogs — the disasters, the bombs, the much maligned! So sit back, grab a beer, and enjoy! read less
TV & FilmTV & Film

Episodes

Equilibrium – Sense Offender
2d ago
Equilibrium – Sense Offender
Equilibrium centers on post-World War III society, Libria, where emotions have been outlawed. Daily, citizens must take scheduled injections of Prozium II to ensure they don't begin to feel. Violators are handled with prejudice. If that sounds familiar, it should. Equilibrium, despite a few nifty action scenes, is highly derivative of better dystopian fiction. One of its few innovations—enforcement agents trained in the art of gun kata known as the Grammaton Clerics—are just wannabe Neo clones. Oh, and as you'll hear on the pod, gun kata is really goddamn stupid. A backyard creation of Equilibrium's director, Kurt Wimmer, gun kata is the equivalent of the old Star Wars kid YouTube video. As in, it may have looked cool in his head, but he probably should've thought better than to film people doing it. Now, sit back, curb your emotions with a Third Eye PA from Third Eye Brewing, and don't forget your morning dose! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are ridding the world of contraband, one Da Vinci painting at a time! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – In a future where freedom is outlawed, outlaws will become heroes! (0:00)Lingering Questions – On a graded scale—F to A—how would we assess the final action scene? (51:28)The "Prozium II" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:09:19)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude Dystopian Flops with one of 2024's biggest bombs, Boy Kills World! (1:23:24) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!
The Running Man – It's Showtime
Jul 12 2024
The Running Man – It's Showtime
The Running Man, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, resembles the Richard Bachman (Stephen King) novel it was based on in name only. Naturally, since its lead is the "Austrian Oak," it is a testosterone-fueled action movie with a light sprinkling of dystopian allegories. That said, it crushes both of those elements. Certainly, The Running Man's dire warnings may feel satirical, but viewed through a contemporary lens, they are wildly prescient. Deep fake technology, live executions being fed to the masses in the form of a game show, and an America run by corporate greed are not just plausible, we're living through most of it. In the 1980s, when the country was high on Reaganomics, The Running Man's themes sadly failed to resonate with audiences. On a budget of nearly $30 million, it grossed just north of $38 million. That, unlike Cadre Cola, does not hit the spot. Now, sit back, get energized with a Hazing Arizona from Walter Station Brewery, and let's start running! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla love this saw. It's a part of us, and now we're gonna make it a part of you! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The year is 2019. The finest men in America don't run for President. They run for their lives! (0:00)Lingering Questions – We need one kill. Which Stalker do we pick for the job? (35:03)The "Captain Freedom's Workout" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (55:18)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Dystopian Flops with some B-grade Gun-Fu in Equilibrium! (1:05:24) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!
Blade Runner – Skin Jobs
Jul 5 2024
Blade Runner – Skin Jobs
When it was released in 1982, few could've predicted Blade Runner would become the cultural landmark that it did. Sure, it was well reviewed at the time and remains so, but it was generally slept on by audiences. Time has only seen the appreciation for it grow. Its cult status is well deserved. Blade Runner is a masterpiece of the genre—a truly seminal science fiction film. Buoyed by Rutger Hauer's masterful performance as replicant Roy Batty, it is a film that engrosses you in its post-apocalyptic world. And, like all essential science fiction, it poses important questions about what makes us human. If you haven't seen it, there is no better time than the present. Now, sit back, dull your guilt with a Tsingtao, and don't question the impending end of your existence! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are "retiring"replicants who dare question their masters! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Man has made his match. Now, it's his problem! (0:00)Lingering Questions – From flop to cult classic. How do we feel about the legacy of Blade Runner? (41:05)The "Tyrell Corporation" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:09:29)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Dystopian Flops with Arnold's other 1987 sci-fi classic, The Running Man! (1:22:13) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Jury Duty – Find Him Guilty
Jun 28 2024
Jury Duty – Find Him Guilty
