In today’s episode we talk about what we do with ourselves when we experience pain in our lives, be it physical or psychological.
Initially we want to resist. We don’t like pain. We want to fix it or get rid of it. And this causes suffering. Then, if we are of the mindset that our thoughts create reality, we judge that something has gone wrong. We feel guilty. We blame ourselves, judging that we must have done something, or we believe something that has caused the painful occurrence to happen.
And this cycle become our total focus. Giving us a sense of reality that feels shitty. And we’re to blame. That is hell.
But what is that really?
Plain and simple — It is RESISTANCE to what is!
It is a delay tactic, a way to avoid looking at the pain and accepting it as part of what is right now.
But what if we just stay present in our body? Pain is a sensation we’re experiencing. What if we stay present and accept the actuality of what’s really happening?
Notice you have a sensation and welcome it. Notice the tendency to resist. Notice what your mind does with pain when it resists accepting it. Notice if it triggers guilt and see that the guilt tightens the grip of pain. It doesn’t loosen it. It adds a story to the immediacy of your experience.
The guilt story and self-blame are a distraction from welcoming the sensation as it is — Sensation. It sets off a series of judgments and rejection of what is and now that pain is suffering.
Guilt is not a real emotion. It is a signal that you are punishing yourself based on faulty belief that you can control reality. It is a side-effect of rejecting our present experience. The second you realize guilt has arrived, rather than let it assign your marching orders of how to fix or get rid of what you think you don’t want or can’t live with, you can choose to let go of the desire to attack yourself and the present moment with it.
Instead, realize you are living with whatever it is. You have always been able to live with what life brings your way — or you’d be dead now. Don’t make up a painful story about how it’s too much this time, causing you further suffering. Just notice. By noticing it you can stop the cycle in its tracks.
Shit’s going to happen. It’s arrogant to believe you control the mysterious forces of the universe. If pain is happening, it is an invitation to move deeper into the awareness of your changeless, essential being.
But you can’t as long as you resist what’s happening. Welcome first. Aware that you are the not the pain or the knee-jerk guilt. But the one aware of it. This is your essential self, where love and joy already reside.
Notice the feeling of being victimized and realize it is an attack on the awareness of your essential being which is love. Love welcomes everything.
The thing that happened, happened. I’m not in charge of all the forces of the universe. But I am in charge of accepting or resisting it. Resistance makes it impossible to see the whole picture of our life. Pain is just one sensation — one part of our dance with life.
If guilt arises, we can see it is a signal that we are resisting what is. We can then pause and welcome the sensation, with love. Love that we’ve noticed our resistance, and choose to forgive the idea that we are guilty. Nothing is wrong unless we make it wrong in our minds.
When our child falls down and skins her knee — We instinctively kiss it better. I think our initial immediate response is right. Pour Love into it!
Our so-called troubles are not in the way — they are the way.
Choose to see EVERYTHING AS A GIFT — Kiss your boo-boos and get on with the dance.
The steps might look different with the present condition you have accepted. But through acceptance, love leads the dance and it is joyful and freeing.
Thanks for joining us for another yummy conversation.