THE YUMMY WAY PODCAST

Danét & Lar Palmer

THE YUMMY WAY — Wouldn't you like to feel yummy all the time? The Yummy Way is simply saying Yes to what’s happening, here & now and feeling good, or yummy about it. Each week we serve a delectable menu of what makes life truly scrumptious and how you can enjoy all of it. You can look forward to powerful insights, inspiring stories and actionable tips on living consciously mindful and Yummy, so you enjoy the delicious banquet of your life — the simple things as well as the challenges with grace and joy! As connoisseurs in practical spirituality, Danét and Parker or Lar share funny antidotes & satisfying ways you can love yourself, lighten up your life and make equanimity the foundation for living a yummy and fulfilling life. Learn what your personal Yummy-Stat is and how to use it to navigate that crazy mind-field in your head. Discover how to neutralize external triggers and overcome internal glitches that highjack your happiness, so you are free to be you. If you’re sick of the heavy, unhealthy menu of negative self-talk & self-sabotage— if you’re ready to kick fear-based thinking to the curb, take a seat. You're in the right place. We'll share how we do it and you can too! With insights and practices you can take on the go, we invite you to have a yummy mindset meal with us each week.

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Ultimately—You Are Your True Authority
May 11 2022
Ultimately—You Are Your True Authority
In today’s episode we talking about how we find and live from each of our own integrity to true self verses out of obligation or deferring to some perceived authority. It’s amazing how quickly we can defer to a so-called authority, when a seeming crisis happens and loose touch with your genuine personal experience. So often, at times like this, we give authority figures the power to tell us how we should feel. It’s almost like ‘shit man, I’ve been going along doing fine, and now I’ve got this ‘problem’ that now I’ve got to fix.’And if you get obsessive about it, your life gets really small. Life becomes about a problem to be fixed — rather than a life to be lived.If you’re loosing your center of peace, and fixating on the so-called problem, it feels icky. You’re no longer receiving life as it comes in and flowing with life, you’re identifying with the problem or problem fixing. For instance, I’ve got a heart condition, so now that becomes a new identity. But once we notice that tightening around the problem fixing identity, we can readjust by accepting that this new experience is now part of my new reality. We’ve got to remember that ultimately we are the greatest authority for our lives — we’ve got our yummy-stat, showing us if we’ve compromised our personal power, and giving it to an authority outside ourselves — it feels icky. Sure they can offer valuable information and suggestions. It is our responsibility to bring that information to counsel with our inner being that has our best interest —always!There’s no chance the wrong thing is happening. Pay attention to where you are resisting the actuality of your current situation… relax & let go… Accept what is, because that is the gift this present moment is offering you. You can only live in this moment. Taking predictive action, because an authority said if you don’t do this, then that will happen, needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Does it feel loving and joyful to move in that direction? Or is fear of consequences motivating you?Being aware of your yummy-stat constantly redirecting you to you inner truth, your true authority is crucial. When you do, you can deal with any situation that occurs — even a heart condition, a broken back or cancer. Nothing is ever happening you can’t deal with with with acceptance and love. If it’s your experience, you have what it takes to deal with it. Period.Every experience is divine. Being who you are is your only job in this life. Accepting yourself as you are lets you live authentically — you are at home with yourself and you can live from love. You’re no longer trying to get something from life — you’re serving the moment given you right now and you can love all of it.
Ultimately—You Are Your True Authority
May 11 2022
Ultimately—You Are Your True Authority
In today’s episode we talking about how we find and live from each of our own integrity to true self verses out of obligation or deferring to some perceived authority. It’s amazing how quickly we can defer to a so-called authority, when a seeming crisis happens and loose touch with your genuine personal experience. So often, at times like this, we give authority figures the power to tell us how we should feel. It’s almost like ‘shit man, I’ve been going along doing fine, and now I’ve got this ‘problem’ that now I’ve got to fix.’And if you get obsessive about it, your life gets really small. Life becomes about a problem to be fixed — rather than a life to be lived.If you’re loosing your center of peace, and fixating on the so-called problem, it feels icky. You’re no longer receiving life as it comes in and flowing with life, you’re identifying with the problem or problem fixing. For instance, I’ve got a heart condition, so now that becomes a new identity. But once we notice that tightening around the problem fixing identity, we can readjust by accepting that this new experience is now part of my new reality. We’ve got to remember that ultimately we are the greatest authority for our lives — we’ve got our yummy-stat, showing us if we’ve compromised our personal power, and giving it to an authority outside ourselves — it feels icky. Sure they can offer valuable information and suggestions. It is our responsibility to bring that information to counsel with our inner being that has our best interest —always!There’s no chance the wrong thing is happening. Pay attention to where you are resisting the actuality of your current situation… relax & let go… Accept what is, because that is the gift this present moment is offering you. You can only live in this moment. Taking predictive action, because an authority said if you don’t do this, then that will happen, needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Does it feel loving and joyful to move in that direction? Or is fear of consequences motivating you?Being aware of your yummy-stat constantly redirecting you to you inner truth, your true authority is crucial. When you do, you can deal with any situation that occurs — even a heart condition, a broken back or cancer. Nothing is ever happening you can’t deal with with with acceptance and love. If it’s your experience, you have what it takes to deal with it. Period.Every experience is divine. Being who you are is your only job in this life. Accepting yourself as you are lets you live authentically — you are at home with yourself and you can live from love. You’re no longer trying to get something from life — you’re serving the moment given you right now and you can love all of it.
Living With Uncertainty
Apr 11 2022
Living With Uncertainty
We’re always living with uncertainty. We just think we have control. None of us really know what’s going to happen next. We only have now and we have the ability to be fully present and actively alive and awake to what is happening right now. Am I resisting and spinning a story of future catastrophe, or am I accepting what’s happening now, with Love and Joy?Living with cancer constantly brings this point home. We have a tendency to predict and plan, imagining we can mitigate our personal, fearful possible future scenarios. But they aren’t reality. That’s imagination. The ego’s job is to create problems to solve — to predict catastrophic outcomes. If you’ve identified yourself as a problem-solver, you’re always making up problems to solve. All problems are only problems because we’ve rejected reality and we’ve labeled what’s happening as a problem. But that’s just mental gymnastics. In actuality, you’re fine. Right here and now. You’re dealing. This is life. There’s always another way of looking at your situation. To think, “perhaps, life is really going my way right now — how might that way be?”Lar shares about a situation at work where he initially resisted, but then opened his mind to this perspective that YES! This is just what I wanted! Thank you! Everything goes my way!And I share about some of the mental gymnastics I got up to doing some yummy book launch parties and surrendering to the flow of each present moment.Each of us is writing our own story and each story is ALL our stories… We are humankind and we are glorious!!!Once you get away from the ego running things and you really look at what’s important, and what’s the reality of what’s happening. And you’re not trying to make something happen —you’re not trying to meet some criteria. — You’re just experiencing the all-ness of what you get to experience — It’s absolutely YUMMY exactly as it is!If you can just keep in mind, that there is no chance the wrong thing is happening — none of us know what that will be — you can live in uncertainty with equanimity…Life is aways confirming that you’re right where you’re supposed to be and it’s easy to see  if you’re open to seeing it.Life is going your way — if you’re not experiencing that, you’re just getting in they way of experiencing it, with your mental gymnastics.We share the way we work with emotions that arise, say, while watching television, and how we allow emotions to arise, own them, and in taking responsibility, we question our beliefs and decisions… and how we bring choice and transformation into our conversation and lives.Thanks for joining us for another yummy conversation about living The Yummy Way! And recognizing when we’re not.. and turning the dial toward accountability so you can live present in the moment you are in. — Being fully in the present moment is death to the ego. Because Love and ego can’t occupy the same space.Love & present Joy, is the yummy way! It is our joy to share them with you. We’d love to hear from you!