Jury Duty was one of the last gasps in the fading stardom of Pauly Shore. Son of the legendary Mitzi Shore, Pauly was briefly—and inexplicably—a Hollywood thing in the 90s. With his dopey, laissez-faire  chic, he headlined a string of movies, most of which weren’t very good. Jury Duty falls into the unfortunate section of his filmography. A riff on 12 Angry Men, the movie centers on one dipshit juror, who refuses to render a verdict because the $5 they’re making per day is too sweet a deal. As one could imagine, flat jokes, racist impressions, a romantic subplot, and our moronic lead actually doing the right thing all follow. It’s obnoxious, unfunny, off putting, and seems far longer than 87 minutes. Hence why critics and audiences found Jury Duty guilty on all charges, sentencing it to 0% on Rotten Tomatoes and purchasing far less tickets than the movie cost to make. Now, sit back drown out the annoyance of Pauly Shore's voice with a Harpoon IPA, and never bet against Peanut's Jeopardy skills! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are sharing a burrito with Judge Ito! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – For truth. For justice. For five bucks a day! (0:00)Lingering Questions – Why was Pauly Shore a thing? (32:52)The "The Fast Food Killer" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (52:00)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off Dystopian Flops with a sci-fi masterpiece, Blade Runner! (1:03:18) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Nothing But Trouble – Struck Dumb By a Thunderclap
Jun 21 2024
Nothing But Trouble – Struck Dumb By a Thunderclap
Nothing But Trouble is so bizarre that it's hard to believe it exists. The brain child of Dan Aykroyd, it is a menagerie of his wildest ideas and characters. And, since he wrote, directed, and produced it, there was nobody on set with enough clout to have him rein it in a little. Ghostbusters this is not. Despite that, Aykroyd should be commended for going all in on his ideas. When your film involves a prosthetic nose shaped like the tip of a penis and two ghastly looking grown men covered in crud and oil and wearing diapers, it's clear you've committed to the bit. Nothing But Trouble is a singular vision. Whether you think it works or not—more than likely not—is up to you. Critics, for their part, hated it, sentencing it to 15% on Rotten Tomatoes. Audiences were apparently also baffled by it. Nothing But Trouble is one of the largest box office flops of all time. It grossed less than $9 million on a budget of $45 million. Hey, hey, ha! Ho ha! Heh heh heh heh! Hoola, Hoola, Hoola! The Boola Boola Boola! Look who's got the front seats to the Mexican hat dance now! Now, sit back, tour Judge Alvin "JP" Valkenheiser's house of horrors with a King Crispy Pilsner from Deschutes Brewing, and get yourself up a couple of dogs! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are riding the harrowing rails of Mr. Bone Stripper! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – All they wanted was a little getaway. All they got was nothing but trouble! (0:00)Lingering Questions – Is this the oddest movie we've ever done? (35:14)The "Mr. Bone Stripper" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (43:32)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish Objection! Flops with the worst gift the 90s ever gave us Pauly Shore in Jury Duty! (50:36) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Find Me Guilty – We're Gagsters
Jun 14 2024
Find Me Guilty – We're Gagsters
In Find Me Guilty, Vin Diesel stars as "Fat" Jackie DiNorscio, one of several defendants in a federal racketeering trial. That trial was the longest Mafia trial in American history. That conceit is interesting in and of itself, but the fact that DiNorscio served as his own attorney really puts it over the top. Using original court transcripts throughout, DiNorscio makes for a compelling movie character. And Diesel's portrayal of him is some of his finest work on film. DiNorscio is charming and funny. His counterpart, Sean Kierney (in reality, Samuel Alito) played by  Linus Roache is the opposite. He's a brash, cocky prick that you really want DiNorscio to stick it to. Yes, the mobsters are the bad guys, but they are not bad guys. The penultimate film of the great Sidney Lumet, it's a shame that Find Me Guilty didn't find a wider audience at the time of its release. Buy, hey, it's free to stream now, so what are you waiting for? So, sit back, overrule any objections you have with a Tropical High Hazy IPA from Sweetwater Brewing, and don't rat! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla aren't gangsters. We're gagsters! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Sometimes the best defense. . . is a wiseguy! (00:00)Lingering Questions – Should Vin Diesel have taken on more serious roles like this one? (27:25)The "I Love Yous Guys" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (59:58)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Objection! Flops with the Dan Aykroyd-helmed disaster Nothing But Trouble! (1:12:33) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Gotti – La Cosa Nostra
Jun 7 2024
Gotti – La Cosa Nostra
Gotti is the dramatic retelling of the rise and fall of one time New York Mafia kingpin John J. Gotti. Historically, mob stories have been excellent cinematic fodder. That is not the case here. Produced by Junior Gotti, the son of the late head of the Gambino Crime Family, this film lacks a compelling narrative. And since it is told non-linearly, most of the proceedings are a jumbled mess. Thus, for those unfamiliar with Gotti's journey to power and subsequent arrests, it is quite hard to follow. Gotti is severely lacking in context, a fact driven home by its series of random conversations between the titular ne'er do well and his various associates. Those involved surely knew they had a stinker on their hands, making their decision to premiere it at the Cannes Film Festival all the more baffling. Now, sit back, swear your allegiance to the pod by spilling a Breaking Bud IPA from Knee Deep Brewing Co., and search for those wiretaps! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are tampering with juries and earning our stripes in the streets! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – He showed the world who's boss! (00:00)Lingering Questions – Is Gotti truly worth of its 0% rating? (30:58)The "The Boss is the Boss..." Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (48:10)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Objection! Flops with another mob movie Find Me Guilty! (1:01:16) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Land of the Lost – A Big Ol' Bladder of Hadrosaur Urine
