Solving Suicide

‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ is a classic Christmas film, with some surprisingly progressive insights around suicide! It’s not without it’s flaws, but through analysing the depiction of the protagonist’s suicide attempt, we can learn a few lessons about suicide. It can also up an extended conversation about suicide representation in popular culture.  Time for me to dust off the ol’ media studies degree! Today, I’ll discuss: -- the lessons we can learn about suicide from ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ -- the positive and negative aspects of suicide representation -- why mass media representation of suicide matter…. -- …and why we shouldn’t rely on angels as a suicide prevention method COLLABORATORS Solving Suicide is brought to you by Dark Coffee – development coaching to get your work and wellbeing working better together so you can feel like a badass in business. Host: Alice Lyons from Dark Coffee Music: ‘Solving Suicide’ by Steve Leggett  If you have any questions or would like to give us any feedback, you can email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk To apply to be on the show, just fill in this form.  INTERNATIONAL SUICIDE SUPPORT HELPLINES: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/ SUICIDE SUPPORT ORGANISATIONS (UK) Samaritans: Confidential suicide discussion and support. Free helpline available round the clock. Text - 116123. Call - 08457 909090 Email - jo@samaritans.org. Website - www.samaritans.org Mind: Support and information for anyone suffering from a mental health problem. 0300 123 3393 Website - Mind.org.uk Saneline: Practical information, crisis care and emotional support to people affected by mental health concerns. Helpline: 0845 767 8000, open daily from 6pm – 11pm.

Black and white thinking can trick us into believing we only have a limited amount of options to solve our problems… which can be particularly harmful if one of those options is suicide. This binary 'black and white' thinking pattern is completely normal – it happens – but there are things we can do to notice and navigate through it, to take our brains in another, more helpful direction! Even better, we can support other people when they're stuck in this mindset. Today, I’ll discuss: -- what black-or-white thinking is and who is susceptible to it -- how it can affect us, and how can it contribute to suicidality -- the good side of black and white thinking -- a simple technique for breaking through black and white thinking on your own -- how to support someone else who is stuck in this thinking pattern -- how we can find more solutions to our problems and ask other people for their input -- the benefit of building a varied support system DISCLAIMERS AND CONTENT WARNINGS SUICIDE – I’ll be touching on thoughts and feelings of suicide, so please do not listen if you’re not in a great head space today. Suicide support organisations are listed below. I am always open to improving the way I talk about any issues raised in the show, so please let me know if you have any feedback [email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk ] COLLABORATORS Solving Suicide is brought to you by Dark Coffee – development coaching to get your work and wellbeing working better together so you can feel like a badass in business. Host: Alice Lyons from Dark Coffee Music: ‘Solving Suicide’ by Steve Leggett  Podcast editing: Steve Leggett If you have any questions or would like to give us any feedback, you can email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk To apply to be on the show, just fill in this form.  SUICIDE SUPPORT ORGANISATIONS (UK) Samaritans: Confidential suicide discussion and support. Free helpline available round the clock. Text - 116123. Call - 08457 909090 Email - jo@samaritans.org. Website - www.samaritans.org Mind: Support and information for anyone suffering from a mental health problem. 0300 123 3393 Website - Mind.org.uk Saneline: Practical information, crisis care and emotional support to people affected by mental health concerns. Helpline: 0845 767 8000, open daily from 6pm – 11pm.

