The Not Safe For Mom Group Podcast

www.notsafeformomgroup.com

When society thinks of motherhood, they often think of Pampers and strollers; but we know it’s far more nuanced and complex than that. There’s a vast spectrum of experiences and stories — like what’s it like to discover your partner's darkest secret after just having had a baby together? What does motherhood look like when you suffer from multiple mental illnesses? How does a traumatic event in childhood color how we approach motherhood today? These are the kinds of stories we aim to capture, explore, and dig into in this podcast series. This is a podcast featuring real moms, telling their own stories and being their most vulnerable, uncensored selves. Hosted by the founder of the boundary-pushing motherhood platform Not Safe For Mom Group, and a mother of two Alexis Barad-Cutler. Sign up for our newsletter to never miss your Not Safe for Mom Group updates: www.notsafeformomgroup.com/newsletter-podcast read less
Kids & FamilyKids & Family

Episodes

I'm Breaking the Cycle of My Family's Generational Trauma
Jun 2 2022
I'm Breaking the Cycle of My Family's Generational Trauma
Today we have writer, and coach Jenn M. Choi on the podcast, who shares with us her story of surviving the deaths of both of her immigrant parents (on top of going through a huge life change) and how that process helped her face the generational trauma she'd held onto for so many years.  She talks about how she found self-compassion, how reframing healing is a constant process, and how we all have the tools we need within us to become "the moms we wish to be."Listen to her expert suggestions on how to heal, and move through generational trauma in your own life, and how the ultimate self care is knowing that you need help and that you can't do it all alone:Jenn's healing go-to's:Mindset - Knowing to accept help. This is the first step: To get into the mindset of receiving help and saying, it is ok to not be ok, and I cannot do this alone.Therapy is one of the best tools in helping you not implode with feelings of rage. Finding the right modality of therapy and good chemistry with your therapist is essential.Coaching - therapy looks at present and past; coaching is more future focused.Writing - journaling helps you process and come up with things from your subconscious and bring it to light. Writing a letter to your past self can be very powerful.Online communities - going online and finding your community (FB, IG, Reddit’s sub communities).Poppyseed Health offers 24/7 on-demand text access to doulas, midwives, and nurses.
Life After Stillbirth: "The Grief Becomes Less All-Encompassing"
Feb 23 2022
Life After Stillbirth: "The Grief Becomes Less All-Encompassing"
We don't talk about stillbirth and infant loss enough because to acknowledge that they happen is to acknowledge that they could happen to US. We protect ourselves from these stories, which are OTHER PEOPLE'S STORIES, to further separate someone else's reality from that of our own. For Anna Feldberg, our guest on this episode, having lost her first daughter Charlotte, who died suddenly at 35 weeks gestation, is a reality from which she cannot separate. Anna shares with us her very personal story, and how she got to a place where the grief  (and guilt) was no longer something all-encompassing. Folks often wonder what to say to someone who has experienced the loss of a child, as if that friend is on the other side of a wall and we can't begin to reach them. This episode helps us better understand how to support someone who is going through infant loss -- or, if it is something that has touched our own lives, how we can begin to move through our own grief process. 23,000 babies are born still in the US each year -- and often, the causes for these stillbirths are not clear.  After losing Charlotte, Anna found out that her placenta had been small -- something doctors had never mentioned to her during the course of her pregnancy. Anna has become a passionate supporter of consistently measuring the placenta during pregnancy. She now works with an organization called PUSH for Empowered Pregnancy,  to research and integrate similar maternal/fetal monitoring protocols into standard prenatal care.Resources Anna shares in this episode:"What helped me a lot were support groups and connecting with other women (and men) who went through it."PUSH's Resource Page: From support groups to medical resources and connections to grief support book suggestions: https://www.pushpregnancy.org/pregnancy-infant-lossStar Legacy Foundation: Primarily  focused on pregnancy loss grief support. Also have a mentor program where they pair a “veteran” loss mom up with a new loss mom.Our partner Poppy Seed Health provides 24/7 text access to nurses, midwives, and doulas, with a special focus on providing support during pregnancy and infant loss.
First I Went Through the Surrogacy Process; Then I Helped Legalize It
Jan 10 2022
First I Went Through the Surrogacy Process; Then I Helped Legalize It
When her doctor presented gestational surrogacy (i.e. where the parent - not surrogate - provides own egg for fertilization) as an option for Alexis Cirel, it felt, at first, like defeat. Not only was it something she hadn't ever anticipated, she learned that it wasn't even a legal option in New York at the time ! The paperwork and the sense of disappointment in her body was overwhelming to Alexis, but ultimately the process was a success and she is now the mom of a 5 and 8 year old and recalls the journey as miraculous and special.  Her personal experience with surrogacy and infertility also catapulted her to change course in her professional life, at first to help legalize gestational surrogacy in NY state and advocate for others similarly situated, and now to expand her family law practice to include fertility law including surrogacy arrangements. Today, she shares the physical process, the emotional process, and her thoughts about it a few years after having had her two children with the help of the same surrogate, with whom she remains close today. Listen to her fascinating story, and if you're going through something similar, or are curious, Alexis encourages you to reach out. She loves helping other women and be the connection she didn't have at the time.More about Alexis Cirel and her contact info: https://www.wbny.com/cirel-gostork-qaThe Child Parent Security Act:https://www.health.ny.gov/community/pregnancy/surrogacy/https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/15/parenting/fertility/surrogates-new-york.htmlSurrogates Letter to Gov. Cuomo:https://www.familyequality.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/20190220-Surrogates-letter-to-Governor-Cuomo-1.pdfAlexis's Favorite Kids Books About Surrogacy:https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-very-kind-koala-kimberly-kluger-bell/1116275910