May 31 2024
Land of the Lost – A Big Ol' Bladder of Hadrosaur Urine
Land of the Lost is the second reboot of a niche TV show from the 70s. With a far bigger budget and a cast of comedy all-stars—including Will Ferrell and Danny McBride—one would think the big screen version would elevate the odd source material. Alas, it could not. Land of the Lost is an unfunny slog through a pseudo prehistoric parallel dimension. It is one filled with a vengeful T-Rex, horny lizard-like aliens, and a deluge of assorted, rifted junk. Sandwiched in between all of that is a string of forced jokes, and Will Ferrell lazily attempting to play the hits and hallmarks of his career. It's no wonder that critics lambasted it. Land of the Lost sits at 26% on Rotten Tomatoes. Audiences also chose to leave it stranded somewhere in time. It earned just $68.8 million worldwide. For lack of a better word, its box office fortunes were extinct. Now, sit back, mask your scent with a Monarch Juicy IPA from High Grain Brewing Co., and find the tachyon amplifier! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are locating a portal between worlds in the Devil's Canyon Mystery Cave! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Experience a new dimension in adventure! (00:00)Lingering Questions – Did we find any of this ridiculous enterprise funny? (33:00)The "Beware the Sleestak" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (52:56)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off Objection! Flops with the movie that showed the world who's boss, Gotti! (1:09:19) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Waterworld – Gills and Thrills
May 24 2024
Waterworld – Gills and Thrills
Waterworld was Kevin Costner’s massive swing at post-apocalyptic adventure. As the film’s gruff lead, the Mariner, Costner is essentially just a seafaring Mad Max, wandering the oceanic wasteland trying to survive. If that sounds cool, then you’ll probably love it. And for the most part, it is pretty damn awesome. What made Waterworld such an easy target for critics and the public was its massive budget and oft rumored issues during production. The budget did balloon and was indeed sizable. The rumors of on-set discord are more than likely true, but they shouldn’t detract from the film itself. Waterworld took an impossible premise and somehow made most of its ideas float. Thus, despite earning just $264.2 million worldwide on an all-in budget of $235 million, it was hardly the catastrophe most made it out to be. Plus, you get Dennis Hopper with an eye-patch, mutant sharks, a rad trimaran, jet ski fights, and a fish-man mutant as the hero! What’s not to love? Now, sit back, purify your urine with a Big Wave from Kona, and remember: It's never to early to start smoking! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are scouring the bottom of the ocean for fresh dirt to trade! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Beyond the horizon lies the secret to a new beginning! (00:00)Lingering Questions – Does Waterworld deserve its reputation as one of cinema's great disasters? (49:45)The "Dry Land is a Myth" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:08:59)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude Adventurous Flops with one of the more misguided big screen reboots, Land of the Lost! (1:19:41) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins – The Anti-CURE for Boredom
May 17 2024
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins – The Anti-CURE for Boredom
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins is based on The Destroyer series of pulp novels. Clearly inspired by James Bond, the character takes an American spin on the cloak and dagger antics of black ops. Unlike Agent 007, though, Remo Williams—at least in his big screen incarnation—is not the most compelling character. And by modern sensibilities, it doesn't help that his trainer—an elderly Korean marital arts master named Chiun—is an assemblage of racist tropes. Oh, lest I forget, he's played by a white actor in bad makeup. Cue the wide eyes emoji. Thus, despite being helmed by 60s/70s Bond staple Guy Hamilton, Remo Williams fails to capture the charm of those cinematic escapades. And on a budget of $40 million—which was quite high for 1985—it grossed just $14.4 million. Cinematic universes are not born with those type of receipts. Now, sit back, toast to your new identity with a Backyard Explorer IPA from Pizza Port Brewing Co., and remember to breathe! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are enforcing the 11th Commandment, "Thou shalt not get away with it"! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – It's going to take a dead man to save the country...from a death merchant's dream of destruction! (00:00)Lingering Questions – Would Remo Williams work as either a movie or show today? (27:14)The "Blue Collar James Bond" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (39:25)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continued Adventurous Flops with one of the wettest and most notorious flops, Waterworld! (49:04) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Sahara – Tequila Jones
