In this episode, Kate was joined by Victoria Benson, CEO of the Single Parents Charity, Gingerbread. With a background in law as a solicitor, Victoria joined Gingerbread in February 2019, having served previously on their Board. Before joining Gingerbread, Victoria was Director of Legal & Governance at Cancer Support charity MacMillan. Gingerbread has supported and championed single parents since 1918. Originally called the National Council for the Unmarried Mother and her Child, they’ve worked for over 100 years to make sure that single parents are not forgotten. They’ve changed laws, influenced government and challenged stigma and stereotypes. Their expert advice and information help tens of thousands of single parents every year. Through their policy work, they ensure that their members’ concerns and experiences are taken to the heart of Westminster and that their in-person and online communities can be found across England and Wales, providing support to thousands of single parents and their children.Kate and Victoria began this episode by looking at what constitutes a single parent and how Gingerbread take the view it is a ‘self-defined term’. Victoria told Kate about the work Gingerbread does to promote the interests of all single parents by lobbying government for social reforms around support and equal opportunities for single parents. They went on to talk about how they support single parents with free advice, from their helpline and how Gingerbread campaigns tirelessly to redress the stigma that exists within society. Their expert advice and information help tens of thousands of single parents every year, particularly around child maintenance, childcare and benefits. Victoria also talks about her own personal experience of being a single parent and how this has fed into her passion for promoting the political and social interests of single parents. How to contact Gingerbread: Gingerbread's helpline - 0808 802 0925Gingerbread websiteAdvice and support services

In this episode, Kate was joined by Angela Lally who is a qualified solicitor specialising in Family Law to discuss cohabitation when a relationship ends.With over 20 years’ of experience, Angela has focused her practice on the financial aspects arising out of relationship breakdown, for both married and cohabiting couples. Kate and Angela begin the episode by discussing the rights cohabitating couples have compared with those who are married or in civil partnerships. Many will be surprised to learn there is no such thing as a common-law husband or wife, and this myth can have some dangerous financial consequences. They look at ways to protect yourself from future conflict if your relationship breaks down after cohabiting and complications around property whether or you’re not named on the deeds. Perhaps the biggest contrast between how finances are dealt with for married and cohabiting relationships is to do with pensions and the inequality this can create for anyone sacrificing a career to care for children. They finish with their thoughts on cohabitation law reforms and in their absence, the advice to make sure you engage your partner in a conversation about your finances if you are cohabiting in England or Wales.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Ed Bassett, well-being entrepreneur, Dad, and rugby fan to discuss his divorce and journey of self-growth. Having spent 20 years in the corporate energy sector, Ed returned to the UK from South East Asia and found himself separating from his wife, coping with a family bereavement, a failed start-up and navigating a new parenting relationship post-separation. In this episode, they explore the catalyst for Ed’s divorce and how a shift in his mindset helped him to heal and support others through their divorces. Ed describes sleepwalking through his life and the impact his self-destructive behaviour had on his family. Accepting responsibility for his actions and their consequences, as well as making peace with his upbringing, helped Ed rebuild post-separation. They also look at the importance wellbeing has played in Ed’s healing journey, and how this sparked his latest venture, Blue Mind a platform for men that encourages them to talk about their mental health. Trigger Warning: This episode covers content that some listeners might find distressing including poor mental health and suicide. Organisations who can help: Your local GP Mind - mental health charitySamaritans - dial 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258YoungMinds Crisis Messenger – for people under 19Is your life in danger? - dial 999Outside of the UK? Search for help here

In this episode, Kate was joined by Louise Oliver, a Certified Financial Planner and Chartered Wealth Manager to discuss financial planning and divorce during a cost-of-living crisis. Louise has worked in the financial services sector for over 30 years. Throughout her career, she has regularly featured as a financial expert in the media, including across the BBC, Moneybox and local radio. They began this episode by discussing the value a financial planner can bring to discussions during divorce and separation. Louise explained the importance of being pragmatic, and willing to tweak your agreements as you move through the process. They looked at the impact of fluctuating asset valuations, especially during a cost-of-living crisis, and the importance of making sensible investments that reflect your attitude to risk. Louise made the point that different types of assets react differently to the varying market conditions and the importance of having a mix of different assets when you separate finances after divorce. They also explored options around the family home, maintenance payments and pensions.