Reality vs What You Think About It
Mar 15 2022
Reality vs What You Think About It
In today’s podcast episode we’re talking about how we’re constantly getting derailed from presence in the moment we’re in, by jumping into reacting to the stimuli in front of us as if we’re actually part of it. We leave our presence in favor of judgement about what should or shouldn’t be happening — or what so-and-so shouldn’t or should be saying. But it’s not even our reality. The moment in front of you is reality. What’s happening right here and now. For example, what’s actually happening is you are sitting holding your phone and looking at the screen and reading your newsfeed. Perhaps you’re doomscrolling what’s happening in Ukraine or the political scene or what someone posted on FB.You’re noticing you’re feeling upset about what your reading. Because you don’t like what you’re reading. You make judgements about the thing you’re reading as if you’re a participant in the scenario you’re reading about. You’re taking sides mentally. Now, you tell someone else about it as if it is a real thing. But the actuality of you’re reality is that you’re sitting looking at a phone screen and the rest is imagination, based on your conditioned beliefs and sense of self.  Lar talks about a situation he read about on his newsfeed and how he instantly judged the situation and what that said about who persons involved were. But by bringing it to the light of awareness and into conversation, he saw the short-term payoff of self-righteous judgement, and furthermore, he was able to see that his judgment was a reaction based in a set of fearful beliefs about what ‘might’ happen if they are right. But with further exploration, we were able to see that imaging what should and shouldn’t happen is a fantasy to give us a false sense of control over what we actually have no control over. It’s way outside of being present and accounting to your immediate choice of how we want to experience what’s happening. When you notice that you’re caught up in the scenario, as if it is your reality, that’s a prefect opportunity to see where it is you are holding yourself.What’s happening is not what’s bothering you — What you thinking about it, is what’s bothering you. But what’s happening is actually always innocent. Life is happening, and what we’re experiencing is our reaction to the information coming into our moment and we decide whether we’re going to bother ourselves with it or not. By accepting it all, our hearts become available to add love to the collective energy pool.Judgment can seem automatic — especially when we’re doomscrolling our newsfeeds, right?But reality is this moment. You’re reading information on a screen.  It’s just words on a screen, actually. You’re having a reaction to what you’re reading,  you can notice your attaching your identity to what you think is a ‘right side’ of it, and that tells you that you have a belief that there’s a right and wrong. You can ask yourself: how much do you want to attach to that stance?  How much peace are you willing to sacrifice to that ‘rightness?’ In order to restore yourself to peace, you have to accept all of it. Accepting lets your whole being come into play. And with it, the ability to make a choice that is more aligned with your whole being — your essential being.Experiences happen and as they happen, if we let them move though us — that’s experiencing life. Love is a power that needs nothing else. We have this moment before us, and our experience of it. Ask yourself, in each given moment, what is your integrity? Remind yourself:It’s not my business to condone or to judge. It’s my business to accept reality as it is in my reality. But I can be conscientious about where I’m coming from and what I’m going to do with it.
066_Living With Cancer — Living in the Emotional Rollercoaster
Feb 14 2022
066_Living With Cancer — Living in the Emotional Rollercoaster
In today’s episode we’re talking the emotional journey we’re experiencing living with cancer and about staying in the conversation as emotions shift and change. Low grade depression, grief, moments of elation and the constant acceptance of life as it’s showing up at this moment. Lar talks about some specifics in his physical health and his responses: confusion, resistance, surrender and ultimately acceptance. He talks about how the docs immediately offered antidepressants to manage his moods. What we did with this is bring it into our ongoing conversation. It’s like once you become aware of something, you realize you’re already allowing it, so now you can actively accept what is. We invite everything into conversation. Here we question what the true motives are behind choices we’re making on a daily basis. Am I using my cancer to avoid things I think I should be doing — or even things I want to do, but don’t seem to be taking any action toward? Or do I actually have depression? By bringing it all into the conversation an ease about it takes over. In accepting that yes, I maybe I am depressed and that has been using up vital energy — that’s the way of it right now.The cool thing about facing and owning that depression is part of what’s going on —that it shifts the energy — ever so slightly, but continually none the less.The result has been a renewed simplicity in naturally taking small incremental actions we’re now feeling aligned with… And that is enough.The energy is now circulating. It might be a completely different pace than what you’re use to, but this is the now normal — and this now normal will shift again. Accepting the shifting and changing is key. Everything is about accepting what is —right here and right now. We can’t control what cancer’s doing. But we can make choices about the attitude by which we approach it.  By being in the present moment and being willingly intimate with what’s happening, we notice all the little subtleties than can easily be passed over. Just acknowledging what’s happening stops what the ego’s trying to do. The ego’s job is to take you out of the present moment and create an imaginary problem, that it can get you to fixate on fixing something.  It’s not just depression, it’s grief about an imagined future that perpetuates the cycle. But acknowledging it, brings us back to presence. Once present, we see this is fine. It is enough. We are living with it. We’ve just accepted the BOLD invitation from cancer to be extremely present moment focused and now we can laugh about the tendency to futurize…Noticing this ego dance dispels it’s power, and brings you back to the present moment. That, we can deal with. We can be with what’s happening emotionally, embrace it and all answers to come. And sometimes, there are no answers. And you’re always embracing the unknown. Part of life’s dance we’ve been experiencing simultaneously has been my experience being an author and bringing a new book into the world. There’s a lot more unknown than known for me. Bringing myself present when I notice myself getting caught up in ‘what I need to to’ and away from the excitement of the journey, has been a big part our conversation as well. Bringing it into our conversation brings me back to the knowledge that only the right thing is going to happen. Because joy is my guide. Everything goes my way. If it doesn’t feel yummy, I’m out of alignment with my true self — the yummy loving being that is ME! By breathing, presencing and bringing myself back to myself, and inviting the circumstances that lend themselves to being out of alignment, into our conversation, it brings everything back to the present and we laugh about the crazy shit the mind gets up to.Just as it is with cancer in our lives!