May 10 2024
Sahara – Tequila Jones
Sahara was meant to be the next big adventure franchise—an Indiana Jones for a new era. Its main character—Dirk Pitt played by Matthew McConaughey—was the lead in a series of novels by Clive Cussler. The material was there to be mined, but the audience was not. Despite its inspiration, Sahara could not match the popularity of the novels. Grossing just $119 million worldwide, it took quite the hit at the box office, especially since the cost of the film ballooned during production. The reasons for why those costs went off the rails are plentiful and detailed extensively in an old LA Times piece. Its failure aside, there is some fun to be had. With exciting set pieces and that classic McConaughey charm, this should not have been the flop it was. Now, sit back, quench your thirst for adventure with a Shiner Bock from the Spoetzl Brewery, and don't drink that well water! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are pulling a Panama to evade the fuzz! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Adventure has a new name ... Dirk Pitt! (00:00)Lingering Questions – Outside of die hard Clive Cussler fans (Bling Blake), who would want a sequel to this movie? (29:48)The "USS Texas" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (49:20)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff Adventurous Flops with the world's most handsome treasure seeker in Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins! (1:02:19) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Speed Racer – Go, Speed, Go!
Apr 26 2024
Speed Racer – Go, Speed, Go!
Speed Racer, based on a popular Japanese Manga and cartoon from the 1960s, is a CGI explosion of high speed hijinks. Directed by Lilly and Lana Wachowski, it embodies much of what made the series so beloved. That works to its benefit and detriment. For those unfamiliar with Speed Racer's inspiration, there is a barrier to entry. Essentially, this is an eccentric film based on an eccentric property. And the sheer amount of colors and whizzing computer effects don't make Speed Racer any easier to digest. It is a live action cartoon, where almost everything thrown at you looks flat. It comes as no surprise then that this failed to recoup its $120 million budget, earning just $93.9 million. Critics also largely dismissed it. Speed Racer sits at 42% on Rotten Tomatoes with 218 reviews. All that aside, though, this is a movie fans of the property seem to love, and, undeniably, there is a certain charm to the movie. Now, sit back, put the pedal to the metal with a Busch Light, and watch out for that Chim Chim cake! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are high-stakes rally racing to take down corporate ne'er-do-wells! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Speed has no limits. In the world's fastest race, nothing can slow you down! (00:00)Lingering Questions – Is Speed Racer truly a cult classic? (27:15)The "Get that Weak Shit Off My Track" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (50:11)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff Adventurous Flops with the world's most handsome treasure seeker in Sahara! (1:02:37) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Alita: Battle Angel – Panzer Kunst!
Apr 19 2024
Alita: Battle Angel – Panzer Kunst!
Alita: Battle Angel, based on a popular Manga series, is a cyberpunk action film from Robert Rodriguez. Full of CGI and over the top fisticuffs, Alita: Battle Angel is quite often visually dazzling. It truly feels like an anime come to life. Where it fails is its storytelling. The titular Alita is not a particularly compelling character, and her romance with Hugo is even less interesting. Such a shortcoming generally doesn't matter all that much in an effects heavy movie, but Alita: Battle Angel leans into their budding romance. No amount of script doctoring could salvage their lack of chemistry. That aside, this film garnered a legion of online hardcore fans. Though it may not be as awesome as they think, it is still worth watching for those unfamiliar with its inspiration, especially if you enjoy science fiction and rollerblading. Now, sit back, celebrate your hunter warrior license with a Divot Lemonade and Iced Tea Ale from Sonder Brewing Co., and get ready to Motor Ball! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are stripping cyborgs for premium parts! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – A Warrior Rises. Discover a Bold New World and a Brave New Hero! (00:00)Lingering Questions – Should it finally happen, would we be down for a sequel? (48:56)The "Champion's League" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:05:19)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish off Live Action Flops with a movie that didn't deserve the initial hate, Speed Racer! (1:20:57) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra – Send it to the Slaughter House
Apr 12 2024
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra – Send it to the Slaughter House