What’s the best way to challenge the stigma associated with suicidality? Perhaps it’s through more of us sharing our stories. Today’s guest, Chris O’Connell, has been very vocal on LinkedIn about his experiences - including multiple suicide attempts – to help spread awareness to his network of 70k connections. In this candid conversation, Chris shares the thoughts and contributing factors leading to one of his attempts, his insights into how we can build stronger mental health, and practical advice about how leaders can support the mental health of their people. We’ll discuss: · why Chris thinks it’s important to speak publicly about suicidality, and what the reaction has been like when he’s done this on social media · misconceptions around suicidality, including the idea that it is selfish · practical ideas for supporting your own wellbeing and prioritising yourself, as well as supporting others · the importance of cultivating compassion and self-love · why we shouldn’t assume that people with all the trappings of success have good mental health · the importance of being able to spend time with yourself, and why this is good for your wellbeing DISCLAIMERS AND CONTENT WARNINGS SUICIDE – Chris goes into some detail about his suicidal feelings and suicide attempt, so please do not listen if you are in a vulnerable headspace today. Additionally, the slur ‘committed suicide’ is used, which we'll be discuss in the intro. Professional organisations are linked at the bottom of the show notes if you’d like any support. ABOUT CHRIS O’CONNELL Chris is an impressive individual whichever way you look at it! He’s a £25 million Recruitment business owner turned purpose-driven NED. Having exited his last business, he now coaches leaders on how to build purpose-led businesses that perform, focusing on best process, vision execution, and harmonising your life with your work.   He's also an outspoken advocate of Mental health, mindset and self care, proud dad to three incredible boys and not afraid to tell you how it is! To get to know Chris better, listen to his podcast The Purpose-Led Leadership Podcast, or follow him on Instagram: @chrisoconnellcoach COLLABORATORS Solving Suicide is brought to you by Dark Coffee – development coaching to get your work and wellbeing working better together so you can feel like a badass in business. Host: Alice Lyons from Dark Coffee Music: ‘Solving Suicide’ by Steve Leggett  If you have any questions or would like to give us any feedback, you can email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk To apply to be on the show, just fill in this form.  SUICIDE SUPPORT ORGANISATIONS (UK) Samaritans: Confidential suicide discussion and support. Free helpline available round the clock. Text - 116123. Call - 08457 909090 Email - jo@samaritans.org. Website - www.samaritans.org

There’s a damaging idea shouted loudly by the self-help community which can be massively detrimental to our mental health if we take it on board; the idea that EVERYTHING is your fault. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a fan of personal responsibility. In fact, the ability to choose your own adventure and put actions into place forms a large part of the work I do with coaching clients. But some gurus will have you believe that you are responsible, not just for how you react to the things that happen to you, but for the fact that they even happened. Yes, that horrible thing that happened to you? It was actually your own doing…. Cue 26 minutes of me arguing against this point. I’ll discuss: · the damaging narrative of ‘personal blame’ touted in the self-help industry · the dark side of the ‘law of attraction’ principle popular in spiritual circles · why these narratives can be detrimental to our mental health · how we can reframe these extreme views as something more helpful and conductive to strong mental health · why none of us is 100% responsible for our circumstances… · …and who or what is really to blame! DISCLAIMERS AND CONTENT WARNINGS SUICIDE – as always, suicidal thoughts and feelings are referenced so please do not listen if you are in a vulnerable headspace today. Professional organisations are linked at the bottom of the show notes if you’d like any support. I am always open to improving the way I talk about any issues raised in the show, so please let me know if you have any feedback [email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk ] RESOURCES, REFERENCES + RECOMMENDATIONS ‘Lost Connections' by Johann Hari ‘Stolen Focus’ by Johann Hari COLLABORATORS Solving Suicide is brought to you by Dark Coffee – development coaching to get your work and wellbeing working better together so you can feel like a badass in business. Host: Alice Lyons from Dark Coffee Music: ‘Solving Suicide’ by Steve Leggett  Podcast editing: Steve Leggett If you have any questions or would like to give us any feedback, you can email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk To apply to be on the show, just fill in this form.  SUICIDE SUPPORT ORGANISATIONS (UK) Samaritans: Confidential suicide discussion and support. Free helpline available round the clock. Text - 116123. Call - 08457 909090 Email - jo@samaritans.org. Website - www.samaritans.org Mind: Support and information for anyone suffering from a mental health problem. 0300 123 3393 Website - Mind.org.uk Saneline: Practical information, crisis care and emotional support to people affected by mental health concerns. Helpline: 0845 767 8000, open daily from 6pm – 11pm.

