The Divorce Podcast

amicable

The Divorce Podcast is a podcast dedicated to looking at divorce from new perspectives and driving reform. Hosted by Kate Daly, each episode invites experts from a variety of backgrounds and disciplines to discuss their own views on divorce, and debate them with the other guests. read less

Episode #74: Funding a life after divorce with LiveMore
Jan 11 2023
Episode #74: Funding a life after divorce with LiveMore
In this episode, Kate was joined by Tash Bloom from LiveMore and Audrey a LiveMore customer to talk about funding life after separation. LiveMore is a mortgage provider for people aged 50 and over. Audrey begins this episode by talking about her own divorce and how it left her in a difficult financial situation, something many will relate to. Kate explores common financial problems that arise after a separation and Tash talks about the ways that LiveMore has helped Audrey to fund her life after divorce. Audrey touches on inheritance planning and the role of pensions in her own divorce settlement. Tash explains the different types of mortgages on offer once you hit later life and alternative ways of securing funding to purchase properties. As Tash points out, there are lots of different specialists you can consult if you are looking for advice post-divorce and you are over 50. Audrey has been on a journey of self-re-discovery, after divorcing her husband due to an affair 10 years ago. She left her job in the City and became super-mum and super-grandma, helping her daughter during an incredibly challenging health crisis. Now settled in her new and (almost completely) renovated bungalow, she is focusing on the next stage of her life and is very much looking forward to the future and the adventures it will bring.   Tash is EA to the CEO of LiveMore. She is also the company’s customer ambassador, building and maintaining relationships with customers. She regularly represents the CEO at meetings and events and is an extension of the brand wherever she goes. Committed to the company values, Tash is a dedicated LiveMore team member and gets no greater pleasure than witnessing the happiness of the customers they have been able to help.You can find more about LiveMore here, or book a call to speak to one of their mortgage advisors here.
Episode #73: How to manage strong emotions and inflammatory language as a co-parent
Dec 28 2022
Episode #73: How to manage strong emotions and inflammatory language as a co-parent
In this episode, Kate was joined by Marcie Shaoul, Director of The Co-Parent Way, to discuss managing strong emotions and inflammatory language as well as her new co-parenting course. Marcie is the Director of The Co-Parent Way, the UK’s only Co-Parent Coaching Practice. She is a thought leader in co-parenting and is responsible for developing a unique coaching methodology that enables parents to get to a place where they can co-parent together effectively after separation. It provides coaching specifically for couples or individuals who are separating and who have kids. Marcie is also a member of Resolution and sits on their Parenting After Parting Committee.In this episode, Kate and Marcie explore Marice’s new course and how it can benefit co-parents. They then look at tools for helping to manage strong emotions if you're a separated parent. Marcie explains that fear is often the overriding emotion couples experience when facing the prospect of no longer living with their children full-time. They also discuss ways to tackle fear and other emotions like anger and the importance of self-care and putting on your own oxygen mask first to regulate your own emotions. Marcie explains how using inflammatory language is a conscious choice, and they talk about why a parent might make that choice when it inevitably leads to escalations and that whilst you can’t prevent your partner from using inflammatory language, you can change from reacting to responding by hitting the pause button before replying. If you’re interested in Marcie’s co-parenting course you can learn more and sign up here.
Episode #72: Budgeting tips and advice during a divorce or separation
Dec 14 2022
Episode #72: Budgeting tips and advice during a divorce or separation
In this episode, Kate was joined by Mat Megens, founder and CEO of HyperJar, to discuss budgeting during divorce and separation. Mat started his career in Canada and the USA as an electrical engineer designing circuit boards for telecom companies big and small. He then made a career switch into finance which is what brought him to London. He worked in fixed income for both Lehman Brothers and Morgan Stanley, where the idea for HyperJar was inspired. He then worked for IFC, part of The World Bank, helping to setup up financing products in developing nations around the world before finally making the leap to entrepreneurship. Mat combined his engineering and finance careers along with his frustrations as a saving-oriented consumer to launch HyperJar. HyperJar is a free-to-the-consumer app that helps people plan and navigate their journey from depositing money to spending it. In this episode, Kate and Mat talk about the idea of budgeting during divorce and separation. They explore the freedom that’s gained from having a better grasp on your money and being able to save. Divorce is often seen as such a negative event in financial terms, but Mat’s tips turn that idea on its head and show how cathartic and life-changing taking control of your finances can be. Mat describes the idea of underspending, giving you a buffer for life’s unexpected hurdles, this is particularly useful in the wake of the cost of living crisis. He believes budgeting and saving is a mindset which can be learned and taught – an invaluable skill you can pass down to your children. Mat is divorced himself and describes his divorce as an opportunity to improve his and his ex-partner’s spending habits and lifestyle. Viewing budgeting through this lens is an empowering step you can take to give you more financial freedom and control if you are separating in these financially trying times. Mat ends the episode by sharing his top budgeting tips.