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Julian Deane, a comedian and writer, to talk about navigating ending relationships and blended families. Julian is an award-winning British stand-up comedian and writer. Within a few years of starting stand-up, he was named Best New Comedian by the Comedy Café in London, and won the ITV Stand Up Hero and the Laughing Horse New Act of the Year competitions. Julian has appeared on The Russell Howard Hour and supported, Joe Lycett, John Bishop, Paul Chowdhry and Jason Manford on a world tour. He is also a writer, with his credits including TV shows Never Mind the Buzzcocks and Mock the Week. Julian also hosts the Two Vegan Idiots also known as TVI podcast, with fellow comedian Carl Donnelly, who has also featured on The Divorce Podcast.They began this episode by talking about Julian’s experience of parenting after separation when his two long-term relationships ended. Kate explores the difference each separation had on his life, as well as the impact of his career on those relationships. Julian gives his top tips on maintaining good working relationships with his exes, with his five children front and centre of decision-making. They also touch on the impact of his own parent's separation and the importance of being happy which puts you in a better position to parent your children.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Tash Bloom from LiveMore and Audrey a LiveMore customer to talk about funding life after separation. LiveMore is a mortgage provider for people aged 50 and over. Audrey begins this episode by talking about her own divorce and how it left her in a difficult financial situation, something many will relate to. Kate explores common financial problems that arise after a separation and Tash talks about the ways that LiveMore has helped Audrey to fund her life after divorce. Audrey touches on inheritance planning and the role of pensions in her own divorce settlement. Tash explains the different types of mortgages on offer once you hit later life and alternative ways of securing funding to purchase properties. As Tash points out, there are lots of different specialists you can consult if you are looking for advice post-divorce and you are over 50. Audrey has been on a journey of self-re-discovery, after divorcing her husband due to an affair 10 years ago. She left her job in the City and became super-mum and super-grandma, helping her daughter during an incredibly challenging health crisis. Now settled in her new and (almost completely) renovated bungalow, she is focusing on the next stage of her life and is very much looking forward to the future and the adventures it will bring.   Tash is EA to the CEO of LiveMore. She is also the company’s customer ambassador, building and maintaining relationships with customers. She regularly represents the CEO at meetings and events and is an extension of the brand wherever she goes. Committed to the company values, Tash is a dedicated LiveMore team member and gets no greater pleasure than witnessing the happiness of the customers they have been able to help.You can find more about LiveMore here, or book a call to speak to one of their mortgage advisors here.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Marcie Shaoul, Director of The Co-Parent Way, to discuss managing strong emotions and inflammatory language as well as her new co-parenting course. Marcie is the Director of The Co-Parent Way, the UK’s only Co-Parent Coaching Practice. She is a thought leader in co-parenting and is responsible for developing a unique coaching methodology that enables parents to get to a place where they can co-parent together effectively after separation. It provides coaching specifically for couples or individuals who are separating and who have kids. Marcie is also a member of Resolution and sits on their Parenting After Parting Committee.In this episode, Kate and Marcie explore Marice’s new course and how it can benefit co-parents. They then look at tools for helping to manage strong emotions if you're a separated parent. Marcie explains that fear is often the overriding emotion couples experience when facing the prospect of no longer living with their children full-time. They also discuss ways to tackle fear and other emotions like anger and the importance of self-care and putting on your own oxygen mask first to regulate your own emotions. Marcie explains how using inflammatory language is a conscious choice, and they talk about why a parent might make that choice when it inevitably leads to escalations and that whilst you can’t prevent your partner from using inflammatory language, you can change from reacting to responding by hitting the pause button before replying. If you’re interested in Marcie’s co-parenting course you can learn more and sign up here.