What if suicidal thoughts are rooted in biology? What if, in effect, it’s not the person’s fault but a result of a hormone deficit? Today’s conversation around testosterone deficiency with Sam Cook blew my mind and I think it’s going to do the same for you. Sam Cook has worked in men’s health for over a decade and is the founder of Mojo Clinic in the UK; a service that specialises in testosterone deficiency and Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT.) He has experienced suicidal thoughts throughout his early 20’s and has worked with many other men that have as well, so he is passionate about normalising the discussion of mental health and how hormone deficiency may play a role in this. Sam mentions A LOT of helpful resources during this episode which will be linked below, and you can connect with him on LinkedIn here. We discuss: · the causes of testosterone deficiency · how testosterone deficiency can negatively affect our mental health · the connection between hormone deficiency and suicidality · how biological factors can combine with other factors to erode our mental health...  · … and why balls are more like a boiler than a thermostat! DISCLAIMERS AND CONTENT WARNINGS SUICIDE - Sam speaks briefly about his own experiences with suicidal thoughts GENDERED LANGUAGE – Sam and I use binary language to discuss men and women as we are speaking about biological sex. I hope the language we’ve used is not exclusionary, but I am always open to improving the way I talk about any issues raised in the show, so please let me know if you have any feedback RESOURCES FROM SAM: Mojo Clinic www.themojoclinic.com Book a free of charge call to discuss possible testosterone deficiency: www.themojoclinic.com/get-started New youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgt0gD7bRuti0BjSsci_CMg Great book on Testosterone Replacement Therapy by Dave Lee: https://advancedfundamentalhealth.com/store/p/trt101 Book Sammentions on intrusive thoughts: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27214340-overcoming-unwanted-intrusive-thoughts Directory if looking for someone to help optimise/improve your mental health (others available) many offer remote/zoom/video sessions: www.bacp.co.uk COLLABORATORS Solving Suicide is brought to you by Dark Coffee – development coaching to get your work and wellbeing working better together so you can feel like a badass in business. Host: Alice Lyons from Dark Coffee Music: ‘Solving Suicide’ by Steve Leggett  Podcast editing: Steve Leggett If you have any questions or would like to give us any feedback, you can email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk To apply to be on the show, just fill in this form.

“In your podcast, could you cover… what to do when you’ve tried everything to improve your life and none of it has worked and you so you just want to stick your head in the oven? Asking for a friend.” So read a dm I received from a listener a couple of weeks ago… and this podcast is the first part of my answer to them. ‘Quick Fix’ is a new mini-series, and it’s here to deliver short, succinct insights that could help you or someone you know who is navigating suicidal thoughts. BIG NOISY DISCLAIMER HERE!! – please use your judgement to discern if you are in the right headspace to listen along, as this conversation could be challenging for you if you are in a moment of crisis. Have a listen when you're feeling good and ready, and hopefully, these snackable insights will live rent free in your head, ready for when you need them. Today I’ll share a simple thought that could help you through a rough time; ‘It only takes one.’ I’ll talk through the concept in the context of suicidality and use a comparable scenario to explain how it’s helpful for making big, overwhelming situations feel tolerable. Thank you for being here – it really helps to expand and normalise the conversation around suicide. Catch you next time, - Alice COLLABORATORS This episode is brought to you by Dark Coffee – development coaching to get your work and wellbeing working better together so you can feel like a badass in business. Host: Alice Lyons from Dark Coffee Music: ‘Solving Suicide’ by Steve Leggett  If you have any questions or would like to give us any feedback, you can email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk To apply to be on the show, just fill in this form.  RESOURCES Suicide Support Organisations (UK) Samaritans: Confidential suicide discussion and support. Free helpline available round the clock. Text - 116123. Call - 08457 909090 Email - jo@samaritans.org. Website - www.samaritans.org Mind: Support and information for anyone suffering from a mental health problem. 0300 123 3393 Website - Mind.org.uk Saneline: Practical information, crisis care and emotional support to people affected by mental health concerns. Helpline: 0845 767 8000, open daily from 6pm – 11pm.

Before we can work towards finding solutions to suicide, it’s important to gain a deeper understanding of it. And one of the best ways we can do this is by sharing our stories and experiences with it. For me, I experienced chronic suicidal ideation (recurring suicidal thoughts and feelings) from the age of 19, which affected me massively throughout my twenties. So today, I wanted to discuss these experiences in a good amount of detail to give an inside view of what suicidality can feel like. BIG, LOUD disclaimers apply here: if you are in emotional distress or feeling vulnerable, you may not want to listen since I will obviously be discussing suicidality in detail, including a brief discussion of the methods I considered.* However… if you ARE feeling well enough to partake, I hope today’s episode will be insightful, and maybe even comforting if you have felt suicidal in the past. In this episode, I’ll be discussing: my first-hand experiences with suicidal thoughts and feelingswhat prompted these feelings – possible contributing factors – and how these      thoughts manifested for mehow I found a surprising level of comfort in thoughts of suicidesome of the unhelpful methods I used to try and counteract my low mental health (including aimlessly driving across the UK)…and how hitting a rock bottom moment following a breakdown helped me start to learn how to look after myself Thank you for being here – it really helps to expand and normalise the conversation around suicide. Catch you next time, Alice *To learn more about how to talk about suicide responsibly, have a read of The Samartian’s guide here:  COLLABORATORS This episode is brought to you by Dark Coffee – development coaching to get your work and wellbeing working better together so you can feel like a badass in business. Host: Alice Lyons from Dark Coffee Music: ‘Solving Suicide’ by Steve Leggett  Podcast editing: Steve Leggett If you have any questions or would like to give us any feedback, you can email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk To apply to be on the show, just fill in this form.  RESOURCES Suicide Support Organisations (UK) Samaritans: Confidential suicide discussion and support. Free helpline available round the clock. Text - 116123. Call - 08457 909090 Email -  jo@samaritans.org. Website - www.samaritans.org Mind: Support and information for anyone suffering from a mental health problem. 0300 123 3393 Website - Mind.org.uk Saneline: Practical information, crisis care and emotional support to people affected by mental health concerns. Helpline: 0845 767 8000, open daily from 6pm – 11pm.