065_#2 My Beta Readers Talk About My New Book — Baptized By Love: How I Found Present Joy and Never Let It Go
Feb 8 2022
065_#2 My Beta Readers Talk About My New Book — Baptized By Love: How I Found Present Joy and Never Let It Go
Lyn Gregory — my experience of reading the book  —the comprehensive and cohesive elegant way you strung together the moments of your life created something that is really just such an exquisite memoir …  You toss off nuggets that are so profound that happen, and while I’m reeling from the truth of that moment and the truth of what you’ve realized, and you’re already onto the next sentence — and I’m like, I’ve got to stop and really absorb this. So, even though this was such a compelling and propulsive read, I had to slow down, so I felt like could really, totally understand all the levels of which this was impacting me.There are things you share, where I felt like, like with meditation, where you share the internal surrender that is necessary in meditation, to find the peace we seek. One of the characters you create so vividly on the page is Betty. You can feel the love in every sentence of that relationship where you take her wisdom and integrate it into your life. About living every moment fully. You distill things to their essence. Moira Novak — The action happens immediately - it’s like a James Bond movie. There’s so many moment that are impactful. I had to slow down so purposefully. I teach mindfulness, and started putting down the ways you show us the moment to moment practice of mindfulness.  And it doesn’t feel like being pushed and pulled into a way of thinking but this was a happening. The intellectual understanding and embodiment of how you practice it and showing it in the simplicity. You don’t make a doing of the surrendering, but there is a letting go process. You’re very vulnerable about saying this is a lot of work, but it’s not the kind of work you can do in a rush. It’s an every day,  moment by moment awareness of what you were experiencing, non-judgmentally. Willing to be kind to yourself.  If anything, I’d say this is a lesson in self-compassion. The work is inside. There was a passage that struck me so much that I kept rereading it that it impacted me so much, I wrote it down. You said, “About attending first to the love and joy of my own being so that the overflow is available for others.” We only have to give to others, what is overflowing in us. We see that time and time again throughout the book. I learned so much about how give myself self-compassion without feeling week. I loved how you baptized yourself in the shower — the willingness to accept that grace from the Divine. Brian Harris — I was able to live the transformation through your story — it’s like the owners manual for changing your perception and and life. It’s like a step -by-step guide through example. It is all so inspiring for anyone trying to change — this is going to be that catalyst for for a lot of people. You made a lot of decisions at critical moments in your life that, you were able to tune into your inner guidance system to make these decisions that accelerated your spiritual growth and evolution, that we’re routing for you every step of the way. People that read this will be able to relate to, if not the horrific experiences specifically, but the lessons they can gain through reading your process, without going through all themselves.Patricia York — You lay down your life and accept a new one. You show by your example, how transformation happens. The imagery is so beautiful, the metaphor and symbolism you use, is what makes the reader stop and show down and fall in love with this moment with the author. What I say was that surrender isn’t just giving in, it is saying ‘I don’t know how to do this.’ I makes the reader want what you have. I love the smell imagery, and how that ties to how you relate it with Betty. There’s not a lot of exposition, it’s just beautiful, simple statements that make you stop and think about.I loved your dedication in your book. You claim being the amazing woman she always knew you were.
064_#1 My Beta Readers Talk About My New Book — Baptized By Love: How I Found Present Joy and Never Let It Go
Jan 29 2022
064_#1 My Beta Readers Talk About My New Book — Baptized By Love: How I Found Present Joy and Never Let It Go
Keri Maughan — the overarching theme of redemption, underpinnings of reconciliation and redemption with the other characters; mother, father, children. Each character has their own redemption story. The tapestry of life  is being rewoven. You systematically show us how to recognized truth. The truth within ourself — how you feel inside speaks to you about your truth.More than a one-time read —It’s a formula for personal integrity. “Pure Love leans us toward integrity.” Show up for yourself, then you can show up for others. Speaks to the raw ugliness of life all of living life in its depth and surrender coming into hope and reconciliation with the Divine. There is a formula to come to yourself and be whole again. The thematic is one of love and acceptance. Of redemption and reconciliation and transformation for every character. The letter to the Divine, the honesty and surrender and willingness to be made new. Recognition of Divine Love and letting love in. The relationship with your children — accepting their anger. Debunking the lies of childhood and self deception, accept and forgive and heal.Cynthia Holman-Schmidt — the Raw honesty throughout. The miracle of forgiveness and healing with Dad. The bond through A Course in Miracles. The truth is the truth and come from many sources. The commitment to the morning date with God. The yummy-stat guide, yummy is feeling aligned. The equitable transformation of both parties in relationships. Accepting that everyone is just doing the best they can.Emma Dugal — They heroine’s journey — transformation and alchemy — it’s the journey from shame to love. I makes one feel like if she can do it, so can I. The relationship with Betty, the breaking down false beliefs and allowing understanding and love. Doesn’t mean you rollover, but to stand up and have your voice when its necessary. And claim your power.The crux of it is the reconciliation with God. Healing the shame — You’ve  woven this tapestry of this story of your perception  Shar Pittman — you’re my Betty and following your path has led me to redemption and permission to be myself and love it. Reconcile what we do when our child is harmedThe book is like a guide. How you see each person as a savior. Love is the answer. This is a book for the recovery community. You show us how ‘if I’m not the problem, there is no solution.’ You show how your perception is everything. Take ownership, and use the tools to change perception. Aligning with love — And choosing to see things through love.Also the them of “Everything goes my way.” No matter what’s happening — it’s trust in Life.This book will be a study of  transformation for others. It is an invitation for others to find their own connection to the Divine — it’s a non-threatening permission to ask for help and accept it.
063_Miracles & MIRACLES — Living With Cancer
Jan 11 2022
063_Miracles & MIRACLES — Living With Cancer
Today we thought we’d talk about miracles. We’ve heard that word thrown around a lot since we started living with cancer in our lives. Especially since we decided to discontinue treatment and let cancer take its natural course. There is this idea that we should fighting cancer to the bitter end, waiting for the BIG ultimate miracle — being cancer free. Like life without cancer is somehow superior or valid or more favorable, than life with cancer.  It has been interesting to note people’s reactions to mortality when it’s staring them in the face, when it’s someone you know. Like people telling us, ‘Keep fighting, don’t give up. Why are you stopping treatment? You have to keep fighting. You have to fight and you have to pray for the miracle.’We found it interesting the use of the word miracle… Like a miracle is only a miracle when it gives you the unbelievable. When it results in something no one foresaw — where all you could do was hope and pray that this result would happen. But you have to keep praying for it because… you never know… it could happen. And you have to battle reality to get there. This whole idea of cancer as a battle to be fought cheats you of seeing it — the way we’ve chosen to — as a dance with life when cancer is part of it. If what life has brought us is cancer, and we resist — make a battle out of it, thinking we can force the outcome we want — we cheat ourselves from accepting, wholeheartedly, the actuality of living with cancer — embracing each step we’re guided toward, be it operations, immunotherapy, chemo — and no more treatment, and being fully present and together, sharing each moment exactly as it is.This is what we have chosen to do, from the first moment of recognizing something was amiss, to the current acceptance that treatment is no longer viable for us — we’ve chosen to accept and love what we have, being present to the joys, frustrations, pains, awarenesses and the love we share, appreciating each moment. That is the MIRACLE we’ve been living in!!! Why would we waste one moment of the life we have right now, hoping for something in the future that’s going to change everything, when we’re experiencing miracles on a daily basis, of acceptance and love and joy and peace — and living LIFE!That’s what living the yummy way is. The miracle of looking at what life gives us, like grief and change and forgiving… and looking at it with love. The miracle is being able to look at it, put aside resentments and false personas we been carrying with us all this time, and realize ‘oh, I don’t have to carry that any more.’ Do I want to keep parceling out forgiveness, holding onto a self-righteous grudge, when I could let it go right now — and be at peace?It just so happens that cancer is the catalyst that brought home to us, to present choice: ‘if I’m going to do this, it might as well be right now!’ This moment could be your catalyst moment, a moment of urgency to ask yourself, why am I carrying around self-righteous grudges when I could be at peace. Be honest. It might seem to feel good for a quick cheap hit of superiority. But it doesn’t really feel yummy. Or peaceful. The miracle is choosing to shift from resentment to love. From personas to authenticity. The miracle is seeing that everything that happens, there is a way to look at it with love and appreciation. The miracle is being seeing that it couldn’t go any other way than the way its it.And loving reality just as it is.Thank you for joining us for another yummy conversation about living the yummy way — joyously loving each moment in reality as it is, right here, right now.