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Mat Megens, founder and CEO of HyperJar, to discuss budgeting during divorce and separation. Mat started his career in Canada and the USA as an electrical engineer designing circuit boards for telecom companies big and small. He then made a career switch into finance which is what brought him to London. He worked in fixed income for both Lehman Brothers and Morgan Stanley, where the idea for HyperJar was inspired. He then worked for IFC, part of The World Bank, helping to setup up financing products in developing nations around the world before finally making the leap to entrepreneurship. Mat combined his engineering and finance careers along with his frustrations as a saving-oriented consumer to launch HyperJar. HyperJar is a free-to-the-consumer app that helps people plan and navigate their journey from depositing money to spending it. In this episode, Kate and Mat talk about the idea of budgeting during divorce and separation. They explore the freedom that’s gained from having a better grasp on your money and being able to save. Divorce is often seen as such a negative event in financial terms, but Mat’s tips turn that idea on its head and show how cathartic and life-changing taking control of your finances can be. Mat describes the idea of underspending, giving you a buffer for life’s unexpected hurdles, this is particularly useful in the wake of the cost of living crisis. He believes budgeting and saving is a mindset which can be learned and taught – an invaluable skill you can pass down to your children. Mat is divorced himself and describes his divorce as an opportunity to improve his and his ex-partner’s spending habits and lifestyle. Viewing budgeting through this lens is an empowering step you can take to give you more financial freedom and control if you are separating in these financially trying times. Mat ends the episode by sharing his top budgeting tips.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Siobhan Baillie, Conservative MP for Stroud, to discuss family policy reform and its impact on people separating and divorcing. Siobhan Baillie is the MP for Stroud, having won the key swing seat from Labour in 2019. Born in West Sussex and educated in Yorkshire, Siobhan left school at 17 to work as a legal secretary, studying law in her spare time to qualify as a solicitor. Following on from a career in law, Siobhan stood as a local councillor in Camden and worked as Head of Policy and Communications for OnePlusOne before standing down in 2018 to dedicate her career to parliamentary politics. Since her election in 2019, Siobhan has been appointed to the Work and Pensions Select Committee and has served as Co-Chair of the All-party parliamentary group for Relationships. Siobhan has done key work in campaigning for greater environmental protection, and she remains a key campaigner for further education.They begin this episode by looking at Siobhan’s lived experience of divorce, that of her own parent's separation and how this has sparked her passion for policy reform, particularly around children proceedings and her work with the Positive Parenting Alliance. They explore the changes that the introduction of no-fault divorce has meant for separating couples and what needs to change in the future so that children are less impacted by their parent's separation.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Divorce Specialist, Anthony Syder to talk about keeping the cost of divorce low. Anthony is a divorce specialist at amicable and has worked in the area of divorce, mediation and family dispute resolution for the past 8 years. His areas of interest include the voice of the child and diverse and inclusive families. They begin this episode by looking at Anthony’s tips around keeping the legal costs down whilst you divorce including how much of the legal process you can do yourself and the options available to you when it comes to choosing professional help. Kate and Anthony look at some factors that impact the fairness of a financial settlement, particularly given the current cost of living crisis, and what fluctuating asset valuations, such as pensions, mean in terms of your financial agreements. Lastly, they look at practical things to consider as you make arrangements for your children, such as the rising cost of childcare and how child maintenance works. This is a great episode if you are looking for ways to keep the cost of divorce low during the current cost of living crisis.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Jo Middleton to talk about solo parenting. Jo is the creator of the award-winning parenting blog, slummy single mummy, and solo parent to two daughters, now aged 27 and 20. Jo had her first child aged 17 in the middle of her A-levels and is now 44, and Granny to a 3-year-old. One of her daughters lives at home and has recently been diagnosed with ASD. Kate and Jo talk about her ‘mixed’ experience of relationships and co-parenting and her journey over the last 10 years as a solo mum. They explore the benefits of being a single parent, as well as the daily struggles and the idea of loneliness when you don’t have a partner or co-parent to lean on. Jo shares her tips on things you can do to make the solo parent journey easier and highlights that not everyone is able to co-parent, however, there are many joys that come from solo parenting.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Co-Parenting Coach, Jen Gallagher, to discuss her tips on approaching co-parenting for younger children. Jen is a Co-parenting Coach and a former therapist with a child development background. Jen is based in Florida, and she has thriving co-parenting coaching practice supporting divorced and uncoupled parents transitioning to become co-parents. She specialises in children from babies through to 8 years old and shares her wonderful tips and advice on Instagram. Jen explored the idea of reframing common co-parenting issues so that everyone’s a winner. Reframing how you present a creative solution can shift what your partner might consider as controlling behaviour to something that can benefit everyone involved. Jen also shared her tips around having a routine that’s meaningful to your child rather than seeing things through an adult lens.