Episode #63: How language can impact divorce and separation
Aug 10 2022
Episode #63: How language can impact divorce and separation
In this episode, Kate was joined by Helen Adam and Kate Stanley to talk about language and divorce. Kate and her guests discuss the power of language in shaping and reforming social issues and apply this to divorce and separation. The language that is used in policy and in wider society, has a real impact on people who are separating. They explore the changes in language brought in with the Children’s Act, and the move away from ‘battle language’ towards cooperative language, as well as the changes in language brought in with 'no-fault divorce' earlier this year.  Finally, Kate and her guests look at other social issues and how shifting the language has had a positive effect. Helen  Adam started her work with separating families as a solicitor in London.  These were pre-Children Act days, with battles over custody and residence. Following a career break, she retrained as a mediator and founded Wells Family Mediation. Helen is also chair of the Family Solutions Group (FSG).  The FSG presses for coordinated political oversight and funding for separated families.  Helen is currently part of an FSG sub-group who are reviewing the language used ‘in the system’ for families who live apart. They will be making recommendations for change away from adversarial vocabulary to language which is more family-focussed, promoting child welfare and safe outcomes for all.Kate Stanley is Executive Director of FrameWorks UK – a not for profit communications and research organisation that helps mission-driven organisations achieve the social change they seek.  From 2011, Kate served as Board Director at NSPCC, for nearly ten years.  Previously, Kate was Deputy Director of the leading thinktank, the Institute for Public Policy Research, where she worked closely with academics and organisations to influence government social policy and practice. She has published widely on social policy and advised a wide range of governmental and non-governmental organisations including the University of Glasgow and UK Research and Innovation, and served on the Steering Group on Early Years advising the Duchess of Cambridge on her work in this field. Kate started her career in international development charities, including Save the Children, working in the UK and overseas. She was awarded a Clore Social Leadership Fellowship in 2010, is a Fellow of the British American Project, and former trustee of Hope and Homes for Children. She holds an MA in Social Anthropology from the University of Edinburgh.P.S. We're sorry about the sound quality of Kate Stanley's audio. There was a problem with the recording equipment, and it's not up to our usual standard.
Episode #60: Part two of divorce myth-busting with #thelegalqueen
Jun 29 2022
Episode #60: Part two of divorce myth-busting with #thelegalqueen
In this second myth-busting episode, Kate was joined by Tracey Moloney, known to many as The Legal Queen on Tiktok and other social media platforms.This is the second time Tracey has joined Kate on the podcast, so if you haven’t already, listen to their first episode (#58). For a number of years, she worked exclusively with clients that qualified for legal aid and specialised in children and financial matters following separation and divorce.  She was Head of the Family Department for a nationwide legal firm, where she was responsible for a team of 28 legal advisors. Tracey trained solicitors in her role as training principal and is an associate lecturer in family law at the University of Bristol. She aims to provide a clear explanation of people’s legal rights and help them to navigate the legal system. She shares her knowledge on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube as 'The Legal Queen' on all matters related to Family law. They spent this episode busting common divorce and separation myths such as; whether divorces will be automatic with the introduction of no-fault divorce, whether you ‘need’ to split your pensions or inheritance when you separate, why you may need to disclose your finances on divorce and myths around children and custody. This episode covered the most commonly asked questions about divorce and separation in easy digestible snippets. Watch this space for future myth-busting episodes. You might be able to hear Tracey's dog in this episode!