062_Living with Cancer
Dec 14 2021
062_Living with Cancer
The crux of the yummy way philosophy is accepting life just exactly as it is, however it is showing up in each present moment — no matter what arises.  And loving every aspect of it — because that’s what you’ve got! It is really recognizing that it is the only way to live in equanimity with life — in the pulse of life itself. Acceptance is only way to live in peace and joy. Regardless of any particular circumstance. Even cancer. What is, is what is. Resistance to accepting it is ultimately (as the Borg would say) futile. This brings us to the topic we’ve chosen to discuss in the upcoming series of podcasts, this one being the first. Living with cancer — the yummy way. Lar was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer nearly three years ago. We’ve been living with cancer each moment and it has been accepting it fully as part of the dance with life we’ve been invited into, allows us to live each moment with grace. Grace that each is the whole of life. To see each moment as a miracle of life itself — grateful to be living it. So, whatever feelings arise, we feel them as part of the dance, such as life is, when cancer comes to visit, and stays. Part of the dance is not inching when resistance show up —  the temptation to be afraid, to hope, to want it somehow be something different than it is… These become the springboard for deep conversation, processing, and ultimately surrender of the resistance, so we can see what really is — Life doing what it’s doing, right here and now. There is such sweetness in surrendering resistance to what is. A serene peace that we’ve found incredible by simply showing up with our truth with each other, moment by moment, day by day, week after week — living life fully through treatments, while the body breaks down, recovers a bit, and then adjusts to each new reality as cancer does what it does. In today’s podcast, Lar shares his experience since the recent prognosis that treatment is no longer viable. The treatment had become more toxic to the body, than the cancer.  That is the reality. Accepting reality as it actually is right now and making the decision to discontinue treatment,  and to let cancer take its natural coarse. For us, finding that place of acceptance brings grace to live each moment, without the wishful thinking that robs us of presence.  The whole ‘battle with cancer’ storyline is such a crock. It’s perpetuated by modern medicine and the fear of death,  keeps us from presence. None of us are getting out of this gig alive. The body’s natural course leads to death.  Being authentically honest with ourselves in each moment is crucial to acceptance. Become aware of the patterns of our programming and notice how we feel when we aren’t being true to ourselves, our love, and the dignity of living authentically… to speak our truth, because that is what’s honest. Once we do, we can allow others the dignity to their response and not attach some fabricated personal responsibility to what they do with the information.What are you living with that you are denying in part, hoping for something different than what is?  Can you pause a moment and accept what is, because it is what is? What if this were you last day on earth? How would it change the choices you make with your time and the people in your life? It could be…Would you be totally, honestly authentically you? Why not make today that day?We’re going to continue to share our conversations with each other and our experience with living with cancer in the upcoming episodes — so stay tuned. Have a yummy day!
061_Cultivating Self-reflection to Live a More Self-aware Life
Nov 16 2021
061_Cultivating Self-reflection to Live a More Self-aware Life
In today’s podcast we’re discussing the importance of cultivating self-reflection to increase both self-awareness and dismantle old patterns of reaction that no longer serve us. You’re going along feeling perfectly fine, peaceful, being in the moment, seemingly flowing with life, then BAM! All of the sudden something happen and you feel like you’ve go to take a stand, you got to make your point, defend yourself or your position — be right…Is it really because what you’re taking a stand on or defending is really so important to you or is it because you have run up against unconscious conditioned beliefs you don’t want to look at? Self-awareness comes from noticing — and then reflecting on what’s really going on when we get activated by something that happens or someone says something and we feel ourselves getting defensive or wanting to distract or avoid the actuality of the moment before us. These moments when we ‘get activated’ are messages from our true being, inviting us to pause and reflect, and to ask ourselves questions like: Why do I feel so defensive right now? What belief is being threatened? Where did it come from? Is it happening now? Or is it an old stand based in a moment (or several) in the past that I have not let go, and now this little thing or conversation feels bigger than it really is?Self-reflection is simply being willing to pause and realize, “This is an old script. Let me look at it in context of this present moment in my life. The script is telling me I have to defend or whatever,… then seeing one thing and asking yourself is that really true? Then you peel back that layer and ask is that really true?”If we don’t take a moment and ask ourselves, “what’s really going on here?” We let fear, defensiveness and justification not only drive this moment’s conversation, but all future conversations when this same topic arises … Just like it has for so many years in past. And we use the same excuse for behaving in a way that feels icky and doesn’t ever really satisfy because we are not actually dealing with reality, but a story we’ve designed to protect ourselves from the pain we felt in the past, which we haven’t let go and let the energy move through.  Once you see that the past is gone,  you realize it can’t influence you unless you don’t let it go. But you can always let it go. Once you see it, releasing it is ultimately inevitable if you want to be free to be true to yourself and the moment you’re in.Reason will tell you, it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t serve you anymore. You take a breath, relax, and release the energy stored as stress inside. And your energy starts flowing and it is available for you to create an new relationship with this same topic, with out judgement getting in the way. Our conversation takes us into how we get activated by stuff that we see happening around us — the political scene, the pandemic, climate change, our neighbor, a friend, and recognizing that we’re actually powerless over so much what’s happening. But we get activated and all self-righteous about it. But the thing is, it just perception. I’m activated based on my perception of what’s right and wrong and what that says about us. But we’re just defending against the feeling of powerlessness. Shit’s just happening. It’s a constant. It’s not a problem for me unless I make it my problem. The question is, “do I want to be at peace with life or not?” By accepting what’s happening from a place of love, of unity, of peace, we have access to our own point of power within ourselves.  Then we can be free to be authentically ourselves. This is why self reflection is so crucial to living a yummy life. Getting activated is actually a gift of self reflection, resulting in more self-awareness.