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Michelle Hoskin a financial abuse specialist, to discuss financial and economic abuse during a divorce. Michelle is an international speaker, author and regular contributor to the professional press and media, with nearly 25 years of experience working alongside some of the world’s most successful financial services organisations.  She is also the Founder and Director of Standards International a leading dedicated certification body in the UK. In this episode Kate and Michelle look at financial and economic abuse and how it can manifest during a divorce or separation.  Michelle explains the key signs of financial and economic abuse and what can be done on an individual and professional level to help those going through this. TW : Some listeners may find the information and topics discussed distressing.  Please get in touch if any of these issues have affected you and we will put you in touch with the best professionals to help. Useful links/ charities:Surviving Economic Abuse Dash RefugeMen's Advice Line

In this episode, Kate was joined by Yuri Sinata to share her experience and tips around being a single working parent. Yuri is a business owner and creator born and raised in Surabaya, Indonesia. She is also a single mother to her son, Kai.  Yuri came to the US in 2007 at the age of 24 with no plan, money, very little English and no identity, but she garnered the will and determination to build her life and business in Los Angeles. Through the years, she battled various obstacles: graduating from the Paul Mitchell school, paying her own school fees, opening up a new business after years of working for others, experiencing postpartum depression and healing after a divorce. Having a platform to share this dialogue with others is cathartic for Yuri. She utilises social media to share what she loves: beauty, cooking, health and wellness.Yuri begins this episode by exploring the various challenges faced by single working parents, and she shares some fantastic tips on how to make the day-to-day that little bit easier.  They look at Yuri’s upbringing and how having strong supportive role models around her, has helped in her journey being a single parent. Kate and Yuri discuss her marriage and divorce, and her relocation to Los Angeles. They explore her love of food and fitness and how this has helped her cope in the wake of her divorce.

In this episode, Kate was joined by journalist and comedian, Ellie Gibson to discuss relationship struggles and how to make a marriage work in the wake of a separation. Ellie is the co-host of the number one parenting podcast The Scummy Mummies.  She joined forces with Helen Thorn to become The Scummy Mummies in 2013 and they have gone on to produce an award-winning podcast, a sell-out touring comedy show, and a popular book. The episode begins with Kate and Ellie exploring her relationship and how separation and space ended up making her marriage stronger, resulting in two beautiful children with her husband Pete. She describes the lead-up to her split from her now husband, Pete, which many will find relatable. A sequence of arguments about ‘small’ yet fundamental issues led to the couple deciding to take a series of breaks. Ellie found individual therapy useful in getting to a place where she could reconcile with her husband. She described the impact her best friend’s divorce had on her and her husband, and she talked about the importance of trying to navigate tough patches, rather than giving up or cheating. This episode is a homage to marriage and the work required to keep a relationship strong.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Mark Kozminski to talk about his divorce and the impact it had on his mental health which led him to create the Blue Mind Approach, to help other men going through divorce and separation. The Blue Mind Approach is a platform that aims to drive behavioural change, build awareness, and encourage men to share, heal and grow. Kate and Mark discuss his divorce and journey of personal growth and self-discovery. Mark speaks candidly about his former drinking and gambling addiction which contributed to his separation and subsequent divorce. They discuss the void in support and advice for men going through a separation, and how this lack of support can often fuel addictions and mental health problems.  Kate and Mark touch on many common struggles that specifically men face whilst going through a separation and how this can impact healing after. Fitness and health played a crucial role in healing for Mark, as did the notion of acceptance and its ability to drive change. They also look at Mark’s co-parenting and the journey from no contact, to now having a functioning parenting arrangement post-divorce. Finally, they explore the difficulties that are presented when one person moves on earlier than the other and how damaging labels can be for both people involved.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Helen Adam and Kate Stanley to talk about language and divorce. Kate and her guests discuss the power of language in shaping and reforming social issues and apply this to divorce and separation. The language that is used in policy and in wider society, has a real impact on people who are separating. They explore the changes in language brought in with the Children’s Act, and the move away from ‘battle language’ towards cooperative language, as well as the changes in language brought in with 'no-fault divorce' earlier this year.  Finally, Kate and her guests look at other social issues and how shifting the language has had a positive effect. Helen  Adam started her work with separating families as a solicitor in London.  