Episode #59: Dads, separation and divorce
Jun 8 2022
Episode #59: Dads, separation and divorce
In this episode, Kate was joined by James Hayhurst and Adam Colthorpe to discuss Dads and divorce or separation.  James is the founder of the Positive Parenting Alliance and creator of the Parents Promise.  He has a background in Marketing and PR but was compelled to set up the Positive Parenting Alliance having seen up close the multitude of issues in the family courts and the scale and numbers of children affected. James wanted to begin a new conversation about separation and so in May 2021, after many conversations with like-minded people and organisations the Parents Promise was launched. Backed by over 20 organisations including Only Mums & Dads, the children’s mental health charity Place2Be, Relate, Black Mums Upfront and our very own amicable, the aim of the Alliance is to effect important cultural change around separation in the UK and beyond. Adam is the Director of Co-parenting for Dads Unlimited, a men’s mental health charity working with fathers who have gone through family separation and male victims of domestic abuse to help improve the outcomes for the men and the people they care for. He is the author and facilitator of the Co-parenting Programme ‘5 Steps to Co-parenting Success!’ which has been improving the lives of separated families for the last 4 years. He has two children which he co-parents with his ex-wife.  This episode started with Kate, James and Adam looking at some typical issues faced by Dads following on from a divorce or separation. What emerged was a clear set of gender-specific issues, routed in society, and a real need for reform, particularly in the workplace. They also explored the value of early intervention and limiting the negative impact of separation on families and children in particular.
Episode #57: Divorce and separation from the child's perspective
May 11 2022
Episode #57: Divorce and separation from the child's perspective
In this episode, Kate was joined by Dr Angharad Rudkin a clinical psychologist with over 20 years experience of working with children and families to discuss divorce and separation from the perspective of children.   Angharad is also an expert for the Metro's relationship column, offers training and consultation for family lawyers and worked as a lecturer on the Clinical Psychology doctorate at the University of Southampton for 12 years. Angharad was consulting editor for ‘101 Questions Answered about Separating with Children’ and has recently published a book for children on how to cope with their parent’s divorce, The Split Survival Kit, written with children’s author  Ruth Fitzgerald. Angharad is also passionate about communicating her work and believes key messages around child and family wellbeing should not be limited to the clinic room or the classroom.In the episode, Kate and Angharad explored how children of different ages and genders deal with divorce and separation and the delayed impact this can have in their later life. Angharad explained the idea of ‘re-grieving’ and the benefits revisiting a separation can have for children, even years later.  They also looked at the different types of conflict and how in all its forms this can have a significant impact on children. They discussed the importance of including the other parent in your child’s life, even if they are no longer physically present. Finally, Angharad set out some useful tips on effective ways to tell your children that you’re separating, why parents often experience ‘guilt’ after they separate and what society should be doing in the future to redress the stigma that exists around parental separation.  Click on the link to find out more about Angharad's new book 'The Split Survival Kit: 10 Steps For Coping With Your Parents' Separation'.
Episode #56: Samantha Baines
May 3 2022
Episode #56: Samantha Baines
In this episode, Kate was joined by comedian, actor and broadcaster Samantha Baines to discuss her divorce. Sam is an award-winning comedian, actor and broadcaster with many shows and appearances to her credit including The Crown, Call the midwife and Magic Mike Live. She is also the host of The Divorce Social podcast and has written for various publications including The Guardian, Time Out, Huffington Post, Stylist Magazine, The Pool, Standard Issue and has a column in Modern Woman Magazine.  Sam’s debut children's book Harriet Versus the Galaxy was listed in the Independent's Best Children's Books of the Year 2019 and in the Book Trust's Great Book Guide 2020. She has a second children's book The Night the Moon Went Out which was released last summer. Sam is also an Ambassador for Royal National Institute for Deaf people, is a Phonak HEARo and has spoken to MPs at the House of Commons about hearing issues, as well as fronting the RNID cinema subtitles campaign. Kate and Sam began by exploring her separation which started off on an amicable footing but turned sour during divorce proceedings when solicitors got involved and two sides were created. Sam opened up about how difficult she found the initial aftermath and emotional fallout after her husband left and the difficulties the pandemic brought to the process. They looked at the challenges of healing after divorce as well as how rewarding Sam found it was to rediscover herself through working, sex, dating and self-exploration after the divorce.  Sam discussed her own journey with her mental health and how she has found both therapy and medication useful in helping her to cope. Finally, they talked about Sam's wonderful podcast The Divorce Social which she created in part to help with her own emotional recovery and is a fantastic resource for others going through a similar thing.