060_The Upside of Vulnerability
Oct 26 2021
060_The Upside of Vulnerability
In today’s podcast we’re talking about vulnerability. How often do we enter encounters with others from a preconceived idea of what we think the situation requires of us and then play the role we believe we need to play to get approval or acceptance? Do you filter your authentic self based on the mental constructs you’ve built from past perceptions which make you feel less vulnerable? Do you hide your most authentic self?Why?Perhaps you’ve been vulnerably honestly yourself in the past and it wasn’t received with love or kindness. Or maybe you’ve even felt it was used against you. So you create a belief that if you are authentically and honestly yourself, it’s going to come back to bite you in the ass. You tell yourself you can’t be totally honest and open because you’re going to get in trouble if you do. And this justifies playing a role based on past perception, rather than just showing up and being you. The thing is, what you’ve done is given something or someone outside yourself to determine your okayness. If we’re waiting for the outside world to show us enough acceptance and non-judgement to tell us it’s safe to be ourselves, then we are at the mercy of circumstances and people.  Honesty is missing in this equation. So everyone is role-playing and nothing truly authentic and present is happening because it’s all being run through ‘fear of vulnerability’ filters. Living vulnerably as your authentic self requires self-awareness and self trust. Know thy self. This is the first step in shifting from externally based operating, to showing up in as you truly are, openly expressing yourself honestly and trusting yourself to handle what happens. The key is paying attention the way the energies feel inside. Becoming really intimate with them is the gift of waking up to our true authentic self. These energies are always telling us if we’re coming from love or fear, by the way we feel. Yummy or icky?What we call our yummy-stat. When we’re in fear of being ourself, the energy tightens up. And the experience life is offering can’t flow through us. It feels icky. It’s telling us we’re about to be less than wholly true to ourselves. What it really gets down to is letting go of the outcome of what will happen when we’re honestly us... If we’re looking outside ourselves for validation then we’re never going to know our own worth. If we want to know ourselves in all the situations in our lives, we have to take the risk to be authentically ourselves, tell our truth as fast as we’re aware what it is, and let the chips fall where they may. When we  love ourselves, we know that whatever happens, we can trust ourselves to deal with it. Our worth isn’t attached to the outcome, but center within our being. We’ve always already won because we’re not waiting on something outside ourselves to prove our worthiness.  This is why our yummy-stat is so powerful. As soon as we feel that tightening, icky feeling inside, we know that we are stepping away from authenticity, and trying to control our vulnerability. We can pause, soften around the perception construct in our belief system, and recenter back in our true self. It is only from this place of authentically being ourselves that we get to experience the fullness of the the experience life is offering us in any given moment.Life is vulnerable. We never know what’s going to happen. The story that we can control that is a lie. It’s nothing to be afraid of. The more you tell the truth and be true to yourself, the more it becomes the only way that feels right. Only by being you can you know the innate joy that lets all outcomes be acceptable. You can’t help but love yourself, when you’re showing up for you. This is the upside of living from vulnerability as your authentic self.
059_You Have Epiphany Moments of Enlightenment. Why, Then Do Certain Things Keep Bothering You?
Oct 12 2021
059_You Have Epiphany Moments of Enlightenment. Why, Then Do Certain Things Keep Bothering You?
Life happens. It is the ever flowing energy of creation appearing as everything happening. It’s not personal. But we make it personal by bothering ourselves — by deciding we don’t like what’s happening.If we like what’s happening we flow with it. The experience comes in and the energy flows through us and we experience the event, emotions and thoughts that come and go moment to moment. This is the purpose of our lives — to experience our lives.But what about when we don’t like what’s happening. If what’s happening doesn’t meet the criteria we’ve placed on it to make us feel okay inside, we resist. When we resist, we trap the resistant energy inside and it creates inner pain points we try desperately to avoid activating. Yes?If you’re taking what’s happening personally, you know you’ve attached your okayness to the externals going a certain way for you to feel okay.We have these moments of enlightenment where we recognize the truth within us, and we feel like everything has now changed. Then at some point, a similar thing happens and we find ourselves reacting in the old way we did before we had our moment of enlightenment and we think, “Shit! Why am I reacting this way? I thought I was done with this. I already got this. I know the truth.”What can we do?What we have a tendency to do is to judge ourselves for ‘doing that thing again.’But we’re not the reaction. We’re the one noticing that we’re reacting. Behind the reaction, is our self — The aware being we are which is untouched by reactions, beliefs and judgements.That moment we notice, we also know we aren’t the reaction, but the one noticing it. So we can decide not to bother ourself with it.We can relax and rest in our aware being —behind the story we’ve been telling ourselves and let the life force move through.If we pause in that moment when we realize, “shit I’m doing it again— that thing I do when I don’t like what’s happening,” and soften behind it instead of attaching our identity to the reaction — we can relax and simply notice — and in the noticing, rather than defining ourselves as the reactor, which traps the resistant energy inside, we can rest in the awareness behind it and let it flow through… and flow with life rather than resist.What’s happening isn’t really bothersome unless you’ve decided that you need it to go a different way for you to feel okay inside. That guy going 50 miles an hour in the fast lane isn’t your problem. Your problem is that you’re bothering yourself with it.The key to working with these moments of enlightenment, is when you see your tendency to react in the old script,  ask yourself, “Do I really want to bother myself with what’s happening or let it go.The more we do this the freer we are to simply experience life — to fully experience all the currents of  the ever-changing life showing up perfectly as it is, in this moment, especially for us to experience and appreciate. We don’t ‘need’ to do anything with it. Just not bother ourselves with wishing it were different. It’s not. This is it! This moment is yours!Simply let it come in, feel its immensity, and let it flow on…Have a yummy day!
058_What is success?
Sep 21 2021
058_What is success?
In today’s episode we’re talking about what our criteria for success is, and how that effects our present moment happiness. When we compare how we see our lives to how we see the lives of the icons we revere, we are bound to come up short. The truth is, we only have our perception of what their life is like. And perception is a fickle thing, depending on our own personal filters and mental programming. This is why it is so important to question what we believe and why we set the standards we do for ourselves. What is your definition of success? What standards have you subscribe to, whether consciously or unconsciously? Where did you get that idea? Who are the icons you want or try to emulate?  How much do you compare yourself to those icons you revere? Do you feel less compared to them? What do you believe reaching that iconic state will give you? Do you have your happiness tied to achieving that future state or end product? Are you trading your present joy for some promised outcome by the so-called experts in your preferred field?What is it about being rich or famous or put on a pedestal in our field, that makes us want to ‘be like that’?We can only be ourselves anyway. Wishing it were different only causes internal stress. We always know if we’re being true to ourselves, or trying to be something we’re not in the hopes that down the road we’ll like ourselves better, by the way we feel. Right? Here at THE YUMMY WAY we call that our ‘yummy-stat’. —That internal barometer that guides us toward our true north in our individual lives.Knowing and embracing your own way of doing things — delighting in what brings you joy is crucial to enjoying the journey, moment to moment. It’s what keeps life exciting and personally rewarding as we go along. Sure make goals. But don’t have your idea of success tied to outcomes. Don’t let what someone else’s life looks like on the outside determine how you measure your success or happiness. It never works. Externals never make us happy. Reaching a goal feels good. By it isn’t the acquisition of the goal that gives us happiness. Contrary to what we’ve been told. Happiness is our natural state. When we’re striving we’re in stress. When we stop striving, the relief to our system is palpable. It feels good. We feel happy. That is until our ego or success-progamming tells us that’s not enough and sends us on another quest for more. Yes?This moment is truly all we have to  work with. Regardless of what we believe. Have you ever lived in any moment but the one you are in? No.It’s all in how we’re looking at life.Is ife happening to you? Or is life happening for you? When you look at life as a gift — like whatever comes your way is ‘for’ you to be happy, it changes the way you make choices. Making the moment to moment choice to love and accept ‘what is’ wholeheartedly and choose to find the joy in it, is my definition of a successful life.Isn’t the reason you want that money, that fame, that perfect relationship or whatever your definition of success is — isn’t the reason you want that because you believe it will make you happy? If ultimately happiness is the goal, why not choose to be happy with the moment you are in —accepting all the current circumstance and events coming together to make this particular moment happen for you — then moment to moment, let that joy guide the choices you make for what’s next?Have a yummy week & a yummy day!