These were pre-Children Act days, with battles over custody and residence. Following a career break, she retrained as a mediator and founded Wells Family Mediation. Helen is also chair of the Family Solutions Group (FSG).  The FSG presses for coordinated political oversight and funding for separated families.  Helen is currently part of an FSG sub-group who are reviewing the language used ‘in the system’ for families who live apart. They will be making recommendations for change away from adversarial vocabulary to language which is more family-focussed, promoting child welfare and safe outcomes for all.Kate Stanley is Executive Director of FrameWorks UK – a not for profit communications and research organisation that helps mission-driven organisations achieve the social change they seek.  From 2011, Kate served as Board Director at NSPCC, for nearly ten years.  Previously, Kate was Deputy Director of the leading thinktank, the Institute for Public Policy Research, where she worked closely with academics and organisations to influence government social policy and practice. She has published widely on social policy and advised a wide range of governmental and non-governmental organisations including the University of Glasgow and UK Research and Innovation, and served on the Steering Group on Early Years advising the Duchess of Cambridge on her work in this field. Kate started her career in international development charities, including Save the Children, working in the UK and overseas. She was awarded a Clore Social Leadership Fellowship in 2010, is a Fellow of the British American Project, and former trustee of Hope and Homes for Children. She holds an MA in Social Anthropology from the University of Edinburgh.P.S. We're sorry about the sound quality of Kate Stanley's audio. There was a problem with the recording equipment, and it's not up to our usual standard.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Scottish actor and comedian., Wendy Wason, to talk about her divorce and navigating life after separation.Wendy has had many notable appearances across Theatre, Stand-up, Film and TV including roles in Coupling, The IT Crowd, Midsomer Murders, Sherlock, and Outcast. She is a mother of three and went through her own divorce in 2007 and has since remarried. Kate and Wendy discuss Wendy’s first marriage and subsequent divorce, which took place when her children were still young. They look at the impact her parent’s divorce had on how she managed her own separation, including her need to avoid conflict at all costs. Wendy talked about how stand-up presented a lifeline both financially and emotionally, although she described the difficulties that come with being a working single parent, particularly around organising childcare. They also explore Wendy’s blended family with both she and her ex-husband remarrying and the benefit of being able to sit down with a new partner and discuss how to navigate parenting in a new family setup. You can find follow Wendy on social media here.

In this episode, Kate was joined by Mark Groves to discuss self-growth and healing following breakups, separation and divorce. Mark is a Human Connection Specialist, speaker, writer, and motivator. Mark founded Create The Love a platform that guides people to design the life and love they long for, following on from his own rock bottom when his relationship ended. He hosts The Mark Groves Podcast and has a significant following on social media where he shares his insight into relationships. In this episode, Kate and Mark explore how to heal from a breakup or a separation. They also looked at the context of marriage and relationships, including how society perpetuates ‘bad’ breakups by reinforcing shame and guilt on those going through them. Mark explained the paradox of not having ‘important’ conversations, out of fear of losing that relationship, when in reality, silence often contributes to relationship breakdown. They looked at whether the way people deal with breakups is gendered and how we could do more to help cultivate healthy relationships individually and as a society. They agreed that a relationship ending is not a failure, but rather an opportunity for self-exploration and growth.

In this second myth-busting episode, Kate was joined by Tracey Moloney, known to many as The Legal Queen on Tiktok and other social media platforms.This is the second time Tracey has joined Kate on the podcast, so if you haven’t already, listen to their first episode (#58). For a number of years, she worked exclusively with clients that qualified for legal aid and specialised in children and financial matters following separation and divorce.  She was Head of the Family Department for a nationwide legal firm, where she was responsible for a team of 28 legal advisors. Tracey trained solicitors in her role as training principal and is an associate lecturer in family law at the University of Bristol. She aims to provide a clear explanation of people’s legal rights and help them to navigate the legal system. She shares her knowledge on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube as 'The Legal Queen' on all matters related to Family law. They spent this episode busting common divorce and separation myths such as; whether divorces will be automatic with the introduction of no-fault divorce, whether you ‘need’ to split your pensions or inheritance when you separate, why you may need to disclose your finances on divorce and myths around children and custody. This episode covered the most commonly asked questions about divorce and separation in easy digestible snippets. Watch this space for future myth-busting episodes. You might be able to hear Tracey's dog in this episode!