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is a somewhat successful live-action adaptation of the beloved GI Joe cartoon and toy line. It's a big, loud, dumb, and, at times, very fun action film. Most of the adjectives above will come as no surprise for fans of Stephen Sommers–he of The Mummy and The Mummy Returns fame. The DNA of what made those films such enjoyable adventure romps is here. Unfortunately, so is his penchant to go too far over the top. *Cough* Van Helsing. What Sommers gets wrong in this, he basically butchers. Eschewing common series lore in favor Hollywood tropes, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra loses some of the magic from the property, turning off longtime fans and general audiences in the process. Despite there being internet murmurs that this movie, and Sommers' career prospects, deserved better, this one underperformed at the time of its release. It grossed just $302.5 million on a budget of $175. Critics also sent it the Slaughter House. It sits at 33% on Rotten Tomatoes with 169 reviews. But, hey, there is a good time to be had here, as long as you don't think too hard about it. So, sit back, get your nano-mites buzzing with a Weird Science Pale Ale from Paperback Brewing Co., and call us Commander! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are training in the Pit to take down Cobra's goons! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – When all else fails, they don't! (00:00)Lingering Questions – What GI Joe character would we like to see most in a future film? (36:27)The "Vow of Silence" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (48:30)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Live Action Flops with the internet's darling, Alita: Battle Angel! (55:35) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom – Tangbro and Splash
Mar 22 2024
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom – Tangbro and Splash
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is the abandoned child of a now-defunct cinematic universe. Pushed multiple times and released far after James Gunn's announcement of his new DCU, the writing was on the wall, or in the sand, for the King of Atlantis' fate. And, yet, the studio still felt they needed to tinker with it to death. The fingerprints of studio meddling are all over Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom. The editing is slap dash, and their blatant desire to rid the film of Amber Heard's Mera is painfully obvious. Jason Mamoa, for all his charm, goes full Aquabro in an attempt to distract viewers from all the warts lining the film's oceanic underbelly. But, as we all know, one should never go full Aquabro. Despite his over the top schtick wearing thin far before the final credits roll, though, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is still a fairly decent time at the movies. The Orm/Arthur dynamic is fun throughout, the action beats mostly hit, and the return of Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Black Manta is a welcome one. Sadly, audiences knew that this was the dead end of all dead ends; and, as a result, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom couldn't even muster half of its predecessor's $1.1 billion+ box office. Still, considering the current superhero cinema landscape, $434.4 million isn't too shabby. Now, sit back and refine that Orichalcum because it's a lovely day for a Guinness! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are just chum butter in the ocean of life! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – One king will lead us all. The tide is turning! (00:00)Lingering Questions – With the old DCU dead, who would we cast the old actors as in the new DCU? (29:46)The "Aqua-Trivia" Challenge – Capt. Cash challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (40:17)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff Live Action Flops with a movie sure to induce anime fans' PTSD, 2010's Avatar: The Last Airbender! (50:27) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Madame Web – Ms. Spider-Cleo
Mar 8 2024
Madame Web – Ms. Spider-Cleo
Madame Web is Sony's latest vapid entry in their ever burgeoning catalogue of films centering around the villains of Spider-Man. And, yes, like Morbius, that hero is nowhere to be seen. In fact, since the film largely takes place in 2003, he hasn't even been born yet. Our heroine here is Cassandra Webb, an EMT born with powers she has yet to realize she's been given. The how and the why of that truly need to be seen to be believed. Webb (the eventual Madame Web) can see glimpses of the future. In doing so, she makes it her business to save three young girls who will most certainly die without her help. Anyway, the central antagonist, Ezekiel Sims, goes on this quest for vengeance for reasons; Webb's most effective form of combatting Sims—outside of clairvoyance, of course—is attempted vehicular homicide; and you will leave the theater wondering what circle of hell Sony has propelled you into. Madame Web is as bad as advertised. It is a film that need not exist. An origin of an origin, the three future Spider-Women don't even wear their costumes in the actual timeline of the film. Those appear solely in glimpses of a future we'll never see. I'd say the 12% is justified, but even that was probably too kind. Now, sit back, drown your sorrows with a Depth Perception Imperial IPA from Terrapin Beer Co., and watch out for that Pepsi sign! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are table dancing to Toxic at a roadside diner! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Her web connects them all! (00:00)Lingering Questions – Why does Sony continue to foist these turds upon us? (33:40)The "Great Power Will Come" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (56:45)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Super-Heroic Flops with a sequel that couldn't match its predecessor's success, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom! (1:06:44) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania – Shrinking Returns