057_Shame & Authenticity
Sep 13 2021
057_Shame & Authenticity
What keeps us from staying present in the actuality of what’s happening, moment to moment? In today’s episode we’re talking about shame and recognizing it for what it is — a program in our mind which discounts the actuality of our current experience, because of beliefs we’ve adopted that tell us what make us worthy of love, acceptance and the right to be who we are right here and now. Shame is always sponsored by a ‘should.’ Have you noticed? This should have gone like that our I should have acted differently, etc.  ‘Should’ is never in present tense. It is based in belief in cultural norms. Shame comes when we belief that something is wrong with us. We’ve bought into what those around us have told us is the right way to be and we feel like we’re not making the grade. It comes down to how we’ve been indoctrinated, and much we’ve internalized that indoctrination. Something happens, and rather than accept it and keep moving, we pull our energy inward and withdraw from honest participation in the moment because of a feeling of unworthiness. We personalize it as something that says something about our value and lovability.So shame is something we’re all familiar with, right? It seems immediate, yes? But it is really  secondary to the beliefs we have about who we are supposed to be versus who we really are — moment to moment. Shame is the feeling that tells us that we are out of sync with the truth of who we are as love. It is based in fear. The fear is that if we’re vulnerable and honest with another, they can use that truth as a weapon against us.  But it is only harmful if we still believe that the truth can hurt us. Shame requires secrecy to keep it in tact.When we feel shame arise, we can see it as an invitation to examine the beliefs we are harboring, reevaluate, and rather than withdraw into ourselves, we can express the feelings, the thoughts, the beliefs that are choking us up, moving the energy along so we can see that what’s happening is not actually personal. Shame makes us afraid to be ourselves. But the crazy thing is that if we are out loud about what we’re experiencing, it brings us present and we actually create a new base from which we operate — one of authentic vulnerability and personal power. The secret to dissolving shame is being willing to be vulnerable and honest when we want to withdraw and hold back from engaging. What we find is that as soon as share what what we want to keep secret — what we’re feeling and thinking —with another human being we realize it is us that has been giving shame all the power to cut us off from the human race.  You can’t be authentically yourself and hold onto your shame for long. Because when you’re being authentic, you’re just being yourself in that moment. For example, I might be thinking/ feeling, “shit I’m ashamed I didn’t know this sooner.” But the second I say, “I’m feeling ashamed I didn’t know this sooner,” the feeling changes. As soon as I disclose what I’m thinking and feeling— as soon as I take that hot feeling inside and breath it through with my words, with my connection with another human being, love rises up with that sharing and I instantly have an new experience of myself — one that is real and powerful with self-ownership.  Not only does it make me feel differently about myself, it offers the other person a chance to experience empathy and connection on a new level. Being honest about our shame when it arises takes the charge out of it. Authenticity is the great connector. Sharing the truth of our own experience is the only chance we have of being truly present and connected with someone else. When I’m owning my feelings, my perspective, I am simultaneously allowing you yours. This connects us in our humanness and love has a chance to take the lead.
056_Inevitability & Present Moment Choices
Sep 7 2021
056_Inevitability & Present Moment Choices
Okay first off —get this out of the way … We experimented with using video this time around and uhm, the video didn’t take. Ultimately we decided that what feels yummy, for now, is to stay with our regular format for the podcast. In today’s podcast episode we’re talking about accepting life exactly as it is and what part we play in making legit choices while still accepting the inevitability that what life is bringing us as part of our particular life path. When faced with a ‘big scare’ like COVID or cancer, the tendency is to lead with fear — to compulsively look for data that will appease the feeling of powerlessness we have.  We think the ‘right’ data will mitigate the fears we have.  Our mind’s can go crazy looking for data -who’s right and who’s wrong. But what’s underneath all of that is the fear of death… The fear of lack of control…The truth is, we have no control. And we all have a terminal condition. It’s called life. We’re all going to die. Ultimately that’s the biggie. We’re afraid of dying. Yet it is, like the saying goes, inevitable.  We’re all going to die. We all have a terminal condition. When death comes, it comes. It could be a freak accident or an undiagnosed illness or a heart attack … And whether we want to believe it or not, there is nothing we can do to prevent its coming. Will we be ready? Not if we’re constantly leaving the present moment in fear of  fantasies of future disasters we’re trying to stave off. Our minds spin stories of future what-if’s. And we leave the presence of our own being in the current moment we’re in — the only moment that is actually accurate. Now is the only moment that can give us honest data — our own experience.This dynamic is the same conversation with life we’re always presented with.  I’m not saying we don’t gather information so that we can come to a place where we have clarity of mind. Maybe follow controls — but not out of fear, but from a place of self-love. What feels like the most loving things for us to do right now.The key for me is where am doing life from. Am I reacting to circumstances or am I flowing with life — accepting what is, because that’s what is, and making present moment decisions that feel ‘right’ and ‘true’ for me? If I’m reacting in fear, it controls my choice. But by accepting the actuality of what’s happening, I can make choices that feel most loving for me. And the wild thing is, is that that’s always the best way I can serve my fellow beings. There’s so much we don’t know. But what we do know, is the knowing of our own experience. And it’s never going to lie to us. We can get all the data we need for right now — by presencing ourselves in the moment we’re in. It just takes a moment — take a breath  and presence yourself in the moment. Once you have your own presence you can choose what feels most loving — what feels yummy — right now. We make choices that feel more life-giving in the moment. Can we let go of everything we think is wrong or we fear in right now, and come back home to ourselves — back to the yummy space inside? Yes!
055_Giving & Receiving — Living a Life of Abundance
Jul 20 2021
055_Giving & Receiving — Living a Life of Abundance
In today’s episode we’re talking about giving and receiving.  It’s really a matter of where we’re coming from, both in the giving and receiving. Are we coming from love, joy and the natural extension of sharing that comes from that? Or are we giving and receiving with the expectation of  getting  something in return?Like if you give someone something, you expect them to say thank you, yes? Why?So often, when we give, we have an agenda attached. We give and expect a response that validates us. Do we give out of guilt, expectation or obligation? Do we expect certain gifts or behaviors from others as proof  of their love of care?There are so many social norms that can get in the way giving for the simple joy of the experience of giving. It’s Christmas, Valentines Day, birthdays, etc., so there’s like this built-in expectation that if we love someone, we’ll give them something special to prove we thought of them.  Right? Most of us have had moments when we recognized an inner resistance to these social norms. Generosity is a natural part of our human condition — of our divine condition — of the natural out-flowing of love, which seeks to share and join with another. Expectation robs us of the opportunity for our natural generosity to come up for us. We might act, but our heart isn’t fully engaged. Can you relate? It feels yummy to give, yes? That’s the gift we’re already receiving. Whether it’s a behavior, a gesture or a physical gift, it is always our heart we are giving. Are we giving it away?  What we want to emphasize is the dynamic energy of giving and receiving with love.  When you change your behavior because somebody expects it of you, you are robbing  yourself, and them, of the real you. When someone or social norms seem to ask a particular behavior from you, you can step back, step away from the context, and find what’s true and authentic within. And accept that request from a genuine place of gratitude and love. And then respond in joy and generosity. Let’s talk a minute about receiving. Every gift, be it monetary, a smile, a gesture or behavior, is really an extension of love. It might come through looking like a call for love — like when someone is expecting something from you. But it is alway love looking to meet itself within the exchange. True receiving is never about the gift someone is giving or doing thing they want you to do — it is receiving the person with love. Receiving is never about the thing or the request. It is about receiving the person’s extension of themselves. If someone is offering anything to you, eye to eye contact, a gift, a smile, a hand, an opinion — anything that someone is extending, to just receive it as a gift of unity together is the greatest joy. The thing doesn’t matter. The person the does. That is what receiving is for. That is what giving is for. There are always two things going on when we are having an exchange with someone. There is the response of our inner being that recognizes the chance for unity. Then there’s this ego or programmed response that jumps in and judges the exchange.  And if we listen to that voice in our head we miss the authentic experience being gifted us in that moment. Finally, we all just want to be seen and accepted and loved just for who we are! This is the purpose all giving and receiving. If we let social norm expectations or our judgement of what we think someone else’s motivation for giving is, we miss the true exchange possible. It feels yummy just to receive everything from everyone and every single way we are being gifted life in countless ways. Have a yummy week & a yummy day!