There are a lot of misconceptions about suicide and suicidality and the conversation is always changing. So today, I wanted to bring you 10 insights that I have from speaking openly about suicide for the last four years, with both survivors and specialists. Usual disclaimers apply here: if you are in emotional distress or feeling vulnerable, you may not want to listen since I will obviously be discussing suicidality at length. However… today’s episode could be weirdly comforting and reassuring for anyone who has felt suicidal in the past and wants to feel a little bit more normal about the whole thing. In this episode, I’ll talk share: some interesting aspects about all parts of the suicide spectrum (yup, there’s a spectrum)how suicidality affects more people than we realisesome of the (dare I say) positives that came from experiencing suicidal feelingsbusting some myths around suicidalitytalking about the language around suicide with some recommendations of phrases to use or avoidthe need to take the suicide conversation to take it mainstreamthe importance of distinguishing between mental and emotional health – and how this can help us understand suicidality better Thank you for being here, and I'll catch you next time. Alice COLLABORATORS This episode is brought to you by Dark Coffee – development coaching to get your work and wellbeing working better together so you can feel like a badass in business. Host: fAlice Lyons rom Dark Coffee  Music: Solving Suicide Theme by Steve Leggett  If you have any questions or would like to give us any feedback, you can email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk To apply to be on the show, just fill in this form.  RESOURCES Suicide Support Organisations (UK) Samaritans: Confidential suicide discussion and support. Free helpline available round the clock. Text - 116123. Call - 08457 909090 Email -  jo@samaritans.org. Website - www.samaritans.org Mind: Support and information for anyone suffering from a mental health problem. 0300 123 3393 Website - Mind.org.uk Saneline: Practical information, crisis care and emotional support to people affected by mental health concerns. Helpline: 0845 767 8000, open daily from 6pm – 11pm.

Suicide is something that will probably affect us all. So, why aren’t more of us talking about it? Solving Suicide aims to blow the conversation wide open by bringing together the great at the good in suicide prevention. Our aim is to hold powerful conversations that will help deepen understanding, share solutions and zero the death rate. Episode 1 is an orientation to tell you: what the podcast is aboutwho the heck your host iswho we think you are (and why you might enjoy listening)plus, any other business, and some faqs to answer all your questions about how the podcast will run, a few editorial decisions, and why we’ve decided not to swear (sorry!) This episode is brought to you by Dark Coffee – development coaching to get your work and wellbeing working better together so you can feel like a badass in business. CONTRIBUTORS Host: Alice Lyons from Dark Coffee  Music: Solving Suicide Theme by Steve Leggett  If you have any questions or would like to give us any feedback, you can email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk Or, to apply to be on the show, just fill in this form.  RESOURCES Suicide Support Organisations (UK) Samaritans: Confidential suicide discussion and support. Free helpline available round the clock. Text - 116123. Call - 08457 909090 Email -  jo@samaritans.org. Website - www.samaritans.org Mind: Support and information for anyone suffering from a mental health problem. 0300 123 3393 Website - Mind.org.uk Saneline: Practical information, crisis care and emotional support to people affected by mental health concerns. Helpline: 0845 767 8000, open daily from 6pm – 11pm.

Welcome to Solving Suicide - the podcast on a mission to deepen understanding, share solutions, and zero the death rate. Solving Suicide will bring together the great and the good in suicide prevention, from mental health professionals to lived experience speakers. Host Alice Lyons experienced suicidal feelings throughout her adolescence and twenties. She is now passionate about creating spaces where we can explore suicidality and prevention together, through harnessing our collective bravery and curiosity, with a bit of awkwardness thrown in.