Mar 1 2024
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania – Shrinking Returns
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania was the bite-sized hero's attempt to elevate the stakes of his solo outings. With Kang—the MCU's big bad in waiting—as the film's central villain, it was meant to serve as a narrative intro for the next Avengers team up. Alas, that appears like it is not to be. Even before Jonathan Majors, the actor portraying Kang, ran afoul with the law, Quantumania's poor reviews and lagging box office flashed warning bells for Marvel.  Yes, it did earn $476.1 million at the box office, but that was down from the original's $518.9 million and its precursor's $623.1 million. Worse, Quantumania's 46% on Rotten Tomatoes is one of the worst scores the MCU has ever received. That critical drubbing is mostly deserved. Quantumania is an overlong and muddled CGI stew of half-baked ideas. It's never thrilling, rarely funny, and squanders its opportunity to make audiences dread what Kang will do to the newest Avengers. Instead, the dude couldn't even topple their tiniest hero. So much for that Dynasty of his. Now, sit back, take a bite out of a Space Lettuce Double IPA from Monday Night Brewing, and lookout for the little guy! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are guzzling that goo! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Witness the beginning of a new dynasty! (00:00)Lingering Questions – Did Kang work as a villain (not that it matters now)? (28:20)The "Conqueror's" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (58:42)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Super-Heroic Flops with a movie so bad we couldn't resist discussing it, Madame Web! (1:05:20) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
The Flash – A Hop, Skip, and a Tomato Can
Feb 23 2024
The Flash – A Hop, Skip, and a Tomato Can
The Flash, despite the character's powers, took forever to speed its way to the big screen. Originally announced as part of DC's film slate in 2014, it would be nine long years before it was finally released. During that time, numerous directors and writers were attached and then detached from the project. Ultimately, amid numerous legal troubles, Ezra Miller would return to star and IT's Andy Muschietti would direct. Based loosely on the character's Flashpoint comic arc, The Flash went big with a time-hopping, multiverse tampering tale that would see the legendary Michael Keaton return as Batman for the first time in more than 30 years. That alone should have ensured it was a hit. Sadly, it did not. The Flash could not outrun the negative press for its star, or the shifting sands of the DC film landscape. On a budget as high as $220 million, it grossed just $271.3 million worldwide. Couple that with middling reviews, 63% on Rotten Tomatoes, and it is no surprise that this iteration of the Scarlet Speedster will more than likely not be seen again. Now, sit back, build some friction with a Speedway Stout from Alesmith Brewing Co., and get ready to beeve! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are trapped in the Thanagarian Snarebeast's deadly web! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Worlds collide! (00:00)Lingering Questions – In a film full of DC nostalgia, what was our favorite bit of fan service? (41:40)The "Multiverse" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:14:07)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Super-Heroic Flops with a muddled MCU mess, Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania! (1:26:00) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Blue Beetle – Batman's a Fascist
Feb 16 2024
Blue Beetle – Batman's a Fascist
Blue Beetle is the type of superhero film that seems to be in increasingly rare supply these days. It places character firmly over spectacle, and in doing so, gives us one of the most heartfelt comic book films of recent memory. If you're not familiar with the character, Blue Beetle is sort of extraterrestrial Ironman. The character, Jaime Reyes, is human, but the tech, Khaji Da, is alien. The two form a symbiosis, one where the suit is able to conjure whatever Jaime can imagine. In that way, it is sort of also reminiscent of the Green Lantern's ring. All that aside, Blue Beetle nails the vibe of someone trying to acclimate to the insane circumstance he finds himself. And it does so without sacrificing the beating heart of its story—Jaime's family. Sadly, despite being one of the strongest entries in DC's film catalogue, Blue Beetle flopped at the box office, earning a franchise low $130.8 million. Neither strong reviews or James Gunn's promise that the character would return in his soon-to-be rebooted DCU were enough to drum up interest. Truly a bummer. Now, sit back, let Khaji Da manifest you a can of Blue from SweetWater Brewing, and fire up El Chapulín! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are catching up on María la del Barrio! This Week’s Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – He's a superhero, whether he likes it or not! (00:00)Lingering Questions – Is Susan Sarandon confused by the film she's in or just bored by it? (31:23)The "Khaji Da" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (54:25)Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Super-Heroic Flops with what David Zaslav proclaimed to be the greatest comic movie of all-time, The Flash! (1:07:13) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!