054_Failure IS an option — or The Amazing Potentiality of Failure
Jul 13 2021
054_Failure IS an option — or The Amazing Potentiality of Failure
“Success is not final; failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~Winston ChurchillToday we’re talking about failure.  When the topic of failure came into my email. I immediately noticed a resistance to the label, “failure.” Hummm…. There’s something here for me to look at…Failure. It’s just a freakin’ word! A label I’ve given meaning and attached value to. Failure is such a loaded word — I like ‘course correction’ better. Take a check for yourself. Notice if you, too,  are uncomfortable with the word ‘failure.’ Why is that? Because somewhere in our past, we learned to believe it said something about who we and how well we’re living our lives, right?  Can you relate?When I notice a glitch like this to a particular word or something, I like to stop and walk it back to the simplicity of facts, rather than the emotional reaction to them. For me, stopping and copping to failing at something is a crucial step toward opening my mind to seeing the situation in a whole new way. Anytime I resist, I know it is an invitation from life to drop an old construct I have, and open my mind and heart to seeing it a different way — one that speaks to a fun adventure inside me. For this reason I knew ‘failure’ was the perfect topic for this week’s discussion. When I look at the actuality of my life, I see how failure has play a role in every life-changing event in my life. Now failure has a different texture to it. And I see that I’ve already found a new way of looking at failure as a springboard that has encouraged me to dust myself off and try something new. I had one of those amazing  ‘aha’ moments this week … and I’m still totally in awe of the shift in me!I was listening to a podcast and it’s like all the sudden I realized I’ve been wrong about how I have been seeing this authoring and marketing thing!It started with the thought, “I’m failing at this authoring thing.” The next thought was, “is it true?” Then, “what is it about this situation that I’m failing at?” Marketing! Holy shit! I’ve been wrong about how I’m seeing this! What’s so crazy is that I’ve been avoiding it like the plague — and now see it it was an adventure in disguise the whole time. I just was looking through the eyes of an old, unexamined belief. Now I see what I thought as failure as way of opening myself to new options, to learning and fresh experiences. There’s a whole different way of looking at it, a ton of things to learn and try — a whole new adventure to go on! One I’d don’t want to miss! Anytime you say yes to anything worth doing, there will be risk and stakes. Risk plus stakes means failure is on the table. It is a relentless part of anything worth doing. Has to be. Saying yes to a something great that holds the potential of awesomeness also means saying yes to the possibility of it failing. And actually, to tons of little failures necessary for course correction. I’m looking at failing now, as ‘here’s this one thing’ that isn’t going to work.  So, I’m checking that method off and trying something new. This is what I’m doing with marketing my books. I can’t wait to see what happens next.The only way we can succeed in any endeavor is to accept failure as not only an option, but a necessary part of the equation.  So failure is just another name for the way we course correct. Where in your life are you being invited to course correct — to open your mind to seeing another way of doing something?  Or maybe even, to scrap what you’re doing, so something else has room to come to you?Have a yummy week & a yummy day!
053_If You Had All Unlimited Money, How Would You Be Living Your Life?
Jul 6 2021
053_If You Had All Unlimited Money, How Would You Be Living Your Life?
Today we’re talking about what we value and why. What do we believe makes us happy? Do we have it attached to things like money and status?Money plays a huge role in the collective belief that more will make us happy. We spend so much of our lives living to an internal script dictating what we need to acquire or accomplish, the status or wealth that we believe that once acquired will bring us happiness. Right?What role does money play in your idea of happiness?In today’s episode  we share about when we got together and the very different perspectives we had about what happiness is.Lar had all the trappings, the material things, the finer things in life. I had love and an inner joy and none of the trappings. This coming together was a catalyst for a complete re-evaluation of old ideas and beliefs about what abundance and happiness are, and a surrender of the old storyline in favor of living present to the moment to moment life we’ve been given. Lar shares about his transformation from the material world to the world of Love. Funny thing too, something we saw up close and personal — Everything necessary remains.  What serves the purpose of love and joy comes to us in ways we could never have imagined through the old storyline of striving and acquisition. From the base of love and acceptance of life just as it is, we realize that we always have what we need. Each present moment is happiness-ready.  If only we don’t resist because we believe something else would be better, we can realize how abundant life already is.The thing is, as long as we can transfer our happiness onto trappings, we often won’t take the journey inward toward true abundance.Life is so generous. It is always bringing us opportunities to pause the trajectory we’re on that isn’t bringing us happiness, and invites us surrender and live a true and authentic life.What is your idea of abundance? When we have abundance twisted up in material values outside ourselves, nothing is ever enough. We believe that striving is crucial to get to happiness someplace down the road. But what if that’s just a misperception? Can you drop the story you’ve been telling yourself and check within for what is essentially you? When every ‘thing’ is stripped away, what remains is our being.  It is our ability to choose how we see, how we feel, and what we bring to the world that is authentically us. The purpose of life is to be happy... Isn’t that why we do whatever it is we do? Even when we’re in conflict, don’t we believe that having the upper hand will make us happy?  Ultimately, everything we choose to do, we believe will somehow bring us happiness. Why not start with being happy, now? Let go of your story for just now, and find out for yourself.The yummy way is saying yes to what is, right here and now.  Regardless of what your storyline is, if you are resisting what is… thinking you need more of something to be happy, it’s a signal from life to pause and let go of the storyline... and see that you are enough. In an instant you can feel that release of letting go of the story you’ve been telling and just be… and see that life is abundant and you can be at ease with whatever is going on. Take a breath.Let go.Feel the aliveness of being — the quiet joy that happiness resides within you now.Have a yummy week & a yummy day!
052_Old Neighborhood — New World
Jun 22 2021
052_Old Neighborhood — New World
Lar and I recorded this on Father’s Day. Lar’s in New Mexico and I’m in Utah. So saying Happy Father’s Day, Lar, looks like me filling him in on the latest events happening with our kids and grandkids and the appreciation we have all been expressing with each other about what a powerful champion he has been (and continues to be) in their lives. It feels good to join in a conversation that celebrates our union and bring this podcast cast to life week after week.I was telling him that being in Salt Lake, visiting my old stomping grounds has felt profound for me. What made it so poignant this time around, is that I just finished writing a memoir shipped it to the publisher, Mandala Tree Publishing,  a couple of days ago. So I’m kind of in a reflective and appreciative mood for the part this setting and the events in my life that took place in this city that ultimately transformed me and my life. I’m looking through the eyes of now, where forgiveness and love have transformed the way I revisit my old neighborhood. JOY is my predominate feeling now. Course, that’s the yummy way. And it all started for me here, in Salt Lake City, Utah.  Anyway,  it got me thinking about how often we revisit old haunts and don’t see through the fresh eyes of today, this moment. How present to now are you when you revisit things from your past?Lar shares how hanging onto an old perspective of a place where he was teaching made it near impossible to be open to what was actually in front of him. We’re so sure we understand the past and what to bring into the future, that it interferes with seeing the actuality of what’s happening now.  When we cling to our perspectives, we overlay our past on the present don’t see what real. We cheat ourselves of being present and having the presence of mind to deal with what’s happening. We have to be willing to let go of our old storyline so a new world can unfold. With things beginning to open up and things are seemingly getting “back to normal” we’ve become accustomed to living with the pandemic in our lives. We have a deeper sense of our inner-connectedness. Many of us said during the long weeks of quarantine that we don’t want to go back to the way things were with such tremendous divisiveness. But are we taking the steps necessary to make sure that this experience with the global pandemic transforms our world with the lessons we learned and the actions we take? Here are a few questions to keep in mind as you move into your old neighborhood, so to speak, and into your new world:What will I do differently for things to be ‘better’ then before?How can I find creative solutions that unify rather than divide?How can I not overthink, but rather collaborate to bring new life to old environments.What must I take more seriously?What would be better served to take more ‘lightly’?What must I let go of?What can I now embrace that I resisted before? No matter what shows up on a daily basis, be it a celebration of life — like with Vivi’s birthday party,  or the moments when heartbreak strikes — like someone you love getting seriously hurt and you’re completely powerless… Can we be present and welcome it all? Can we allow and champion each of our feelings, so we can be available to act with presence and not just some canned response we think we’re suppose to be like? Have a yummy week and a yummy day!
051_AGE — It’s Just a Number — Right?
Jun 15 2021
051_AGE — It’s Just a Number — Right?
“Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!" - Ingrid BergmanLar and I are just arriving at the ‘prime’ of our lives as far as I’m concerned. It’s funny how as we age that number of what prime changes. Especially the more we live in the present moment. I can honestly say, “This moment is the prime of my life!” Not only because I know that this moment is the only moment there is — so why cheat myself by thinking the past was the prime, when this moment is the only one I have and have ever had. So it’s the prime of my life because I want it that way!This time of our lives is the only time we have to live in. So why look back? Why tell yourself you’re too old for this or that? If you hear yourself saying something like this, check inside to see what your beliefs around age are. Are those beliefs inhibiting your ability to be present in the situation with all the circumstances that go with this present prime? Why do we try to hang on to this illusion of youth? Why not settle in to the ‘you’ you actually are right now? Accept it all as it is. That feels yummy!Lar tells us about his relationship with his beautiful head of hair, and the loss of it, both with age and radiation treatments. He finally bit the bullet and shaved his head. He tells me he looks in the mirror and sees this old guy.  And that’s what started us talking about what age really is. What we see, or the changes our body’s go through as a natural course of living a life, doesn’t really reflect how we feel inside. We’re always the same age inside. The same me that looks in the mirror now is the same one that was looking in the mirror when I was 21 or even three years old discovering the mirror for the first time. Isn’t that the truth for all of us? We, as a society, worship youth.  And too often as we grow older we try desperately to hold on to that youthful appearance. We need to ask ourselves why? We think we want to do something because we think it means something — but it’s never about what we think it means.  What is it we’re trying to get? If it’s not for the joy of it, reconsider. Check your motives. How we look changes as we age, and we never really see reality. What we see doesn’t really reflect who we actually are, right? The only thing we really know is our own experience. If you are love, you are beautiful.  When you’re happy, beauty shines from within. As we age time mutates, yes? We find ourselves saying, was that last year, or ten years ago or yesterday? But there’s also this sweet slowing down and appreciating life moment to moment that happens. It’s beautiful. As we age we quit trying to control everything and our values become more and more about appreciating the moments we’re living. We quit driving for what we think success or perfection is and listen to life. I love what Cindy Joseph said, “Aging is just another name for living.”Love the life you have right now — that’s the yummy way! “Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which you were born.” Albert Einstein
050_Are You Waiting Until You Feel Ready?
Jun 8 2021
050_Are You Waiting Until You Feel Ready?
Have you ever spent more time getting ready for something than you did actually doing the something? You have this great idea. You want to start or create something.  You want to try something and you don’t much about it. We research, look at stuff, gathering information and we would hopefully at sometime, we feel comfortable enough to then do it. Right?It’s that “hoping to be comfortable enough to start” place we discussing in today’s podcast.Preparation is good. Having the knowledge is good. Understanding is good. Information can be valuable and even help us feel more confident. But at some point we have to take a leap of faith in ourselves and just do it.We’re never going to feel completely ready to take a leap of faith. That why it’s a leap of faith. We’re never totally comfortable leaping into the unknown. That feeling on the edge of starting something is palpable. It is the intersection of excitement — of joy & fear.  If you’ve ever gone rock climbing and repelled off the top — that’s the feeling!This is where often, rather than leap and just do the thing, because we don’t feel ready, we do more research, more ‘prep’ to hopefully dampen the fear part of that equation.  Prep can only take you so far. Prep will never match the actuality of doing the thing.  I’ve forgotten tons of great idea projects I had that never got off the ground because I got lost in ‘getting ready’ until the idea no longer felt exciting or feasible. Can you relate?What’s behind this?  Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Getting ready is comfortable, because no actual leap has taken place. Getting ready is fun, because there is no commitment in place. Getting ready is distracting, because when you think that you don’t know what you are doing, you focus on all the things you don’t know yet instead of picking one and starting.  It feels productive, but it never really gets you anywhere. There’s a fine line between preparing ourselves and being in the moment, and saying, “Okay I’m going to let go of expectations.” “I’m going to let go of what my bar of success is.” “The reason I’m doing this is because I want to try something new.” That is reason enough. To try the new thing for the experience of trying the new thing. For the present moment experience of ourselves taking the leap.When I look back on some of the greatest moments of my life, they all started with a leap of faith.How about you? Do you get stuck in analysis paralysis? What are you waiting for?It’s crucial to be honest with ourselves about what we’re up to with over-preparing. There’s always an expert we can give our power to to buy ourselves a few more moment of delay, of procrastination.  But only experience changes our relationship with the unknown of trying something new.Kids live in the adventure of taking leaps of faith. They are great teachers for us to remember we can leap before we feel ready.  Every leap of faith builds our faith in ourselves. It teaches us to trust ourselves to be flexible and adapt to new information. We learn to trust our intuition instead of relying on ‘experts’ that aren’t even in our unique situation.  When we trust ourselves we can be in the moment and respond to what life is presenting us with honestly. This is where real communication with life takes place. Stop waiting to be ready and take a leap of faith now! You’re worth it!